Frasier (1993–2004): Season 10, Episode 21 - The Devil & Dr. Phil - full transcript
Bebe lures Frasier into dark pathways after revealing that she is also agent to Dr. Phil McGraw.
Dad, why aren't you dressed?
It's 4:00 in the afternoon.
Oh, I've been working nights.
My body clock's off.
I'm eating bacon
and eggs at night,
and drinking beer
in the morning.
That's what you always do.
Yeah, but now I'm
tired all the time.
There must be some way
to end this fight
with your boss.
What's the problem?
Oh, he wants me to date
his sister, and I won't do it,
so he's put me on
graveyard until I cave.
He can't do that.
Why don't you file a complaint?
I'd just as soon keep it
just between the two of us.
I see. Is this woman
really so repulsive
that you're willing to
sacrifice all your nights
just to avoid a date with her?
Well, let me put it this way:
Years of chewing tobacco
have discolored her tooth.
( laughs)
Someone left a
book of one-liners
in the Lost and Found.
Hey, Fras, there's
your friend again.
MAN (on TV): have
seen his top-rated show.
Dr. Phil. Now meet
Dr. Phil McGraw in person.
I'll be talking
about life strategies
at the State Theater
Friday through Sunday.
Come join us. It might
just change your life.
Now, there's a doctor.
I never knew you were
friends with Dr. Phil.
Some years back,
we found ourselves
running into each other at
seminars and conferences.
He's an excellent therapist.
We had a bit of a
clash over ethics.
Oh, really? Mm-hmm.
What did you do,
sleep with a patient?
Not my ethics. His.
The man bilked me out
of $200 in a card game.
He did not bilk you.
It's called a one-eyed jack.
Oh, yes, yes, there is one eye.
But the other eye is
there by implication.
Therefore, the hand
should have been a do-over.
And you can ask
Niles about this, too.
Far as I'm concerned,
the man owes me $200.
This guy's so cheap,
he could squeeze a
nickel till the buffalo chokes.
( laughs)
Dad, exactly how old is
this book of one-liners?
How old?
You're asking me how old?
Well, I'll tell you how old.
1956.
Oh, Frasier, Daphne told me
all about Dr. Phil. Oh.
I can't believe you
know him. Well...
You think you could
get me in backstage?
Roz, I really hadn't
planned on seeing him.
Oh. Jealous, huh?
Oh, it's okay, I understand.
I am most certainly not jealous.
The man happens to owe me $200.
Right.
But you know who could help you
with your jealousy?
Dr. Phil.
He'd be, like...
"So your jealousy of me
has taken over your life.
How's that working for you?"
Yes.
And I'd be, like...
"Fine. My money, sir."
Oh, please?
Please do it for me? Please?
Well...
all right, all right.
Oh, thank you.
All right, I'll see you at work.
Yeah, okay.
Here you go. Oh.
I couldn't remember if
you wanted it black or not,
so I brought it both ways.
Well, that's very
thoughtful of you.
Thank you.
No, you might as well keep it.
You're paying for both.
Hello.
Oh, hi, Daph.
Niles. Hello.
( gasps): Oh, Niles. Mm-hmm?
Look who's here.
NILES: Oh, isn't that adorable?
See this couple?
We-we've seen them
in the park a few times.
They're so sweet together.
We like to think they're
us when we're older.
Look how Old Niles
still puts his jacket around
Old Daphne's shoulders.
Ooh! She's still a
saucy little kitten.
And I'll bet he still rolls over
in the middle of the night...
Yes, the picture is
gotten. Thank you.
Oh, look. I think I've
found Old Frasier.
Oh, yeah.
I see.
Well, I hope the two of you
will understand if, in future,
I choose to knit
scarves only for myself.
Come on, we were only joking.
Yes, I know. It's
all in good fun.
Oh, Niles, I just
remembered. I've got...
Shut up!
Excuse me?
Shut up!
We're trying to knit.
( audience applauding)
ROZ: Dr. Phil!
Dr. Phil, over here!
Roz, please!
At least attempt to be cool.
Phil! Phil!
Well, Frasier
Crane, is that you?
Most assuredly.
Oh, that's you all right.
So how are you?
I'm fine, I'm fine. How's Robin?
She's great. Can you believe it?
We're going on 27 years.
Oh, congratulations.
And how's Lilith?
Well, we've been
divorced now for ten years.
