Frasier (1993–2004): Season 8, Episode 20 - The Wizard and Roz - full transcript

[laughing]

HELLO. HEY.

AH, THE WEEKEND
WARRIORS HAVE RETURNED.

YEAH, YOU BETTER
WATCH OUT, DR. CRANE,

I'M GETTING PRETTY
GOOD AT KICKBOXING.

IT'S TRUE, IT'S TRUE.

SHE HITS SO HARD, THEY
CALL HER "THE BRITISH POUND."

YOU HIT PRETTY HARD
YOURSELF THERE, NAILS.

I'M GONNA HOP IN THE SHOWER.

"NAILS"?

OH, YOU SCRATCH ONE GUY...



OH, MY ELECTROLYTES
ARE PLUMMETING.

CARE TO JOIN ME IN A SHERRY?

OH, WELL, ACTUALLY,
I'D LOVE TO, NILES,

BUT I'M OFF TO SEE
DR. TEWKSBURY.

OH, I DIDN'T REALIZE YOUR
MENTOR WAS STILL IN TOWN.

YES, AND BECAUSE OF IT,

I'VE BEEN THE FORTUNATE RECIPIENT
OF SOME INFORMAL THERAPY.

IT'S REALLY BEEN
QUITE ENLIGHTENING.

YOU KNOW, I CONSIDER
MYSELF LUCKY

TO BE IN THE HANDS
OF SUCH A MASTER.

MMM.

WELL, I'M HAPPY
FOR YOU, FRASIER.

HE IS A GIFTED PSYCHIATRIST,

EVEN IF I DON'T SHARE YOUR
GOD-LIKE WORSHIP OF HIM.



WELL, I SIMPLY HAVE A HEALTHY
RESPECT FOR THE MAN, NILES.

IT'S HARDLY WORSHIP.

OH, PLEASE, YOU'RE ONE STEP AWAY

FROM SEEING HIS IMAGE
APPEAR IN A TORTILLA.

NILES, THANK HEAVENS
YOU'RE STILL HERE.

OH, WHAT'S WRONG?

YOU CAN'T GO TO NERVOSA TODAY.

WHY NOT? I JUST
HAD A PSYCHIC VISION

THAT SOMETHING BAD IS
GONNA HAPPEN TO YOU.

OH, COME ON, DAPHNE.

(Daphne) NILES, I'M SERIOUS.

I KNOW YOU DON'T
BELIEVE IN VISIONS,

BUT IT'S IMPORTANT TO ME.
PROMISE ME YOU WON'T GO.

WELL, ALL RIGHT, IF IT
MEANS THAT MUCH TO YOU,

I... I... I WON'T GO, I'LL...
I'LL GO STRAIGHT HOME.

THANK YOU. I FEEL MUCH BETTER.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

(Frasier) WOW.

THAT WAS SCARY.

DON'T TELL ME YOU
BELIEVE IN THAT STUFF?

NO, I MEAN THE WAY SHE CAN
MANIPULATE YOU LIKE THAT.

OH, PLEASE, I WAS
JUST BEING DIPLOMATIC.

TELL ME, IS IT DIFFICULT TO
KICKBOX WITHOUT A SPINE?

YOU'RE GONNA FIND OUT.

HELLO, FRASIER. OH, HI, ROZ.

OH, BEEN ON A
SHOPPING SPREE, I SEE.

YES. ALICE IS VISITING HER
GRANDMOTHER FOR THE WEEK.

SO I FINALLY HAVE
SOME TIME TO MYSELF.

OH.

IT IS GREAT SHOPPING WITHOUT
HER PULLING DOWN A DISPLAY RACK.

[Frasier chuckling]

NOT ONLY THAT, I
ACTUALLY WOKE UP TODAY

WITHOUT SOMEONE
JUMPING ON MY BED

AND STICKING HER LITTLE
FINGERS UP MY NOSE.

