Frisky Dingo (2006–2008): Season 2, Episode 11 - Cody Gains a Namesake - full transcript
Killface:
Previously on
"Frisky Dingo"...
Now all I need is the coupling,
and then I shall control
the Annihilatrix!
Nows all I need is the key,
then I'll control the frickin'
Annihilatrix.
What?
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
I tell you to stop?
[ Strained ]
No.
But he did say something about
controlling the Annihilatrix.
Well, how am I
supposed to find him?
L...just know the motel he
hangs out at,
plus I have his
picture.
KILLFACE:
Wendell!
That son of a filthy
fat-tittied whore.
[ Mumbling ]
Oh.
ju--
piss on the swear jar.
VAL:
Come on, already!
- Let's start being gay!
- All right.
Get that bulletproof armor
off and get out here.
SINN:
Just give me a minute!
VAL:
Gay-fer.
COMPUTER:
Intruder detected.
SINN:
Wait, what was that?
Probably the "quit being a
pussy and go be gay" alarm.
Come on!
Skin out, hot tits!
All right, I'm --
[ laser-gun shots ]
Duh-hoy.
All right, Killface.
Let's see how you like an army
of Deceptiloids.
COMPUTER:
Intruder detected.
Well, if there's no intruder,
why's the frickin' alarm
going off?
I don't know.
Maybe your mom was, um...
Uh, wait.
What are you doing?
Damn. I had something.
Okay, Deceptortrons,
listen up.
Hey, what are you doing in
Sinn's armor?
Oh...
- Ow! Hey!
- What the --
Hey! Damn it!
My key!
Yes, the key!
The key to your...
ah, wait, damn, I had something.
Naw, it's gone.
- Uh...
- As am I!
[ Hooves clacking ]
Hyah!
Who the hell was that?
That's Steve,
from Machete Squad.
What?
We have a machete squad?
Yeah.
That guy Steve's on it.
Wendell, Wendell...
where the --
come in, assface.
Yeah, I don't know if that
thing's working.
Well, not with that attitude.
- Crews.
- Aah!
Oh, wait, there it goes.
Our love child,
the fruit of your feckless seed,
is due any time now.
And mark my words --
once he is born,
he will rise up and
destroy you!
[ laughs evilly ]
- What the hell are you doing?
- Wendell?
Hi, Mr. Crews!
Come on,
we got to get out of here.
Wendell!
Wow.
Great.
My crazy-ass bug-lady
ex-girlfriend
is raising a giant
ant monster to kill me.
Well, he'll probably be a
larva first.
Either way!
And also, even if he wasn't a
revenge-driven ant larva,
not entirely sure I'd make a
good father.
No kidding.
[ Chuckles ]
And now, who are you, again?
I'm Jenna.
Your daughter.
[ Sighs ]
[beep]
Oh, and your daughter's here
to see you.
Ashley, are you even
on-site?
No, are you?
All right, let me get this
straight.
You're saying that Steve guy and
the Crab Man killed Sinn.
Yeah!
Then put me in her armor to make
it look like I did it --
Damn, that Steve's crafty.
...then took off with the
Bug Lady to give birth in a
secret location!
They're probably starting
an Ant-baby Machete-squad
Splinter Group!
[all gasp]
Steve mentioned that!
Well, we can track Steve by
the GPS beacon in his pants.
Not if we're stuck in here.
I'm on it!
[zap]
Aah!
Yeah, that's a force field,
idiot.
Well, if you're so smart,
how come you're not in Ant-baby
Machete Squad?
Oh, I will be.
I'll be squad leader.
Hey, guys.
Why don't we just use the hole?
[ laughter ]
Things Cliff's dad says to
him.
You'd like us to use your
hole.
[ laughter ]
Oh, wow.
Yeah, uh, actually,
that's a pretty good idea, Cliff.
For once.
I have good ideas.
ANTAGONE:
But what to name this child
who will one day destroy
Xander Crews...
why don't you name him
Xander Crews?
'Cause then he'd be, like,
destroying himself!
You know, metaphorically.
- No.
- Oh, or Cody.
No!
I want something...
that works with a girl
or a boy.
...regal.
- Cody ll.
- No, fool!
It's evocative.
Not Cody any number.
And why aren't we at a hospital?
'Cause I get a special rate
here.
Plus, a doctor sees a thing like
that coming out of you...
yeah, he's on the phone.
Next thing you know, you're
having a C-section in Area 51...
[gasps ]
...compliments of
Steven Seagal.
Not my baby!
Don't you worry.
I'll never let that happen.
Because, well,
I guess what I'm saying is...
Antagone, will you --
Hey!
You "hey."
Uh, can you excuse us?
Just a second?
Yeah, I'm just gonna
need a minute here...
- ...for this.
- Uh...
Just go stand way over there.
Now...
[ clears throat ]
[ Footsteps receding ]
Now, what brings you here,
little girl?
My mom's name was
Felicity Finnegan.
Felicity Finnegan!
- Yeah.
- Not ringing a bell.
You dated her about
14 years ago.
Oh!
For like three years.
No memory of this.
And then abandoned her when
she got pregnant.
No, I think I'd
remember that.
Okay,
I have a picture of you two.
XANDER:
Oh, fat tits Finnegan!
Yeah! Super lady.
What is she up to?
She died of cancer.
- Oh.
- On Thursday.
God,
so close to the weekend.
Wait, was it vagina cancer?
What? No.
'Cause I don't know
if you've had "the talk"...
- it wasn't mouth cancer, was it?
- No.
- Oh, my god.
- What?
- Not...asshole cancer?
- No!
It was in her lymph nodes!
Where are the lymph nodes?!
I don't know!
Kind of all over your body.
- Including her ass?!
- Idon--
Bap, bap!
[ dialing ]
[ Sighs ]
[ Telephone ringing ]
[ sighs ]
It's ringing.
Uh, hello, hi,
this is Xander Crews.
Yeah, I know.
And I need to get
tested for cancer.
Ugh!
Cancer is not even contagious!
Unrelated.
Hmm?
Uh...
penis, I guess?
[ Sighs ]
And...balls.
Might have touched something.
Look...
No, you listen.
- I'm who's in love with Antagone.
- What?
So just bag off, jagoff.
Well, I love her more than
you do.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
Well...
Then Jingo!
Argh!
Oh, my god.
He went to Jared's.
ANTAGONE:
[ groans ]
Crabman, what's-your-face!
Yeah, I just killed a man for her.
She don't even know
my freakin' name.
High school all over again.
They say you never outgrow it.
I can't believe you paid your
daughter
$1 million never to
contact you again.
Hey, she's no angel,
all right.
She signed the contract, too.
Yeah, you were a huge dick.
God, you're right.
Hey, Janet.
Yeah?
Oh, wait. Damn.
I had something.
Just -- ll guess just bye, then.
[ Door closes ]
She's a good kid.
All righty.
If you can climb down off of my
ball sack,
I've got a birth to
prevent.
Why don't you just buy that
one off?
[ laughs mockingly ]
[ grunts ]
DOCTOR:
[ grunts ]
Ass.
Oh, real quick --
also check my ass.
Unrelated.
[ Groans ]
Could we possibly go any slower?
Actually, yeah.
'Cause this is as fast
as jet boots go.
So why didn't we just go
out the hole,
go back in through the hangar
bay and take the damn X-caliber?
All:
[ groan]
I said that like 50 times.
No, you didn't.
Well, I would have if you guys
didn't always make fun of
my ideas.
Yeah, that homemade slingbox
was a winner.
[ laughter ]
I forgot about the slingbox.
Oh, I thought that was a
potato clock.
- Shut up.
- Everybody shut up.
Come on, guys, she's right.
- God.
- This is what Steve wants.
Idiots.
Plus, by now,
it'll take twice as long to go
back to the ship, so.
Oh, are we that close?
Yeah,
you can actually see it.
WENDELL:
Oh, gross.
My god, I can see it.
It's not gross!
Yeah, you're not down here.
It's like a boar's head truck
just T-boned a bloodmobile.
[ Groaning ]
It hurts.
Yeah, it hurts.
It's [bleep] ruined.
Now big push.
Here...goes.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Stop, stop, stop.
What?
I'm gonna throw up.
Get back here.
[ Retching ]
[ Groaning ]
WENDELL:
Do you have any Scope?
Get your fat ass back here.
[ Knock on door ]
[gasps ]
Housekeeping.
Oh, my god.
It's the Area 51 people.
Hey, would you shut
the [bleep] up?
Oh, the baby --
he's coming!
No it ain't,
slurp it back up inside you.
Come on.
I can hear you in there.
And you need these towels.
Damn it, we don't
need any more...towels.
[ Muttering ]
You haven't even
used those towels.
And what are you doing here?
Well, I'm not here to buy
douche bags,
so it doesn't
really concern you.
Unless you have seen
the bug lady.
No.
I'm still looking for that
perfidious Wendell.
Well, they're together.
Gross.
And they're somewhere
close by.
[ Groaning ]
Son of a bitch!
Oh, I know.
They have been running like
swine all afternoon.
Damn it, that's not sex.
- It's a --
-[ screams ]
[ Splat! ]
[ baby crying ]
Good lord.
That's a baby.
Duh-hoy.
And he's the most beautiful
baby in the whole wide world.
Aren't you?
And my life...until the very
moment of your birth
...has been merely --
[ growling ]
WENDELL:
Ugh.
You ever taken a dump and you
throw up on your dick?
[gasps ]
Bad Cody II! Bad!
[ Growls ]
Oh, yeah?
Well, we are about to establish
some boundaries.
Wendell!
Wendell, open this door.
WENDELL:
Just a second!
Screw that. Let's blast it.
On three.
Now look who's
bossy with counting.
- Dude.
- Well...
Okay.
One...
Tw--
[ growling ]
Hyah!
What?
Now what the hell do we do?
Well, for starters,
we're gonna need a bigger onesie.
Like 50 times I said that.
Previously on
"Frisky Dingo"...
Now all I need is the coupling,
and then I shall control
the Annihilatrix!
Nows all I need is the key,
then I'll control the frickin'
Annihilatrix.
What?
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
I tell you to stop?
[ Strained ]
No.
But he did say something about
controlling the Annihilatrix.
Well, how am I
supposed to find him?
L...just know the motel he
hangs out at,
plus I have his
picture.
KILLFACE:
Wendell!
That son of a filthy
fat-tittied whore.
[ Mumbling ]
Oh.
ju--
piss on the swear jar.
VAL:
Come on, already!
- Let's start being gay!
- All right.
Get that bulletproof armor
off and get out here.
SINN:
Just give me a minute!
VAL:
Gay-fer.
COMPUTER:
Intruder detected.
SINN:
Wait, what was that?
Probably the "quit being a
pussy and go be gay" alarm.
Come on!
Skin out, hot tits!
All right, I'm --
[ laser-gun shots ]
Duh-hoy.
All right, Killface.
Let's see how you like an army
of Deceptiloids.
COMPUTER:
Intruder detected.
Well, if there's no intruder,
why's the frickin' alarm
going off?
I don't know.
Maybe your mom was, um...
Uh, wait.
What are you doing?
Damn. I had something.
Okay, Deceptortrons,
listen up.
Hey, what are you doing in
Sinn's armor?
Oh...
- Ow! Hey!
- What the --
Hey! Damn it!
My key!
Yes, the key!
The key to your...
ah, wait, damn, I had something.
Naw, it's gone.
- Uh...
- As am I!
[ Hooves clacking ]
Hyah!
Who the hell was that?
That's Steve,
from Machete Squad.
What?
We have a machete squad?
Yeah.
That guy Steve's on it.
Wendell, Wendell...
where the --
come in, assface.
Yeah, I don't know if that
thing's working.
Well, not with that attitude.
- Crews.
- Aah!
Oh, wait, there it goes.
Our love child,
the fruit of your feckless seed,
is due any time now.
And mark my words --
once he is born,
he will rise up and
destroy you!
[ laughs evilly ]
- What the hell are you doing?
- Wendell?
Hi, Mr. Crews!
Come on,
we got to get out of here.
Wendell!
Wow.
Great.
My crazy-ass bug-lady
ex-girlfriend
is raising a giant
ant monster to kill me.
Well, he'll probably be a
larva first.
Either way!
And also, even if he wasn't a
revenge-driven ant larva,
not entirely sure I'd make a
good father.
No kidding.
[ Chuckles ]
And now, who are you, again?
I'm Jenna.
Your daughter.
[ Sighs ]
[beep]
Oh, and your daughter's here
to see you.
Ashley, are you even
on-site?
No, are you?
All right, let me get this
straight.
You're saying that Steve guy and
the Crab Man killed Sinn.
Yeah!
Then put me in her armor to make
it look like I did it --
Damn, that Steve's crafty.
...then took off with the
Bug Lady to give birth in a
secret location!
They're probably starting
an Ant-baby Machete-squad
Splinter Group!
[all gasp]
Steve mentioned that!
Well, we can track Steve by
the GPS beacon in his pants.
Not if we're stuck in here.
I'm on it!
[zap]
Aah!
Yeah, that's a force field,
idiot.
Well, if you're so smart,
how come you're not in Ant-baby
Machete Squad?
Oh, I will be.
I'll be squad leader.
Hey, guys.
Why don't we just use the hole?
[ laughter ]
Things Cliff's dad says to
him.
You'd like us to use your
hole.
[ laughter ]
Oh, wow.
Yeah, uh, actually,
that's a pretty good idea, Cliff.
For once.
I have good ideas.
ANTAGONE:
But what to name this child
who will one day destroy
Xander Crews...
why don't you name him
Xander Crews?
'Cause then he'd be, like,
destroying himself!
You know, metaphorically.
- No.
- Oh, or Cody.
No!
I want something...
that works with a girl
or a boy.
...regal.
- Cody ll.
- No, fool!
It's evocative.
Not Cody any number.
And why aren't we at a hospital?
'Cause I get a special rate
here.
Plus, a doctor sees a thing like
that coming out of you...
yeah, he's on the phone.
Next thing you know, you're
having a C-section in Area 51...
[gasps ]
...compliments of
Steven Seagal.
Not my baby!
Don't you worry.
I'll never let that happen.
Because, well,
I guess what I'm saying is...
Antagone, will you --
Hey!
You "hey."
Uh, can you excuse us?
Just a second?
Yeah, I'm just gonna
need a minute here...
- ...for this.
- Uh...
Just go stand way over there.
Now...
[ clears throat ]
[ Footsteps receding ]
Now, what brings you here,
little girl?
My mom's name was
Felicity Finnegan.
Felicity Finnegan!
- Yeah.
- Not ringing a bell.
You dated her about
14 years ago.
Oh!
For like three years.
No memory of this.
And then abandoned her when
she got pregnant.
No, I think I'd
remember that.
Okay,
I have a picture of you two.
XANDER:
Oh, fat tits Finnegan!
Yeah! Super lady.
What is she up to?
She died of cancer.
- Oh.
- On Thursday.
God,
so close to the weekend.
Wait, was it vagina cancer?
What? No.
'Cause I don't know
if you've had "the talk"...
- it wasn't mouth cancer, was it?
- No.
- Oh, my god.
- What?
- Not...asshole cancer?
- No!
It was in her lymph nodes!
Where are the lymph nodes?!
I don't know!
Kind of all over your body.
- Including her ass?!
- Idon--
Bap, bap!
[ dialing ]
[ Sighs ]
[ Telephone ringing ]
[ sighs ]
It's ringing.
Uh, hello, hi,
this is Xander Crews.
Yeah, I know.
And I need to get
tested for cancer.
Ugh!
Cancer is not even contagious!
Unrelated.
Hmm?
Uh...
penis, I guess?
[ Sighs ]
And...balls.
Might have touched something.
Look...
No, you listen.
- I'm who's in love with Antagone.
- What?
So just bag off, jagoff.
Well, I love her more than
you do.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
Well...
Then Jingo!
Argh!
Oh, my god.
He went to Jared's.
ANTAGONE:
[ groans ]
Crabman, what's-your-face!
Yeah, I just killed a man for her.
She don't even know
my freakin' name.
High school all over again.
They say you never outgrow it.
I can't believe you paid your
daughter
$1 million never to
contact you again.
Hey, she's no angel,
all right.
She signed the contract, too.
Yeah, you were a huge dick.
God, you're right.
Hey, Janet.
Yeah?
Oh, wait. Damn.
I had something.
Just -- ll guess just bye, then.
[ Door closes ]
She's a good kid.
All righty.
If you can climb down off of my
ball sack,
I've got a birth to
prevent.
Why don't you just buy that
one off?
[ laughs mockingly ]
[ grunts ]
DOCTOR:
[ grunts ]
Ass.
Oh, real quick --
also check my ass.
Unrelated.
[ Groans ]
Could we possibly go any slower?
Actually, yeah.
'Cause this is as fast
as jet boots go.
So why didn't we just go
out the hole,
go back in through the hangar
bay and take the damn X-caliber?
All:
[ groan]
I said that like 50 times.
No, you didn't.
Well, I would have if you guys
didn't always make fun of
my ideas.
Yeah, that homemade slingbox
was a winner.
[ laughter ]
I forgot about the slingbox.
Oh, I thought that was a
potato clock.
- Shut up.
- Everybody shut up.
Come on, guys, she's right.
- God.
- This is what Steve wants.
Idiots.
Plus, by now,
it'll take twice as long to go
back to the ship, so.
Oh, are we that close?
Yeah,
you can actually see it.
WENDELL:
Oh, gross.
My god, I can see it.
It's not gross!
Yeah, you're not down here.
It's like a boar's head truck
just T-boned a bloodmobile.
[ Groaning ]
It hurts.
Yeah, it hurts.
It's [bleep] ruined.
Now big push.
Here...goes.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Stop, stop, stop.
What?
I'm gonna throw up.
Get back here.
[ Retching ]
[ Groaning ]
WENDELL:
Do you have any Scope?
Get your fat ass back here.
[ Knock on door ]
[gasps ]
Housekeeping.
Oh, my god.
It's the Area 51 people.
Hey, would you shut
the [bleep] up?
Oh, the baby --
he's coming!
No it ain't,
slurp it back up inside you.
Come on.
I can hear you in there.
And you need these towels.
Damn it, we don't
need any more...towels.
[ Muttering ]
You haven't even
used those towels.
And what are you doing here?
Well, I'm not here to buy
douche bags,
so it doesn't
really concern you.
Unless you have seen
the bug lady.
No.
I'm still looking for that
perfidious Wendell.
Well, they're together.
Gross.
And they're somewhere
close by.
[ Groaning ]
Son of a bitch!
Oh, I know.
They have been running like
swine all afternoon.
Damn it, that's not sex.
- It's a --
-[ screams ]
[ Splat! ]
[ baby crying ]
Good lord.
That's a baby.
Duh-hoy.
And he's the most beautiful
baby in the whole wide world.
Aren't you?
And my life...until the very
moment of your birth
...has been merely --
[ growling ]
WENDELL:
Ugh.
You ever taken a dump and you
throw up on your dick?
[gasps ]
Bad Cody II! Bad!
[ Growls ]
Oh, yeah?
Well, we are about to establish
some boundaries.
Wendell!
Wendell, open this door.
WENDELL:
Just a second!
Screw that. Let's blast it.
On three.
Now look who's
bossy with counting.
- Dude.
- Well...
Okay.
One...
Tw--
[ growling ]
Hyah!
What?
Now what the hell do we do?
Well, for starters,
we're gonna need a bigger onesie.
Like 50 times I said that.