Five Bedrooms (2019–…): Season 3, Episode 5 - Four Memories - full transcript

Previously on 5 Bedrooms

Sorry, I thought you were going back to the UK

If Harry's going to be starting a family here, I mean I'm not going to miss that

Sorry, I might just...

I'm not the problem, am I?

You just hate me

I don't hate you Liz

What is it?

I've always had feelings for you

Did she tell you about the problems with Sam?

Did we push them too hard?



Because the truth is, I'll sign pretty much anything

I think they just need a bit of space

She give you any idea when she'll be able to look at me again?

Just dropping off dishes, stay where you are

Shit

It's good to see you

Don't do that

What if I move in?

I mean what if a full seven days exposure, week in, week out, is too much?

We have unanimous agreement and we'll proceed with Simo's suggestion

Any questions?

No

Since I can remember, I dreamed of being in a loving, committed relationship

Being able to call someone my person, feeling like they were home



and knowing it was reciprocated

Missed ya

It was everything I'd expected

Good day?

And a couple of things I didn't

Behind us, behind us, they're on us

Until he moved in, I'd never noticed Simo's obsession with online gaming

There's two of them underneath me, yeah, yeah, come on, come on

I've used my tactical

Boost!

That was close mate, that was close

Or that he liked to have a chat

Chuka, Sim, boy, it's all over for Birki and Lisa again, mate

He's, yeah, he's worried she's gonna get rid of the caravan

The same chat

The caravan's already off of like Gumtree, mate, feature that

Yeah, no, no, no, it's just the caravan, not the annex

Over and over again

It's all over for Birki and Lisa again, yeah, I know

Bloody Birki's messed things up with Lisa again

Renai's on hold

And she's selling the caravan

Yeah

It's not that I don't appreciate him being there for his friends

It just doesn't seem like the most effective way of communicating

Yeah, but it's the intimacy that he's striving for, eh?

Can you just chuck him under the tap for us?

It's a one-on-one

You know, once I tried to show him how to reply all to a group email

He teared up

Said it was too impersonal

Just one other thing

Have you ever worried that Sim might have gastrointestinal issues?

Reliability was always a trait in Simo I admired

I just hadn't realised it extended to every corner of his life

It was a consistent 4.50am every morning for a solid hour

He does always light a candle

And he's very dependable with his midpoint courtesy flush

Do you think it could be irritable bowel?

Or maybe he's allergic to fructose?

Hey, you just moved in together

There are always going to be a couple of wrinkles to iron out

How are you going with this system of pillows?

It had been 37 nights since Simo moved in

And 37 nights since I had a pillow to sleep on

Because Simo took them all

I'm sure your shoulder won't get sore, I can use a pillow

I could sleep like this forever

But I'd waited over half my life for this

I wasn't going to let a general lack of neck support get between me and happily ever after

Hey Ace

Yeah

Perky

I think he's a bit banged up

Might have to head out to Crang for a bit

Get on the tools, give me a hand with the extension

But if an opportunity for spinal comfort did happen to present

I'll miss you but I totally understand

I think you should go

You sure?

Of course

Oh

Have you heard?

Good morning

Gerry's back in Melbourne

No, I didn't know

Turns out she's got a pretty good excuse for the radio silence

She and Sam have broken up

Still trying to work out which way is up so starting a family is off the table for the foreseeable future

I realise this comes as a bit of a shock

You know, I mean not that it matters but who do you think broke up with who?

God that's awful

For everyone

Are you feeling okay?

I actually feel so relieved

I wasn't the reason Gerry was pulling away

I didn't know you were feeling or still feeling that

No, of course, of course it was

Well it doesn't matter

We've got our explanation and she wants to catch up this weekend

This weekend?

I might need to check my diary and come back to you

Oh no sorry, I actually meant she wants to catch up with me

Do you mind?

Oh no, God, go for it

Great, thanks

Just holistically speaking do you think that's the best approach?

Going in alone?

So you do mind?

No, I'm just saying that knowing Gerry historically

That there's a good chance that she's going to be at her worst

And you might want to be prepared for that

Okay, well I'll keep that in mind

Thank you

That's the fifth batch of online purchases you've ordered

This week

You want to tell me what's up?

There was a sale

Well when you're done trying to fill the void

You know where to find me

Hello

Hi, it's me

Liz

Liz

I'm aware it's you, Liz

Look, I know it's been a while

I just thought you might need some space

Hello?

You've spoken to Harry

I have

Are you okay?

Well I'm in my late 30s and living with my mother so

Gerry I'm so sorry

About the breakup

It wasn't anything to do with me was it?

No, it wasn't

Do you want to meet up?

With me?

Liz, I reached out to Harry because

He deserves an explanation

Um, just as a matter of interest

How much of an explanation are we talking?

Well I haven't said anything about us

Have you?

No, no not a word

I think it might be best for everyone if we just forget anything ever happened

Yeah, yeah, no it's probably the best thing for

You and for Harry and me

And your husband?

Stuart

Of course, my husband

Day one of solo living

And I wondered if being alone would suddenly feel empty

But then I took off my pants

Lined up a few rom-coms

Cracked into the ice cream

Straight out of the tub

And it felt so good

Probably too good

Hi Dad, is everything okay?

That slow moving apprentice bloke

Not Benny, the other one

Buf or Biff

Timo?

Ah, the tip of my tongue

What about him?

He's here

He's loitering between the front fence and the big gun tree

That's impossible

You haven't told him I did well with my super have you, or the Bitcoin?

Dad, Simo's in Kerang

Dad, still there?

Travelling, he's travelling

Confirmed he is on approach

I'll call you back Moose

There was no reason why Simo would go to Tasmania

And voluntarily visit my father

Except maybe one

Mr Elling

Des

Mr Elling

I've come here to ask respectfully for your blessing to propose to your daughter

Ainsley

And?

I love Ainsley

So much

And I want to spend the rest of my life with her

If she'll have me

What does Ainsley think about all this?

I'm not sure, I haven't asked her yet

I think you should be asking her, not me

You're currently married?

No sir

You have any children in utero or otherwise?

No, no sir, no sir

You're hesitating

Sorry sir, that's just my nerves sir

You're financially independent?

Yes sir, I run my own business and I firmly believe in the power of compound interest

Who do you bear it for?

Well?

I prefer not to say sir

Why's that?

I'm afraid you might not like the answer sir

All that's ever mattered to me is that Ainsley's happy

And if that involves you, then...

Really?

You know, I was on the phone to Ainsley before you came bouncing in here like a tennis ball

I could have sworn you were going to ask for money

Well you didn't tell her I was here did you?

I'll walk her back

Yeah turned out it was an old mate after all

Okay, who was it?

Yeah good chat, I'm off

You need to use the facilities?

It's very considerate of you sir, but I didn't want to risk it, I went a few times before I came

The door locks automatically from the outside and I'll see you at the wedding

See you there, hopefully

Dad?

Dad?

Dad?

Dad?

Dad?

Dad?

Dad?

Hello?

Hez, it's Sim, I've got news

Look I know things have been seriously shit for you and Benny and I definitely don't want to add to any of that

But I was kind of hoping...

Yeah he's on the other line isn't he?

Yeah it'll be a very quick merge phone call, no cameras, three minutes tops

Do I have a choice?

Yes, yes of course, this is merely a respectful request for your permission

Two minutes

Thank you, one sec

We all here?

Still here

Yeah g'day Hez

Goc's ticking Simmer

Hez, Benny, you know I love the both of ya, which is why I wanted you to be the first to know

Ainsley's dad's given me the nod to propose

Ha ha ha mate, that's awesome news, that's the best thing I've heard in ages

Congratulations fella

If you could just keep it on the down low until further notice, well you can tell the others but not Ains obviously

She still thinks I'm in Kerrang

What's in Kerrang?

Oh with Berkey, genius

Sim, Sim you there?

Yeah I was just taking a breath mate, to be honest I was a bit worried that this proposal might have been a bit triggering for you both

I appreciate the concern Simmer, but as long as I don't have to learn a choreographed dance I'm here to help

Yeah we both are mate, we both are

It's so good to hear that because if you're both up for it my instinct for the proposal is to go big

Shit Ains is calling, what should I do?

Leave it

Hang up, hang up

Leave it

Hello

Hello Kevin Fitzsimer speaking

Sim it's me

Oh Ains, hi, how are ya?

I'm missing you

How's Kerrang? Is the Renault coming along?

Hello?

Yeah it's a bit of bad news actually Ains, it's asbestos actually, Berkey's place is riddled with it

Asbestos, isn't that dangerous?

It is, extremely, and it's everywhere here, it's in the roof, the tiles, the insulation, it's all through the bloody plumbing

But don't worry Ains, we're taking extra good care with this removal

You're doing the removal, don't you need some kind of licence for that?

Ah yeah look Ains, I did raise that with Berkey but um, the thing is he's looking at this bloody asbestos removal as kind of metaphoric or something

He reckons if you can't resolve the toxicity in his home he's not going to be able to resolve it in his relationship

But the good news is Ains, I'll be home soon and I can't bloody wait to see him

Ains, you all good?

