Frasier (1993–2004): Season 10, Episode 13 - Lilith Needs a Favor - full transcript
On a plane, Lilith Sternin (Bebe Neuwirth) is talking to a man just as pale-looking as she. His name is Albert (Brent Spiner). She explains to him that she is traveling to Seattle to ask an old friend for a favor. In Seattle, Lilith approaches Frasier with a very unusual request: she wants his sperm to conceive another child. She convinces him to let her do it, reminding him of Freddy's childhood. At the Sperm bank, Frasier and Lilith finally agree that all she wanted to do was recapture Frederick's childhood. He convinces her otherwise, and the two leave on good terms once again. As a short sub-plot, whilst Frasier has been enveloped with Lilith's request, Daphne takes her mother, Roz and Roz's young daughter to a Canadian theme park. She has left Niles with a collection of photographs, after telling him to make note of the final photograph. Niles and Frasier struggle to decipher it. A waiter at the cafe points out that it is of a nipple and Niles then believes it is Daphne's and carries it out with him wherever he goes. However, Daphne phones Niles on her return journey and reveals the nipple in the photograph actually belongs to Martin. As the episode is ending, Lilith is on a plane back to Boston. She meets Albert again, who reveals himself to be a divorced scientist. After a few minutes of conversation, it is implicit that the two have much in common, and may pursue a relationship.
( nervous breathing)
Sorry.
I'm a... nervous flyer.
Yes, I see.
Oh, you're white as a sheet.
Actually, I'm always this pale.
My ex-wife used
to say she could tell
when I was embarrassed
because I'd turn off-white.
I can empathize.
Sometimes after a late night,
I've covered my undereye
circles with Liquid Paper.
( chuckles)
So, are you traveling to Seattle
for business or pleasure?
Both, hopefully.
I'm relocating for work.
How about you?
I need to ask an
old friend for a favor.
Hmm. It's a long trip
just to ask for a favor.
It's a big favor.
Well, I hope your
friend complies.
It'll take some work,
but I'll get what I want.
Oh, dear.
You two look awfully pale.
Can I bring you something?
Not unless you have
any extra melanin lying around.
( laughs)
You should be a comedian.
I've thought about it.
( door opening)
Dad? Dad, Dad,
what, are you hiding?
I heard the key in the door.
I thought Lilith
might be with you.
What's she coming for, anyway?
Well, I don't really know.
She... she said she was
flying across the country
to ask me about something
that was important.
She's being very
mysterious about it.
Hmm. ( doorbell rings)
Is that her?
Well, no. No, Dad.
I'm not seeing
her until tomorrow.
Well, let me know when
she's coming, will you,
so I can come up with
an excuse to clear out
because I'm not
good at winging it.
Oh... Lilith.
( chuckles): Hi... uh...
Look who's here, Dad.
Hello, Martin.
Oh! Time to go
practice my signature.
Please, come on in, Lilith.
Uh, so, uh, I didn't think I
was going to be seeing you
until tomorrow.
Yes, I know that was the
plan, but I just had to stop by
on my way to the hotel.
What I'm here to
talk to you about
is not something one just
drops on another person.
Please.
( sighs): Frasier.
( clears throat)
Recently,
a subconscious yearning
has tunneled its
way to the surface,
and I now know what it is I need
in order to make
my life complete.
Well, that's wonderful news.
How can I help?
You can give me your sperm.
I beg your pardon?
I want to have another baby.
Well, you certainly
don't need me for that.
Surely, someone in
Boston must have sperm.
I came to you first
so that Frederick
could have a full sibling.
So, just like that,
we're going to have
another baby together?
No, no, no, not just like that.
I mapped out our dominant
and recessive traits
on a genome square,
applied Mendel's laws,
allowed for anomalies,
and concluded
that you are the
best biological choice.
I see.
Well, as enticed as I am
by your honeyed words...
I'm going to need some kissin'.
Frasier, don't misunderstand.
I'm not proposing any
change in our relationship.
Would we sleep together?
I thought we'd
freeze your sperm.
Is that a yes or a no?
Natural fertilization
isn't practical.
