Gilligan's Island (1964–1992): Season 2, Episode 10 - Hi Fi Gilligan - full transcript
While the castaways take precautions against a coming typhoon, an accidental blow to the head causes Gilligan's mouth to act as a radio receiver.
♪ just sit right back
and you'll hear a tale ♪
♪ a tale of a fateful trip ♪
♪ that started from
this tropic port ♪
♪ aboard this tiny ship ♪
♪ the mate was
a mighty sailin' man ♪
♪ the skipper brave and sure ♪
♪ five passengers
set sail that day ♪
♪ for a three-hour tour ♪
♪ a three-hour tour ♪
[thunder]
♪ the weather
started getting rough ♪
♪ the tiny ship was tossed ♪
♪ if not for the courage
of the fearless crew ♪
♪ the minnow would be lost ♪
♪ the minnow would be lost ♪
♪ the ship set ground
on the shore of this
uncharted desert isle ♪
♪ with gilligan ♪
♪ the skipper, too ♪
♪ the millionaire ♪
♪ and his wife ♪
♪ the movie star ♪
♪ the professor
and Mary Ann ♪
♪ here on gilligan's isle ♪
When, skipper,
today? Tomorrow?
The next day?
I don't know,
gilligan.
Guess.
Gilligan,
I don't know when
the typhoon will hit.
I guess Wednesday.
Yeah. The typhoon
will hit the island
Wednesday.
Alright, Wednesday.
Come on!
What makes you think
the typhoon will hit
on Wednesday?
Because bad things
happen on Wednesday.
Bad things don't happen
on just Wednesday.
That's ridiculous.
No, it isn't.
It was on a Wednesday
that fatso Flanagan
tore his pants.
And it was on a Wednesday
that skinny mulligan
got expelled for giving
the teacher an apple.
You don't get expelled
or suspended for giving
a teacher an apple.
With a worm in it?
Never mind. Here,
get this fruit
off my shoulder.
Well, get it
in the cave.
And it was on
a Wednesday that
Bobby mcguire--
gilligan, I am
not interested.
We've gotta get these
supplies in the cave
before the typhoon hits.
When do you think
it'll hit, tonight?
Tomorrow? The next day?
I told you,
I don't know!
Maybe next Monday.
Never mind, gilligan!
Just pile the crates!
[Bonk]
Ow!
Buddy, are you alright?
Well, then come on out.
I'll come in
and get you.
I'm sorry, little buddy.
It was strictly
an accident.
I didn't hurt you
too bad, did I?
Try moving your jaw
back and forth.
Good. Now try
opening your mouth.
[Orchestra playing]
[Music stops]
[Orchestra playing]
[Music stops]
Guh...uh...
[Music starts and stops
when mouth opens and closes]
Professor, I don't see
how a smack in the jaw
could turn him
into a radio.
He's not a radio,
skipper.
He's merely
a simple form
of receiver.
The high-frequency
sound waves
are emanating
from the molar
which is pushed
against--
oh, never mind all
the technicalities.
The thing I'm getting
at is I've been belted
many times before,
but the only thing that
ever came out of my mouth
was a loose tooth.
From what I've
been able to see,
one of gilligan's molars
has been jolted out
of position
and shoved against a tooth
with a silver filling.
Open, gilligan.
Radio: This is
station kalu, Honolulu,
the voice of pineapp--
close. It's not too unusual
a situation. It's happened
a number of times.
Yes, but not
to gilligan.
The atmospheric conditions,
the metal in his mouth,
the shape of his skull
have all combined
to make him a receiver.
Is there any chance,
instead of being
a receiver,
could we make him
a sender so we could get
a message to Hawaii?
No, I'm afraid not,
skipper.
And unless I
miss my guess,
the position of his head
and body will bring in
different stations.
Watch. Open up,
gilligan.
[Radio stations play]
Well,
I'll be darned.
Gilligan, your tooth
may go back into position
by itself,
or perhaps I'll have to find
a non-conductive substance
to coat it with.
Or maybe
I'll pull
the tooth.
Well, you make
the decision.
I have to keep checking
these weather
reports.
What's the latest
on the typhoon?
Still headed
this way.
Radio: Which is bearing down
on the southwest pacific
area is--
[rock music from gilligan]
Gilligan,
would you close
your mouth?
Radio: And there will be
hourly reports
from this station.
You are going
to have to stay away
from this
transistor radio,
gilligan.
The signals you're
emitting
are loud enough
to cause
interference.
I'll take him over
and show the girls.
Wouldn't it be wonderful
if our little buddy
could be turned into
a color TV?
[Music from gilligan]
Radio: And now, ladies,
for our last exercise,
stretch back the arms.
Come on. Stretch!
Stretch!
Then the papa bear
said to the baby bear...
Gilligan, stay
in one position!
And that's it for today
from Stan the exercise man.
Oh, well.
Thanks, gilligan,
anyway.
We appreciate it.
Are you alright?
[Radio tuning]
Yeah, my jaw aches.
It's kind of to find
a position where
there's no station.
Oh, you just
stay still
and rest a while.
And don't do anything
to tire yourself.
Oh, gosh no.
We want you to rest up
for my favorite soap opera,
Blaze of noon.
Oh, you're not
going to waste him
on that, are you?
Waste him?
Why, today we find out
if Sarah goes
to the electric chair,
if John needs
an operation,
and if penny really is
her mother-in-law's daughter.
I don't care if she's
her mother-in-law's
father.
I want to hear
the academy awards.
[Tuning stations]
Then the papa bear said to
the baby bear,
"whose been eating
my porridge?"
