Full House (1987–1995): Season 5, Episode 15 - Play It Again, Jesse - full transcript
When Becky returns to work, Jesse is uncomfortable with being a stay-at-home father to Nicky and Alex.
[JESSE FREDERICK'S
"EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK" PLAYING]
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪
♪ Ahhh ♪
♪ Whatever happened
To predictability ♪
♪ The milkman The paperboy ♪
♪ Evenin' TV? ♪
♪ How did I get
Delivered here? ♪
♪ Somebody tell me, please ♪
♪ This whole world's
Confusin' me ♪
♪ Flowers as mean ♪
♪ As you've ever seen ♪
♪ Ain't a bird Who
knows your tune ♪
♪ Then a little voice
Inside you whispers: ♪
♪ "Kid, don't sell your
dreams So soon" ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a face ♪
♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out
there And you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waitin'
To carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪
♪ Dooby-doo-baa-ba-daa ♪
[♪♪♪]
Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho.
Nicky, take it easy.
Save some room
for the Peking duck.
Just a little, uh,
pre-solid food humor.
[CHUCKLES]
[NICKY MOANS]
Oh, I can't believe I have
to go back to work already.
I'm gonna miss my
pookey bears so much.
Aw, well, you'll
see them in an hour.
You're puttin' 'em
on your show today.
Yeah, but what if they
do something cute?
What if they learn to talk?
I'll have 'em call you.
Okay, let's roll.
Today's our big
"Farewell Vicky Show."
And?
And our even bigger
"Welcome Back Becky Show."
[CHUCKLES]
You and Vicky were
going pretty hot there.
I thought you'd be
down about her leaving.
Down? Me? Mr. Up?
[CHUCKLES]
Mr. Life-of-the-Party?
Oh, yeah, man, let
the good times roll.
[SOBBING] Why'd she have to go?
Morning, everyone.
BECKY: Morning. Good morning.
What are we lookin'
at, Ranger Joe?
Nothin'. I have a stiff neck.
Boy, sure hope
my neck loosens up
before my show or it's
gonna be bird-watching day.
[AS MR. WOODCHUCK]
Yeah, we can look for...
woodpeckers.
Well, Joey, keep your chin up.
Heh, guess you
have no choice. Ha!
Forget it. You cannot
borrow my clothes.
Please? No.
Please? No.
Please, please, please?
I'll do it.
No, no, no.
Remember, my clothes
are untouchable, off-limits.
This means you. Understand?
I understand.
Not.
I'm wearing D.J.'s sweater.
[GASPS]
She's gonna have a cow.
All right. Lunches.
Kisses.
All right, have a
good day at school.
Doing all right, boys, huh?
[TELEPHONE RINGS] Uh...
Don't get up. I'll get it.
Talk to me.
Speaking. Oh.
[SOFTLY] Guys, it's
the record company.
Tell me you love the song.
You like the song?
Oh, well, then maybe
you can learn to love it.
I mean, as a kid, like,
I hated blue cheese.
I thought it was like eatin',
like, sweat socks, but...
No, really. But
eventually, I... Right.
Okay.
I'm sorry too.
Bye.
[SIGHS]
Boys,
your old man got rejected again.
But you still love me, right?
[JESSE COOS]
That's what I thought.
Now, we're all in the same boat.
Out-of-work high-fives.
Out-of-work high-fives, come on.
[♪♪♪]
SINGERS: ♪ Wake up! ♪
Wake up, San Francisco.
I'm Danny Tanner.
And I'm Vicky Larson.
And today is my last day
because Rebecca Donaldson
is back from maternity leave.
I'm gonna miss you, Danny.
Oh, Vicky.
You know, I just forgot,
we're still on camera.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
But, uh, Vicky, I have
a big surprise for you.
I spoke to our station manager,
and he wants you to
do the weather reports
right here on Wake
Up, San Francisco.
Isn't that wonderful?
Uh, i-it would be
except this morning,
I was offered an incredible job
anchoring the news in Chicago.
Chicago?
The Windy City?
Y... You'll... You'll
have to wear a hat.
You'll get hat hair.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
Uh, Danny, why don't we
talk about this after the show
because Rebecca's waiting
to come on... Chicago?
Didn't they have a
really big fire there?
It was over a hundred years
ago. I'm sure it's out by now.
Hi, I'm Rebecca Donaldson,
and I'm welcoming
myself back to the show.
Welcome back, Becky.
Why, thank you, Becky.
Welcome back. Welcome back.
Thank you. Thank you,
Vicky. Thank you very much.
