Father Knows Best (1954–1960): Season 3, Episode 26 - Bud Buys a Car - full transcript
Bud buys a used jalopy with his father's approval but over his mother's objection.
♪ ♪
Narrator: ROBERT YOUNG...
♪ ♪
AND JANE WYATT.
- [laughter]
WITH ELINOR DONAHUE, BILLY
GRAY, AND LAUREN CHAPIN...
IN FATHER KNOWS BEST.
- WELL, AS FAR AS I KNOW,
WE'RE FREE TOMORROW NIGHT.
OH, I'M QUITE SURE JIM
HAS NOTHING PLANNED.
OH, IT SOUNDS LIKE A LOT OF FUN.
CAN WE BRING ANYTHING?
- EH, MOM.
- ALL RIGHT, RUTH,
WE WILL BE THERE.
[canned laughter] ABOUT 6?
- MOM, I...
- THANKS FOR ASKING US. GOODBYE.
- MOM, I'VE GOT
SOMETHING TO TELL YOU.
- WELL, I ASSUME IT'S MUCH THE
WAY YOU'VE BEEN WALTZING AROUND.
- LOOK, I JUST CAME FROM
DOUG HARTLEY'S HOUSE.
YOU KNOW WHO DOUG
HARTLEY IS, DON'T YOU?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- YOUR SLEEVE WAS TURNED UP.
[canned laughter]
- NOW WAIT, MOM, I WAS
TELLING YOU SOMETHIN'.
- WELL, TELL ME IN THE KITCHEN.
I HAVE CAKES IN THE OVEN.
[canned laughter]
- LIKE I WAS SAYING,
I WAS TALKING TO DOUG
HARTLEY TODAY AT SCHOOL,
AND HE WAS TELLING ME THAT...
- BUD, WILL YOU HAND
ME A TOOTHPICK?
- MOM, ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?
- UH-HMM. I'M LISTENING.
- WELL, YOU WON'T
BELIEVE THIS. IT'S FANTASTIC.
BUT DOUG HAS THIS CAR,
AND IT'S IN REAL GOOD SHAPE,
GOOD TIRES AND EVERYTHING,
AND HE WANTS TO SELL IT.
DID YOU HEAR THAT, MOM?
HE SAID HE WANTS TO SELL IT.
[canned laughter]
- I HEARD YOU.
- WELL, GUESS HOW MUCH
HE WANTS FOR IT. JUST GUESS.
- BUD, IF ALL THIS IS LEADING
UP TO YOUR BUYING THE CAR,
I'LL TELL YOU, I'M NOT
IN FAVOR OF THE IDEA.
- BUT I CAN GET IT FOR
JUST $10, JUST 10 BUCKS.
- HI, MOMMY. ARE
THOSE CAKES FOR ME?
- YUP. THESE ARE YOURS.
OH, BE CAREFUL, THEY'RE HOT.
- IT'S A STEAL, MOM.
WHY, FOR SCRAP IRONS
IT'S WORTH AT LEAST 25.
- THE LITTLE SQUIRES
ARE HAVING A BAKERY SALE,
AND I'M GONNA TAKE
THESE TWO CAKES.
- LOOK, TERMITE,
I'M TALKING TO MOM.
NOW CUT OUT. LAY A
PATCH. BURN SOME RUBBER.
[canned laughter]
- GO BURN SOME RUBBER YOURSELF.
I HAVE AS MUCH RIGHT TO
TALK TO MOMMY AS YOU HAVE.
BESIDES, I'M A GIRL
AND SHE'D RATHER TALK TO
ME THAN YOU ANYWAY. SO, HAH!
[canned laughter]
- HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.
- I...
- BREAK IT UP.
- I WAS HERE FIRST,
HOW COME SHE...
- HI, MOTHER.
IT'S MY DRESS.
- OH, LET ME SEE IT.
OH, IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
- I WAS TELLING YOU...
- DID YOU MAKE IT YOURSELF?
- I WAS...
- OH, MOST OF IT.
MRS. CULVER DID THE RUFFLES.
- OH.
- I WAS TALKING TO YOU
ABOUT THE CAR, MOM.
- WELL, IT'S AS PRETTY AS
ANYTHING YOU'D BUY IN A STORE.
- YOU SEE WHERE I PUT THE
DARTS HERE ON THE BODICE?
OOH, WHAT A JOB.
- YOU KNOW WHAT YOU OUGHT
- TO WEAR WITH THIS?
- NO.
- THAT BLACK BELT WITH
THE RHINESTONE BUCKLE.
- OH.
- IF I TOLD THEM THE CAR
HAVE RUFFLE SEAT COVERS,
AND A RHINESTONE
FAN BELT, THEY'D LOVE IT.
[canned laughter]
- IS FATHER HOME?
- NO! BUT JUST REMEMBER THIS,
WHEN HE GETS HOME,
I'M TALKING TO HIM FIRST.
GOT THAT? I'M FIRST!
[canned laughter]
[car engine rumbles]
- SAY, DAD, CAN I TALK
TO YOU FOR A MINUTE?
[engine idles and stops]
HI, DAD. [car door slams]
- HELLO, BUD.
- SAY, CAN I TALK TO YOU
ALONE, JUST YOU AND ME?
- WELL, SURE. NOTHING
WRONG, IS THERE?
- NO. BUT I JUST
WANNA TALK TO YOU
WITHOUT BETTY OR
KATHY BUTTING IN.
SEEMS EVERY TIME I
TRY AND SAY SOMETHING,
I GET HIT IN THE FACE
WITH A PETTICOAT.
[canned laughter]
- UH, IT'S A TOUGH LIFE,
SON. BUT I'M WITH YOU.
- WELL, I WAS TALKING TO DOUG
HARTLEY TODAY AT SCHOOL...
- HI, HONEY.
- OH, HELLO, DEAR.
HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
- OH, THE USUAL.
- [chuckles]
- OH, RUTH CLARK PHONED.
THEY'RE GIVING A DINNER
PARTY TOMORROW NIGHT.
THEY'D LIKE US TO COME.
- GOOD, TELL THEM
WE'LL BE THERE.
- MOMMY, THE FROSTING'S BOILING!
- OH, DEAR. EXCUSE ME.
- [chuckles]
- OH. NOW, AS YOU WERE SAYING?
- WELL, DOUG HARTLEY,
HE'S A GUY AT SCHOOL,
LIVES RIGHT DOWN THE BLOCK,
HE'S GOT THIS CAR, AND,
DAD, YOU OUGHT TO SEE IT.
