Futurama (1999–2013): Season 1, Episode 2 - The Series Has Landed - full transcript
For the crew's first mission, they must make a delivery to the moon, which is now home to a cheesy amusement park.
As new employees I'd like your opinion
on our commercial.
I've paid to have it aired
during the Super Bowl.
- Wow.
- Not on the same channel, of course.
Interplanetary
deliveries... What a headache.
Evans, where is that
package from Earth?
Uh...
I'm not Evans!
He should have used
Planet Express.
When those
other companies aren't brave
or foolhardy enough to go...
trust Planet Express
for reliable, on-time delivery.
Here's your package,
Mr. Horrible Gelatinous Blob.
Good work, Evans.
You've got a future
around here.
Thank you, sir.
Planet Express.
Our crew is replaceable...
your package isn't.
Are there really
giant birds like that?
No, no, that was all
just special effects.
Now, let's
have breakfast.
I hope everyone likes eggs.
I'm never going to get used
to the 31 st century.
Caffeinated bacon?
Baconated grapefruit?
Admiral Crunch?
Well, if you don't like that...
try some Archduke Chocula.
Ah, Hermes.
Crew, meet Hermes Conrad.
He manages
my delivery business.
Pays the bills, notifies
next of kin, what have you.
Someone come
and drop this package...
through the slot last night.
Now, which one of you
is the captain?
Oh, my. I haven't picked
a new captain yet.
It's always so hard to choose.
Ooh. Ooh-ooh,
ooh-ooh-ooh.
Mmm... you.
Okay, Captain,
this is just...
a standard legal release...
protecting Planet Express
from lawsuits in the event...
of the unforeseen.
- "Death by airlock failure."
- Mm-hmm.
- "Death by brain parasite."
- Yah.
"Death by sonic diarrhea."
Oh-ho, you don't want that.
Look, I don't know
about your previous captains...
but I intend to do
as little dying as possible.
Sign the paper.
And now, Fry, before
you go into space...
you'll need to see
our staff doctor.
I should warn you, though,
he's a little... unusual.
He wears sandals.
Dr. Zoidberg, this is Fry,
the new delivery boy.
He needs a physical.
Excellent, excellent.
You'll be fine.
Now, open your mouth...
and let's have a look
at that brain.
No, no, no, no, no,
not that mouth.
I only have one.
Really?
Uh... is there
a human doctor around?
Young lady, I'm an
expert on humans.
Pick a mouth,
open it, and say...
What?
My mother was a saint!
Get out.
Dear Lord, Bender,
you're filthy.
Yeah, like you don't
have crap in your neck.
Amy, why don't you
give his body...
a going-over with
the cleaning pick?
Okay.
Does it hurt when
I go like this?
Ow!
A little.
Well, the doctor says
I'm as healthy as a crab.
Can I go into
space now?
As soon as we finish
cleaning Bender.
Oh, and Fry...
This is our intern,
Amy Wong.
She's an engineering
student of mine.
I like having
her around...
because she has the
same blood type as me.
Hey, you're the unfrozen guy
from the 20th century, right?
Last time I checked.
Hang on. Amy Wong,
of the Mars Wongs?
Look, we're not as rich
as everybody says.
Uh-huh. What sorority
do you belong to?
Kappa Kappa Wong.
Hey, rich girl!
Look over here.
It's me, Bender.
I'm being entertaining.
# La-la-la, look at my head #
# It's okay to
look at my head #
# I got a big ol' head #
# And hey! Ho! #
All right, show's over.
I'm tired.
Ah, to be young again...
and also a robot.
Uh! Now, as I recall...
you youngsters have
a package to deliver.
Finally. Come on, Bender.
Let's mosey.
Nice catch, idiot.
So, where are
we going anyway?
Nowhere special...
The Moon.
The Moo... The Moon?
The Moon Moon?
Wow, I'm going to be
a famous hero...
just like Neil Armstrong...
and those other brave guys
no one ever heard of.
Oh! I love stuff
like the Moon.
Can I come, Leela?
Well...
I guess so.
Just be careful.
I'd like to hold off
any major screw-ups...
until at least
my second day as captain.
Nothing will go wrong.
If something goes wrong...
bring back the blood.
Can I do the countdown?
