Gilligan's Island (1964–1992): Season 2, Episode 27 - Ghost-a-Go-Go - full transcript

♪ just sit right back
and you'll hear a tale ♪

♪ a tale of a fateful trip ♪

♪ that started
from this tropic port ♪

♪ aboard this tiny ship ♪

♪ the mate was
a mighty sailin' man ♪

♪ the skipper brave and sure ♪

♪ 5 passengers set sail that day
for a 3-hour tour ♪

♪ a 3-hour tour ♪

♪ the weather started
getting rough ♪

♪ the tiny ship was tossed ♪

♪ if not for the courage
of the fearless crew ♪



♪ the minnow would be lost,
the minnow would be lost ♪

♪ the ship set ground
on the shore of this ♪

♪ uncharted desert isle ♪

♪ with gilligan ♪

♪ the skipper, too ♪

♪ the millionaire and his wife ♪

♪ the movie star ♪

♪ the professor and Mary Ann ♪

♪ here on gilligan's isle ♪

Ooooh...

Skipper?

Is that you?

Ooooh!

No, that
wasn't you,
skipper.



Ooooh!

Skipper, skipper,
wake up, wake up!

What's the matter,
what is it,
little buddy?

I just saw a ghost
out there!

Oh, for
goodness'
sakes, gilligan,

you didn't
wake me up out
of a sound sleep

to tell me about
your nightmare?

No, no, no. I saw
a real live ghost
out there!

Gilligan,
people are alive,
ghosts are dead.

Then I saw
a real dead ghost,
and he ran that way.

Well,
if he was dead,

how come he
was running
that way?

But, skipper--but,
skipper, he's right
out there, skipper.

Oh, gilligan,
would you
stop that?

Now go to sleep!
Goodnight!

You're dreaming.

Oh.

Yeah, maybe
I was dreaming.

I just dreamt
there was a ghost.

There's no such thing
as a...Ghost.

Ooh...

Come on,
gilligan. We both
have things to do.

Please, skipper,
don't make me come out.

Gilligan, I've
told you, there
are no ghosts.

Now
come on outside.

We've both
got important
things to do.

Skip--

skipper, can't we
both do them without me?

No, gilligan.
Just come outside

and I'll prove that
there was no ghost.

Well, I'll
prove there was.

No!

Oh!

Would you mind
telling me what
you're doing?

Looking for
the ghost's footprints.

Oh, gilligan.

Look, I just
got through
telling you

there's
no such things
as ghosts.

But, skipper--
there never
has been,

there never
will be!

And
another thing--

they don't leave
footprints.

Oh, well,
maybe he left
some fingerprints.

Will you
stop that?

For goodness'
sakes, you're
gonna have

everybody
around here
scared to death.

But, skipper,
what I saw last night
was a ghost.

How can you
be so sure?

I've seen a lot
of ghost movies.

I never
forget a face.

Look, gilligan, i'm
gonna get some fresh
water for the hut.

Why don't you
go out and get
some firewood?

What if
I meet the ghost?

Well, then
he can help you
carry the wood.

And don't go around
telling all those
stories, now, gilligan.

You'll have everybody
as jumpy as you are.

I'm not jumpy. Hmmph!

Oh, gilligan.

Oh, I'm sorry,
Mary Ann.

Oh, that's
alright.

At least I know
it was you who
caused the trouble.

Last night
we didn't know
what it was.

What what was?

Well, we were asleep
in our cabin,

and somebody
knocked on the door.

And when we said,
"who is it?"
Nobody answered.

So it was there,
too.

What was there?

Oh, maybe
it was
a traveling

door-to-door
salesman.

On this island?

No. What
I meant was,

maybe it was
air in your
hot water tank.

Gilligan,
we don't have
a hot water tank.

What I
meant was air
in your pipes.

We don't have
any pipes, either.

Maybe you
oughta talk with
your landlord.

Oh, gilligan,
this is serious.

We heard some
awfully strange
noises in the night,

and gilligan?
Yeah?

Once, when I
got up and looked
out the window,

I thought I saw--

don't say it!

Aah!

Hi, ginger.

Mary Ann,
did you see
the magazine

I was
reading
last night?

Yeah, I thought
you left it
on the table.

I thought
so, too.

Maybe it's
under the table.

Couldn't be.
Why not?

The table's
gone, too.

That's why not,
alright.

Ginger,
I think gilligan
knows something.

I don't
know anything
about anything.

That's strange.

