Ghost Ghirls (2013): Season 1, Episode 8 - School Spirit - full transcript
Mikey, you're up.
Wyatt Earp, American
hero, by Mikey [INAUDIBLE].
Wyatt Earp was a policeman, a US
Marshall, even a saloon keeper.
But it was a 30 second
gunfight at the OK Corral
that made him really famous.
GHOST: Give me your [INAUDIBLE].
[GHOSTLY TAUNTING]
Wyatt Earp, born in
1848, would become the best
gunslinger in the west.
GHOST: Wedgie time.
- Ah!
Ow!
Ah!
[THEME SONG]
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
And your celebrity
look alike is--
Orlando Bloom.
Oh, he's got a beautiful face.
Are you the Ghost Girls?
What's it to you, pipsqueak?
Hey, little guy.
Come on in.
We are.
Can we help you?
I hope so.
I have a bully.
A ghost bully.
He wedgied me yesterday
in front of everyone!
- Heidi--
- Sorry.
[INAUDIBLE].
Heidi.
Heidi!
Bullying is really serious, OK?
Why is he bullying you?
He's been at this school for
as long as anyone can remember.
He's been haunting
Clementine Middle
School since he died drinking
spoiled milk back in the '50s.
I loved the middle school.
I hated middle school.
You hate everything.
And-- no--
I did not hate News Radio.
The first two years.
Well-- no one did.
Today's the big talent
show and I can't have
him screwing up my big routine.
I can make it worth your while.
Whoa.
Oh wow, cool ceramic pig.
We'll definitely do it.
Oh my gosh!
I really wanted that pig.
[SCHOOL BELL RINGING]
He could strike any time.
He gives me wet
willies at recess.
Makes fart noises
whenever I sit down.
Last week, I was
dissecting a frog.
He took it and put it down
Sarah Geisman's shirt.
OK.
I just don't understand why
if it only hurts his feelings
and everyone else loves it--
what's the problem?
Oh my god, what's
wrong with your hair?
Uh, nothing.
No, my hair is perfect
and that's a fact.
Not you.
Your friend.
It's guh-ross.
It is guh-ross, Angelica.
No it's not.
I didn't do anything
with it today.
Usually, It's fine.
I thought you were
a boy for a minute.
Oh my gosh, so did I
when I first met her.
Angelica, you really
look like a boy.
Stop it!
You're hurting me feelings!
Oh, I'm sorry!
I didn't know rats had feelings.
Stop!
Heidi, stop!
I'll stop if you
get in this locker!
Stop!
Heidi, stop!
She can't even fit, you guys!
She's so fat.
OK girls, where
are we doing lunch?
Why would we have
lunch with you, old lady?
I bet her old teeth
don't work anymore
and she needs someone to
chew her food for her.
Do you need someone to
chew your food for you
and puke it in your mouth?
- I already puked!
[HEIDI WAILS]
Don't touch me, butt face!
Oh my gosh.
It feels really good.
Like I have this power.
[GHOSTLY LAUGHING]
Umm, I think he's here.
Well if it ain't, Mikey.
Mikey, the little snot eater.
Whoa, whoa, whoa--
not so fast, Chubbs.
What'd you call me?
I called you Chubbs.
That's short for chubby,
also short for fatso.
This feels awesome.
This is between me and this
little cream sickle over here
you.
You little snot-nosed brat.
You cat-eating, fire
cracker-licking,
peace-loving, jerk-nosed,
weasel-brained fatso.
Never has anyone
talked to me like that.
No, I wasn't talking--
I hope you like
detention because you're
going to be spending the
rest of your life in it.
Do you hear me, young man?
[HEIDI WAILS]
What is this feeling?
What is happening to me?
This is cry?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[HEIDI LAUGHING]
I'm such a terrible,
awful, awful,
beautiful, popular, awful
girl with a beautiful smile.
I had no idea that non-popular
people had feelings.
I have to make a change.
I have to tell people
that bullying is wrong.
I have to stop the bullying.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Nice routine, crab legs.
Where'd you learn that--
your grandmother's bathroom?
How many pieces of
biscuits did you have?
20?
Oh, you guys make me sick
with your fat thighs.
Excuse me?
You heard me, Monster Mash.
Angelica Darlene Byers,
just what do you think you're
doing to these poor girls?
Since when do you care
about anyone but yourself?
Since I have realized
that bullying is wrong
and that it can really
hurt people's feelings.
Actually, I've started
an anti-bullying club.
I made buttons.
Hey, you see him yet?
No, not yet.
Oh hey, Mikey, what is
your routine, anyway?
Oh, you'll see.
You'll all see.
[AUDIENCE APPLAUSE]
And now our next contestant--
Mikey Vagina Face.
Hear that?
Wait, who wrote that.
[GHOSTLY LAUGHING]
- You know what?
You've got your back.
Just go out there and kill them.