Huh? Oh, sure.
Knock yourself out.
Ten, nine...
Okay, we're here.
Six, five, four,
three, two, one. Blastoff.
Hurry up.
I want to see the Moon.
Relax, it's open till 9:00.
That's one small step
for Fry...
And one giant line
for admission.
Wow.
Um... can I have cuts?
Hmm... mm...
no.
You're not going
to believe this...
but they landed
an amusement park on the Moon.
Guh! It's the happiest place
orbiting Earth.
Let's go already.
Fry, we have a crate to deliver.
Let's just dump it
in the sewer...
and say we
delivered it.
Too much work.
Let's burn it and say...
we dumped it in the sewer.
Okay, if everyone's finished
being stupid...
I had more, but you go ahead.
We'll deliver that crate
like professionals...
and then we'll go home.
But I've never been
to the Moon before.
Oh, all right.
We'll deliver that crate
like professionals...
and then we'll go
ride the bumper cars.
Amy, why don't you help Fry
hoist down the crate?
Then lock up
when you're done.
Just be careful.
Aye, aye, Captain.
I mean, only one eye.
I mean, yes, sir...
Um, ma'am.
- Clear?
- Clear.
Ready to hoist?
Ready.
Ow!
My first space delivery.
Greetings, moon man.
We come in peace.
I am Fry, from the planet Earth.
Wise guy, huh?
If I wasn't so lazy...
I'd punch you in the stomach.
But you are lazy, right?
Oh, don't get me started.
Hi! I'm Craterface.
Welcome to Luna Park.
I'll have to confiscate
your alcohol, sir.
Better mascots
than you have tried.
At least I still have
my self-respect.
Ugh, who buys this trash?
Idiots who need gifts
for other idiots.
Hey, I got you guys
refrigerator magnets.
Get it off. Get it off!
Get it... Uh-oh.
# How many roads
must a man walk down #
# Before you... #
Keep those things off of me.
Magnets screw up
my inhibition unit.
So you flip out and start acting
like some crazy folksinger?
Yes. I guess a robot
would have to be crazy...
to want to be a folksinger.
# We're whalers on the Moon,
we carry a harpoon #
# But there ain't no whales,
so we tell tall tales #
# And sing our whaling tune #
Bender! Hey, Bender!
Over here!
Oh, geez, I went to
high school with that guy.
Monsanto presents...
the Goophy Gopher Revue.
Why does a Moon rock...
taste better
than an Earth rock?
Because it's
a little "meteor."
This is weak.
Address all complaints
to the Monsanto Corporation.
What's wrong, Fry?
I don't know.
This place
is great and all...
but it's just
so artificial.
The gravity, the air,
the gophers.
You might as well stay on Earth.
That's what I came to see.
I want to go out and jump
around like an astronaut.
Screw this phony stuff.
But the phony stuff
is what's fun.
It's boring out there.
Yeah. You're the kind of guy
who visits Jerusalem...
and doesn't want to see
the "Sexiteria."
Maybe I should take Fry
on the Lunar Rover Ride.
You get to wear
a space suit...
and drive around
on the surface...
and the line's short...
because it's educational.
I don't care
how educational it is.
Let's do it!
Next year in Jerusalem!
Two adults, please.
Finally, get ready for
some serious moon action.
The story of lunar exploration...
started with one man...
a man with a dream.
One of these days, Alice...
Bang! Zoom!
Straight to the Moon!
Wow.
I never realized the first
astronauts were so fat.
That's not an astronaut.
It's a TV comedian.
He was just using
space travel...
as a metaphor
for beating his wife.
Wow! I could swear I was
really playing Virtual Skeeball.
- Hmm?
- Look, it's that crate...
we were going to
throw in the sewer.
The keys to the ship!
They must have fallen
into the crate.
Aw, Leela's going
to kill me.
Nah. She'll probably
make me do it.
Mister...
could you please get
those keys out for me?
What do I look like,
a guy who's not lazy?
No one knows where, when or how
man first landed on the Moon.
I do.
But our fungineers think...
it might have happened
something like this.
# We're whalers on the Moon #
# We carry a harpoon #
# But there ain't no whales
so we tell tall tales #
# And sing a whaling tune. #
That's not how
it happened.
Oh, really?
I don't see you with
a fungineering degree.
This is stupid.
I'm taking this thing
out to the real Moon.
Fry, no.
This is my first mission...
and I'm not going to let us
get in any trouble.
Besides, the car's
on a track.
Not for long.
# We're whalers #
Oh! Ow! Ooh!
I died doing what I loved.
Okay, you're
on the surface.
Now, I'll give you
ten minutes.
Then you'll get bored,
turn around...
and apologize
for being such a jerk.
- Agreed?
- Agreed.
Yee-ha!
Whoo!
Yeah! Crank up the radio!
# We're whalers on the... #
Yee-ha!
Time's up.
Make a U-turn
at the next crater.
No, not yet.
How about we go look
for the original Moon landing site?
That's crazy.
It's been lost for centuries.
Well, I'm feeling lucky.
Ooh! Ow! Ooh!
Uh... I'm ready
to go back now.
We're going to die!
It's every man for himself!
Help me, Leela!
Whoo!
You did it.
We're safe.
No. Now we're going to die.
It's every man for himself!
Hey, look what I won
from a tourist's pocket.
Shut up.
You're distracting me.
Come on, it's just
like making love.
You know, left, down,
rotate 62 degrees...
engage rotor.
I know how to make love.
Here, let me do it.
Lousy arm must be rigged.
That's her, Officers.
That's the woman...
who programmed me
for evil.
Yeah, well, I'm going to go
build my own theme park...
with blackjack and hookers.
In fact, forget the park.
I'm sorry, Leela.
I can't go on any further.
Just leave me to die
in that barn over there.
Oh, thank God.
Trespassers, eh?
No, sir. We're
amusement park patrons.
Oh, that's a wicked,
sinful place.
Tilt-a-whirl's okay...
but the rest is mighty wicked.
Our car broke down
and we're out of oxygen.
Can we borrow some?
"Borry?"
Looky here, city girl,
oxygen don't grow on trees.
You'll have to earn it
doing chores...
on my hydroponic farm.
You can go back to your precious
theme park at sunup.
I guess we could do
chores for a few hours.
Fry, night lasts
two weeks on the moon.
Yep. Drops down to minus 173.
Fahrenheit or Celsius?
First one,
than the other.
And them space suits
ain't' a-heated...
so you ain't going
nowhere till sunrise.
You can sleep in the barn.
Just don't be a-touchin'
my three beautiful robot
daughters, you hear?
Robot daughters?
This here's Lulabelle 7...
Yoo-hoo.
Daisy Mae 128-K...
Yoo-hoo.
And the Crushinator.
Yoo-hoo.
Whoo!
I told you to turn around
and go back to the park.
But oh, no.
The park was too phony.
We had to see the real Moon.
And it was great.
We got to see craters and rocks...
and that one incredible rock
that looked like a crater...
and... and... these fellas.
The Moon is a dump.
It's a boring
dried-up wasteland.
And the only reason
anybody ever comes here...
is for the tacky
little amusement park.
Can't you just
accept that?
I guess I can't.
I'll learn you to sleep
with my robot daughters.
He'll never find me in here.
Bender?
Uh, Bender, you didn't touch...
the Crushinator, did you?
Of course not.
A lady that fine
you got to romance first.
Oh, no, you don't.
Come here, Crushinator.
Yes, Pa.
- It's too low.
- Hang on.
Hang on. Jump.
Hold on to your helmet.
Whoa!
- Oh, boy.
- Yes!
Goldurn it,
Crushinator, jump!
No, Pa.
I love him.
Oh!
Hey, cool.
Dark side of the Moon.
Nightfall's coming.
Hurry, before we freeze.
What do you mean we, mammal?
Oh, dear.
I really ought to
do something.
But I am already
in my pajamas.
We can't outrun it forever.
Over there.
Look!
It's the Moon landing site.
We found it.
Quick, get in.
It's that flag from MTV...
and Neil Armstrong's footprint.
Hey, my foot's bigger.
Leela, isn't this the greatest
thing you've ever seen?
Fry, look around.
It's just a crummy
plastic flag...
and a dead man's
tracks in the dust.
Now, get in here before you freeze.
Oh, no room
for Bender, huh?
Fine, I'll go build
my own lunar lander...
with blackjack
and hookers.