And then the mama bear said,
"whose been sleeping
in my bed?"
And the baby bear said...
Amazing.
There must be a way
I can make money
from that boy's teeth.
This could be bigger
than transistor radio.
Molar fm!
Bicuspid shortwave.
Yes, if there's just a way
I can put it into market.
Take the teeth maybe
and box them--
thurston...
Never mind, dear.
I'm trying to figure out
how to make a buck
from teeth.
A buck from buck teeth!
That's very funny.
I'm sorry, dear.
I can't laugh.
I'm so miserable.
The professor
won't let me listen
to the radio.
Well,
I'm terribly sorry,
darling,
but I'm on the trail
of something
very, very important.
But the professor's
wasting his time
on a tycoon.
No, dear. That's a typhoon.
You see, a tycoon,
that's a man with money,
like myself.
A typhoon is
a big bag of wind.
Thurston...
Never mind
what you're thinking.
No comment.
But it's
my favorite program,
the fashion news!
But the professor's
tracking a storm.
It's terribly important.
Well, so is
the fashion news.
And today they're deciding
on the 10 best-dressed women.
Oh, I just can't miss that!
No, no.
Heaven forbid.
You shouldn't.
Oh, then you will
get me the radio.
I'll do better than
get you a radio.
I'll get you
a radio station.
Oh, darling,
you're always
so generous.
All we need is gilligan.
Gilligan?
Where's gilligan?
Well, you don't have
to look for gilligan.
All you have to do
is listen for gilligan.
Radio: Repeat.
135 west longitude.
30 degrees
south latitude.
Moving at
7 miles per hour.
Stay tuned for
complete coverage
of the typhoon
in one hour.
Better conserve
the radio, skipper.
Check, professor.
How does
it look to you?
I'm afraid it's shifting
directly toward us.
Well, which side
of the island do you
think it will hit first?
It's too early to tell.
The crucial time should
be tomorrow afternoon.
You want me to spell you?
No, you better
get some sleep.
Alright. I'll take over
first thing in the morning.
Radio: 30 degrees...
[Dance music from gilligan]
[Music stops]
[Music resumes]
[Music stops]
[Music resumes]
Gilligan!
Little buddy!
You'll have to
find yourself
someplace
else to sleep!
I've been lying
down there for 2 hours!
And I hate to do this
to you, little buddy,
but I'm dead tired!
Now go!
[Music resumes]
[Music stops]
Go!
Radio: 40 degrees
north longitude.
Repeat. The typhoon
took a severe easterly turn
an hour ago,
and has veered toward
some uninhabited islands
southwest of Hawaii.
Mouth radio: And now
madame legault sings
the kindakinder
Aria from the opera
fliedenstrausen.
[Feedback
and opera singing]
[Glass shatters]
[Music stops]
Gilligan!
You are
jamming the radio.
Don't you understand?
Well, maybe you'd better
go back in the hut.
[Music resumes
then stops]
I see, you're keeping
the skipper awake.
Well, listen,
I've gotta listen
to the storm warning,
so you've got to find
someplace else to sleep.
[Music resumes]
[Music stops]
[Opera music]
Gilligan, my boy,
people are sleeping!
[Music stops]
Opera at this
time of the night!
I mean, really!
[Opera music]
Both: Gilligan!
Oh, quiet!
We can't
even sleep!
Come on, now--
[opera music]
[Music stops]
Shh!
Go back to bed!
Radio: The typhoon
has now crossed
the tropic of cancer.
And has veered toward
some uninhabited islands
southwest of Hawaii.
Gilligan...
[Yawn, opera music]
[Music and weather report stop]
Gilligan!
Gilligan!
Gilligan,
are you alright?
Yeah, I'm ok, professor.
You've gotta
be more careful.
You can't--
gilligan,
you're cured!
Huh? Yeah,
I'm not a radio anymore!
Well, congratulations.
Oh...but unfortunately,
the radio isn't a radio
anymore, either.
Well, good. We needed some
peace and quiet around here.
But I can't
track the typhoon!
Oh, I didn't think of that.
Well, maybe it's
not coming this way.
[Thunder, wind]
Is it a big storm,
professor?
You remember the storm
that shipwrecked us?
Yeah, that was
the worst one ever.
Well, this typhoon
will make that look
like a spring shower.
It could destroy
every living thing
on the island.
Every living thing?
You mean,
like, plants?
Mm-hmm.
Animals?
Yes.
And people?
Yes.
Well, I'm sorry,
but I just can't fix it.
Well, let's
not admit defeat.
Have another go
at it, professor!
Maybe you could
drop that in there
and give it a--
it is no use, Mr. Howell!
Without those
weather reports,
we're in real trouble.
Yes,
and from the look
of those clouds,
I think
that typhoon's
gonna hit us
about sundown
tomorrow.
And hit hard!
We'd better
head for the cave!
Captain, order
"abandon island."
Look, Mr. Howell,
let's concentrate
on the radio, huh?
Well, gilligan broke it.
Let him fix it.
Gilligan is hardly
an electronic wizard.
Oh, is that so?
Can you turn yourself
into a radio?
Gilligan had
nothing to do with it.
2 of his teeth
jammed against each other.
It's as simple as that.
Yeah, and it's all
because I accidentally
belted him one.
That's right,
and when he hit the table,
it jammed it back
into its normal position.
Well, if we hit him again,
do you think he would
turn into a radio ?
Skipper:
Mr. Howell!
Now, wait a minute!
It's only a soft rock.
Drop that rock.
