Frasier (1993–2004): Season 10, Episode 17 - Kenny on the Couch - full transcript

Well, I think we've got
time for one last caller.

Go ahead, Mindy, I'm listening.

( softly): It's about
my mother, Dr. Crane.

Ever since I got
married she's been...

Yes, the cashmere
turtleneck is $39.

Excuse me, what?

Sorry, I work in catalog sales
and my boss just walked past.

So anyway, my mom...

Yes, it's on sale until
the end of the month.

Mindy, we are pressed for time.

Hold on, Frasier.



Cashmere for under 40 bucks?

I'll take one in black.

In medium.

Wait, is that medium-medium

or unrealistic-
anorexic-model-medium?

It sounds like you might
want to go for the large.

Oh, really?

And that's our show.

What size will Roz order?

Will she accessorize?

Tune in tomorrow for
the exciting conclusion.

Good day, Seattle.

Dynamite show,
Doc, one of your best.

Rosalinda, great work
on the control panel.



I'm going to start calling
you "Control Freak."

Well, you're probably wondering

"Who put a quarter
in him today?"

Just got a call from my lawyer.

My divorce: final.

I'm back to my tomcat days.

Lock up your daughters, Seattle.

Kenny Daly's on the loose!

You might want to lose
the wedding ring, tomcat.

Oh, yeah.

Time to remove my shackle.

Well, that's weird.

Ooh, that's really stuck.

That's funny.

That's how my wife
described our marriage.

"Stuck."

Well, you're not stuck
anymore, are you?!

Oh, damn it, damn it.

Kenny, Kenny, come on, come on.

Come and sit down.

All right, here.

Take a deep breath.

I'm sorry.

This thing's hit me
like a ton of bricks.

The only good news is I'll start
getting a check every month.

Kenny, um...

divorce can be one of life's
most difficult transitions.

Have you considered
seeing a professional

once or twice a week?

I thought about it

but prostitutes are expensive.

He means a psychiatrist, Kenny.

That is what you meant, right?

A shrink? Oh, geez Louise.

I don't think I'd be comfortable
talking to a psychiatrist.

Well, I'm a psychiatrist.

You're comfortable
talking to me, aren't you?

Are you offering
to be my shrink?

No.

I could probably handle that.

I was going to refer
you to someone.

Well, can't you
help him, Frasier?

Well, I don't know, Roz.

Giving psychotherapy
to my employer?

It's a bit of a
gray area, isn't it?

Oh, come on, it's not
like he's a real boss.

Yeah, Roz is right.

Come on, Doc, I
could use a little help.

Well, I suppose if you'd
like to stop by my place

and discuss your
feelings informally,

there'd be no harm in that.

Thanks, Doc.

And I'm paying
you for your time.

Oh, no, no, that's
hardly necessary.

No, no, no, no, no, I insist.
Now what do you get?

Kenny, don't worry about
it. I'll gladly do it for free.

What do you say we
get together Friday night?

Thanks, Doc.

I wish my ex-wife was
as agreeable as you.

And dead.

Okay, maybe tonight's better.

And the one time I was winning

my dad "accidentally"
knocked over the checkerboard.

Ah.

He made me pick
up all the pieces, too.

Fortunately, my mom was
there with an extra piece of cake.

( cries)

I see.

A controlling,
narcissistic father

and an overprotective mother.

It has all the earmarks

of a classic Oedipus complex.

Well, well...

old friend, we meet again.

Now let me tell you

your deep-rooted
feelings of castration...

( watch timer beeping)

I'm afraid our time is up.

Wait. What?!

This has been fascinating.

I believe we are
finally on the brink

of discovering a road

into some real insights.

I can't tell you

I believe I'm as
exhilarated as you are.

Yeah.

When are we going to
talk about my divorce?

You may not know it,
Kenny, but we already are.

Now, for our next session,
I want you to write a letter

telling your father
how you feel.

Don't send it, just write it.

Homework? You never said there
was going to be any homework.

It's all part of the process.

Good night, Kenny. But I...

Geez, I thought
that'd never end.

Dad, how long have
you been in there?

The whole damn time.

I went in for a beer

and Kenny came
in and started crying

and I was trapped.

How's talking about checkers

supposed to help
him through a divorce?

Dad, the inability to
maintain adult relationships

often has its roots in
parent-child trauma.

What's your generation
going to do when we're all gone

and there's no
one left to blame?

I really can't tell
you how exciting it is

to roll up my sleeves again
and delve into someone's psyche.

I don't even know
where to begin.

Although, you know, I do
think it's particularly salient

that the father never
showed any interest

in the things that were
most important to his son.

Sounds good, Fras. Bye.

Oh. Hey, Martin.

Oh, hi, Kenny.

I didn't know you were here.

How's it going?

Okay, I guess.

I have an emotionally
crippled father.

You don't say.

So where are you headed?

Uh, gonna grab a
beer at McGinty's.

Really?

Well, I'm sure dehydrated
after all that crying.

You don't say.

You mind if I tag
along with you?

( elevator bell
dings) Sure, why not?

Oh, thanks, Martin.

I really appreciate it.

( cries): I bet you
were a great dad.

Oh, geez.

If you want to learn yoga,

why do we need some
fancy private teacher?

There are classes we could
take together down at the Y.

Yes, and afterwards

there are anti-fungal lotions
we can use together, too.

Just give Ahmrit a chance.

If we don't achieve physical
and spiritual harmony,

the second lesson's free.

Oh, hello, you two.

Hey, Frasier. Hi.

Ooh, Freud, Bettelheim... Jung?

Someone's playing
with the big boys.

Yes, well, it's for my patient.

You're seeing patients again?

Well, just this one for
the last three weeks.

Very challenging case, too.

The man has father issues,
any number of neuroses

and a phobia or two.

Sounds to me like
you've hit the crackpot.

( chuckling)

I'm sorry.

I heard it at a convention.

So how did you
meet this new patient?

Well, I can't really
say, Daphne.

You know, doctor-patient
confidentiality...

Hey, shrink buddy!

Hi, Niles. Hi, Daphne.

Hello, Kenny, how
are you? Hello.

Well, if you'll excuse us,
we're off to buy sticky mats.

All right. There we go.

Kenny, have a seat, have a seat.

So, how are you feeling?

Like a new man.

Last night was
just what I needed.

I can't tell you how
gratifying it is to hear that.

Yeah, me and your dad
shut down McGinty's.

Really? You and Dad?

Yeah, actually, I'm
meeting him here for coffee.

Man, is he a hoot.

He made me completely
forget about my problems.

Well, good for you.

Of course...

the object is not to forget
about one's problems;

it's to understand them.

Of course, that can
take a lot of work.

About the work part...

your dad said something last
night that made a lot of sense.

He said I should get out more.

And I was thinking that's
going to be tough to do

if I'm seeing you twice a week,
plus doing all that homework.

I guess what I'm saying is...

I want to quit.

Kenny...

I understand it must be painful

to uncover what is
a very painful past.

But I must warn you that if
you run away from this now

you will only be
repeating a pattern

that will prolong
your unhappiness.

I'm okay with that.

In these past few sessions,
we have discovered territory

that usually takes
months to reach.

I don't mean to toot my own
horn, but I've been on fire.

Don't get me wrong,
Doc. You've been great.

It's just... it's not for me.

Hey, guys.

Hey-Hey, it's
Party Hearty Marty!

Hey-Hey, it's, uh...

Sir Shots-A-Lot.

Right. Hey!

Dad, can I have a word
with you for a second?

Yeah, sure.

Oh, I'll get us some coffee.

Nice guy.

Doesn't hold his liquor
like you think he would.

Did you tell him that
he should go out more?

Yeah. What's wrong with that?

Well...

he is using it as an
excuse to quit therapy.

After one night out
with you in a bar,

the man is ready to throw away
three weeks of intense analysis.

Fras, the guy's finally
having a little fun.

Don't you want him to be happy?

I am not trying to
make him happy.

I am trying to cure
his depression.

Hey, Marty, does this
remind you of anything?

Ow! Hot! Hot!

Get the man some
water, would you?

And breathe...

Daphne, that is an
amazing Downward Dog.

Thank you.

What about me, yogi?

How does my Downward Dog look?

Oh, dear.

Can we straighten these legs?

Oh, I wish.

Congenitally
shortened hamstrings

are the curse of the Cranes.

Well, let's try a
different pose then.

Slowly place your left
leg between your hands

pivot your right heel
down, straighten your legs

put your left arm on your ankle.

Raise your right arm
and... triangle pose.

Trikonasana.

Niles, just use a block.

I don't need a block. You do.

No, I really don't. I
don't like the block.

I don't want to
touch... Use a block.

And breathe...

And slowly bring
your back leg up

into Half-Moon pose.

Now feel your breath
leaving your body

like a note being
blown from a flute.

Yes, I feel it.

Great.

I'm a flute, too, yogi.

Yes, of course you are.

Let's straighten
that leg, Niles.

Straighten it,
straighten it out.

Straighten it out; there we are.

That feels good; yeah, okay.

Let's try again, Niles.

Let's try and
straighten that leg.

You can do it. Straighten
that leg. Marvel...