In fact, forget the lunar lander
and the blackjack.
Ah, screw the whole thing.
Well, if the oxygen
holds out...
we might live long enough
to starve to death.
Look, Leela, I'm sorry.
I never should have
dragged you out here.
That's right.
You shouldn't have.
I still don't get
what the big attraction is.
Oh... I never told anybody this...
but a thousand years ago,
I used to look up at the Moon...
and dream about
being an astronaut.
I just didn't have the grades
or the physical endurance.
Plus, I threw up a lot...
and nobody likes
spending a week with me.
A week would be a little much.
The Moon was like this awesome,
romantic, mysterious thing...
hanging up there in the sky
where you could never reach it...
no matter
how much you wanted to.
But you're right.
Once you're actually here,
it's just a big dull rock.
I guess I just wanted you
to see it through my eyes...
the way I used to.
Fry, look.
It really is beautiful.
I don't know why
I never noticed before.
Had to come back
for the Crushinator, eh, robot?
Well, I got you this time.
It's Amy.
We're saved.
Amy?
Where'd she learn to operate
the controls like that?
Not the magnet.
No! No! No!
Uh-oh.
# She'll be coming around
the mountain when she comes #
# She'll be coming around
the mountain when she comes #
I'll kill you, Amy.
# She'll be coming
around the mountain #
# She'll be coming around
the mountain, she'll be... #
Ah, dang it.
# She'll be riding six white
horses when she comes #
# She'll be riding six white
horses when she comes #
Hey, I'm pretty good.
# She'll be riding
six white horses #
So, Fry, was the real Moon...
anything like the Moon
you used to dream about?
Uh... close enough.
# Well, I'll shoot her
with my ray-gun when she comes #
# Yes, I'll shoot her
with my ray-gun when she comes #
# Yes, I'll shoot her
with my ray-gun #
# Oh, I'll shoot her
with my ray-gun #
# Yes, I'll shoot her with my ray-gun
when she comes, when she comes #
# I'll be blasting
all the humans in the world #
# I'll be blasting
all the humans in the world #
# I'll be blasting
all the humans #
# I'll be blasting
all the humans #
# I'll be blasting all the humans
in the world, in the world #
One more time!
on our commercial.
I've paid to have it aired
during the Super Bowl.
- Wow.
- Not on the same channel, of course.
Interplanetary
deliveries... What a headache.
Evans, where is that
package from Earth?
Uh...
I'm not Evans!
He should have used
Planet Express.
When those
other companies aren't brave
or foolhardy enough to go...
trust Planet Express
for reliable, on-time delivery.
Here's your package,
Mr. Horrible Gelatinous Blob.
Good work, Evans.
You've got a future
around here.
Thank you, sir.
Planet Express.
Our crew is replaceable...
your package isn't.
Are there really
giant birds like that?
No, no, that was all
just special effects.
Now, let's
have breakfast.
I hope everyone likes eggs.
I'm never going to get used
to the 31 st century.
Caffeinated bacon?
Baconated grapefruit?
Admiral Crunch?
Well, if you don't like that...
try some Archduke Chocula.
Ah, Hermes.
Crew, meet Hermes Conrad.
He manages
my delivery business.
Pays the bills, notifies
next of kin, what have you.
Someone come
and drop this package...
through the slot last night.
Now, which one of you
is the captain?
Oh, my. I haven't picked
a new captain yet.
It's always so hard to choose.
Ooh. Ooh-ooh,
ooh-ooh-ooh.
Mmm... you.
Okay, Captain,
this is just...
a standard legal release...
protecting Planet Express
from lawsuits in the event...
of the unforeseen.
- "Death by airlock failure."
- Mm-hmm.
- "Death by brain parasite."
- Yah.
"Death by sonic diarrhea."
Oh-ho, you don't want that.
Look, I don't know
about your previous captains...
but I intend to do
as little dying as possible.
Sign the paper.
And now, Fry, before
you go into space...
you'll need to see
our staff doctor.
I should warn you, though,
he's a little... unusual.
He wears sandals.
Dr. Zoidberg, this is Fry,
the new delivery boy.
He needs a physical.
Excellent, excellent.
You'll be fine.
Now, open your mouth...
and let's have a look
at that brain.
No, no, no, no, no,
not that mouth.
I only have one.
Really?
Uh... is there
a human doctor around?
Young lady, I'm an
expert on humans.
Pick a mouth,
open it, and say...
What?
My mother was a saint!
Get out.
Dear Lord, Bender,
you're filthy.
Yeah, like you don't
have crap in your neck.
Amy, why don't you
give his body...
a going-over with
the cleaning pick?
Okay.
Does it hurt when
I go like this?
Ow!
A little.
Well, the doctor says
I'm as healthy as a crab.
Can I go into
space now?
As soon as we finish
cleaning Bender.
Oh, and Fry...
This is our intern,
Amy Wong.
She's an engineering
student of mine.
I like having
her around...
because she has the
same blood type as me.
Hey, you're the unfrozen guy
from the 20th century, right?
Last time I checked.
Hang on. Amy Wong,
of the Mars Wongs?
Look, we're not as rich
as everybody says.
Uh-huh. What sorority
do you belong to?
Kappa Kappa Wong.
Hey, rich girl!
Look over here.
It's me, Bender.
I'm being entertaining.
# La-la-la, look at my head #
# It's okay to
look at my head #
# I got a big ol' head #
# And hey! Ho! #
All right, show's over.
I'm tired.
Ah, to be young again...
and also a robot.
Uh! Now, as I recall...
you youngsters have
a package to deliver.
Finally. Come on, Bender.
Let's mosey.
Nice catch, idiot.
So, where are
we going anyway?
Nowhere special...
The Moon.
The Moo... The Moon?
The Moon Moon?
Wow, I'm going to be
a famous hero...
just like Neil Armstrong...
and those other brave guys
no one ever heard of.
Oh! I love stuff
like the Moon.
Can I come, Leela?
Well...
I guess so.
Just be careful.
I'd like to hold off
any major screw-ups...
until at least
my second day as captain.
Nothing will go wrong.
If something goes wrong...
bring back the blood.
Can I do the countdown?
Huh? Oh, sure.
Knock yourself out.
Ten, nine...
Okay, we're here.
Six, five, four,
three, two, one. Blastoff.
Hurry up.
I want to see the Moon.
Relax, it's open till 9:00.
That's one small step
for Fry...
And one giant line
for admission.
Wow.
Um... can I have cuts?
Hmm... mm...
no.
You're not going
to believe this...
but they landed
an amusement park on the Moon.
Guh! It's the happiest place
orbiting Earth.
Let's go already.
Fry, we have a crate to deliver.
Let's just dump it
in the sewer...
and say we
delivered it.
Too much work.
Let's burn it and say...
we dumped it in the sewer.
Okay, if everyone's finished
being stupid...
I had more, but you go ahead.
We'll deliver that crate
like professionals...
and then we'll go home.
But I've never been
to the Moon before.
Oh, all right.
We'll deliver that crate
like professionals...
and then we'll go
ride the bumper cars.
Amy, why don't you help Fry
hoist down the crate?
Then lock up
when you're done.
Just be careful.
Aye, aye, Captain.
I mean, only one eye.
I mean, yes, sir...
Um, ma'am.
- Clear?
- Clear.
Ready to hoist?
Ready.
Ow!
My first space delivery.
Greetings, moon man.
We come in peace.
I am Fry, from the planet Earth.
Wise guy, huh?
If I wasn't so lazy...
I'd punch you in the stomach.
But you are lazy, right?
Oh, don't get me started.
Hi! I'm Craterface.
Welcome to Luna Park.
I'll have to confiscate
your alcohol, sir.
Better mascots
than you have tried.
At least I still have
my self-respect.
Ugh, who buys this trash?
Idiots who need gifts
for other idiots.
Hey, I got you guys
refrigerator magnets.
Get it off. Get it off!
Get it... Uh-oh.
# How many roads
must a man walk down #
# Before you... #
Keep those things off of me.
Magnets screw up
my inhibition unit.
So you flip out and start acting
like some crazy folksinger?
Yes. I guess a robot
would have to be crazy...
to want to be a folksinger.
# We're whalers on the Moon,
we carry a harpoon #
# But there ain't no whales,
so we tell tall tales #
# And sing our whaling tune #
Bender! Hey, Bender!
Over here!
Oh, geez, I went to
high school with that guy.
Monsanto presents...
the Goophy Gopher Revue.
Why does a Moon rock...
taste better
than an Earth rock?
Because it's
a little "meteor."
This is weak.
Address all complaints
to the Monsanto Corporation.
What's wrong, Fry?
I don't know.
This place
is great and all...
but it's just
so artificial.
The gravity, the air,
the gophers.
You might as well stay on Earth.
That's what I came to see.
I want to go out and jump
around like an astronaut.
Screw this phony stuff.
But the phony stuff
is what's fun.
It's boring out there.
Yeah. You're the kind of guy
who visits Jerusalem...
and doesn't want to see
the "Sexiteria."
Maybe I should take Fry
on the Lunar Rover Ride.
You get to wear
a space suit...
and drive around
on the surface...
and the line's short...
because it's educational.
I don't care
how educational it is.
Let's do it!
Next year in Jerusalem!
Two adults, please.
Finally, get ready for
some serious moon action.
The story of lunar exploration...
started with one man...
a man with a dream.
One of these days, Alice...
Bang! Zoom!
Straight to the Moon!
Wow.
I never realized the first
astronauts were so fat.
That's not an astronaut.
It's a TV comedian.
He was just using
space travel...
as a metaphor
for beating his wife.
Wow! I could swear I was
really playing Virtual Skeeball.
- Hmm?
- Look, it's that crate...
we were going to
throw in the sewer.
The keys to the ship!
They must have fallen
into the crate.
Aw, Leela's going
to kill me.
Nah. She'll probably
make me do it.
Mister...
could you please get
those keys out for me?
What do I look like,
a guy who's not lazy?
No one knows where, when or how
man first landed on the Moon.
I do.
But our fungineers think...
it might have happened
something like this.
# We're whalers on the Moon #
# We carry a harpoon #
# But there ain't no whales
so we tell tall tales #
# And sing a whaling tune. #
That's not how
it happened.
Oh, really?
I don't see you with
a fungineering degree.
This is stupid.
I'm taking this thing
out to the real Moon.
Fry, no.
This is my first mission...
and I'm not going to let us
get in any trouble.
Besides, the car's
on a track.
Not for long.
# We're whalers #
Oh! Ow! Ooh!
I died doing what I loved.
Okay, you're
on the surface.
Now, I'll give you
ten minutes.
Then you'll get bored,
turn around...
and apologize
for being such a jerk.
- Agreed?
- Agreed.
Yee-ha!
Whoo!
Yeah! Crank up the radio!
# We're whalers on the... #
Yee-ha!
Time's up.
Make a U-turn
at the next crater.
No, not yet.
How about we go look
for the original Moon landing site?
That's crazy.
It's been lost for centuries.
Well, I'm feeling lucky.
Ooh! Ow! Ooh!
Uh... I'm ready
to go back now.
We're going to die!
It's every man for himself!
Help me, Leela!
Whoo!
You did it.
We're safe.
No. Now we're going to die.
It's every man for himself!
Hey, look what I won
from a tourist's pocket.
Shut up.
You're distracting me.
Come on, it's just
like making love.
You know, left, down,
rotate 62 degrees...
engage rotor.
I know how to make love.
Here, let me do it.
Lousy arm must be rigged.
That's her, Officers.
That's the woman...
who programmed me
for evil.
Yeah, well, I'm going to go
build my own theme park...
with blackjack and hookers.
In fact, forget the park.
I'm sorry, Leela.
I can't go on any further.
Just leave me to die
in that barn over there.
Oh, thank God.
Trespassers, eh?
No, sir. We're
amusement park patrons.
Oh, that's a wicked,
sinful place.
Tilt-a-whirl's okay...
but the rest is mighty wicked.
Our car broke down
and we're out of oxygen.
Can we borrow some?
"Borry?"
Looky here, city girl,
oxygen don't grow on trees.
You'll have to earn it
doing chores...
on my hydroponic farm.
You can go back to your precious
theme park at sunup.
I guess we could do
chores for a few hours.
Fry, night lasts
two weeks on the moon.
Yep. Drops down to minus 173.
Fahrenheit or Celsius?
First one,
than the other.
And them space suits
ain't' a-heated...
so you ain't going
nowhere till sunrise.
You can sleep in the barn.
Just don't be a-touchin'
my three beautiful robot
daughters, you hear?
Robot daughters?
This here's Lulabelle 7...
Yoo-hoo.
Daisy Mae 128-K...
Yoo-hoo.
And the Crushinator.
Yoo-hoo.
Whoo!
I told you to turn around
and go back to the park.
But oh, no.
The park was too phony.
We had to see the real Moon.
And it was great.
We got to see craters and rocks...
and that one incredible rock
that looked like a crater...
and... and... these fellas.
The Moon is a dump.
It's a boring
dried-up wasteland.
And the only reason
anybody ever comes here...
is for the tacky
little amusement park.
Can't you just
accept that?
I guess I can't.
I'll learn you to sleep
with my robot daughters.
He'll never find me in here.
Bender?
Uh, Bender, you didn't touch...
the Crushinator, did you?
Of course not.
A lady that fine
you got to romance first.
Oh, no, you don't.
Come here, Crushinator.
Yes, Pa.
- It's too low.
- Hang on.
Hang on. Jump.
Hold on to your helmet.
Whoa!
- Oh, boy.
- Yes!
Goldurn it,
Crushinator, jump!
No, Pa.
I love him.
Oh!
Hey, cool.
Dark side of the Moon.
Nightfall's coming.
Hurry, before we freeze.
What do you mean we, mammal?
Oh, dear.
I really ought to
do something.
But I am already
in my pajamas.
We can't outrun it forever.
Over there.
Look!
It's the Moon landing site.
We found it.
Quick, get in.
It's that flag from MTV...
and Neil Armstrong's footprint.
Hey, my foot's bigger.
Leela, isn't this the greatest
thing you've ever seen?
Fry, look around.
It's just a crummy
plastic flag...
and a dead man's
tracks in the dust.
Now, get in here before you freeze.
Oh, no room
for Bender, huh?
Fine, I'll go build
my own lunar lander...
with blackjack
and hookers.
In fact, forget the lunar lander
and the blackjack.
Ah, screw the whole thing.
Well, if the oxygen
holds out...
we might live long enough
to starve to death.
Look, Leela, I'm sorry.
I never should have
dragged you out here.
That's right.
You shouldn't have.
I still don't get
what the big attraction is.
Oh... I never told anybody this...
but a thousand years ago,
I used to look up at the Moon...
and dream about
being an astronaut.
I just didn't have the grades
or the physical endurance.
Plus, I threw up a lot...
and nobody likes
spending a week with me.
A week would be a little much.
The Moon was like this awesome,
romantic, mysterious thing...
hanging up there in the sky
where you could never reach it...
no matter
how much you wanted to.
But you're right.
Once you're actually here,
it's just a big dull rock.
I guess I just wanted you
to see it through my eyes...
the way I used to.
Fry, look.
It really is beautiful.
I don't know why
I never noticed before.
Had to come back
for the Crushinator, eh, robot?
Well, I got you this time.
It's Amy.
We're saved.
Amy?
Where'd she learn to operate
the controls like that?
Not the magnet.
No! No! No!
Uh-oh.
# She'll be coming around
the mountain when she comes #
# She'll be coming around
the mountain when she comes #
I'll kill you, Amy.
# She'll be coming
around the mountain #
# She'll be coming around
the mountain, she'll be... #
Ah, dang it.
# She'll be riding six white
horses when she comes #
# She'll be riding six white
horses when she comes #
Hey, I'm pretty good.
# She'll be riding
six white horses #
So, Fry, was the real Moon...
anything like the Moon
you used to dream about?
Uh... close enough.
# Well, I'll shoot her
with my ray-gun when she comes #
# Yes, I'll shoot her
with my ray-gun when she comes #
# Yes, I'll shoot her
with my ray-gun #
# Oh, I'll shoot her
with my ray-gun #
# Yes, I'll shoot her with my ray-gun
when she comes, when she comes #
# I'll be blasting
all the humans in the world #
# I'll be blasting
all the humans in the world #
# I'll be blasting
all the humans #
# I'll be blasting
all the humans #
# I'll be blasting all the humans
in the world, in the world #
One more time!