Full House (1987–1995): Season 4, Episode 14 - Working Girl - full transcript
Desperate for a pair of expensive shoes, DJ takes a job as an assistant at a portrait studio. Danny's only condition is that she must maintain her grades, especially in the science class in which she is already struggling. When she fails her next assignment in the class, Kimmy doctors her paper to make the "F" look like an "A". Meanwhile, Jesse and Becky argue about where they should marry, Becky wanting a down-home do in Nebraska, and Jesse wanting Elvis-themed nuptials in Graceland.
ARRR!
MY TURN.
AW, I KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU.
YOU WANT TO BE JUST LIKE
YOUR UNCLE JESSE, RIGHT?
OKAY, HERE WE GO.
SIT OVER HERE, GRAB THE STICKS.
HERE... THERE.
ALL RIGHT, NOW, WHAT YOU DO
IS START OFF ON THE BASS DRUM.
DO 1 AND 3 ON THE BASS
DRUM, 2 AND 4 ON THE SNARE,
8s ON THE HIGH-HAT, DO A BIG
FLOURISH, AND END WITH A CYMBAL.
ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?
YEAH, FORGET ALL THAT.
JUST BANG THE HECK OUT OF 'EM.
ROCK 'N' ROLL!
WE LOVE YOU, SAN FRANCISCO!
♪ AHH, AHH, AHH, AHH ♪
♪ AHH ♪
♪ WHATEVER HAPPENED
TO PREDICTABILITY ♪
♪ THE MILKMAN, THE PAPERBOY ♪
♪ EVENIN' TV ♪
♪ HOW DID I GET DELIVERED HERE ♪
♪ SOMEBODY TELL ME, PLEASE ♪
♪ THIS OLD WORLD'S ♪
♪ CONFUSIN' ME ♪
♪ CLOUDS AS MEAN
AS YOU'VE EVER SEEN ♪
♪ AIN'T A BIRD WHO
KNOWS YOUR TUNE ♪
♪ THEN A LITTLE VOICE
INSIDE YOU WHISPERS ♪
♪ KID, DON'T SELL YOUR
DREAMS SO SOON ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ THERE'S A HEART ♪
♪ A HAND TO HOLD ONTO ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ THERE'S A FACE OF
SOMEBODY WHO NEEDS YOU ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LOST OUT THERE ♪
♪ AND YOU'RE ALL ALONE ♪
♪ A LIGHT IS WAITIN' ♪
♪ TO CARRY YOU HOME ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ DO BE DO BA BA DA ♪♪
CAPTIONING MADE
POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
HEY, STEPH.
WE JUST GOT BACK FROM PRESCHOOL,
AND YOUR SISTER MICHELLE
HAS SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU.
WANT TO SEE WHAT I GOT?
SURE, WHY NOT?
YOU HAVE TO SAY PLEASE.
I'M NOT THAT INTERESTED.
STEPH, JUST PLAY ALONG.
IT'S POLITENESS
WEEK IN PRESCHOOL.
I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET OFFICER
MICHELLE OF THE POLITE POLICE.
I'LL BE WATCHING YOU, MISTER.
STEPHANIE... HAVE
A VERY NICE DAY.
HI.
HEY.
DAD, BOY, I MISSED YOU.
HOW'S THE GREATEST DAD IN THE
HISTORY OF DADS FEELING TODAY?
VERY SUSPICIOUS.
COMPLIMENT HIM ON HIS
SHOE, SOCK, PANT COMBINATION.
DADS LOVE THAT.
DAD, SIT DOWN.
MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE.
CAREFUL, DAD.
SHE NEEDS MONEY AND LOTS OF IT.
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
DEEJ, WE GO BACK EIGHT YEARS.
WE ALL KNOW WHEN
IT'S KISS-UP TIME.
ALL RIGHT. HOW MUCH?
WELL, YOU HAVE TO KNOW THAT
THIS MONEY'S NOT FOR ANYTHING FUN.
IT'S FOR CLOTHES... A
BASIC NECESSITY OF LIFE.
HOW MUCH?
WELL, BEFORE I TELL YOU
THE ACTUAL DOLLAR AMOUNT,
YOU HAVE TO KNOW THAT THESE ARE
THE WORLD'S COOLEST TENNIS SHOES.
HOW MUCH?
ONLY $80... PER SHOE.
WHY ARE WE LAUGHING?
'CAUSE FOR A SECOND
THERE I THOUGHT
YOU ACTUALLY ASKED ME
FOR $160 FOR SNEAKERS.
I DID.
BUT THESE AREN'T JUST SNEAKERS.
THESE ARE BLOW-OUTS.
BLOW-OUTS ARE SO RAD.
THEY ACTUALLY INHALE
AND EXHALE AS YOU WALK.
AND IF I DON'T GET THESE,
I'M GONNA BE A TOTAL GEEK.
YOU KNOW HOW THAT FEELS, MR. T.
TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE.
DEEJ, YOU DON'T ALWAYS
HAVE TO FOLLOW THE CROWD.
WHEN I WAS A BOY
AND EVERYBODY WAS
WASTING THEIR ALLOWANCE ON
THOSE EVEL KNIEVEL JUMPSUITS,
I WENT OUT AND I
BOUGHT SOME SENSIBLE
SANSABELT PANTS WITH
AN ADJUSTABLE WAISTBAND,
A STYLE STILL WORN TODAY
BY SOME OF AMERICA'S
FINEST BOWLERS.
TIME FOR PLAN "B."
DAD, WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT
IF I NEVER HAD TO WEASEL
MONEY OUT OF YOU AGAIN?
I LIKE PLAN "B" SO FAR.
I CAN EARN MY OWN
MONEY BY GETTING A JOB.
THERE'S A PHOTOGRAPHER
DOWN AT THE MALL,
AND HE SAID THAT I COULD
BE HIS PART-TIME ASSISTANT.
DEEJ, WHAT ABOUT
YOUR SCHOOLWORK?
YOUR GRADE IN SCIENCE
HAS BEEN SLIPPING LATELY.
I GIVE YOU MY PERSONAL GUARANTEE
THAT D.J. WILL RAISE
HER GRADE IN SCIENCE.
OH, THE GIBBLER GUARANTEE.
OH, WELL, THAT
CHANGES EVERYTHING.
HEY, DAD, COME ON.
I'M 14 YEARS OLD.
I'M READY FOR ADULT
RESPONSIBILITIES.
ALL RIGHT, LOOK.
IF YOU CAN KEEP YOUR GRADES UP,
YOU CAN TAKE THE JOB.
OH, THANKS, DAD.
YEAH, THANKS, MR. T.