That's much better.
Okay, okay, all right.

All right, let's bend
the finger, Niles.

Let's bend the finger.

Isn't this wonderful, Niles?

I love it.

And breathe...

And be completely
in this moment.

Shut off the outside
world entirely.

( cell phone rings)

Oh, hi, Mom.

I'm kind of in the middle
of something right now.

Yes, I'm coming. I told
you, I'm bringing the lentils.

What do you mean
again? You love lentils.

Niles, straighten the
leg, straighten the leg.

Okay, child's pose, that's good.

So what if Jerry brings a
different dish to every meal.

It doesn't make him a god.

Has Jerry achieved inner peace?

I'm just asking, Mom, has
Jerry achieved inner peace?

I have to take this call.
Would you please excuse me?

( sighs): That was fantastic.

I feel so energized.

Well, you are really good.

I hope I'm not holding you back.

Oh, no, you're
doing wonderfully.

He's paying you
so much attention.

I think he sees real potential.

You don't have to soothe my ego.

Yoga isn't about competition

it's about achieving
enlightenment

and integrating your
inner and outer lives.

Hello.

Well, this is awkward.

I believe you know Martin.

Yes, we've already met.

Kenny, there's no
reason to feel awkward.

Believe me, I have other
things to do with my evening

than to share my expertise
with someone who could use it.

Now, if you'll excuse me.

So, we still on for
McGinty's tonight?

Yeah, sure.

And Kenny, I've been thinking

about what you've
been going through

and I've come up
with the answer.

A suede jacket.

Did you hear that?

A suede jacket!

I must have missed that lecture
at Harvard Medical School.

You look good in it and
women love to feel it.

It's like you're a feast
for all the senses.

I used to have a suede
coat when I was single.

Hester made me put it away

but I'd pull it out
whenever we'd have a fight

and in a minute, she'd
be purring like a kitten.

You should break it out again.

Oh-ho! At my age?

It would kill me.

Hey, you got time to
do a little shopping?

Sure. I think I got my
good credit card with me.

Leather won't cure
your problems, Kenny.

It's a temporary high.

MARTIN: Hi, guys.

NILES: Hi. DAPHNE: Hello.

Oh, Niles, Daphne.

Hi, come join me.

Two low-fat lattes,
a hazelnut biscotti...

And one blueberry scone.

Your brother set
such a brisk pace

walking over here,

I could barely keep up with him.

Now, Daphne, you
don't need to do that.

Why not?

Shouldn't I be proud

of my husband's brisk pace?

Daphne's trying
to build up my ego

because she
out-performed me at yoga.

It's not a competition.

You see? He's already
mastered the teachings.

Spiritually, you're
way ahead of me.

Stop it.

Frasier, wasn't
that your Patient X

that was leaving with Dad?

Yes, now my ex-Patient X.

Actually, I'd like to
discuss it with you

if you've got a few minutes.

Coincidentally, I just read

a fascinating paper
on early termination.

Yeah, the hypothesis was...

I think I'll get
something to eat.

Oh, you have something here.

Something else.

Well, here, try mine.

Please, just let me go.

So, so, whose decision was it

to terminate your sessions?

Kenny.

I see. Well, uh...

early individuation
can stem from anything

from transfers to delayed
adolescent rebellion.

If only it were that
complicated, Niles.

What happened?

Well, it's Dad!

He's been taking Kenny
to McGinty's every night.

He's giving him therapy
in the form of beer and fun.

Poor Kenny.

I know.

I've got to do something.

I-I-I can't just stand by
while Dad undermines me.

Oh, just be careful not to
turn this into a competition.

As analysts, we
have to be above that.

ROZ: Hey, Niles.

I hear Daphne kicked
your ass at yoga.

Oh, yeah? Well,
Frasier just lost a patient.

Nice Bhujangasana, Daphne.

And yours is very
nice too, Niles.

You're doing so
much better this week.

Thank you. I just did
what you suggested

and imagined myself having
the reptilian sinuousness

of a lizard scuttling
across the desert floor.

I thought I said rain forest.

You did, but I
don't like the damp.

This next move
is a little trickier.

I'll demonstrate on Daphne.

First of all, bring up
your knees, like this...

Now bring your arms
back towards your ankles.

Ooh! I don't think
I can do this one.

It hurts.

Don't push.

You should be feeling
discomfort, not pain.

If you feel pain, ease yourself
gently back towards discomfort.

Is it something like this, Yogi?

( gasps)

AHMRIT: I'm impressed, Niles.

You know, perhaps one day

you might be able to
achieve Upward Bow...

Urdhbadhanurasana.

Oh, you mean this one?

Yes.

Oh, remind me to tell
Rosa to vacuum the sisal.

I'm speechless, Niles.

I've never seen such
a rapid improvement.

How do you do that?

Oh, I think I tweaked a
muscle on that last pose.

Oh, no. We should
put some ice on that.

Good idea.

I guess we know who's
better at yoga now.

Now, Daphne,
there's no "better."

It's all about achieving
oneness of body and spirit.

Okay.

Now I need you to
take me to the hospital.

What?

I broke my body.

I dislocated my shoulder and...

I think that one of my ribs
has achieved two-ness.

What's going on?

Ahmrit and I were just going
to go out and get a chai tea.

Can we get you one?

No, thanks.

You're amazing! You
have so much energy.

Ah, well...

You know what they say...

Quickly, quickly.

Imagine the pain
leaving your body

like a wisp of smoke.

If you could get the door,
I'm starting to hemorrhage.

FRASIER: Hello.

Hey!

What are you doing here, Fras?

Just thought maybe
the three of us

could have a little chat.

Doc, this is Trudy.

Ah. Delighted, I'm sure.

Hey.

I'd love to stay and chat, Doc,

but me and Trudy

have a dinner date
with the Colonel.

Well, if you think
you're ready for that.

Well, I'm not hungry now,

but I probably will
be when we get there.

See you guys later.

Nice to meet you.

Likewise, I'm sure.

Have a great time!

He's doomed.

What are you talking about?

He scored and
she's a cheap date.

Oh, Dad, please.

He is not ready
for a relationship.

How could you let him
do something like that?

Don't blame me for
that; it was the jacket.

He wasn't here ten minutes
before she wanted to touch it.

You know what?

All you're doing is allowing him

to wallow in his state of denial

and what if she
rejects him, hmm?

The man already has
abandonment issues.

Oh, would you cut out the
psychological mumbo-jumbo?

Let the guy have a good time.

What did you just say?

I said let the guy
have some fun.

No, before that.

You said "psychological
mumbo-jumbo."

So that's how you
characterize my life's work?

I'm just saying

that I don't think
therapy is for everybody.

Like Kenny... he just
needed to loosen up.

Oh, really?

So tell me,
Dr. Party-Hardy Marty...

Who, in your expert
opinion, does need therapy?

Well...

Hitler.

Hitler.

Yes, and that woman

with all the different
personalities, um...

Sybil.

Hitler.

And Sybil.

Anyone else?

No.

Great!

An entire science

devoted to Hitler and Sybil.

Do you believe that...

that Niles and I have
been wasting our lives?

Do you think Mom
wasted her life?

Now, you calm down, Frasier.

I'm just saying that you
overcomplicate things.

Yes, Kenny needed to
talk out some problems

but he didn't need to analyze
every moment of his childhood.

That's when it gets
into the mumbo-jumbo.

I'm just trying to get to
the root of his problems.

You know what? I think
you needed to give therapy

more than he needed to get it.

And you know what I think?

I think I'm finished
listening to you.

All right, fine,
maybe I did enjoy it.

Look, it's what I
was trained to do.

It's what I love to do

and I still think I was
doing Kenny some good.

Well, Frasier, you know,

Kenny's not the only
one with mental problems.

And what is that
supposed to mean?

Well, it means you can
start seeing other patients.

Oh, right, right.

Well, I've, I've
thought about that.

Why not, if you love it?

You know, perhaps I
could start seeing people

a couple of nights a week.

I could even convert
Daphne's old room into an office.

Well, if you do,
while they're waiting,

they're watching
what I want to watch.

Hey, guys.

Kenny! Kenny!

What happened?

Are you all right?

I don't think Trudy
and I are a fit.

When we got to the parking lot,

her boyfriend pushed me
down and took my jacket.

Aw...

MARTIN: I'm sorry.

I feel like such a loser.

No, you're not a loser

and if you need
to talk about this...

Frasier's pretty good
at this sort of thing.

Well, Kenny, I tell you what.

Whenever you're ready, okay?

For the time being,
why don't you

let a couple of buddies
get you a beer, okay?

Thanks.

You know, it's
too bad that Trudy

was just setting me
up to get mugged

because up to that point,
we were really cooking.

Well, here's to dating!

♪ Hey, baby, I hear
the blues a-calling ♪

♪ Tossed salads
and scrambled eggs ♪

Mercy.

♪ And maybe I
seem a bit confused ♪

♪ Well, maybe, but
I got you pegged ♪

( laughs)

♪ But I don't know what to do ♪

♪ With those tossed
salads and scrambled eggs ♪

♪ They're calling again. ♪

Frasier has left the building.