IT'S ABSOLUTELY
IN PERFECT SHAPE.
IT'S GOT EVERYTHING ON IT...
WHEELS, FENDERS,
HEADLIGHTS. [canned laughter]
EVERYTHING.
RADIALS JUST RELINED.
THE RADIATOR IS JUST LIKE
NEW, BARELY LEAKS AT ALL,
AND THE TIRES ARE
IN REAL GOOD SHAPE,
THEY STILL GOT TREAD ON 'EM.
IT'S A SENSATIONAL CAR, DAD,
AND DOUG WANTS TO SELL IT.
HE'LL LET ME HAVE
IT FOR JUST 10 BUCKS.
[canned laughter]
- A CAR FOR $10?
- SURE. AND HE'S GONNA
THROW IN A SPARE FRONT AXLE
AND A COMPLETE SET OF ROAD
MAPS OF NORTHERN CANADA.
[canned laughter]
- [chuckles]
- I MEAN, WHAT DO YOU
THINK OF THE IDEA, DAD?
- WELL, I DON'T KNOW, BUD.
LET'S, UH, THINK ABOUT IT.
- BUT I'VE GOT TO LET HIM KNOW.
HE'S GOT FIVE GUYS
THAT WANNA BUY IT,
AND IT'S NOT GONNA
COST YOU ANYTHING.
I'VE GOT THE MONEY.
I'M PAYING FOR IT MYSELF.
- WELL, IT'S NOT
JUST THE MONEY, BUD.
- WELL, THEN, WHAT'S
THE PROBLEM, DAD?
I'VE GOT MY JUNIOR
OPERATOR'S LICENSE.
I'M LEGAL.
- I KNOW, BUT...
- DAD... I WANT THIS CAR MORE
THAN I'VE EVER WANTED ANYTHING
IN MY WHOLE LIFE.
DON'T YOU REMEMBER HOW MUCH
YOU WANTED YOUR FIRST CAR?
DON'T YOU REMEMBER?
- YES, I REMEMBER.
[chuckles]
IT WAS AN OLD MODEL T.
I PAID $5 FOR IT.
- BET YOU WERE SURE
HAPPY WHEN YOU GOT IT, HUH?
- YEAH, I GUESS I WAS.
I REMEMBER THE FIRST
TIME I GOT IT RUNNING.
TSK.
IT DIDN'T HAVE AN
ELECTRIC STARTER.
I HAD TO HAND-CRANK IT.
OH, THAT ENGINE HAD THE
SWEETEST SOUND I'VE EVER HEARD,
FOUR CYLINDERS.
[chuckles]
DIDN'T HAVE A GEARSHIFT,
WE USED TO WORK IT WITH
FOOT PEDALS ON THE FLOOR.
PLANETARY
TRANSMISSION, THEY CALL IT.
[laughs]
OH, HOW I LOVED THAT OLD CAR.
TSK, TSK.
I REMEMBER I HAD A BIG
ARGUMENT WITH MY FATHER ABOUT IT.
I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND WHY
HE WOULDN'T LET ME SLEEP IN IT.
[canned laughter]
[chuckles]
UH, I TELL YOU, THERE'S
NOTHING AS GREAT AS...
UH, BUT THINGS WERE
QUITE DIFFERENT THEN.
[canned laughter]
THERE WEREN'T SO
MANY CARS ON THE ROAD.
PEOPLE DIDN'T
DRIVE AS FAST THEN.
TIMES HAVE CHANGED CONSIDERABLY.
UH, YOU'D HAVE TO
BE AWFULLY CAREFUL
IF YOU WERE TO GO
AND GET YOUR OWN CAR.
- WELL, I'M CAREFUL, DAD.
YOU KNOW I'M CAREFUL.
WELL, I GOT A REAL
HIGH GRADE IN THE TEST
FOR MY DRIVER'S
LICENSE, REMEMBER?
AND YOU'VE RIDDEN WITH ME
WHEN I WAS DRIVING YOUR CAR.
YOU KNOW, HOW GOOD I CAN DRIVE.
- BUT YOU'D HAVE TO BE ON
YOUR TOES EVERY SECOND.
NO GOOFING AROUND,
NO HOT-ROD STUFF.
- I KNOW, DAD, I KNOW.
- NO... NO SHOWING OFF.
NO BEING A CUTE KID.
NOW THIS YOU'D HAVE TO
PROMISE ME SOLEMNLY, MAN TO MAN.
- I PROMISE, DAD.
I GIVE YOU MY WORD, HONEST.
- [grunts]
YEAH, I GUESS YOU
CAN HAVE THE CAR.
- YAHOO!
- WHAT HAPPENED?
[canned laughter]
- I'M GETTING IT!
I'M GETTING IT!
DAD SAID I CAN HAVE THE CAR!
- OH! NOW, WAIT A MINUTE.
THERE'S SOMETHING SNEAKY
GOING ON AROUND HERE.
- WELL, HONEY, WHAT'S WRONG
WITH BUD HAVING A LITTLE CAR?
HE HAS HIS LICENSE.
- THE MAIN THING THAT'S WRONG
IS THAT HE ASKED
ME TEN MINUTES AGO,
AND I SAID I WAS AGAINST IT.
I'M ASHAMED OF YOU, BUD.
AFTER I SAID NO, COMING RIGHT
IN HERE AND ASKING YOUR FATHER.
- I DIDN'T ASK HIM IF I
COULD HAVE THE CAR.
I JUST ASK HIM WHAT
HE THOUGHT OF THE IDEA,
SAME AS I ASKED YOU.
[canned laughter]
- WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU
DISCUSSED THIS WITH YOUR MOTHER?
- WELL, YOU DIDN'T ASK ME.
BESIDES, WE DIDN'T DISCUSS IT.
I COULDN'T.
MOM WAS SO BUSY WITH KATHY'S
CAKES AND BETTY'S DRESSES,
I COULDN'T GET A
WORD IN EDGEWISE.
[canned laughter]
- BUD?
- NO KIDDING, DAD.
WHEN YOU'RE NOT AROUND,
I'M A LOST SOUL HOLLERING
IN THE WILDERNESS.
IS IT FAIR TO JUST
SAY NO TO A GUY
WITHOUT EVEN GIVING HIM A
CHANCE TO DEFEND HIMSELF?
DO YOU SEND A MAN TO
THE EXECUTION CHAMBER
WITHOUT EVEN GIVING HIM A TRIAL?
[canned laughter]
- OH, STOP DRAMATIZING.
