Father Knows Best (1954–1960): Season 3, Episode 28 - Bud, the Hero - full transcript
Bud stopped a bank robbery without realizing it, and is considered a hero. The publicity and constant attention gets to be too much for Bud.
[classical music]
♪ ♪
Narrator: ROBERT YOUNG...
AND JANE WYATT...
- [laughter]
WITH ELINOR DONAHUE, BILLY
GRAY, AND LAUREN CHAPIN...
IN FATHER KNOWS BEST.
- [grunts]
NOW I CAN'T PROMISE YOU KIDS
AUTOGRAPHS AT THESE PRICES,
BUT YOU DEFINITELY
WILL GET TO SEE
THE PUBLIC HERO, BUD ANDERSON.
NOW JUST STAY IN LINE AND...
HEY, THIS ISN'T A
PENNY, IT'S A SLUG.
- WELL, IT WORKS JUST AS
GOOD IN A GUM MACHINE.
- OH, NO, YOU CAN'T
SEE A HERO FOR A SLUG.
NOW YOU GO HOME
AND GET A PENNY, GO ON!
- DOES BUD ANDERSON
REALLY LIVE HERE?
- SURE, HE DOES.
HEY, GET AWAY!
[children clamoring]
- IT WAS NOTHING,
JUST A SCRATCH.
- WEREN'T YOU SCARED?
- SCARED? NO.
AT A TIME LIKE THAT,
A GUY IS TOO KEYED
UP TO BE SCARED.
- GEE, I WOULD HAVE
BEEN PETRIFIED.
- WHEN DID YOU FIRST
START SUSPICION IN THIS GUY?
[canned laughter]
- THE MINUTE I LAID EYES ON
HIM, I COULD TELL RIGHT AWAY,
SOMETHING ABOUT THE WAY
HIS EYES WERE SET IN HIS HEAD.
♪ ♪
[canned laughter]
[children cheering]
KIDS.
- WELL, IF YOU HAD
SUSPICIONED HIM,
WHY DIDN'T YOU MOVE
IN ON HIM RIGHT AWAY?
- NO, CLAUDE,
YOU GOT TO LET THESE
HOODS COMMIT THEIRSELVES,
THEN YOU MOVE IN.
SO I TOYED, LIKE A CAT
TOYS WITH A MOUSE.
I CASED HIM WITH GIMLET EYES.
[canned laughter]
- GIMLET EYES?
HONESTLY, THAT
SO-CALLED HERO OF OURS
IS GETTING SO NAUSEATING,
I COULD HARDLY STAND IT.
- WELL, LET HIM HAVE
HIS MOMENT OF GLORY,
MAYBE THE ONLY
ONE HE'LL EVER HAVE.
[doorbell dings]
- SAY, SOMEBODY GET THE DOOR,
AND IF THEY WANT
AUTOGRAPHS, TELL THEM LATER.
- AUTOGRAPHS?
[canned laughter]
- WELL REVEREND SWAIN,
WON'T YOU COME IN?
- THANK YOU, MRS. ANDERSON.
- WELL, YOU HAVEN'T PAID
US A VISIT IN THE LONG TIME,
REVEREND SWAYNE.
I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU'D GIVEN
US UP AS HOPELESS HEATHENS.
- OH, NO, NOT QUITE.
I WAS JUST READING IN THE
PAPER ABOUT THAT BOY OF YOURS
AND I DROPPED BY TO
CONGRATULATE HIM.
- OH, THAT'S VERY
THOUGHTFUL OF YOU.
I MUST SAY THIS HAS
BEEN QUITE A DAY...
- I DON'T LIKE TO INTERRUPT,
BUT, UH, I IMAGINED,
YOU'RE WONDERING WHAT
BROUGHT ON ALL THIS HERO WORSHIP,
PARTICULARLY FOR
A FELLOW LIKE BUD,
HARDLY THE, UH, HERO TYPE.
WELL, THIS IS IT.
IT'S RIGHT HERE IN THE
SPRINGFIELD PAPER,
"HIGH SCHOOL BOY THWARTS
ATTEMPTED BANK ROBBERY."
PRETTY EXCITING, HUH?
WELL, IT IS FOR OUR TOWN ANYWAY.
WE DON'T HAVE MANY
BANK ROBBERIES.
THE LAST ONE WAS
IN, UH, 1933, I BELIEVE.
THE MCLURRY BOYS GOT
AWAY WITH A BIG BAG OF STUFF...
WHICH TURNED OUT TO BE
MOSTLY CANCELLED CHECKS.
[chuckles]
THE PAPER REFERS TO BUD'S
COURAGE AND QUICK THINKING.
NOW THIS IS THE
SAME QUICK THINKER
WHO ALMOST FLUNKED ALGEBRA.
[canned laughter]
HE'S CALLED A HERO.
DID YOU EVER STOP TO
THINK WHAT MAKES A HERO?
NO ONE STUDIES TO BE A HERO.
THERE ARE NO COURSES TO TAKE,
SO WHAT ARE THE INGREDIENTS?
WHAT'S THE MIXTURE?
WELL, I'VE TRIED TO ASSEMBLE
OR, UM, REASSEMBLE
THE INGREDIENTS
THAT FASHIONED OUR HERO.
[chuckles] COME OVER HERE.
FIRST, THERE ARE CERTAIN
PROPS THAT PLAY THE PART.
NUMBER ONE, UH,
A BROKEN FAN BELT.
NUMBER TWO... [chuckles]
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT THEY CALL THESE.
JUST DICE, I GUESS.
IF YOU'RE A BOY AND HAVE A CAR,
YOU HAVE TO HAVE THESE THINGS
HANGING ON THE WINDSHIELD
OR, UM, YOU'RE NOWHERE A KID.
[canned laughter]
NOW YOU ADD IN
SUCH FACTORS AS, UH,
BUD'S GULLIBILITY WITH GIRLS,
HIS FOOLISH EXTRAVAGANCE,
HIS REFUSAL TO HEED
HIS SISTER'S ADVICE
OR A MOTHER'S WARNINGS,
OH, YES, AND A
GAME OF HOPSCOTCH,
AND A BAD COLD... UH,
MY SECRETARY'S COLD.
NOW YOU TAKE ALL THESE
UNRELATED, UNHEROIC FACTORS,
AND YOU HAVE THE
MAKINGS OF A HERO.
NOW, WE HAVE TO PUT
THE PARTS TOGETHER.
NOW I WANT YOU TO NOTICE,
AS I DID, THAT THERE IS A...
UH, AN ALMOST PREDESTINED
CHAIN OF EVENTS LEADING OUR HERO...
[laughs]
DRAGGING OUR HERO
TO HIS MOMENT OF GLORY.
[canned laughter]
ACCORDING TO THE PAPER,
THAT MOMENT OCCURRED
FRIDAY AFTERNOON
AT EXACTLY 5:37,
BUT THE CHAIN OF EVENTS
LEADING UP TO IT BEGAN AT 3:26 P.M.,
2 HOURS AND 11
MINUTES EARLIER...
IN A VERY STRANGE PLACE.
[chuckles]
YES, IT BEGINS IN
A BEAUTY PARLOR
WITH TWO GIRLS I'VE NEVER SEEN.
[chuckles]
WELL, ANYWAY, UM, JUST REMEMBER,
AS YOU LISTEN TO
THIS CONVERSATION,
THE FIRST INGREDIENT
I NAMED, GULLIBILITY.
- LET'S GO, EDIE.
YOU DON'T NEED THAT WAVE SET
NOW THAT YOU'RE NOT
GOING TO THE PARTY TONIGHT.
- I MIGHT GO ANYWAY,
JUST TO SHOW OLD GEORGE
HE CAN'T BREAK A DATE WITH
ME AND GET AWAY WITH IT.
MISS! MISS!
OH, THIS IS THE HARDEST
PLACE TO GET WAITED ON.
- BUT WHO WOULD YOU GO WITH?
IT'S TOO LATE NOW TO TRAP
ANYBODY INTO ASKING YOU.
- OH, THERE MUST
BE SOMEBODY LEFT.
I DON'T CARE WHO IT IS, JUST
AS LONG AS HE HAS A CAR.
I WANNA SHOW THAT
SMART ALECK GEORGE
HE'S NOT THE ONLY
ONE WITH A CAR.
- BUT ALL OF THE BOYS WITH
CARS ARE ALREADY TRAPPED.
NO, WAIT. I KNOW,
THERE'S... OH, NO.
YOU WOULDN'T WANNA GO WITH HIM.
- WHO?
- OH, NO, NO, THAT
WOULD BE GOING TOO FAR.
- WELL, WHO?
LOOK, I'M DESPERATE.
- BUD ANDERSON?
[canned laughter]
- HOW DESPERATE CAN YOU BE?
- WELL, I DIDN'T THINK
YOU'D WANNA GO.
- WAIT... ACTUALLY HE HAS
TWO THINGS IN HIS FAVOR,
HE DOES HAVE A CAR, IF YOU
CAN CALL THAT THING A CAR...
AND HE'S KIND OF...
WHA... WHAT'S THE WORD?
- DUMB?
[canned laughter]
- NO. THAT'LL DO.
COME ON, LET'S FIND HIM.
I CAN BUY THIS LATER.
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- SO NOW, YOU HAVE SEEN
THE FIRST LINK IN THE CHAIN.
THE CHAIN REACTION HAS STARTED.
A HERO IS NOW IN THE MAKING.
NOW FRANKLY... AS A MAN,
I... I HATE TO LET YOU SEE
WHAT HAPPENS IN THIS NEXT LINK,
ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S
HAPPENING TO MY SON.
BUT I HAVE TO GIVE YOU ALL
THE FACTS, SO HERE IT GOES.
UH, THIS IS BUD'S, UM... YES, I
GUESS YOU COULD CALL IT A CAR.
RIGHT ON CUE, HERE
COMES THE TWO CHARMERS,
THE TWO SIRENS, LORELEIS,
READY TO SET AN INSIDIOUS SNARE
FOR THE POOR, UNSUSPECTING HERO.
[chuckles]
OH, I WISH WE
COULD SKIP THIS PART.
[canned laughter]
- JUST LOOK AT THAT MONSTROSITY!
WOULDN'T YOU JUST KNOW
HE'D BE THE TYPE TO
PAINT FLAMES ALL OVER IT?
- AT LEAST HE DOESN'T HAVE
THOSE SILLY-LOOKING DICE
HANGIN' IN HIS WINDSHIELD.
- HE DOESN'T EVEN
HAVE A WINDSHIELD.
[canned laughter]
- [whistling]
- HERE COMES YOUR VICTIM NOW.
MAN YOUR BATTLE STATIONS, MA'AM.
- NO, IRMA, DON'T
YOU DARE TELL BUD!
I'D DIE!
WHY, I'D SIMPLY DIE.
OH, OH, BUD, EXCUSE ME,
BUT... BUT DID YOU SEE GEORGE
AT BASKETBALL PRACTICE?
- GEORGE? WHY, NO.
WELL, HE ISN'T GOING OUT FOR
BASKETBALL, YOU KNOW THAT.
- OH. WHY, THAT JUST PROVES
I CAN'T BELIEVE A THING
HE TELLS ME ANYMORE.
I WISH YOU HADN'T EVEN
MENTIONED HIS NAME.
- ME? I... I DIDN'T...
- PLEASE, BUD, GEORGE HAS
MADE ME UNHAPPY ENOUGH AS IT IS,
ESPECIALLY WHEN HE
STARTS SAYING THAT YOU...
NO, I... I SHOULDN'T
TELL YOU THAT.
DON'T YOU TELL EITHER.
THANKS FOR BEING SO
UNDERSTANDING, BUD.
[canned laughter]
COME ON, IRMA.
- WELL, WAIT. UH,
WHAT DID GEORGE SAY?
- WELL...
NO, YOU'RE TOO NICE.
I... I WOULDN'T WANNA
CAUSE YOU ANY TROUBLE,
NOT WITH OLD JEALOUS GEORGE.
YOU SEE, HE THINKS JUST BECAUSE
I TALK ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME
THAT I...
[canned laughter]
NO, I'M NOT GONNA TELL YOU THAT.
COME ON, IRMA.
- WAIT.
YOU SAY YOU TALK
ABOUT ME ALL THE TIME?
- OH, I... I... I
DIDN'T MEAN THAT.
- WELL?
- PLEASE, BUD,
I DON'T WANNA TALK
ABOUT IT ANYMORE.
I JUST WANNA GO HOME
AND STAY THERE TONIGHT,
JUST WANT TO STAY HOME TONIGHT.
- OH, UM, WELL, AREN'T YOU
GOING TO THE SOPHOMORE PARTY
WITH GEORGE TONIGHT?
- NO, I TOLD HIM HE BETTER
FIND SOME OTHER GIRL.
- GOODBYE, BUD.
- WELL, WAIT!
[canned laughter]
EDIE, IF YOU'RE NOT
GOING WITH GEORGE,
HOW'D YOU LIKE TO GO WITH ME?
- WHY, WHY BUD!
WITH YOU?
NO. NO, I COULDN'T.
I... IT'S SWEET OF YOU, BUT YOU'RE
JUST FEELING SORRY FOR ME.
- NO. NO, I'M NOT.
I... I DON'T FEEL A
BIT SORRY FOR YOU.
- WELL, I MEAN THAT AS...
- NO, BUD.
THANKS, BUT I MUSTN'T.
- WELL, OKAY THEN.
- YOU CAN PICK ME UP AT 7.
[canned laughter]
- HMM?
- IN YOUR CAR.
BE SURE AND BRING
YOUR BEAUTIFUL CAR.
[canned laughter]
SEE YOU TONIGHT, BUD.
[romantic music]
♪ ♪
- BOY, THAT EADIE ELTON IS A
NEAT LITTLE SACK OF POTATOES.
- YEAH, AND GUESS WHO'S TAKING
THAT NEAT LITTLE
SACK OF POTATOES
TO THE SOPHOMORE PARTY TONIGHT?
LITTLE OL' ME.
- YOU? HUH! DON'T FEED ME.
- NO KIDDING.
I JUST NOW TALKED HER INTO
IT, AND IT WASN'T EASY EITHER.
[canned laughter]
- WELL, WHAT ABOUT
HER BOYFRIEND GEORGE?
- OH, I'D CUT THAT
CAT RIGHT OUT.
COME ON. I GOTTA GO
HOME, SO I CAN GET READY.
SAY, YOU THINK I OUGHT
TO WASH THE CAR?
- UH, I WOULDN'T TAKE THE
CHANCE. IT MIGHT SHRINK.
[canned laughter]
- SAY NO CRACKS ABOUT
THIS CAR, EDIE LOVES IT.
I JUST WISH I HAD FIXED
IT UP FANCIER FOR HER.
YOU KNOW, IT ISN'T EVERYDAY
A GUY GETS SUCH A
FANCY SACK OF POTATOES.
SAY, WHAT DO YOU
THINK THIS CAR LACKS?
- HMM? MOTOR, BODY, UPHOLSTERY.
- HEY, THAT'S IT.
THAT'S WHAT WE NEED, A
PAIR OF GENUINE ANGORA DICE.
- BUT THEY COST BIG DOUGH,
A COUPLE OF BUCKS MAYBE.
- YEAH, I KNOW,
IT'LL WIPE ME OUT.
BUT I GOTTA HAVE 'EM FOR EDIE.
[engine running]
YOU'RE HANDSOME, BUT
YOU SURE ARE EXPENSIVE.
THERE'S NO GETTING AROUND
IT. WOMEN COST MONEY.
- HEY, DON'T PARK THERE, WE'RE
PLAYING HOPSCOTCH THERE.
WE GOT OUR SQUARES ALL
DRAWN ON THE DRIVEWAY.
- WELL, DRAW 'EM
SOME PLACE ELSE.
- MOMMY DOESN'T WANT
US TO DRAW ANY PLACE ELSE.
PLEASE MOVE YOUR CAR,
BUD. PLEASE, PLEASE?
- WELL, OKAY. BUT I CAN
TELL YOU RIGHT NOW,
I HAVEN'T GOT TIME
FOR ANY KID STUFF.
I GOT MYSELF A REAL
COOL DATE, AND I'M GONNA...
[engine burst]
[intense music]
- WHAT HAPPENED?
DID SOMETHING BUST?
♪ ♪
[comical music]
- OH, MY GOSH. MY
FAN BELT'S RUINED.
NOW, LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE.
[canned laughter]
- ME?
- MOM. MOM.
♪ ♪
- NOW, HOW DO YOU
SUPPOSE I DID THAT?
[canned laughter]
- AND SO, WE MOVE CLOSER
TO THE HOUR OF HEROISM.
YOU'VE SEEN SOME OF
THE FORCES AT WORK...
GULLIBILITY, A HOPSCOTCH
GAME, A BROKEN FAN BELT.
OH, YES,
EXTRAVAGANCE. [chuckles]
OH, HOW BUD WISHED
WE HADN'T BLOWN ALL HIS
HARD-EARNED MONEY ON THESE.
WELL, IN THE PROGRESS OF A HERO,
THERE CAN BE NO TURNING BACK,
NO REGRETS.
SO WE MOVE ON TO THE
NEXT LINK IN OUR CHAIN,
A LINK, WHEREIN MARGARET
UPSETS THE OLD ADAGE
THAT A BOY'S BEST
FRIEND IS HIS MOTHER.
- MOM! DEAR, SWEET, LITTLE
OLD, FAVORITE MOTHER OF MINE.
- WHATEVER IT IS, I
HAVEN'T TIME TO DO IT.
- YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO A THING.
- WELL, I'M BROKE TOO.
- WELL, THAT'S NOT
ALL THAT'S BROKE.
- LOOK.
- WHAT'S THAT?
- WHAT IS IT? IT'S A FAN
BELT OUT OF MY CAR.
- WELL, CAN'T YOU MEND IT?
UP IN THAT CUPBOARD IS A ROLL
OF GOOD STRONG MENDING TAPE.
- MOM, YOU CAN'T TAPE
A FAN BELT TOGETHER.
I'LL HAVE TO BUY A NEW ONE.
IT ONLY COSTS A COUPLE
OF BUCKS, THREE MAYBE.
- NOW, BUD, YOU
KNOW THE AGREEMENT,
ANY MONEY YOU SPEND ON THAT CAR
EITHER COMES OUT OF YOUR
ALLOWANCE OR YOU EARN IT.
- MOM, THERE ISN'T
TIME TO EARN IT.
I NEED THE CAR FOR A BIG DATE
TONIGHT, SOPHOMORE PARTY.
- CAN'T YOU WALK?
- NO.
SHE SAID, "BRING THE CAR."
- WELL, IT SEEMS TO ME THAT ANY
GIRL WHO REALLY CARES FOR YOU
WILL BE WILLING TO WALK.
IT'S ONLY A SHORT DISTANCE.
- MOM, THIS ISN'T JUST ANY GIRL.
THIS IS EDIE ELTON.
[canned laughter]
- EDIE ELTON?
- YEAH, EDIE ELTON.
- SO SHE DID IT, EH?
SHE HOOKED YOU.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
- WELL, I WAS AT
THE BEAUTY PARLOR
HAVING MY HAIR DONE WHEN...
OH, HOW DOES IT LOOK, MOTHER?
- WELL, IT LOOKS
NICE. I LIKE IT.
- WHEN WHAT?
- OH, WHEN EDIE AND
SOME OTHER GIRL CAME IN
TO BUY SOME WAVE SET, AND I
HEARD EDIE TALKING ABOUT YOU.
- WELL, NATURALLY.
I FOUND THAT SHE TALKS
ABOUT ME ALL THE TIME.
IN FACT,
THAT'S THE REASON HER AND
HER BOYFRIEND GEORGE BROKE UP.
HE GOT JEALOUS OF ME.
- JEALOUS?
OH, BUD, DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?
SHE TRAPPED YOU INTO THAT DATE.
- TRAPPED ME?
I STOOD ON THAT SIDEWALK
A GOOD HALF HOUR
TRYING TO TALK
HER INTO THAT DATE.
- IT WAS ALL MY IDEA.
- SURE.
SHE WORKED IT AROUND, SO
YOU'D THINK IT WAS YOUR IDEA.
- YEAH? THEN HOW COME SHE WAS
SO SURPRISED WHEN I ASKED HER?
[canned laughter]
- BROTHER.
- MOM, IF YOU JUST ADVANCE
ME NEXT WEEK'S ALLOWANCE.
- BUD, YOU KNOW VERY WELL
YOUR FATHER HAS PUT A STOP
TO ALL ADVANCED ALLOWANCES.
- YEAH, BUT MOM?
- DON'T LET HIM HAVE IT, MOTHER.
- NOW, WAIT JUST A MINUTE!
- HIS BROKEN FAN BELT
IS A BLESSING IN DISGUISE.
IT WILL KEEP YOU
FROM GETTING TAKEN
BY THAT SCHEMING LITTLE WENCH.
- IF YOU DON'T
MIND, SISTER DEAR,
I'D RATHER NOT HEAR ANY
MORE SLANDERING SLURS
ABOUT MY GIRLFRIEND.
- ALL RIGHT, ALL
RIGHT. GO AHEAD.
YOU DESERVE EXACTLY
WHAT YOU'RE GONNA GET.
- MOM, IF I PROMISE TO
PAY YOU RIGHT BACK...
- NO, BUD. WE'VE BEEN
ALL THROUGH THAT.
THE ANSWER IS NO.
- SAY, BETTY, REMEMBER WHEN
YOU WANTED TO BUY THAT UKULELE
AND I LOANED YOU
SOME MONEY, AND...
- OH, NO.
[canned laughter]
OH, I'M NOT GONNA
BE A PARTY TO THIS.
I'M NOT GONNA HAVE THE
SHEARING OF A STUPID LITTLE LAMB
ON MY CONSCIENCE.
[canned laughter]
- [breathes heavily]
OKAY, I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE
TO GO DOWN TO DAD'S OFFICE
AND TALK IT OVER WITH HIM.
I GUESS HE'S THE ONLY ONE
AROUND HERE THAT UNDERSTANDS.
- NO, I WOULDN'T GO DOWN
AND BOTHER YOUR
FATHER AT THE OFFICE.
- DAD SAID ANYTIME I HAD
ANYTHING REALLY IMPORTANT
TO TAKE UP WITH
HIM TO GO RIGHT...
- HOW ARE YOU GONNA GET DOWN
THERE IF YOUR CAR WON'T RUN?
- I STILL GOT MY BIKE. IT RUNS.
- WHY DON'T YOU JUST
RIDE EDIE TO THE PARTY
ON YOUR HANDLE BARS?
[canned laughter]
- BOY, AREN'T YOU FUNNY.
[canned laughter]
- NOT HALF SO FUNNY AS THE
RIDE SHE'S TAKING YOU FOR.
- BUD, I'D RATHER YOU DIDN'T
RIDE YOUR BIKE DOWN THERE
IN ALL THAT TRAFFIC.
I'M AFRAID SOMETHING
MIGHT HAPPEN.
- OH, NOTHING WILL HAP...
WHAT COULD HAPPEN?
I... I'VE RIDDEN MY BIKE
DOWNTOWN A MILLION TIMES BEFORE
AND NOTHING'S EVER HAPPENED.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
- YOU'VE JUST SEEN HIM
IGNORE A MOTHER'S WARNING
AND A SISTER'S SAGE ADVICE.
AND NOW YOU WILL SEE HIM TACKLE
THE OLD SOFT
TOUCH OF THE FAMILY.
[chuckles] YEAH, THAT'S ME.
BUT FATE HAS THIS RIGGED, TOO.
A MAN IS NO LONGER
A LOVABLE SOFT TOUCH
WHEN HIS SECRETARY'S
GONE HOME WITH A COLD
AND LEFT HIM SWAMPED WITH WORK.
- UH, DAD.
DAD.
- [sighs] HELLO, FRANK.
UH, FRANK, YOU BETTER
CALL BACK TOMORROW.
I'M SURE MY SECRETARY
WILL BE BACK BY THEN
AND SHE CAN FIND YOUR POLICY.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE
SHE HIDES THESE THINGS.
- BUT, DAD.
- ALL RIGHT, I'LL HAVE A LOOK,
BUT I DON'T THINK
I'LL BE ABLE TO FIND IT.
- HANG ON.
- SAY, DAD.
- WHAT BRINGS YOU
DOWN HERE, BUD?
- WELL, YOU SEE,
WHAT HAPPENED IS
I GOT THIS REAL COOL
DATE FOR TONIGHT.
- MILLER, MILLER, MILLER.
YOU'D THINK SHE
FILED IT UNDER M,
BUT NO, SHE'S GOT SOME
SECRET CODE OF HER OWN.
- LOOK, MY FAN BELT'S BROKE.
[canned laughter]
- WHY DID SHE PICK
OUT TODAY OF ALL DAYS
TO COME DOWN WITH A COLD?
THERE ARE 364 OTHER
DAYS IN THE YEAR.
WHAT DID YOU SAY
ABOUT YOUR FAN BELT?
- WELL, LOOK, IT'S BROKE.
- OH, WAIT, THIS MIGHT HELP.
[groans] [canned laughter]
- I NEED A NEW
ONE. I'VE ALREADY...
- NO, THIS IS NO GOOD.
- I NEED THE CAR
FOR A DATE TONIGHT.
- SO IF YOU'D JUST LOAN ME...
- OH, HERE'S SOMETHING. YEAH.
- IF YOU'D JUST LOAN ME ABOUT
3 BUCKS, I'LL GET OUT OF HERE
- AND STOP BOTHERING YOU.
- HELLO, FRANK.
I HAVE A LETTER HERE, WHICH
SAYS YOUR FAN BELT WAS...
I MEAN, YOUR POLICY WAS
SENT TO THE HOME OFFICE
FOR THE LOAN ENDORSEMENT,
SO EVERYTHING IS UNDER CONTROL.
YEAH, FINE.
OH! WHAT A DAY.
NOW, WHAT'S THIS
ABOUT YOUR FAN BELT?
- WELL, LOOK.
- WELL, THAT'S NO GOOD.
YOU BETTER GET
YOURSELF A NEW ONE.
- WELL, THAT'S WHAT
I WANT TO TELL YOU,
AND I NEED SOME MONEY.
- BUD, WE'LL TALK
ABOUT IT LATER.
I'M SO SWAMPED WITH WORK NOW.
- DAD, I... I GOTTA
HAVE IT RIGHT NOW.
- I GOT THIS BIG DATE TONIGHT.
- BUD, I DON'T HAVE TIME!
- DAD, LET'S SAY THAT, UH,
WHEN YOU WERE A YOUNG GUY,
A... ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU
GOT THIS DATE WITH, UH, SAY,
CLARA BOWE.
- CLARA BOWE?
- THEN YOUR FAN BELT SNAPPED.
- THAT WOULD HAVE
DONE IT ALL RIGHT.
- THAT'S JUST WHAT I'M IN.
- LOOK, SON, I'M SO
SWAMPED NOW AND...
OH, MY GOSH, I FORGOT
TO GO TO THE BANK TODAY.
BUD, DO ME A FAVOR, WILL YOU,
AND TAKE THESE DEPOSITS
DOWN TO THE BANK FOR ME?
- DAD, I HAVEN'T GOT THE TIME.
- IT WON'T TAKE YOU LONG.
THE SLIP IS ALL MADE OUT.
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS
HAND IT TO THE TELLER.
- WELL, IT'S PAST 3.
THE BANKS ARE CLOSED.
- NO, IT'S FRIDAY. THEY'RE
OPEN TILL 6 O' CLOCK.
HERE. MISS THOMAS
USUALLY DOES IT,
BUT SHE'S NOT HERE TODAY,
AND I CAN'T LEAVE RIGHT NOW.
- WELL, WELL.
- [sighs]
- I'LL MAKE YOU A DEAL.
- OH, ALL RIGHT. HOW MUCH?
- THREE BUCKS.
- 2.50.
- 2.75.
[canned laughter]
- SO NOW YOU HAVE SEEN THE
PART THE SECRETARY'S COLD
PLAYED IN THE
FASHIONING OF A HERO.
AND WE ARE READY
FOR THE FINAL LINK.
IT IS NOW EXACTLY
5:34 AND A HALF.
IN TWO AND A HALF MINUTES,
A HERO WILL BE BORN.
ONE OF THESE PEOPLE IS
PLANNING TO ROB THIS BANK.
CAN YOU PICK HIM OUT?
ACCORDING TO BUD, YOU
CAN TELL BY THE WAY HIS EYES
ARE SET IN HIS HEAD.
OH, NO, NOT HIM.
HE'S OUR PARK COMMISSIONER,
SINGS SECOND TENOR IN THE CHOIR.
[canned laughter]
ALL RIGHT, THE STAGE IS SET.
ENTER, OUR HERO.
OH, YES, HE STOPPED
TO BUY THE NEW FAN BELT.
IMPORTANT THINGS
COME FIRST. [canned laughter]
NOW, I WANT YOU TO WATCH
HOW OUR KEEN-EYED HERO
QUICKLY SPOTS THE HOLDUP MAN.
HOW HE TOYS WITH HIM.
HOW HE WATCHES
HIM... GIMLET-EYED.
- MAN, MAN, I WISH
THEY'D MOVE THIS LINE.
OH, I GOTTA GET OUTTA
HERE PRETTY PRONTO.
[canned laughter]
- THANK YOU.
HELLO THERE. HOW ARE YOU TODAY?
THANK YOU.
HELLO THERE. HOW ARE YOU TODAY?
- OKAY.
- WHAT DOES THIS SAY?
HOLD-UP? OH.
[thuds]
[alarm blaring]
- [woman screams]
- DON'T LET HIM GET
AWAY! GET HIM, GET HIM!
- GOOD WORK, SON!
THAT'S USING THE OL' HEAD.
- OH, HONEY, YOU WERE
WONDERFUL, JUST WONDERFUL!
- AND SO IT HAPPENED.
IT WAS ALL OVER
IN A FEW SECONDS.
NINE, IN FACT.
NINE SECONDS TO MAKE A HERO.
"QUICK THINKING ON YOUNG BUD
ANDERSON'S PART," IT SAYS HERE.
"QUICK THINKING
AND BOLD COURAGE."
NOW THESE ARE PHRASES CALCULATED
TO SWELL THE HEART OF
ANY FATHER WITH PRIDE.
THE EYEWITNESS ACCOUNTS HERE
ARE DIFFERENT
QUITE A BIT IN DETAILS,
BUT THEY ALL TESTIFIED
OF BUD'S BRAVERY
AND BOLDLY TACKLING
AN ARMED MAN.
UH, INCIDENTALLY, THE GUN TURNED
OUT TO BE JUST A PLASTIC TOY,
BUT WHO KNEW THAT AT THE TIME?
[canned laughter]
YES, IT'S A FINE
STORY OF HEROISM.
BUT WAIT. [chuckles]
THE STORY'S NOT OVER YET.
THE MOST IMPORTANT
PART IS YET TO COME.
TO TELL IT, WE MUST
GO BACK TO, UH,
TO WHERE YOU CAME IN.
OR RATHER WHERE REVEREND
SWAYNE HAD JUST COME IN
- I WAS JUST READING IN THE
PAPER ABOUT THAT BOY OF YOURS
AND I DROPPED BY TO
CONGRATULATE HIM.
- OH, THAT'S VERY
THOUGHTFUL OF YOU.
I MUST SAY, THIS HAS
BEEN QUITE A DAY FOR HIM.
BUD, WOULD YOU COME OVER
HERE A MINUTE HERE, PLEASE?
- SURE, MOM.
YOU GUYS WAIT HERE,
HUH? MY PUBLIC'S CALLING.
- I HAVE A PROPOSITION
I WANNA PUT TO BUD.
YOU SEE, UH, NEXT FRIDAY...
OH, HERE'S OUR BOY.
BUD, I WANT TO COMMEND YOU
ON A FINE PIECE OF BRAVERY.
- WELL, THANK YOU, SIR.
- YES, SIR.
QUICK THINKING.
COURAGE.
VERY, VERY GOOD.
IN FACT, I'M HOPING
THAT I CAN GET YOU
TO TELL THIS WHOLE EXCITING
STORY AT THE CHURCH.
- A... AT THE CHURCH?
- WELL, REVEREND
SWAYNE, HELLO THERE.
- HELLO, JIM.
I WAS JUST TRYING TO
PERSUADE YOUR SON
TO GIVE A TALK AT THE
CHURCH, FRIDAY NIGHT.
- OH.
[laughing]
- THAT'S OUR BIG
YOUTH RALLY, YOU KNOW.
- WELL, FINE.
- I CAN ASSURE YOU
THAT YOU WILL HAVE
A LARGE FASCINATED
AUDIENCE, BUD.
THEY'LL ALL BE ANXIOUS
TO HEAR A FIRSTHAND
ACCOUNT OF YOUR HEROISM.
- YOU MEAN, TELL WHAT
HAPPENED AT THE BANK?
- YES, AND THEN WORK IT
INTO A GOOD INSPIRATIONAL
MESSAGE ON COURAGE.
- N... NO, I DON'T THINK
I'M THE ONE FOR THAT.
- OH, YES, YOU ARE, BUD.
YOU SHOULDN'T TURN
DOWN THINGS LIKE THIS.
- OH, NO, I... I...
- [laughing] THAT'S
A HERO FOR YOU.
HE CAN FACE AN ARMED MAN,
BUT TREMBLES AT THE
THOUGHT OF FACING AN AUDIENCE.
- OH, YOU'LL GET OVER THAT, BUD,
THE MINUTE YOU START TALKING.
EVERYONE THERE WILL BE EAGER
TO HEAR EVERY WORD YOU SAY.
- NO, DAD, I DON'T THINK
I'M THE ONE TO DO IT.
- OH, BUD, DON'T BE SO MODEST.
- NO, I HAVEN'T SEEN
ANY SIGNS OF YOU
BEING A SHRINKING VIOLET,
WHY THE SUDDEN CHANGE?
- HE'LL DO IT.
- DAD.
- I'LL HAVE HIM DRAW UP A
ROUGH DRAFT OF HIS TALK
- AND BRING IT DOWN TO YOU.
- NO DAD, I CAN'T DO IT.
- BUD, WHAT'S THE
MATTER WITH YOU?
- WELL, I... I JUST CAN'T DO
IT, N... NOT IN THE CHURCH.
- WH... WHAT'S THE
CHURCH GOT TO DO WITH IT?
- WELL...
IT'S...
OH, GOSH.
THANKS ANYWAY FOR ASKING ME.
- BUD, COME BACK HERE.
I'D LIKE AN EXPLANATION OF THIS.
- DAD, I... I CAN'T EXPLAIN,
NOT IN FRONT OF
GANG OF YARD DOGS.
THEY'D RAG ME TO DEATH.
- ABOUT WHAT?
- WELL, W... WAIT JUST A MINUTE.
SEE, YOU GUYS BETTER
ROLL ALONG NOW,
I... I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.
- GOOD NIGHT, MR. ANDERSON.
- GOOD NIGHT. GOOD NIGHT, BOYS.
- GOOD NIGHT, MR. ANDERSON.
- GOOD NIGHT.
- SAY, WAIT JUST A
MINUTE, COME ON BACK!
COME ON BACK, YOU GUYS.
YOU MIGHT AS WELL
HEAR THIS, TOO.
YOU'RE GONNA FIND
ABOUT IT ANYWAY,
SO YOU MIGHT AS
WELL HEAR IT FROM ME.
THINK WHAT YOU WANT
ABOUT ME, I GOT IT COMING.
UH, I'M NO MORE A
HERO THAN BUGS BUNNY.
I HAVEN'T BEEN TELLING
THE TRUTH ABOUT THIS THING.
THAT'S WHY I COULDN'T
TELL THIS IN THE CHURCH.
YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENED?
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED.
I NEVER TACKLED THAT GUY.
I WASN'T BRAVE.
I DIDN'T DO ANY QUICK THINKING.
I WAS JUST SO DOGGONE SCARED,
SO LILY-LIVERED
SCARED I... FAINTED.
JUST LIKE A GIRL.
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HAPPENED
TILL SOMEBODY PICKED ME UP
AND... TOLD ME HOW GREAT I WAS.
THAT'S IT.
- LET'S GO, GUYS.
- UH, JUST A MINUTE, BOYS.
DON'T LEAVE YET.
I DON'T THINK YOU QUITE
UNDERSTOOD WHAT YOU JUST HEARD.
ALL YOU UNDERSTOOD WAS
THAT A BOY DIDN'T
COMMIT AN ACT OF COURAGE
THAT HE WAS GIVEN CREDIT FOR.
YOU KNOW THERE'S MORE
THAN ONE KIND OF COURAGE
AND IT TAKES A GOOD
DEAL STRONGER KIND
TO STAND UP IN FRONT
OF YOUR FELLOWMEN
AND TELL THE TRUTH
ABOUT YOURSELF
THAN IT DOES TO CAPTURE
SIX BANK ROBBERS.
THAT'S MY KIND OF COURAGE.
NOW, BUD, HERE'S
HOW WE'LL OUTLINE
YOUR TALK FOR FRIDAY NIGHT.
WITH THIS NEW ANGLE, WE'LL
HAVE A HUMDINGER OF A SPEECH.
[canned laughter]
- YOU KNOW, I NEVER DID THINK
OLD BUD TACKLED
THAT OLD BURGLAR.
- NO, ME EITHER.
- ACTUALLY, OL'
BUD'S NOT A BAD GUY.
- [chuckling]
BUT ACTUALLY OL'
BUD AIN'T A BAD GUY.
NOT MUCH OF AN ENDING
FOR THIS STORY OF A HERO,
WELL, THAT IS FORMER HERO.
BUT JUST BETWEEN YOU AND ME,
I MUCH PREFER HAVING ONE OL' BUD
AROUND THE HOUSE
TO A HUNDRED HEROES,
BECAUSE,
WELL,
ACTUALLY,
[sighs]
OLD BUD AIN'T A BAD GUY.
[canned laughter]
[applause]
[theme music]
♪ ♪
Narrator: ROBERT YOUNG...
AND JANE WYATT...
- [laughter]
WITH ELINOR DONAHUE, BILLY
GRAY, AND LAUREN CHAPIN...
IN FATHER KNOWS BEST.
- [grunts]
NOW I CAN'T PROMISE YOU KIDS
AUTOGRAPHS AT THESE PRICES,
BUT YOU DEFINITELY
WILL GET TO SEE
THE PUBLIC HERO, BUD ANDERSON.
NOW JUST STAY IN LINE AND...
HEY, THIS ISN'T A
PENNY, IT'S A SLUG.
- WELL, IT WORKS JUST AS
GOOD IN A GUM MACHINE.
- OH, NO, YOU CAN'T
SEE A HERO FOR A SLUG.
NOW YOU GO HOME
AND GET A PENNY, GO ON!
- DOES BUD ANDERSON
REALLY LIVE HERE?
- SURE, HE DOES.
HEY, GET AWAY!
[children clamoring]
- IT WAS NOTHING,
JUST A SCRATCH.
- WEREN'T YOU SCARED?
- SCARED? NO.
AT A TIME LIKE THAT,
A GUY IS TOO KEYED
UP TO BE SCARED.
- GEE, I WOULD HAVE
BEEN PETRIFIED.
- WHEN DID YOU FIRST
START SUSPICION IN THIS GUY?
[canned laughter]
- THE MINUTE I LAID EYES ON
HIM, I COULD TELL RIGHT AWAY,
SOMETHING ABOUT THE WAY
HIS EYES WERE SET IN HIS HEAD.
♪ ♪
[canned laughter]
[children cheering]
KIDS.
- WELL, IF YOU HAD
SUSPICIONED HIM,
WHY DIDN'T YOU MOVE
IN ON HIM RIGHT AWAY?
- NO, CLAUDE,
YOU GOT TO LET THESE
HOODS COMMIT THEIRSELVES,
THEN YOU MOVE IN.
SO I TOYED, LIKE A CAT
TOYS WITH A MOUSE.
I CASED HIM WITH GIMLET EYES.
[canned laughter]
- GIMLET EYES?
HONESTLY, THAT
SO-CALLED HERO OF OURS
IS GETTING SO NAUSEATING,
I COULD HARDLY STAND IT.
- WELL, LET HIM HAVE
HIS MOMENT OF GLORY,
MAYBE THE ONLY
ONE HE'LL EVER HAVE.
[doorbell dings]
- SAY, SOMEBODY GET THE DOOR,
AND IF THEY WANT
AUTOGRAPHS, TELL THEM LATER.
- AUTOGRAPHS?
[canned laughter]
- WELL REVEREND SWAIN,
WON'T YOU COME IN?
- THANK YOU, MRS. ANDERSON.
- WELL, YOU HAVEN'T PAID
US A VISIT IN THE LONG TIME,
REVEREND SWAYNE.
I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU'D GIVEN
US UP AS HOPELESS HEATHENS.
- OH, NO, NOT QUITE.
I WAS JUST READING IN THE
PAPER ABOUT THAT BOY OF YOURS
AND I DROPPED BY TO
CONGRATULATE HIM.
- OH, THAT'S VERY
THOUGHTFUL OF YOU.
I MUST SAY THIS HAS
BEEN QUITE A DAY...
- I DON'T LIKE TO INTERRUPT,
BUT, UH, I IMAGINED,
YOU'RE WONDERING WHAT
BROUGHT ON ALL THIS HERO WORSHIP,
PARTICULARLY FOR
A FELLOW LIKE BUD,
HARDLY THE, UH, HERO TYPE.
WELL, THIS IS IT.
IT'S RIGHT HERE IN THE
SPRINGFIELD PAPER,
"HIGH SCHOOL BOY THWARTS
ATTEMPTED BANK ROBBERY."
PRETTY EXCITING, HUH?
WELL, IT IS FOR OUR TOWN ANYWAY.
WE DON'T HAVE MANY
BANK ROBBERIES.
THE LAST ONE WAS
IN, UH, 1933, I BELIEVE.
THE MCLURRY BOYS GOT
AWAY WITH A BIG BAG OF STUFF...
WHICH TURNED OUT TO BE
MOSTLY CANCELLED CHECKS.
[chuckles]
THE PAPER REFERS TO BUD'S
COURAGE AND QUICK THINKING.
NOW THIS IS THE
SAME QUICK THINKER
WHO ALMOST FLUNKED ALGEBRA.
[canned laughter]
HE'S CALLED A HERO.
DID YOU EVER STOP TO
THINK WHAT MAKES A HERO?
NO ONE STUDIES TO BE A HERO.
THERE ARE NO COURSES TO TAKE,
SO WHAT ARE THE INGREDIENTS?
WHAT'S THE MIXTURE?
WELL, I'VE TRIED TO ASSEMBLE
OR, UM, REASSEMBLE
THE INGREDIENTS
THAT FASHIONED OUR HERO.
[chuckles] COME OVER HERE.
FIRST, THERE ARE CERTAIN
PROPS THAT PLAY THE PART.
NUMBER ONE, UH,
A BROKEN FAN BELT.
NUMBER TWO... [chuckles]
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT THEY CALL THESE.
JUST DICE, I GUESS.
IF YOU'RE A BOY AND HAVE A CAR,
YOU HAVE TO HAVE THESE THINGS
HANGING ON THE WINDSHIELD
OR, UM, YOU'RE NOWHERE A KID.
[canned laughter]
NOW YOU ADD IN
SUCH FACTORS AS, UH,
BUD'S GULLIBILITY WITH GIRLS,
HIS FOOLISH EXTRAVAGANCE,
HIS REFUSAL TO HEED
HIS SISTER'S ADVICE
OR A MOTHER'S WARNINGS,
OH, YES, AND A
GAME OF HOPSCOTCH,
AND A BAD COLD... UH,
MY SECRETARY'S COLD.
NOW YOU TAKE ALL THESE
UNRELATED, UNHEROIC FACTORS,
AND YOU HAVE THE
MAKINGS OF A HERO.
NOW, WE HAVE TO PUT
THE PARTS TOGETHER.
NOW I WANT YOU TO NOTICE,
AS I DID, THAT THERE IS A...
UH, AN ALMOST PREDESTINED
CHAIN OF EVENTS LEADING OUR HERO...
[laughs]
DRAGGING OUR HERO
TO HIS MOMENT OF GLORY.
[canned laughter]
ACCORDING TO THE PAPER,
THAT MOMENT OCCURRED
FRIDAY AFTERNOON
AT EXACTLY 5:37,
BUT THE CHAIN OF EVENTS
LEADING UP TO IT BEGAN AT 3:26 P.M.,
2 HOURS AND 11
MINUTES EARLIER...
IN A VERY STRANGE PLACE.
[chuckles]
YES, IT BEGINS IN
A BEAUTY PARLOR
WITH TWO GIRLS I'VE NEVER SEEN.
[chuckles]
WELL, ANYWAY, UM, JUST REMEMBER,
AS YOU LISTEN TO
THIS CONVERSATION,
THE FIRST INGREDIENT
I NAMED, GULLIBILITY.
- LET'S GO, EDIE.
YOU DON'T NEED THAT WAVE SET
NOW THAT YOU'RE NOT
GOING TO THE PARTY TONIGHT.
- I MIGHT GO ANYWAY,
JUST TO SHOW OLD GEORGE
HE CAN'T BREAK A DATE WITH
ME AND GET AWAY WITH IT.
MISS! MISS!
OH, THIS IS THE HARDEST
PLACE TO GET WAITED ON.
- BUT WHO WOULD YOU GO WITH?
IT'S TOO LATE NOW TO TRAP
ANYBODY INTO ASKING YOU.
- OH, THERE MUST
BE SOMEBODY LEFT.
I DON'T CARE WHO IT IS, JUST
AS LONG AS HE HAS A CAR.
I WANNA SHOW THAT
SMART ALECK GEORGE
HE'S NOT THE ONLY
ONE WITH A CAR.
- BUT ALL OF THE BOYS WITH
CARS ARE ALREADY TRAPPED.
NO, WAIT. I KNOW,
THERE'S... OH, NO.
YOU WOULDN'T WANNA GO WITH HIM.
- WHO?
- OH, NO, NO, THAT
WOULD BE GOING TOO FAR.
- WELL, WHO?
LOOK, I'M DESPERATE.
- BUD ANDERSON?
[canned laughter]
- HOW DESPERATE CAN YOU BE?
- WELL, I DIDN'T THINK
YOU'D WANNA GO.
- WAIT... ACTUALLY HE HAS
TWO THINGS IN HIS FAVOR,
HE DOES HAVE A CAR, IF YOU
CAN CALL THAT THING A CAR...
AND HE'S KIND OF...
WHA... WHAT'S THE WORD?
- DUMB?
[canned laughter]
- NO. THAT'LL DO.
COME ON, LET'S FIND HIM.
I CAN BUY THIS LATER.
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- SO NOW, YOU HAVE SEEN
THE FIRST LINK IN THE CHAIN.
THE CHAIN REACTION HAS STARTED.
A HERO IS NOW IN THE MAKING.
NOW FRANKLY... AS A MAN,
I... I HATE TO LET YOU SEE
WHAT HAPPENS IN THIS NEXT LINK,
ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S
HAPPENING TO MY SON.
BUT I HAVE TO GIVE YOU ALL
THE FACTS, SO HERE IT GOES.
UH, THIS IS BUD'S, UM... YES, I
GUESS YOU COULD CALL IT A CAR.
RIGHT ON CUE, HERE
COMES THE TWO CHARMERS,
THE TWO SIRENS, LORELEIS,
READY TO SET AN INSIDIOUS SNARE
FOR THE POOR, UNSUSPECTING HERO.
[chuckles]
OH, I WISH WE
COULD SKIP THIS PART.
[canned laughter]
- JUST LOOK AT THAT MONSTROSITY!
WOULDN'T YOU JUST KNOW
HE'D BE THE TYPE TO
PAINT FLAMES ALL OVER IT?
- AT LEAST HE DOESN'T HAVE
THOSE SILLY-LOOKING DICE
HANGIN' IN HIS WINDSHIELD.
- HE DOESN'T EVEN
HAVE A WINDSHIELD.
[canned laughter]
- [whistling]
- HERE COMES YOUR VICTIM NOW.
MAN YOUR BATTLE STATIONS, MA'AM.
- NO, IRMA, DON'T
YOU DARE TELL BUD!
I'D DIE!
WHY, I'D SIMPLY DIE.
OH, OH, BUD, EXCUSE ME,
BUT... BUT DID YOU SEE GEORGE
AT BASKETBALL PRACTICE?
- GEORGE? WHY, NO.
WELL, HE ISN'T GOING OUT FOR
BASKETBALL, YOU KNOW THAT.
- OH. WHY, THAT JUST PROVES
I CAN'T BELIEVE A THING
HE TELLS ME ANYMORE.
I WISH YOU HADN'T EVEN
MENTIONED HIS NAME.
- ME? I... I DIDN'T...
- PLEASE, BUD, GEORGE HAS
MADE ME UNHAPPY ENOUGH AS IT IS,
ESPECIALLY WHEN HE
STARTS SAYING THAT YOU...
NO, I... I SHOULDN'T
TELL YOU THAT.
DON'T YOU TELL EITHER.
THANKS FOR BEING SO
UNDERSTANDING, BUD.
[canned laughter]
COME ON, IRMA.
- WELL, WAIT. UH,
WHAT DID GEORGE SAY?
- WELL...
NO, YOU'RE TOO NICE.
I... I WOULDN'T WANNA
CAUSE YOU ANY TROUBLE,
NOT WITH OLD JEALOUS GEORGE.
YOU SEE, HE THINKS JUST BECAUSE
I TALK ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME
THAT I...
[canned laughter]
NO, I'M NOT GONNA TELL YOU THAT.
COME ON, IRMA.
- WAIT.
YOU SAY YOU TALK
ABOUT ME ALL THE TIME?
- OH, I... I... I
DIDN'T MEAN THAT.
- WELL?
- PLEASE, BUD,
I DON'T WANNA TALK
ABOUT IT ANYMORE.
I JUST WANNA GO HOME
AND STAY THERE TONIGHT,
JUST WANT TO STAY HOME TONIGHT.
- OH, UM, WELL, AREN'T YOU
GOING TO THE SOPHOMORE PARTY
WITH GEORGE TONIGHT?
- NO, I TOLD HIM HE BETTER
FIND SOME OTHER GIRL.
- GOODBYE, BUD.
- WELL, WAIT!
[canned laughter]
EDIE, IF YOU'RE NOT
GOING WITH GEORGE,
HOW'D YOU LIKE TO GO WITH ME?
- WHY, WHY BUD!
WITH YOU?
NO. NO, I COULDN'T.
I... IT'S SWEET OF YOU, BUT YOU'RE
JUST FEELING SORRY FOR ME.
- NO. NO, I'M NOT.
I... I DON'T FEEL A
BIT SORRY FOR YOU.
- WELL, I MEAN THAT AS...
- NO, BUD.
THANKS, BUT I MUSTN'T.
- WELL, OKAY THEN.
- YOU CAN PICK ME UP AT 7.
[canned laughter]
- HMM?
- IN YOUR CAR.
BE SURE AND BRING
YOUR BEAUTIFUL CAR.
[canned laughter]
SEE YOU TONIGHT, BUD.
[romantic music]
♪ ♪
- BOY, THAT EADIE ELTON IS A
NEAT LITTLE SACK OF POTATOES.
- YEAH, AND GUESS WHO'S TAKING
THAT NEAT LITTLE
SACK OF POTATOES
TO THE SOPHOMORE PARTY TONIGHT?
LITTLE OL' ME.
- YOU? HUH! DON'T FEED ME.
- NO KIDDING.
I JUST NOW TALKED HER INTO
IT, AND IT WASN'T EASY EITHER.
[canned laughter]
- WELL, WHAT ABOUT
HER BOYFRIEND GEORGE?
- OH, I'D CUT THAT
CAT RIGHT OUT.
COME ON. I GOTTA GO
HOME, SO I CAN GET READY.
SAY, YOU THINK I OUGHT
TO WASH THE CAR?
- UH, I WOULDN'T TAKE THE
CHANCE. IT MIGHT SHRINK.
[canned laughter]
- SAY NO CRACKS ABOUT
THIS CAR, EDIE LOVES IT.
I JUST WISH I HAD FIXED
IT UP FANCIER FOR HER.
YOU KNOW, IT ISN'T EVERYDAY
A GUY GETS SUCH A
FANCY SACK OF POTATOES.
SAY, WHAT DO YOU
THINK THIS CAR LACKS?
- HMM? MOTOR, BODY, UPHOLSTERY.
- HEY, THAT'S IT.
THAT'S WHAT WE NEED, A
PAIR OF GENUINE ANGORA DICE.
- BUT THEY COST BIG DOUGH,
A COUPLE OF BUCKS MAYBE.
- YEAH, I KNOW,
IT'LL WIPE ME OUT.
BUT I GOTTA HAVE 'EM FOR EDIE.
[engine running]
YOU'RE HANDSOME, BUT
YOU SURE ARE EXPENSIVE.
THERE'S NO GETTING AROUND
IT. WOMEN COST MONEY.
- HEY, DON'T PARK THERE, WE'RE
PLAYING HOPSCOTCH THERE.
WE GOT OUR SQUARES ALL
DRAWN ON THE DRIVEWAY.
- WELL, DRAW 'EM
SOME PLACE ELSE.
- MOMMY DOESN'T WANT
US TO DRAW ANY PLACE ELSE.
PLEASE MOVE YOUR CAR,
BUD. PLEASE, PLEASE?
- WELL, OKAY. BUT I CAN
TELL YOU RIGHT NOW,
I HAVEN'T GOT TIME
FOR ANY KID STUFF.
I GOT MYSELF A REAL
COOL DATE, AND I'M GONNA...
[engine burst]
[intense music]
- WHAT HAPPENED?
DID SOMETHING BUST?
♪ ♪
[comical music]
- OH, MY GOSH. MY
FAN BELT'S RUINED.
NOW, LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE.
[canned laughter]
- ME?
- MOM. MOM.
♪ ♪
- NOW, HOW DO YOU
SUPPOSE I DID THAT?
[canned laughter]
- AND SO, WE MOVE CLOSER
TO THE HOUR OF HEROISM.
YOU'VE SEEN SOME OF
THE FORCES AT WORK...
GULLIBILITY, A HOPSCOTCH
GAME, A BROKEN FAN BELT.
OH, YES,
EXTRAVAGANCE. [chuckles]
OH, HOW BUD WISHED
WE HADN'T BLOWN ALL HIS
HARD-EARNED MONEY ON THESE.
WELL, IN THE PROGRESS OF A HERO,
THERE CAN BE NO TURNING BACK,
NO REGRETS.
SO WE MOVE ON TO THE
NEXT LINK IN OUR CHAIN,
A LINK, WHEREIN MARGARET
UPSETS THE OLD ADAGE
THAT A BOY'S BEST
FRIEND IS HIS MOTHER.
- MOM! DEAR, SWEET, LITTLE
OLD, FAVORITE MOTHER OF MINE.
- WHATEVER IT IS, I
HAVEN'T TIME TO DO IT.
- YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO A THING.
- WELL, I'M BROKE TOO.
- WELL, THAT'S NOT
ALL THAT'S BROKE.
- LOOK.
- WHAT'S THAT?
- WHAT IS IT? IT'S A FAN
BELT OUT OF MY CAR.
- WELL, CAN'T YOU MEND IT?
UP IN THAT CUPBOARD IS A ROLL
OF GOOD STRONG MENDING TAPE.
- MOM, YOU CAN'T TAPE
A FAN BELT TOGETHER.
I'LL HAVE TO BUY A NEW ONE.
IT ONLY COSTS A COUPLE
OF BUCKS, THREE MAYBE.
- NOW, BUD, YOU
KNOW THE AGREEMENT,
ANY MONEY YOU SPEND ON THAT CAR
EITHER COMES OUT OF YOUR
ALLOWANCE OR YOU EARN IT.
- MOM, THERE ISN'T
TIME TO EARN IT.
I NEED THE CAR FOR A BIG DATE
TONIGHT, SOPHOMORE PARTY.
- CAN'T YOU WALK?
- NO.
SHE SAID, "BRING THE CAR."
- WELL, IT SEEMS TO ME THAT ANY
GIRL WHO REALLY CARES FOR YOU
WILL BE WILLING TO WALK.
IT'S ONLY A SHORT DISTANCE.
- MOM, THIS ISN'T JUST ANY GIRL.
THIS IS EDIE ELTON.
[canned laughter]
- EDIE ELTON?
- YEAH, EDIE ELTON.
- SO SHE DID IT, EH?
SHE HOOKED YOU.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
- WELL, I WAS AT
THE BEAUTY PARLOR
HAVING MY HAIR DONE WHEN...
OH, HOW DOES IT LOOK, MOTHER?
- WELL, IT LOOKS
NICE. I LIKE IT.
- WHEN WHAT?
- OH, WHEN EDIE AND
SOME OTHER GIRL CAME IN
TO BUY SOME WAVE SET, AND I
HEARD EDIE TALKING ABOUT YOU.
- WELL, NATURALLY.
I FOUND THAT SHE TALKS
ABOUT ME ALL THE TIME.
IN FACT,
THAT'S THE REASON HER AND
HER BOYFRIEND GEORGE BROKE UP.
HE GOT JEALOUS OF ME.
- JEALOUS?
OH, BUD, DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?
SHE TRAPPED YOU INTO THAT DATE.
- TRAPPED ME?
I STOOD ON THAT SIDEWALK
A GOOD HALF HOUR
TRYING TO TALK
HER INTO THAT DATE.
- IT WAS ALL MY IDEA.
- SURE.
SHE WORKED IT AROUND, SO
YOU'D THINK IT WAS YOUR IDEA.
- YEAH? THEN HOW COME SHE WAS
SO SURPRISED WHEN I ASKED HER?
[canned laughter]
- BROTHER.
- MOM, IF YOU JUST ADVANCE
ME NEXT WEEK'S ALLOWANCE.
- BUD, YOU KNOW VERY WELL
YOUR FATHER HAS PUT A STOP
TO ALL ADVANCED ALLOWANCES.
- YEAH, BUT MOM?
- DON'T LET HIM HAVE IT, MOTHER.
- NOW, WAIT JUST A MINUTE!
- HIS BROKEN FAN BELT
IS A BLESSING IN DISGUISE.
IT WILL KEEP YOU
FROM GETTING TAKEN
BY THAT SCHEMING LITTLE WENCH.
- IF YOU DON'T
MIND, SISTER DEAR,
I'D RATHER NOT HEAR ANY
MORE SLANDERING SLURS
ABOUT MY GIRLFRIEND.
- ALL RIGHT, ALL
RIGHT. GO AHEAD.
YOU DESERVE EXACTLY
WHAT YOU'RE GONNA GET.
- MOM, IF I PROMISE TO
PAY YOU RIGHT BACK...
- NO, BUD. WE'VE BEEN
ALL THROUGH THAT.
THE ANSWER IS NO.
- SAY, BETTY, REMEMBER WHEN
YOU WANTED TO BUY THAT UKULELE
AND I LOANED YOU
SOME MONEY, AND...
- OH, NO.
[canned laughter]
OH, I'M NOT GONNA
BE A PARTY TO THIS.
I'M NOT GONNA HAVE THE
SHEARING OF A STUPID LITTLE LAMB
ON MY CONSCIENCE.
[canned laughter]
- [breathes heavily]
OKAY, I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE
TO GO DOWN TO DAD'S OFFICE
AND TALK IT OVER WITH HIM.
I GUESS HE'S THE ONLY ONE
AROUND HERE THAT UNDERSTANDS.
- NO, I WOULDN'T GO DOWN
AND BOTHER YOUR
FATHER AT THE OFFICE.
- DAD SAID ANYTIME I HAD
ANYTHING REALLY IMPORTANT
TO TAKE UP WITH
HIM TO GO RIGHT...
- HOW ARE YOU GONNA GET DOWN
THERE IF YOUR CAR WON'T RUN?
- I STILL GOT MY BIKE. IT RUNS.
- WHY DON'T YOU JUST
RIDE EDIE TO THE PARTY
ON YOUR HANDLE BARS?
[canned laughter]
- BOY, AREN'T YOU FUNNY.
[canned laughter]
- NOT HALF SO FUNNY AS THE
RIDE SHE'S TAKING YOU FOR.
- BUD, I'D RATHER YOU DIDN'T
RIDE YOUR BIKE DOWN THERE
IN ALL THAT TRAFFIC.
I'M AFRAID SOMETHING
MIGHT HAPPEN.
- OH, NOTHING WILL HAP...
WHAT COULD HAPPEN?
I... I'VE RIDDEN MY BIKE
DOWNTOWN A MILLION TIMES BEFORE
AND NOTHING'S EVER HAPPENED.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
- YOU'VE JUST SEEN HIM
IGNORE A MOTHER'S WARNING
AND A SISTER'S SAGE ADVICE.
AND NOW YOU WILL SEE HIM TACKLE
THE OLD SOFT
TOUCH OF THE FAMILY.
[chuckles] YEAH, THAT'S ME.
BUT FATE HAS THIS RIGGED, TOO.
A MAN IS NO LONGER
A LOVABLE SOFT TOUCH
WHEN HIS SECRETARY'S
GONE HOME WITH A COLD
AND LEFT HIM SWAMPED WITH WORK.
- UH, DAD.
DAD.
- [sighs] HELLO, FRANK.
UH, FRANK, YOU BETTER
CALL BACK TOMORROW.
I'M SURE MY SECRETARY
WILL BE BACK BY THEN
AND SHE CAN FIND YOUR POLICY.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE
SHE HIDES THESE THINGS.
- BUT, DAD.
- ALL RIGHT, I'LL HAVE A LOOK,
BUT I DON'T THINK
I'LL BE ABLE TO FIND IT.
- HANG ON.
- SAY, DAD.
- WHAT BRINGS YOU
DOWN HERE, BUD?
- WELL, YOU SEE,
WHAT HAPPENED IS
I GOT THIS REAL COOL
DATE FOR TONIGHT.
- MILLER, MILLER, MILLER.
YOU'D THINK SHE
FILED IT UNDER M,
BUT NO, SHE'S GOT SOME
SECRET CODE OF HER OWN.
- LOOK, MY FAN BELT'S BROKE.
[canned laughter]
- WHY DID SHE PICK
OUT TODAY OF ALL DAYS
TO COME DOWN WITH A COLD?
THERE ARE 364 OTHER
DAYS IN THE YEAR.
WHAT DID YOU SAY
ABOUT YOUR FAN BELT?
- WELL, LOOK, IT'S BROKE.
- OH, WAIT, THIS MIGHT HELP.
[groans] [canned laughter]
- I NEED A NEW
ONE. I'VE ALREADY...
- NO, THIS IS NO GOOD.
- I NEED THE CAR
FOR A DATE TONIGHT.
- SO IF YOU'D JUST LOAN ME...
- OH, HERE'S SOMETHING. YEAH.
- IF YOU'D JUST LOAN ME ABOUT
3 BUCKS, I'LL GET OUT OF HERE
- AND STOP BOTHERING YOU.
- HELLO, FRANK.
I HAVE A LETTER HERE, WHICH
SAYS YOUR FAN BELT WAS...
I MEAN, YOUR POLICY WAS
SENT TO THE HOME OFFICE
FOR THE LOAN ENDORSEMENT,
SO EVERYTHING IS UNDER CONTROL.
YEAH, FINE.
OH! WHAT A DAY.
NOW, WHAT'S THIS
ABOUT YOUR FAN BELT?
- WELL, LOOK.
- WELL, THAT'S NO GOOD.
YOU BETTER GET
YOURSELF A NEW ONE.
- WELL, THAT'S WHAT
I WANT TO TELL YOU,
AND I NEED SOME MONEY.
- BUD, WE'LL TALK
ABOUT IT LATER.
I'M SO SWAMPED WITH WORK NOW.
- DAD, I... I GOTTA
HAVE IT RIGHT NOW.
- I GOT THIS BIG DATE TONIGHT.
- BUD, I DON'T HAVE TIME!
- DAD, LET'S SAY THAT, UH,
WHEN YOU WERE A YOUNG GUY,
A... ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU
GOT THIS DATE WITH, UH, SAY,
CLARA BOWE.
- CLARA BOWE?
- THEN YOUR FAN BELT SNAPPED.
- THAT WOULD HAVE
DONE IT ALL RIGHT.
- THAT'S JUST WHAT I'M IN.
- LOOK, SON, I'M SO
SWAMPED NOW AND...
OH, MY GOSH, I FORGOT
TO GO TO THE BANK TODAY.
BUD, DO ME A FAVOR, WILL YOU,
AND TAKE THESE DEPOSITS
DOWN TO THE BANK FOR ME?
- DAD, I HAVEN'T GOT THE TIME.
- IT WON'T TAKE YOU LONG.
THE SLIP IS ALL MADE OUT.
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS
HAND IT TO THE TELLER.
- WELL, IT'S PAST 3.
THE BANKS ARE CLOSED.
- NO, IT'S FRIDAY. THEY'RE
OPEN TILL 6 O' CLOCK.
HERE. MISS THOMAS
USUALLY DOES IT,
BUT SHE'S NOT HERE TODAY,
AND I CAN'T LEAVE RIGHT NOW.
- WELL, WELL.
- [sighs]
- I'LL MAKE YOU A DEAL.
- OH, ALL RIGHT. HOW MUCH?
- THREE BUCKS.
- 2.50.
- 2.75.
[canned laughter]
- SO NOW YOU HAVE SEEN THE
PART THE SECRETARY'S COLD
PLAYED IN THE
FASHIONING OF A HERO.
AND WE ARE READY
FOR THE FINAL LINK.
IT IS NOW EXACTLY
5:34 AND A HALF.
IN TWO AND A HALF MINUTES,
A HERO WILL BE BORN.
ONE OF THESE PEOPLE IS
PLANNING TO ROB THIS BANK.
CAN YOU PICK HIM OUT?
ACCORDING TO BUD, YOU
CAN TELL BY THE WAY HIS EYES
ARE SET IN HIS HEAD.
OH, NO, NOT HIM.
HE'S OUR PARK COMMISSIONER,
SINGS SECOND TENOR IN THE CHOIR.
[canned laughter]
ALL RIGHT, THE STAGE IS SET.
ENTER, OUR HERO.
OH, YES, HE STOPPED
TO BUY THE NEW FAN BELT.
IMPORTANT THINGS
COME FIRST. [canned laughter]
NOW, I WANT YOU TO WATCH
HOW OUR KEEN-EYED HERO
QUICKLY SPOTS THE HOLDUP MAN.
HOW HE TOYS WITH HIM.
HOW HE WATCHES
HIM... GIMLET-EYED.
- MAN, MAN, I WISH
THEY'D MOVE THIS LINE.
OH, I GOTTA GET OUTTA
HERE PRETTY PRONTO.
[canned laughter]
- THANK YOU.
HELLO THERE. HOW ARE YOU TODAY?
THANK YOU.
HELLO THERE. HOW ARE YOU TODAY?
- OKAY.
- WHAT DOES THIS SAY?
HOLD-UP? OH.
[thuds]
[alarm blaring]
- [woman screams]
- DON'T LET HIM GET
AWAY! GET HIM, GET HIM!
- GOOD WORK, SON!
THAT'S USING THE OL' HEAD.
- OH, HONEY, YOU WERE
WONDERFUL, JUST WONDERFUL!
- AND SO IT HAPPENED.
IT WAS ALL OVER
IN A FEW SECONDS.
NINE, IN FACT.
NINE SECONDS TO MAKE A HERO.
"QUICK THINKING ON YOUNG BUD
ANDERSON'S PART," IT SAYS HERE.
"QUICK THINKING
AND BOLD COURAGE."
NOW THESE ARE PHRASES CALCULATED
TO SWELL THE HEART OF
ANY FATHER WITH PRIDE.
THE EYEWITNESS ACCOUNTS HERE
ARE DIFFERENT
QUITE A BIT IN DETAILS,
BUT THEY ALL TESTIFIED
OF BUD'S BRAVERY
AND BOLDLY TACKLING
AN ARMED MAN.
UH, INCIDENTALLY, THE GUN TURNED
OUT TO BE JUST A PLASTIC TOY,
BUT WHO KNEW THAT AT THE TIME?
[canned laughter]
YES, IT'S A FINE
STORY OF HEROISM.
BUT WAIT. [chuckles]
THE STORY'S NOT OVER YET.
THE MOST IMPORTANT
PART IS YET TO COME.
TO TELL IT, WE MUST
GO BACK TO, UH,
TO WHERE YOU CAME IN.
OR RATHER WHERE REVEREND
SWAYNE HAD JUST COME IN
- I WAS JUST READING IN THE
PAPER ABOUT THAT BOY OF YOURS
AND I DROPPED BY TO
CONGRATULATE HIM.
- OH, THAT'S VERY
THOUGHTFUL OF YOU.
I MUST SAY, THIS HAS
BEEN QUITE A DAY FOR HIM.
BUD, WOULD YOU COME OVER
HERE A MINUTE HERE, PLEASE?
- SURE, MOM.
YOU GUYS WAIT HERE,
HUH? MY PUBLIC'S CALLING.
- I HAVE A PROPOSITION
I WANNA PUT TO BUD.
YOU SEE, UH, NEXT FRIDAY...
OH, HERE'S OUR BOY.
BUD, I WANT TO COMMEND YOU
ON A FINE PIECE OF BRAVERY.
- WELL, THANK YOU, SIR.
- YES, SIR.
QUICK THINKING.
COURAGE.
VERY, VERY GOOD.
IN FACT, I'M HOPING
THAT I CAN GET YOU
TO TELL THIS WHOLE EXCITING
STORY AT THE CHURCH.
- A... AT THE CHURCH?
- WELL, REVEREND
SWAYNE, HELLO THERE.
- HELLO, JIM.
I WAS JUST TRYING TO
PERSUADE YOUR SON
TO GIVE A TALK AT THE
CHURCH, FRIDAY NIGHT.
- OH.
[laughing]
- THAT'S OUR BIG
YOUTH RALLY, YOU KNOW.
- WELL, FINE.
- I CAN ASSURE YOU
THAT YOU WILL HAVE
A LARGE FASCINATED
AUDIENCE, BUD.
THEY'LL ALL BE ANXIOUS
TO HEAR A FIRSTHAND
ACCOUNT OF YOUR HEROISM.
- YOU MEAN, TELL WHAT
HAPPENED AT THE BANK?
- YES, AND THEN WORK IT
INTO A GOOD INSPIRATIONAL
MESSAGE ON COURAGE.
- N... NO, I DON'T THINK
I'M THE ONE FOR THAT.
- OH, YES, YOU ARE, BUD.
YOU SHOULDN'T TURN
DOWN THINGS LIKE THIS.
- OH, NO, I... I...
- [laughing] THAT'S
A HERO FOR YOU.
HE CAN FACE AN ARMED MAN,
BUT TREMBLES AT THE
THOUGHT OF FACING AN AUDIENCE.
- OH, YOU'LL GET OVER THAT, BUD,
THE MINUTE YOU START TALKING.
EVERYONE THERE WILL BE EAGER
TO HEAR EVERY WORD YOU SAY.
- NO, DAD, I DON'T THINK
I'M THE ONE TO DO IT.
- OH, BUD, DON'T BE SO MODEST.
- NO, I HAVEN'T SEEN
ANY SIGNS OF YOU
BEING A SHRINKING VIOLET,
WHY THE SUDDEN CHANGE?
- HE'LL DO IT.
- DAD.
- I'LL HAVE HIM DRAW UP A
ROUGH DRAFT OF HIS TALK
- AND BRING IT DOWN TO YOU.
- NO DAD, I CAN'T DO IT.
- BUD, WHAT'S THE
MATTER WITH YOU?
- WELL, I... I JUST CAN'T DO
IT, N... NOT IN THE CHURCH.
- WH... WHAT'S THE
CHURCH GOT TO DO WITH IT?
- WELL...
IT'S...
OH, GOSH.
THANKS ANYWAY FOR ASKING ME.
- BUD, COME BACK HERE.
I'D LIKE AN EXPLANATION OF THIS.
- DAD, I... I CAN'T EXPLAIN,
NOT IN FRONT OF
GANG OF YARD DOGS.
THEY'D RAG ME TO DEATH.
- ABOUT WHAT?
- WELL, W... WAIT JUST A MINUTE.
SEE, YOU GUYS BETTER
ROLL ALONG NOW,
I... I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.
- GOOD NIGHT, MR. ANDERSON.
- GOOD NIGHT. GOOD NIGHT, BOYS.
- GOOD NIGHT, MR. ANDERSON.
- GOOD NIGHT.
- SAY, WAIT JUST A
MINUTE, COME ON BACK!
COME ON BACK, YOU GUYS.
YOU MIGHT AS WELL
HEAR THIS, TOO.
YOU'RE GONNA FIND
ABOUT IT ANYWAY,
SO YOU MIGHT AS
WELL HEAR IT FROM ME.
THINK WHAT YOU WANT
ABOUT ME, I GOT IT COMING.
UH, I'M NO MORE A
HERO THAN BUGS BUNNY.
I HAVEN'T BEEN TELLING
THE TRUTH ABOUT THIS THING.
THAT'S WHY I COULDN'T
TELL THIS IN THE CHURCH.
YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENED?
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED.
I NEVER TACKLED THAT GUY.
I WASN'T BRAVE.
I DIDN'T DO ANY QUICK THINKING.
I WAS JUST SO DOGGONE SCARED,
SO LILY-LIVERED
SCARED I... FAINTED.
JUST LIKE A GIRL.
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HAPPENED
TILL SOMEBODY PICKED ME UP
AND... TOLD ME HOW GREAT I WAS.
THAT'S IT.
- LET'S GO, GUYS.
- UH, JUST A MINUTE, BOYS.
DON'T LEAVE YET.
I DON'T THINK YOU QUITE
UNDERSTOOD WHAT YOU JUST HEARD.
ALL YOU UNDERSTOOD WAS
THAT A BOY DIDN'T
COMMIT AN ACT OF COURAGE
THAT HE WAS GIVEN CREDIT FOR.
YOU KNOW THERE'S MORE
THAN ONE KIND OF COURAGE
AND IT TAKES A GOOD
DEAL STRONGER KIND
TO STAND UP IN FRONT
OF YOUR FELLOWMEN
AND TELL THE TRUTH
ABOUT YOURSELF
THAN IT DOES TO CAPTURE
SIX BANK ROBBERS.
THAT'S MY KIND OF COURAGE.
NOW, BUD, HERE'S
HOW WE'LL OUTLINE
YOUR TALK FOR FRIDAY NIGHT.
WITH THIS NEW ANGLE, WE'LL
HAVE A HUMDINGER OF A SPEECH.
[canned laughter]
- YOU KNOW, I NEVER DID THINK
OLD BUD TACKLED
THAT OLD BURGLAR.
- NO, ME EITHER.
- ACTUALLY, OL'
BUD'S NOT A BAD GUY.
- [chuckling]
BUT ACTUALLY OL'
BUD AIN'T A BAD GUY.
NOT MUCH OF AN ENDING
FOR THIS STORY OF A HERO,
WELL, THAT IS FORMER HERO.
BUT JUST BETWEEN YOU AND ME,
I MUCH PREFER HAVING ONE OL' BUD
AROUND THE HOUSE
TO A HUNDRED HEROES,
BECAUSE,
WELL,
ACTUALLY,
[sighs]
OLD BUD AIN'T A BAD GUY.
[canned laughter]
[applause]
[theme music]