Um, I would like all of our
viewers to meet the two reasons
that I've been out of work
for the last eight weeks:
Nicky and Alex.
Come on in, boys.
Aw. Hi. Hi, baby.
Aw, come. And, everybody,
this is my wonderful
husband, Jesse.
Say hello, honey.
Hello, honey. [GIGGLES]
And these are our boys.
They're identical twins.
Oh, except Alex has a
birthmark on his tushy
just like his daddy.
I'm outta here. Oh,
no. Honey. Honey.
Come on. I am so
proud of this guy.
Do you know what he's
gonna do today? Mm.
He is going to take
care of the kids,
do the shopping, do the laundry,
and cook us a wonderful dinner.
Yeah, right after that,
I'm gonna wrestle a bobcat
with my bare hands. [CHUCKLES]
[♪♪♪]
Have mercy, 14 pounds.
You guys been sneaking
down to the kitchen,
eatin' cheeseburgers at night?
All right, there you go.
Here we go.
Uh, fellas, you see this?
This is what you're
gonna look like
if you don't start growin' hair.
Come on.
I got our dinner, Uncle Jesse.
Whoa, h-h-hold it.
I'm not buyin'
all that junk food.
You better buy these
cookies. I already ate four.
I mean, five.
Billy Bunny cereal.
I gotta have it.
H-h-hold it, Michelle.
Hold it, Michelle.
Let me tell ya something.
Just because there's some
goofy character on the box,
it doesn't mean the
product's any good, all right?
Oh, my God.
Elvis peanut butter.
Uncle Jesse, isn't that the
same thing as Billy Bunny cereal?
No, it is not. Elvis is
a man, not a cartoon.
Now, what do you guys want?
Smooth or Hunka Hunka Chunka?
We'll take both.
All right. Hey,
Nicky, how you do...?
Whoa-ho-ho.
Did we bring any diapers?
Diapers, aisle three.
All right, I got an
idea. Come here, pal.
Here we go.
Here, this ought to keep
you smelling pine fresh
till we get there.
All right, girls, we
need milk and bread.
Got it.
No more junk food.
Hey, I saw you
on TV this mornin'.
Really? Thank you.
You're, uh, Rebecca's
husband, Jesse Donaldson.
It's Katsopolis.
Jesse Katsopolis.
Whatever. I'm George,
and it's nice to meet
another househusband.
I'm not a househusband.
I'm a... I'm a musician.
Yeah, I'm a screenwriter.
[CHUCKLES]
Look, I... I'm just doing this
because my career's
temporarily on hold, okay?
Yeah, you know, I said
the same thing to my wife
when she went back to
work. That was four years ago.
So...? So for four
years, all you've done
is take care of the
kids and the house?
Of course not. I mean, there's,
uh, shopping and carpools and,
oh, my favorite soap,
General Hospital.
Listen, I-I gotta run.
I'll see you Thursday,
double-coupon day.
If I could sleep
Wednesday night.
Hm, these Funky
Franks are pretty good.
I better try a few
more just to make sure.
Uh-oh.
What have I done? I got
mustard on D.J.'s sweater.
She's gonna have a cow.
Tell me something I don't know.
Yesterday, I dropped
your toothbrush in the toilet.
All right, come
on girls, let's go.
All we need are paper towels.
I'll get one.
Wait, h-h-h-h-hold it, Michelle.
Hold it, hold it, hold it.
I'm just trying to help.
Well, thank you, but you
never take from the bottom.
Always take from the top.
Like this, you see?
I could've done that.
[♪♪♪]
I set the table, Uncle Jesse.
Thank you.
I'm too full to eat
dinner, Uncle Jesse.
Now, I know why they
call 'em Funky Franks.
All right. Michelle,
take one plate away.
Now you see it, now you don't.
[TIMER BUZZES]
That's my laundry.
I'm gonna go check on
the boys. I'll be right back.
I threw D.J.'s sweater in.
I hope that mustard
stain came out.
[SCREAMS]
It shrank!
That will fit my Barbie.
[DOOR OPENS]
BOTH: Hi.
Deej, my loving sister.
How nice to see you.
I'm just going to
go in the living room
and, uh... oh, uh,
practice my moonwalk.
Steph, the '80s are over.
Oh, girls, just in
time for dinner.
Oh, sorry, Uncle Jesse,
but Kimmy and I are
gonna go study at the library.
We'll catch a burger on the way.
Is that the thanks I get
after slaving over
a hot stove all day?
Boy, you sound just like my mom.
Only more bitter.
There goes another
plate. [DOOR CLOSES]
Hey, Jess.