WHY ARE YOU SO HAPPY?
D.J.'s GETTING BLOW-OUTS,
AND WE HAVE THE SAME SIZE FEET.
HI, SWEETHEART.
BEAUTIFUL.
LISTEN, MY FOLKS CALLED TODAY,
AND THEY HAVE THIS WACKY IDEA
THAT SINCE WE'RE ENGAGED,
WE SHOULD ACTUALLY SET A
DATE AND PLACE FOR THE WEDDING.
WELL, JUST SAY THE
MAGIC WORD... GRACELAND.
HONEY, I KNOW IT'S YOUR
DREAM TO GET MARRIED
IN THAT CRUSHED-VELVET
AMUSEMENT PARK,
BUT CONSIDER ALL THE BENEFITS
OF A WEDDING BACK
IN MY HOMETOWN,
VALENTINE, NEBRASKA.
NAME ONE.
IT'S NOT GRACELAND. OH, COME ON.
YOU'VE NEVER EVEN
SEEN GRACELAND.
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
YOU'RE 27-YEARS-OLD...
JESS, JESS!
WHAT?
QUICK, CAN I BORROW
YOUR CREDIT CARD?
I'M WAY OVER MY LIMIT,
AND THE SHOPPING NETWORK
IS OFFERING A SPECIAL
ON THE BARNEY RUBBLE
BATH COLLECTION.
NO WAY.
YOU STILL HAVEN'T PAID ME
FOR THAT CALIFORNIA
RAISIN CHESS SET.
JOEY, I'LL BUY YOU THE
RUBBLE BUBBLE BATH.
YOU WILL?
YES, BUT YOU HAVE TO SELL JESSE
ON THE IDEA OF A
WEDDING IN NEBRASKA.
OK. HOW WOULD I SELL NEBRASKA?
WUH, WUH.
WUH, YOU TWO KIDS
GETTING MARRIED?
WUH, CONSIDER NEBRASKA,
A DOWNRIGHT FRIENDLY PLACE
WITH DOWNRIGHT FRIENDLY FOLKS
WHERE THE CORN IS AS
HIGH AS AN ELEPHANT'S EYE
AND DAGNABIT, THE
SKY'S NOT CLOUDY ALL DAY.
YOU PICTURE IT, JESS, MY BOY.
JUST PICTURE IT. PICTURE IT.
HEY, GOAT.
YOU SEE MY FIANCEE AROUND HERE?
JESSE!
TIME TO GET HITCHED, FARM BOY.
BECK, YOU GOT ME DRESSED
UP LIKE A BEVERLY HILLBILLY.
YOU LOOK CUTER THAN A
HOUND DOG IN A HAIR NET.
READY OR NOT, HERE I COME.
HI, BABY.
HAVE MERCY.
PLANT A BIG WET
ONE ON ME, JETHRO.
NO WAY. I'M NOT GETTING
MARRIED ON HEE-HAW.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
JUST CHECKING.
JOSEPH, EXPLAIN TO MY FIANCEE
THE VIRTUES OF A CLASSY, ELEGANT
WEDDING AT GRACELAND, WON'T YOU?
OK. CLASSY AND ELEGANT.
IMAGINE YOURSELF AT GRACELAND...
THE LUXURIOUS, PALATIAL ESTATE
OF THE LATE, GREAT
KING OF ROCK AND ROLL,
ELVIS PRESLEY,
WHERE EVERY CORNER
OOZES ROMANCE...
FROM THE GOLD-PLATED
RACQUETBALL COURTS
TO THE NEWLY
ASTROTURFED JUNGLE ROOM.
WORTH OVER 9 ZILLION DOLLARS!
PICTURE IT, PICTURE
IT, PICTURE IT!
WHERE ARE YOU, DARLING?
COME OUT HERE,
BABY. LET ME SEE YOU.
OH, YEAH.
YOU LOOK LIKE A HUNK-A,
HUNK-A BURNING BRIDE, BABY.
JESS, ARE YOU SURE YOU
LIKE MY HAIR LIKE THIS?
I CAN BARELY HOLD MY HEAD UP.
OH, YOU LOOK PRETTIER THAN A FRIED PEANUT
BUTTER AND 'NANA SANDWICH, PRISCILLA.
JESS, MY NAME IS REBECCA.
SORRY, 'CILLA.
WISE MAN SAY ONLY FOOLS RUSH IN,
BUT I CAN'T HELP FALLING
IN LOVE WITH YOU, BABY.
SOMETHING DOESN'T FEEL
RIGHT ABOUT THIS WEDDING.
YEAH, YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY
RIGHT, PRISCILLA.
THAT BEEHIVE AIN'T HIGH ENOUGH.
LET'S JACK THAT
BABY UP A LITTLE BIT.
IT'S GOT TO BE FIT FOR A KING.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M
SAYING, BABY? I THINK YOU DO.
LET'S GET A FEW THINGS STRAIGHT.
MY NAME IS REBECCA, AND
I AM NOT GETTING MARRIED
WITH A HAIRDO LIKE
MARGE SIMPSON!
MARGE SIMPSON? WHAT
ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
OKAY, COME ON, YOU GUYS. HEY.
COME ON, THAT'S ENOUGH.
LISTEN, YOU'RE GETTING
MARRIED REAL SOON,
SO YOU BETTER
LEARN TO COMPROMISE.
NOW, CALL ME TOTALLY NUTTY,
BUT WHAT ABOUT HAVING A
WEDDING RIGHT HERE WHERE YOU LIVE,
IN SAN FRANCISCO?
WELL, THE KID'S GOT
SOMETHING THERE.
I MEAN, THIS IS WHERE WE MET
AND THIS IS WHERE
WE FELL IN LOVE.
YEAH, THIS IS WHERE
ALL OUR FRIENDS ARE.
LET'S DO IT.
ALL RIGHT, AND LET'S GET MARRIED
ON THE MOST ROMANTIC
DAY OF THE YEAR.
AW, PERFECT. ELVIS' BIRTHDAY.
NO. VALENTINE'S DAY.
AW, I LOVE IT.
JOEY, THANK YOU
FOR ALL YOUR HELP.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
NOW, WOULD SOMEBODY
PLEASE GIVE ME A CREDIT CARD.
IF I CALL NOW, THEY'LL THROW IN
A FREE BAM-BAM SOAP-ON-A-ROPE.
UH, THANKS, FRED.
HA HA HA HA HA.
I FEEL SO AT PEACE
NOW THAT WE FINALLY
MADE THIS DECISION.
YEAH. I CAN'T BELIEVE
WE'RE GETTING MARRIED
IN SIX WEEKS.
AAH!
SIX WEEKS!
WE HAVE A MILLION THINGS TO DO.
FIND A CHURCH, HIRE
A HALL, BUY A DRESS,
PICK OUT INVITATIONS, A BAND,
A CATERER, COCKTAIL NAPKINS...
BECKY, WHY DON'T WE ELOPE?
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
THEN WE'D NEED A
BALCONY, A LADDER,
A GETAWAY CAR, A FLASHLIGHT...
COME ON, ANTHONY,
SMILE FOR MOMMY, PLEASE.
PRETTY PLEASE WITH
NINJA TURTLES ON TOP?
JUST LEAVE THIS TO
US PROFESSIONALS.
OH, HAPPY HELPER?
HERE I AM, HAPPY TO HELP.
GREAT. GO GET ANTHONY TO GIVE US
A BIG TOT-SHOT SMILE.
HI, ANTHONY.
I'M D.J., THE HAPPY HELPER.
NOW, WHY DON'T YOU GIVE ME
A BIG, HAPPY SMILE
FOR YOUR PICTURE.
NO!
THAT'S NOT FUNNY.
I KNOW WHAT YOU NEED.
IT'S HOWIE THE HIPPO.
LOOK AT HOW HE CAN ZIPPO,
HOW HE CAN FLIPPO.
I REALLY FEEL LIKE A DIPPO.
THAT'S NOT FUNNY.
COME ON. I'VE HAD A ROUGH WEEK.
NOW, WHAT CAN I DO
TO MAKE YOU LAUGH?
BE A DUCK.
QUACK! QUACK!
QUACK! QUACK! QUACK!
OH, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL CHILD.
IS THAT GONNA BE CASH OR CHARGE?
CHECK.
OH, HAPPY HELPER.
KIMMY, DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO
COME BY EVERY DAY AND LAUGH AT ME?
I'M NOT LAUGHING AT YOU,
I'M LAUGHING WITH YOU.
ONLY YOU'RE NOT JOINING IN.
COME ON, TAKE A BREAK.
THOSE CUTE GUYS
WANT TO BUY US PIZZA.
I DON'T WANT ANYONE CUTE
SEEING ME LIKE THIS.
WHAT ABOUT AFTER WORK?
I HAVE TO GO HOME, EAT DINNER,
AND THEN TRY AND STAY
AWAKE LONG ENOUGH
TO STUDY FOR MY SCIENCE TEST.
POOR KID.
YOU'RE WORKING LIKE A DOG
AND DRESSING LIKE A DWEEB.
YOU MUST REALLY WANT
THOSE BLOW-OUTS BAD.
IT'S MORE THAN SHOES.
I'M TRYING TO BE A
RESPONSIBLE ADULT.
THEN IF I WERE YOU, I'D
LOSE THE CLOWN SUIT.
COME ON, BOYS.
COMET, IT'S NOT POLITE TO BEG.
NOW, SAY PLEASE.
VERY GOOD, COMET.
HEY, YOU FORGOT
TO SAY THANK YOU.
GOOD AFTERNOON, LADIES.
GOOD AFTERNOON, MICHELLE.
IS DAD HOME YET?
NO, BUT THANK YOU FOR ASKING.
WELL, AT LEAST I'LL STAY OUT OF
TROUBLE FOR A FEW MORE MINUTES.
D.J., YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOW
YOUR DAD THAT SCIENCE TEST.
YES, I DO.
I PROMISED HIM THAT
I'D RAISE MY GRADE,
AND HE KNOWS I'M GETTING
MY TEST BACK TODAY.
SO WHEN HE SEES
THIS... I'M DEAD.
THE FIRST "F" OF MY LIFE.
EXCUSE ME, BUT NO
ELBOWS ON THE TABLE.
WHEN MY DAD FINDS
OUT ABOUT THIS "F,"
HE GOING TO MAKE ME QUIT MY JOB.
YOU KNOW, NOW THAT I LOOK AT IT,
I DON'T THINK YOU GOT AN "F."
I BELIEVE THAT YOU GOT AN "A."
KIMMY, HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?
IT'S NOT POLITE TO YELL.
MICHELLE, I HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS
WITHOUT THE POLITE
POLICE ON MY TAIL.
SO JUST STAY OUT OF THIS.
YOU FORGOT TO SAY PLEASE.
THAT'S IT!
THIS IS NOT POLITE.
THIS IS NOT POLITE.
THIS IS NOT POLITE.
THIS IS NOT POLITE.
THANK YOU.
YOU ARE NOT WELCOME.
I HAVE TO GO TO WORK.
YOU KNOW, KIMMY, YOU REALLY
MESSED ME UP BY GIVING ME THAT "A."
NOW I CAN'T SHOW IT TO MY DAD.
WHY NOT? IT'S A PERFECT FORGERY.
KIMMY, DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?
WHAT YOU DID IS WRONG.
IT'S DISHONEST,
IT'S DECEITFUL, IT...
REALLY DOES LOOK LIKE AN "A."
QUACK! QUACK!
QUACK! QUACK! QUACK!
QUACK! QUACK!
QUACK! QUACK! QUACK!
SMILE, D.J.
OH, GREAT. MORE HUMILIATION.
EXCUSE ME.
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE?
WELL, WE WERE IN THE
NEIGHBORHOOD, AND I HAD MY CAMERA,
AND I THOUGHT WE'D JUST
STOP BY AND SAY HI. HI.
HI.
WELL, THANKS FOR STOPPING BY.
DO YOU KNOW YOU HAVE
A MOP ON YOUR HEAD?
YES. IT'S PART OF MY UNIFORM.
CAN I BORROW YOUR
UNIFORM NEXT HALLOWEEN?
WELL, I SHOULD GET BACK TO WORK.
WELL, BEFORE WE GO,
IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN...
AND I'M NOT...
WASN'T YOUR SCIENCE TEST
DUE BACK TODAY? HOW'D YOU DO?
I REALLY SHOULD
GET BACK TO WORK.
AW, COME ON, DEEJ.
TELL ME HOW YOU DID.
DID YOU BRING YOUR
TEST PAPER WITH YOU?
YEAH. I'LL SHOW YOU,
BUT THERE'S SOMETHING
I SHOULD REALLY TELL YOU.
YOU GOT AN "A"?
WAY TO GO!
THIS IS GOING RIGHT UP
THERE ON THE REFRIGERATOR.
DAD, THIS ISN'T...
YOU KNOW, SWEETIE, I'M A LITTLE
EMBARRASSED TO TELL YOU THIS,
BUT I HAD MY DOUBTS ABOUT YOU,
BUT YOU JUST PROVED TO ME
THAT YOU CAN HOLD DOWN A JOB
AND ACTUALLY IMPROVE
ON YOUR SCHOOLWORK.