AND I DIDN'T HAVE TO SPEND
HALF THE MORNING COMBING KNOTS

OUT OF THAT LITTLE
GIRL'S CURLS...

GIVE ALICE MY LOVE.
THANK YOU, I WILL.

PSST! FRASIER.

CAN YOU GET ME A LATTE?

WELL, WHY DON'T YOU JUST
GET IT YOURSELF, NILES?

OH, THAT'S RIGHT.

[sarcastically] IT'S BAD
MUGAMBO FOR YOU TO ENTER.

YOU KNOW I PROMISED DAPHNE.

YES, YES,

AND WOE BETIDE HE WHO
DISOBEYETH THE ORACLE.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT. WAIT, WAIT.

MAYBE IF I... IF I GET IT TO GO
AND DON'T ACTUALLY SIT DOWN,

THEN I WON'T BE
BREAKING MY PROMISE.

STEP ASIDE, EVERYBODY, BIG
SET OF ONIONS COMING THROUGH.

LATTE TO GO, PLEASE.

HELLO, FRASIER.

DR. TEWKSBURY.

WELL, UH...

GOSH, UH, THIS IS QUITE A
SURPRISE. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WELL, I'VE HEARD YOU MENTION
HOW GOOD THEIR COFFEE IS HERE.

I THOUGHT I'D GIVE IT A TRY.

MAY I JOIN YOU?

OH, YES, YES, OF COURSE.
I'M... I'M TERRIBLY SORRY.

OH, ROZ, UH, MEET DR. TEWKSBURY.

THIS IS MY PRODUCER, ROZ DOYLE.

HI. AND MY... MY BROTHER, NILES.

NILES, DR. TEWKSBURY.

HOW DO YOU DO? HELLO.

I DON'T BELIEVE WE'VE EVER MET,

BUT I SEEM TO RECALL READING

A FASCINATING PAPER
OF YOURS RECENTLY.

OH, YES, IT WAS PROBABLY
THE ONE ABOUT PHOBIAS.

OH, CAN'T SIT, CAN'T SIT.

OH.

IT'S A LONG STORY.

ANYWAY, UH, DR. TEWKSBURY,

I... I WAS JUST WONDERING,
DID YOU HAPPEN TO READ

THE ARTICLE ON
BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION IN...

NOW, NOW, FRASIER,
LET'S NOT TALK SHOP.

YOU DON'T WANT TO BORE ROZ.

OH, IT'S ALL JUST
WHITE NOISE TO ME NOW.

IT'S ALL RIGHT.

UH, NILES, PLEASE, WOULD YOU
STOP HOVERING AND JUST SIT DOWN?

UH, WELL, ALL RIGHT.
WHAT CAN IT HURT?

SO... NILES!

DAPHNE! OH!

HOW COULD YOU COME DOWN HERE?

YOU BROKE YOUR
PROMISE. AND MY PATELLA.

WELL, NOTHING BAD
WOULD'VE HAPPENED

IF YOU'D PAID ATTENTION
TO MY PREMONITION.

WELL, ACTUALLY, NOTHING
BAD WOULD HAVE HAPPENED

IF YOU HADN'T SHOWN UP.

WELL, IT WOULDN'T HAVE NOT
HAPPENED HAD I NOT SHOWN UP.

WELL, IT WOULDN'T NOT HAVE
HAPPENED IF YOU HADN'T NOT SHOWN UP.

AND I WOULDN'T HAVE
SHOWN UP HAD I NOT KNOWN

THAT YOU WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN
ABLE TO NOT COME DOWN HERE.

WELL, I'M NOT...
NOT... NOT... WHAT?

MY POINT EXACTLY,
YOU DON'T LISTEN.

DAPHNE... OH, OH.

NILES, NILES, YOU ALL RIGHT?

OH, NO. I'VE AGGRAVATED
MY OLD BOSSA NOVA INJURY.

WELL, PERHAPS I HAD
BETTER DRIVE YOU.

I'M SORRY, DR. TEWKSBURY.

(Tewksbury) I UNDERSTAND.

BYE, ROZ. BYE.

[chuckling] WELL,

WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?

WELL, SHE THINKS SHE'S PSYCHIC,

BUT HE DOESN'T BELIEVE HER.

WELL, NO MATTER
WHO'S RIGHT OR WRONG,

NILES NEEDS TO SET UP STRICTER
BOUNDARIES WITH HIS PATIENTS.

I LEARNED THAT FROM
YEARS OF PRACTICE.

NO, NO, SHE'S NOT HIS
PATIENT, SHE'S HIS GIRLFRIEND.

OH, WELL, IN THAT CASE,

NO MATTER WHO'S RIGHT
OR WRONG, HE'S WRONG.

I LEARNED THAT FROM
YEARS OF MARRIAGE.

[chuckling]

(Frasier) IS THERE ANYTHING
I CAN GET YOU, NILES?

HOW... HOW ABOUT A
COLD PACK, PERHAPS?

NO, NO.

IF DAPHNE EVER COMES
OUT OF HER ROOM,

I'LL JUST USE HER ICY STARE.

FRASIER, IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'M GONNA
HAVE TO CANCEL ON THE OPERA TONIGHT.

OH, NILES, YOU KNOW I HATE
GOING TO THE OPERA ALONE.

THROWING A WOMAN'S SHAWL
OVER THE SEAT NEXT TO ME

AND GLANCING EXPECTANTLY
BACK AT THE LADIES' ROOM ALL NIGHT.

YOU DO THAT?

NO.

HEY, WHY DON'T YOU ASK
DR. TEWKSBURY IF HE'D LIKE TO GO?

OH... OH, NO, COME ON,

EVER SINCE HIS DIVORCE, I'M SURE
HE'S ANXIOUS TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE.

WELL, WE'RE IN A QUASI-THERAPEUTIC
RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW.

TRUTH BE TOLD, I... I WAS
ACTUALLY A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE

SOCIALIZING WITH HIM AT NERVOSA.

OH. WELL, I UNDERSTAND.

YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE THE
WIZARD BEHIND THE CURTAIN.

EVERYONE NEEDS AN IDOL.
SOMEONE WHO REPRESENTS

A HIGHER PLATEAU OF
TRUTH AND KNOWLEDGE.

THAT'S VERY INSIGHTFUL, NILES.

FOR SO MANY YEARS, I MUST HAVE
REPRESENTED THAT PLATEAU TO YOU.

THANK YOU, FRASIER. LAUGHTER
IS INDEED THE BEST MEDICINE.

(Niles) OH, DAPHNE,

UH, MY KNEE'S
FEELING MUCH BETTER.

OH. GOOD.

WELL, I HOPE SHE DOESN'T EXPECT
ME TO RUN IN THERE AFTER HER.

GOOD FOR YOU, NILES.

WITH THIS KNEE, I
CAN ONLY HOBBLE.

DAPHNE, I'M SORRY.

ARE YOU SORRY FOR BREAKING YOUR
PROMISE OR FOR NOT BELIEVING ME?

I'M... I'M SORRY FOR
BREAKING MY PROMISE.

SO YOU STILL DON'T BELIEVE
I HAD A PREMONITION?

WELL, IT... IT WASN'T
A PREMONITION.

IT CERTAINLY WAS.

I TOLD YOU IF YOU WENT TO NERVOSA,
SOMETHING BAD WOULD HAPPEN

AND YOU HURT YOUR KNEE.
WHAT MORE PROOF DO YOU NEED?

SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE
SCIENTIFIC THAN THAT, I'M AFRAID.

YOU NEED SCIENTIFIC PROOF?

WELL, I THINK WE CAN DO
SOMETHING ABOUT THAT.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

THERE ARE PEOPLE AROUND
WHO DO THIS SORT OF RESEARCH.

ARE THOSE PEOPLE HERE NOW?

NO! OW!

I'M TALKING ABOUT
LEGITIMATE PROFESSIONALS.