- WELL, I WISH
SOMEBODY HAD TOLD ME
WHO WOULD TALK TO
WHOM ABOUT THIS CAR.
THIS PUTS ME
RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE.
I'VE ALREADY TOLD
BUD HE COULD HAVE IT,
AND THEN HERE YOU
TOLD HIM HE COULDN'T.
- WELL, IT'S NOT MY FAULT.
I DIDN'T ASK ANYBODY
IF I COULD HAVE THE CAR.
I JUST SAID, WHAT DO
YOU THINK OF THE IDEA?
WELL?
IF YOUR FATHER TOLD
YOU YOU COULD HAVE IT,
I'M NOT GONNA SAY YOU CAN'T.
[chuckles] YOU KNOW MORE
ABOUT THESE THINGS THAN I DO.
I'M GONNA LEAVE IT
STRICTLY TO THE TWO OF YOU.
- WELL, CAN I GO TELL
DOUG IT'S A DEAL?
- YES, GO ON.
- OH!
OH, YOU'RE NOT
SORE, ARE YOU, MOM?
- I'M NOT EXACTLY
BUBBLING WITH JOY.
[canned laughter]
- WAIT TILL YOU SEE THE CAR.
WAIT TILL I TAKE
YOU FOR A RIDE IN IT.
YOU'LL FALL IN LOVE WITH IT.
WON'T SHE, DAD?
- BUD, DON'T ASK ME FOR ANY
MORE OPINIONS RIGHT NOW.
JUST GO. [canned laughter]
- OH. BE BACK IN A SHAKE.
- [sighs]
JIM, WHY DID YOU LET
HIM TALK YOU INTO IT?
- WELL, LOOK, HONEY.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND HOW
MUCH THIS MEANS TO BUD.
- HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO BUD?
IT'S HOW MUCH THIS
SILLY CAR MEANS TO YOU.
WELL, HE KNOWS YOUR WEAKNESSES.
HE KNOWS EXACTLY
HOW TO GET AROUND YOU.
I'LL BET ANYTHING, HE SAID,
"REMEMBER YOUR FIRST CAR, DAD?"
[canned laughter]
THEN HE GOT YOU STARTED
ON THAT OLD MODEL T OF
YOURS YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
NOW, DIDN'T HE?
- HE DIDN'T GET ME STARTED.
- FOR THAT MATTER, I UNDERSTAND
HOW MUCH HE WANTS A CAR.
IT'S SIMPLY THAT I
FEEL IT'S TOO SOON.
HE'S... HE'S TOO YOUNG.
- TOO YOUNG?
I WAS DELIVERING FEED FOR
HOTMYER'S HAY AND GRAIN
WITH A TRUCK WHEN I WAS 14.
BUD'S GOING ON 16.
- HE'S STILL A LITTLE BOY.
HE'S FORGETFUL, HE'S CARELESS.
- OH, MARGARET, STOP
TALKING LIKE A MOTHER.
WHEN HE TOOK HIS DRIVING
TEST FOR HIS LICENSE,
THE MAN WHO RODE WITH HIM
SAID HE WAS VERY CAREFUL.
- THAT MAN DOESN'T HAVE TO
CLEAN UP HIS ROOM EVERYDAY.
- AND WHAT ABOUT BETTY'S ROOM?
WHEN SHE FLIES OUT OF
THERE IN THE MORNING,
IT LOOKS LIKE HURRICANE ETHEL
HIT THE LAUNDRY... NYLON JUNGLE,
BUT THERE'S NO
OBJECTION TO HER DRIVING.
- I'VE SAID ALL I'M GOING
TO SAY ON THE SUBJECT.
HE'S YOUR SON.
IF YOU WANT HIM TO
HAVE A CAR, ALL RIGHT.
BUT THIS IS BETWEEN YOU AND BUD.
YOU BOTH KNOW
HOW I FEEL ABOUT IT,
AND THAT'S WHERE IT STANDS.
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- GET LOST, YOU MELON HEAD!
- YEAH?
- YEAH!
- WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?
- OH, I GOT IN A FIGHT.
- A FIGHT?
- YEAH, WITH DOOKY AND EARL.
BUT I WON.
YOU SEE, WE FOUND SOME BOARDS,
AND I WANTED TO
BUILD AN ORPHANAGE,
AND THEY WANTED TO
BUILD AN AIRCRAFT CARRIER.
SOMETIMES BOYS JUST
DON'T UNDERSTAND GIRLS.
- UH-HMM, SOMETIMES GIRLS
DON'T UNDERSTAND BOYS.
- WELL, IT'S ALL SET, DAD.
I MADE THE DEAL, I GOT IT.
- WELL, IT DIDN'T
TAKE YOU VERY LONG.
DID YOU BRING IT HOME WITH YOU?
- NO, DOUG HAD TO GATHER
UP SOME PAPERS ON IT.
I'M TAKING DELIVERY
IN THE MORNING.
- WELL, I GOTTA TELL MOM.
- WAIT, UH...
YOUR MOTHER'S A
LITTLE COOL ON THIS IDEA.
IT MIGHT BE BETTER IF YOU DON'T
SAY TOO MUCH ABOUT IT TONIGHT.
- YEAH, MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.
- [chuckles]
- WELL, TOMORROW'S
THE DAY, HUH, DAD?
- [chuckles]
ARE YOU TAKING IT APART ALREADY?
- I GUESS I'D BETTER WASH UP.
- WELL, WHERE DID EVERYONE GO?
- OH, DADDY AND
BUD WENT UPSTAIRS.
THEY WERE TALKING
ABOUT SOMETHING,
BUT I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND IT.
- WELL, WHAT?
- WELL, THEY SAID YOU WERE COOL,
AND DOUG HAS A
DEAL SET UP FOR BUD
TO DELIVER PAPERS
IN THE MORNING,
BUT THEY'RE NOT GONNA
TALK MUCH ABOUT IT TONIGHT,
BECAUSE TOMORROW'S THE DAY.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT?
- HM, I HAVE A VAGUE IDEA.
- SOMETIMES, I HATE BOYS.
HUH, IS DADDY A BOY?
- SOMETIMES.
[canned laughter]
[alarm clock ringing]
[canned laughter]
[canned laughter]
[canned laughter]
- BUD, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING IN HERE?
- GETTING DRESSED.
- AT 6:30 IN THE MORNING?
- YEAH, I'LL PICK
UP MY CAR TODAY.
- OH, WHAT HAPPENED?
- NOTHING.