Congratulations.
Hi. I'm Roz Doyle.
Oh, I'm sorry. Yes.
I'm Frasier's producer.
I just think you're wonderful.
I think your show is great,
and you're a truly wise man.
Do you know Tom Hanks?
Uh... no, but thanks
for the compliment.
Y'all come on through.
Oh, thank you. Thanks.
Come on.
So, Frasier, how's your show?
Oh, huge, thank you.
We just added Spokane last year.
And a station in Saint Paul
has agreed to let
me send them a tape.
Can you believe,
after all that time
we spent in the seminars,
that we both turned
out to be broadcasters?
Boy, those were some
good times, weren't they?
Oh, indeed they were.
Although sometimes
the fun and games...
were lacking in fun.
Are you still whining
about that 200 bucks?
Well, it's the
principle of the thing...
I tell you what,
I tell you what.
Why don't we just
discuss it over dinner?
Love to. Can't.
I am so busy...
Personal appearances,
and book signings,
and interviews...
I've got this agent
that's got me going 25/8.
In fact, speak of the
devil, here she comes.
Phil, darling!
Oh! That was sensational!
Bebe?
Frasier!
And Roz, too.
You guys know each other?
She's my agent.
And she used to be mine.
Phil, there's a
swarm of reporters
in your dressing room
waiting to talk to you.
I probably should
be going, actually.
But, Roz, it was
really nice to meet you.
And Frasier,
tell you what, let's do e-mail.
Okay.
Isn't he marvelous?
He's a cowboy...
wrapped in a genius,
wrapped in a dream...
wrapped in another cowboy.
I cannot believe that I have
the same agent as Dr. Phil!
Actually, you don't.
Somebody as big as Dr. Phil
needs all of my attention,
but rest assured, you
are being handled ably
by an agent in whom I
have the utmost confidence.
Who is it?
I want to say Tim...
I think I need to
make a phone call.
Yeah.
So, Bebe... ( chuckles)
however did you land Dr. Phil?
We met about a year ago
at a charity donkey
basketball game.
Donkey basketball?
Texas, darling.
It's like the symphony to them.
Long story short,
I gave him some advice
and, finally, he
hired me full-time.
Well, congratulations.
You can't imagine
the connections I
have these days.
If only you and I had...
Well...
that's water under
the bridge, I guess.
It's fun catching up, but...
Phil's interviewing
stylists for the Emmys.
Bye, Frasier.
What a phony, huh?
She used to be my phony.
Dad, do you think I did the
right thing changing agents?
I mean the one I
have now is fine,
but after I've seen what
Bebe's done for Phil,
I can't help wondering
if maybe I've denied myself
access to a wider world.
Dad, are you all right?
Oh, I'm sorry.
I... I haven't talked to
anybody for a few days.
It feels kind of strange.
Even this is making
me a little uncomfortable.
Dad, you have got to stop
with the graveyard shifts
or you're going to
start seeing apparitions.
No, don't worry about
me. I'm pretty tough.
Listen, I'd love to stay
here talking to you,
but all this sunlight
is making me dizzy.
What, you don't like the sun?
Us night-shift guys call it...
"The Scare-Ball."
( doorbell rings)
Oh, Bebe.
Hello, darling.
I can across this old box
of Frasier strategy memos,
and I thought I'd
bring them by to you.
Gosh, I... I didn't realize
there was so much.
And you thought
I didn't work hard.
Now, now, there's no
reason to take that tone.
Things have certainly worked
out for you, wouldn't you say?
Too true.
But... I can't be blamed for
being a bit of a bitter Bebe.
No one likes being tossed
aside for a younger woman.
Oh, Bebe, you know very well
I only changed agents
because you were ignoring
me in favor of another client.
I wasn't ignoring you,
I was merely getting some
much-needed critical distance
for a final glorious
Frasierian push!
But let's not rehash the past.
Agreed.
We accomplished
too much together
to stop being friends now.
True.
Frasier...
have you ever wondered
what it would be like...
if I could apply
what I've learned...
to you?
Yes, I have.
But it cannot be.
Can it?
Dangerous thoughts.
You're a siren...
luring me to the rocks.
But I must resist,
or you'll hurt me again.
No, I'm no siren!
I'm a man! A man with ambitions!
Ambition!
The word is candy to me.
Damn you, devil man!
I must go!