[sighs]

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

BUT IT HAS TO BE
A REAL SCIENTIST.

NOT SOME HUCKSTER WHO COMES HERE
WITH CRYSTALS AND A GHOST-O-METER.

AS LONG AS YOU
HAVE AN OPEN MIND.

AND IT'S PRONOUNCED
"GHOSTOMETERS."

I'M GLAD WE WORKED THIS OUT.

ME, TOO.

AND NOW THAT WE'VE
MADE UP, MAYBE WE COULD...

[purring]

WELL, I GUESS WE KNOW
WHO'S NOT PSYCHIC.

[knocking on door]

[gasping]

FRASIER?

I THOUGHT YOU
WERE THE PIZZA GUY.

I THOUGHT WE WERE
WRITING PROMOS TONIGHT.

YOU FORGOT, DIDN'T YOU? NO.

YES. I'M SORRY.

♪ PIZZA, WE'RE GONNA
HAVE PIZZA, WE'RE... ♪

FRASIER, HELLO.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

OH, JUST, UH, WEARING CLOTHES.

[chuckling] OH. RIGHT.

FRASIER BROUGHT OVER
SOME WORK FROM THE OFFICE.

AH. I'LL JUST GO GET DRESSED.

I'VE GONE BLIND.

AND 10 SECONDS TOO LATE.

SO, SINCE WHEN HAVE YOU AND
DR. TEWKSBURY BEEN SEEING EACH OTHER?

WELL, UM, THE OTHER
DAY AT NERVOSA,

WE REALLY HIT IT
OFF AFTER YOU LEFT

AND, UH, HE ASKED ME TO DINNER,

AND WE'VE BEEN OUT
EVERY NIGHT SINCE.

REALLY? WELL, I... I... I MUST
SAY, I'M A BIT SURPRISED.

WHY?

HE'S SMART, VERY INSIGHTFUL,

AND HE'S SUCH A GREAT LISTENER.

YES, WELL, I'M... I'M
HAPPY FOR YOU, ROZ.

I-I-IT'S JUST A LITTLE DIFFICULT
IMAGINING THE TWO OF YOU TOGETHER.

YOU DON'T THINK I CAN
APPRECIATE A SOPHISTICATED MAN?

YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT JUST
ABOUT SEX FOR ME, FRASIER.

UH, DO... DO YOU
HAVE A STEPLADDER?

MY PANTS ARE STUCK
IN THE CEILING FAN.

FRASIER, LISTEN,
BEFORE WE BEGIN,

I HOPE IT WASN'T TOO AWKWARD

SEEING ME WITH ROZ LAST NIGHT.

NOT AT ALL. I-I-IT'S
JUST A LITTLE

JARRING TO SEE YOU OUT
OF CONTEXT THAT WAY.

IT'S JUST, UH... BUT YOUR
PERSONAL LIFE IS YOUR BUSINESS.

SPEAKING OF WHICH, LET'S...
LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS.

THE CRANE MIND.

YES, LET US.

NOW, LAST TIME WE HAD
JUST BROACHED THE SUBJECT

OF YOUR FATHER'S EXPECTATIONS

AND THEIR EFFECT ON
YOUR EARLY ADULTHOOD.

AS WE KNOW,

[clearing throat]

THE INTERNALIZATION OF
A PARENT'S MORAL CODE

IS CRUCIAL TO THE
DEVELOPMENT OF THE SUPEREGO,

AND CONSIDERING YOUR
FATHER'S STRICTNESS...

FRASIER, IS
EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?

YES, YES, OF COURSE, OF
COURSE. PLEASE CONTINUE.

WELL, YOU MUST ADMIT
THAT HAVING A FATHER

WHOSE VERY OCCUPATION IS THE
ENFORCEMENT OF THE MORAL CODE

WOULD LEAD TO AN
OVERDEVELOPED SUPEREGO.

I BELIEVE I HAVE A
PAPER ON THIS SUBJECT.