I'VE NEVER BEEN SO PROUD
OF YOU, SWEETHEART.
NOW, WHAT WAS IT YOU
WANTED TO TELL ME?
UH, THERE'S A SALE ON
SPONGES DOWN AT BROOM BARN.
OH, WHAT BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN.
CAN I HELP YOU PEOPLE?
YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS.
WE HAD NO INTENTION OF
HAVING ANY PICTURES TAKEN,
BUT YOUR BRIGHT
YOUNG ASSISTANT HERE
CONVINCED ME TO GET SOME SHOTS
OF MY SWEET LITTLE
MICHELLE OVER THERE.
WHAT A FINE, FINE SALESPERSON
YOU HAVE IN THIS YOUNG LADY.
OK, HAPPY HELPER,
START HAPPY HELPING.
OK, LITTLE GIRL,
YOU'RE GOING TO GET
YOUR PICTURE TAKEN.
I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU,
THAT BRIGHT YOUNG LADY
IN THE CLOWN COSTUME,
SHE IS FABULOUS.
YOU OUGHT TO GIVE HER A RAISE.
WHAT THE HECK DO I KNOW?
I'VE NEVER SEEN HER
BEFORE IN MY LIFE.
SAY CHEESE.
YOU MEAN, SAY CHEESE, PLEASE.
SAY CHEESE, PLEASE.
CHEESE.
THIS IS AMAZING.
MY SWEET LITTLE MICHELLE HAS
NEVER SMILED IN HER ENTIRE LIFE.
CHEESE.
CHEESE.
MAY I HAVE THAT CUPCAKE PLEASE?
NO, YOU MAY NOT.
BUT I WAS POLITE,
AND I SAID, "PLEASE."
I WAS POLITE, TOO.
I SAID, "NO, YOU MAY NOT."
GUESS WHAT.
POLITENESS WEEK IS OVER!
HOW RUDE!
WHOA.
WHOA.
WHOA.
HEY, DEEJ.
HI, UNCLE JESSE.
SEE YOU GOT AN "A"
HERE ON YOUR SCIENCE.
IT WAS NOTHING.
LET'S HEAR WHAT AN "A"
PAPER SOUNDS LIKE, SHALL WE?
"PHOTOSYNTHESIS.
"PHOTOSYNTHESIS IS THE PROCESS
IN WHICH PHOTOS
ARE SYNTHESIZED."
HMM, I WONDER WHAT
AN "F" PAPER LOOKS LIKE.
ACTUALLY, MAYBE IT
LOOKS SOMETHING LIKE THIS.
HOW DID YOU KNOW?
PFF, HOW DID I KNOW?
YOU'RE TALKING TO A GUY
WHO USED TO CHANGE 40s TO 90s,
0s TO 100s.
IN FACT... THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.
ONE TIME I ACTUALLY GOT AWAY WITH
CHANGING THE WORD "AWFUL" TO "AWESOME."
THE POINT IS IT WAS
WRONG, IT WAS WRONG.
THE POINT IS IT WAS WRONG, AND
WHAT YOU DID WAS WRONG TOO.
SAME THING. WRONG.
I KNOW, BUT KIMMY WAS THE
ONE WHO CHANGED THE GRADE.
YES, BUT YOU DIDN'T DO
ANYTHING ABOUT IT, NOW, DID YOU.
SO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE
TO DO WITH THIS PAPER, DON'T YOU.
KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT
AND DO BETTER NEXT TIME?
WHERE'S DAD?
IN THE LIVING ROOM
ROTATING COUCH CUSHIONS.
HI, DAD.
HEY, DEEJ. HERE'S
A HELPFUL HINT.
ALWAYS ROTATE YOUR COUCH
CUSHIONS EVERY 25,000 SITS.
DAD, WE NEED TO TALK.
YOU KNOW WHAT I
LIKE ABOUT YOU BEST?
MY CHARM? MY RUGGED GOOD LOOKS?
YOUR FORGIVING NATURE.
WHAT DID YOU DO?
HERE GOES.
MY SCIENCE GRADE WAS AN "F,"
AND KIMMY CHANGED IT TO AN "A."
I'M JUST GUESSING
SHE DOESN'T HAVE
THE AUTHORITY TO DO THIS.
DAD, I'M SORRY.
BUT WITH WORK AND
ALL MY OTHER CLASSES,
I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO
STUDY FOR MY SCIENCE TEST.
THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE COME TO ME
AND TOLD ME WHAT WAS GOING ON.
D.J. WE HAD AN UNDERSTANDING.
YOU WANTED TO BE A
RESPONSIBLE ADULT,
AND THIS IS THE LEAST RESPONSIBLE
THING YOU COULD HAVE DONE.
I JUST WANTED TO PROVE THAT
I COULD EARN MY OWN MONEY.
WELL, THAT'S ALL
OUT THE WINDOW NOW
BECAUSE YOU'RE GONNA
HAVE TO QUIT YOUR JOB
AND NO HANGING OUT AT THE MALL
UNTIL YOU PULL UP THAT GRADE.
OK. GUESS I'LL GO BACK
TO BEING A KID AGAIN.
DEEJ, THERE'S NOTHING
WRONG WITH BEING A KID.
YOU SHOULD ENJOY IT.
YOU GOT THE REST OF
YOUR LIFE TO BE AN ADULT.
WELL, I GUESS IF BEING AN ADULT
MEANS WEARING A
RED MOP ON MY HEAD,
I COULD HANDLE BEING
A KID A LITTLE LONGER.
IN CASE I FORGOT TO MENTION IT,
YOU'RE A PRETTY GREAT KID.
THANKS, DAD.
WELL, I GUESS THIS IS MY
FIRST AND LAST PAYCHECK.
YOU GONNA USE IT TO HELP
PAY FOR THOSE BLOW-OUTS?
ARE YOU KIDDING?
PAY $160 FOR SHOES?
DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH
QUACKING AND WADDLING
I HAD TO DO TO EARN THIS MONEY?
IT'S GOING IN THE BANK.
THAT'S GOOD NEWS.
SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE LEARNING
THE VALUE OF A DOLLAR.
I AM, AND I APPRECIATE
HOW YOU'RE GOING TO FEEL
WHEN I ASK YOU THIS.
DAD, CAN I HAVE A
RAISE IN MY ALLOWANCE?
YOU KNOW, HONEY? BACK
TO THOSE COUCH CUSHIONS.