I'd have to fly to Seattle
every time I ovulate.
Right, okay, so
then your plan is
for me to visit
some local doctor,
uh, freeze my essence and
then bring it home with you.
Correct.
I'll take mine to go.
I don't know. I...
I'm going to have
to think about it.
Yes, of course, absolutely.
Think about it, and you can
give me your answer tomorrow.
Okay.
You can come back from
around the corner now, Martin.
MARTIN: Good night, Lilith.
Good night.
You were eavesdropping?
It was an accident,
and I only heard the part
about her wanting to
have another baby with you.
She completely threw me.
Well, I don't know
why you're so surprised.
She's seen what the
Crane genes can do,
and she's coming
back to the well.
How does one respond
to something like that?
Well, I bet if you say
no, she'll go to Niles.
Really, it's just so
self-centered of her.
You know, she's got this
all figured out for herself
without the slightest
consideration for my life.
And Niles will say no for sure.
Which means only one thing:
she'll come to the source.
Me.
The fountainhead.
What?
Can you imagine?
Lilith's and my kid
would be brothers
to you and Niles and Freddy.
What are you talking about?
And if you and Lilith
got back together,
you'd be his stepfather
and his brother,
and Niles would be your
son... and his own uncle.
It's almost worth doing just
so that I can tell the story.
Oh, hi, Niles.
Did Daphne and her
mum get off okay?
Uh, yes, they picked up
Roz and Alice an hour ago.
Although how they're going
to get all the way to Canada
without killing each
other, I don't know.
Why did they have to go so far?
Well, that was my idea.
I read that Canadian
Fun Country's
one of the best amusement parks
in southeastern
British Columbia.
Oh.
Well, I'm just saying
Daphne's mum should
be careful, you know.
If you're here on
a temporary visa,
sometimes people
have a difficult time
getting back into the country.
That hadn't occurred
to me, Frasier.
( clears throat)
Well, seeing as
how you're single,
I'd invite you to
join me for dinner,
but I'm-I'm meeting
with Lilith tonight
on a matter of some delicacy.
Uh, Dad told me.
Now listen, don't feel obligated
because she's buying you dinner.
Truth be told, Niles, I
haven't ruled it out entirely.
It would be nice to
have another child,
and Lilith is a
wonderful mother.
It's just that, well...
is it right to create a
human being with a woman
to whom you couldn't
stand being married?
Well, I'm behind you,
whatever decision you make...
The right one or the crazy one.
Well, thank you.
( both chuckling)
Excuse me. May I have
an espresso, please?
And what have you got here?
Oh, some snapshots from
last summer at the beach.
Daphne finally got
them developed.
( laughing): Oh, look.
There's Dad eating that hot
dog he dropped in the sand.
Yes.
And you in your
linen beach ensemble.
Very nice, yes.
Well, that's strange.
Daphne said I'd
particularly like
the last picture on
the roll, but what is it?
Well, it's hard to tell.
It's too dark and blurry.
Looks like the eye of Jupiter.
Or a slice of pepperoni.
Is it a flying saucer?
Yes, Niles, it's
a flying saucer.
Mystery solved. Well done.
Thanks.
Hey, where'd you
get the nipple shot?
Good Lord!
You are to erase
that from your mind!
Well, is it Daphne?
Nice.
You're not erasing!
Erase!
I need to stop again.
We just stopped.
I told you not to
get that Big Gulp.
But it was only ten cents more.
Punchbuggy blue.
Ow! Dammit!
Language.
Why does she keep doing that?
It's a game.
It hurts.
All right, Mum.
There's a gas
station right there.
I really need to stop.
I can't get over.
You'll have to wait.
But according to this,
my bladder is holding
"thirsty" -two ounces of soda.
It's only 40 miles.
Punchbuggy red.
Oh, son of a...!
Language.
Alice, honey,
stop hitting Mrs. Moon.
She can't take the
punchbuggy game.
Oh, really?
Punchbuggy white.
Ow! That was a Jeep.
I like playing with Jeeps.
And Fords.
Punchbuggy Ford.
All right, that's enough!
You stop it, or no one's going
to Canadian Fun Country.
And this time I mean it.
( screams)
( others scream)
I'm sorry. I thought you were
on the wrong side of the road.
I will never get used
to the crazy way
you drive over here.
Mum, you have
to stop doing that.
Daphne, you seem stressed.
Do you want me
to drive for a while?
Maybe once we
get out of Seattle.
Frasier, I don't
want to rush you,
but the suspense
is too much to bear.
Have you decided?
I'm thinking about the linguini.
I see.
It's "no" then, isn't it?
I'm sorry, Lilith.
This was a very
difficult decision for me,
and I am touched and
flattered that you came to me,
but I'm not sure I'd be
doing it for the right reasons.
You understand, don't you?
Yes, I do.
And I appreciate your taking
the time to think about it.
Well...
It's that kind of consideration
I was hoping to pass
on to our second-born.
Oh, well.
So, the pasta's good here?
Oh, the best.
( tune of "Ode To Joy"): ♪
My dad is the gweatest dad ♪
♪ Because he cooks
me cweam of wheat... ♪
Lilith, what are you singing?
Was I singing?
You were singing "My
Dad is the Gweatest Dad."
Oh, you mean that song
Frederick wrote for you
when he was four?
That video is one of
my prize possessions.
Of course I haven't
looked at it in some time.
I remember the night
we surprised you with it.
He crawled up in
your lap and said,
"Why is Daddy cwying?"
I see what you're
doing, you know.
What?
You are attempting
to manipulate me
by invoking powerful,
emotional memories.
I assure you, nothing could
be further from the truth.
Are you ready to order?
Yes.
I'd like the bisketti
with beatmalls.
Mmm, very good, miss.
That's what our son used
to say when he was three.
Excellent!
And I'll have the veal.
Bravo, sir.
Lilith,
I'm afraid you're
idealizing parenthood.
Do you remember colic? Teething?
Changing mountains of diapers?
Do you remember
that time in the bath
when he tried to
eat the bubbles?
We told him to stop,
but we kept laughing,
so he thought it was
funny and kept doing it.
You know, I'd
forgotten about that.
Oh, I wish we had that on video.
You can, Frasier.
We can have those
days back again.
Please.
I just need a
couple of teaspoons.
Lilith!
Just think about what
Frederick has meant
in our lives.
I think about it every day.
Frasier...
we're always seeking
ways we can leave a legacy.
Well, forget my
research and your work.
This is it.
What better gift can
we bestow on the world
but another person as
wonderful as Frederick?
Excuse me,
um... I've changed my mind.
I've decided that I, too,
will have the bisketti
and beatmalls.
Thank you.
Gosh, that coffee
smells so good.
Mmm.
Lilith won't let me
have any caffeine
until I've made
my little donation.
Ah, yes.
So, have you heard from Daphne?
No, we keep missing each other.
I'm just glad I have our
little pictorial memento
to keep me company.
I can't believe you're so taken
with that blurry
overexposed photo of a...
Shh.
Of what you first mistook
to be a flying saucer.
I just think it's sexy
that she even did it.
Yeah.
Imagine it... she saw
there was one
picture left on the roll.
In a spontaneous moment
of brazen exhibitionism,
she threw open her blouse
and just didn't even
bother to adjust the f-stop.
( chuckles)
Yes, indeed. Oh.
I am married to
one spicy meatball.
Good Lord.
Don't tell me you
carry it around with you.
Well...
I didn't want the
housekeeper to find it
and think we were pornographers.
WOMAN: Just fill out these forms
and I can show you to
one of our donation suites.
Thank you.
Will this be your first?
No, I've been doing
this since I was 12.
You mean baby.
Uh, no, no. This is our second.
We've got number
four on the way.
Oh, and we're thrilled for you,
but perhaps we can
chat some other time
when we're not
trying to create life.
Sign and date. Right.
This process can be
hard on a relationship,
but she'll relax and
things will get better.
We're already divorced.
Good, 'cause
she'll never change.
Up and at 'em.
Follow me, sir.
Just go ahead in and
make yourself comfortable.
You'll find everything
you need in the cabinet.
Thank you.
Uh, wait, Frasier.
It probably doesn't
matter, but...
try to think positive thoughts.
Thanks for that.
I was going to think
about the plight of
the American Indian.
I'm just saying we should put
the welfare of the sample first.
Mm-hmm.
Yes?
And don't fall
asleep afterwards.
I want to get these
puppies on ice ASAP.
Good-bye now.
Just a hint.
Lilith!
If there is one thing I
can do by myself, this is it.
Now, go away.
Right this way.
( phone ringing)
What?!
I just remembered
a special method
which supposedly
increases the likelihood
of having a boy. I see.
Is there something I can
do to increase the likelihood
that we won't have a
nettling control freak?
No, but perhaps
you can use a method
which will give us a baby that
can take other people's advice.
I would settle for a method
where it won't turn out
to be a sarcastic prig!
Oh, just do it.
Fine.
No, wait.
I don't want you to
do it when you're mad.
Why don't we just...
take a minute and
sit down and breathe?
It's your dime.
Oh, dear God.
What if this child
inherits all of our flaws
instead of our strengths?
We could create
a real nightmare.
That's not going to happen.
It's going to be exactly the way
it was the first time.
Is that what's going on here?
Are we trying to create a baby
or just trying to
recreate the past?
I mean, Frederick's
almost grown now.
It's only natural to
feel a sense of loss.
Frasier, don't be simplistic.
Well, Lilith, I-I know
what you're going through.
You want to feel
needed and loved
as you were when
you were a new mother.
The past can be very seductive.
I mean, I've
fallen into it, too.
I'm trying to relive
Freddy's childhood, but...
You can't use the past to fill
what's missing in the present.
It's gone.
Frasier, I've done
a lot of thinking
and this feels right to me.
But it's not right for me.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, too.
You all right?
I'll be fine.
If I can't make another
little Frederick with you,
there's always cloning.
And you still don't
know when I'm joking.
I... Well, I...
Lilith, what are you
going to do now?
Well, I'm going to go home
and give Frederick
a very big hug.
And maybe swab
the inside of his cheek.
Oh, stop that.
Oh, you already ate.
I was going to
take you to Bogart's.
Bogart's?
Oh, don't worry about that.
I was just eating it
because it was here.
I wasn't eating it to get full.
Just give me two minutes.
( phone ringing)
Hello.
Oh, Niles, darling.
Daphne!
I thought I'd never reach you.
We were booted from the
park and are coming home.
It seems someone put out a
cigarette on a stuffed moose.
I didn't know it was stuffed.
I was defending myself.
I love those pictures
you left for me.
More specifically, the last one.
Something a
little different, eh?
Indeed, it is.
I can't even
believe you took it.
I didn't take it.
Your father did.
No, I don't think so.
I'm talking about the
last picture on the roll.
The close-up.
Yeah.
Your father was trying
to get a picture of Eddy,
but instead he got a
picture of his own chest.
This is Dad's...
That's his nipple.
( shudders)
Can't wait to get to Bogart's.
I know just what
I'm going to get...
The barbecued chicken breast.
They have the
juiciest one in town.
Or the lamb.
They serve an enormous rack.
That's great.
You might want to get
an overcoat of Frasier's
out of there.
It's supposed to be
pretty nippy tonight.
Oh, hi, Dad. Where
you going? Hi.
Oh, Niles is here.
We're just going out for a bite.
Do you want to join us?
Sure.
So, uh...
how's Lilith?
I just dropped her
off at the airport.
She's disappointed,
but she knows
that we're doing
the right thing.
Well, for what it's worth,
I think you are, too, son.
Oh, thanks, Dad.
Just hope she finds
what's missing in her life.
Hey, Pasty.
Oh, hello.
May I?
Yes, certainly.
What happened?
I thought you were
relocating to Seattle.
Uh, it wasn't a fit.
I'm going back to Boston.
I don't know, call me neurotic.
I just can't work in a
lab that's not immaculate.
You work in a lab?
Mmm, I'm a physicist.
Really?
My name's Lilith.
Ah, the demon goddess.
Are you like the, uh...
independent fireball that
was your predecessor?
I make her look like a
vacillating cream puff.
Albert.
What happened with your friend?
Did you get your favor?
It's a long story.
Well, it's, uh...
it's a long flight.
♪ Hey, baby, I hear
the blues a-calling ♪
♪ Tossed salads
and scrambled eggs ♪
♪ Oh, my ♪
♪ And maybe I
seem a bit confused ♪
♪ Well, maybe, but
I got you pegged ♪
( laughs)
♪ But I don't know what to do ♪
♪ With those tossed
salads and scrambled eggs ♪
♪ They're calling again. ♪
Frasier has left the building.
Sorry.
I'm a... nervous flyer.
Yes, I see.
Oh, you're white as a sheet.
Actually, I'm always this pale.
My ex-wife used
to say she could tell
when I was embarrassed
because I'd turn off-white.
I can empathize.
Sometimes after a late night,
I've covered my undereye
circles with Liquid Paper.
( chuckles)
So, are you traveling to Seattle
for business or pleasure?
Both, hopefully.
I'm relocating for work.
How about you?
I need to ask an
old friend for a favor.
Hmm. It's a long trip
just to ask for a favor.
It's a big favor.
Well, I hope your
friend complies.
It'll take some work,
but I'll get what I want.
Oh, dear.
You two look awfully pale.
Can I bring you something?
Not unless you have
any extra melanin lying around.
( laughs)
You should be a comedian.
I've thought about it.
( door opening)
Dad? Dad, Dad,
what, are you hiding?
I heard the key in the door.
I thought Lilith
might be with you.
What's she coming for, anyway?
Well, I don't really know.
She... she said she was
flying across the country
to ask me about something
that was important.
She's being very
mysterious about it.
Hmm. ( doorbell rings)
Is that her?
Well, no. No, Dad.
I'm not seeing
her until tomorrow.
Well, let me know when
she's coming, will you,
so I can come up with
an excuse to clear out
because I'm not
good at winging it.
Oh... Lilith.
( chuckles): Hi... uh...
Look who's here, Dad.
Hello, Martin.
Oh! Time to go
practice my signature.
Please, come on in, Lilith.
Uh, so, uh, I didn't think I
was going to be seeing you
until tomorrow.
Yes, I know that was the
plan, but I just had to stop by
on my way to the hotel.
What I'm here to
talk to you about
is not something one just
drops on another person.
Please.
( sighs): Frasier.
( clears throat)
Recently,
a subconscious yearning
has tunneled its
way to the surface,
and I now know what it is I need
in order to make
my life complete.
Well, that's wonderful news.
How can I help?
You can give me your sperm.
I beg your pardon?
I want to have another baby.
Well, you certainly
don't need me for that.
Surely, someone in
Boston must have sperm.
I came to you first
so that Frederick
could have a full sibling.
So, just like that,
we're going to have
another baby together?
No, no, no, not just like that.
I mapped out our dominant
and recessive traits
on a genome square,
applied Mendel's laws,
allowed for anomalies,
and concluded
that you are the
best biological choice.
I see.
Well, as enticed as I am
by your honeyed words...
I'm going to need some kissin'.
Frasier, don't misunderstand.
I'm not proposing any
change in our relationship.
Would we sleep together?
I thought we'd
freeze your sperm.
Is that a yes or a no?
Natural fertilization
isn't practical.
I'd have to fly to Seattle
every time I ovulate.
Right, okay, so
then your plan is
for me to visit
some local doctor,
uh, freeze my essence and
then bring it home with you.
Correct.
I'll take mine to go.
I don't know. I...
I'm going to have
to think about it.
Yes, of course, absolutely.
Think about it, and you can
give me your answer tomorrow.
Okay.
You can come back from
around the corner now, Martin.
MARTIN: Good night, Lilith.
Good night.
You were eavesdropping?
It was an accident,
and I only heard the part
about her wanting to
have another baby with you.
She completely threw me.
Well, I don't know
why you're so surprised.
She's seen what the
Crane genes can do,
and she's coming
back to the well.
How does one respond
to something like that?
Well, I bet if you say
no, she'll go to Niles.
Really, it's just so
self-centered of her.
You know, she's got this
all figured out for herself
without the slightest
consideration for my life.
And Niles will say no for sure.
Which means only one thing:
she'll come to the source.
Me.
The fountainhead.
What?
Can you imagine?
Lilith's and my kid
would be brothers
to you and Niles and Freddy.
What are you talking about?
And if you and Lilith
got back together,
you'd be his stepfather
and his brother,
and Niles would be your
son... and his own uncle.
It's almost worth doing just
so that I can tell the story.
Oh, hi, Niles.
Did Daphne and her
mum get off okay?
Uh, yes, they picked up
Roz and Alice an hour ago.
Although how they're going
to get all the way to Canada
without killing each
other, I don't know.
Why did they have to go so far?
Well, that was my idea.
I read that Canadian
Fun Country's
one of the best amusement parks
in southeastern
British Columbia.
Oh.
Well, I'm just saying
Daphne's mum should
be careful, you know.
If you're here on
a temporary visa,
sometimes people
have a difficult time
getting back into the country.
That hadn't occurred
to me, Frasier.
( clears throat)
Well, seeing as
how you're single,
I'd invite you to
join me for dinner,
but I'm-I'm meeting
with Lilith tonight
on a matter of some delicacy.
Uh, Dad told me.
Now listen, don't feel obligated
because she's buying you dinner.
Truth be told, Niles, I
haven't ruled it out entirely.
It would be nice to
have another child,
and Lilith is a
wonderful mother.
It's just that, well...
is it right to create a
human being with a woman
to whom you couldn't
stand being married?
Well, I'm behind you,
whatever decision you make...
The right one or the crazy one.
Well, thank you.
( both chuckling)
Excuse me. May I have
an espresso, please?
And what have you got here?
Oh, some snapshots from
last summer at the beach.
Daphne finally got
them developed.
( laughing): Oh, look.
There's Dad eating that hot
dog he dropped in the sand.
Yes.
And you in your
linen beach ensemble.
Very nice, yes.
Well, that's strange.
Daphne said I'd
particularly like
the last picture on
the roll, but what is it?
Well, it's hard to tell.
It's too dark and blurry.
Looks like the eye of Jupiter.
Or a slice of pepperoni.
Is it a flying saucer?
Yes, Niles, it's
a flying saucer.
Mystery solved. Well done.
Thanks.
Hey, where'd you
get the nipple shot?
Good Lord!
You are to erase
that from your mind!
Well, is it Daphne?
Nice.
You're not erasing!
Erase!
I need to stop again.
We just stopped.
I told you not to
get that Big Gulp.
But it was only ten cents more.
Punchbuggy blue.
Ow! Dammit!
Language.
Why does she keep doing that?
It's a game.
It hurts.
All right, Mum.
There's a gas
station right there.
I really need to stop.
I can't get over.
You'll have to wait.
But according to this,
my bladder is holding
"thirsty" -two ounces of soda.
It's only 40 miles.
Punchbuggy red.
Oh, son of a...!
Language.
Alice, honey,
stop hitting Mrs. Moon.
She can't take the
punchbuggy game.
Oh, really?
Punchbuggy white.
Ow! That was a Jeep.
I like playing with Jeeps.
And Fords.
Punchbuggy Ford.
All right, that's enough!
You stop it, or no one's going
to Canadian Fun Country.
And this time I mean it.
( screams)
( others scream)
I'm sorry. I thought you were
on the wrong side of the road.
I will never get used
to the crazy way
you drive over here.
Mum, you have
to stop doing that.
Daphne, you seem stressed.
Do you want me
to drive for a while?
Maybe once we
get out of Seattle.
Frasier, I don't
want to rush you,
but the suspense
is too much to bear.
Have you decided?
I'm thinking about the linguini.
I see.
It's "no" then, isn't it?
I'm sorry, Lilith.
This was a very
difficult decision for me,
and I am touched and
flattered that you came to me,
but I'm not sure I'd be
doing it for the right reasons.