I'm all confused and woozy!
I understand!
But what about me?!
Very well.
Be at my hotel
tonight for dinner.
Perhaps you'll show me
just how serious you are.
I think I've figured it out.
Bebe wants to have
sex with a human male
to bring about the apocalypse.
Perhaps.
But here's my theory:
Bebe's had a thing for
me for years. Mm-hmm.
This, coupled with the fact
that control is an
aphrodisiac for her,
it's not surprising to
find that she hopes
to parlay her advantage
into a sexual conquest.
But surely you
don't intend to let
the promise of
wealth and exposure
lure you into her bed?
It's not going to come to that.
It's all about the dance.
It's all about the possibility
of sex... the promise...
That's never delivered
that keeps them tantalized.
One only needs to know
how not to cross the line.
Excuse me, but didn't
you sleep with her once?
Yes. That's how I
know where the line is.
I almost feel sorry for her.
Just another helpless woman
suffering from an
unslakable thirst...
For Crane. For Crane.
Still, I can't help thinking
there's something Faustian
about this whole thing.
( chuckling): Faust was a moron.
I'm going to be a star.
Hi, Daph.
Hello.
A latte, please.
Hello, darling.
Hello.
Did you see who's here?
Yes.
I wonder if you'll still be
stirring my coffee like that
when we're in our
golden years. Yes.
And I know that a
touch from you then
will be just as
sweet as it is today.
So this is where
you've been going!
And with this tramp
from water aerobics!
Who are you?
I'm his wife.
You're married?
I can explain.
Don't bother, you worm!
You promised that
was it the last time.
( knocking on door)
Frasier, come in.
( distant choir singing)
How did you know it was me?
I felt a certain
tingle in the knob.
Indeed.
Well, I see Phil has landed you
in the lap of luxury.
Yes, it's a lovely suite.
Unfortunately, there's some sort
of choir championship
this weekend,
and they practice at all hours.
Is it Madrigal Madness already?
I had no idea it was
this close to Whitsun.
Please, darling, sit.
I'll pour the champagne.
Well, I... I suppose
a drop wouldn't hurt.
So... have you given any thought
to taking me on again?
Yes, I have.
And I have to say there's
almost nothing I'd enjoy more.
Wonderful.
But first...
let's talk about
what I'd enjoy more.
You want more than ten percent?
I want you.
And yes to the other thing.
Gosh, Bebe...
I'm-I'm terribly flattered.
It-it's just that, um...
Frasier. Hmm?
A few years ago I
let down my guard
and succumbed to your advances.
You seduced me.
It changed me, Frasier.
If I crave your touch again,
you've only yourself to blame.
I'm not going to say that
you're not a beautiful woman.
But is it wise for us to
jump into a relationship?
I'm only talking about
having a little fun.
After all, when I'm
having fun, I'm happy.
When I'm happy, I work harder.
When I work harder,
you become famous
and rich and powerful.
That's what you want,
isn't it... fame and power?
Well, I... I like to think of it
more as influence,
really, but...
I'll bet I can make you
bigger than Dr. Phil.
Is that running water I hear?
Yes. I'm steaming the
wrinkles out of a dress.
Does it put you in
mind of a tropic night...
a moonlit stroll,
the rhythmic lapping of waves
against the shore?
You know, if it's silk, the
steam could damage it.
Wait right here.
I'd better open a window.
Yes, darling.
Let the night in
while I slip into something
a little more comfortable.
Well, if you want comfortable,
how about that sweater ensemble
I saw you in this morning?
( choir singing ominous tune)
Bebe?
Join me, Frasier.
I'll make your dreams come true.
But... at what cost?
What I'm offering
you is priceless.
Come, Frasier.
( ominous tune intensifies)
FRASIER: I can't!
( yelling)
( shrieks)
( sighs heavily)
(dings)
( chuckles softly)
( whirring)
( whirring)
( imitates sizzling)
Roger. You are go for liftoff.
Godspeed, Martin Six.
( microwave dings)
Oh!
Aah!
What the hell's going on?
Oh, geez.
Just sort of a...
a... minor accident here.
But don't worry about it.
Everything's under control.
So, what time you want
me to pick up your sister?
Well, if it isn't the
First Couple of radio.
I knew I could find you here.
Bebe, shouldn't you be in
Los Angeles with Dr. Phil?
That's up to you, Frasier.