- I THOUGHT AN
AVALANCHE HAD HIT US.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP SO EARLY?
- GETTING DRESSED, I'M
GONNA PICK UP MY CAR.
- NOW?
- WELL, AFTER BREAKFAST.
- OH.
- BUD, WE DON'T HAVE
BREAKFAST FOR AN HOUR.
GO BACK TO BED.
- MOM, I GOTTA BE READY.
- [sighs] ALL RIGHT.
IF YOU'RE GOING TO STAY UP
YOU CAN... YOU CAN
RAKE THE FRONT YARD,
SWEEP THE DRIVEWAY,
AND... AND BURN THE TRASH.
- OKAY, I'LL GO BACK TO BED.
[canned laughter]
- MARGARET, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING UP SO EARLY?
- I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING.
- YOU'RE UP SO EARLY,
MOMMY. WHAT'S GOING ON?
- [sighs]
WELL, AS... AS LONG
AS WE'RE ALL UP,
WE MIGHT AS WELL GET
READY FOR BREAKFAST.
WHY ARE WE STARTING SO EARLY?
- WHY?
BECAUSE THIS IS CAR DAY!
[canned laughter]
- SLOW DOWN, BUD.
- I GOTTA HURRY, DAD.
I TOLD DOUG I'D BE OVER
RIGHT AFTER BREAKFAST
TO PICK UP THE CAR.
- CAN I HAVE THE
FIRST RIDE IN IT?
- NO. MOM AND DAD
GET THE FIRST RIDE.
- OH, LUCKY YOU.
- WELL, EXCUSE ME.
- OH, UH, BUD, BEFORE YOU
GO, DO ME A FAVOR, WILL YOU?
- WHAT, DAD?
- DON'T DRIVE THE
CAR TILL I GET HOME.
I'D LIKE TO CHECK IT OVER FIRST.
- OH, SURE.
BUT YOU WON'T FIND
ANYTHING WRONG WITH IT.
IT'S IN REAL GREAT SHAPE.
WELL, SEE YOU LATER.
[canned laughter]
- [sighs]
AREN'T YOU GONNA BE HERE TODAY,
WITH ALL THIS CAR
BUSINESS GOING ON?
IT'S NOT MY
DEPARTMENT, YOU KNOW?
- I'LL BE HOME AS SOON AS I CAN.
I'M LEAVING OUR CAR
HERE IF YOU'D LIKE TO USE IT.
GEORGE NEWMAN'S PICKING ME UP.
WE'RE GOING TO DRIVE OFF
AND HAVE A LOOK AT HIS FAST RIG.
- THIS PLACE WILL PROBABLY
LOOK LIKE A JUNKYARD
WHEN YOU GET HOME IN OLD
HEAPS SCATTERED ALL OVER.
- PRINCESS, LET'S, UH, GIVE
JUST A LITTLE FOR BUD, HMM?
I KNOW IT ISN'T EASY FOR
YOU TO GENERATE ENTHUSIASM
FOR A GREASY OLD CAR,
BUT JUST TRY TO
REMEMBER THAT THIS HEAP,
NO MATTER HOW MISERABLE
IT MAY LOOK TO YOU,
IS A THING OF RARE
BEAUTY TO BUD.
WE'LL GO ALONG WITH HIM.
LET HIM HAVE HIS MOMENT.
[car honking]
- YES, FATHER.
- OH, THERE'S GEORGE.
- GOODBYE, DEAR.
NOW DON'T FORGET WE'RE GOING
TO THE CLARKS FOR DINNER TONIGHT.
- BE HOME IN TIME TO DRESS.
- WILL DO, GOODBYE.
- WELL, I'M GOING OUTSIDE AND
WATCH FOR BUD AND HIS CAR.
- MOTHER, W... WHAT
IS IT ABOUT MEN
THAT MAKES THEM LIKE
EVERYTHING THAT'S DIRTY AND GRIMY?
- I DON'T KNOW.
I'VE OFTEN WONDERED.
- THEY ADORE
GREASY, OLD ENGINES,
SMELLY OLD PIPES, SLIMY FISH.
IT SEEMS A MAN'S MOST
CHERISHED AMBITION IS TO BE A PIG.
- WELL, IT'S CLOSE
TO WHAT YOU SAY,
BUT, UH, I WOULDN'T
SAY IT TOO LOUD.
- COME ON, PUSH!
- UGH!
- KEEP HER STRAIGHT.
- I'M STEERING.
- UGH. OH, PUT ON YOUR
PINKY MAKE-UP, BUD.
[canned laughter]
- OKAY. THAT'S FAR ENOUGH.
[squeaking]
OH, HERE SHE IS, MOM.
ISN'T SHE A BEAUTY?
- OH, IT'S QUITE A CAR.
- IT'S A WONDERFUL CAR.
WE HAD TO PUSH HER ABOUT A
HALF A BLOCK FROM DOUG'S HOUSE.
IT PUSHES REAL
EASY. Çcanned laughterÑ
- THAT'LL GET KIND OF TIRESOME
ON LONG TRIPS, WON'T IT?
- OH, IT RUNS OKAY.
IT JUST DOESN'T HAPPEN
TO BE RUNNING RIGHT NOW.
- OH, I SEE.
- OH, THERE'S SOME OLD THING
WRONG WITH HER RIGHT NOW.
A WIRE LOOSE OR SOMETHING.
OH, I CAN FIX IT IN A MINUTE.
JUST LOOK AT THE WHOLE
CAR, THOUGH. ISN'T IT GREAT?
LOOK AT THESE TIRES, BRAND-NEW
RETREADS, PRACTICALLY.
BODY'S SOLID AS A ROCK.
[clangs] [canned laughter]
WELL, HERE'S SOMETHING YOU
DON'T SEE IN THE NEWER CARS.
LOOK AT THIS UPHOLSTERY.
THAT'S REAL FLOOR CARPETING,
BROADLOOM, WEAR LIKE IRON.
[canned laughter]
- OH, AND THIS IS DOUG.
- HELLO.
- HELLO, DOUG.
- HI.
- WELL, I GOTTA BE
GOING. I... I'LL SEE YOU, BUD.
- YEAH, I'LL SEE YOU, DOUG.
OH, THE NEXT TIME YOU COME
OVER, BRING OVER THE WINDSHIELD.
[canned laughter]
- OKAY.
- OH, WAIT, MOM.
YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE ENGINE YET.
WAIT TILL YOU SEE THE
MOTOR IN THIS OLD BEAUTY.