THINGS ARE REALLY EXPENSIVE
THESE DAYS, YOU KNOW?
♪ AHH, AHH, AHH, AHH ♪
CAPTIONING MADE
POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
♪ AHH, AHH, AHH, AHH ♪
♪ DO BE DO BA BA DA ♪♪
MY TURN.
AW, I KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU.
YOU WANT TO BE JUST LIKE
YOUR UNCLE JESSE, RIGHT?
OKAY, HERE WE GO.
SIT OVER HERE, GRAB THE STICKS.
HERE... THERE.
ALL RIGHT, NOW, WHAT YOU DO
IS START OFF ON THE BASS DRUM.
DO 1 AND 3 ON THE BASS
DRUM, 2 AND 4 ON THE SNARE,
8s ON THE HIGH-HAT, DO A BIG
FLOURISH, AND END WITH A CYMBAL.
ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?
YEAH, FORGET ALL THAT.
JUST BANG THE HECK OUT OF 'EM.
ROCK 'N' ROLL!
WE LOVE YOU, SAN FRANCISCO!
♪ AHH, AHH, AHH, AHH ♪
♪ AHH ♪
♪ WHATEVER HAPPENED
TO PREDICTABILITY ♪
♪ THE MILKMAN, THE PAPERBOY ♪
♪ EVENIN' TV ♪
♪ HOW DID I GET DELIVERED HERE ♪
♪ SOMEBODY TELL ME, PLEASE ♪
♪ THIS OLD WORLD'S ♪
♪ CONFUSIN' ME ♪
♪ CLOUDS AS MEAN
AS YOU'VE EVER SEEN ♪
♪ AIN'T A BIRD WHO
KNOWS YOUR TUNE ♪
♪ THEN A LITTLE VOICE
INSIDE YOU WHISPERS ♪
♪ KID, DON'T SELL YOUR
DREAMS SO SOON ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ THERE'S A HEART ♪
♪ A HAND TO HOLD ONTO ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ THERE'S A FACE OF
SOMEBODY WHO NEEDS YOU ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LOST OUT THERE ♪
♪ AND YOU'RE ALL ALONE ♪
♪ A LIGHT IS WAITIN' ♪
♪ TO CARRY YOU HOME ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ DO BE DO BA BA DA ♪♪
CAPTIONING MADE
POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
HEY, STEPH.
WE JUST GOT BACK FROM PRESCHOOL,
AND YOUR SISTER MICHELLE
HAS SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU.
WANT TO SEE WHAT I GOT?
SURE, WHY NOT?
YOU HAVE TO SAY PLEASE.
I'M NOT THAT INTERESTED.
STEPH, JUST PLAY ALONG.
IT'S POLITENESS
WEEK IN PRESCHOOL.
I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET OFFICER
MICHELLE OF THE POLITE POLICE.
I'LL BE WATCHING YOU, MISTER.
STEPHANIE... HAVE
A VERY NICE DAY.
HI.
HEY.
DAD, BOY, I MISSED YOU.
HOW'S THE GREATEST DAD IN THE
HISTORY OF DADS FEELING TODAY?
VERY SUSPICIOUS.
COMPLIMENT HIM ON HIS
SHOE, SOCK, PANT COMBINATION.
DADS LOVE THAT.
DAD, SIT DOWN.
MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE.
CAREFUL, DAD.
SHE NEEDS MONEY AND LOTS OF IT.
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
DEEJ, WE GO BACK EIGHT YEARS.
WE ALL KNOW WHEN
IT'S KISS-UP TIME.
ALL RIGHT. HOW MUCH?
WELL, YOU HAVE TO KNOW THAT
THIS MONEY'S NOT FOR ANYTHING FUN.
IT'S FOR CLOTHES... A
BASIC NECESSITY OF LIFE.
HOW MUCH?
WELL, BEFORE I TELL YOU
THE ACTUAL DOLLAR AMOUNT,
YOU HAVE TO KNOW THAT THESE ARE
THE WORLD'S COOLEST TENNIS SHOES.
HOW MUCH?
ONLY $80... PER SHOE.
WHY ARE WE LAUGHING?
'CAUSE FOR A SECOND
THERE I THOUGHT
YOU ACTUALLY ASKED ME
FOR $160 FOR SNEAKERS.
I DID.
BUT THESE AREN'T JUST SNEAKERS.
THESE ARE BLOW-OUTS.
BLOW-OUTS ARE SO RAD.
THEY ACTUALLY INHALE
AND EXHALE AS YOU WALK.
AND IF I DON'T GET THESE,
I'M GONNA BE A TOTAL GEEK.
YOU KNOW HOW THAT FEELS, MR. T.
TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE.
DEEJ, YOU DON'T ALWAYS
HAVE TO FOLLOW THE CROWD.
WHEN I WAS A BOY
AND EVERYBODY WAS
WASTING THEIR ALLOWANCE ON
THOSE EVEL KNIEVEL JUMPSUITS,
I WENT OUT AND I
BOUGHT SOME SENSIBLE
SANSABELT PANTS WITH
AN ADJUSTABLE WAISTBAND,
A STYLE STILL WORN TODAY
BY SOME OF AMERICA'S
FINEST BOWLERS.
TIME FOR PLAN "B."
DAD, WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT
IF I NEVER HAD TO WEASEL
MONEY OUT OF YOU AGAIN?
I LIKE PLAN "B" SO FAR.
I CAN EARN MY OWN
MONEY BY GETTING A JOB.
THERE'S A PHOTOGRAPHER
DOWN AT THE MALL,
AND HE SAID THAT I COULD
BE HIS PART-TIME ASSISTANT.
DEEJ, WHAT ABOUT
YOUR SCHOOLWORK?
YOUR GRADE IN SCIENCE
HAS BEEN SLIPPING LATELY.
I GIVE YOU MY PERSONAL GUARANTEE
THAT D.J. WILL RAISE
HER GRADE IN SCIENCE.
OH, THE GIBBLER GUARANTEE.
OH, WELL, THAT
CHANGES EVERYTHING.
HEY, DAD, COME ON.
I'M 14 YEARS OLD.
I'M READY FOR ADULT
RESPONSIBILITIES.
ALL RIGHT, LOOK.
IF YOU CAN KEEP YOUR GRADES UP,
YOU CAN TAKE THE JOB.
OH, THANKS, DAD.
YEAH, THANKS, MR. T.
WHY ARE YOU SO HAPPY?
D.J.'s GETTING BLOW-OUTS,
AND WE HAVE THE SAME SIZE FEET.
HI, SWEETHEART.
BEAUTIFUL.