RIGHT HERE.

OH, HEY, DAD. HEY.

HOW WAS YOUR DAY?

[door closing]

WHY DON'T YOU JUST TELL
ME WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

WELL, YOU KNOW HOW MY DAY GOES.

PLAY WITH EDDIE, WATCH
T.V., DO MY STRETCHES.

YOU ONLY ASK SO I'LL
ASK YOU ABOUT YOUR DAY.

SO, I'M ASKING.

I AM HURT.

YOU'RE MY FATHER. OF
COURSE I CARE ABOUT YOUR DAY.

OH, WELL, UH, I
PLAYED WITH EDDIE,

UH, WATCHED T.V.,
DID MY STRETCHES.

AH, GOOD.

SO, HOW... I JUST CAME
FROM DR. TEWKSBURY.

THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE
SESSION, I... I JUST COULDN'T FOCUS

ON ANYTHING HE WAS SAYING.

WASN'T HE TALKING ABOUT YOU?

YES, YES, BUT
RECENTLY I SAW HIM IN...

WELL, A
LESS-THAN-DIGNIFIED LIGHT.

AND, UH, EVER SINCE, I'VE...
I'VE JUST FOUND IT IMPOSSIBLE

TO TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY.

I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

IN KOREA,

I HAD THIS COMMANDING
OFFICER, LIEUTENANT FRANKS.

I WOULD HAVE FOLLOWED THAT
GUY INTO THE GATES OF HELL.

I SAW HIM A FEW YEARS LATER.

HE WAS FLIPPING HAMBURGERS
IN A FAST FOOD PLACE.

WELL, THAT WAS HARD TO HANDLE.

I MEAN, THIS GUY TOOK ME
UNDER HIS WING AND MOLDED ME.

LIKE A MENTOR. YEAH, EXACTLY.

HE ALWAYS USED TO SAY THAT ONE
DAY HE'D BE TAKING ORDERS FROM ME.

I JUST NEVER THOUGHT
IT'D BE FOR EXTRA ONIONS.

SO, HOW DID YOU HANDLE IT?

WELL, I JUST REALIZED THAT
IT WAS MY PROBLEM, NOT HIS.

AND I WASN'T GONNA LET THAT
ERASE ALL HE MEANT TO ME.

SO, I JUST MARCHED RIGHT BACK
INTO THAT KITCHEN AND SALUTED HIM.

AND AFTER WE WERE TALKING FOR A
WHILE, I REALIZED NOTHING HAD CHANGED.

HE WAS STILL THE SAME
HARD-CHARGING MAN'S MAN

WHO WASN'T AFRAID
TO GET HIS HANDS DIRTY.

WHICH IS WHY I NEVER
ATE THERE AGAIN.

UH, IF YOU TWO DON'T MIND, DAPHNE'S
PSYCHIC EVALUATOR IS ON THE WAY OVER

AND WOULD LIKE TO
USE THE LIVING ROOM.

OH, FINE WITH ME. THAT
STUFF CREEPS ME OUT, ANYWAY.

NILES, I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU EVER AGREED TO THIS.

THOSE TESTS ARE
BASED ON NOTHING MORE

THAN SUBJECTIVE EVIDENCE
AND LUCKY GUESSES.

YES, NOT AT ALL LIKE
THE SUBJECTIVE EVIDENCE

AND LUCKY GUESSES
PSYCHIATRY IS BASED ON.

THANK YOU.

DON'T WORRY. I WILL THOROUGHLY
APPRAISE THE EXAMINER

AND HIS TESTING METHODS.

[doorbell ringing]

GOOD LUCK. THAT'LL BE HIM.

COME IN. UH, I'M
DR. NILES CRANE.

THIS IS DAPHNE MOON.

HELLO.

HELLO, I'M DR. SHELDON MOREY.

OH, A DOCTOR?

DOCTOR OF...

SPOOKOLOGY!

KIDDING. AH-HA.