[hood clanking]
[canned laughter]
I GUESS THE HOOD'S
A LITTLE LOOSE.
BUT YOU CAN SEE THE ENGINE.
IT'S GOT A MIDDLE
HEAD, HIGH LIFT CAM.
HEY, DON'T GET YOUR
FEET ON THE UPHOLSTERY.
- OKAY, OKAY.
- HEY, MOM...
AREN'T YOU INTERESTED
IN MY CAR AT ALL?
- OH, BUD, I... I UNDERSTAND
NOTHING ABOUT ENGINES,
AND I'VE GOT SO MUCH
TO DO IN THE HOUSE.
- YEAH, OKAY.
- OH, UH, TRY NOT GET
YOUR CLOTHES TOO DIRTY.
- COME ON, BUD, SEE IF YOU
CAN GET THE ENGINE STARTED.
LET'S TAKE A RIDE.
- OH, I CAN'T DRIVE
UNTIL DAD GETS HOME.
- WELL, LET'S SEE IF YOU
CAN GET THE ENGINE STARTED.
- UGH.
[engine rumbling]
- THE STARTER SURE SOUNDS NICE.
- THANKS.
WELL, I BETTER
GET TO WORK ON IT.
- CAN I HELP YOU?
- I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE.
[bangs] [clangs]
[canned laughter]
[comical music]
♪ ♪
- HEY, YOU GOT THREE LEGS!
[canned laughter]
♪ ♪
[canned laughter]
- HEY, GET AWAY WITH
THOSE GREASY CLOTHES.
- DO YOU KNOW
WHERE THERE'S A WIRE?
- A WIRE?
- YEAH, JUST A WIRE.
- NOW, THAT'S A SILLY QUESTION.
HOW WOULD I KNOW
WHERE THERE'S A WIRE?
WILL YOU PLEASE BE CAREFUL?
BUD, I HAVE TO
WEAR THIS TONIGHT.
- WHERE'S MOM?
- UPSTAIRS.
- HEY, MOM.
- HEY, MOM.
[canned laughter]
[canned laughter]
- OH, BUD! FOR HEAVEN'S
SAKE, WHAT DO YOU WANT?
- I THINK I FOUND OUT
WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY CAR.
THE ROD THAT ADVANCES AND
RETARDS THE SPARK IS BROKEN.
DO WE HAVE A LONG PIECE OF WIRE?
- BUD, I DON'T KNOW IF
WE HAVE ANY WIRE OR NOT.
WOULDN'T BE UP HERE ANYWAY.
BE IN THE GARAGE.
WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING?
- I'VE BEEN WORKING
UNDER THE CAR AND...
- WHY ARE YOU SORE AT ME, MOM?
- NO, I'M NOT.
IT'S... IT'S JUST THAT...
[sighs]
BUD, COULDN'T YOU HAVE
BOUGHT A CAR THAT WAS CLEAN
AND WOULD RUN INSTEAD OF
HAVING TO GO THROUGH THIS... THIS...
[sighs]
- GOSH.
WORKING ON IT IS HALF THE FUN,
ANYBODY CARED OR... OR
HAD HELPED OR SOMETHING.
EVERYBODY JUST GETS SORE AT ME.
- BUD, I'M NOT SORE AT YOU.
- OH! YOU GET REALLY EXCITED
ABOUT THE THINGS BETTY DOES.
ALL OF HER THINGS
ARE IMPORTANT TO YOU.
YOU DON'T...
YOU DON'T SEEM TO CARE
ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT I'M DOING.
- BUD, THAT'S NOT TRUE.
BUD.
WOULD A WIRE COAT
HANGER BE ANY GOOD TO YOU?
- YEAH, IT MIGHT.
I... I COULD CUT IT.
YEAH, THAT'LL WORK.
- OH, DON'T TOUCH THEM
WITH YOUR GREASY HANDS.
- SORRY.
THANKS.
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[hammering]
OW!
- DID YOU HURT YOURSELF?
- DARN CAR.
- DID YOU FIX IT?
- OH, I'LL TELL YOU IN A MINUTE.
- WHAT HAPPENED?
- BATTERY'S DEAD.
- OH. WELL, I... I GOTTA
GO OVER AT PATTY'S.
I... I'M SORRY, BUD.
- YEAH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[metal clanks]
[metal squeaking]
- IS BUD STILL OUT
THERE WITH THE CAR?
- OH, I GUESS SO.
OH, I'VE BEEN HEARING THE MOST
HORRIBLE NOISES FROM OUT THERE.
[metal squeaking]
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
POOR KID.
- BUD.
OH!
- YOU'RE GONNA GET
ALL GREASY, MOM.
- OH, I DON'T CARE.
- OH, BUD, WHY DIDN'T YOU
TELL US YOU WERE IN TROUBLE?
- OH.
TSK.
TSK.
AH!
[cheerful music]
- MARGARET, I'M HOME.
♪ ♪
MARGARET?
MARGARET?
[metal clanking]
- SHE'S DOWN HERE, FATHER.
[metal clanking]
[hammering]
[canned laughter]
- OH, WHAT'S GOING ON OUT HERE?
WHERE'S YOUR MOTHER?
[canned laughter] HUH?
- HELLO.
[canned laughter]
- HOW DO YOU LIKE MY
GREASE MONKEY, DAD?
- FOR THE LOVE OF...
WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOWN THERE?
- WELL, BUD'S OVERHAULING
THE SPARK CONTROL,
AND I'M HOLDING A PIECE OF WIRE.
IT'S A VERY TECHNICAL
JOB. [canned laughter]
- I THINK I GOT IT FIXED, DAD.
- OH, HOW DO I GET OUT OF HERE?
- THAT'S EASY.
[laughs]
- OH!
- FATHER!
- [laughter]
- WHEN I MARRIED YOU, THIS
WASN'T PART OF THE DEAL.
- [laughs]
- YOU ASKED FOR IT.
- WELL, AFTER ALL
THAT, IT'D BETTER RUN,
- THAT'S ALL I CAN SAY.
- [laughs]
- HEY, MOM, YOU AND
DAD GET IN THE CAR.
DAD, YOU HANDLE THE
THROTTLE AND STUFF LIKE THAT,
AND I'LL CRANK IT OVER.
- WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH THE STARTER?
- BATTERY IS LOW.
- OH.
- [moans]
- UH, ARE YOU READY?
- OH, OH, OH, OH.
CONTACT.
[canned laughter]
[bursts]
- [laughter]
- HE... HEY! YOOHOO!
[laughing]
- LISTEN TO THAT MOTOR,
DOESN'T SHE SOUND GREAT?
- PURRS LIKE A KITTEN.
- ALL IT NEEDED WAS MOTHER
TO STRAIGHTEN IT OUT.
- SHE'S GOT THAT MAGIC TOUCH.
- AH, YOU KNOW,
WHAT BUD AND I THINK?
YOU'RE AN ANGEL
WITH A DIRTY FACE.
[canned laughter]
- [laughter]
[canned laughter]
- IT'S TOO BAD, IN A WAY,
WE HAVE TO GO OVER
TO THE CLARKS' TONIGHT.
BUD'S FIRST EVENING
WITH HIS NEW CAR.
- YOU JUST CAN'T WAIT
TO DRIVE IT, CAN YOU?
- OH, IT'S NOT THAT.
IT'S JUST SORT OF A
MEMORABLE OCCASION,
UH, KIND OF A
MILESTONE IN BUD'S LIFE.
[knocks] COME IN.
- HI.
- WOW. [laughs]
- WELL, YOU LOOK PRETTY CLEAN.
- SO ARE YOU.
[canned laughter]
- OH, WHAT'S ON YOUR
MIND, CAR OWNER?
- WELL, I WAS JUST
THINKING, YOU KNOW,
YOU GET THE FIRST
CHANCE TO DRIVE THE CAR.
- WELL, THANK YOU, SON.
- AND, UH, I WAS THINKING
SINCE YOU'RE GOING OVER
TO THE CLARKS' FOR DINNER,
WHY DON'T YOU AND MOM
DRIVE MY CAR OVER THERE?
- OH, WELL, THAT'S
VERY KIND OF YOU, BUD,
BUT I THINK WE'LL TAKE OURS.
- WELL, PLEASE TAKE IT.
I... IT NEEDS TO BE DRIVEN ANYWAY
TO CHARGE UP THE BATTERY.
- NO, BUD, THAT
WOULDN'T BE FAIR.
IT'S YOUR CAR AND
IT'S BRAND-NEW.
[chuckles]
WE'LL STICK TO OUR OLD SEDAN.
[canned laughter]
- WOULDN'T YOU TAKE IT, PLEASE?
AS A FAVOR TO ME.
HONEST, I'D BE HONORED
IF YOU TAKE MY CAR.
- [chuckles]
- OH, WE APPRECIATE
YOUR OFFER, BUD,
BUT, UH, I DON'T THINK WE CAN.
- WELL, YOU MAY HAVE TO.
I FORGOT TO TELL YOU,
THIS AFTERNOON I HAD TO
SIPHON THE GAS OUT OF YOUR CAR
AND PUT IT INTO MINE.
[canned laughter]
[comical music]
♪ ♪
- IF YOU EVER SIPHON
GAS OUT OF MY TANK AGAIN,
I'LL FOUL YOUR SPARK PLUGS.
- WELL, I HOPE YOU LEFT
THOSE COVERALLS IN THE CAR.
I MAY HAVE TO MAKE SOME
REPAIRS BEFORE I GET HOME.
- [laughs]
- NOW, NO SHOWING OFF
WHILE YOU'RE DRIVING.
DON'T TRY TO BE A CUTE KID.
- I WON'T.
- AND KEEP YOUR SPEED DOWN.
YOU'LL GET THERE IN
THE SAME AMOUNT OF TIME
IF YOU'D TAKE IT EASY.
OKAY, NOW, HAVE A GOOD TIME
AND BE HOME EARLY AND BE CAREFUL.
- WE WILL, SON.
[canned laughter]
- BYE, DADDY. BYE, MOMMY.
- BYE, KATHY.
- GOODBYE, DEAR.
- [laughter]
- OH.
[engine bursts]
- WELL, HERE WE GO.
- OH.
- GOODBYE.
- GOODBYE.
- SO LONG.
[cheerful music]
♪ ♪
- BYE.
- BYE.
[engine booms]
[applause]
[theme music]
Narrator: ROBERT YOUNG...
♪ ♪
AND JANE WYATT.
- [laughter]
WITH ELINOR DONAHUE, BILLY
GRAY, AND LAUREN CHAPIN...
IN FATHER KNOWS BEST.
- WELL, AS FAR AS I KNOW,
WE'RE FREE TOMORROW NIGHT.
OH, I'M QUITE SURE JIM
HAS NOTHING PLANNED.
OH, IT SOUNDS LIKE A LOT OF FUN.
CAN WE BRING ANYTHING?
- EH, MOM.
- ALL RIGHT, RUTH,
WE WILL BE THERE.
[canned laughter] ABOUT 6?
- MOM, I...
- THANKS FOR ASKING US. GOODBYE.
- MOM, I'VE GOT
SOMETHING TO TELL YOU.
- WELL, I ASSUME IT'S MUCH THE
WAY YOU'VE BEEN WALTZING AROUND.
- LOOK, I JUST CAME FROM
DOUG HARTLEY'S HOUSE.
YOU KNOW WHO DOUG
HARTLEY IS, DON'T YOU?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- YOUR SLEEVE WAS TURNED UP.
[canned laughter]
- NOW WAIT, MOM, I WAS
TELLING YOU SOMETHIN'.
- WELL, TELL ME IN THE KITCHEN.
I HAVE CAKES IN THE OVEN.
[canned laughter]
- LIKE I WAS SAYING,
I WAS TALKING TO DOUG
HARTLEY TODAY AT SCHOOL,
AND HE WAS TELLING ME THAT...
- BUD, WILL YOU HAND
ME A TOOTHPICK?
- MOM, ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?
- UH-HMM. I'M LISTENING.
- WELL, YOU WON'T
BELIEVE THIS. IT'S FANTASTIC.
BUT DOUG HAS THIS CAR,
AND IT'S IN REAL GOOD SHAPE,
GOOD TIRES AND EVERYTHING,
AND HE WANTS TO SELL IT.
DID YOU HEAR THAT, MOM?
HE SAID HE WANTS TO SELL IT.
[canned laughter]
- I HEARD YOU.
- WELL, GUESS HOW MUCH
HE WANTS FOR IT. JUST GUESS.
- BUD, IF ALL THIS IS LEADING
UP TO YOUR BUYING THE CAR,
I'LL TELL YOU, I'M NOT
IN FAVOR OF THE IDEA.
- BUT I CAN GET IT FOR
JUST $10, JUST 10 BUCKS.
- HI, MOMMY. ARE
THOSE CAKES FOR ME?