What's strange?
For gilligan,

not to
know anything
about anything

is perfectly
normal.

Lovey, I wonder
how we're gonna
get that thing down.

I mean, it would
take an engineer--

oh, gilligan.

Oh, hi,
Mr. and Mrs. Howell.

Is there
something
wrong, gilligan?

Yes, yes,
my boy,

you seem
like you're
in another world.

Mr. Howell,
don't say that.

I want to stay here
in this world.

Ha ha. Permission
granted. Ha!

Oh, thurston,
you're
so Democratic.

Lovey, lovey,
watch your language.

Gilligan, my boy,
there's something

I want to discuss
with you.

Yes, Mr. Howell?

I wish you'd stop
from playing

those dreary little
practical jokes.

Me? What kind
of jokes?

Well, like that,
like that.

I mean, the idea
of putting my
practice Polo pony

way up in a tree
like that.

I didn't do that,
Mr. Howell.

Well, the Polo pony
didn't fly up there.

It might have.
It what?

If it was
a horse fly.

Gilligan, my boy,
you still want

to stay
in this world?

Oh, thurston,
you should
scold him, too,

for doing
that silly dance

on our patio
last night.

It wasn't
at all funny.

It wasn't cold
out there, I mean,
doing that dance

dressed only
in a little white
night shirt?

Mr. Howell,
I didn't do any dance
on your patio last night.

Oh, well, then
it must have been
somebody else.

Yes, but whom?

Whom?

I don't know,
but it wasn't "meem."

Whom, who?

You know,
lovey, my dear,

we're gonna have
a dickens of a time

getting that thing down,
so do be careful.

Me? I?

Whom, baby.

What time did you say
this was, professor?

Shortly
after 11:00.

Oh, well, then it
couldn't have been
gilligan or me,

'cause we were
both sound asleep.

Both of you?

Well, yes.

Well, then, skipper,
if you were asleep,

how could you know
that gilligan was?

Well,
because he told me
when he woke up.

Well, if gilligan
was asleep,

how could he know
that you were?

Well, because I...

Well...yes.

Something I can't
stand is logic.

Oh...

I should be able
to figure out a
logical answer.

Well, what sort
of a sound was it?

Well,
as I recall,
it was a...

It was
a mournful
sort of a cry.

Let's see,
it was a...

Ooooh...

A ghost!

A ghost, a ghost
is after me!

Gilligan!

It was me!

Ooooh!

Ooooh!

Gilligan, I am
trying to get
some sleep.

Now can we turn
out the light?

I can't go to bed.
I'm not sleepy.

Well, then
why don't you get
yourself a book?

You know,
reading always
puts you to sleep.

Okay.

Shh.

Now what?

I can't read.
I lost my glasses.

You don't
wear glasses.

Then how do you
expect me to read?

Gilligan!

Skipper, come on.
Let's go play
some checkers.

I don't wanna
play checkers.

I wanna
go to sleep.

Let's play some cards.
I'll let you win.

Gilligan,
I always win.

I'll let you lose.

Will you put
that light out?

No, sir, skipper,
when you're living

on a haunted island,
anything can happen.

Alright, alright,
alright!

I'll get
the cards.

No, we're not
going to play cards.

We're gonna settle
this ghost business
right here and now.

But, skipper--
no arguments!

Now, I want you
to go outside,

and I
don't want you
to come back in

until you've
counted to 10.

But it's dark
out there.

Go out and
count to 10!

Can I
count to 10
by fives?

No, gilligan.

Fours?

No. By ones.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5,

6, 7, 8, 9, 10!

I can count
faster that that,
1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10!

Gilligan, outside!

10!

Outside!

Hello, gilligan.

Hi, skipper.

Well, gilligan,
how does it
feel to be cured?

You walked right in
to the front of a ghost,
and you weren't even scared.

I knew
you weren't a ghost.

A ghost doesn't
wear a sheet
stamped s.S. Minnow.

We're gonna cure
this ghost thing
right now.

Anybody in
their right minds knows

that there's no
such thing as a guh--

uhh...

Skipper?

What happened?

Skipper?

I'll revive you,
I'll revive you.

Where'd you go?

Oh,
there you are.

Oh, skipper,
I'm not gonna sleep

in that hut
another minute.

It's haunted!

The whole island
is haunted.

You have
to put us up
for the night.

Well, but i--

we only have
2 hammocks.

Oh, well,
I've got mine.
Just a minute.

Howell is sleeping,
howell is sleeping!

I can't
get out of here!

Oh, heavens, I've--

goodnight, everybody.

We know
there's got to be
a logical answer.

Yeah, but does
the ghost know?

Quiet, gilligan.

Now, go on,
professor.

Alright,
we all think
we've seen a ghost.

But could it
have been, say,

a patch of fog?

Didn't look
like fog to me.

Me either.

Alright,
what about
a cloud

or a white
sheet?

Well, I think
it's possible,
professor.

Girls, have either
of you noticed
a sheet missing?

Come to think
of it, there is
a sheet missing.

It was gone
from the clothing
a few days ago.

And that was
just about the time
our ghost showed up.

Perhaps that sheet
blew off the line.

And it's been
blowing around
ever since.

That's what
we've all seen,

just a plain,
old sheet.
Right, gilligan?

Right, skipper,
a sheet with arms and legs

and a voice that goes

ooooh!

Stop that!

Oh, it's
gotta be a sheet.

Therefore,
find the sheet,

and I think
you'll have your ghost.

I'll go
with you.

No, gilligan.
I think we can cover
more ground separately.

Skipper, if I see
that sheet first,

I won't be
covering ground,

the ground
will be covering me.

Yes, or I'll
be covering you.

Oooooh!

Do I hear somebody?

I thought
I heard somebody.

You
no hear nobody.

Oh, that's good.

You only
hear ghost.

Ghost?

Me,
I am ghost.

Are you a good ghost
or a bad--bad ghost?

Good ghost.

Oh, then how come
you scare people?

Because
people scare me.

That is why you must all
get off ghost's island.

Yes, sir, Mr. Ghost.

Why, we didn't know
it was your island,

but we have no way
to get off.

You find way!

You must all leave,
and soon.

Ooooh!

Skipper.

Skipper,
I found
the ghost.

I found
the ghost--

ooooh...

Aaah!

Ooooh...

Skipper!

Skipper!
Skipper!

Skipper!

Gilligan, little buddy,
I've got great news.

Later, skipper.
We've gotta get off
the island.

If only we had
a boat.

Skipper!
Oh, we found a boat!

Yeah, I know. And
listen to this, gilligan.

"Boat has all the things
you need for long trip.

Take it. It is for you.
Signed your friend,
the ghost."

Gilligan, we've got
everything we need.

Food, water,
compass.

Everything
to help us
sail home.

Yeah, after all this time
on the island,

it'll feel good
to be on dry land again.

Yes.

Gilligan,
this is dry land.

Yeah, but
it's surrounded by wet.

Oh, never mind.

Now let's get up
to the others

and tell them
about the boat.

Just can't
get over the fact

that a ghost
gave us a boat.

Well,
maybe he didn't.

He what?

Maybe
it's a ghost ship.

Maybe it's not even
really here.

Well, of course
it's really here.
Can't you see it?

Yeah. But maybe
we only think
we can see it.

It feels
like a boat.

It is a boat,
gilligan!

Now I'll go up
and tell the howells
and the professor,

you go up and tell
Mary Ann and ginger.

Okay, skipper.

Oh, and tell them
that the boat's
going to be crowded,

so we only carry
what we need.

Only carry
what we need.

That's right.
Tell the girls,
no souvenirs.

No souvenirs.

Just tell them
to come down here with
their bare essentials.

Bare essentials, yeah.

Their what?!

Gilligan,
will you get up there
and tell them about the boat?

Tell them to come down here
with their bare essentials?

Okay. But I sure
hope they don't
catch cold.

Whenever you're ready,
we can leave.

Gilligan,
you're sure that
you and skipper

saw the boat,
didn't you?

Uh-huh.
We both touched it

to make sure
it was real.

Oh, in that case,
we're packed
in 5 minutes.

Well, wait a minute.
Aren't you scared

to go in a boat
that's been left
by a ghost?

Gilligan,
if a witch came
on this island,

I'd fight her
for the broom.

And another thing
the skipper told me
to tell everybody else

To bring your,
um...Bare essentials.

I'd be happy to.

Me, too.

Oh. Well, okay. I'll
keep my eyes closed.

So, as soon
as possible,
we'll set sail.

Oh, dear.
There won't
be anybody

to meet us
at the dock.

No. Unless we're met
by royalty, we just...

Won't leave,
that's all.

Then
stay behind.

We'll go! We'll go!
He can be so impetuous,
so big--

now, look.
It's a small boat,
so don't take anything

except what
you absolutely need.

Oh, I never go anywhere
without my furs and jewelry.

I told you,
only the essentials.

I'll handle this,
I'll handle this.

Captain,
suppose I were to make

a rather small donation
to the sailors' fund?

Oh, Mr. Howell--
a large
donation.

No.

For the last time,
no, no, no!

That sounds rather definite.

Alright.
We'll just
have to get along

with these
2 little kits,
that's all.

Oh, come on,
Mr. Howell.

There's nothing
in those trunks

that we actually
need for survival.

Well, there
most certainly is.

There's my fox
and my leopard

and my chinchilla and
my mink and my sable--

my money.

One more word,
and I leave you.

Thurston!

What's taking
everybody so long?

Maybe nobody
wants to leave.

Well, of course
everybody's anxious
to leave, gilligan.

I'm not.

Why, certainly
everybody wants

to get back
to civilization.

I had fun here.

But, gilligan,
there'll be people
on the streets...

Yeah, pushing
and shoving.

And restaurants...
Waiting
for a table.

And you'll get paid
for a day's work.

Who cares
about money?

Wait a minute,
wait a minute!

Who said a dirty word?
"Who cares about money?"

Oh, please,
Mr. Howell.

I said
no luggage.

This is not my luggage.
This is my wallet.

Mrs. Howell,
you sure
got fat fast.

Oh, I haven't
gained an ounce.

Funny-looking coat.
It's got fox
down to here

and leopard
down to there

and chinchilla
down to there.

Thurston, do I have
to take them off?

Not by the hair
of your chinny chinchilla.

There you are,
girls.

Is it alright
if we each
take a bag?

Well, yes. But i--
well, I wish
you'd share just one.

Oh, honestly, skipper.
We just took
what we needed.

Just
the bare necessities.

Lipstick, Rouge,
eyeshadow, mascara.

Hair rollers, hair spray,
nail Polish, and eyeliner.

Skipper, they forgot
the bare essentials.
If you'll excuse me, girls.

Eh, let's get going,
shall we?

Sorry, but we are
not going anywhere.

Oh, thurston.
Did you hear that?

He said we're
not going anywhere.

Well, these eggheads,
they never say
what they mean.

I said exactly what I meant.
We are not going.

But, professor,
you must be kidding.

We've got
the boat
and everything.

Unfortunately,
I am very suspicious.

There is something rotten
in Denmark.

What do we care?
We don't go anywhere
near Denmark.

Thurston, you're right.
They don't say
what they mean.

Now, consider this.

First someone tries
to frighten us off
the island.

Then when they discover
that we can't leave,

they provide us
with a boat. Why?

I know.
So we can leave.
Let's go, everybody.

Don't you see,
gilligan?
It's a trap.

Well, no, it's not
a trap, it's a boat.

We touched it
and felt it.

But come
to think of it,

we haven't
sailed in it.

Maybe this ghost
not only wants us
off the island.

Maybe
he wants us dead.

That is
a strong possibility.

Well, why would he
want a thing like that?

I'm not sure
what his motive is,

but just to be
on the safe side,

I propose we send
the boat out first
with a dummy aboard.

Oh, no! Oh, no!
I'm not going
out there alone!

Gilligan,
stop that!

But what
if it's safe?

Well, in that case,
we retrieve the boat
and sail for home.

Oh, but if he's watching
and there's only
one dummy aboard--

oh, no! I said--

gilligan!

We will use 7 dummies,
one resembling each of us.

You might say
real dead ringers.

Gilligan, I can't
seem to find a coconut

that's big enough
for my cap.

You should've gone
to the other side
of the island

and got
a jumbo-sized one.

I don't think
that's very funny.

All that I meant
was that you're
a big guy

and you've got
a big head.

Gilligan--
and a big
heart.

Thank you. Well,
never mind, gilligan.

I'll end up
using a gourd, I guess.

What is it
you're doing?

Making you.

That's supposed
to be me?

Only
the bottom half.

Come on, gilligan.
I'm not this big.

Well, skipper,
you said to make it
lifelike, remember?

But I'm not
that big, gilligan.

Sure, you are.

I am not.

Sure, you are.

I am not, gilligan.

Sure, you are.

Gilligan,
for goodness' sakes,
I'm not that big!

Yes, you are,
skipper!

I am not, gilligan!

Yes, you are,
skipper!
I am not!

Well, girls,
how do they look?

Oh, we never
could have
done them

ourselves,
professor.

Well, fortunately
I happen to know
a little something

about the construction
of mannequins.

Ginger, don't you think
I look better

in my red gingham dress?

Definitely.

Brighter colors
are much better
at night.

Girls, that's
not important.

Well, you know,
and I'd look
much better

in my beaded
beige.

But these are
the clothes
you picked out!

We changed
our minds.

We wouldn't
be caught dead
in these things.

Well, that's
just exactly
what might happen.

Well, professor,
even if
we're dummies,

we have
to look right.

Alright.
Alright!

Professor!

Oh, good heavens.
Forgive me.

Darling, i'm
all out of 100s.

Good. Then use
these 50s, my dear.

50? Oh, dear, no.
Then I'd be lopsided.

I stuffed this sleeve
with 100s.

Oh, I'll give you a check
to make up the difference.

Darling, look.

The others
are headed
for the lagoon.

Well, let's
join them.

Alright. I'll ask
the skipper to carry
the dummies.

The skipper?
Please!

I wouldn't even let
my own mother carry these.

You're right.

♪ aloha-oe ♪

♪ aloha-oe ♪

♪ aloha-oe ♪

oh, gilligan.
That is not necessary.

Now, come on. Let's
go find the others.

There it
goes.

Yeah!

If anything's
going to happen,
it should happen soon.

Yeah!

Shh!

He should be along any minute.

Yeah!

Gilligan,
can't you ever say no?

Yeah!

Doesn't look as though
anything's going to happen.

Yeah! No!

Calling w9.
You there?

I am here.
Go ahead.

We can now
claim island.

Squatters
are dead?

Very dead.

You were right,
professor.

Whoever did this
thinks we are
now dead, right?

Alright,
then we'll be dead!

Oh, no. Not again.
We just got finished

being blown
all to pieces.

We are going
to fight that ghost
on his own grounds.

The cemetery?
Oh, no! Not me.

Oh, no. All
we have to do is
round up 7 sheets.

Alright,
everybody, let's go.

7 sheets?

Sheets.
Oh, I know what
he's thinking...

Other powers
must now deal with us

for offshore oil rights.
You come?

I will get the boat
started at once.

Now, you all know
what to do.

Scatter, and move in and out
and around the huts.

Alright?

Move out.

Aah! The ghost
got me!

Gilligan, it's me,
the professor.
Oh.

Now, come on.
Get a move on.

Ooooooh!

Alright.
I wait until tomorrow.

By then,
engine will be fixed
and I come after you.

You have place to sleep?

I sleep in huts.
Corpses cold,
but bed still warm.

Wait.

I hear something.

What you hear?

A feetstep.

A feetstep?

Others all dead.
Must be new intruder
on island.

I scare him away, too.

I don't see anything.
Do you?

No. You know
why you don't?

No. Why?

Because
you got a sheet
over your head.

There goes
one of us.

Gilligan, it's the--
it's the g-g-gh-gh--

ghost.
Gh--ghost!

Ghost!

W9, listen, quick!

I listen.

This island...

She's crazy!

P-Pick me up.
Hurry!

Look,
everybody! There he is.

Oh, never mind.
I pick you up!

Get him! Quick!

Hi, skipper. Guess what
I found down at the lagoon.

What, gilligan?

Some of our clothes
from the dummies.

Oh, fine.
Just leave them
there on the table.

I'll have Mary Ann
rinse the salt water
out of them

after I finish this.

Okay.

Oh, boy! Am I going
to sleep tonight

now that our friend
the ghost is gone.

Me, too. Things were getting
pretty spooky around here.

Skipper?
Yes?

Skipper!

Your shirt.
It's haunted!

The ghost
haunted
your shirt!

Gilligan, little buddy,
you're too much.

♪ now this is a tale
of our castaways ♪

♪ they're here
for a long, long time ♪

♪ they'll have to make
the best of things ♪

♪ it's an uphill climb ♪

♪ the first mate
and his skipper, too ♪

♪ will do their very best ♪

♪ to make the others
comfortable ♪

♪ in their tropic island nest ♪

♪ no phone, no light ♪

♪ no motor cars,
not a single luxury ♪

♪ like Robinson crusoe ♪

♪ it's primitive as can be ♪

♪ so join us here
each week, my friends ♪

♪ you're sure to get a smile ♪

♪ from 7 stranded castaways ♪

♪ here on gilligan's isle ♪