Five Bedrooms (2019–…): Season 3, Episode 4 - One Kiss - full transcript

Previously on 5 Bedrooms...

Oh, you haven't read Sam's email?

Uh, no, I haven't.

Harry, she absolutely loves you.

We know we want to move forward with you.

It's 47 pages long.

She thinks it's a contract.

You know, we'll just take it one clause at a time, you baby daddy.

You cheated on Heather.

So while I was with your daughter,

trying to heal her relationship with her mother,



you all fucking said mother.

Oh my god, you knew.

I swear to god, I'll never do that to you again.

I don't want you out of the house, but you and me,

there's no coming back from this.

In the wake of Ben and Heather's breakup,

I offered to mediate.

So, just wanting to clarify,

you definitely don't want him to move out of the premises.

Just call it a house, Liz.

You don't want Ben to move out of the house.

That'd just make me the arsehole who'd break up the house.

Well, technically speaking, yes.

He can't afford it.



I felt confident going in with 20 years experience

and a practically in the bag degree from Cambridge.

So, fine for him to stay in the house.

As long as I don't have to hear his voice.

I don't want to smell him either.

I'd clearly overestimated myself.

She give you any idea when she'd be able to look at me again?

Not as yet.

What if I just keep it in here?

In the laundry?

Yeah.

Pretty small room, Ben.

I mean, could you even lie down?

Yeah, sure.

Probably... probably couldn't stretch out much.

Or at all.

Hey, when are you going back to the UK?

My UK plans, well, all my life plans,

had been in limbo until 3am on a Saturday morning,

Australian Eastern Standard Time.

Yeah, it's not going to update automatically.

You're going to have to refresh the page.

I'm doing that constantly.

So, as soon as it refreshes, I refresh it again.

OK, OK, well, let's just try another angle and stop refreshing.

No, I can't stop doing it now. It's not voluntary.

You do know that the marks don't actually matter.

I mean, with these firms, all they see is Cambridge graduate

and that's enough.

You know, it's a club membership.

It's not actually an academic achievement.

Stuart, we both know that anything less than a near-perfect result

will be a crushing humiliation.

OK, well, should you have another glass of wine?

No.

Do you want me to talk you through the Maida Vale apartment?

I can't take anything in.

Really? Not even for three bathrooms

and industrial kitchen renovation?

In Maida Vale?

In Maida Vale?

I can't tell if you're impressed or the screen's just frozen.

It's first-class honours.

Oh, yeah, it is.

And fourth in the order of merit.

Ah!

Oh, my God!

You all right?

I'm sorry.

What's going on?

Why are you screaming?

Is everyone OK?

Liz just got her results back. She got first-class honours.

Oh, my God!

Well done.

Oh, Liz!

It's incredible.

You're gonna be happy with that.

It's an absolute game-changer.

You said the results were irrelevant.

Yeah. I lied because, you know, I love you.

OK, this demands a celebration. We are having a toast.

Should we wake Heather up?

I'm awake now.

Well done, Liz.

Top effort. Very proud.

Not getting out of bed, though.

To our incredible Liz, who continues to rise like a very classy,

fashion-forward phoenix.

To Liz.

Cheers.

Cheers.

To Liz.

OK. Now do Ben.

Oh, it's not really necessary.

Agreed.

OK, so, what's the next step?

To our brilliant Liz, who...

You could say the phoenix thing again.

No, I'll do a fresh one.

Ains, you don't have to. It's all right.

Guys, I actually have to jump on to another meeting, so...

Just a second.

To our brilliant Liz, who now has more qualifications

than the rest of us put together.

Not Harry and Heather.

Let's just get it done.

Cheers.

Cheers.

This is the best party I've ever had.

Cheers.

Cheers.

Cheers.

Is he getting a bit weird?

Oh, that horse is Bolton, mate.

I knew the word had spread when a flood of fine wine, flowers

and gourmet gift boxes started to land.

Hey, Elizabeth Wendell.

Cheers.