I don't understand.
Well, after our...
meeting last night,
I had to ask myself a
very difficult question:
Am I really that
happy with Dr. Phil
if I'm entertaining
thoughts of returning to you?
Are you saying
you'll have me back?
How could I refuse you?
Dr. Phil has been amusing,
but I need a project.
I need a Frasier Crane.
Well, that's...
that's wonderful.
Incidentally, Dr. Phil
paid me 15%.
Well, as will Dr. Frasier.
I've just got one
very difficult call
to make to my agent.
Already handled.
I also took the liberty
of calling Spokane.
The terms of your deal there
were worse than abysmal.
Great. Great. You
got me more money!
No, they wouldn't
budge, so you quit.
You're no longer on in
Spokane. Isn't that exciting?
Wait a minute.
That is a step backwards.
All the better to
get a running start.
In my opinion,
the future is
firmly in front of us.
Congratulations, Frasier.
Oh, thank you, Bebe.
Thank you so much.
I'll call you tomorrow.
I'll be waiting.
Gosh! Roz, isn't
that great news?
I feel like a weight
has been lifted from me.
Oh, it's marvelous!
She's charging you more
money, and we just lost Spokane.
Big picture: the future
is firmly in front of me.
Isn't the future
always in front of you?
Yes... but not firmly.
Well, my little lamb
has bleated his way back to me.
Frasier has rejoined the flock.
So my debt is cleared?
We don't have to keep
pretending you're my agent?
We're square, darling.
And maybe next time
you gamble with Bebe...
you'll pay your debts with cash.
See, the problem is,
my wife looks at
the bank statements,
and if she knew I was
losing money playing cards,
she would kill me.
So, your wife doesn't
know you play poker?
I don't tell her everything.
I see.
And how's that working for you?
Just deal the cards.
♪ Hey, baby, I hear
the blues a-calling ♪
♪ Tossed salads
and scrambled eggs ♪
♪ Mercy ♪
♪ And maybe I
seem a bit confused ♪
♪ Yeah, maybe, but
I got you pegged ♪
( laughs)
♪ But I don't know what to do ♪
♪ With those tossed
salads and scrambled eggs ♪
♪ They're calling again. ♪
Scrambled eggs all over my face.
What is a boy to do?
Good night,
Seattle! We love you!
It's 4:00 in the afternoon.
Oh, I've been working nights.
My body clock's off.
I'm eating bacon
and eggs at night,
and drinking beer
in the morning.
That's what you always do.
Yeah, but now I'm
tired all the time.
There must be some way
to end this fight
with your boss.
What's the problem?
Oh, he wants me to date
his sister, and I won't do it,
so he's put me on
graveyard until I cave.
He can't do that.
Why don't you file a complaint?
I'd just as soon keep it
just between the two of us.
I see. Is this woman
really so repulsive
that you're willing to
sacrifice all your nights
just to avoid a date with her?
Well, let me put it this way:
Years of chewing tobacco
have discolored her tooth.
( laughs)
Someone left a
book of one-liners
in the Lost and Found.
Hey, Fras, there's
your friend again.
MAN (on TV): have
seen his top-rated show.
Dr. Phil. Now meet
Dr. Phil McGraw in person.
I'll be talking
about life strategies
at the State Theater
Friday through Sunday.
Come join us. It might
just change your life.
Now, there's a doctor.
I never knew you were
friends with Dr. Phil.
Some years back,
we found ourselves
running into each other at
seminars and conferences.
He's an excellent therapist.
We had a bit of a
clash over ethics.
Oh, really? Mm-hmm.
What did you do,
sleep with a patient?
Not my ethics. His.
The man bilked me out
of $200 in a card game.
He did not bilk you.
It's called a one-eyed jack.
Oh, yes, yes, there is one eye.
But the other eye is
there by implication.
Therefore, the hand
should have been a do-over.
And you can ask
Niles about this, too.
Far as I'm concerned,
the man owes me $200.
This guy's so cheap,
he could squeeze a
nickel till the buffalo chokes.
( laughs)
Dad, exactly how old is
this book of one-liners?
How old?
You're asking me how old?
Well, I'll tell you how old.
1956.
Oh, Frasier, Daphne told me
all about Dr. Phil. Oh.
I can't believe you
know him. Well...
You think you could
get me in backstage?
Roz, I really hadn't
planned on seeing him.