Did you, uh, lose something?
Yeah, the use of my neck.
I tried to crack it myself.
Do you know, it's amazing how
many people need shoeshines.
Where's Becky and Danny?
Oh, they said to tell
you they had to work late,
and they'll be late for dinner.
Michelle... two more plates.
Why do I even bother?
Well, I gotta go
see a chiropractor,
so I'm not gonna be
here for dinner either.
Michelle:
What is this, a joke?
Hey, Jess, can you do me
a favor and sew this button
onto Mr. Woodchuck?
Oh, love to.
Boy, this floor needs a wax job.
Not only am I Mr. Mom,
I'm Mr. Woodchuck's mom.
[SIGHS]
What a day.
Are you totally bummed?
Yeah, totally.
Go ahead, tell me all about it.
[SIGHING] I just... I'm
just afraid, you know?
What if I never
get a record deal?
I mean, is this it for me?
Cooking, cleaning,
watching the kids
while Becky's at work?
I gotta make some
changes in my life.
Can we eat dinner first?
Sure, kid. I hope you're hungry,
because, uh, it's just
you and me eatin'.
I think you forgot somebody.
Bon appétit, Comet.
[♪♪♪]
All right, there.
Your button's on,
ya sawdust-sucking tree freak.
Oh, you have no snappy comebacks
since Joey's hand's
not up your back, huh?
That's what I thought.
Hi, honey. Hi.
I'm sorry I missed dinner.
That's okay.
Hello, boys.
I tell you, Jess, I-I
know I should be happy
about Vicky's new job
in Chicago, and I am.
But I-I'm feeling
a little guilty
that I'm not happy
enough, you know?
I think I hid my
feelings pretty well,
although I did weep all over
her goodbye ice cream cake.
I'm fine about this, I...
I... I really am. Just...
[CHUCKLES] Do you
guys know a good therapist?
I'll be leaving now.
He's taking it well.
Yes, he is.
So, honey, how was your
day? [DOOR CLOSES]
Well, the record company
called. They didn't like my demo.
Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry.
Eh, it's all right.
I'm shaking things up. I
got myself a gig tonight.
I'm playing with an oldies
band at the airport lounge.
The airport lounge?
Mm-hm.
Honey, isn't that a step down?
From unemployment?
Nah, it's music,
it's a paycheck.
Besides, I get a real
nice coloring book
and those little wings.
Honey, I've been gone all day.
I mean, this was supposed
to be our time together.
Well, this is my time to make
some money for my family.
Jesse, I make more than enough
money to support our family.
Thanks for reminding me.
What...? You have some problem
with me making a decent living?
No, I have a problem with
me making a decent living.
Oh, okay, so now I know
what argument I'm in.
This is about your
stubborn macho pride.
What pride? I don't
have any pride.
I lost my pride.
I'm going to get some pride.
Say goodbye to Mr. Donaldson.
[♪♪♪]
Hey, Steph, have you
seen the heating pad?
In Dad's top drawer.
You know he preheats
his socks in the winter.
How's your neck, Joey?
Oh, it's much better.
I just can't make
any sudden moves.
Look what fits me.
Michelle!
What?
[GROANING]
Oh, I just threw
my neck out again.
[AS MR. WOODCHUCK]
Way to go, stupid.
Hey, I have the exact
same sweater in my closet.
Well, it's a small
world after all.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
And that one has
a button missing
right where this one
has a button missing.
Can someone explain this?
I just wear 'em.
I don't shrink 'em.
Steph?
All right, this is your sweater.
I stole it, I stained
it, I shrunk it.
I should've buried it.
Okay, D.J., have that cow.
I'm so sorry, D.J.
I'll do anything to
make it up to you.
Well, make it up to Kimmy.
I borrowed that sweater
from her last summer.
Oh, yeah, that is my sweater.
So, Steph, you'll do
anything to make it up to me?
This is my worst nightmare.
Okay, Kimmy, I deserve
this. What do you want?
Well, actually,
I haven't had a pedicure in...
my whole life.
D.J., MICHELLE &
STEPH: Ew, gross.
Not the sock! Run for it!
[♪♪♪]
[IN UNISON] ♪ Glow, little
glowworm Glimmer, glimmer ♪
♪ Glow, little glowworm
Glimmer, glimmer ♪
♪ I got a gal That I love so ♪
♪ Glow, little glowworm ♪
♪ Glow ♪
Thank you, and do you
know what? Thank you.
[CHUCKLES]
Well, welcome to
the terminal lounge,
the hippest room on
the departing level.