THAT'S JUST WHAT
MOST PEOPLE EXPECT.

ACTUALLY, I'M A PROFESSOR OF
PSYCHIATRY AT SEATTLE UNIVERSITY.

REALLY? REALLY? MMM-HMM.

UH, PLEASE, HAVE A SEAT.
OH, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

SO, HMM, YOU'RE
MORE OF A DEBUNKER.

WELL, NO, NOT AT ALL. ACTUALLY,
I APPLY SCIENTIFIC METHOD

TO THE SEARCH FOR
PARANORMAL PHENOMENA.

BELIEVE ME, NOTHING
WOULD MAKE ME HAPPIER

THAN DISCOVERING A
LEGITIMATE PSYCHIC.

OH, SO, YOU'VE NEVER FOUND ONE?

WELL, IF BY PSYCHIC,

YOU MEAN PEOPLE WITH
ABOVE-NORMAL PRESCIENCE, THEN A FEW.

IF YOU MEAN SOMEBODY WHO CAN
BEAT THE HOUSE IN VEGAS, THEN NO.

I THOUGHT I HAD ONE
FOR A WHILE, BUT, UH, NO.

SO, DAPHNE, DO YOU STILL
WANNA GO THROUGH WITH THIS?

I'M READY IF YOU ARE.

ALL RIGHT, DOCTOR,
SHE'S ALL YOURS.

GREAT. NOW, I'VE GOT A CARD...

ACE OF SPADES!

WITH MY OFFICE AND
FAX NUMBER ON IT.

AND YOUR ADDRESS.

[laughing]

CORRECT.

STAR.

CIRCLE.

AND FINALLY?

CIRCLE.

THAT'S IT.

(Morey) THAT WAS
YOUR FINAL TEST.

AND I'M PSYCHIC, RIGHT?

WELL, FIRST WE HAVE TO
COMPARE YOUR RESULTS

TO THOSE OF THE REST
OF THE CONTROL GROUP.

IT'LL JUST TAKE ME A FEW MINUTES
HERE TO RUN THESE NUMBERS, OK?

SO, HOW DO YOU THINK YOU DID?

I THINK I DID PRETTY
WELL ON THE CARDS.

THE PREMONITION TEST
WAS A LITTLE TRICKY

BUT ALL IN ALL, I
WAS IN THE ZONE.

WELL, WE'LL SOON FIND OUT.

YOU KNOW, DAPHNE,
I'M ALWAYS CURIOUS.

WHEN WAS IT THAT YOU FIRST
SUSPECTED YOU HAD PSYCHIC ABILITY?

OH, YEARS AGO, WHEN
I WAS A LITTLE GIRL.

GRAMMY MOON FIRST
SAW THE GIFT IN ME.

SEE, I WAS A GIRL IN A HOUSE
FULL OF BOYS, WHICH I HATED,

UNTIL GRAMMY TOLD ME THAT ONLY
MOON WOMEN HAVE SECOND SIGHT.

SHE HAD IT, HER MOTHER
HAD IT, AND SO ON.

AFTER THAT, I BEGAN NOTICING

I COULD SENSE THINGS
BEFORE THEY HAPPENED.

SORT OF LIKE A SECRET POWER.

ANYWAY, IT'S ALWAYS JUST
BEEN A PART OF WHO I AM.

(Morey) I SEE.

WELL, WE HAVE YOUR RESULTS.

ALL RIGHT.

I DON'T KNOW WHY
I'M A BIT NERVOUS.

SO, DAPHNE, FROM
WHAT I SEE HERE...

WAIT, UH, WAIT.

I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD
DO THIS. I DON'T WANNA KNOW.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I'M... I'M SORRY. I THINK
THIS WAS A BAD IDEA.

WELL, I THOUGHT YOU
WANTED SCIENTIFIC PROOF.

I CHANGED MY MIND.

I DON'T NEED A
STRANGER TELLING ME

ANYTHING ABOUT WHO YOU ARE.