[AUDIENCE APPLAUSE]
Oh no.
Oh god.
OK, he's here.
What do we do?
- Hey!
Hey!
[GROSS NOISES]
You!
[GROSS NOISES]
- Sorry.
- It's OK.
It's all right.
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Excuse me, excuse
me, excuse me.
(IN SLOW MOTION) Oh my god.
This one is for Wyatt Earp.
[BLUEGRASS MUSIC PLAYS]
Whoa.
Pretty good.
Where did he even learn
something like that?
You're dead now.
My volcano!
No!
Hey!
What are you doing?
Get off me!
[AUDIENCE APPLAUSE]
Stop!
Don't hurt him!
It's OK, everyone.
Everything's fine.
I'm just talking to a ghost
that us invisible to you.
Yeah, a big dumb bully ghost.
A big horse's ass.
Stop.
Don't you know that
bullying is for fart faces?
Stop.
No, his face is gross.
It looks like his
neck threw up, weirdo.
Go eat a chocolate
bar, freak face.
I'm going to cook you
and eat you like a stew.
Go eat it and
germ, Seabiscuit.
Stop.
Just stop.
Leave him alone.
Why?
Because if I just
let you bully him,
then I'm no better than him.
Don't you get it?
We're the bullies now.
He's right.
I've been such a jerk lately.
And it's all
because I'm jealous.
I have a talent too.
But I can't show it to you.
Oh, you should show it.
I'd like to see.
I mean, kid--
it's a talent show.
Like, are you not
going to show it?
Yeah, come on.
I want to see it.
[SINGING AVE MARIA]
(HICK ACCENT) Hey!
Buster!
What did I tell you?
You best knock off
that girly singing
before I take you out
back behind the shed
and give you a whoopin'.
Oh, is he your son?
More like my daughter.
I think his singing
is really beautiful.
Yeah, and you know what?
A lot of the most
masculine men are
actually really great singers.
I mean, look at Clay Aiken.
Prince.
What?
Prince.
Are you saying a
man can still be a man
and express himself publicly?
Oh no.
I mean, look at you.
You're a boy.
Do you sing?
With all my heart.
[FATHER SINGS AVE MARIA]
Oh wow, looks like
that little prick
just needed to share his
talent and stand up to his dad.
OK.
Well, if the bully is
a bully because he's
bullied by the dad,
who bullied the dad?
You come back here, sonny, and
stop that nonsense right now.
Excuse me sir, there is a
talent show going on right now.
A talent show?
Why didn't you tell me?
I'll show you talent.
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
Wyatt Earp, American
hero, by Mikey [INAUDIBLE].
Wyatt Earp was a policeman, a US
Marshall, even a saloon keeper.
But it was a 30 second
gunfight at the OK Corral
that made him really famous.
GHOST: Give me your [INAUDIBLE].
[GHOSTLY TAUNTING]
Wyatt Earp, born in
1848, would become the best
gunslinger in the west.
GHOST: Wedgie time.
- Ah!
Ow!
Ah!
[THEME SONG]
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
And your celebrity
look alike is--
Orlando Bloom.
Oh, he's got a beautiful face.
Are you the Ghost Girls?
What's it to you, pipsqueak?
Hey, little guy.
Come on in.
We are.
Can we help you?
I hope so.
I have a bully.
A ghost bully.
He wedgied me yesterday
in front of everyone!
- Heidi--
- Sorry.
[INAUDIBLE].
Heidi.
Heidi!
Bullying is really serious, OK?
Why is he bullying you?
He's been at this school for
as long as anyone can remember.
He's been haunting
Clementine Middle
School since he died drinking
spoiled milk back in the '50s.
I loved the middle school.
I hated middle school.
You hate everything.
And-- no--
I did not hate News Radio.
The first two years.
Well-- no one did.
Today's the big talent
show and I can't have
him screwing up my big routine.
I can make it worth your while.
Whoa.
Oh wow, cool ceramic pig.
We'll definitely do it.
Oh my gosh!
I really wanted that pig.
[SCHOOL BELL RINGING]
He could strike any time.
He gives me wet
willies at recess.
Makes fart noises
whenever I sit down.
Last week, I was
dissecting a frog.
He took it and put it down
Sarah Geisman's shirt.
OK.
I just don't understand why
if it only hurts his feelings
and everyone else loves it--
what's the problem?
Oh my god, what's
wrong with your hair?
Uh, nothing.
No, my hair is perfect
and that's a fact.
Not you.
Your friend.
It's guh-ross.
It is guh-ross, Angelica.
No it's not.
I didn't do anything
with it today.
Usually, It's fine.
I thought you were
a boy for a minute.
Oh my gosh, so did I
when I first met her.
Angelica, you really
look like a boy.
Stop it!
You're hurting me feelings!
Oh, I'm sorry!
I didn't know rats had feelings.
Stop!
Heidi, stop!
I'll stop if you
get in this locker!
Stop!
Heidi, stop!
She can't even fit, you guys!
She's so fat.
OK girls, where
are we doing lunch?
Why would we have
lunch with you, old lady?
I bet her old teeth
don't work anymore
and she needs someone to
chew her food for her.
Do you need someone to
chew your food for you
and puke it in your mouth?
- I already puked!
[HEIDI WAILS]
Don't touch me, butt face!
Oh my gosh.
It feels really good.
Like I have this power.
[GHOSTLY LAUGHING]
Umm, I think he's here.
Well if it ain't, Mikey.
Mikey, the little snot eater.
Whoa, whoa, whoa--
not so fast, Chubbs.
What'd you call me?
I called you Chubbs.
That's short for chubby,
also short for fatso.
This feels awesome.
This is between me and this
little cream sickle over here
you.
You little snot-nosed brat.
You cat-eating, fire
cracker-licking,
peace-loving, jerk-nosed,
weasel-brained fatso.
Never has anyone
talked to me like that.
No, I wasn't talking--
I hope you like
detention because you're
going to be spending the
rest of your life in it.
Do you hear me, young man?
[HEIDI WAILS]
What is this feeling?
What is happening to me?
This is cry?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[HEIDI LAUGHING]
I'm such a terrible,
awful, awful,
beautiful, popular, awful
girl with a beautiful smile.
I had no idea that non-popular
people had feelings.
I have to make a change.
I have to tell people
that bullying is wrong.
I have to stop the bullying.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Nice routine, crab legs.
Where'd you learn that--
your grandmother's bathroom?
How many pieces of
biscuits did you have?
20?
Oh, you guys make me sick
with your fat thighs.
Excuse me?
You heard me, Monster Mash.
Angelica Darlene Byers,
just what do you think you're
doing to these poor girls?
Since when do you care
about anyone but yourself?
Since I have realized
that bullying is wrong
and that it can really
hurt people's feelings.
Actually, I've started
an anti-bullying club.
I made buttons.
Hey, you see him yet?
No, not yet.
Oh hey, Mikey, what is
your routine, anyway?
Oh, you'll see.
You'll all see.
[AUDIENCE APPLAUSE]
And now our next contestant--
Mikey Vagina Face.
Hear that?
Wait, who wrote that.
[GHOSTLY LAUGHING]
- You know what?
You've got your back.
Just go out there and kill them.
[AUDIENCE APPLAUSE]
Oh no.
Oh god.
OK, he's here.
What do we do?
- Hey!
Hey!
[GROSS NOISES]
You!
[GROSS NOISES]
- Sorry.
- It's OK.
It's all right.
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Excuse me, excuse
me, excuse me.
(IN SLOW MOTION) Oh my god.
This one is for Wyatt Earp.
[BLUEGRASS MUSIC PLAYS]
Whoa.
Pretty good.
Where did he even learn
something like that?
You're dead now.
My volcano!
No!
Hey!
What are you doing?
Get off me!
[AUDIENCE APPLAUSE]
Stop!
Don't hurt him!
It's OK, everyone.
Everything's fine.
I'm just talking to a ghost
that us invisible to you.
Yeah, a big dumb bully ghost.
A big horse's ass.
Stop.
Don't you know that
bullying is for fart faces?
Stop.
No, his face is gross.
It looks like his
neck threw up, weirdo.
Go eat a chocolate
bar, freak face.
I'm going to cook you
and eat you like a stew.
Go eat it and
germ, Seabiscuit.
Stop.
Just stop.
Leave him alone.
Why?
Because if I just
let you bully him,
then I'm no better than him.
Don't you get it?
We're the bullies now.
He's right.
I've been such a jerk lately.
And it's all
because I'm jealous.
I have a talent too.
But I can't show it to you.
Oh, you should show it.
I'd like to see.
I mean, kid--
it's a talent show.
Like, are you not
going to show it?
Yeah, come on.
I want to see it.
[SINGING AVE MARIA]
(HICK ACCENT) Hey!
Buster!
What did I tell you?
You best knock off
that girly singing
before I take you out
back behind the shed
and give you a whoopin'.
Oh, is he your son?
More like my daughter.
I think his singing
is really beautiful.
Yeah, and you know what?
A lot of the most
masculine men are
actually really great singers.
I mean, look at Clay Aiken.
Prince.
What?
Prince.
Are you saying a
man can still be a man
and express himself publicly?
Oh no.
I mean, look at you.
You're a boy.
Do you sing?
With all my heart.
[FATHER SINGS AVE MARIA]
Oh wow, looks like
that little prick
just needed to share his
talent and stand up to his dad.
OK.
Well, if the bully is
a bully because he's
bullied by the dad,
who bullied the dad?
You come back here, sonny, and
stop that nonsense right now.
Excuse me sir, there is a
talent show going on right now.
A talent show?
Why didn't you tell me?
I'll show you talent.
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.