Father Knows Best (1954–1960): Season 3, Episode 27 - Safety First - full transcript

♪♪ [theme]

[children laugh]

[Announcer] With Elinor Donahue,

Billy Gray, and
Lauren Chapin in...

Hey, we're out of paint.

Oh, I think we have
enough to finish.

Just have the top
of this table to do.

How do you like it?

Gee, that's neat. I wish I
could write my name on it.

Ooh, don't!

Well, I got the
muffler on my car.



Bud Anderson.

Wet paint, I guess.

You guess?

Oh, I'm sorry, Mom. I didn't
know you were painting out here.

What did you think I was doing
with a brush and paint, knitting?

No, I don't know. I hadn't
been paying much attention.

Well, you don't pay attention to
anything since you got that silly car.

Now I have to redo the
whole top of the table.

Let's just leave it that way.

The outline of the tools on
there looks kind of artistic.

That car... The day you bought
it, you put your brain in neutral

and you haven't
shifted gears since.

- Oh, hi, Daddy.
- Hello, Kitten.

- Hello, Bud.
- Hiya, Dad.



- Hi, honey.
- Hello.

Guess who dumped a whole
handful of tools in my wet paint?

Why don't you leave it that way?

The outline of those tools
on there looks kind of artistic.

You can go down
to the hardware store

and get me another can of paint.

Yes, ma'am.

- Eh?
- You said you were gonna
make a speech today.

- Did you do it?
- Yep. I speeched
at the civic luncheon.

Did you talk while everybody
was having their lunch?

I was between the creamed
chicken and the orange sherbet.

- [laughs]
- Was there a big crowd?

- Oh, yes. The mayor was there...
- [engine starts]

All those big brass in...

- Bud! Bud!
- [tires screech]

Did you call me, Dad?

Yes, wait a minute.

What were you trying
to do back there?

Nothing. I was just testing
my muffler, digging out a little.

Well, what if one of the kids
had run across the driveway

- while you were "digging out"?
- I would've stopped.

Maybe you would
have. Do me a favor.

Start thinking a little more about
what might be in front of your car

and less about the racket
you're making out in back.

Do you read me?

Yeah, I read you loud and clear.

I hope so. Go ahead.

Digging out.

This is apparently the
fashionable way to start up a car...

Grind off the back tires.

You'd think he was
blasting off for the moon.

- Oh, not there!
- [doorbell rings]

oh, Angel, see who's at
the front door, will you?

How do you teach
a boy to be careful?

How do you get the
message across?

- [ring]
- When I talked to Bud just now,
he listened,

but it didn't register.

Honey, are you listening?

Oh, yes. I was just wondering
who was at the front door.

Hello, sweetheart.
Is your daddy home?

My daddy?

Just a minute.

Whoops. Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!

There's a cop at the door.
And he's so big as a house.

And he's looking for
you! Run, Daddy, run!

Run, Daddy, run!

Well, I've never tackled
anything quite like this before,

but I'll do my best.

I know you will, Jim.
That's why I asked you.

We'll give you all
the help you need.

- If you run into any problems,
just call me.
- Thank you, Chief.

- Bye, Jim.
- Good-bye.

Maybe Daddy did something
he didn't know he did,

and the cops found out about it,

and now they're gonna
put him in the clink.

Don't worry. They're not
gonna put him in the clink.

What happened, Daddy?
Did you have an alibi?

No, I'm in the clear, Kitten.

That was Charlie
Dutcher, the chief of police.

- What did he want?
- Well, he asked me
if I'd be chairman

of the Safe Driving Campaign
that kicks off next month.

- Is that good?
- Well, it's not bad.

Seems it all started with
the talk I gave this noon

at the civic luncheon,

the insurance man's view
of the highway problem.

Well, I'm real
proud of you, dear.

He put me in a spot. He
said it was such a fine family,

three well-behaved children.

We could serve as an
example to the community.

Mm, he was laying
it on just a little there.

- Hi.
- Hello, Princess.

Hey, you know what?
Daddy's gonna be a chairman.

A what?

He's gonna be chairman of the
Safe Driving Campaign next month.

Oh, congratulations, Father.

Thank you.

Oh, did you by any chance
see Bud on your way home?

Yes. You looking for him?

Well, I sent him out for a
can of paint a half hour ago.

- Where'd you see him?
- He was driving
down Fourth Street.

Oh, he had two horrible
characters with him.

Of course, they had to wave and
scream at me as they drove by.

I pretended I didn't know
them. Barbarians. Ew.

Daddy, what are barbarians?

Well, according to Betty,
the term "barbarians"

applies to savages, cannibals,

and, um, all of Bud's friends.