LISTEN, MY FOLKS CALLED TODAY,
AND THEY HAVE THIS WACKY IDEA
THAT SINCE WE'RE ENGAGED,
WE SHOULD ACTUALLY SET A
DATE AND PLACE FOR THE WEDDING.
WELL, JUST SAY THE
MAGIC WORD... GRACELAND.
HONEY, I KNOW IT'S YOUR
DREAM TO GET MARRIED
IN THAT CRUSHED-VELVET
AMUSEMENT PARK,
BUT CONSIDER ALL THE BENEFITS
OF A WEDDING BACK
IN MY HOMETOWN,
VALENTINE, NEBRASKA.
NAME ONE.
IT'S NOT GRACELAND. OH, COME ON.
YOU'VE NEVER EVEN
SEEN GRACELAND.
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
YOU'RE 27-YEARS-OLD...
JESS, JESS!
WHAT?
QUICK, CAN I BORROW
YOUR CREDIT CARD?
I'M WAY OVER MY LIMIT,
AND THE SHOPPING NETWORK
IS OFFERING A SPECIAL
ON THE BARNEY RUBBLE
BATH COLLECTION.
NO WAY.
YOU STILL HAVEN'T PAID ME
FOR THAT CALIFORNIA
RAISIN CHESS SET.
JOEY, I'LL BUY YOU THE
RUBBLE BUBBLE BATH.
YOU WILL?
YES, BUT YOU HAVE TO SELL JESSE
ON THE IDEA OF A
WEDDING IN NEBRASKA.
OK. HOW WOULD I SELL NEBRASKA?
WUH, WUH.
WUH, YOU TWO KIDS
GETTING MARRIED?
WUH, CONSIDER NEBRASKA,
A DOWNRIGHT FRIENDLY PLACE
WITH DOWNRIGHT FRIENDLY FOLKS
WHERE THE CORN IS AS
HIGH AS AN ELEPHANT'S EYE
AND DAGNABIT, THE
SKY'S NOT CLOUDY ALL DAY.
YOU PICTURE IT, JESS, MY BOY.
JUST PICTURE IT. PICTURE IT.
HEY, GOAT.
YOU SEE MY FIANCEE AROUND HERE?
JESSE!
TIME TO GET HITCHED, FARM BOY.
BECK, YOU GOT ME DRESSED
UP LIKE A BEVERLY HILLBILLY.
YOU LOOK CUTER THAN A
HOUND DOG IN A HAIR NET.
READY OR NOT, HERE I COME.
HI, BABY.
HAVE MERCY.
PLANT A BIG WET
ONE ON ME, JETHRO.
NO WAY. I'M NOT GETTING
MARRIED ON HEE-HAW.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
JUST CHECKING.
JOSEPH, EXPLAIN TO MY FIANCEE
THE VIRTUES OF A CLASSY, ELEGANT
WEDDING AT GRACELAND, WON'T YOU?
OK. CLASSY AND ELEGANT.
IMAGINE YOURSELF AT GRACELAND...
THE LUXURIOUS, PALATIAL ESTATE
OF THE LATE, GREAT
KING OF ROCK AND ROLL,
ELVIS PRESLEY,
WHERE EVERY CORNER
OOZES ROMANCE...
FROM THE GOLD-PLATED
RACQUETBALL COURTS
TO THE NEWLY
ASTROTURFED JUNGLE ROOM.
WORTH OVER 9 ZILLION DOLLARS!
PICTURE IT, PICTURE
IT, PICTURE IT!
WHERE ARE YOU, DARLING?
COME OUT HERE,
BABY. LET ME SEE YOU.
OH, YEAH.
YOU LOOK LIKE A HUNK-A,
HUNK-A BURNING BRIDE, BABY.
JESS, ARE YOU SURE YOU
LIKE MY HAIR LIKE THIS?
I CAN BARELY HOLD MY HEAD UP.
OH, YOU LOOK PRETTIER THAN A FRIED PEANUT
BUTTER AND 'NANA SANDWICH, PRISCILLA.
JESS, MY NAME IS REBECCA.
SORRY, 'CILLA.
WISE MAN SAY ONLY FOOLS RUSH IN,
BUT I CAN'T HELP FALLING
IN LOVE WITH YOU, BABY.
SOMETHING DOESN'T FEEL
RIGHT ABOUT THIS WEDDING.
YEAH, YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY
RIGHT, PRISCILLA.
THAT BEEHIVE AIN'T HIGH ENOUGH.
LET'S JACK THAT
BABY UP A LITTLE BIT.
IT'S GOT TO BE FIT FOR A KING.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M
SAYING, BABY? I THINK YOU DO.
LET'S GET A FEW THINGS STRAIGHT.
MY NAME IS REBECCA, AND
I AM NOT GETTING MARRIED
WITH A HAIRDO LIKE
MARGE SIMPSON!
MARGE SIMPSON? WHAT
ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
OKAY, COME ON, YOU GUYS. HEY.
COME ON, THAT'S ENOUGH.
LISTEN, YOU'RE GETTING
MARRIED REAL SOON,
SO YOU BETTER
LEARN TO COMPROMISE.
NOW, CALL ME TOTALLY NUTTY,
BUT WHAT ABOUT HAVING A
WEDDING RIGHT HERE WHERE YOU LIVE,
IN SAN FRANCISCO?
WELL, THE KID'S GOT
SOMETHING THERE.
I MEAN, THIS IS WHERE WE MET
AND THIS IS WHERE
WE FELL IN LOVE.
YEAH, THIS IS WHERE
ALL OUR FRIENDS ARE.
LET'S DO IT.
ALL RIGHT, AND LET'S GET MARRIED
ON THE MOST ROMANTIC
DAY OF THE YEAR.
AW, PERFECT. ELVIS' BIRTHDAY.
NO. VALENTINE'S DAY.
AW, I LOVE IT.
JOEY, THANK YOU
FOR ALL YOUR HELP.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
NOW, WOULD SOMEBODY
PLEASE GIVE ME A CREDIT CARD.
IF I CALL NOW, THEY'LL THROW IN
A FREE BAM-BAM SOAP-ON-A-ROPE.
UH, THANKS, FRED.
HA HA HA HA HA.
I FEEL SO AT PEACE
NOW THAT WE FINALLY
MADE THIS DECISION.
YEAH. I CAN'T BELIEVE
WE'RE GETTING MARRIED
IN SIX WEEKS.
AAH!
SIX WEEKS!
WE HAVE A MILLION THINGS TO DO.
FIND A CHURCH, HIRE
A HALL, BUY A DRESS,
PICK OUT INVITATIONS, A BAND,
A CATERER, COCKTAIL NAPKINS...
BECKY, WHY DON'T WE ELOPE?
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
THEN WE'D NEED A
BALCONY, A LADDER,
A GETAWAY CAR, A FLASHLIGHT...
COME ON, ANTHONY,
SMILE FOR MOMMY, PLEASE.
PRETTY PLEASE WITH
NINJA TURTLES ON TOP?
JUST LEAVE THIS TO
US PROFESSIONALS.
OH, HAPPY HELPER?
HERE I AM, HAPPY TO HELP.
GREAT. GO GET ANTHONY TO GIVE US
A BIG TOT-SHOT SMILE.
HI, ANTHONY.
I'M D.J., THE HAPPY HELPER.
NOW, WHY DON'T YOU GIVE ME
A BIG, HAPPY SMILE
FOR YOUR PICTURE.
NO!
THAT'S NOT FUNNY.
I KNOW WHAT YOU NEED.
IT'S HOWIE THE HIPPO.
LOOK AT HOW HE CAN ZIPPO,
HOW HE CAN FLIPPO.
I REALLY FEEL LIKE A DIPPO.
THAT'S NOT FUNNY.
COME ON. I'VE HAD A ROUGH WEEK.
NOW, WHAT CAN I DO
TO MAKE YOU LAUGH?
BE A DUCK.
QUACK! QUACK!
QUACK! QUACK! QUACK!
OH, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL CHILD.
IS THAT GONNA BE CASH OR CHARGE?
CHECK.
OH, HAPPY HELPER.
KIMMY, DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO
COME BY EVERY DAY AND LAUGH AT ME?
I'M NOT LAUGHING AT YOU,
I'M LAUGHING WITH YOU.
ONLY YOU'RE NOT JOINING IN.
COME ON, TAKE A BREAK.
THOSE CUTE GUYS
WANT TO BUY US PIZZA.
I DON'T WANT ANYONE CUTE
SEEING ME LIKE THIS.
WHAT ABOUT AFTER WORK?
I HAVE TO GO HOME, EAT DINNER,
AND THEN TRY AND STAY
AWAKE LONG ENOUGH
TO STUDY FOR MY SCIENCE TEST.
POOR KID.
YOU'RE WORKING LIKE A DOG
AND DRESSING LIKE A DWEEB.
YOU MUST REALLY WANT
THOSE BLOW-OUTS BAD.
IT'S MORE THAN SHOES.
I'M TRYING TO BE A
RESPONSIBLE ADULT.
THEN IF I WERE YOU, I'D
LOSE THE CLOWN SUIT.
COME ON, BOYS.
COMET, IT'S NOT POLITE TO BEG.
NOW, SAY PLEASE.
VERY GOOD, COMET.
HEY, YOU FORGOT
TO SAY THANK YOU.
GOOD AFTERNOON, LADIES.
GOOD AFTERNOON, MICHELLE.
IS DAD HOME YET?
NO, BUT THANK YOU FOR ASKING.
WELL, AT LEAST I'LL STAY OUT OF
TROUBLE FOR A FEW MORE MINUTES.
D.J., YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOW
YOUR DAD THAT SCIENCE TEST.
YES, I DO.
I PROMISED HIM THAT
I'D RAISE MY GRADE,
AND HE KNOWS I'M GETTING
MY TEST BACK TODAY.
SO WHEN HE SEES
THIS... I'M DEAD.
THE FIRST "F" OF MY LIFE.
EXCUSE ME, BUT NO
ELBOWS ON THE TABLE.
WHEN MY DAD FINDS
OUT ABOUT THIS "F,"
HE GOING TO MAKE ME QUIT MY JOB.
YOU KNOW, NOW THAT I LOOK AT IT,
I DON'T THINK YOU GOT AN "F."
I BELIEVE THAT YOU GOT AN "A."
KIMMY, HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?
IT'S NOT POLITE TO YELL.
MICHELLE, I HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS
WITHOUT THE POLITE
POLICE ON MY TAIL.
SO JUST STAY OUT OF THIS.
YOU FORGOT TO SAY PLEASE.
THAT'S IT!
THIS IS NOT POLITE.
THIS IS NOT POLITE.
THIS IS NOT POLITE.
THIS IS NOT POLITE.
THANK YOU.
YOU ARE NOT WELCOME.
I HAVE TO GO TO WORK.
YOU KNOW, KIMMY, YOU REALLY
MESSED ME UP BY GIVING ME THAT "A."
NOW I CAN'T SHOW IT TO MY DAD.
WHY NOT? IT'S A PERFECT FORGERY.
KIMMY, DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?
WHAT YOU DID IS WRONG.
IT'S DISHONEST,
IT'S DECEITFUL, IT...
REALLY DOES LOOK LIKE AN "A."
QUACK! QUACK!
QUACK! QUACK! QUACK!
QUACK! QUACK!
QUACK! QUACK! QUACK!
SMILE, D.J.
OH, GREAT. MORE HUMILIATION.
EXCUSE ME.
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE?
WELL, WE WERE IN THE
NEIGHBORHOOD, AND I HAD MY CAMERA,
AND I THOUGHT WE'D JUST
STOP BY AND SAY HI. HI.
HI.
WELL, THANKS FOR STOPPING BY.
DO YOU KNOW YOU HAVE
A MOP ON YOUR HEAD?
YES. IT'S PART OF MY UNIFORM.
CAN I BORROW YOUR
UNIFORM NEXT HALLOWEEN?
WELL, I SHOULD GET BACK TO WORK.
WELL, BEFORE WE GO,
IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN...
AND I'M NOT...
WASN'T YOUR SCIENCE TEST
DUE BACK TODAY? HOW'D YOU DO?
I REALLY SHOULD
GET BACK TO WORK.
AW, COME ON, DEEJ.
TELL ME HOW YOU DID.
DID YOU BRING YOUR
TEST PAPER WITH YOU?
YEAH. I'LL SHOW YOU,
BUT THERE'S SOMETHING
I SHOULD REALLY TELL YOU.
YOU GOT AN "A"?
WAY TO GO!
THIS IS GOING RIGHT UP
THERE ON THE REFRIGERATOR.
DAD, THIS ISN'T...
YOU KNOW, SWEETIE, I'M A LITTLE
EMBARRASSED TO TELL YOU THIS,
BUT I HAD MY DOUBTS ABOUT YOU,
BUT YOU JUST PROVED TO ME
THAT YOU CAN HOLD DOWN A JOB
AND ACTUALLY IMPROVE
ON YOUR SCHOOLWORK.
I'VE NEVER BEEN SO PROUD
OF YOU, SWEETHEART.
NOW, WHAT WAS IT YOU
WANTED TO TELL ME?
UH, THERE'S A SALE ON
SPONGES DOWN AT BROOM BARN.
OH, WHAT BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN.
CAN I HELP YOU PEOPLE?
YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS.
WE HAD NO INTENTION OF
HAVING ANY PICTURES TAKEN,
BUT YOUR BRIGHT
YOUNG ASSISTANT HERE
CONVINCED ME TO GET SOME SHOTS
OF MY SWEET LITTLE
MICHELLE OVER THERE.
WHAT A FINE, FINE SALESPERSON
YOU HAVE IN THIS YOUNG LADY.
OK, HAPPY HELPER,
START HAPPY HELPING.
OK, LITTLE GIRL,
YOU'RE GOING TO GET
YOUR PICTURE TAKEN.
I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU,
THAT BRIGHT YOUNG LADY
IN THE CLOWN COSTUME,
SHE IS FABULOUS.
YOU OUGHT TO GIVE HER A RAISE.
WHAT THE HECK DO I KNOW?
I'VE NEVER SEEN HER
BEFORE IN MY LIFE.
SAY CHEESE.
YOU MEAN, SAY CHEESE, PLEASE.
SAY CHEESE, PLEASE.
CHEESE.
THIS IS AMAZING.
MY SWEET LITTLE MICHELLE HAS
NEVER SMILED IN HER ENTIRE LIFE.
CHEESE.
CHEESE.
MAY I HAVE THAT CUPCAKE PLEASE?
NO, YOU MAY NOT.
BUT I WAS POLITE,
AND I SAID, "PLEASE."
I WAS POLITE, TOO.
I SAID, "NO, YOU MAY NOT."
GUESS WHAT.
POLITENESS WEEK IS OVER!
HOW RUDE!
WHOA.
WHOA.
WHOA.
HEY, DEEJ.
HI, UNCLE JESSE.
SEE YOU GOT AN "A"
HERE ON YOUR SCIENCE.
IT WAS NOTHING.
LET'S HEAR WHAT AN "A"
PAPER SOUNDS LIKE, SHALL WE?
"PHOTOSYNTHESIS.
"PHOTOSYNTHESIS IS THE PROCESS
IN WHICH PHOTOS
ARE SYNTHESIZED."
HMM, I WONDER WHAT
AN "F" PAPER LOOKS LIKE.
ACTUALLY, MAYBE IT
LOOKS SOMETHING LIKE THIS.
HOW DID YOU KNOW?
PFF, HOW DID I KNOW?
YOU'RE TALKING TO A GUY
WHO USED TO CHANGE 40s TO 90s,
0s TO 100s.
IN FACT... THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.
ONE TIME I ACTUALLY GOT AWAY WITH
CHANGING THE WORD "AWFUL" TO "AWESOME."
THE POINT IS IT WAS
WRONG, IT WAS WRONG.
THE POINT IS IT WAS WRONG, AND
WHAT YOU DID WAS WRONG TOO.
SAME THING. WRONG.
I KNOW, BUT KIMMY WAS THE
ONE WHO CHANGED THE GRADE.
YES, BUT YOU DIDN'T DO
ANYTHING ABOUT IT, NOW, DID YOU.
SO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE
TO DO WITH THIS PAPER, DON'T YOU.
KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT
AND DO BETTER NEXT TIME?
WHERE'S DAD?
IN THE LIVING ROOM
ROTATING COUCH CUSHIONS.
HI, DAD.
HEY, DEEJ. HERE'S
A HELPFUL HINT.
ALWAYS ROTATE YOUR COUCH
CUSHIONS EVERY 25,000 SITS.
DAD, WE NEED TO TALK.
YOU KNOW WHAT I
LIKE ABOUT YOU BEST?
MY CHARM? MY RUGGED GOOD LOOKS?
YOUR FORGIVING NATURE.
WHAT DID YOU DO?
HERE GOES.
MY SCIENCE GRADE WAS AN "F,"
AND KIMMY CHANGED IT TO AN "A."
I'M JUST GUESSING
SHE DOESN'T HAVE
THE AUTHORITY TO DO THIS.
DAD, I'M SORRY.
BUT WITH WORK AND
ALL MY OTHER CLASSES,
I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO
STUDY FOR MY SCIENCE TEST.
THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE COME TO ME
AND TOLD ME WHAT WAS GOING ON.
D.J. WE HAD AN UNDERSTANDING.
YOU WANTED TO BE A
RESPONSIBLE ADULT,
AND THIS IS THE LEAST RESPONSIBLE
THING YOU COULD HAVE DONE.
I JUST WANTED TO PROVE THAT
I COULD EARN MY OWN MONEY.
WELL, THAT'S ALL
OUT THE WINDOW NOW
BECAUSE YOU'RE GONNA
HAVE TO QUIT YOUR JOB
AND NO HANGING OUT AT THE MALL
UNTIL YOU PULL UP THAT GRADE.
OK. GUESS I'LL GO BACK
TO BEING A KID AGAIN.
DEEJ, THERE'S NOTHING
WRONG WITH BEING A KID.
YOU SHOULD ENJOY IT.
YOU GOT THE REST OF
YOUR LIFE TO BE AN ADULT.
WELL, I GUESS IF BEING AN ADULT
MEANS WEARING A
RED MOP ON MY HEAD,
I COULD HANDLE BEING
A KID A LITTLE LONGER.
IN CASE I FORGOT TO MENTION IT,
YOU'RE A PRETTY GREAT KID.
THANKS, DAD.
WELL, I GUESS THIS IS MY
FIRST AND LAST PAYCHECK.
YOU GONNA USE IT TO HELP
PAY FOR THOSE BLOW-OUTS?
ARE YOU KIDDING?
PAY $160 FOR SHOES?
DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH
QUACKING AND WADDLING
I HAD TO DO TO EARN THIS MONEY?
IT'S GOING IN THE BANK.
THAT'S GOOD NEWS.
SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE LEARNING
THE VALUE OF A DOLLAR.
I AM, AND I APPRECIATE
HOW YOU'RE GOING TO FEEL
WHEN I ASK YOU THIS.
DAD, CAN I HAVE A
RAISE IN MY ALLOWANCE?
YOU KNOW, HONEY? BACK
TO THOSE COUCH CUSHIONS.
THINGS ARE REALLY EXPENSIVE
THESE DAYS, YOU KNOW?
♪ AHH, AHH, AHH, AHH ♪
CAPTIONING MADE
POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
♪ AHH, AHH, AHH, AHH ♪
♪ DO BE DO BA BA DA ♪♪