I WANT US TO GET TO KNOW
EACH OTHER ON OUR OWN,

OVER TIME.

I KNEW YOU WERE GONNA SAY THAT.

YOU DID?

NO, BUT I LOVED HEARING IT.

I'M SORRY, DR. MOREY,
WE'VE WASTED YOUR TIME.

IT'S OK.

THE DOG TOLD ME A COUPLE OF
FUNNY JOKES WHILE WE WERE WAITING.

I'M KIDDING.

[Niles and Daphne laughing]

THEY WEREN'T THAT FUNNY.

(Tewksbury) ALL RIGHT, FRASIER,

LET'S START WITH
OUR LAST SESSION.

AS I RECALL, YOU WERE
HAVING DIFFICULTY

GETTING RID OF A CERTAIN
IMAGE IN YOUR MIND?

THAT IS CORRECT. MMM-HMM.

WELL, PERHAPS WE
SHOULD CONFRONT THAT.

OH, DEAR LORD, I... I
ASSUMED THAT WAS ROZ'S.

IT IS.

I WAS AT HER
APARTMENT THIS MORNING.

I STARTED THINKING ABOUT
YOUR ISSUE WITH THE ROBE

AND I DECIDED TO
BRING IT WITH ME.

[clearing throat] NOW, FRASIER,

YOU CONSIDER ME A COMPETENT
PSYCHIATRIST, DON'T YOU?

OF COURSE I DO.

DOES SEEING ME DRESSED
LIKE THIS DIMINISH THAT?

NO, OF COURSE
NOT. IT'S... IT'S JUST...

WELL, I KNOW, ON
A CONSCIOUS LEVEL,

THAT THE GARMENT DOES
NOT CHANGE WHO YOU ARE.

BUT ON A... ON AN UNCONSCIOUS
LEVEL, I-I-I'M ALL WEIRDED OUT.

I MEAN, YOU'RE MY MENTOR,
AND YOU'RE WEARING ROZ'S ROBE.

I'M STILL THE SAME PERSON.

YES, BUT THAT'S ROZ'S ROBE.

AND WHAT DOES ROZ'S
ROBE SIGNIFY TO YOU?

ROZ.

WELL, THEN MAYBE THIS
ISN'T ABOUT YOU AND ME.

MAYBE THIS IS ABOUT YOUR
RELATIONSHIP WITH ROZ.

SEEING ME DRESSED LIKE
THIS BRINGS UP DEEP FEELINGS.

DON'T BE AFRAID
OF THOSE FEELINGS.

GO WITH THEM.

AH, PETERSON, HERE
FOR YOUR MAKE-UP TEST?

I WAS. BUT I'LL
JUST TAKE THE "D".

[knocking on door]

OH, FRASIER.

HEY. YOU GOT A MINUTE?

UM, WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED
TO BE WORKING, ARE WE?

BECAUSE I'M... I'M KIND
OF BUSY RIGHT NOW.

IT'S NOT ABOUT
WORK. OH, COME ON IN.

HAVE A SEAT.

THANKS.

[sighing]

LISTEN, UH...

SOMETHING'S BEEN TROUBLING ME

EVER SINCE I SAW
DR. TEWKSBURY IN YOUR ROBE

AND, UH, AT FIRST I THOUGHT IT
WAS ABOUT THE TOPPLING OF A HERO.

BUT I'VE SINCE DISCOVERED
THAT IT'S REALLY ABOUT YOU.

OH, LET ME GUESS.

I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR
YOUR PRECIOUS MENTOR.

NO, NO, THAT'S
NOT IT, ROZ. UH...

WHEN YOU WERE DESCRIBING

WHAT ATTRACTED
YOU TO DR. TEWKSBURY,

I COULDN'T HELP THINKING THAT,

THAT VERY WELL
COULD HAVE BEEN ME.

SO?

SO, ROZ,

I'VE KNOWN YOU FOR,
WHAT, 8 YEARS NOW?

AND IN ALL THAT TIME, I'VE
SEEN YOU DATE HUNDREDS OF...

CAREFUL. OH, ALL RIGHT.

DOZENS OF MEN.

YET, YOU NEVER SHOWED
ANY INTEREST IN ME.

WELL, EXCEPT FOR THAT ONE DRUNKEN
FLIRTATION AT THE STATION RETREAT.

[snickering]

WELL, ANYWAY, I JUST ASSUMED

THAT IT WAS BECAUSE
I WASN'T YOUR TYPE.

THEN I SEE YOU DRAWN TO
SOMEONE WHO IS SIMILAR TO ME.

YOU'RE JEALOUS?

WELL, NO, NOT... NOT
JEALOUS, NOT EXACTLY.

I-IT'S MORE ALONG
THE LINES OF, UH...

WHY EVERYBODY ELSE AND NOT ME?

FRASIER, DID YOU
EVER STOP TO THINK

THERE MAY BE SOMETHING
SPECIAL ABOUT NOT BEING PICKED?

ROZ, THAT DIDN'T WORK WHEN I
WAS CUT FROM PEE-WEE FOOTBALL.

IT'S NOT GONNA WORK NOW.

OK, I'LL BE HONEST WITH YOU.

WHEN WE FIRST STARTED
WORKING TOGETHER,

I HAD A LITTLE CRUSH ON YOU.

REALLY? YEAH, SURE.

I MEAN, YOU WERE
HANDSOME AND SOPHISTICATED

AND YOU HAD YOUR FRENCH
SUITS AND YOUR ITALIAN SHOES.

ACTUALLY, IT WAS VICE
VERSA, BUT GO ON, GO ON.

BUT YOU WERE COMING
OFF THIS DIVORCE,

AND YOU WERE MY BOSS

AND THE WHOLE THING
WAS JUST TOO WEIRD.

SO I NEVER ACTED ON IT.

AND YOU WERE RIGHT.

YOU WERE, BUT...

ANYWAY, I-IT'S NICE TO
KNOW HOW YOU FELT.

[chuckling] THANKS.

SURE.

[both laughing]

SO, JUST FOR THE RECORD, THOUGH,
YOU... YOU... YOU DID HAVE THE HOTS FOR ME?

YES, YES.

'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT JUST
SAYING THAT? NO, NO.

NO, BUT CAN YOU IMAGINE
THE TWO OF US TOGETHER?

[laughing] OH, GOSH, NO!

THAT'S A STRANGE IDEA.

YEAH, REALLY STRANGE.

GOSH, UH, YEAH, IT'S PRETTY
HARD TO PICTURE, ISN'T IT?

OF COURSE, I MEAN IT... IT WOULDN'T
BE, YOU KNOW, YOUR PROBLEM.

IT'D BE ALL ME.
TRUST ME, ALL ME.

I THINK YOU'RE A PERFECTLY
WONDERFUL PERSON.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M JUST SAYING
HOW GREAT YOU ARE.

NO, YOU'RE GIVING ME THE
"IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME" SPEECH.

IF ANYONE SHOULD BE GIVING
THAT SPEECH, IT'S ME, NOT YOU.

WELL, WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO TELL
YOURSELF, ROZ. ALL RIGHT, GET OUT!

IT SOUNDS TO ME LIKE SOMEBODY

STILL HAS A SOFT SPOT
FOR THE OLD BOSS MAN.

OUT!

(Frasier) ♪ HEY, BABY, I
HEAR THE BLUES A-CALLIN' ♪

♪ TOSSED SALADS
AND SCRAMBLED EGGS ♪

MERCY.

♪ AND MAYBE I SEEM
A BIT CONFUSED ♪

♪ WELL, MAYBE, BUT
I GOT YOU PEGGED ♪

[laughing]

♪ BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ♪

♪ WITH THOSE TOSSED
SALADS AND SCRAMBLED EGGS ♪

♪ THEY'RE CALLIN' AGAIN ♪

GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY!