Frisky Dingo (2006–2008): Season 2, Episode 10 - Wendell Goes Undercover Again - full transcript
KILLFACE:
Previously on "Frisky Dingo"...
Boosh!
STAN:
My god, a missile!
We've been hit!
Boosh!
Boosh! Boosh! Boosh! Boosh!
Boosh! Boosh!
What? Oh, no, no!
Pull up!
[ Chuckles ]
Boosh.
[ Sighs ]
You know...
Come on, already!
Stupid parachute!
- If you want to go ahead and deploy it,
- I'm trying.
Now would probably be
a good time!
[gasps ]
This is the wrong suit!
Did not see this coming.
[ Both scream ]
[ Drill whirs ]
KILLFACE: All right,
I've got the old coupling out.
[ Screaming continues ]
[ Chuckles ]
[ Thud, car alarm sounds ]
Boosh.
KILLFACE: And I don't
see what's so damn funny
about an
airplane destroying our condo.
You know,
your things burned up, too.
[ Mumbles ]
KILLFACE:
Oh, I don't know --
like your stash of
Swiss cake rolls.
What?
[ car alarm beeps ]
- Yes.
- [ mumbling ]
KILLFACE: Oh, did a burglar
break in and duct-tape them
inside the
toilet-tank lid?
Um...
no.
KILLFACE: No,
because that's not profitable.
[ Mumbles ]
KILLFACE:
Oh, shut up.
Snacky Onassis.
[gasps ]
[gasps ]
There!
Did you feel that?
- Umm...
- Is that a kick, or...
He just kicked!
You didn't feel that?
I'm sorry, I really don't
feel anything.
[gasp]
- Whoa!
- Holy crap!
- Now that time, 1 felt it.
Wow, man,
he's a regular Tom Dempsey.
But hopefully without the
birth defects, right?
- Dude.
- Why would you say that?
Oh, I'm really sorry.
I think my mouth
has a birth defect.
Come on, man!
I just did it again, see?
Hey.
He'll have hands.
He's going to be perfect.
XANDER: Yeah,
I-I-I-I-I don't know about this.
WENDELL:
What do you mean?
This is perfect.
I sneak up there,
find beddy-bug lady -- jingo!
Cut that kid out of her.
Yeah, I don't know,
buddy.
We're dealing with some
profound ideologies here.
On the one side,
he's anti-abortion.
On the other side, Jingo!
I got a machete, so...
Deal with it, Congress.
You can't legislate morality,
although you can legislate
machetes.
- Turns out.
- [ belches ]
- Which, umm...
Thank god this isn't Canada.
Yeah, you're a little
pocket Zorro.
You can't do this by yourself.
That's why I rigged up
a camera and two-way radio in
the old brain bucket.
Yeah, see that?
You see what I see.
Oh, my god.
Stop staring at my halo!
- I'm sorry. It's just, uh --
- Uh, retarded?
- Yeah.
- Kind of like your plan,
which is straight out of
"Mission: Impossible"!
Oh, you saw that?
Uh, yeah.
Well, did you see
"Inner Space"?
[ Sighs ]
Because I have access to a
top-secret device --
A shrink ray...
if you will...
Just like in "Inner Space™!
DOCTOR:
...which I can use to shrink you
and this experimental
submersible...
WENDELL: What ever
happened to Martin Short?
- ...down to the size of a blood clot.
- He never caught on.
- Then we inject you into his brain,
- Wait what?
Where you access his motor
functions and adrenal glands,
then utilize your
superhero abilities
to turn Wendell "X" into an
unstoppable fighting machine.
Hmm...
Yeah, I'm gonna pass on that
because it is retarded!
- Wendell?
- Yo! Yes?
Go kill that baby,
buddy.
Now, there's a movie
I haven't seen.
Uh...
"Vera Drake"?
Didn't see it.
It's, for an abortion movie,
pretty funny.
Let's rent it.
- Done!
- Okay.
All abort!
Doot-doot!
- Whoa!
- That is adorable!
Oh, he's really getting
worked up.
Oh, yeah.
Definitely some activity
down here.
What? Can you see him?
Is he crowning?
I don't know or care what
that means.
He's gonna come soon!
I can feel it!
You can feel that?
LOBSTER:
Oh, Sinn, isn't it beautiful?
Beautiful? It's disgusting.
Wait, but --
Vagina getting all mushed out?
That doesn't just snap back.
Don't you want to have babies
with me?
- My god, no! Arthur!
- What? what?
I have a career as a
supervillain.
Well, Henchperson.
Henchperson?
I happen to wield the awesome
power of the Annihilatrix.
Well, you still need the
launch code.
Duh. Frisky Dingo.
What does that mean, anyway?
All that remains is to track
down that spare coupling.
All right,
wipe the jelly off and give me
that spare coupling.
[ Mumbles ]
KILLFACE: Wha-- Where is it?
Um...
MAN:
Totally out of nowhere,
'cause I was all like,
"you're so distant.
What are we doing?"
And he was like,
"you're so emotionally needy,"”
and then he just shows
up with this.
Hmm?
No, dude.
It's [bleep] platinum!
[ Chuckles ]
Well, or Marc Anthony.
[ Mumbles ]
It's got to work!
So angry right now.
TAQU'IL:
Holy crap!
Saved by my Haggar suit.
Did not see that coming.
Thank god for the quality
workmanship
in Haggar's
patented suit-up system.
God, those are great suits.
But what made that
car alarm go off?
One of my shoes flew off.
Too bad Haggar doesn't make
shoes.
[ Both laugh ]
Haggar shoes.
But now what do we do?
Oh, leave that to Haggar's
"do it to it"
comfort waistband
with grappling hook.
Aah!
[ Clang! ]
Okay, hang on.
[ Smooches ]
For luck.
SINN:
Don't do this to me!
- Not now!
- When, then?
After!
After I enact my evil plan!
But your plan's to destroy
the world.
When did you get so
emotionally needy?
Also, there's a decent chance
that me and her
are gonna be gay
for each other.
Yeah, also that.
- Yeah.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
This is actually kind of
a lot for me to process all at
once.
Well, process it while you
kill Antagone.
What?!
Snap.
KILLFACE:
He lives in our building?
Oh, my god, a Tea Baggins right
under my nose.
[ Mumbles ]
My fault?
Oh, I suppose all those
terrifying nights
you were down
with the croup --
that was me praying,
"Oh, god,
if you'd just let him breathe,
he could be gay
as a tangerine when he grows up.”
[ mumbles ]
You what?
Wha--
Why did you lie about being gay?
[ Mumbles ]
Well, you certainly
got your wish.
I'm not the bloody President now,
am I?
'M not?!
Doesn't look like it.
And do you, Mr. Ford,
solemnly swear to defend the
Constitution of
the United States of America?
Huh?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Mm-hmm.
TAQU'IL:
Damn it, we got to get back
to the White House and
expose Mr. Ford!
No. If I know Mr. Ford,
he's already taken the necessary
countermeasures.
Uh, sir,
I cannot understand you.
Dofflegegger.
Double kegger?
Are you deaf?
Dollergegger! Damn it
Are you trying to say,
"doppelganger"?
Huh?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Uh, be advised,
the former President may have a
doppelganger.
That's what he said.
Damn you, Mr. Ford!
KILLFACE: What do you
mean, you don't have it?
- 1 gave it to Steve.
-[gasps ]
Wha--
Who the hell is Steve?!
I'm into it -- you know,
of course.
I just thought you'd be
more...albino-y.
Um...
l think that was taken in winter.
Well -- hey, is that a
platinum necklace?
Okay, here's the deal.
Give me that necklace...
I'll let you suck me off.
[ Mumbles ]
Well, or Marc Anthony.
Where is he,
you fuzzy little fruit?
I happen to don't know!
[ Mumbles ]
No, he never called me back.
[ Blows raspberry ]
[ Chuckles ]
MAN:
Hey, who the hell are you?
WENDELL: Um, I'm Steve -- from, uh...
Machete Squad.
And you're doing...
I'm fixing this...
thing with a machete.
Good job, Steve!
Commence
"Operation Vera Drake."
COMPUTER:
Intruder detected.
Jingo!
Come on, Steve!
You can fix that thing later!
Intruder detected.
Deceptacles!
Let's move!
What is it? What is that?
Ernie, let's go!
[ Grunts ]
Yeah, I'm done here.
Please,
you must protect my baby.
Don't worry, nobody is gonna
hurt that baby.
Move, crab man!
You hear that,
my sweet darling?
No one will ever,
ever hurt you.
Oh, my god.
I can't kill Antagone.
I'm in love with her.
[gasps ]
Me, too!
Aren't you a little short
and/or chubby to be a
Deceptacle?
Huh? Oh, the helmet.
I'm Wendell
I'm here to rescue you.
You're what?
XANDER:
What?!
WENDELL:
Her -- here to rescue her.
Did not see that coming.
Wendell!
'Cause I love her.
Hey, me too!
We should totally team up!
XANDER:
Wendell!
Could l...ride you?
God...damn it.
So...can we watch
"Vera Drake" now?
Previously on "Frisky Dingo"...
Boosh!
STAN:
My god, a missile!
We've been hit!
Boosh!
Boosh! Boosh! Boosh! Boosh!
Boosh! Boosh!
What? Oh, no, no!
Pull up!
[ Chuckles ]
Boosh.
[ Sighs ]
You know...
Come on, already!
Stupid parachute!
- If you want to go ahead and deploy it,
- I'm trying.
Now would probably be
a good time!
[gasps ]
This is the wrong suit!
Did not see this coming.
[ Both scream ]
[ Drill whirs ]
KILLFACE: All right,
I've got the old coupling out.
[ Screaming continues ]
[ Chuckles ]
[ Thud, car alarm sounds ]
Boosh.
KILLFACE: And I don't
see what's so damn funny
about an
airplane destroying our condo.
You know,
your things burned up, too.
[ Mumbles ]
KILLFACE:
Oh, I don't know --
like your stash of
Swiss cake rolls.
What?
[ car alarm beeps ]
- Yes.
- [ mumbling ]
KILLFACE: Oh, did a burglar
break in and duct-tape them
inside the
toilet-tank lid?
Um...
no.
KILLFACE: No,
because that's not profitable.
[ Mumbles ]
KILLFACE:
Oh, shut up.
Snacky Onassis.
[gasps ]
[gasps ]
There!
Did you feel that?
- Umm...
- Is that a kick, or...
He just kicked!
You didn't feel that?
I'm sorry, I really don't
feel anything.
[gasp]
- Whoa!
- Holy crap!
- Now that time, 1 felt it.
Wow, man,
he's a regular Tom Dempsey.
But hopefully without the
birth defects, right?
- Dude.
- Why would you say that?
Oh, I'm really sorry.
I think my mouth
has a birth defect.
Come on, man!
I just did it again, see?
Hey.
He'll have hands.
He's going to be perfect.
XANDER: Yeah,
I-I-I-I-I don't know about this.
WENDELL:
What do you mean?
This is perfect.
I sneak up there,
find beddy-bug lady -- jingo!
Cut that kid out of her.
Yeah, I don't know,
buddy.
We're dealing with some
profound ideologies here.
On the one side,
he's anti-abortion.
On the other side, Jingo!
I got a machete, so...
Deal with it, Congress.
You can't legislate morality,
although you can legislate
machetes.
- Turns out.
- [ belches ]
- Which, umm...
Thank god this isn't Canada.
Yeah, you're a little
pocket Zorro.
You can't do this by yourself.
That's why I rigged up
a camera and two-way radio in
the old brain bucket.
Yeah, see that?
You see what I see.
Oh, my god.
Stop staring at my halo!
- I'm sorry. It's just, uh --
- Uh, retarded?
- Yeah.
- Kind of like your plan,
which is straight out of
"Mission: Impossible"!
Oh, you saw that?
Uh, yeah.
Well, did you see
"Inner Space"?
[ Sighs ]
Because I have access to a
top-secret device --
A shrink ray...
if you will...
Just like in "Inner Space™!
DOCTOR:
...which I can use to shrink you
and this experimental
submersible...
WENDELL: What ever
happened to Martin Short?
- ...down to the size of a blood clot.
- He never caught on.
- Then we inject you into his brain,
- Wait what?
Where you access his motor
functions and adrenal glands,
then utilize your
superhero abilities
to turn Wendell "X" into an
unstoppable fighting machine.
Hmm...
Yeah, I'm gonna pass on that
because it is retarded!
- Wendell?
- Yo! Yes?
Go kill that baby,
buddy.
Now, there's a movie
I haven't seen.
Uh...
"Vera Drake"?
Didn't see it.
It's, for an abortion movie,
pretty funny.
Let's rent it.
- Done!
- Okay.
All abort!
Doot-doot!
- Whoa!
- That is adorable!
Oh, he's really getting
worked up.
Oh, yeah.
Definitely some activity
down here.
What? Can you see him?
Is he crowning?
I don't know or care what
that means.
He's gonna come soon!
I can feel it!
You can feel that?
LOBSTER:
Oh, Sinn, isn't it beautiful?
Beautiful? It's disgusting.
Wait, but --
Vagina getting all mushed out?
That doesn't just snap back.
Don't you want to have babies
with me?
- My god, no! Arthur!
- What? what?
I have a career as a
supervillain.
Well, Henchperson.
Henchperson?
I happen to wield the awesome
power of the Annihilatrix.
Well, you still need the
launch code.
Duh. Frisky Dingo.
What does that mean, anyway?
All that remains is to track
down that spare coupling.
All right,
wipe the jelly off and give me
that spare coupling.
[ Mumbles ]
KILLFACE: Wha-- Where is it?
Um...
MAN:
Totally out of nowhere,
'cause I was all like,
"you're so distant.
What are we doing?"
And he was like,
"you're so emotionally needy,"”
and then he just shows
up with this.
Hmm?
No, dude.
It's [bleep] platinum!
[ Chuckles ]
Well, or Marc Anthony.
[ Mumbles ]
It's got to work!
So angry right now.
TAQU'IL:
Holy crap!
Saved by my Haggar suit.
Did not see that coming.
Thank god for the quality
workmanship
in Haggar's
patented suit-up system.
God, those are great suits.
But what made that
car alarm go off?
One of my shoes flew off.
Too bad Haggar doesn't make
shoes.
[ Both laugh ]
Haggar shoes.
But now what do we do?
Oh, leave that to Haggar's
"do it to it"
comfort waistband
with grappling hook.
Aah!
[ Clang! ]
Okay, hang on.
[ Smooches ]
For luck.
SINN:
Don't do this to me!
- Not now!
- When, then?
After!
After I enact my evil plan!
But your plan's to destroy
the world.
When did you get so
emotionally needy?
Also, there's a decent chance
that me and her
are gonna be gay
for each other.
Yeah, also that.
- Yeah.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
This is actually kind of
a lot for me to process all at
once.
Well, process it while you
kill Antagone.
What?!
Snap.
KILLFACE:
He lives in our building?
Oh, my god, a Tea Baggins right
under my nose.
[ Mumbles ]
My fault?
Oh, I suppose all those
terrifying nights
you were down
with the croup --
that was me praying,
"Oh, god,
if you'd just let him breathe,
he could be gay
as a tangerine when he grows up.”
[ mumbles ]
You what?
Wha--
Why did you lie about being gay?
[ Mumbles ]
Well, you certainly
got your wish.
I'm not the bloody President now,
am I?
'M not?!
Doesn't look like it.
And do you, Mr. Ford,
solemnly swear to defend the
Constitution of
the United States of America?
Huh?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Mm-hmm.
TAQU'IL:
Damn it, we got to get back
to the White House and
expose Mr. Ford!
No. If I know Mr. Ford,
he's already taken the necessary
countermeasures.
Uh, sir,
I cannot understand you.
Dofflegegger.
Double kegger?
Are you deaf?
Dollergegger! Damn it
Are you trying to say,
"doppelganger"?
Huh?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Uh, be advised,
the former President may have a
doppelganger.
That's what he said.
Damn you, Mr. Ford!
KILLFACE: What do you
mean, you don't have it?
- 1 gave it to Steve.
-[gasps ]
Wha--
Who the hell is Steve?!
I'm into it -- you know,
of course.
I just thought you'd be
more...albino-y.
Um...
l think that was taken in winter.
Well -- hey, is that a
platinum necklace?
Okay, here's the deal.
Give me that necklace...
I'll let you suck me off.
[ Mumbles ]
Well, or Marc Anthony.
Where is he,
you fuzzy little fruit?
I happen to don't know!
[ Mumbles ]
No, he never called me back.
[ Blows raspberry ]
[ Chuckles ]
MAN:
Hey, who the hell are you?
WENDELL: Um, I'm Steve -- from, uh...
Machete Squad.
And you're doing...
I'm fixing this...
thing with a machete.
Good job, Steve!
Commence
"Operation Vera Drake."
COMPUTER:
Intruder detected.
Jingo!
Come on, Steve!
You can fix that thing later!
Intruder detected.
Deceptacles!
Let's move!
What is it? What is that?
Ernie, let's go!
[ Grunts ]
Yeah, I'm done here.
Please,
you must protect my baby.
Don't worry, nobody is gonna
hurt that baby.
Move, crab man!
You hear that,
my sweet darling?
No one will ever,
ever hurt you.
Oh, my god.
I can't kill Antagone.
I'm in love with her.
[gasps ]
Me, too!
Aren't you a little short
and/or chubby to be a
Deceptacle?
Huh? Oh, the helmet.
I'm Wendell
I'm here to rescue you.
You're what?
XANDER:
What?!
WENDELL:
Her -- here to rescue her.
Did not see that coming.
Wendell!
'Cause I love her.
Hey, me too!
We should totally team up!
XANDER:
Wendell!
Could l...ride you?
God...damn it.
So...can we watch
"Vera Drake" now?