- YUP. THESE ARE YOURS.
OH, BE CAREFUL, THEY'RE HOT.
- IT'S A STEAL, MOM.
WHY, FOR SCRAP IRONS
IT'S WORTH AT LEAST 25.
- THE LITTLE SQUIRES
ARE HAVING A BAKERY SALE,
AND I'M GONNA TAKE
THESE TWO CAKES.
- LOOK, TERMITE,
I'M TALKING TO MOM.
NOW CUT OUT. LAY A
PATCH. BURN SOME RUBBER.
[canned laughter]
- GO BURN SOME RUBBER YOURSELF.
I HAVE AS MUCH RIGHT TO
TALK TO MOMMY AS YOU HAVE.
BESIDES, I'M A GIRL
AND SHE'D RATHER TALK TO
ME THAN YOU ANYWAY. SO, HAH!
[canned laughter]
- HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.
- I...
- BREAK IT UP.
- I WAS HERE FIRST,
HOW COME SHE...
- HI, MOTHER.
IT'S MY DRESS.
- OH, LET ME SEE IT.
OH, IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
- I WAS TELLING YOU...
- DID YOU MAKE IT YOURSELF?
- I WAS...
- OH, MOST OF IT.
MRS. CULVER DID THE RUFFLES.
- OH.
- I WAS TALKING TO YOU
ABOUT THE CAR, MOM.
- WELL, IT'S AS PRETTY AS
ANYTHING YOU'D BUY IN A STORE.
- YOU SEE WHERE I PUT THE
DARTS HERE ON THE BODICE?
OOH, WHAT A JOB.
- YOU KNOW WHAT YOU OUGHT
- TO WEAR WITH THIS?
- NO.
- THAT BLACK BELT WITH
THE RHINESTONE BUCKLE.
- OH.
- IF I TOLD THEM THE CAR
HAVE RUFFLE SEAT COVERS,
AND A RHINESTONE
FAN BELT, THEY'D LOVE IT.
[canned laughter]
- IS FATHER HOME?
- NO! BUT JUST REMEMBER THIS,
WHEN HE GETS HOME,
I'M TALKING TO HIM FIRST.
GOT THAT? I'M FIRST!
[canned laughter]
[car engine rumbles]
- SAY, DAD, CAN I TALK
TO YOU FOR A MINUTE?
[engine idles and stops]
HI, DAD. [car door slams]
- HELLO, BUD.
- SAY, CAN I TALK TO YOU
ALONE, JUST YOU AND ME?
- WELL, SURE. NOTHING
WRONG, IS THERE?
- NO. BUT I JUST
WANNA TALK TO YOU
WITHOUT BETTY OR
KATHY BUTTING IN.
SEEMS EVERY TIME I
TRY AND SAY SOMETHING,
I GET HIT IN THE FACE
WITH A PETTICOAT.
[canned laughter]
- UH, IT'S A TOUGH LIFE,
SON. BUT I'M WITH YOU.
- WELL, I WAS TALKING TO DOUG
HARTLEY TODAY AT SCHOOL...
- HI, HONEY.
- OH, HELLO, DEAR.
HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
- OH, THE USUAL.
- [chuckles]
- OH, RUTH CLARK PHONED.
THEY'RE GIVING A DINNER
PARTY TOMORROW NIGHT.
THEY'D LIKE US TO COME.
- GOOD, TELL THEM
WE'LL BE THERE.
- MOMMY, THE FROSTING'S BOILING!
- OH, DEAR. EXCUSE ME.
- [chuckles]
- OH. NOW, AS YOU WERE SAYING?
- WELL, DOUG HARTLEY,
HE'S A GUY AT SCHOOL,
LIVES RIGHT DOWN THE BLOCK,
HE'S GOT THIS CAR, AND,
DAD, YOU OUGHT TO SEE IT.
IT'S ABSOLUTELY
IN PERFECT SHAPE.
IT'S GOT EVERYTHING ON IT...
WHEELS, FENDERS,
HEADLIGHTS. [canned laughter]
EVERYTHING.
RADIALS JUST RELINED.
THE RADIATOR IS JUST LIKE
NEW, BARELY LEAKS AT ALL,
AND THE TIRES ARE
IN REAL GOOD SHAPE,
THEY STILL GOT TREAD ON 'EM.
IT'S A SENSATIONAL CAR, DAD,
AND DOUG WANTS TO SELL IT.
HE'LL LET ME HAVE
IT FOR JUST 10 BUCKS.
[canned laughter]
- A CAR FOR $10?
- SURE. AND HE'S GONNA
THROW IN A SPARE FRONT AXLE
AND A COMPLETE SET OF ROAD
MAPS OF NORTHERN CANADA.
[canned laughter]
- [chuckles]
- I MEAN, WHAT DO YOU
THINK OF THE IDEA, DAD?
- WELL, I DON'T KNOW, BUD.
LET'S, UH, THINK ABOUT IT.
- BUT I'VE GOT TO LET HIM KNOW.
HE'S GOT FIVE GUYS
THAT WANNA BUY IT,
AND IT'S NOT GONNA
COST YOU ANYTHING.
I'VE GOT THE MONEY.
I'M PAYING FOR IT MYSELF.
- WELL, IT'S NOT
JUST THE MONEY, BUD.
- WELL, THEN, WHAT'S
THE PROBLEM, DAD?
I'VE GOT MY JUNIOR
OPERATOR'S LICENSE.
I'M LEGAL.
- I KNOW, BUT...
- DAD... I WANT THIS CAR MORE
THAN I'VE EVER WANTED ANYTHING
IN MY WHOLE LIFE.
DON'T YOU REMEMBER HOW MUCH
YOU WANTED YOUR FIRST CAR?
DON'T YOU REMEMBER?
- YES, I REMEMBER.
[chuckles]
IT WAS AN OLD MODEL T.
I PAID $5 FOR IT.
- BET YOU WERE SURE
HAPPY WHEN YOU GOT IT, HUH?
- YEAH, I GUESS I WAS.
I REMEMBER THE FIRST
TIME I GOT IT RUNNING.
TSK.
IT DIDN'T HAVE AN
ELECTRIC STARTER.
I HAD TO HAND-CRANK IT.
OH, THAT ENGINE HAD THE
SWEETEST SOUND I'VE EVER HEARD,
FOUR CYLINDERS.
[chuckles]
DIDN'T HAVE A GEARSHIFT,
WE USED TO WORK IT WITH
FOOT PEDALS ON THE FLOOR.
PLANETARY
TRANSMISSION, THEY CALL IT.