You understand, don't you?
Yes, I do.
And I appreciate your taking
the time to think about it.
Well...
It's that kind of consideration
I was hoping to pass
on to our second-born.
Oh, well.
So, the pasta's good here?
Oh, the best.
( tune of "Ode To Joy"): ♪
My dad is the gweatest dad ♪
♪ Because he cooks
me cweam of wheat... ♪
Lilith, what are you singing?
Was I singing?
You were singing "My
Dad is the Gweatest Dad."
Oh, you mean that song
Frederick wrote for you
when he was four?
That video is one of
my prize possessions.
Of course I haven't
looked at it in some time.
I remember the night
we surprised you with it.
He crawled up in
your lap and said,
"Why is Daddy cwying?"
I see what you're
doing, you know.
What?
You are attempting
to manipulate me
by invoking powerful,
emotional memories.
I assure you, nothing could
be further from the truth.
Are you ready to order?
Yes.
I'd like the bisketti
with beatmalls.
Mmm, very good, miss.
That's what our son used
to say when he was three.
Excellent!
And I'll have the veal.
Bravo, sir.
Lilith,
I'm afraid you're
idealizing parenthood.
Do you remember colic? Teething?
Changing mountains of diapers?
Do you remember
that time in the bath
when he tried to
eat the bubbles?
We told him to stop,
but we kept laughing,
so he thought it was
funny and kept doing it.
You know, I'd
forgotten about that.
Oh, I wish we had that on video.
You can, Frasier.
We can have those
days back again.
Please.
I just need a
couple of teaspoons.
Lilith!
Just think about what
Frederick has meant
in our lives.
I think about it every day.
Frasier...
we're always seeking
ways we can leave a legacy.
Well, forget my
research and your work.
This is it.
What better gift can
we bestow on the world
but another person as
wonderful as Frederick?
Excuse me,
um... I've changed my mind.
I've decided that I, too,
will have the bisketti
and beatmalls.
Thank you.
Gosh, that coffee
smells so good.
Mmm.
Lilith won't let me
have any caffeine
until I've made
my little donation.
Ah, yes.
So, have you heard from Daphne?
No, we keep missing each other.
I'm just glad I have our
little pictorial memento
to keep me company.
I can't believe you're so taken
with that blurry
overexposed photo of a...
Shh.
Of what you first mistook
to be a flying saucer.
I just think it's sexy
that she even did it.
Yeah.
Imagine it... she saw
there was one
picture left on the roll.
In a spontaneous moment
of brazen exhibitionism,
she threw open her blouse
and just didn't even
bother to adjust the f-stop.
( chuckles)
Yes, indeed. Oh.
I am married to
one spicy meatball.
Good Lord.
Don't tell me you
carry it around with you.
Well...
I didn't want the
housekeeper to find it
and think we were pornographers.
WOMAN: Just fill out these forms
and I can show you to
one of our donation suites.
Thank you.
Will this be your first?
No, I've been doing
this since I was 12.
You mean baby.
Uh, no, no. This is our second.
We've got number
four on the way.
Oh, and we're thrilled for you,
but perhaps we can
chat some other time
when we're not
trying to create life.
Sign and date. Right.
This process can be
hard on a relationship,
but she'll relax and
things will get better.
We're already divorced.
Good, 'cause
she'll never change.
Up and at 'em.
Follow me, sir.
Just go ahead in and
make yourself comfortable.
You'll find everything
you need in the cabinet.
Thank you.
Uh, wait, Frasier.
It probably doesn't
matter, but...
try to think positive thoughts.
Thanks for that.
I was going to think
about the plight of
the American Indian.
I'm just saying we should put
the welfare of the sample first.
Mm-hmm.
Yes?
And don't fall
asleep afterwards.
I want to get these
puppies on ice ASAP.
Good-bye now.
Just a hint.
Lilith!
If there is one thing I
can do by myself, this is it.
Now, go away.
Right this way.
( phone ringing)
What?!
I just remembered
a special method
which supposedly
increases the likelihood
of having a boy. I see.
Is there something I can
do to increase the likelihood
that we won't have a
nettling control freak?
No, but perhaps
you can use a method
which will give us a baby that
can take other people's advice.
I would settle for a method
where it won't turn out
to be a sarcastic prig!
Oh, just do it.
Fine.
No, wait.
I don't want you to
do it when you're mad.
Why don't we just...
take a minute and
sit down and breathe?
It's your dime.
Oh, dear God.
What if this child
inherits all of our flaws
instead of our strengths?
We could create
a real nightmare.
That's not going to happen.
It's going to be exactly the way
it was the first time.
Is that what's going on here?
Are we trying to create a baby
or just trying to
recreate the past?
I mean, Frederick's
almost grown now.
It's only natural to
feel a sense of loss.
Frasier, don't be simplistic.
Well, Lilith, I-I know
what you're going through.
You want to feel
needed and loved
as you were when
you were a new mother.
The past can be very seductive.
I mean, I've
fallen into it, too.
I'm trying to relive
Freddy's childhood, but...
You can't use the past to fill
what's missing in the present.
It's gone.
Frasier, I've done
a lot of thinking
and this feels right to me.
But it's not right for me.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, too.
You all right?
I'll be fine.
If I can't make another
little Frederick with you,
there's always cloning.
And you still don't
know when I'm joking.
I... Well, I...
Lilith, what are you
going to do now?
Well, I'm going to go home
and give Frederick
a very big hug.
And maybe swab
the inside of his cheek.
Oh, stop that.
Oh, you already ate.
I was going to
take you to Bogart's.
Bogart's?
Oh, don't worry about that.
I was just eating it
because it was here.
I wasn't eating it to get full.
Just give me two minutes.
( phone ringing)
Hello.
Oh, Niles, darling.
Daphne!
I thought I'd never reach you.
We were booted from the
park and are coming home.
It seems someone put out a
cigarette on a stuffed moose.
I didn't know it was stuffed.
I was defending myself.
I love those pictures
you left for me.
More specifically, the last one.
Something a
little different, eh?
Indeed, it is.
I can't even
believe you took it.
I didn't take it.
Your father did.
No, I don't think so.
I'm talking about the
last picture on the roll.
The close-up.
Yeah.
Your father was trying
to get a picture of Eddy,
but instead he got a
picture of his own chest.
This is Dad's...
That's his nipple.
( shudders)
Can't wait to get to Bogart's.
I know just what
I'm going to get...
The barbecued chicken breast.
They have the
juiciest one in town.
Or the lamb.
They serve an enormous rack.
That's great.
You might want to get
an overcoat of Frasier's
out of there.
It's supposed to be
pretty nippy tonight.
Oh, hi, Dad. Where
you going? Hi.
Oh, Niles is here.
We're just going out for a bite.
Do you want to join us?
Sure.
So, uh...
how's Lilith?
I just dropped her
off at the airport.
She's disappointed,
but she knows
that we're doing
the right thing.
Well, for what it's worth,
I think you are, too, son.
Oh, thanks, Dad.
Just hope she finds
what's missing in her life.
Hey, Pasty.
Oh, hello.
May I?
Yes, certainly.
What happened?
I thought you were
relocating to Seattle.
Uh, it wasn't a fit.
I'm going back to Boston.
I don't know, call me neurotic.
I just can't work in a
lab that's not immaculate.
You work in a lab?
Mmm, I'm a physicist.
Really?
My name's Lilith.
Ah, the demon goddess.
Are you like the, uh...
independent fireball that
was your predecessor?
I make her look like a
vacillating cream puff.
Albert.
What happened with your friend?
Did you get your favor?
It's a long story.
Well, it's, uh...
it's a long flight.
♪ Hey, baby, I hear
the blues a-calling ♪
♪ Tossed salads
and scrambled eggs ♪
♪ Oh, my ♪
♪ And maybe I
seem a bit confused ♪
♪ Well, maybe, but
I got you pegged ♪
( laughs)
♪ But I don't know what to do ♪
♪ With those tossed
salads and scrambled eggs ♪
♪ They're calling again. ♪
Frasier has left the building.