We are The Diplomats and
no, you're not in an elevator.
[PLAYS STING] Thank
you, Irv, I love you.
What are you guys doing here?
Well, we thought we'd
come down to see you.
I thought you said this
was an oldies band.
I get it.
Talk to you after the set.
MAN [OVER PA]:
Flight 19 to Chicago
is now boarding at Gate 6.
Hey, buddy.
What are you starin' at?
Oh, I'm not staring, I
just have a stiff neck.
You want me to adjust it for ya?
I'll just adjust my chair.
Okay, for our next
number, we have a v...
Oh, yes, sir, you
have a request there?
Yes, sir, what would
you like to hear?
Watch my luggage
while I go to the john.
Who wrote that one?
Gershwin? Hit me, Irv.
[PLAYS STING] [CHUCKLES]
Okay.
Well, then, uh,
we'll do this song.
I-I'm sure you'll all enjoy it.
It goes something like this.
♪ You must remember this ♪
♪ A kiss is just a kiss ♪
♪ A sigh is just a sigh ♪
Vicky, I-I can't believe
you're moving to Chicago.
Danny, I've been
thinking about this all day.
I'm gonna take that job
here doing the weather.
Really? That's great. [LAUGHS]
But wait a minute.
Vicky, what about Chicago?
That was your dream job.
But San Francisco has
one thing Chicago doesn't.
Rice-A-Roni?
[CHUCKLES]
All right, two things.
Vicky, I... I can't let you
give up your dream for me.
If you stay here and
you do the weather,
you're gonna hate it.
And then pretty soon,
you're gonna start to hate me.
I could never hate you.
I may resent you a little.
MAN [OVER PA]: Final
boarding for Flight 19 to Chicago.
Vicky, you've gotta
get on that plane
or you're gonna regret it.
Maybe not today, maybe
not tomorrow, but soon,
and for the rest of your life.
You're right.
Oh, Danny, I'm gonna miss you.
I'm gonna miss you too.
Goodbye, sweetheart.
MAN [OVER PA]: Flight 217 to
Reno, now available for preboarding.
I can't do it.
Vicky, you need to be strong.
No, I can't do it because I
don't have luggage or a ticket.
You mean I have to go through
this whole goodbye
again tomorrow?
Yes,
but we'll always have
the terminal lounge.
♪ The world will always
Welcome lovers ♪
♪ As time goes by ♪
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
We're gonna take a short break,
but I bet ya won't
even know we're gone.
MAN [OVER PA]: Passenger Wilson,
please pick up the
white courtesy phone.
Passenger Wilson... Well...
Hey, Jess, I really like
the new band. Thank you.
They really make
you look, uh... young.
Do me a favor and
point me to the restroom.
Sure.
Jess, honey, is this
really what you wanna do?
No, this is really
what I have to do.
[SCOFFS]
Sing "Glow Worm"
in an airport lounge?
I'll admit it's not the
coolest gig in the world,
but it's still music.
And, heh, you gotta admit,
Irv is one bad mama
in his own right.
Jess, what about your music?
You can't give up on that.
I'm not givin' up on my music.
I'm still gonna
work on my music.
And if I get lucky,
you know, it'll be great,
I'll get a shot. But...
Right now, I gotta
contribute to my family.
But you do contribute.
You're a great husband,
you're a great father.
I'm talkin' about money.
Now, whether I make
a million dollars or $1,
I-I can't just let you
go to work and...
And make all the money
for this family. I'm a man.
You know, maybe
I'm old-fashioned,
but that's who I am.
And that's who I love.
Sweetie, I'm really sorry
if I hurt your feelings.
And if you think it's
important to be a Diplomat,
then I back you 100 percent.
Thank you.
What's important is the
"tuneage" in this joint.
We gotta work on this playlist.
All right, Dips.
You guys, come on.
Now, I know deep,
deep down inside ya
there's gotta be some kind
of wild rock 'n' roll maniac
just dying to get out, huh?
All right, we'll fake it.
A little rock 'n'
roll music in E.
Shall we, fellas? Here we go.
BAND: ♪ Baby, baby
We'll rock your soul ♪
♪ Rock 'n' roll We'll
rock your soul ♪
♪ Come on, pretty baby
And I'll give you some more ♪
Oh, my neck. I'm cured. ♪ If
you take a chance with me ♪
♪ Rock ♪
♪ If you take a chance with me ♪
♪ Rock ♪
♪ If you take a chance with me ♪
♪ Rock ♪
♪ If you take a chance with me ♪
[JESSE FREDERICK'S
"EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK" PLAYING]
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪
♪ Dooby-doo-baa-ba-daa ♪
"EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK" PLAYING]
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪
♪ Ahhh ♪
♪ Whatever happened
To predictability ♪
♪ The milkman The paperboy ♪
♪ Evenin' TV? ♪
♪ How did I get
Delivered here? ♪
♪ Somebody tell me, please ♪
♪ This whole world's
Confusin' me ♪
♪ Flowers as mean ♪
♪ As you've ever seen ♪
♪ Ain't a bird Who
knows your tune ♪
♪ Then a little voice
Inside you whispers: ♪
♪ "Kid, don't sell your
dreams So soon" ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a face ♪
♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out
there And you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waitin'
To carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪
♪ Dooby-doo-baa-ba-daa ♪
[♪♪♪]
Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho.
Nicky, take it easy.
Save some room
for the Peking duck.
Just a little, uh,
pre-solid food humor.
[CHUCKLES]
[NICKY MOANS]
Oh, I can't believe I have
to go back to work already.
I'm gonna miss my
pookey bears so much.
Aw, well, you'll
see them in an hour.
You're puttin' 'em
on your show today.
Yeah, but what if they
do something cute?
What if they learn to talk?
I'll have 'em call you.
Okay, let's roll.
Today's our big
"Farewell Vicky Show."
And?
And our even bigger
"Welcome Back Becky Show."
[CHUCKLES]
You and Vicky were
going pretty hot there.
I thought you'd be
down about her leaving.
Down? Me? Mr. Up?
[CHUCKLES]
Mr. Life-of-the-Party?
Oh, yeah, man, let
the good times roll.
[SOBBING] Why'd she have to go?
Morning, everyone.
BECKY: Morning. Good morning.
What are we lookin'
at, Ranger Joe?
Nothin'. I have a stiff neck.
Boy, sure hope
my neck loosens up
before my show or it's
gonna be bird-watching day.
[AS MR. WOODCHUCK]
Yeah, we can look for...
woodpeckers.
Well, Joey, keep your chin up.
Heh, guess you
have no choice. Ha!
Forget it. You cannot
borrow my clothes.
Please? No.
Please? No.
Please, please, please?
I'll do it.
No, no, no.
Remember, my clothes
are untouchable, off-limits.
This means you. Understand?
I understand.
Not.
I'm wearing D.J.'s sweater.
[GASPS]
She's gonna have a cow.
All right. Lunches.
Kisses.
All right, have a
good day at school.
Doing all right, boys, huh?
[TELEPHONE RINGS] Uh...
Don't get up. I'll get it.
Talk to me.
Speaking. Oh.
[SOFTLY] Guys, it's
the record company.
Tell me you love the song.
You like the song?
Oh, well, then maybe
you can learn to love it.
I mean, as a kid, like,
I hated blue cheese.
I thought it was like eatin',
like, sweat socks, but...
No, really. But
eventually, I... Right.
Okay.
I'm sorry too.
Bye.
[SIGHS]
Boys,
your old man got rejected again.
But you still love me, right?
[JESSE COOS]
That's what I thought.
Now, we're all in the same boat.
Out-of-work high-fives.
Out-of-work high-fives, come on.
[♪♪♪]
SINGERS: ♪ Wake up! ♪
Wake up, San Francisco.
I'm Danny Tanner.
And I'm Vicky Larson.
And today is my last day
because Rebecca Donaldson
is back from maternity leave.
I'm gonna miss you, Danny.
Oh, Vicky.
You know, I just forgot,
we're still on camera.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
But, uh, Vicky, I have
a big surprise for you.
I spoke to our station manager,
and he wants you to
do the weather reports
right here on Wake
Up, San Francisco.
Isn't that wonderful?
Uh, i-it would be
except this morning,
I was offered an incredible job
anchoring the news in Chicago.
Chicago?
The Windy City?
Y... You'll... You'll
have to wear a hat.
You'll get hat hair.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
Uh, Danny, why don't we
talk about this after the show
because Rebecca's waiting
to come on... Chicago?
Didn't they have a
really big fire there?
It was over a hundred years
ago. I'm sure it's out by now.
Hi, I'm Rebecca Donaldson,
and I'm welcoming
myself back to the show.
Welcome back, Becky.
Why, thank you, Becky.
Welcome back. Welcome back.
Thank you. Thank you,
Vicky. Thank you very much.
Um, I would like all of our
viewers to meet the two reasons
that I've been out of work
for the last eight weeks:
Nicky and Alex.
Come on in, boys.
Aw. Hi. Hi, baby.
Aw, come. And, everybody,
this is my wonderful
husband, Jesse.
Say hello, honey.
Hello, honey. [GIGGLES]
And these are our boys.
They're identical twins.
Oh, except Alex has a
birthmark on his tushy
just like his daddy.
I'm outta here. Oh,
no. Honey. Honey.
Come on. I am so
proud of this guy.
Do you know what he's
gonna do today? Mm.
He is going to take
care of the kids,
do the shopping, do the laundry,
and cook us a wonderful dinner.
Yeah, right after that,
I'm gonna wrestle a bobcat
with my bare hands. [CHUCKLES]
[♪♪♪]
Have mercy, 14 pounds.
You guys been sneaking
down to the kitchen,
eatin' cheeseburgers at night?
All right, there you go.
Here we go.
Uh, fellas, you see this?
This is what you're
gonna look like
if you don't start growin' hair.
Come on.
I got our dinner, Uncle Jesse.
Whoa, h-h-hold it.
I'm not buyin'
all that junk food.
You better buy these
cookies. I already ate four.
I mean, five.
Billy Bunny cereal.
I gotta have it.
H-h-hold it, Michelle.
Hold it, Michelle.
Let me tell ya something.
Just because there's some
goofy character on the box,
it doesn't mean the
product's any good, all right?
Oh, my God.
Elvis peanut butter.
Uncle Jesse, isn't that the
same thing as Billy Bunny cereal?
No, it is not. Elvis is
a man, not a cartoon.
Now, what do you guys want?
Smooth or Hunka Hunka Chunka?
We'll take both.
All right. Hey,
Nicky, how you do...?
Whoa-ho-ho.
Did we bring any diapers?
Diapers, aisle three.
All right, I got an
idea. Come here, pal.
Here we go.
Here, this ought to keep
you smelling pine fresh
till we get there.
All right, girls, we
need milk and bread.
Got it.
No more junk food.
Hey, I saw you
on TV this mornin'.
Really? Thank you.
You're, uh, Rebecca's
husband, Jesse Donaldson.
It's Katsopolis.
Jesse Katsopolis.
Whatever. I'm George,
and it's nice to meet
another househusband.
I'm not a househusband.
I'm a... I'm a musician.
Yeah, I'm a screenwriter.
[CHUCKLES]
Look, I... I'm just doing this
because my career's
temporarily on hold, okay?
Yeah, you know, I said
the same thing to my wife
when she went back to
work. That was four years ago.
So...? So for four
years, all you've done
is take care of the
kids and the house?
Of course not. I mean, there's,
uh, shopping and carpools and,
oh, my favorite soap,
General Hospital.
Listen, I-I gotta run.
I'll see you Thursday,
double-coupon day.
If I could sleep
Wednesday night.
Hm, these Funky
Franks are pretty good.
I better try a few
more just to make sure.
Uh-oh.
What have I done? I got
mustard on D.J.'s sweater.
She's gonna have a cow.
Tell me something I don't know.
Yesterday, I dropped
your toothbrush in the toilet.
All right, come
on girls, let's go.
All we need are paper towels.
I'll get one.
Wait, h-h-h-h-hold it, Michelle.
Hold it, hold it, hold it.
I'm just trying to help.
Well, thank you, but you
never take from the bottom.
Always take from the top.
Like this, you see?
I could've done that.
[♪♪♪]
I set the table, Uncle Jesse.
Thank you.
I'm too full to eat
dinner, Uncle Jesse.
Now, I know why they
call 'em Funky Franks.
All right. Michelle,
take one plate away.
Now you see it, now you don't.
[TIMER BUZZES]
That's my laundry.
I'm gonna go check on
the boys. I'll be right back.
I threw D.J.'s sweater in.
I hope that mustard
stain came out.
[SCREAMS]
It shrank!
That will fit my Barbie.
[DOOR OPENS]
BOTH: Hi.
Deej, my loving sister.
How nice to see you.
I'm just going to
go in the living room
and, uh... oh, uh,
practice my moonwalk.
Steph, the '80s are over.
Oh, girls, just in
time for dinner.
Oh, sorry, Uncle Jesse,
but Kimmy and I are
gonna go study at the library.
We'll catch a burger on the way.
Is that the thanks I get
after slaving over
a hot stove all day?
Boy, you sound just like my mom.
Only more bitter.
There goes another
plate. [DOOR CLOSES]
Hey, Jess.
Did you, uh, lose something?
Yeah, the use of my neck.
I tried to crack it myself.
Do you know, it's amazing how
many people need shoeshines.
Where's Becky and Danny?
Oh, they said to tell
you they had to work late,
and they'll be late for dinner.
Michelle... two more plates.
Why do I even bother?
Well, I gotta go
see a chiropractor,
so I'm not gonna be
here for dinner either.
Michelle:
What is this, a joke?
Hey, Jess, can you do me
a favor and sew this button
onto Mr. Woodchuck?
Oh, love to.
Boy, this floor needs a wax job.
Not only am I Mr. Mom,
I'm Mr. Woodchuck's mom.
[SIGHS]
What a day.
Are you totally bummed?
Yeah, totally.
Go ahead, tell me all about it.
[SIGHING] I just... I'm
just afraid, you know?
What if I never
get a record deal?
I mean, is this it for me?
Cooking, cleaning,
watching the kids
while Becky's at work?
I gotta make some
changes in my life.
Can we eat dinner first?
Sure, kid. I hope you're hungry,
because, uh, it's just
you and me eatin'.
I think you forgot somebody.
Bon appétit, Comet.
[♪♪♪]
All right, there.
Your button's on,
ya sawdust-sucking tree freak.
Oh, you have no snappy comebacks
since Joey's hand's
not up your back, huh?
That's what I thought.
Hi, honey. Hi.
I'm sorry I missed dinner.
That's okay.
Hello, boys.
I tell you, Jess, I-I
know I should be happy
about Vicky's new job
in Chicago, and I am.
But I-I'm feeling
a little guilty
that I'm not happy
enough, you know?
I think I hid my
feelings pretty well,
although I did weep all over
her goodbye ice cream cake.
I'm fine about this, I...
I... I really am. Just...
[CHUCKLES] Do you
guys know a good therapist?
I'll be leaving now.
He's taking it well.
Yes, he is.
So, honey, how was your
day? [DOOR CLOSES]
Well, the record company
called. They didn't like my demo.
Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry.
Eh, it's all right.
I'm shaking things up. I
got myself a gig tonight.
I'm playing with an oldies
band at the airport lounge.
The airport lounge?
Mm-hm.
Honey, isn't that a step down?
From unemployment?
Nah, it's music,
it's a paycheck.
Besides, I get a real
nice coloring book
and those little wings.
Honey, I've been gone all day.
I mean, this was supposed
to be our time together.
Well, this is my time to make
some money for my family.
Jesse, I make more than enough
money to support our family.
Thanks for reminding me.
What...? You have some problem
with me making a decent living?
No, I have a problem with
me making a decent living.
Oh, okay, so now I know
what argument I'm in.
This is about your
stubborn macho pride.
What pride? I don't
have any pride.
I lost my pride.
I'm going to get some pride.
Say goodbye to Mr. Donaldson.
[♪♪♪]
Hey, Steph, have you
seen the heating pad?
In Dad's top drawer.
You know he preheats
his socks in the winter.
How's your neck, Joey?
Oh, it's much better.
I just can't make
any sudden moves.
Look what fits me.
Michelle!
What?
[GROANING]
Oh, I just threw
my neck out again.
[AS MR. WOODCHUCK]
Way to go, stupid.
Hey, I have the exact
same sweater in my closet.
Well, it's a small
world after all.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
And that one has
a button missing
right where this one
has a button missing.
Can someone explain this?
I just wear 'em.
I don't shrink 'em.
Steph?
All right, this is your sweater.
I stole it, I stained
it, I shrunk it.
I should've buried it.
Okay, D.J., have that cow.
I'm so sorry, D.J.
I'll do anything to
make it up to you.
Well, make it up to Kimmy.
I borrowed that sweater
from her last summer.
Oh, yeah, that is my sweater.
So, Steph, you'll do
anything to make it up to me?
This is my worst nightmare.
Okay, Kimmy, I deserve
this. What do you want?
Well, actually,
I haven't had a pedicure in...
my whole life.
D.J., MICHELLE &
STEPH: Ew, gross.
Not the sock! Run for it!
[♪♪♪]
[IN UNISON] ♪ Glow, little
glowworm Glimmer, glimmer ♪
♪ Glow, little glowworm
Glimmer, glimmer ♪
♪ I got a gal That I love so ♪
♪ Glow, little glowworm ♪
♪ Glow ♪
Thank you, and do you
know what? Thank you.
[CHUCKLES]
Well, welcome to
the terminal lounge,
the hippest room on
the departing level.
We are The Diplomats and
no, you're not in an elevator.
[PLAYS STING] Thank
you, Irv, I love you.
What are you guys doing here?
Well, we thought we'd
come down to see you.
I thought you said this
was an oldies band.
I get it.
Talk to you after the set.
MAN [OVER PA]:
Flight 19 to Chicago
is now boarding at Gate 6.
Hey, buddy.
What are you starin' at?
Oh, I'm not staring, I
just have a stiff neck.
You want me to adjust it for ya?
I'll just adjust my chair.
Okay, for our next
number, we have a v...
Oh, yes, sir, you
have a request there?
Yes, sir, what would
you like to hear?
Watch my luggage
while I go to the john.
Who wrote that one?
Gershwin? Hit me, Irv.
[PLAYS STING] [CHUCKLES]
Okay.
Well, then, uh,
we'll do this song.
I-I'm sure you'll all enjoy it.
It goes something like this.
♪ You must remember this ♪
♪ A kiss is just a kiss ♪
♪ A sigh is just a sigh ♪
Vicky, I-I can't believe
you're moving to Chicago.
Danny, I've been
thinking about this all day.
I'm gonna take that job
here doing the weather.
Really? That's great. [LAUGHS]
But wait a minute.
Vicky, what about Chicago?
That was your dream job.
But San Francisco has
one thing Chicago doesn't.
Rice-A-Roni?
[CHUCKLES]
All right, two things.
Vicky, I... I can't let you
give up your dream for me.
If you stay here and
you do the weather,
you're gonna hate it.
And then pretty soon,
you're gonna start to hate me.
I could never hate you.
I may resent you a little.
MAN [OVER PA]: Final
boarding for Flight 19 to Chicago.
Vicky, you've gotta
get on that plane
or you're gonna regret it.
Maybe not today, maybe
not tomorrow, but soon,
and for the rest of your life.
You're right.
Oh, Danny, I'm gonna miss you.
I'm gonna miss you too.
Goodbye, sweetheart.
MAN [OVER PA]: Flight 217 to
Reno, now available for preboarding.
I can't do it.
Vicky, you need to be strong.
No, I can't do it because I
don't have luggage or a ticket.
You mean I have to go through
this whole goodbye
again tomorrow?
Yes,
but we'll always have
the terminal lounge.
♪ The world will always
Welcome lovers ♪
♪ As time goes by ♪
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
We're gonna take a short break,
but I bet ya won't
even know we're gone.
MAN [OVER PA]: Passenger Wilson,
please pick up the
white courtesy phone.
Passenger Wilson... Well...
Hey, Jess, I really like
the new band. Thank you.
They really make
you look, uh... young.
Do me a favor and
point me to the restroom.
Sure.
Jess, honey, is this
really what you wanna do?
No, this is really
what I have to do.
[SCOFFS]
Sing "Glow Worm"
in an airport lounge?
I'll admit it's not the
coolest gig in the world,
but it's still music.
And, heh, you gotta admit,
Irv is one bad mama
in his own right.
Jess, what about your music?
You can't give up on that.
I'm not givin' up on my music.
I'm still gonna
work on my music.
And if I get lucky,
you know, it'll be great,
I'll get a shot. But...
Right now, I gotta
contribute to my family.
But you do contribute.
You're a great husband,
you're a great father.
I'm talkin' about money.
Now, whether I make
a million dollars or $1,
I-I can't just let you
go to work and...
And make all the money
for this family. I'm a man.
You know, maybe
I'm old-fashioned,
but that's who I am.
And that's who I love.
Sweetie, I'm really sorry
if I hurt your feelings.
And if you think it's
important to be a Diplomat,
then I back you 100 percent.
Thank you.
What's important is the
"tuneage" in this joint.
We gotta work on this playlist.
All right, Dips.
You guys, come on.
Now, I know deep,
deep down inside ya
there's gotta be some kind
of wild rock 'n' roll maniac
just dying to get out, huh?
All right, we'll fake it.
A little rock 'n'
roll music in E.
Shall we, fellas? Here we go.
BAND: ♪ Baby, baby
We'll rock your soul ♪
♪ Rock 'n' roll We'll
rock your soul ♪
♪ Come on, pretty baby
And I'll give you some more ♪
Oh, my neck. I'm cured. ♪ If
you take a chance with me ♪
♪ Rock ♪
♪ If you take a chance with me ♪
♪ Rock ♪
♪ If you take a chance with me ♪
♪ Rock ♪
♪ If you take a chance with me ♪
[JESSE FREDERICK'S
"EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK" PLAYING]
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪
♪ Dooby-doo-baa-ba-daa ♪