- Hey, let's go by
Shirley's house.
- Nah, she's sore at me.

- Let's go to the malt shop.
- No, we've already been there.

I want to talk to
you, young man.

Who, me? What did I do?

Pull over to the
curb. I'll be right back.

What's with her?

- Ah, that's Mrs. Bryan.
- [engine revs]

Always bawling somebody out.

They put the hat on her
and give her a badge,

so she thinks she's a cop.

- What's your name, son?
- Bud Anderson.

You're supposed to say "sir"
when you're talking to Mrs. Bryan.

- Don't you know that?
- Don't you see that hat
with that there badge?

Look alive, boy, you're
in the presence of the law.

Do you know you came very close to
hitting those children in the crosswalk?

No, I didn't. I saw
them. I stopped.

But you didn't get
out and bow down.

- You didn't salute.
- You were just barely able
to stop.

When you're driving
on a street like this

where children are crossing,
you have to watch every second.

I was watching.

You were lucky. You just
happened to look up in time

to see the crosswalk.

Why do you pick on
us kids all the time?

I don't pick on you.

I'm only trying to
make you understand

that when you get in
a car and start driving,

you better grow up.

You have the lives of
other people in your hands,

and unless you realize that,

you better go back to your bicycle
and skates until you're a little older.

Let's be more careful, shall we?

What a sour character she is.

Boy, you sure told her off.

She thinks she's so great.
Crossing guard. Big deal.

[engine starts]

Then I thought we might divide
the town up into four sections,

separated by Fourth
Street running this way,

and Main Street
running that way.

Now as soon as the
campaign gets under way,

I'm going to appoint one
person in each section...

Say, what's going on?

Oh, I was just
showing... Oh, that's right,

you weren't here when the
chief of police stopped in.

Chief of police?
What did he want?

We have a celebrity
in the family.

Your father's going to be chairman
of the Safe Driving Campaign.

- Oh.
- Well, that was an expression
of boundless enthusiasm.

Okay. It's okay.

What did you expect
me to do, fall on my face?

Well, we'd like to
see a happier face.

- Something wrong?
- No. Nothing.

The rest of us were pretty
excited when we heard

about Father being chosen
head of the safety drive.

- Don't you approve?
- Who said I didn't?

I'm for it. I'm for
safety and all that stuff.

But lay off the kids. Everybody's
always blaming the kids.

- What everybody's blaming
what kids?
- Oh, everybody.

Like who, for example?

Well, that Mrs. Bryan.

You know the woman who's a
crossing guard over on Fourth Street?

She's always
jumping on the guys.

- What guys?
- All the guys.

- What did she say to you?
- I wasn't doing anything.

- I just...
- [snickers]

Well, okay. I stopped
at this crosswalk,

and my wheels were, oh,
two inches over the line.

So she pulls me over to the
curb and gives me this big spiel.

You'd think I was a
criminal or something.

You'd think I'd just
blown up City Hall.

Well, now, she didn't
pull you over to the curb

just because you were
two inches over the line.

There must have been
some other reason.

Oh, she said I
was fooling around,

wasn't paying any attention
to where I was going.

Well, if I wasn't paying
attention, how come I stopped?

She just had to have something
to holler about, that's all.

Had to show off how
she's a big wheel,

got a badge and everything.

In other words, you feel
you were unjustly accused.

Well, sure I was.

You and Mom know
I'm not a birdbrain.

When I passed that driving test,

I memorized all
those rules of safety.

You think I've
forgotten all that stuff?

You know, I'm not a kid anymore.

Things just don't go in one
of my ears and out the other.

- I remember.
- Where's the paint?

- The what?
- The can of white paint.

That's what you went
after. Remember?

Be right back.

I swear, when I get married,

I'm gonna have nothing
but girls. No problems.

Girls? No problems? Hah!

I'm going in the den and
start laying out the campaign.

You can call me
when dinner's ready.

What's wrong?

Shh.

Bud, what happened?
You're practically green.

Shh.

I may have to pack all my stuff

and lam out of here
and never come back.

- What?
- Dad's down there
making big plans.

He's the head of the whole Safe
Driving Campaign for Springfield.

And do you know what happened
to me on the way to the paint store?

At the corner of Sixth
and Green Street?

Ten minutes ago?

I got a big, fat traffic ticket.

Now where's Bud?

He was up in his
room a minute ago.

Bu... Oh.

[humming]

What's this for?

Oh, that's the paint
for the patio furniture.

You planning to have
some on your potatoes?

Bud, are you walking in your
sleep? Take it off the table.

Oh, yeah.

Well, now that
we're all together,

I'd like to give you
some of the ideas

I've been kicking around
for the safety campaign.

See what you think.

I think they're
real good, Daddy.

He hasn't told us his ideas yet.
You're a little over-enthusiastic.

I'm over-thusi-who?

As I started to say,

one of the main ideas
I wanted to get across

is that, in driving, courtesy
and safety go hand in hand.

It's a matter of being polite,

showing the other fellow
the same consideration

you would if you were
on a crowded sidewalk.

- Right?
- Right.
- Right.

- Right.
- Right.

Safety is so much a
matter of cooperation,

people simply working
together for their own protection.

Gonna take teamwork

between the motorists
and the police,

between motorists themselves,

and teamwork and understanding

between the parents and
the children who drive cars.

Well, when you
come to think of it,

it's amazing that people
who are old enough

and presumably have
sense enough to drive a car

still have to be
reminded to be careful.

Well, of course, as usual, when
you talk about careless drivers,

you always say "present
company excepted."

Outside of Bud's little set-to

with Mrs. Bryan the
crossing guard this afternoon,

the drivers in this family
have done pretty well.

Isn't that right?

Bud, what's the matter with you?

Nothing. I'm okay.

I'm fine. I'm great.

You don't look so good.

You're no beauty yourself.

Now relax, Bud. If you're upset

about Mrs. Bryan bawling
you out this afternoon,

just remember she was
only trying to caution you.

There's nothing to worry about.

It isn't as if you've broken
a law or gotten a ticket.

- What's wrong?
- Where are you going?

Well, I'm not very hungry. I
thought I'd take a walk outside.

It's dinnertime. You can't
go out for a walk now.

Why? Is that
against the law, too?

Don't be...

Ah, maybe I'll go to bed.

You better leave your sarong.

There's something on his mind.

It must be an
earth-shaking problem

if it'll make him leave food.

Father,

I think you and Bud
better have a talk.

Oh?

I have a feeling he has
something to tell you.

Bud, you out there?

Yeah.

Oh.

What's the trouble, son?

Didn't Betty tell you?

No.

Well, you're gonna
find out sooner or later.

I got a ticket this afternoon.

A ticket? What for?

Parking, speeding,
reckless driving? What?

I was innocent, Dad.
I didn't do anything.

This cop was hiding, just
waiting for some kid to go by

so he could grab him. And
it just happened to be me.

Well, there must have
been some reason, Bud.

Oh, he said I took the right
of way from a pedestrian.

But he just made that up. Just like
that crossing guard, that Mrs. Bryan.

Had to have something
to pin on me, that's all.

You know, I bet that
cop's related to her.

- I'll bet it's her brother.
- Now, wait,

let's stop blaming the cops
and the crossing guards.

Did you drive
through a crosswalk

when there were people
crossing the street?

Oh, he said I did.
Naturally, he'd say that.

Were there people
in the crosswalk?

Well, yeah, but
they hadn't crossed.

- They were waiting
for me to go across.
- Bud, you should know

you don't drive
across a crosswalk

when a pedestrian has
started across the street.

It's a dangerous mistake.

Well, they hadn't really started
across. The cop said they had,

but he was just trying to
find something to pin on me.

You know, they got it in for
anybody who drives a car.

They're just laying for you.

Do you really believe that?

Look, do I have to have
some character on a motorcycle

tell me how to drive?

Or some old lady like Mrs. Bryan,
who probably never even drove a car?

I know what I'm doing.

I'm sorry about the ticket, Dad.

I know it's pretty rough,
you being the head man

in the safety stuff and all.

But it wasn't my fault.

I should know, shouldn't I?

All the time I've been driving,
I've got a perfect safety record.

How long have you
been driving, Bud?

Three months.

What do you think they'll
do to me on this ticket?

Will I have to go to court?

I'm afraid you will.

What do you think they'll do?

Well, the judge won't send you to
Alcatraz, if that's what you mean.

You see, you're
not really a criminal.

The court will probably decide

that you're suffering
from an acute case

of wisenheimer-itis.

Planning to put in a new door?

Oh. [laughs]

No. I was just thinking

about my conversation with Bud.

He's right and
the world is wrong.

Everyone's against him.

Oh, I guess it's
the same problem

every father and
mother come up against

when their son gets his first
car and his first traffic ticket.

What do you do?

You take his car away from
him for a couple of weeks?

Oh, I don't think
that's the answer.

All you get is resentment.

And he doesn't learn anything.

So you try to tell him.

Try to explain why laws remain,

and the dangers of carelessness.

You know what
he says to all this?

- That you're giving him
a new lecture.
- Right.

So he listens very politely

and then he forgets
every word you said.

You're just a
fretful old father.

Get nowhere.