Actually I'm feeling... Dad called earlier, he said he saw you

Oh, is your dad in Kerang is he? Yes

Ben?

Ains, hey how are ya? Sorry to butt in, I'm up here with Sim and Berkey and the asbestos

You're parked out the front here

Yeah I know, I caught a lift up with old buckets there, but anyway we're just tackling the final few bits of shooting now so I should probably...

Please tell me you've done some kind of removal training, or buckets

Okay, well everyone just be safe

Yep, no worries Ains, we'll do it as best as we can

Mate

Fuck

Sorry mate, I just fucked it and then I committed to it and I think it's going to be alright, I reckon I can clear out of the house without her seeing me

What was that?

It's fine, I actually think big pitch out

Hey, are you home?

Close it, close it, quiet

Hey

Oh shit, turn it off

What's going on?

Please don't tell Ben

What?

I knew he was away, helping a mate with the Renault and I was snooping, I'm not proud of it

Oh, he's, do you want me to go back in there with you?

No, thank you

What are you worried about?

I don't know, just been thinking about it a bit more lately

Do you think maybe you're feeling a bit of deferred onset anger towards Ben, because I know I am

Yeah, yeah, just you know, a bit of a...pang

Do you think you still have feelings for him?

No, no, no, that's not it

Well it would be completely understandable if you did, I mean he clearly still has feelings for you

Yeah well, none of that matters now

For what it's worth I'm sorry I ever suggested he had a secure attachment style

The weirdest thing happened, Dad called, he was convinced he saw Simo in Tasmania

Well we both know that's impossible, Simo's with Ben and those other fools in Kerrangan

Yeah, Kerrang

Completely embarrassing, but a tiny part of me actually thought Sim might have gone to Tassie to ask Dad permission to propose

I've been watching too many rom-coms

Huh, do you want to come watch Love Actually with me?

I'd rather drive my car off a cliff, but yeah, you enjoy yourself

You're in Kerrang

Okay, this is going to sound completely crazy, but I can't stop thinking about it and you know Gerry most intimately

Sorry?

Do you think she would be offended if...

I actually want to ask her if she'd consider having a baby as a single

You know I mean I liked Sam, but it was Gerry I had the connection with in the first place and I don't know I think it actually might be easier if we both went into it solo

Um, Harry as far as agendas go

I know it sounded awful out loud, but I don't know what do you think?

Well I just don't think that Gerry's in a place where she could consider anything right now

Oh yeah, no I know she's grieving, but I mean I couldn't wait

Well just from the very brief phone call I had with her I mean I could sense it in her voice I mean she sounded a bit...anklerless

When did you speak to her and why am I only hearing about this now?

Well I just wanted to call her to touch base and see how she was doing

Okay

Okay so what did she say? Was it Sam that broke it off?

She wasn't specific I wasn't going to probe

You've literally never declined an opportunity to probe

Is there something you're not telling me?

Okay Harry, Gerry's whole world has just fallen apart I didn't think it was appropriate to ask for a blow by blow

Okay

That's the organic materials and garden waste bin

This is cardboard

Carburet goes in the recycle bin

I thought that's where the plastic goes

It does, only if it's hard plastic, the soft plastic goes in the cardboard box under the laundry sink

Isn't it all recycling?

Why is everything always so fucking complicated?

I don't know, I just don't know

I don't know what you're talking about

I don't know what you're talking about

I don't know what you're talking about

You tell me

Hey

G'day

Oye

Yeah we just waited until Ains left for work

Nice one

So, a couple of years ago I managed to save a bit of coin and buy a block of land in Diamond Creek

It's where I'm hoping to build a dream home for Ains and I one day

Oh it's so romantic sitting here

Mate, good work mate

Oh thanks, but at the moment it's just an empty block with a ripper view

But I thought it might be the perfect setting for the proposal

Huh

So the plan is to get Ains here

So, Henn, I'm hoping you might be able to help with that bit

If you can bring her to the front gate and from there it's a four step process representing four key memories of our relationship

It's kind of like a treasure quest situation

It looks more like a stations of the cross situation

No, this is all sounding lovely, go on

So, Benny, Lizzie and Hazza, I was hoping on the day you could meet me at 1600 hours on the block just to go through some finishing touches

I can run you through the idiosyncrasies of each station

Sounds great

Not a problem

What's the dress code?

Nice

Yeah

And, Heath, I know you don't like driving on the toll roads

No I don't

That's why I'm going to organise an Uber to pick you up from the house and bring you out to Diamond Creek when we're good to go

What are we telling Ains?

I know, we'll say that it's a heavy intervention, that she's depressed

Or more depressed

Brilliant

Well that's lovely Lizzie

And that we need to take her out and put her in front of a lot of hot single men

But isn't it too soon for that?

I don't think you're in a position to be giving me time limits

Harry and I can talk to Ainsley when she gets home from work tonight

Do you need me to act morose just to sell it?

No

I think we're ok on that front

Ok, we done?

Yeah, nothing further from me except, thank you

You alright?

Yeah, yeah

Come on

Smart mate, you're on it

Night two of living solo and things suddenly started to feel quiet

There was space again to pause and remember another version of life

It's me and Liz, can we have a word?

One sec

Is everything ok?

Have you seen Heather lately?

You've noticed it too?

We think it might be time for an intervention

What did you have in mind?

A sexy safari featuring margaritas and men

We want to take her to a bar tomorrow

The thing is, she's blatantly refused to slow down since it all happened

I'm just not sure that adding to her distractions

I think she's still in love with Ben

Well let's take her out of the house and talk about that

Yeah, well you know, we could lift up her spirits

I might distract her with our chances

I really feel like the best thing we can do for her right now is just give her more space

Let's give her space and then let's fill the space with our voices

All we need you to do is get her there

So we'll scope out the venue, make sure it doesn't offend her in any way

And then we'll send over an Uber to collect you both

Ok fine, but please just make sure it's somewhere quiet

You have our word

Sorry, I didn't know you were in here

Just leave it to it

Actually, Heather, I just wanted to say

If you did want to get out there on the tear, of course

Go for it whenever you feel ready

Because I know blokes can be falling over themselves

It's not real, we're pretending

So it's not something that you want?

If I did, I wouldn't need your permission

Thanks so much for coming over

I still can't bring myself to leave a house

You don't have to explain

I'm just really glad to see you

I'm sorry if the negotiations contributed in any way to the breakup

No, I was just in denial for a long time

It was actually a relief things fell apart when they did

Before there was a small human caught up in the middle

Of course

Harry, I know it doesn't feel like it now

But other opportunities will come along for you

Thank you, but is it weird if I admit that's not actually the thing I've been most anxious about?

I really want you in my life

And I guess I'm just hoping that it wasn't just the baby that was connecting us

It wasn't just the baby, Harry

I mean he, she or they would have been empirically gorgeous

Gorgeous without question

And smart

Undeniably smart

Okay, I'm just going to put this out there

If you did want to revisit things down the track, I would be up for it

And that's it, thank you for listening and moving on

Harry, you should know that it was never about the breakup

I have feelings for Liz

Romantic feelings

Wait, what?

Liz

Our Liz

For how long?

Going on 15 years now

She's entirely convinced that you hate her

Liz knows

I admitted it to her and I absolutely begged her not to say anything

I wanted you to hear this from me

Ains, the Uber's almost here

You said three minutes

Yeah, well it's just good manners to be waiting before it pulls up

Have you never told the others I said this?

But if you're doing this out of obligation and you just want to stay home on the couch, comfortable

There's no risk of interacting with the general public

I would stand in full support

I've already taken out my hair

Heather, heading to Diamond Creek?

Yeah, it's us

Wait, what?

Liz said there's some new pop-up bar or I think it was a vineyard or something

Sumo owns a block in Diamond Creek

Sumo owns land

Where are the others?

Oh, Sumo said to just wait here and it'll come and get us

Is there something about grass parrots mating?

No context

How'd you go with Gerry?

I don't want to talk about it

You okay?

Gerry told me

Told you what?

Do not make me say it

I'm so sorry, I just...

I wanted to tell you but I promised Gerry and it just...

happened

What are you talking about?

It was just a kiss

Oh my god

You kissed her

It was nothing, it was like two, three seconds max

You've blown up an eight year relationship

But in terms of her not wanting to have a child with you

You don't even like women

You've never liked women and if you did I would have known about it

Lizzie, Heather

Let's just agree to pick this up at home

Okay

Oh, look at you two

Is it alright?

You look stunning

Let's have ETA T minus 39 minutes

Okay, thanks Lizzie

Righto, we don't have much time so first things first

Orientation

In these envelopes is a map to your stations

Some instructions

And a few words I've jotted down for you to say if you don't mind

I've cleared these repper paths for you to walk down

So if you follow the map you should be sweet

Any questions?

No, just good luck Simu

I mean, you alright?

Yeah, yeah, sorry, I just

Been so focused on the logistics, I haven't stopped to feel the emotions

It's alright, game on

Don't shit the bed

You're on the home stretch

Yeah, there you go

Perfect

Harry, I just need to

Get to your station and get dressed

Okay

Heath, what am I walking into?

Come on

Okay

Okay

What is this?

Simu is the best one to tell you that, Ains, and good news for both of you

He's giving me the lines

Dear Ains, the first memory I have of you is three years ago

When Benny showed me this picture of you

On Insta

I was so blown away I tried to swipe right

It took me a while to realise that I was just liking and unlocking your face

A few hours later I was at your house for me, remember that?

Just about to have my first shot with Benny

In the fridge

When you walked into the room and just like that

My whole world changed

That feeling you get when everything you want out of life

Becomes completely clear

Alright

Straight down the hatch

This is why we like it

Oh yeah

You okay?

Yeah, I just didn't expect anything like this to happen for a long time

But it's a good thing, yeah?

Yeah

Our first Diwali together

Oh Harry

And the first time we danced cheek to cheek

But the best part of that night was the day

When it was just you and me and a house to decorate

You called the shots

You had me running up ladders

Rearranging tea lights

Plugging things in

You showed me that when we're together

Working as a team

Whatever it is

We'll end up with something beautiful

Every time

We can take a break, there's no rush

He's wonderful, Hev

Just, I'm so lucky

Come on

Last year

This is the tent I lived in for three months in your backyard

And I've never felt more comfortable

And that's because of you

Ains, warmth just follows wherever you go

It's in your laugh, your smile

It's in the way your voicemail says, hello this is Ainsley

And even when you went through the worst thing I've ever seen anyone go through

You were still thinking of others

You even thought of me

And I don't know anyone in the world with a heart that massive

And there's just one more

Okay

It is an option to say

imo, I love you, you're beautiful, let's keep talking

You don't have to do anything you're not ready to do

How?

You know how

Hev, no one has ever made me feel more loved or cared for or secure

So you're in a healthy relationship

That doesn't mean that you have to get married

I don't want to hurt him

I know

But how do you feel right now?

I love him

But

My world got smashed apart with everything that happened

And I'm still piecing myself back together

Should we do something?

I guess we just give her space

Is it happening?

It's not

What?

Is Ains alright?

She's in the tent

Is it voluntary or?

You know um

Where are you going?

You stay with Ains, I'm gonna get to see him

You're alright

This has just been really overwhelming

In a good way or?

In a beautiful way

Yeah

Yeah

Ains

These are the crates you sat on when you turned up at site that day last year

When you said you wanted to give it a go

Honestly that was the single best day of my life up until that point

But since then things have just gotten better

Waking up with you every morning

It's just made me love you more

And I want to do that forever

I want us to build a home here

I want to have family here

So

Ainsley, Olivia, Margaret, Elling

Will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?

Yes, yeah

Of course

Yeah

He's done it, the big fella

Magnificent mate

Congratulations

Oh jeez, you saw that coming eh?

Down the missus

Tell you what, I'm taking a proper breath about now and then

Yes, champagne, yes

Get married

So you took the ferry

Yeah

And was Dad okay?

I think he was pretty confused at first

But in the end he was very polite when he asked me to leave

I couldn't wait to get back to Ains

Two nights away felt like an eternity

You um, you happy?

Oh I nearly forgot

I promised Mum I'd give you this when I got back from the block

Do you mind if we give her a quick call? She's dying to speak to you

I'd love to say hi

You think that's impressive? You should see a decoupage

Hello Kevin

Hi Ma, I've got Ainsley here

Hi Pam

Oh precious Ainsley

Be Indian igoni quim

I always wanted a daughter

Thank you Pam and thank you for your gift

And it is my silent wish that you consider this new bridal world a palace of your imagination

And I, look I am the walls of that palace

So from one working lady to another I've taken the liberty of starting one of those Google Docs

I've listed my top five florists

Now how do we feel about bells of Ireland with a sprinkling of idol vice?

I like a bit of baby's breath myself but they said that went out in the 80s

Who knew?

I did ask them about shamrocks but they looked at me as I was mad

Next time on 5 Bedrooms

Pam, hello

Oh there she is, our angel

We've just got a few family traditions that's all

Perhaps you two could start learning the brush dance

The what?

Oh it's just a bit of fun for the bucks and hems

I don't know that we even want any of that

You're doing an excellent job feigning enjoyment

It's getting harder

I felt something when we kissed

Do you want to meet up for a...

Yeah

All we need you to do is have a cheeky wine and just pose for some photos

Okay fine, chuck the lady over 50 out there on the apps and see what sticks