Oh. Jealous, huh?
Oh, it's okay, I understand.
I am most certainly not jealous.
The man happens to owe me $200.
Right.
But you know who could help you
with your jealousy?
Dr. Phil.
He'd be, like...
"So your jealousy of me
has taken over your life.
How's that working for you?"
Yes.
And I'd be, like...
"Fine. My money, sir."
Oh, please?
Please do it for me? Please?
Well...
all right, all right.
Oh, thank you.
All right, I'll see you at work.
Yeah, okay.
Here you go. Oh.
I couldn't remember if
you wanted it black or not,
so I brought it both ways.
Well, that's very
thoughtful of you.
Thank you.
No, you might as well keep it.
You're paying for both.
Hello.
Oh, hi, Daph.
Niles. Hello.
( gasps): Oh, Niles. Mm-hmm?
Look who's here.
NILES: Oh, isn't that adorable?
See this couple?
We-we've seen them
in the park a few times.
They're so sweet together.
We like to think they're
us when we're older.
Look how Old Niles
still puts his jacket around
Old Daphne's shoulders.
Ooh! She's still a
saucy little kitten.
And I'll bet he still rolls over
in the middle of the night...
Yes, the picture is
gotten. Thank you.
Oh, look. I think I've
found Old Frasier.
Oh, yeah.
I see.
Well, I hope the two of you
will understand if, in future,
I choose to knit
scarves only for myself.
Come on, we were only joking.
Yes, I know. It's
all in good fun.
Oh, Niles, I just
remembered. I've got...
Shut up!
Excuse me?
Shut up!
We're trying to knit.
( audience applauding)
ROZ: Dr. Phil!
Dr. Phil, over here!
Roz, please!
At least attempt to be cool.
Phil! Phil!
Well, Frasier
Crane, is that you?
Most assuredly.
Oh, that's you all right.
So how are you?
I'm fine, I'm fine. How's Robin?
She's great. Can you believe it?
We're going on 27 years.
Oh, congratulations.
And how's Lilith?
Well, we've been
divorced now for ten years.
Congratulations.
Hi. I'm Roz Doyle.
Oh, I'm sorry. Yes.
I'm Frasier's producer.
I just think you're wonderful.
I think your show is great,
and you're a truly wise man.
Do you know Tom Hanks?
Uh... no, but thanks
for the compliment.
Y'all come on through.
Oh, thank you. Thanks.
Come on.
So, Frasier, how's your show?
Oh, huge, thank you.
We just added Spokane last year.
And a station in Saint Paul
has agreed to let
me send them a tape.
Can you believe,
after all that time
we spent in the seminars,
that we both turned
out to be broadcasters?
Boy, those were some
good times, weren't they?
Oh, indeed they were.
Although sometimes
the fun and games...
were lacking in fun.
Are you still whining
about that 200 bucks?
Well, it's the
principle of the thing...
I tell you what,
I tell you what.
Why don't we just
discuss it over dinner?
Love to. Can't.
I am so busy...
Personal appearances,
and book signings,
and interviews...
I've got this agent
that's got me going 25/8.
In fact, speak of the
devil, here she comes.
Phil, darling!
Oh! That was sensational!
Bebe?
Frasier!
And Roz, too.
You guys know each other?
She's my agent.
And she used to be mine.
Phil, there's a
swarm of reporters
in your dressing room
waiting to talk to you.
I probably should
be going, actually.
But, Roz, it was
really nice to meet you.
And Frasier,
tell you what, let's do e-mail.
Okay.
Isn't he marvelous?
He's a cowboy...
wrapped in a genius,
wrapped in a dream...
wrapped in another cowboy.
I cannot believe that I have
the same agent as Dr. Phil!
Actually, you don't.
Somebody as big as Dr. Phil
needs all of my attention,
but rest assured, you
are being handled ably
by an agent in whom I
have the utmost confidence.
Who is it?
I want to say Tim...
I think I need to
make a phone call.
Yeah.
So, Bebe... ( chuckles)
however did you land Dr. Phil?
We met about a year ago
at a charity donkey
basketball game.
Donkey basketball?
Texas, darling.
It's like the symphony to them.
Long story short,
I gave him some advice
and, finally, he
hired me full-time.
Well, congratulations.
You can't imagine
the connections I
have these days.
If only you and I had...