You know, scientists
have made a machine

so that a man can get through

to another man
10,000 miles away.

If they'd only invent a machine

so a father could
get through to his son,

who's standing
right in front of him.

Dear, you can't expect a
child to always understand.

No, but it's so important
that Bud understand this time.

His life can depend on it,

and the lives of other people.

That's why I'm worried.

I don't know how to
make him understand.

Well, he'll probably
have to pay a fine.

He'll have to work
for the money,

and work he understands.

Whatever the penalty is,
it still won't be clear to him

that he was wrong.
And believe me,

nothing will be
accomplished until he realizes

that he was wrong, and why.

Maybe the judge
will have the answer.

Oh, a traffic judge
is a busy man.

No, honey, we can't duck it.

It's the parents'
responsibility,

and that's us.

Bud's case comes
up day after tomorrow.

Oh, we have 48
hours to figure it out.

[Man] The court
will be in order.

- [gavel pounds]
- Order. Order.

Order. Order.

The court will be in order.

- First case.
- Hanks.

Hanks, Lou.

Lou Hanks.

Charged 50 miles an
hour in a 25 mile zone.

Guilty or not guilty?

Guilty.

$25 or 5 days.

- Next case.
- Anderson.

Anderson, James Junior.

I talked to Judge Merrill.

We cooked up something. Watch.

Anderson, James Junior.

Charge, taking the right of way

from a pedestrian
in a crosswalk.

Guilty or not guilty?

Well, Your Honor, I...

Guilty or not guilty?

Guilty.

This court has something
special for you, young man.

It's a package deal,

designed for young
drivers who think

crossing guards and motor police

are just a lot of nonsense.

This court will suspend
your driver's license

for one week, and
further requires

that you shall perform
the duties of crossing guard

between the hours of 8:00
and 10:00 tomorrow morning,

at the school crossing of
Fourth and Maple Street.

You will substitute

for the regular crossing
guard, Mrs. Bryan.

But Judge... Your Honor...

Next case.

Couldn't you send
me to jail instead?

I'll go to jail gladly.

Next case!

Mom, this is inhumane.

This is cruelty.

Isn't it enough I can't
drive my car for a week?

Why did he have to add that
business about crossing guard?

I'd rather be boiled in oil.

I'd rather be
burned at the stake.

You heard what the judge said.

I'll get myself a lawyer.
I'll appeal the case.

- I'll take it
to the Supreme Court.
- Not a chance.

Hey, Bud, are you gonna
be the crossing guard?

No. Mom, all the guys
drive by that corner.

They'll laugh me
right out of town.

- I'll look like a boob
standing there.
- I gotta go tell Patty.

Don't you say a
thing! Don't blab!

How can you and Dad

just stand by and
let this happen

to your only son?

- Hi.
- Hello, dear.

I brought you something, Bud.

The official cap of the
Crossing Guard Service.

- There you are.
- No, no.

It won't hurt.

Your badge.

And your sign. Now
you're a crossing guard.

I think you make a
handsome crossing guard.

Well, aren't you a living doll?

No hard feelings because
I gave you the ticket, Bud?

No, that's okay.

- Hey, Bud, you in the Army?
- Let's see your hat.

Oh, crossing guard, will you help
me across the street? I'm afraid.

Well, Mrs. Bryan,
how you've changed.

Oh, you're adorable.
Just adorable. [laughter]

Okay, you're funny. Very funny.

Hi. This is my big brother.

Hi.

[squealing]

Hey, knock it off,
you guys. Come on.

Quit it. Quit fooling around.

Okay, let's go.

Hey, where you going?

Get that guy!

[engine revs]

[siren wails]

[tires screech]

Hey, watch it, you guys.

Oh, look at Mrs. Bryan.

Okay, you comics,
pull over to the curb.

You know, you guys
came awful close

to hitting those kids
in that crosswalk.

Are you kidding? I stopped.

Yeah, you were just lucky.

You were clowning
around. I saw you.

Let me tell you
something, wise guy.

I don't know how long
you've been driving,

but take it from me,
you've got plenty to learn.

[laughter]

Okay, it's real funny

when you're sitting
in back of the wheel.

You figure all this safe driving
stuff's a lot of mish-mosh.

Well, it isn't, and if
you don't believe me,

get out here and work this
crosswalk for five minutes.

It'll scare you silly.

Now start driving like
you were grown up,

and quit acting like
an infant. Okay, go.

- Hi, Bud.
- Hi.

I didn't know you were
with the police department.

Oh, well, sort of.

- Can I cross now?
- Be my guest.

The pain seems to have worn off.

I think Bud is growing up.

Yes, he certainly is.

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA