Full House (1987–1995): Season 1, Episode 4 - The Return of Grandma - full transcript
An untimely visit from the guys' mothers turns the house upside down.
CAPTIONING MADE
POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
♪ WHATEVER HAPPENED
TO PREDICTABILITY ♪
♪ THE MILKMAN, THE
PAPER BOY, EVENING TV ♪
♪ HOW DID I GET DELIVERED HERE ♪
♪ SOMEBODY TELL ME, PLEASE ♪
♪ THIS OLD WORLD'S
CONFUSING ME ♪
♪ CLOUDS AS MEAN
AS YOU'VE EVER SEEN ♪
♪ THERE AIN'T A BIRD
WHO KNOWS YOUR TUNE ♪
♪ THEN A LITTLE VOICE
INSIDE YOU WHISPERS ♪
♪ KID, DON'T SELL YOUR
DREAMS SO SOON ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ THERE'S A HEART,
THERE'S A HEART ♪
♪ A HAND TO HOLD ONTO ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ THERE'S A FACE ♪
♪ OF SOMEBODY WHO NEEDS YOU ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LOST OUT THERE ♪
♪ AND YOU'RE ALL ALONE ♪
♪ A LIGHT IS WAITING
TO CARRY YOU HOME ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ DOOBIE DOO BAH BAH DAH ♪
CEREAL, CARTOONS, PAJAMAS.
THIS IS WHY GOD
CREATED SATURDAY.
LET'S WATCH MTV.
NO. LET'S WATCH BUGS BUNNY.
BUT, STEPH, BUGS
BUNNY IS KID STUFF.
WE GOT TO WATCH YOGI BEAR.
BUT I LIKE BUGS BUNNY.
YEAH, BUT, STEPH, EVERY
EPISODE IS THE SAME.
ELMER FUDD SAYS,
"WHY, YOU PESKY WABBIT."
THEN HE TAKES A SHOT AT BUGS.
THEN YOSEMITE SAM COMES IN.
"OOH, AH HATE THAT RABBIT."
THEN HE TAKES A SHOT AT BUGS.
I MEAN, WITH ALL THAT
SHOOTING GOING ON,
I DON'T KNOW WHY BUGS
EVER POPS HIS HEAD
OUT OF THAT HOLE.
LET'S FACE IT. THE
RABBIT HAS A DEATH WISH.
BETTER THAN WATCHING YOGI
STEAL THE SAME PICNIC BASKET.
BORING.
MORNING, KIDS.
HI, DAD. HI, DAD.
I DON'T REALLY SEE YOU
EATING CEREAL OUT OF POTS
WITH WOODEN IMPLEMENTS, DO I?
YES, YOU DO.
GREAT. AFTER BREAKFAST,
WHY DON'T WE JUST
TAKE THIS LAUNDRY
DOWN TO THE BAY AND BEAT
IT AGAINST SOME ROCKS?
JOEY, CAN YOU COME
WITH ME RIGHT NOW
INTO THE KITCHEN, PLEASE?
WHAT, NOW? I'LL MISS
THE START OF YOGI.
IT'S NOT AGATHA CHRISTIE.
YOU'LL CATCH UP.
GIRLS, TAKE ACCURATE NOTES.
WHA-HO-HO!
IT'S HOWDY DIRTY TIME.
JOEY, THE DEAL WE MADE WAS,
THIS IS YOUR WEEK TO
TAKE CARE OF THE DISHES.
I'M JUST WAITING
TILL THE DISHWASHER'S FULL.
THERE. NOW WE WON'T
BE WASTING WATER.
OF COURSE WE WON'T.
THERE'S NO ROOM FOR WATER.
BOY, WHAT A NIGHT.
JESSE, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE GONNA
TAKE CARE OF THE LAUNDRY.
I DID. I DID MINE.
WHAT ABOUT EVERYBODY
ELSE'S LAUNDRY?
LOOKS TO ME LIKE THEY
HAVEN'T TOUCHED IT.
THE LAZY BUMS.
FELLAS, LET ME TELL
YOU ABOUT THIS STORY,
ALL RIGHT?
LAST NIGHT, MY BAND'S PLAYING
THIS GIG IN CHINATOWN.
A SWEET AND SOUR
16 PARTY, IF YOU WILL.
ANYWAY, I'M CRUISING
HOME ON MY HARLEY, RIGHT?
I COME TO A RED LIGHT, I STOP.
GREAT STORY.
AND YOU TOLD IT GREAT.
FELLAS, I'M BUILDING.
I'M BUILDING.
ANYWAY, THE LIGHT
TURNS GREEN, RIGHT?
I TRY TO MOVE. I CAN'T.
THERE'S SOMETHING
WEDGED UNDER MY TIRE.
JUST THEN THIS
RUNAWAY STREET CLEANER
COMES BARRELING
THROUGH THE INTERSECTION
RIGHT WHERE I WOULD HAVE BEEN.
I CAME THIS CLOSE TO BEING
A REALLY CLEAN DEAD GUY.
FELLAS, I'D LIKE TO
INTRODUCE TO YOU
THE LITTLE DUDE
THAT SAVED MY LIFE...
BUBBA!
I LOVE THIS AMPHIBIAN.
YOU JUST HATE COMING
HOME ALONE, DON'T YOU?
I GOT TO GET MY
GUITAR. HOLD BUBBA.
KEEP HIM HAPPY. IT
JUST MAY SAVE YOUR LIFE.
D.J.: JOEY, WHERE ARE YOU?
DON'T LET THE GIRLS SEE HIM.
THEY'RE GONNA WANT TO KEEP HIM.
HIDE HIM, HIDE HIM.
THE POT. UNDER THE POT.
GREAT IDEA.
OK.
I DON'T SEE A TURTLE.
ACT CASUAL.
OH, YEAH, NONCHALANT.
GOOD WORD. NONCHALANT.
JOEY, YOGI MAY BE SMARTER
THAN THE AVERAGE BEAR,
BUT HE'S MUCH DUMBER
THAN THE AVERAGE 3-YEAR-OLD.
WHAT'S THAT?
OH, THAT?
THAT'S, UH... IT'S DINNER.
IT'S ROAST BEEF.
YEAH. ROAST BEEF.
AND WHERE IS OUR
ROAST BEEF GOING?
IT'S GOING TO THE OVEN.
ROAST BEEF COMES FROM TURTLE?
NOT MY TURTLE, IT DOESN'T.
I LOVE THIS AMPHIBIAN.
I LOVE HIM, TOO.
CAN WE KEEP HIM?
OF COURSE WE CAN
KEEP HIM. BUBBA'S A HERO.
UNCLE JESSE, WE'LL TAKE
CARE OF HIM FOR YOU.
ALL RIGHT.
ARE YOU SURE, HONEY?
THAT'S A BIG RESPONSIBILITY.
NO PROBLEM.
LET'S GO GET BUBBA SETTLED.
HE LOOKS A LITTLE PASTY.
WHAT A GREAT DAY.
WE GET A TURTLE, AND
GRANDMA'S COMING TO VISIT.
STEPHANIE.
SWEETHEART, HONEY.
BABY.
DID YOU JUST SAY
GRANDMA'S COMING?
THAT'S WHAT SHE
SAID ON THE PHONE.
WELL, WHY DIDN'T
YOU SAY SOMETHING?
NOBODY ASKED ME.
STEPH, IT'S NOT POSSIBLE
FOR ME TO ASK YOU
EVERY QUESTION.
DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY QUESTIONS
THERE ARE IN THE WORLD?
8.
WHAT TIME IS GRANDMA
COMING, HONEY?
THE PLANE GETS IN
AT 5:12, SUGARHIPS.
SWEETHEART, GO UPSTAIRS
AND PLAY WITH BUBBA.
JOEY, HOW DID YOU
KNOW ABOUT MY MOTHER?
I ANSWERED THE PHONE
WHEN SHE CALLED.
WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING?
NOBODY ASKED ME.
FOUND A HOME FOR BUBBA.
IT'S CALM, COOL, COMFORTABLE.
NOBODY FLUSH, OK?
ALL RIGHT, I'LL SHRED HIM LUNCH.
I'LL SWAT HIM DESSERT.
JESSE, FORGET ABOUT THE TURTLE.
MY MOM'S ON HER WAY.
YOUR MOM'S COMING BACK ALREADY?
SHE JUST MOVED OUT OF HERE.
I KNOW THAT, BUT
SHE'S COMING BACK
TO CHECK UP ON ME.
SHE DOESN'T THINK I
CAN TAKE CARE OF THINGS.
WHAT? THE PLACE LOOKS GREAT.
YOU DON'T
UNDERSTAND. ALL MY LIFE
I'VE HAD SOMEBODY
TAKE CARE OF ME.
FIRST IT WAS MY MOM,
AND THEN I GOT
MARRIED, AND IT WAS PAM.
FOR THE FIRST TIME,
I WANT TO PROVE TO
MY MOM AND TO MYSELF
THAT I CAN TAKE
CARE OF MY FAMILY
ON MY OWN, BY MYSELF, JUST ME.
THAT'S WHY I DESPERATELY
NEED YOUR HELP.
WHAT DO YOU WANT US TO DO?
YEAH.
JESSE, TAKE ANOTHER
SHOT AT THE LAUNDRY.
ALL RIGHT.
JOEY, SEE IF YOU CAN
WEDGE SOME DETERGENT
INTO THE DISHWASHER.
I'M GONNA MOP THE FLOOR.
BAD NEWS, DAD-O.
WE'RE OUT OF DETERGENT.
DITTO ON DISH SOAP.
AND WE'RE OUT OF FLOOR WAX.
LET'S GO SHOPPING.
WHOA! YOU'RE IN YOUR PAJAMAS.
OH, I KNOW. I JUST WOKE UP.
[LAUGHING] OH, I GET IT.
I GOTTA GO PUT CLOTHES ON.
GEE, I WISH YOU
COULD WEAR PAJAMAS
AT THE MARKET.
HE MAY NEED HIS MOTHER.
D.J., LET'S GO.
STEPHANIE, HURRY UP.
GRANDMA'S GONNA BE HERE
IN T-MINUS-SEVEN
HOURS AND COUNTING.
CAN'T WE WAIT TILL YOGI'S OVER?
TAPE IT.
OF COURSE I'M GONNA TAPE IT.
I TAPE ALL OF THEM.
IT'S JUST THAT YOGI IS
SO MUCH BETTER LIVE.
ALL RIGHT, WE NEED
TURTLE CHOW, LEAFY GREEN...
THERE'S NO SUCH THING
AS FLY HELPER, IS THERE?
NO, OK.
I GOT THE BABY
DIAPERS, BABY WIPES,
EXTRA BABY CLOTHES,
AND THE BABY'S BACKPACK.
GREAT.
HERE'S BABY APPLE JUICE
AND BABY BITER BISCUITS.
WONDERFUL.
THE BABY LOVES MUSIC.
YOU THINK WE SHOULD
BRING ALONG THE ORGAN?
I GOT IT COVERED.
I'M BRINGING HER CRIB BLASTER.
OK, TROOPS, MOVE OUT!
DON'T FORGET MR. PANDY.
OH, THAT'S RIGHT, HONEY.
MICHELLE WON'T GO
ANYWHERE WITHOUT MR. PANDY.
LET'S GO. EVERYBODY MOVE IT.
I AM SO SORRY.
YOU WON'T REMEMBER
THIS, WILL YOU?
HOW MANY TIMES DO
I HAVE TO TELL YOU?
MAKE A TINKLE BEFORE
YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE.
COMING UP.
COMING UP.
IT'S UP.
COMING UP.
COMING UP.
DON'T WE HAVE ONE OF THESE?
I'LL TAKE MICHELLE.
I HATE THIS THING.
ONLY FIVE HOURS
BEFORE MY MOM SHOWS UP.
NOW, HERE'S THE PLAN:
I'LL DO THE KITCHEN,
JOEY, YOU DO THE LIVING ROOM.
JESS, YOU TAKE THE BEDROOMS.
NOW, WHO'S GOING
TO DO THE TOILETS?
OH, GIRLS. OH, GIRLS.
GIDDYUP, BUBBA, GIDDYUP.
COME ON.
CAN I GO NEXT?
LOOK AT BUBBA.
EVER SEEN A TURTLE
THAT GOOD WITH KIDS?
D.J., GO PUT ANNIE
OAKLEY IN HER BUNKHOUSE.
JESSE, FIND A
CORRAL FOR TRIGGER.
JOEY, I'M ALL OUT OF
COWBOY METAPHORS,
SO LET'S PUT AWAY THE GRUB.
I WAS WRONG. I HAD ONE LEFT.
WE'VE BEEN SHOPPING ALL MORNING.
HOW ABOUT A LITTLE YOGI BREAK?
SIT DOWN WITH YOUR FAMILY.
RELAX. WATCH THE BEAR.
ALL RIGHT, BUT WE'RE
JUST GONNA WATCH
UNTIL YOGI STEALS
A PICNIC BASKET.
OK. HE'S GOT ONE.
HI, YI-YI... GRANDMA!
GRANDMA!
OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD.
MY GRANDDAUGHTER IS A TURTLE.
MICHELLE NEEDS YOUR
LOVE NOW MORE THAN EVER.
GIVE ME THAT.
THIS TURTLE SAVED MY LIFE.
BUBBA, CLAIRE. CLAIRE, BUBBA.
HI.
I LOVE THIS AMPHIBIAN.
ISN'T HE COOL?
PET HIS HEAD, GRANDMA.
HE REALLY LIKES THAT.
OH, HE'S A REPTILE!
HEY, BACK OFF. HE'S BEEN
NOTHING BUT NICE TO YOU.
MOM, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE SO EARLY?
JOEY SAID YOU'D BE IN AT 5:12.
TRY 12:05.
I GUESS YOU HAD TO FIND
OUT SOONER OR LATER.
MY NAME IS JOEY, AND
I'M A TIME DYSLEXIC.
I WOULD HAVE TOLD YOU EARLIER,
BUT I'M JUST NOT
SURE WHEN EARLIER IS.
GIRLS, WILL YOU
JUST GO ON UPSTAIRS
AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM?
HOW DID SHE KNOW
OUR ROOM IS A MESS?
GRANDMA VISION.
MOM, DON'T WORRY.
WE'RE ON THE VERGE
OF A MAJOR CLEANUP.
AREN'T WE, BOYS?
WELL, WE WERE, BUT
NOW WHAT'S THE POINT?
I MEAN, NO ONE CLEANS
THE HOUSE LIKE YOUR MA.
RIGHT, JOSEPH?
OH, YOU'RE AWESOME, MRS. TANNER.
YEAH. SO WHY DON'T WE
JUST GET OUT OF YOUR WAY?
AND, CLAIRE, GO NUTS.
ABSOLUTELY. WE'LL CATCH
A MOVIE OR SOMETHING,
AND, MRS. TANNER, IF
YOU HAPPEN TO FINISH UP
BEFORE WE GET BACK,
I'D JUST LIKE TO LEAVE YOU
WITH THESE TWO WORDS...
LAMB CHOPS.
DON'T LISTEN TO HIM, MOM.
YOU COOK ANYTHING YOU WANT.
HONEY, WE'RE HOME.
BOYS, WE GOT SOME TROUBLE.
I'LL SAY WE GOT TROUBLE.
LOOK AT THIS
PLACE. IT'S A PIGSTY.
I THINK YOUR MA'S
LOST HER TOUCH.
SHE DOESN'T WANT
TO CLEAN UP OUR MESS.
SHE WANTS US TO DO IT.
SHE WANTS US TO DO IT?
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
CAN'T YOU HANDLE
YOUR MA? YOU WIMP.
YOU'RE TOTALLY MOMMY WHIPPED.
I SUPPOSE YOU HANDLE
YOUR MOM DIFFERENTLY?
I PLAY MY MA LIKE A PIANO.
WELL, I'M GLAD YOU'RE BACK.
COME ON IN.
YOUR MOM CALLED OUR MOMS?
HELLO, JESSE.
HI, JOEY.
HI, MOM. HI, MOM.
YES, I THOUGHT
THAT IRENE AND MINDY
WOULD BE VERY INTERESTED TO
SEE HOW YOU BOYS KEEP HOUSE.
OK, PIANO MAN.
WHY DON'T YOU SHOW THE WIMP
HOW TO TICKLE THOSE IVORIES?
MA.
JESSE.
CAN I MAKE YOU SOME TEA?
BRAVO. BRAVO.
SHUT UP.
NO TEA, THANK YOU.
OH, TUCK IN YOUR SHIRT.
MA!
OH, JESSE.
I REMEMBER WHEN
YOU WERE 8 YEARS OLD.
MA, PLEASE DON'T
TELL THAT STORY.
OH, NO, TELL. TELL.
WE LOVE STORIES.
I'LL NEVER FORGET IT.
MY LITTLE JESSE
TUGGED ON MY APRON
AND SAID, "MOMMY, CAN I
PLEASE HELP YOU IRON?"
I SAID, "SURE.
FINISH THE SLEEVE."
IT MUST HAVE BEEN
LIKE WHEN BABE RUTH
PICKED UP HIS FIRST BAT.
TO THIS DAY, HE'S THE
ONLY ONE I'LL TRUST
WITH MY CHIFFON BLOUSES.
TO IRON OR WEAR?
HEY, MAN, TO IRON.
ALL RIGHT, ENOUGH
OF THIS TALKING.
NOW, YOU BOYS HAVE
A LOT OF WORK TO DO.
SO WHERE'S THE VACUUM CLEANER?
OH, VACUUM CLEANER?
WE'LL HANDLE THIS.
MOM, LET'S SHOW THEM THE HOOVER.
GREAT. YOU'RE JUST
GONNA LOVE THIS.
BRRRRR!
BRRRRR!
UH, MINDY.
OH. OF COURSE.
NOW, JOEY, THERE
IS A TIME TO HAVE FUN
AND A TIME TO BE SERIOUS.
LISTEN, GIRLS, I
THINK THAT ONE OF US
SHOULD BE HERE AT ALL TIMES
TO SEE THAT THINGS GO PROPERLY.
AFTER ALL, THIS IS WHERE
OUR GRANDCHILDREN LIVE.
YOU ARE SO RIGHT.
I CAN BE HERE MONDAY
THROUGH WEDNESDAY.
WELL, I'M FREE
THURSDAYS AND FRIDAYS.
THAT'S WONDERFUL.
AND I CAN FLY IN
ON THE WEEKENDS,
SO IT'S ALL SETTLED.
TERRIFIC.
BOYS, WE ARE
STARING INTO THE JAWS
OF A NEVER-ENDING LIVING HELL.
WHAT? HEY!
NO OFFENSE.
MOMS, I DON'T BLAME YOU
FOR TREATING US LIKE CHILDREN.
I MEAN, 'CAUSE SOMETIMES
THAT'S HOW WE ACT.
LISTEN, GIRLS, WHEN
WE MOVED IN HERE,
WE KNOW WE HAD SOME
RESPONSIBILITIES TO DO,
BUT WE HAVEN'T REALLY
FOLLOWED THROUGH.
AND FROM NOW ON,
WE'RE REALLY GONNA BUCKLE DOWN.
MOTHERS, I HAVE A
PROPOSITION FOR YOU...
YOU ALL GO SHOPPING
FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS.
IF THIS PLACE ISN'T CLEAN
BY THE TIME YOU GET BACK,
YOU CAN ALL MOVE IN HERE
AND JUST RUN OUR LIVES FOREVER.
DEAL?
DEAL. DEAL.
OK, THERE'S THE BATHROOM.
YEP, THERE'S THE BATHROOM.
SAME PLACE IT WAS LAST
TIME WE DIDN'T CLEAN IT.
HERE'S A THOUGHT.
WHY DON'T WE SEE
IF THE GIRLS HAVE FINISHED
CLEANING THEIR ROOM?
LOVING IT.
LOVING IT.
WHAT HAPPENED?
THERE'S BEEN A BEDROOM TORNADO.
WE LOST SOMETHING.
MIGHT THAT BE YOUR MINDS?
WE LOST...
[MUMBLING]
WHAT EXACTLY IS... [MUMBLING]
[MUMBLING]
IS WHAT YOU SAY
WHEN YOU DON'T
WANT TO SAY... BUBBA.
YOU LOST BUBBA?
HE LOVES THAT AMPHIBIAN.
WE'RE SORRY.
WE TURNED OUR
BACKS, FOR ONE MINUTE,
AND HE WAS GONE.
IT'S OK, GIRLS. I'M SURE BUBBA
IS SOMEWHERE IN THE HOUSE.
ALL RIGHT, GUYS, WE'RE
GOING TO TURN THIS HOUSE
UPSIDE-DOWN UNTIL
WE FIND THAT TURTLE.
READY? GO.
BUBBA! BUBBA! BUBBA!
BUBBA! WHERE ARE YOU?
NO BUBBA?
NO BUBBA.
UNCLE JESSE, ME AND STEPH
WILL BUY YOU ANOTHER TURTLE.
YOU CAN HAVE ALL
MY MONEY... $2.58.
MY ADVICE IS DON'T
CLEAN ANYMORE.
JUST MOVE.
WE'LL BE RIGHT WITH YOU.
WE'RE HAVING A LITTLE
FAMILY PROBLEM HERE.
WE'LL LOOK FOR BUBBA
FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES.
AW, IT'S ALL RIGHT.
BUBBA'S WORK HERE WAS DONE.
I'M SURE HE'S OUT IN THE WORLD
SAVING OTHER LIVES.
YOU MEAN, YOU'RE
REALLY NOT MAD AT US?
YOU DON'T THINK WE'D GET MAD
OVER A STINKY TURTLE?
HEY, IF YOU HAD 4 ARMPITS
AND YOU WERE AN
INCH OFF THE GROUND,
HOW WOULD YOU SMELL?
GIRLS, GIRLS, I
KNOW YOU FEEL BAD.
THAT'S BECAUSE YOU
LOVE YOUR UNCLE JESSE,
AND YOU FEEL LIKE
YOU LET HIM DOWN.
I KNOW THAT LOSING
BUBBA WAS AN ACCIDENT.
YOU'VE GOT TO UNDERSTAND
WE'RE RIGHT BEHIND YOU
NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO.
AND IF YOU EVER HAVE A PROBLEM,
WE'LL BE THERE FOR YOU.
THAT'S RIGHT. AND IF WE
EVER HAVE A PROBLEM,
WE KNOW YOU GUYS WOULD
BE THERE FOR US, TOO, RIGHT?
ALL RIGHT. COME HERE,
YOU LITTLE MUNCHKINS.
GIVE US A HUG.
ALL RIGHT!
NEXT.
THAT IS SO SWEET.
ENOUGH OF THIS WARMTH JUNK.
WE'RE GONNA HAVE A GREAT TIME
LIVING HERE, RIGHT, GIRLS?
OH, YES. YOU BET.
JUST A MINUTE, LADIES.
WE WOULD LIKE ANOTHER
SHOT AT THIS, PLEASE.
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE THE GIRLS
TO THE ZOO FOR 3 HOURS?
YEAH. YEAH.
WE GOT SOME WORK
TO DO, ALL RIGHT?
ALL RIGHT.
AND BREAK! AND BREAK!
♪ WOW ♪
♪ I FEEL GOOD ♪
♪ I KNEW THAT I WOULD, NOW ♪
♪ I FEEL GOOD ♪
♪ I KNEW THAT I WOULD, NOW ♪
♪ SO GOOD ♪
♪ SO GOOD ♪
♪ I GOT YOU ♪
♪ YAAH ♪
♪ I FEEL NICE ♪
♪ LIKE SUGAR AND SPICE ♪
♪ I FEEL NICE ♪
♪ LIKE SUGAR AND SPICE ♪
♪ SO NICE, HUH HUH ♪
♪ SO NICE, HUH HUH ♪
♪ I GOT YOU ♪♪
WOW! WOW!
I THINK I HURT MYSELF.
WATCH ME WALK.
OWWW! OWWW! OWWW!
WAAA! YOOO! WHOO!
OWWW! OWWW! OWWW!
OWWW!
WHOO!
I SPLIT MY PANTS.
I CAN'T STAND MY PANTS.
OW!
OK, GUYS, WE MADE IT WITH
FIVE SECONDS TO SPARE.
COME ON. EVERYBODY UP.
LET'S GO.
5... 4... 3... 2... 1...
WE COMPLETELY LOST
TRACK OF THE TIME.
OH! IT'S IMMACULATE.
GRANDMA IRENE,
DOES THIS MEAN HELL
IS FREEZING OVER?
GO ON, FIND A SPECK OF DIRT,
A MICROBE OF FILTH.
I DOUBLE DARE YOU.
OK. ALL RIGHT.
HEY! WHOA!
THAT'S NOT WHERE THESE GO.
YOU TAKE GRANDMA'S GOODIES,
AND YOU TAKE THEM RIGHT UPSTAIRS
AND PUT THEM IN THE TOY BOX NOW.
WHOA! WHOA!
AND HE USED TO BE THE EASY ONE.
HOLD IT! HOLD IT!
YOU'RE ABOUT TO ENTER
A STERILE ENVIRONMENT.
[TURNS ON VACUUM]
DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.
MA, WHAT ABOUT
THOSE CREASES, HUH?
JESSE, YOU STILL
HAVE YOUR TOUCH.
PERFECT. EVERYTHING
IS JUST PERFECT.
LOOK, MOM, YOU COULD
EAT OFF THESE DISHES.
CONGRATULATIONS.
I AM REALLY PROUD OF ALL OF YOU.
SORRY. BANK'S CLOSED.
CAN YOU PAY ME IN CASH?
MOM, I'D LIKE YOU TO
MEET MY FIANCEE JENNIFER.
YOU'RE GOING TO
GIVE ME A GRANDCHILD?
NOT FOR THIS KIND OF MONEY.
HERE YOU GO, MRS. SIANSKI.
THANKS FOR EVERYTHING.
SEE YOU NEXT WEEKEND.
OH, SURE.
OK, SO WE HAD A LITTLE HELP.
JUST WITH THE HARD
STUFF AND THE TOILETS.
BUT WE MAKE A GREAT TEAM.
FROM NOW ON,
THINGS ARE GONNA GO A
LOT SMOOTHER AROUND HERE.
I'M SURE THEY WILL.
DOES THAT MEAN YOU
WON'T NEED US ANYMORE?
OOH, THEY'RE GOOD.
OF COURSE WE STILL NEED YOU.
YOU GIRLS COME BY
AND VISIT ANYTIME.
OK, LISTEN, I HAVE TO ADMIT
THAT I WAS A LITTLE WORRIED
ABOUT HOW YOU BOYS
WERE MANAGING THE GIRLS.
WELL, YOU MAY
BE A LITTLE SLOPPY,
BUT THOSE KIDS ARE
GETTING A LOT OF LOVE.
AW, THANKS, MOM.
AW, THIS IS NICE.
I WISH BUBBA WAS
HERE TO SHARE THIS.
BUBBA!
I FOUND HIM.
I LOVE THAT AMPHIBIAN.
CAPTIONING MADE
POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
♪ WHATEVER HAPPENED
TO PREDICTABILITY ♪
♪ THE MILKMAN, THE
PAPER BOY, EVENING TV ♪
♪ HOW DID I GET DELIVERED HERE ♪
♪ SOMEBODY TELL ME, PLEASE ♪
♪ THIS OLD WORLD'S
CONFUSING ME ♪
♪ CLOUDS AS MEAN
AS YOU'VE EVER SEEN ♪
♪ THERE AIN'T A BIRD
WHO KNOWS YOUR TUNE ♪
♪ THEN A LITTLE VOICE
INSIDE YOU WHISPERS ♪
♪ KID, DON'T SELL YOUR
DREAMS SO SOON ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ THERE'S A HEART,
THERE'S A HEART ♪
♪ A HAND TO HOLD ONTO ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ THERE'S A FACE ♪
♪ OF SOMEBODY WHO NEEDS YOU ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LOST OUT THERE ♪
♪ AND YOU'RE ALL ALONE ♪
♪ A LIGHT IS WAITING
TO CARRY YOU HOME ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ DOOBIE DOO BAH BAH DAH ♪
CEREAL, CARTOONS, PAJAMAS.
THIS IS WHY GOD
CREATED SATURDAY.
LET'S WATCH MTV.
NO. LET'S WATCH BUGS BUNNY.
BUT, STEPH, BUGS
BUNNY IS KID STUFF.
WE GOT TO WATCH YOGI BEAR.
BUT I LIKE BUGS BUNNY.
YEAH, BUT, STEPH, EVERY
EPISODE IS THE SAME.
ELMER FUDD SAYS,
"WHY, YOU PESKY WABBIT."
THEN HE TAKES A SHOT AT BUGS.
THEN YOSEMITE SAM COMES IN.
"OOH, AH HATE THAT RABBIT."
THEN HE TAKES A SHOT AT BUGS.
I MEAN, WITH ALL THAT
SHOOTING GOING ON,
I DON'T KNOW WHY BUGS
EVER POPS HIS HEAD
OUT OF THAT HOLE.
LET'S FACE IT. THE
RABBIT HAS A DEATH WISH.
BETTER THAN WATCHING YOGI
STEAL THE SAME PICNIC BASKET.
BORING.
MORNING, KIDS.
HI, DAD. HI, DAD.
I DON'T REALLY SEE YOU
EATING CEREAL OUT OF POTS
WITH WOODEN IMPLEMENTS, DO I?
YES, YOU DO.
GREAT. AFTER BREAKFAST,
WHY DON'T WE JUST
TAKE THIS LAUNDRY
DOWN TO THE BAY AND BEAT
IT AGAINST SOME ROCKS?
JOEY, CAN YOU COME
WITH ME RIGHT NOW
INTO THE KITCHEN, PLEASE?
WHAT, NOW? I'LL MISS
THE START OF YOGI.
IT'S NOT AGATHA CHRISTIE.
YOU'LL CATCH UP.
GIRLS, TAKE ACCURATE NOTES.
WHA-HO-HO!
IT'S HOWDY DIRTY TIME.
JOEY, THE DEAL WE MADE WAS,
THIS IS YOUR WEEK TO
TAKE CARE OF THE DISHES.
I'M JUST WAITING
TILL THE DISHWASHER'S FULL.
THERE. NOW WE WON'T
BE WASTING WATER.
OF COURSE WE WON'T.
THERE'S NO ROOM FOR WATER.
BOY, WHAT A NIGHT.
JESSE, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE GONNA
TAKE CARE OF THE LAUNDRY.
I DID. I DID MINE.
WHAT ABOUT EVERYBODY
ELSE'S LAUNDRY?
LOOKS TO ME LIKE THEY
HAVEN'T TOUCHED IT.
THE LAZY BUMS.
FELLAS, LET ME TELL
YOU ABOUT THIS STORY,
ALL RIGHT?
LAST NIGHT, MY BAND'S PLAYING
THIS GIG IN CHINATOWN.
A SWEET AND SOUR
16 PARTY, IF YOU WILL.
ANYWAY, I'M CRUISING
HOME ON MY HARLEY, RIGHT?
I COME TO A RED LIGHT, I STOP.
GREAT STORY.
AND YOU TOLD IT GREAT.
FELLAS, I'M BUILDING.
I'M BUILDING.
ANYWAY, THE LIGHT
TURNS GREEN, RIGHT?
I TRY TO MOVE. I CAN'T.
THERE'S SOMETHING
WEDGED UNDER MY TIRE.
JUST THEN THIS
RUNAWAY STREET CLEANER
COMES BARRELING
THROUGH THE INTERSECTION
RIGHT WHERE I WOULD HAVE BEEN.
I CAME THIS CLOSE TO BEING
A REALLY CLEAN DEAD GUY.
FELLAS, I'D LIKE TO
INTRODUCE TO YOU
THE LITTLE DUDE
THAT SAVED MY LIFE...
BUBBA!
I LOVE THIS AMPHIBIAN.
YOU JUST HATE COMING
HOME ALONE, DON'T YOU?
I GOT TO GET MY
GUITAR. HOLD BUBBA.
KEEP HIM HAPPY. IT
JUST MAY SAVE YOUR LIFE.
D.J.: JOEY, WHERE ARE YOU?
DON'T LET THE GIRLS SEE HIM.
THEY'RE GONNA WANT TO KEEP HIM.
HIDE HIM, HIDE HIM.
THE POT. UNDER THE POT.
GREAT IDEA.
OK.
I DON'T SEE A TURTLE.
ACT CASUAL.
OH, YEAH, NONCHALANT.
GOOD WORD. NONCHALANT.
JOEY, YOGI MAY BE SMARTER
THAN THE AVERAGE BEAR,
BUT HE'S MUCH DUMBER
THAN THE AVERAGE 3-YEAR-OLD.
WHAT'S THAT?
OH, THAT?
THAT'S, UH... IT'S DINNER.
IT'S ROAST BEEF.
YEAH. ROAST BEEF.
AND WHERE IS OUR
ROAST BEEF GOING?
IT'S GOING TO THE OVEN.
ROAST BEEF COMES FROM TURTLE?
NOT MY TURTLE, IT DOESN'T.
I LOVE THIS AMPHIBIAN.
I LOVE HIM, TOO.
CAN WE KEEP HIM?
OF COURSE WE CAN
KEEP HIM. BUBBA'S A HERO.
UNCLE JESSE, WE'LL TAKE
CARE OF HIM FOR YOU.
ALL RIGHT.
ARE YOU SURE, HONEY?
THAT'S A BIG RESPONSIBILITY.
NO PROBLEM.
LET'S GO GET BUBBA SETTLED.
HE LOOKS A LITTLE PASTY.
WHAT A GREAT DAY.
WE GET A TURTLE, AND
GRANDMA'S COMING TO VISIT.
STEPHANIE.
SWEETHEART, HONEY.
BABY.
DID YOU JUST SAY
GRANDMA'S COMING?
THAT'S WHAT SHE
SAID ON THE PHONE.
WELL, WHY DIDN'T
YOU SAY SOMETHING?
NOBODY ASKED ME.
STEPH, IT'S NOT POSSIBLE
FOR ME TO ASK YOU
EVERY QUESTION.
DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY QUESTIONS
THERE ARE IN THE WORLD?
8.
WHAT TIME IS GRANDMA
COMING, HONEY?
THE PLANE GETS IN
AT 5:12, SUGARHIPS.
SWEETHEART, GO UPSTAIRS
AND PLAY WITH BUBBA.
JOEY, HOW DID YOU
KNOW ABOUT MY MOTHER?
I ANSWERED THE PHONE
WHEN SHE CALLED.
WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING?
NOBODY ASKED ME.
FOUND A HOME FOR BUBBA.
IT'S CALM, COOL, COMFORTABLE.
NOBODY FLUSH, OK?
ALL RIGHT, I'LL SHRED HIM LUNCH.
I'LL SWAT HIM DESSERT.
JESSE, FORGET ABOUT THE TURTLE.
MY MOM'S ON HER WAY.
YOUR MOM'S COMING BACK ALREADY?
SHE JUST MOVED OUT OF HERE.
I KNOW THAT, BUT
SHE'S COMING BACK
TO CHECK UP ON ME.
SHE DOESN'T THINK I
CAN TAKE CARE OF THINGS.
WHAT? THE PLACE LOOKS GREAT.
YOU DON'T
UNDERSTAND. ALL MY LIFE
I'VE HAD SOMEBODY
TAKE CARE OF ME.
FIRST IT WAS MY MOM,
AND THEN I GOT
MARRIED, AND IT WAS PAM.
FOR THE FIRST TIME,
I WANT TO PROVE TO
MY MOM AND TO MYSELF
THAT I CAN TAKE
CARE OF MY FAMILY
ON MY OWN, BY MYSELF, JUST ME.
THAT'S WHY I DESPERATELY
NEED YOUR HELP.
WHAT DO YOU WANT US TO DO?
YEAH.
JESSE, TAKE ANOTHER
SHOT AT THE LAUNDRY.
ALL RIGHT.
JOEY, SEE IF YOU CAN
WEDGE SOME DETERGENT
INTO THE DISHWASHER.
I'M GONNA MOP THE FLOOR.
BAD NEWS, DAD-O.
WE'RE OUT OF DETERGENT.
DITTO ON DISH SOAP.
AND WE'RE OUT OF FLOOR WAX.
LET'S GO SHOPPING.
WHOA! YOU'RE IN YOUR PAJAMAS.
OH, I KNOW. I JUST WOKE UP.
[LAUGHING] OH, I GET IT.
I GOTTA GO PUT CLOTHES ON.
GEE, I WISH YOU
COULD WEAR PAJAMAS
AT THE MARKET.
HE MAY NEED HIS MOTHER.
D.J., LET'S GO.
STEPHANIE, HURRY UP.
GRANDMA'S GONNA BE HERE
IN T-MINUS-SEVEN
HOURS AND COUNTING.
CAN'T WE WAIT TILL YOGI'S OVER?
TAPE IT.
OF COURSE I'M GONNA TAPE IT.
I TAPE ALL OF THEM.
IT'S JUST THAT YOGI IS
SO MUCH BETTER LIVE.
ALL RIGHT, WE NEED
TURTLE CHOW, LEAFY GREEN...
THERE'S NO SUCH THING
AS FLY HELPER, IS THERE?
NO, OK.
I GOT THE BABY
DIAPERS, BABY WIPES,
EXTRA BABY CLOTHES,
AND THE BABY'S BACKPACK.
GREAT.
HERE'S BABY APPLE JUICE
AND BABY BITER BISCUITS.
WONDERFUL.
THE BABY LOVES MUSIC.
YOU THINK WE SHOULD
BRING ALONG THE ORGAN?
I GOT IT COVERED.
I'M BRINGING HER CRIB BLASTER.
OK, TROOPS, MOVE OUT!
DON'T FORGET MR. PANDY.
OH, THAT'S RIGHT, HONEY.
MICHELLE WON'T GO
ANYWHERE WITHOUT MR. PANDY.
LET'S GO. EVERYBODY MOVE IT.
I AM SO SORRY.
YOU WON'T REMEMBER
THIS, WILL YOU?
HOW MANY TIMES DO
I HAVE TO TELL YOU?
MAKE A TINKLE BEFORE
YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE.
COMING UP.
COMING UP.
IT'S UP.
COMING UP.
COMING UP.
DON'T WE HAVE ONE OF THESE?
I'LL TAKE MICHELLE.
I HATE THIS THING.
ONLY FIVE HOURS
BEFORE MY MOM SHOWS UP.
NOW, HERE'S THE PLAN:
I'LL DO THE KITCHEN,
JOEY, YOU DO THE LIVING ROOM.
JESS, YOU TAKE THE BEDROOMS.
NOW, WHO'S GOING
TO DO THE TOILETS?
OH, GIRLS. OH, GIRLS.
GIDDYUP, BUBBA, GIDDYUP.
COME ON.
CAN I GO NEXT?
LOOK AT BUBBA.
EVER SEEN A TURTLE
THAT GOOD WITH KIDS?
D.J., GO PUT ANNIE
OAKLEY IN HER BUNKHOUSE.
JESSE, FIND A
CORRAL FOR TRIGGER.
JOEY, I'M ALL OUT OF
COWBOY METAPHORS,
SO LET'S PUT AWAY THE GRUB.
I WAS WRONG. I HAD ONE LEFT.
WE'VE BEEN SHOPPING ALL MORNING.
HOW ABOUT A LITTLE YOGI BREAK?
SIT DOWN WITH YOUR FAMILY.
RELAX. WATCH THE BEAR.
ALL RIGHT, BUT WE'RE
JUST GONNA WATCH
UNTIL YOGI STEALS
A PICNIC BASKET.
OK. HE'S GOT ONE.
HI, YI-YI... GRANDMA!
GRANDMA!
OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD.
MY GRANDDAUGHTER IS A TURTLE.
MICHELLE NEEDS YOUR
LOVE NOW MORE THAN EVER.
GIVE ME THAT.
THIS TURTLE SAVED MY LIFE.
BUBBA, CLAIRE. CLAIRE, BUBBA.
HI.
I LOVE THIS AMPHIBIAN.
ISN'T HE COOL?
PET HIS HEAD, GRANDMA.
HE REALLY LIKES THAT.
OH, HE'S A REPTILE!
HEY, BACK OFF. HE'S BEEN
NOTHING BUT NICE TO YOU.
MOM, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE SO EARLY?
JOEY SAID YOU'D BE IN AT 5:12.
TRY 12:05.
I GUESS YOU HAD TO FIND
OUT SOONER OR LATER.
MY NAME IS JOEY, AND
I'M A TIME DYSLEXIC.
I WOULD HAVE TOLD YOU EARLIER,
BUT I'M JUST NOT
SURE WHEN EARLIER IS.
GIRLS, WILL YOU
JUST GO ON UPSTAIRS
AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM?
HOW DID SHE KNOW
OUR ROOM IS A MESS?
GRANDMA VISION.
MOM, DON'T WORRY.
WE'RE ON THE VERGE
OF A MAJOR CLEANUP.
AREN'T WE, BOYS?
WELL, WE WERE, BUT
NOW WHAT'S THE POINT?
I MEAN, NO ONE CLEANS
THE HOUSE LIKE YOUR MA.
RIGHT, JOSEPH?
OH, YOU'RE AWESOME, MRS. TANNER.
YEAH. SO WHY DON'T WE
JUST GET OUT OF YOUR WAY?
AND, CLAIRE, GO NUTS.
ABSOLUTELY. WE'LL CATCH
A MOVIE OR SOMETHING,
AND, MRS. TANNER, IF
YOU HAPPEN TO FINISH UP
BEFORE WE GET BACK,
I'D JUST LIKE TO LEAVE YOU
WITH THESE TWO WORDS...
LAMB CHOPS.
DON'T LISTEN TO HIM, MOM.
YOU COOK ANYTHING YOU WANT.
HONEY, WE'RE HOME.
BOYS, WE GOT SOME TROUBLE.
I'LL SAY WE GOT TROUBLE.
LOOK AT THIS
PLACE. IT'S A PIGSTY.
I THINK YOUR MA'S
LOST HER TOUCH.
SHE DOESN'T WANT
TO CLEAN UP OUR MESS.
SHE WANTS US TO DO IT.
SHE WANTS US TO DO IT?
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
CAN'T YOU HANDLE
YOUR MA? YOU WIMP.
YOU'RE TOTALLY MOMMY WHIPPED.
I SUPPOSE YOU HANDLE
YOUR MOM DIFFERENTLY?
I PLAY MY MA LIKE A PIANO.
WELL, I'M GLAD YOU'RE BACK.
COME ON IN.
YOUR MOM CALLED OUR MOMS?
HELLO, JESSE.
HI, JOEY.
HI, MOM. HI, MOM.
YES, I THOUGHT
THAT IRENE AND MINDY
WOULD BE VERY INTERESTED TO
SEE HOW YOU BOYS KEEP HOUSE.
OK, PIANO MAN.
WHY DON'T YOU SHOW THE WIMP
HOW TO TICKLE THOSE IVORIES?
MA.
JESSE.
CAN I MAKE YOU SOME TEA?
BRAVO. BRAVO.
SHUT UP.
NO TEA, THANK YOU.
OH, TUCK IN YOUR SHIRT.
MA!
OH, JESSE.
I REMEMBER WHEN
YOU WERE 8 YEARS OLD.
MA, PLEASE DON'T
TELL THAT STORY.
OH, NO, TELL. TELL.
WE LOVE STORIES.
I'LL NEVER FORGET IT.
MY LITTLE JESSE
TUGGED ON MY APRON
AND SAID, "MOMMY, CAN I
PLEASE HELP YOU IRON?"
I SAID, "SURE.
FINISH THE SLEEVE."
IT MUST HAVE BEEN
LIKE WHEN BABE RUTH
PICKED UP HIS FIRST BAT.
TO THIS DAY, HE'S THE
ONLY ONE I'LL TRUST
WITH MY CHIFFON BLOUSES.
TO IRON OR WEAR?
HEY, MAN, TO IRON.
ALL RIGHT, ENOUGH
OF THIS TALKING.
NOW, YOU BOYS HAVE
A LOT OF WORK TO DO.
SO WHERE'S THE VACUUM CLEANER?
OH, VACUUM CLEANER?
WE'LL HANDLE THIS.
MOM, LET'S SHOW THEM THE HOOVER.
GREAT. YOU'RE JUST
GONNA LOVE THIS.
BRRRRR!
BRRRRR!
UH, MINDY.
OH. OF COURSE.
NOW, JOEY, THERE
IS A TIME TO HAVE FUN
AND A TIME TO BE SERIOUS.
LISTEN, GIRLS, I
THINK THAT ONE OF US
SHOULD BE HERE AT ALL TIMES
TO SEE THAT THINGS GO PROPERLY.
AFTER ALL, THIS IS WHERE
OUR GRANDCHILDREN LIVE.
YOU ARE SO RIGHT.
I CAN BE HERE MONDAY
THROUGH WEDNESDAY.
WELL, I'M FREE
THURSDAYS AND FRIDAYS.
THAT'S WONDERFUL.
AND I CAN FLY IN
ON THE WEEKENDS,
SO IT'S ALL SETTLED.
TERRIFIC.
BOYS, WE ARE
STARING INTO THE JAWS
OF A NEVER-ENDING LIVING HELL.
WHAT? HEY!
NO OFFENSE.
MOMS, I DON'T BLAME YOU
FOR TREATING US LIKE CHILDREN.
I MEAN, 'CAUSE SOMETIMES
THAT'S HOW WE ACT.
LISTEN, GIRLS, WHEN
WE MOVED IN HERE,
WE KNOW WE HAD SOME
RESPONSIBILITIES TO DO,
BUT WE HAVEN'T REALLY
FOLLOWED THROUGH.
AND FROM NOW ON,
WE'RE REALLY GONNA BUCKLE DOWN.
MOTHERS, I HAVE A
PROPOSITION FOR YOU...
YOU ALL GO SHOPPING
FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS.
IF THIS PLACE ISN'T CLEAN
BY THE TIME YOU GET BACK,
YOU CAN ALL MOVE IN HERE
AND JUST RUN OUR LIVES FOREVER.
DEAL?
DEAL. DEAL.
OK, THERE'S THE BATHROOM.
YEP, THERE'S THE BATHROOM.
SAME PLACE IT WAS LAST
TIME WE DIDN'T CLEAN IT.
HERE'S A THOUGHT.
WHY DON'T WE SEE
IF THE GIRLS HAVE FINISHED
CLEANING THEIR ROOM?
LOVING IT.
LOVING IT.
WHAT HAPPENED?
THERE'S BEEN A BEDROOM TORNADO.
WE LOST SOMETHING.
MIGHT THAT BE YOUR MINDS?
WE LOST...
[MUMBLING]
WHAT EXACTLY IS... [MUMBLING]
[MUMBLING]
IS WHAT YOU SAY
WHEN YOU DON'T
WANT TO SAY... BUBBA.
YOU LOST BUBBA?
HE LOVES THAT AMPHIBIAN.
WE'RE SORRY.
WE TURNED OUR
BACKS, FOR ONE MINUTE,
AND HE WAS GONE.
IT'S OK, GIRLS. I'M SURE BUBBA
IS SOMEWHERE IN THE HOUSE.
ALL RIGHT, GUYS, WE'RE
GOING TO TURN THIS HOUSE
UPSIDE-DOWN UNTIL
WE FIND THAT TURTLE.
READY? GO.
BUBBA! BUBBA! BUBBA!
BUBBA! WHERE ARE YOU?
NO BUBBA?
NO BUBBA.
UNCLE JESSE, ME AND STEPH
WILL BUY YOU ANOTHER TURTLE.
YOU CAN HAVE ALL
MY MONEY... $2.58.
MY ADVICE IS DON'T
CLEAN ANYMORE.
JUST MOVE.
WE'LL BE RIGHT WITH YOU.
WE'RE HAVING A LITTLE
FAMILY PROBLEM HERE.
WE'LL LOOK FOR BUBBA
FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES.
AW, IT'S ALL RIGHT.
BUBBA'S WORK HERE WAS DONE.
I'M SURE HE'S OUT IN THE WORLD
SAVING OTHER LIVES.
YOU MEAN, YOU'RE
REALLY NOT MAD AT US?
YOU DON'T THINK WE'D GET MAD
OVER A STINKY TURTLE?
HEY, IF YOU HAD 4 ARMPITS
AND YOU WERE AN
INCH OFF THE GROUND,
HOW WOULD YOU SMELL?
GIRLS, GIRLS, I
KNOW YOU FEEL BAD.
THAT'S BECAUSE YOU
LOVE YOUR UNCLE JESSE,
AND YOU FEEL LIKE
YOU LET HIM DOWN.
I KNOW THAT LOSING
BUBBA WAS AN ACCIDENT.
YOU'VE GOT TO UNDERSTAND
WE'RE RIGHT BEHIND YOU
NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO.
AND IF YOU EVER HAVE A PROBLEM,
WE'LL BE THERE FOR YOU.
THAT'S RIGHT. AND IF WE
EVER HAVE A PROBLEM,
WE KNOW YOU GUYS WOULD
BE THERE FOR US, TOO, RIGHT?
ALL RIGHT. COME HERE,
YOU LITTLE MUNCHKINS.
GIVE US A HUG.
ALL RIGHT!
NEXT.
THAT IS SO SWEET.
ENOUGH OF THIS WARMTH JUNK.
WE'RE GONNA HAVE A GREAT TIME
LIVING HERE, RIGHT, GIRLS?
OH, YES. YOU BET.
JUST A MINUTE, LADIES.
WE WOULD LIKE ANOTHER
SHOT AT THIS, PLEASE.
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE THE GIRLS
TO THE ZOO FOR 3 HOURS?
YEAH. YEAH.
WE GOT SOME WORK
TO DO, ALL RIGHT?
ALL RIGHT.
AND BREAK! AND BREAK!
♪ WOW ♪
♪ I FEEL GOOD ♪
♪ I KNEW THAT I WOULD, NOW ♪
♪ I FEEL GOOD ♪
♪ I KNEW THAT I WOULD, NOW ♪
♪ SO GOOD ♪
♪ SO GOOD ♪
♪ I GOT YOU ♪
♪ YAAH ♪
♪ I FEEL NICE ♪
♪ LIKE SUGAR AND SPICE ♪
♪ I FEEL NICE ♪
♪ LIKE SUGAR AND SPICE ♪
♪ SO NICE, HUH HUH ♪
♪ SO NICE, HUH HUH ♪
♪ I GOT YOU ♪♪
WOW! WOW!
I THINK I HURT MYSELF.
WATCH ME WALK.
OWWW! OWWW! OWWW!
WAAA! YOOO! WHOO!
OWWW! OWWW! OWWW!
OWWW!
WHOO!
I SPLIT MY PANTS.
I CAN'T STAND MY PANTS.
OW!
OK, GUYS, WE MADE IT WITH
FIVE SECONDS TO SPARE.
COME ON. EVERYBODY UP.
LET'S GO.
5... 4... 3... 2... 1...
WE COMPLETELY LOST
TRACK OF THE TIME.
OH! IT'S IMMACULATE.
GRANDMA IRENE,
DOES THIS MEAN HELL
IS FREEZING OVER?
GO ON, FIND A SPECK OF DIRT,
A MICROBE OF FILTH.
I DOUBLE DARE YOU.
OK. ALL RIGHT.
HEY! WHOA!
THAT'S NOT WHERE THESE GO.
YOU TAKE GRANDMA'S GOODIES,
AND YOU TAKE THEM RIGHT UPSTAIRS
AND PUT THEM IN THE TOY BOX NOW.
WHOA! WHOA!
AND HE USED TO BE THE EASY ONE.
HOLD IT! HOLD IT!
YOU'RE ABOUT TO ENTER
A STERILE ENVIRONMENT.
[TURNS ON VACUUM]
DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.
MA, WHAT ABOUT
THOSE CREASES, HUH?
JESSE, YOU STILL
HAVE YOUR TOUCH.
PERFECT. EVERYTHING
IS JUST PERFECT.
LOOK, MOM, YOU COULD
EAT OFF THESE DISHES.
CONGRATULATIONS.
I AM REALLY PROUD OF ALL OF YOU.
SORRY. BANK'S CLOSED.
CAN YOU PAY ME IN CASH?
MOM, I'D LIKE YOU TO
MEET MY FIANCEE JENNIFER.
YOU'RE GOING TO
GIVE ME A GRANDCHILD?
NOT FOR THIS KIND OF MONEY.
HERE YOU GO, MRS. SIANSKI.
THANKS FOR EVERYTHING.
SEE YOU NEXT WEEKEND.
OH, SURE.
OK, SO WE HAD A LITTLE HELP.
JUST WITH THE HARD
STUFF AND THE TOILETS.
BUT WE MAKE A GREAT TEAM.
FROM NOW ON,
THINGS ARE GONNA GO A
LOT SMOOTHER AROUND HERE.
I'M SURE THEY WILL.
DOES THAT MEAN YOU
WON'T NEED US ANYMORE?
OOH, THEY'RE GOOD.
OF COURSE WE STILL NEED YOU.
YOU GIRLS COME BY
AND VISIT ANYTIME.
OK, LISTEN, I HAVE TO ADMIT
THAT I WAS A LITTLE WORRIED
ABOUT HOW YOU BOYS
WERE MANAGING THE GIRLS.
WELL, YOU MAY
BE A LITTLE SLOPPY,
BUT THOSE KIDS ARE
GETTING A LOT OF LOVE.
AW, THANKS, MOM.
AW, THIS IS NICE.
I WISH BUBBA WAS
HERE TO SHARE THIS.
BUBBA!
I FOUND HIM.
I LOVE THAT AMPHIBIAN.
CAPTIONING MADE
POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.