Oh, they're exquisite.

Are they?

Who are they from?

Demetria and Sophia from Whiteman and Young.

Ooh, apparently they've got a company chalet in Threbo.

No, no, don't put them there.

I'm losing track.

I've got no idea who this hot stone massage retreat came from.

It's Edwina.

Edwina, dropped you on your arse when you were destitute.

And subsequently redeemed herself.

That's debatable.

Shh.

Edwina, hello.

Liz, I just saw Stuart's post.

Oh, I asked him to take that down.

Why?

You should be shouting it from the rooftops.

Oh, thank you.

Did you get our gift basket?

Oh, sorry, there's been so many deliveries.

Oh, is it the one with the Italian marble cheese board?

No.

The green champer?

No.

No, it's just some gorgeous pampering goodies for the bath.

Oh, I'm sure they're here somewhere.

Thanks so much.

Very, very welcome.

Roger sent his warmest.

Does he?

He has been absolutely dazzled by your recent trajectory.

So much so, he'd love to throw a soiree at his Camberwell place

in your honour this Saturday night.

What a lovely thought.

Well, it was my idea.

Um, I'll just need to check my calendar.

Of course, take your time.

Just let me know ASAP so we can lock in some A grade canapes.

Absolutely.

Shall do.

Talk soon.

Roger Everly wants to throw a soiree in my honour in his home.

He never entertains at home unless he's about to drop half a million in cash

off of someone, partner or both.

How often has he dropped me half a million?

I've seen it three times.

He winds, he dines, he trots out some pretentious speech

and then he drops a huge wad of cash.

We're going.

We're going to gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous,

we're going to gorge ourselves on his exquisite food,

we're going to guzzle his vintage wine and then we're going to smile sweetly

while I tell him he can shove his job offer up his tight white arsehole.

And she's back.

Isn't that a little beneath you?

Not even slightly.

No, no, I know it might seem petty but this man, he rejected and he humiliated me.

I mean, he literally walked me from the corner office to the gutter.

I've earned this and I will not be denied.

I don't want you on the tux or the duel.

Aint, I'm so sorry.

I'm such an idiot.

You are?

And Ben's a bigger idiot?

I don't want to dodge your blame, ok?

This is on me too.

I don't know if this helps at all but my guts have been in knots the whole time.

I've had trouble sleeping.

I know.

And the thing is, I understand your loyalty to Ben.

I even respect it.

But you knew.

Ainsley, I will never ever let you down like this again.

If you want me to step back and give you some space.

I don't want that.

I'm so sorry.

I know.

I'll order some banana bread.

Amidst all the calls, all the celebratory gifts, all the gift hampers,

there was one person whose reaction I was particularly keen to receive.

It's Liz!

Ah, congratulations!

Oh my god, it is everywhere.

I've gotta be begging Stuart to stop.

Oh, he's proud of you.

I'm proud of you.

What an absolute triumph.

Oh, thank you.

So are you telling people your results or are you too classy for that?

No.

Were they intimidatingly high?

She got first class honours.

Oh wow, you must be drowning in offers.

No, not really.

It's a tsunami.

Should we get started then?

Sure.

Please just don't spook them.

Harry.

We're just, we're all on the same team.

Of course we are.

For all the contact we'd had over the years,

Gerry and I had never once been on opposite sides of a legal negotiation.

But in so many ways, we were always competing.

It had been that way from the beginning.

When I established a women's legal network,

she could not have been more publicly supportive.

So we've got some new faces.

We've got some new faces here today.

We'll just do a quick whip around and introduce ourselves.

As most of you know, I'm Liz.

And I'm interested in redressing the gender pay gap.

Gerry.

I'm Gerry and I'm passionate about intergenerational trauma.

The complexities of racial reparation,

human rights abuses, environmental ethics, domestic abuse.

I'd also like to declare that I am a very proud member of the LGBT community.

And just in time for Pride Week.

I don't think a timing was ever accidental.

Oh, thanks.

Hey, you walked into me. Sorry.

When I was declared bankrupt,

Gerry sent me a card with the word growth

and a weekend package to an obscenely overpriced vegan retreat.

Was it generosity of spirit or a reminder

that she was still earning a monumentally large salary?

I still went to the resort and it was genuinely rejuvenating.

And we're on page 26.

Now, you've requested to have the child exclusively at Christmas

every year.

We weren't sure if you celebrated Christmas with your family.

No, but we do have an extended holiday season at the Shear House.

Ainsley's legitimately obsessed.

We wouldn't call Harry devout,

but he does know the lyrics to every single Mariah Carey Christmas song

ever recorded.

On paper, she was one of my oldest friends.

But the undercurrent of our relationship was always one of adversaries.

If I could just get you started on the shallots, please.

Yes, Chef.

Wave thin on a slight angle, Chef.

Yes, Chef.

No, you're the chef.

Put someone in for Ben.

His daughter is moving towards our front door.

Rapidly.

Ben, here.

Yeah, heard it, mate.

Thanks, Ed.

Just stay put.

But keep studying.

Stay focused in there.

Actually, I'm bloody sorry for even speaking.

Um, how's your work?

Mate, what's going on?

I'm not here for you.

I want to talk to Heather.

Heather?

Uh, she's not here.

Oh, my God.

I just heard you talking to her.

No, OK.

She is here.

It's just really not the best time.

I'll only be five minutes.

Yeah, no, does, um, does Mum know you're here?

Yeah, she told me to get out of her sight.

Well, I reckon we both know.

She probably just meant, you know, leave the room.

Heather!

All right.

All right.

Hey, Minnie.

Hey, why don't you come hang out with Ains and I?

What did you just call me?

Minnie.

Minnie Mia.

Or Minnie Minor.

Yeah, we used to call you Minnie when you were a wee tacker.

Do you remember?

No.

We were just making lunch, if you want to.

I just want to talk to Heather.

You might not remember this either, but, um, we've got to be in common, you and me.

What?

Well, my mum was a single mum, too.

My mum's not single.

She just feels alone because she married an asshole who she just cheated on with my father.

Fair enough.

It does sound worse than my mum, but, um, what about Ains?

What about me?

Well, with your mum.

She's dead.

You know she's dead.

Yeah, but I guess that's what I'm saying.

You know, it's all relative.

You want a cuppa?

Yeah.

Come on.

Did Dad tell you not to answer my messages?

No, of course not.

He wouldn't do that.

It was seven in a row.

Yeah, I know.

I'm sorry.

I've just, uh, been a bit low.

When I get like that, I shut down because I don't want to infect the people I love with

how I feel.

I hate him for doing this to you.

No, you don't.

I hate her even more.

Mia, I can't defend your mum or your dad.

All I know is the older you get, the more choices you have to make, the more you get

wrong.

Over time, you learn to expect less from people.

Why do I have to lose you just because of their mistakes?

You're not going to lose me.

The truth is, it won't be the same.

And I wish that didn't hurt you.

And I know that it does.

But I'll always be in your life.

Just not as much?

Just not as much.

Is Dad sleeping in the laundry?

Yeah, looks like it.

Did you make him do that?

Not directly, but I'm happy to take the credit.

And then this clause bars Harry from introducing the child to any romantic partner without

your prior consent.

Now again, how do we define romantic partner?

Well, is it the word romantic or the word partner that's the area of confusion for

you, Liz?

Well, at different points in time, both, as you well know.

By the home stretch, I got them over the line on all the key points.

Harry knew it.

Okay, so just confirming that in principle, we all agree to clause 34A.

Sam knew it.

We do.

You lose 37C.

And so did Gerry.

Yes, but maintaining 37C.

Yes, but maintaining 37D, absolutely.

And that just about covers everything.

The only remaining question is, are we toasting with bubbles or cocktails?

So, I heard a rumour that Roger Everly is trying to throw a soiree in your honour tomorrow.

Please tell me that you're going.

Are you going?

Well, I have it on excellent authority that he's going to be making me a substantial offer.

So, I plan on drinking my body weight in vintage wine and relishing in publicly rejecting him

in his own home.

Okay, we have to be there.

And then for my encore, I might announce that I'm going to accept a better offer from his

arch nemesis of Whiteman Young.

Sorry, I thought you were going back to the UK.

Oh, I still am.

Okay, I did ask them not to open it so we could pop it ourselves, but apparently we

can't be trusted.

So, I thought that Stuart was committed to being over in the UK.

Oh, he can work remotely.

And if Harry's going to be starting a family here, I mean, I'm not going to miss that.

Oh, Liz is absolutely locked in for auntie duties.

I mean, for the presents alone.

Sorry, I might just...

I'm just going to be a moment too.

What was that?

Liz seemed pricked up by the idea of me being anywhere near their unborn child.

I don't know.

Don't tell me you didn't see that.

I saw my friend just absolutely blitz it.

I mean, that was like some sort of verbal ballet.

I am in awe.

Hi.

Um, out the front, could you just please bring Mia out?

Thanks.

If you're going to walk out whenever you feel like it, Mia, we're basically back to square one.

Hey.

Hey, there.

Mia, get in the car, please.

Go on.

So just for my information, was this part of a bigger plan for you?

Or just a one-off?

It was absolutely a one-off. Not even a one-off.

I swear to God.

I don't know if that makes it better or worse.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

You okay here?

You okay?

Is Heath clear of the spice?

Yeah, all clear, Mike.

Just transiting the laundry.

I'm sorry.

Here she is.

Morning.

Lizzie, you got a sec?

I think I just had a bit of an idea.

It was a light bulb moment. 3am.

A proposal that might help with our current house dilemma.

Oh, um, which one?

The, uh, Heath and Benny, who goes where situation.

That's right. And since you're the house mediator...

I am.

I thought that he could convey the idea to you so that you can process it.

Okay.

Isn't that the system? That you receive the idea and then check in with the rest of us one by one?

Yeah, um, sorry, what's the idea?

Ah, okay.

What if...

I move in? Officially?

Oh.

Oh.

I just don't quite follow how that helps Ben and Heather.

Okay, so you're making what, about $600 a week in the B&B?

It goes up and down, but it's about that.

Well, I'm already giving the old girl $550, so if I moved in here and upped it $50, you wouldn't have to rent out the B&B.

I'm sorry, your mother charges you $550 a week to stay in your childhood bedroom.

It's all in, bills and everything.

Yeah, and I do take pretty long showers, but, um...

The point is, if Ains and I took the flat, Benny could take Ains' room upstairs,

Heather could stay put, everybody wins.

That works for me.

No one needs to answer straight away.

Liz, would it be best if you just discussed this privately with everyone?

It does look that way, doesn't it?

Very happy to go first.

I'm sorry.

There you go.

Is everything alright?

Mm-hmm.

What do you think?

About his idea?

Mm-hmm.

Well, to be honest, I think he's offering to pay too much, but if he really wants to...

Is it worth it? What's happening with you?

No, no, no.

When he... when he told me about his idea, he was like...

And the best part is, we can be together all the time.

And...

I do really, really love him.

I know you do.

I've just... I've never lived with a man, a partner man,

a man I'm sleeping with before.

Or maybe not officially, but you pretty much live together now.

Well, only four nights a week. We still get breaks from each other.

I mean, what if a full seven days exposure, week in, week out, is... is too much?

Too much... for him or for you?

Both of us.

Have you talked to Simo about this?

He was just so happy. He cried.

And then I cried.

And then we had sex and he cried again during the sex and...

I just couldn't.

Well, I mean, the only other potential concern...

Yeah?

Would it be wise to have another couple in the household,

given the current then-inherited trauma?

Do you think that would be a problem?

No, not really, but I mean, I could pretend someone else does, buy some time.

You can do that?

I can do whatever you want.

My God, you're good.

OK, I just want to give you the speech one more time,

but this time it's slightly different and just a touch more restraint.

OK.

Thank you. Thank you kindly.

It's overwhelming.

You know, I don't ever think I've seen a more beautiful centrepiece,

because there'll be a centrepiece, you know, probably more than one.

Roger, you're justly famous for your incredible warmth.

So warm, it's amazing there haven't been lawsuits.

Just kidding.

Of course there was that one, settled for an undisclosed, yet substantial sum.

But as I stand here receiving this warmest of welcomes,

I can't quite forget that in my darkest hour,

you showed me the coldest of shoulders.

So I cannot in all good conscience accept your offer.

Nevertheless, I ask you all to raise your glasses to Roger's generosity,

conditional though it may be,

and try to forget his hubris, his misogyny, his ego, his mansplaining,

his unfortunate nasal hair, his thinly veiled racism.

Cheers.

OK, just be honest with me, have I cut it back too much?

Or is the ode to my bankrupt self stronger?

No, go the shorter one.

Yeah.

Woo-hoo!

Thank you.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Are we still filling the Mediciwski?

We are.

Justice Weickstaff's here.

Good or bad?

That's good.

It's High Court, top of the food chain.

Can you see, Gerry?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Elizabeth!

Ah!

Ah!

I was convinced you'd mastered filters and angles and lights and contours,

but no, here you are in the flesh,

looking every bit as alive as you looked in your posts.

My God, did you eat nothing at all in Old Dart?

Don't tell me.

Whatever you did, keep doing it.

Brava, my friend.

Brava.

Oh, and welcome home.

And who are we here?

You know Harry.

Harry.

Harry, lovely.

Do come in.

Roger has not stopped talking about you.

She's met me several times.

I know, it's not a chance to stay close.

Honestly, it's like you're his long-lost prodigal daughter

and he's got his heart set on a family reunion.

So the truth is, I looked him dead in the eye and I said,

you don't scare me, that could be anyone's arse.

Roger!

Look who I found.

Here she is.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

What a course.

Even more radiant.

More qualified.

And apparently getting younger.

Let me look at you.

We're doing both chicks now.

Tippi and I are just back from Mallorca.

This is my very dear and loyal friend, Harry.

Welcome, Harry, any friend of Liz has a seat at my table.

Thank you.

And can I say what a lovely table it is.

Iguana tells me that Stuart is still in the UK.

He is, yes.

I remember when Tippy and I, we were trying to straddle London and Melbourne and it seems

we were in a permanent fog for months.

The only silver lining was the lifetime upgrade to Platinum One.

Oh, and Geri Hayward is in town with her wife.

They're coming tonight.

Striking couple.

Yes, I know.

They're staying with us, actually.

What, in the commune?

Well, we actually run a B&B now.

Really?

I didn't know you had a guest wing.

Oh, it's more of a garage.

You remember Justice Wagstar?

Yes, yes, Justice Wagstar.

Harry, hi.

Hey, how are you?

Fine.

Where are you?

We're just about to take our seats for the main dinner and...

We're not coming.

Sorry, Sam had to head back to Sydney.

She had work commitments.

Well, if you still felt like coming solo, I could really use the solidarity.

An elderly woman just asked me for a top up.

I don't think I could stomach being around that many lawyers right now.

Is everything else all right?

Of course.

OK.

Um, I'll just...

I'll give you a call tomorrow, then, just so, you know, I can start a few balls rolling.

Let's make it next weekend.

Give us a chance to digest.

Digest what?

Everything in the contract.

Well, I thought we all digested that together yesterday.

Not entirely.

Something else happened?

Hey, look, it's got nothing to do with you.

Is it, Liz?

Harry, please go and enjoy the party.

We'll talk soon.

Come on, everyone's taking their seats.

Are they on their way?

They're not coming.

You were right.

Something's wrong.

Well, at least it's not me this time.

What?

You think it is?

What?

What are you saying?

I don't think I've ever had this experience before.

It's just so strange.

I'm just as confused as you are.

You do think it's about me?

She clearly didn't want to talk about...

I don't know what you're feeling about it.

Tippi and I would like to thank you for being here

and breaking bread with us in our humble home,

and especially the wonderful Miss Wendell.

Yeah, yeah.

When Elizabeth first came to us,

she was fresh off the assembly line,

a little slip of a thing.

In fact, she was the first lawyer

to trot off to Pilates during a lunch break.

I had no idea what Pilates was.

I thought it was some martial arts for ladies.

Well, since then, it has been a rollercoaster ride

of soaring highs and crushing lows

and many unexpected detours.

In other words, life in all its circular glory.

And tonight, we circle back as we move forward.

Elizabeth, it is my pleasure to invite you back

to the Everly and Associates family,

this time as partner.

Yay!

If, um...

If you told me three years ago that I would be in this...

..exquisite home, being honoured in such an emphatic

and heartfelt way, I wouldn't have believed it.

I would have looked you in the eye and I would have said,

you, sir, are an imbecile.

Yet here I stand.

What a night. What an honour.

You are justly famous for your incredible warmth.

Roger, I can't thank you enough.

Oh, Liz, welcome home!

Please. No, no, no.

Charge your glasses, folks, and let's propose a toast

to our newest partner, Elizabeth Wendell.

No, no, no, no, no toast. Glasses down.

Now, don't be modest. No, I'm not being modest.

Liz, own the moment. Stand in your power.

I am standing in my power. I am rejecting you.

Oh.

Mm.

You're what?

I'm saying no. I'm...

Liz, he's offering you partner. Yeah, I know that.

And...

What was the line?

Which one? The really good one.

The, um...

Stick your job up your tight white arsehole.

No, there was a better one.

Anyway, um, it doesn't matter now.

The answer is no.

Sorry.

No, I'm... No, I'm not sorry.

Thank you. Don't you think...

Do not trust that man. He calls you cattle behind your backs.

I honestly did not hear a word of that.

Hurry, hurry, hurry.

Why are you moving in slow motion?

I'm glad you think this is stop music, but it's not.

They can come out any second.

Wait, wait a minute. What about your jacket?

Just forget about the jacket.

Just move, move, move, move.

Oh, my God.

What's your problem?

Oh, my God.

Whew.

Hey.

Go, go, go, go, go.

Go, go.

Go. Go.

Oh, my God.

Go. Go.

Go.

Oh, my God.

Just dropping off dishes. Stay where you are.

Shit. Shit.

Sorry.

Get up.

If Simo's idea gets the tick,

you can take our old room.

What? Where are you going to go?

Upstairs.

If I'm in Ainsa's room, the only person I'll be sharing a bathroom with is Liz, so...

Yeah, but the downstairs room's so much bigger,

and I'm sure as hell don't deserve it.

No, you don't.

It's good to see you.

Don't do that.

Don't do that.

I'm sorry.

Sorry, I know it's late. It's too late.

I know Sam's not a fan of the late-night drop-in.

She hates drop-ins any time.

But she's not here. She had to fly back early.

Why didn't you come?

Is everything OK?

We had a fight.

Nothing serious?

I'd rather not go into it.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

It's...

This means the world to Harry.

And I...

I just need to be reassured.

I'm not the problem, am I?

I'm freezing. Come in.

Is this what...? We've known each other a long time.

Yes, we have.

So it's long enough for me to know when you...

When you're not in the room.

We have.

So it's long enough for me to know when you're holding back.

You and Sam were clearly horrified yesterday

by the idea of me being in your child's life.

No, we weren't.

I have never seen Sam look more uncomfortable.

We both know that's saying something.

I mean, for fuck's sake, I'm a big girl. I can take it.

I mean, does Sam just hate me?

Or is it a privilege thing?

What?

We both know that had nothing to do with Billy Joel.

I mean, I know that I'm privileged. Thank you.

I know I am.

But I don't think that I would corrupt your child.

I know that.

What is it? Do you just hate me?

I don't hate you, Liz.

Well, what is it?

The truth is...

I'm much closer to the opposite of hate.

What?

I've always had feelings for you.

I still do.

You...

So, but since when?

Oh.

Since the beginning.

Since when in the beginning?

Since the first time I saw you in that statement red pants suit.

Which one?

The one with the burgundy trim.

Burgundy trim, yeah.

I got that from an op shop in 2005.

From an op shop in 2005?

I was there.

So why didn't you say anything earlier?

Well, there was no point.

You were straight.

You were with Stuart and then you married him, so...

I buried it.

I met Sam and I tried to move on.

Sam knows?

She's always kind of known.

She said she felt it the first time she saw us together.

It was pretty obvious, Liz.

No, it wasn't.

You are famously incapable of reading signals.

I am not. You are.

Your nickname was literally Poker Face.

That was one very specific reference to the Poker Tournament.

No, that's a ball face lie.

In court, maybe.

You act like you're in court all the time.

You have completely misread that as well.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Sorry.

I barely lost consciousness at all that night.

And from the crack of dawn, I stumbled into a cavalcade of drama coming at me from all corners.

Liz, you up?

Simo's in there.

I thought about what we talked about and I think this is the next logical step and I should just take it.

I'm sensing panic. You think it's a bad idea?

No, no. Panic's on me. Nothing to do with you.

I have to take this.

What do we know?

Liz, we're just a bit confused here.

My takeaway was a dramatic no.

Roger felt it was a negotiation tactic about the corner office.

No, I'm sorry if it was confusing but it was never about the office.

It was about self-respect and karma.

Would it make any difference at all if I told you we had an R U OK policy in place these days?

Edwina, it's a no.

It's a righteous, unequivocal, resounding no.

Thank you for a lovely evening.

Hi.

Hi.

I'm not calling about last night.

It's just Harry's been texting me and I need to say something so...

Just for now I've said that Sam and I are going through some relationship issues.

That's it.

OK.

What was that?

What?

You squealed at me.

Oh, did I?

Who are you talking to? Is it Gerry?

Yes.

Say hi.

Oh, I just, um, I ran into Harry in the kitchen.

OK, so just know I didn't say what the issues were with Sam and I

and obviously I said nothing about us.

Oh, perfect. OK.

Good luck.

Bye.

Bye.

What's perfect?

Nothing.

Did she tell you about the problems with Sam?

Did we push them too hard?

Because the truth is I'll sign pretty much anything.

I think, I think they just need a bit of space.

What?

She didn't really go into any specifics.

Why is she calling you and only texting me all of a sudden?

Sorry, Lizzie.

Just thought I should let you know that I'm here.

Not actively listening, but I can hear.

I actually think I need a little bit of space right now.

Can I just ask if there's any word on my housing suggestion?

OK, is everyone here?

Because I can, I've got my eyes on everyone except Heather.

I can hear you. Do I have to move?

No.

Great.

Um, I hereby announce the results of our mediation.

Um, we have unanimous agreement and we'll proceed with Simo's suggestion.

Any questions?

Did you want the pinot that came from Roger and Tippi?

Yes.

I drank it last night. Sorry.

Any questions from anyone else?

No questions. Just a lot of joy.

Does this call for another house toast?

No.

Next time on Five Bedrooms.

Have you heard?

Gerry's back in Melbourne.

She and Sam have broken up.

I actually want to ask her if she'd consider having a baby as a single.

I just don't think that Gerry's in a place where she could consider anything right now.

Is there something you're not telling me?

Do you want to meet up?

What, with me?

Hey, Dad.

That slow-moving apprentice bloke.

Simo.

Is here.

That's impossible.

Simo's in Kerang.

A tiny part of me actually thought Sim might have gone to Tassie to ask Dad permission to propose.

I've been watching too many rom-coms.

I've come here to ask respectfully for your blessing to propose to your daughter.

What does Aines think about all this?