Well...
that's water under
the bridge, I guess.
It's fun catching up, but...
Phil's interviewing
stylists for the Emmys.
Bye, Frasier.
What a phony, huh?
She used to be my phony.
Dad, do you think I did the
right thing changing agents?
I mean the one I
have now is fine,
but after I've seen what
Bebe's done for Phil,
I can't help wondering
if maybe I've denied myself
access to a wider world.
Dad, are you all right?
Oh, I'm sorry.
I... I haven't talked to
anybody for a few days.
It feels kind of strange.
Even this is making
me a little uncomfortable.
Dad, you have got to stop
with the graveyard shifts
or you're going to
start seeing apparitions.
No, don't worry about
me. I'm pretty tough.
Listen, I'd love to stay
here talking to you,
but all this sunlight
is making me dizzy.
What, you don't like the sun?
Us night-shift guys call it...
"The Scare-Ball."
( doorbell rings)
Oh, Bebe.
Hello, darling.
I can across this old box
of Frasier strategy memos,
and I thought I'd
bring them by to you.
Gosh, I... I didn't realize
there was so much.
And you thought
I didn't work hard.
Now, now, there's no
reason to take that tone.
Things have certainly worked
out for you, wouldn't you say?
Too true.
But... I can't be blamed for
being a bit of a bitter Bebe.
No one likes being tossed
aside for a younger woman.
Oh, Bebe, you know very well
I only changed agents
because you were ignoring
me in favor of another client.
I wasn't ignoring you,
I was merely getting some
much-needed critical distance
for a final glorious
Frasierian push!
But let's not rehash the past.
Agreed.
We accomplished
too much together
to stop being friends now.
True.
Frasier...
have you ever wondered
what it would be like...
if I could apply
what I've learned...
to you?
Yes, I have.
But it cannot be.
Can it?
Dangerous thoughts.
You're a siren...
luring me to the rocks.
But I must resist,
or you'll hurt me again.
No, I'm no siren!
I'm a man! A man with ambitions!
Ambition!
The word is candy to me.
Damn you, devil man!
I must go!
I'm all confused and woozy!
I understand!
But what about me?!
Very well.
Be at my hotel
tonight for dinner.
Perhaps you'll show me
just how serious you are.
I think I've figured it out.
Bebe wants to have
sex with a human male
to bring about the apocalypse.
Perhaps.
But here's my theory:
Bebe's had a thing for
me for years. Mm-hmm.
This, coupled with the fact
that control is an
aphrodisiac for her,
it's not surprising to
find that she hopes
to parlay her advantage
into a sexual conquest.
But surely you
don't intend to let
the promise of
wealth and exposure
lure you into her bed?
It's not going to come to that.
It's all about the dance.
It's all about the possibility
of sex... the promise...
That's never delivered
that keeps them tantalized.
One only needs to know
how not to cross the line.
Excuse me, but didn't
you sleep with her once?
Yes. That's how I
know where the line is.
I almost feel sorry for her.
Just another helpless woman
suffering from an
unslakable thirst...
For Crane. For Crane.
Still, I can't help thinking
there's something Faustian
about this whole thing.
( chuckling): Faust was a moron.
I'm going to be a star.
Hi, Daph.
Hello.
A latte, please.
Hello, darling.
Hello.
Did you see who's here?
Yes.
I wonder if you'll still be
stirring my coffee like that
when we're in our
golden years. Yes.
And I know that a
touch from you then
will be just as
sweet as it is today.
So this is where
you've been going!
And with this tramp
from water aerobics!
Who are you?
I'm his wife.
You're married?
I can explain.
Don't bother, you worm!
You promised that
was it the last time.
( knocking on door)
Frasier, come in.
( distant choir singing)
How did you know it was me?
I felt a certain
tingle in the knob.
Indeed.
Well, I see Phil has landed you
in the lap of luxury.
Yes, it's a lovely suite.
Unfortunately, there's some sort
of choir championship
this weekend,
and they practice at all hours.
Is it Madrigal Madness already?
I had no idea it was
this close to Whitsun.
Please, darling, sit.
I'll pour the champagne.
Well, I... I suppose
a drop wouldn't hurt.
So... have you given any thought
to taking me on again?
Yes, I have.
And I have to say there's
almost nothing I'd enjoy more.
Wonderful.
But first...
let's talk about
what I'd enjoy more.
You want more than ten percent?
I want you.
And yes to the other thing.
Gosh, Bebe...
I'm-I'm terribly flattered.
It-it's just that, um...
Frasier. Hmm?
A few years ago I
let down my guard
and succumbed to your advances.
You seduced me.
It changed me, Frasier.
If I crave your touch again,
you've only yourself to blame.
I'm not going to say that
you're not a beautiful woman.
But is it wise for us to
jump into a relationship?
I'm only talking about
having a little fun.
After all, when I'm
having fun, I'm happy.
When I'm happy, I work harder.
When I work harder,
you become famous
and rich and powerful.
That's what you want,
isn't it... fame and power?
Well, I... I like to think of it
more as influence,
really, but...
I'll bet I can make you
bigger than Dr. Phil.
Is that running water I hear?
Yes. I'm steaming the
wrinkles out of a dress.
Does it put you in
mind of a tropic night...
a moonlit stroll,
the rhythmic lapping of waves
against the shore?
You know, if it's silk, the
steam could damage it.
Wait right here.
I'd better open a window.
Yes, darling.
Let the night in
while I slip into something
a little more comfortable.
Well, if you want comfortable,
how about that sweater ensemble
I saw you in this morning?
( choir singing ominous tune)
Bebe?
Join me, Frasier.
I'll make your dreams come true.
But... at what cost?
What I'm offering
you is priceless.
Come, Frasier.
( ominous tune intensifies)
FRASIER: I can't!
( yelling)
( shrieks)
( sighs heavily)
(dings)
( chuckles softly)
( whirring)
( whirring)
( imitates sizzling)
Roger. You are go for liftoff.
Godspeed, Martin Six.
( microwave dings)
Oh!
Aah!
What the hell's going on?
Oh, geez.
Just sort of a...
a... minor accident here.
But don't worry about it.
Everything's under control.
So, what time you want
me to pick up your sister?
Well, if it isn't the
First Couple of radio.
I knew I could find you here.
Bebe, shouldn't you be in
Los Angeles with Dr. Phil?
That's up to you, Frasier.
I don't understand.
Well, after our...
meeting last night,
I had to ask myself a
very difficult question:
Am I really that
happy with Dr. Phil
if I'm entertaining
thoughts of returning to you?
Are you saying
you'll have me back?
How could I refuse you?
Dr. Phil has been amusing,
but I need a project.
I need a Frasier Crane.
Well, that's...
that's wonderful.
Incidentally, Dr. Phil
paid me 15%.
Well, as will Dr. Frasier.
I've just got one
very difficult call
to make to my agent.
Already handled.
I also took the liberty
of calling Spokane.
The terms of your deal there
were worse than abysmal.
Great. Great. You
got me more money!
No, they wouldn't
budge, so you quit.
You're no longer on in
Spokane. Isn't that exciting?
Wait a minute.
That is a step backwards.
All the better to
get a running start.
In my opinion,
the future is
firmly in front of us.
Congratulations, Frasier.
Oh, thank you, Bebe.
Thank you so much.
I'll call you tomorrow.
I'll be waiting.
Gosh! Roz, isn't
that great news?
I feel like a weight
has been lifted from me.
Oh, it's marvelous!
She's charging you more
money, and we just lost Spokane.
Big picture: the future
is firmly in front of me.
Isn't the future
always in front of you?
Yes... but not firmly.
Well, my little lamb
has bleated his way back to me.
Frasier has rejoined the flock.
So my debt is cleared?
We don't have to keep
pretending you're my agent?
We're square, darling.
And maybe next time
you gamble with Bebe...
you'll pay your debts with cash.
See, the problem is,
my wife looks at
the bank statements,
and if she knew I was
losing money playing cards,
she would kill me.
So, your wife doesn't
know you play poker?
I don't tell her everything.
I see.
And how's that working for you?
Just deal the cards.
♪ Hey, baby, I hear
the blues a-calling ♪
♪ Tossed salads
and scrambled eggs ♪
♪ Mercy ♪
♪ And maybe I
seem a bit confused ♪
♪ Yeah, maybe, but
I got you pegged ♪
( laughs)
♪ But I don't know what to do ♪
♪ With those tossed
salads and scrambled eggs ♪
♪ They're calling again. ♪
Scrambled eggs all over my face.
What is a boy to do?
Good night,
Seattle! We love you!