Well, a little mayhem
may save us all!
Mr. Howell,
you can't expect
a man to stand still
while you belt him
with a rock.
Well, I don't
expect him to stand--
certainly not!
Well, that's better.
Of course. What you do is
you sneak up on him.
Then you hit him!
Mr. Howell,
will you stop that!
A rock,
for heaven's sake.
Hi, skipper.
Any luck with the radio?
Nope.
There's a piece of copper wiring
around here somewhere.
Maybe that'll help.
I did it again. I
didn't mean to bust the radio
and unbust me, but I did.
Well, it was
just an accident.
Yeah. Skipper, if I was
a radio, we wouldn't
be in such trouble.
So?
I want to be
a radio again.
Well, gilligan,
it's not all
that easy to do.
Sure it is.
I want you
to hit me in the mouth
as hard as you can.
You what?
I'm sorry, I can't say
it again. I'm chicken.
Say what?
Hit me in the mouth
as hard as you can.
Gilligan, little buddy,
that's the most
noble sacrifice
anyone has ever made.
Well, I haven't
made it yet.
In fact, I think
the chicken in me
is coming out.
[Imitates chicken]
Let's go outside.
Mary Ann, guess what
gilligan's gonna let me do.
What?
He's gonna let me
belt him in the mouth again
so he can
turn into a radio!
Oh, such heroism
shouldn't go unrewarded.
Oh, but I can't watch.
Oh, ginger!
Right up
against this tree.
But, i--i...
Now--
gilligan, Mary Ann just
told me! You're going
to save our lives!
Yeah, I'm gonna get busted
right in the mouth.
I just always knew
you had your heart
in the right place.
Take a look at my teeth.
It's the last time
they'll be in right.
Guess she can't
stand the sight
of blood, either.
Blood?
One moment,
captain!
Oh, please, Mrs. Howell,
no more argument now.
We've made up our minds.
Oh, I wasn't
going to argue.
I just want to
remember him
as he was.
Belt him good,
captain.
Yes, Mrs. Howell.
Are you ready,
little buddy?
Ready.
I'm not.
Sure you are!
No, I'm not,
gilligan.
The sun
is in my eyes.
It's not
in your eyes.
It's in my eyes.
Well, maybe
that's an idea.
Why don't you
close your eyes?
Ok, skipper.
Hey, skipper?
Yes, gilligan?
Where are you going?
I was just going
to wash my hands.
No, you weren't.
You're afraid
to hit me because
I might hit you back.
Right, fatso?
Just a minute,
gilligan!
That's nothing but muscle,
and I don't want
you to ever forget it!
It's all fat, fatso!
Go ahead! Go ahead!
Oh, little buddy,
I see exactly what
you're trying to do.
Thank you, thank you.
But we've got to
go through with this now.
Alright, line up.
And close your eyes.
Sure, skipper.
Wait a minute!
Wait a minute!
If it's a clean blow,
I'll reward you both
ears and a tail!
Thanks, Mr. Howell.
Both and a what?
Ole!
No, it's "timber"!
I invented it
myself, lovey.
It's devilishly clever.
But it's very simple.
You see, now when
I shout to gilligan,
he opens the door.
This brings this hand
that holds his pointed
little head,
releasing that
heavy bag of coins.
Zing! Zow!
And he is a radio again!
Oh, that's
ingenious of you, darling!
Well, I always say, if
you want something done,
you've got
to do it yourself!
Is that true, thurston?
I don't know.
That's the first thing
I've ever done.
Oh, I'm so
proud of you, dear.
Stand aside.
There is an element
of danger.
I'll call
the little nitwit.
Gilligan! Gilligan,
come in here!
I'm kinda busy,
Mr. Howell.
When I give
an order, men jump!
Gross insub--
gilligan!
Gilligan!
Gilligan!
Radio: In a moment,
the latest on the typhoon.
The typhoon took
a severe easterly turn
an hour ago.
Radio:
Creating terrible...
What'd you
say, gilligan?
It is now
heading due east,
moving at
7 miles per hour.
Gilligan's tooth!
He's a radio again!
You did it, little buddy!
How'd you do it?
Never mind that now!
The typhoon is
headed straight for us!
Well, what
should we do?
Well, let's
head for the cave.
Well, I'll
get lovey!
I'll get
the girls!
Alright,
now women first.
Yes, yes,
women first!
I said, women first!
Well, you
can't expect ladies
to go into
a dangerous cave
without a man
to Blaze a trail!
Mr. Howell, there
is nothing in there
but supplies.
Exactly.
Now, come on, girls.
Watch it, lovey,
at all times.
Alright, professor,
you next!
No, but I have
a reserved seat!
Alright,
Mr. Howell,
you go first.
I'll go first.
That's right.
Watch it, lovey.
I'm coming
through, dear.
Come on, gilligan!
Uh, step to the rear
of the bus, please, lovey.
Oh.
Oh!
Oh, dear.
Mr. Howell, the 7 of us
will never fit in here.
Well, perhaps
skipper and gilligan
like the fresh air.
We'll just have to take out
some of the supplies.
What if the typhoon
starts?
We still have to
take out the supplies.
Take out
the supplies.
Lovey, would you
give me a hand
with this...
Well, that's
the last of them.
Fine, professor.
Alright, girls,
in the cave.
Quickly.
Move fast.
Mr. Howell, professor,
go on, get in there.
In you go, gilligan.
[Piano concerto]
No back-talk.
Get in the cave.
Ooh!
Yes.
Aah!
Oww!
Ohh!
Skipper:
Can't you get in
any farther?
The girls are squeezed
against the wall now.
Ginger:
I'm as flat
as I can be.
[Piano concerto]
Well, can't you...
Squeeze closer?
Perhaps if we
all inhale.
1, 2, 3.
[All inhale]
It's no use.
We'll have to try
another formation.
Skipper, can you
get out now?
Watch it!
Gilligan, if you
could get off my...
Oh, gilligan!
Now, don't bruise
Mrs. Howell.
I mean, after all...
[Grunting]
That's really
a tight squeeze
in there, isn't it?
It's just
not big enough
for all of us.
If I went in first,
then you, professor,
then you, captain--
Mr. Howell, that cave
is just not big enough
for 7 people.
Well, perhaps
a crash diet--
high proteins,
no bread,
potatoes...
One of us will is going to
have to stay outside
and take his chances.
[Thunder]
Out here?
As the only married man,
I'd like to say something.
I'd like to say that
I'm the only married man.
As skipper around here,
I'm ordering everyone
back in the cave.
I shall stay out here.
We haven't got time
to decide who's
the most necessary
or most heroic.
I gave an order!
And I'm willing
to obey that order!
Alright, we'll
draw straws.
[Thunder]
The typhoon is
almost upon us.
Must we make
a decision
immediately?
Yes, Mr. Howell, we must
make an immediate decision.
I know, but back home,
we usually have
a board of directors.
Then we vote, then we
all go to the country.
And then sometimes,
the proxies defer.
In that case, in a tie,
lovey and I...
Oh, by George!
You're the lucky one!
The short one!
Ok, Mr. Howell,
back in the cave.
Professor.
[Thunder]
Little buddy,
you've hardly got
any ballast.
Hang on, now,
and hang on real tight.
[Rock 'n' roll playing]
Good luck.
[Thunder]
Thurston, you were
so brave to draw straws
with the rest of them.
You should've seen me.
I pushed them all aside
and demanded to draw first.
Ah. We'll keep
this straw,
and put it in
our family
scrapbook.
After we have
it gold-plated,
of course.
It shall always be
a treasured memento.
Wait a minute.
Hold that straw up.
That's the short straw.
Gilligan's was
shorter than mine.
Everybody hold
their positions here.
I'm going back out.
[Thunder]
Gilligan,
little buddy...
You had
a long straw...
And you broke it
in half. Why?
We were all on
the up-and-up.
We were all taking
the same chance.
[Rock 'n' roll playing]
[Thunder]
Ok, I understand.
I'm the skipper,
right?
The professor?
Well, the professor's
important to us, too.
And Mr. Howell--
I know. He's married.
But what about you?
You're important, too.
Oh, come on. Look
at all the important
things you do.
Well, once in a while,
we get into trouble,
and you get us
into more trouble.
No, gilligan,
I know exactly what
you're trying to do,
but you know why
I'm out here?
I'm gonna hang onto
you, little buddy,
when that
typhoon hits.
[Thunder]
Isn't there any way
all 7 of us
can fit in here?
Well, just
so many sardines
will fit in a can.
Where are
you going?
I, um...I have
claustrophobia.
Heavens, I hope
it isn't catching.
Funny he should
suddenly remember that.
Yes.
Professor, I order
you back in the cave!
After the storm.
Look, I'm out here.
I'll take care
of gilligan.
I know you can,
so I'll take care
of you!
[Thunder]
Well, ladies,
if you'll forgive me.
Oh, thurston!
I must, my dear.
Oh...
Ohh!
[Thunder]
Mr. Howell!
I just stepped out
for a breath of
fresh air.
Mr. Howell,
why don't you go back in
and calm the women?
That's an interesting
experiment.
We must explore it
sometime, professor.
Thurston.
Oh! Oh, my dear!
Lovey, a storm
is about to hit!
I know, thurston.
But it's a typhoon!
I know, thurston!
And you'll
be killed!
You mean,
we will!
Really,
Mrs. Howell!
Oh, this
is ridiculous!
That's what
I told ginger!
It's kind of windy,
isn't it?
Listen, if we're
all going to stay
out here,
let's see if we
can find ourselves
some protection.
The crates!
We'll use
the crates!
Ok! That's it!
The crates!
[Thunder]
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Professor: It's
completely destroyed!
Little buddy,
we came out
to save you,
and you saved us!
That electrical storm
certainly broke up
the typhoon.
And fixed my tooth.
Wouldn't Benjamin Franklin
have been interested
had he been here?
Who?
Benjamin Franklin.
I don't remember
anybody by that name
sailing on the minnow.
He experimented
with electricity
150 years ago.
Oh. Lucky thing
he wasn't here with us.
Huh?
An old man like that
could've never lasted
through the storm.
Benjamin Franklin
was...
Unless he worked out
with dumbbells
and took vitamin pills
and things like that.
Gilligan,
Benjamin Franklin
is dead.
Exactly.
He's dead?!
I didn't even know
he was sick.
Oh, what's the use,
professor?
Will you start
cleaning up
the beach?!
♪ they're here for
a long, long time ♪
♪ they'll have to make
the best of things ♪
♪ it's an uphill climb ♪
♪ the first mate
and his skipper, too ♪
♪ will do their very best ♪
♪ to make the others
comfortable ♪
♪ in their tropic island nest ♪
♪ no phone ♪
♪ no light ♪
♪ no motor cars ♪
♪ not a single luxury ♪
♪ like Robinson crusoe ♪
♪ it's primitive as can be ♪
♪ so join us here
each week, my friends ♪
♪ you're sure to get a smile ♪
♪ from seven
stranded castaways ♪
♪ here on gilligan's isle! ♪
and you'll hear a tale ♪
♪ a tale of a fateful trip ♪
♪ that started from
this tropic port ♪
♪ aboard this tiny ship ♪
♪ the mate was
a mighty sailin' man ♪
♪ the skipper brave and sure ♪
♪ five passengers
set sail that day ♪
♪ for a three-hour tour ♪
♪ a three-hour tour ♪
[thunder]
♪ the weather
started getting rough ♪
♪ the tiny ship was tossed ♪
♪ if not for the courage
of the fearless crew ♪
♪ the minnow would be lost ♪
♪ the minnow would be lost ♪
♪ the ship set ground
on the shore of this
uncharted desert isle ♪
♪ with gilligan ♪
♪ the skipper, too ♪
♪ the millionaire ♪
♪ and his wife ♪
♪ the movie star ♪
♪ the professor
and Mary Ann ♪
♪ here on gilligan's isle ♪
When, skipper,
today? Tomorrow?
The next day?
I don't know,
gilligan.
Guess.
Gilligan,
I don't know when
the typhoon will hit.
I guess Wednesday.
Yeah. The typhoon
will hit the island
Wednesday.
Alright, Wednesday.
Come on!
What makes you think
the typhoon will hit
on Wednesday?
Because bad things
happen on Wednesday.
Bad things don't happen
on just Wednesday.
That's ridiculous.
No, it isn't.
It was on a Wednesday
that fatso Flanagan
tore his pants.
And it was on a Wednesday
that skinny mulligan
got expelled for giving
the teacher an apple.
You don't get expelled
or suspended for giving
a teacher an apple.
With a worm in it?
Never mind. Here,
get this fruit
off my shoulder.
Well, get it
in the cave.
And it was on
a Wednesday that
Bobby mcguire--
gilligan, I am
not interested.
We've gotta get these
supplies in the cave
before the typhoon hits.
When do you think
it'll hit, tonight?
Tomorrow? The next day?
I told you,
I don't know!
Maybe next Monday.
Never mind, gilligan!
Just pile the crates!
[Bonk]
Ow!
Buddy, are you alright?
Well, then come on out.
I'll come in
and get you.
I'm sorry, little buddy.
It was strictly
an accident.
I didn't hurt you
too bad, did I?
Try moving your jaw
back and forth.
Good. Now try
opening your mouth.
[Orchestra playing]
[Music stops]
[Orchestra playing]
[Music stops]
Guh...uh...
[Music starts and stops
when mouth opens and closes]
Professor, I don't see
how a smack in the jaw
could turn him
into a radio.
He's not a radio,
skipper.
He's merely
a simple form
of receiver.
The high-frequency
sound waves
are emanating
from the molar
which is pushed
against--
oh, never mind all
the technicalities.
The thing I'm getting
at is I've been belted
many times before,
but the only thing that
ever came out of my mouth
was a loose tooth.
From what I've
been able to see,
one of gilligan's molars
has been jolted out
of position
and shoved against a tooth
with a silver filling.
Open, gilligan.
Radio: This is
station kalu, Honolulu,
the voice of pineapp--
close. It's not too unusual
a situation. It's happened
a number of times.
Yes, but not
to gilligan.
The atmospheric conditions,
the metal in his mouth,
the shape of his skull
have all combined
to make him a receiver.
Is there any chance,
instead of being
a receiver,
could we make him
a sender so we could get
a message to Hawaii?
No, I'm afraid not,
skipper.
And unless I
miss my guess,
the position of his head
and body will bring in
different stations.
Watch. Open up,
gilligan.
[Radio stations play]
Well,
I'll be darned.
Gilligan, your tooth
may go back into position
by itself,
or perhaps I'll have to find
a non-conductive substance
to coat it with.
Or maybe
I'll pull
the tooth.
Well, you make
the decision.
I have to keep checking
these weather
reports.
What's the latest
on the typhoon?
Still headed
this way.
Radio: Which is bearing down
on the southwest pacific
area is--
[rock music from gilligan]
Gilligan,
would you close
your mouth?
Radio: And there will be
hourly reports
from this station.
You are going
to have to stay away
from this
transistor radio,
gilligan.
The signals you're
emitting
are loud enough
to cause
interference.
I'll take him over
and show the girls.
Wouldn't it be wonderful
if our little buddy
could be turned into
a color TV?
[Music from gilligan]
Radio: And now, ladies,
for our last exercise,
stretch back the arms.
Come on. Stretch!
Stretch!
Then the papa bear
said to the baby bear...
Gilligan, stay
in one position!
And that's it for today
from Stan the exercise man.
Oh, well.
Thanks, gilligan,
anyway.
We appreciate it.
Are you alright?
[Radio tuning]
Yeah, my jaw aches.
It's kind of to find
a position where
there's no station.
Oh, you just
stay still
and rest a while.
And don't do anything
to tire yourself.
Oh, gosh no.
We want you to rest up
for my favorite soap opera,
Blaze of noon.
Oh, you're not
going to waste him
on that, are you?
Waste him?
Why, today we find out
if Sarah goes
to the electric chair,
if John needs
an operation,
and if penny really is
her mother-in-law's daughter.
I don't care if she's
her mother-in-law's
father.
I want to hear
the academy awards.
[Tuning stations]
Then the papa bear said to
the baby bear,
"whose been eating
my porridge?"
And then the mama bear said,
"whose been sleeping
in my bed?"
And the baby bear said...
Amazing.
There must be a way
I can make money
from that boy's teeth.
This could be bigger
than transistor radio.
Molar fm!
Bicuspid shortwave.
Yes, if there's just a way
I can put it into market.
Take the teeth maybe
and box them--
thurston...
Never mind, dear.
I'm trying to figure out
how to make a buck
from teeth.
A buck from buck teeth!
That's very funny.
I'm sorry, dear.
I can't laugh.
I'm so miserable.
The professor
won't let me listen
to the radio.
Well,
I'm terribly sorry,
darling,
but I'm on the trail
of something
very, very important.
But the professor's
wasting his time
on a tycoon.
No, dear. That's a typhoon.
You see, a tycoon,
that's a man with money,
like myself.
A typhoon is
a big bag of wind.
Thurston...
Never mind
what you're thinking.
No comment.
But it's
my favorite program,
the fashion news!
But the professor's
tracking a storm.
It's terribly important.
Well, so is
the fashion news.
And today they're deciding
on the 10 best-dressed women.
Oh, I just can't miss that!
No, no.
Heaven forbid.
You shouldn't.
Oh, then you will
get me the radio.
I'll do better than
get you a radio.
I'll get you
a radio station.
Oh, darling,
you're always
so generous.
All we need is gilligan.
Gilligan?
Where's gilligan?
Well, you don't have
to look for gilligan.
All you have to do
is listen for gilligan.
Radio: Repeat.
135 west longitude.
30 degrees
south latitude.
Moving at
7 miles per hour.
Stay tuned for
complete coverage
of the typhoon
in one hour.
Better conserve
the radio, skipper.
Check, professor.
How does
it look to you?
I'm afraid it's shifting
directly toward us.
Well, which side
of the island do you
think it will hit first?
It's too early to tell.
The crucial time should
be tomorrow afternoon.
You want me to spell you?
No, you better
get some sleep.
Alright. I'll take over
first thing in the morning.
Radio: 30 degrees...
[Dance music from gilligan]
[Music stops]
[Music resumes]
[Music stops]
[Music resumes]
Gilligan!
Little buddy!
You'll have to
find yourself
someplace
else to sleep!
I've been lying
down there for 2 hours!
And I hate to do this
to you, little buddy,
but I'm dead tired!
Now go!
[Music resumes]
[Music stops]
Go!
Radio: 40 degrees
north longitude.
Repeat. The typhoon
took a severe easterly turn
an hour ago,
and has veered toward
some uninhabited islands
southwest of Hawaii.
Mouth radio: And now
madame legault sings
the kindakinder
Aria from the opera
fliedenstrausen.
[Feedback
and opera singing]
[Glass shatters]
[Music stops]
Gilligan!
You are
jamming the radio.
Don't you understand?
Well, maybe you'd better
go back in the hut.
[Music resumes
then stops]
I see, you're keeping
the skipper awake.
Well, listen,
I've gotta listen
to the storm warning,
so you've got to find
someplace else to sleep.
[Music resumes]
[Music stops]
[Opera music]
Gilligan, my boy,
people are sleeping!
[Music stops]
Opera at this
time of the night!
I mean, really!
[Opera music]
Both: Gilligan!
Oh, quiet!
We can't
even sleep!
Come on, now--
[opera music]
[Music stops]
Shh!
Go back to bed!
Radio: The typhoon
has now crossed
the tropic of cancer.
And has veered toward
some uninhabited islands
southwest of Hawaii.
Gilligan...
[Yawn, opera music]
[Music and weather report stop]
Gilligan!
Gilligan!
Gilligan,
are you alright?
Yeah, I'm ok, professor.
You've gotta
be more careful.
You can't--
gilligan,
you're cured!
Huh? Yeah,
I'm not a radio anymore!
Well, congratulations.
Oh...but unfortunately,
the radio isn't a radio
anymore, either.
Well, good. We needed some
peace and quiet around here.
But I can't
track the typhoon!
Oh, I didn't think of that.
Well, maybe it's
not coming this way.
[Thunder, wind]
Is it a big storm,
professor?
You remember the storm
that shipwrecked us?
Yeah, that was
the worst one ever.
Well, this typhoon
will make that look
like a spring shower.
It could destroy
every living thing
on the island.
Every living thing?
You mean,
like, plants?
Mm-hmm.
Animals?
Yes.
And people?
Yes.
Well, I'm sorry,
but I just can't fix it.
Well, let's
not admit defeat.
Have another go
at it, professor!
Maybe you could
drop that in there
and give it a--
it is no use, Mr. Howell!
Without those
weather reports,
we're in real trouble.
Yes,
and from the look
of those clouds,
I think
that typhoon's
gonna hit us
about sundown
tomorrow.
And hit hard!
We'd better
head for the cave!
Captain, order
"abandon island."
Look, Mr. Howell,
let's concentrate
on the radio, huh?
Well, gilligan broke it.
Let him fix it.
Gilligan is hardly
an electronic wizard.
Oh, is that so?
Can you turn yourself
into a radio?
Gilligan had
nothing to do with it.
2 of his teeth
jammed against each other.
It's as simple as that.
Yeah, and it's all
because I accidentally
belted him one.
That's right,
and when he hit the table,
it jammed it back
into its normal position.
Well, if we hit him again,
do you think he would
turn into a radio ?
Skipper:
Mr. Howell!
Now, wait a minute!
It's only a soft rock.
Drop that rock.
Well, a little mayhem
may save us all!
Mr. Howell,
you can't expect
a man to stand still
while you belt him
with a rock.
Well, I don't
expect him to stand--
certainly not!
Well, that's better.
Of course. What you do is
you sneak up on him.
Then you hit him!
Mr. Howell,
will you stop that!
A rock,
for heaven's sake.
Hi, skipper.
Any luck with the radio?
Nope.
There's a piece of copper wiring
around here somewhere.
Maybe that'll help.
I did it again. I
didn't mean to bust the radio
and unbust me, but I did.
Well, it was
just an accident.
Yeah. Skipper, if I was
a radio, we wouldn't
be in such trouble.
So?
I want to be
a radio again.
Well, gilligan,
it's not all
that easy to do.
Sure it is.
I want you
to hit me in the mouth
as hard as you can.
You what?
I'm sorry, I can't say
it again. I'm chicken.
Say what?
Hit me in the mouth
as hard as you can.
Gilligan, little buddy,
that's the most
noble sacrifice
anyone has ever made.
Well, I haven't
made it yet.
In fact, I think
the chicken in me
is coming out.
[Imitates chicken]
Let's go outside.
Mary Ann, guess what
gilligan's gonna let me do.
What?
He's gonna let me
belt him in the mouth again
so he can
turn into a radio!
Oh, such heroism
shouldn't go unrewarded.
Oh, but I can't watch.
Oh, ginger!
Right up
against this tree.
But, i--i...
Now--
gilligan, Mary Ann just
told me! You're going
to save our lives!
Yeah, I'm gonna get busted
right in the mouth.
I just always knew
you had your heart
in the right place.
Take a look at my teeth.
It's the last time
they'll be in right.
Guess she can't
stand the sight
of blood, either.
Blood?
One moment,
captain!
Oh, please, Mrs. Howell,
no more argument now.
We've made up our minds.
Oh, I wasn't
going to argue.
I just want to
remember him
as he was.
Belt him good,
captain.
Yes, Mrs. Howell.
Are you ready,
little buddy?
Ready.
I'm not.
Sure you are!
No, I'm not,
gilligan.
The sun
is in my eyes.
It's not
in your eyes.
It's in my eyes.
Well, maybe
that's an idea.
Why don't you
close your eyes?
Ok, skipper.
Hey, skipper?
Yes, gilligan?
Where are you going?
I was just going
to wash my hands.
No, you weren't.
You're afraid
to hit me because
I might hit you back.
Right, fatso?
Just a minute,
gilligan!
That's nothing but muscle,
and I don't want
you to ever forget it!
It's all fat, fatso!
Go ahead! Go ahead!
Oh, little buddy,
I see exactly what
you're trying to do.
Thank you, thank you.
But we've got to
go through with this now.
Alright, line up.
And close your eyes.
Sure, skipper.
Wait a minute!
Wait a minute!
If it's a clean blow,
I'll reward you both
ears and a tail!
Thanks, Mr. Howell.
Both and a what?
Ole!
No, it's "timber"!
I invented it
myself, lovey.
It's devilishly clever.
But it's very simple.
You see, now when
I shout to gilligan,
he opens the door.
This brings this hand
that holds his pointed
little head,
releasing that
heavy bag of coins.
Zing! Zow!
And he is a radio again!
Oh, that's
ingenious of you, darling!
Well, I always say, if
you want something done,
you've got
to do it yourself!
Is that true, thurston?
I don't know.
That's the first thing
I've ever done.
Oh, I'm so
proud of you, dear.
Stand aside.
There is an element
of danger.
I'll call
the little nitwit.
Gilligan! Gilligan,
come in here!
I'm kinda busy,
Mr. Howell.
When I give
an order, men jump!
Gross insub--
gilligan!
Gilligan!
Gilligan!
Radio: In a moment,
the latest on the typhoon.
The typhoon took
a severe easterly turn
an hour ago.
Radio:
Creating terrible...
What'd you
say, gilligan?
It is now
heading due east,
moving at
7 miles per hour.
Gilligan's tooth!
He's a radio again!
You did it, little buddy!
How'd you do it?
Never mind that now!
The typhoon is
headed straight for us!
Well, what
should we do?
Well, let's
head for the cave.
Well, I'll
get lovey!
I'll get
the girls!
Alright,
now women first.
Yes, yes,
women first!
I said, women first!
Well, you
can't expect ladies
to go into
a dangerous cave
without a man
to Blaze a trail!
Mr. Howell, there
is nothing in there
but supplies.
Exactly.
Now, come on, girls.
Watch it, lovey,
at all times.
Alright, professor,
you next!
No, but I have
a reserved seat!
Alright,
Mr. Howell,
you go first.
I'll go first.
That's right.
Watch it, lovey.
I'm coming
through, dear.
Come on, gilligan!
Uh, step to the rear
of the bus, please, lovey.
Oh.
Oh!
Oh, dear.
Mr. Howell, the 7 of us
will never fit in here.
Well, perhaps
skipper and gilligan
like the fresh air.
We'll just have to take out
some of the supplies.
What if the typhoon
starts?
We still have to
take out the supplies.
Take out
the supplies.
Lovey, would you
give me a hand
with this...
Well, that's
the last of them.
Fine, professor.
Alright, girls,
in the cave.
Quickly.
Move fast.
Mr. Howell, professor,
go on, get in there.
In you go, gilligan.
[Piano concerto]
No back-talk.
Get in the cave.
Ooh!
Yes.
Aah!
Oww!
Ohh!
Skipper:
Can't you get in
any farther?
The girls are squeezed
against the wall now.
Ginger:
I'm as flat
as I can be.
[Piano concerto]
Well, can't you...
Squeeze closer?
Perhaps if we
all inhale.
1, 2, 3.
[All inhale]
It's no use.
We'll have to try
another formation.
Skipper, can you
get out now?
Watch it!
Gilligan, if you
could get off my...
Oh, gilligan!
Now, don't bruise
Mrs. Howell.
I mean, after all...
[Grunting]
That's really
a tight squeeze
in there, isn't it?
It's just
not big enough
for all of us.
If I went in first,
then you, professor,
then you, captain--
Mr. Howell, that cave
is just not big enough
for 7 people.
Well, perhaps
a crash diet--
high proteins,
no bread,
potatoes...
One of us will is going to
have to stay outside
and take his chances.
[Thunder]
Out here?
As the only married man,
I'd like to say something.
I'd like to say that
I'm the only married man.
As skipper around here,
I'm ordering everyone
back in the cave.
I shall stay out here.
We haven't got time
to decide who's
the most necessary
or most heroic.
I gave an order!
And I'm willing
to obey that order!
Alright, we'll
draw straws.
[Thunder]
The typhoon is
almost upon us.
Must we make
a decision
immediately?
Yes, Mr. Howell, we must
make an immediate decision.
I know, but back home,
we usually have
a board of directors.
Then we vote, then we
all go to the country.
And then sometimes,
the proxies defer.
In that case, in a tie,
lovey and I...
Oh, by George!
You're the lucky one!
The short one!
Ok, Mr. Howell,
back in the cave.
Professor.
[Thunder]
Little buddy,
you've hardly got
any ballast.
Hang on, now,
and hang on real tight.
[Rock 'n' roll playing]
Good luck.
[Thunder]
Thurston, you were
so brave to draw straws
with the rest of them.
You should've seen me.
I pushed them all aside
and demanded to draw first.
Ah. We'll keep
this straw,
and put it in
our family
scrapbook.
After we have
it gold-plated,
of course.
It shall always be
a treasured memento.
Wait a minute.
Hold that straw up.
That's the short straw.
Gilligan's was
shorter than mine.
Everybody hold
their positions here.
I'm going back out.
[Thunder]
Gilligan,
little buddy...
You had
a long straw...
And you broke it
in half. Why?
We were all on
the up-and-up.
We were all taking
the same chance.
[Rock 'n' roll playing]
[Thunder]
Ok, I understand.
I'm the skipper,
right?
The professor?
Well, the professor's
important to us, too.
And Mr. Howell--
I know. He's married.
But what about you?
You're important, too.
Oh, come on. Look
at all the important
things you do.
Well, once in a while,
we get into trouble,
and you get us
into more trouble.
No, gilligan,
I know exactly what
you're trying to do,
but you know why
I'm out here?
I'm gonna hang onto
you, little buddy,
when that
typhoon hits.
[Thunder]
Isn't there any way
all 7 of us
can fit in here?
Well, just
so many sardines
will fit in a can.
Where are
you going?
I, um...I have
claustrophobia.
Heavens, I hope
it isn't catching.
Funny he should
suddenly remember that.
Yes.
Professor, I order
you back in the cave!
After the storm.
Look, I'm out here.
I'll take care
of gilligan.
I know you can,
so I'll take care
of you!
[Thunder]
Well, ladies,
if you'll forgive me.
Oh, thurston!
I must, my dear.
Oh...
Ohh!
[Thunder]
Mr. Howell!
I just stepped out
for a breath of
fresh air.
Mr. Howell,
why don't you go back in
and calm the women?
That's an interesting
experiment.
We must explore it
sometime, professor.
Thurston.
Oh! Oh, my dear!
Lovey, a storm
is about to hit!
I know, thurston.
But it's a typhoon!
I know, thurston!
And you'll
be killed!
You mean,
we will!
Really,
Mrs. Howell!
Oh, this
is ridiculous!
That's what
I told ginger!
It's kind of windy,
isn't it?
Listen, if we're
all going to stay
out here,
let's see if we
can find ourselves
some protection.
The crates!
We'll use
the crates!
Ok! That's it!
The crates!
[Thunder]
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Professor: It's
completely destroyed!
Little buddy,
we came out
to save you,
and you saved us!
That electrical storm
certainly broke up
the typhoon.
And fixed my tooth.
Wouldn't Benjamin Franklin
have been interested
had he been here?
Who?
Benjamin Franklin.
I don't remember
anybody by that name
sailing on the minnow.
He experimented
with electricity
150 years ago.
Oh. Lucky thing
he wasn't here with us.
Huh?
An old man like that
could've never lasted
through the storm.
Benjamin Franklin
was...
Unless he worked out
with dumbbells
and took vitamin pills
and things like that.
Gilligan,
Benjamin Franklin
is dead.
Exactly.
He's dead?!
I didn't even know
he was sick.
Oh, what's the use,
professor?
Will you start
cleaning up
the beach?!
♪ they're here for
a long, long time ♪
♪ they'll have to make
the best of things ♪
♪ it's an uphill climb ♪
♪ the first mate
and his skipper, too ♪
♪ will do their very best ♪
♪ to make the others
comfortable ♪
♪ in their tropic island nest ♪
♪ no phone ♪
♪ no light ♪
♪ no motor cars ♪
♪ not a single luxury ♪
♪ like Robinson crusoe ♪
♪ it's primitive as can be ♪
♪ so join us here
each week, my friends ♪
♪ you're sure to get a smile ♪
♪ from seven
stranded castaways ♪
♪ here on gilligan's isle! ♪