[laughs]
OH, HOW I LOVED THAT OLD CAR.
TSK, TSK.
I REMEMBER I HAD A BIG
ARGUMENT WITH MY FATHER ABOUT IT.
I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND WHY
HE WOULDN'T LET ME SLEEP IN IT.
[canned laughter]
[chuckles]
UH, I TELL YOU, THERE'S
NOTHING AS GREAT AS...
UH, BUT THINGS WERE
QUITE DIFFERENT THEN.
[canned laughter]
THERE WEREN'T SO
MANY CARS ON THE ROAD.
PEOPLE DIDN'T
DRIVE AS FAST THEN.
TIMES HAVE CHANGED CONSIDERABLY.
UH, YOU'D HAVE TO
BE AWFULLY CAREFUL
IF YOU WERE TO GO
AND GET YOUR OWN CAR.
- WELL, I'M CAREFUL, DAD.
YOU KNOW I'M CAREFUL.
WELL, I GOT A REAL
HIGH GRADE IN THE TEST
FOR MY DRIVER'S
LICENSE, REMEMBER?
AND YOU'VE RIDDEN WITH ME
WHEN I WAS DRIVING YOUR CAR.
YOU KNOW, HOW GOOD I CAN DRIVE.
- BUT YOU'D HAVE TO BE ON
YOUR TOES EVERY SECOND.
NO GOOFING AROUND,
NO HOT-ROD STUFF.
- I KNOW, DAD, I KNOW.
- NO... NO SHOWING OFF.
NO BEING A CUTE KID.
NOW THIS YOU'D HAVE TO
PROMISE ME SOLEMNLY, MAN TO MAN.
- I PROMISE, DAD.
I GIVE YOU MY WORD, HONEST.
- [grunts]
YEAH, I GUESS YOU
CAN HAVE THE CAR.
- YAHOO!
- WHAT HAPPENED?
[canned laughter]
- I'M GETTING IT!
I'M GETTING IT!
DAD SAID I CAN HAVE THE CAR!
- OH! NOW, WAIT A MINUTE.
THERE'S SOMETHING SNEAKY
GOING ON AROUND HERE.
- WELL, HONEY, WHAT'S WRONG
WITH BUD HAVING A LITTLE CAR?
HE HAS HIS LICENSE.
- THE MAIN THING THAT'S WRONG
IS THAT HE ASKED
ME TEN MINUTES AGO,
AND I SAID I WAS AGAINST IT.
I'M ASHAMED OF YOU, BUD.
AFTER I SAID NO, COMING RIGHT
IN HERE AND ASKING YOUR FATHER.
- I DIDN'T ASK HIM IF I
COULD HAVE THE CAR.
I JUST ASK HIM WHAT
HE THOUGHT OF THE IDEA,
SAME AS I ASKED YOU.
[canned laughter]
- WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU
DISCUSSED THIS WITH YOUR MOTHER?
- WELL, YOU DIDN'T ASK ME.
BESIDES, WE DIDN'T DISCUSS IT.
I COULDN'T.
MOM WAS SO BUSY WITH KATHY'S
CAKES AND BETTY'S DRESSES,
I COULDN'T GET A
WORD IN EDGEWISE.
[canned laughter]
- BUD?
- NO KIDDING, DAD.
WHEN YOU'RE NOT AROUND,
I'M A LOST SOUL HOLLERING
IN THE WILDERNESS.
IS IT FAIR TO JUST
SAY NO TO A GUY
WITHOUT EVEN GIVING HIM A
CHANCE TO DEFEND HIMSELF?
DO YOU SEND A MAN TO
THE EXECUTION CHAMBER
WITHOUT EVEN GIVING HIM A TRIAL?
[canned laughter]
- OH, STOP DRAMATIZING.
- WELL, I WISH
SOMEBODY HAD TOLD ME
WHO WOULD TALK TO
WHOM ABOUT THIS CAR.
THIS PUTS ME
RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE.
I'VE ALREADY TOLD
BUD HE COULD HAVE IT,
AND THEN HERE YOU
TOLD HIM HE COULDN'T.
- WELL, IT'S NOT MY FAULT.
I DIDN'T ASK ANYBODY
IF I COULD HAVE THE CAR.
I JUST SAID, WHAT DO
YOU THINK OF THE IDEA?
WELL?
IF YOUR FATHER TOLD
YOU YOU COULD HAVE IT,
I'M NOT GONNA SAY YOU CAN'T.
[chuckles] YOU KNOW MORE
ABOUT THESE THINGS THAN I DO.
I'M GONNA LEAVE IT
STRICTLY TO THE TWO OF YOU.
- WELL, CAN I GO TELL
DOUG IT'S A DEAL?
- YES, GO ON.
- OH!
OH, YOU'RE NOT
SORE, ARE YOU, MOM?
- I'M NOT EXACTLY
BUBBLING WITH JOY.
[canned laughter]
- WAIT TILL YOU SEE THE CAR.
WAIT TILL I TAKE
YOU FOR A RIDE IN IT.
YOU'LL FALL IN LOVE WITH IT.
WON'T SHE, DAD?
- BUD, DON'T ASK ME FOR ANY
MORE OPINIONS RIGHT NOW.
JUST GO. [canned laughter]
- OH. BE BACK IN A SHAKE.
- [sighs]
JIM, WHY DID YOU LET
HIM TALK YOU INTO IT?
- WELL, LOOK, HONEY.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND HOW
MUCH THIS MEANS TO BUD.
- HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO BUD?
IT'S HOW MUCH THIS
SILLY CAR MEANS TO YOU.
WELL, HE KNOWS YOUR WEAKNESSES.
HE KNOWS EXACTLY
HOW TO GET AROUND YOU.
I'LL BET ANYTHING, HE SAID,
"REMEMBER YOUR FIRST CAR, DAD?"
[canned laughter]
THEN HE GOT YOU STARTED
ON THAT OLD MODEL T OF
YOURS YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
NOW, DIDN'T HE?
- HE DIDN'T GET ME STARTED.
- FOR THAT MATTER, I UNDERSTAND
HOW MUCH HE WANTS A CAR.
IT'S SIMPLY THAT I
FEEL IT'S TOO SOON.
HE'S... HE'S TOO YOUNG.
- TOO YOUNG?
I WAS DELIVERING FEED FOR
HOTMYER'S HAY AND GRAIN
WITH A TRUCK WHEN I WAS 14.
BUD'S GOING ON 16.
- HE'S STILL A LITTLE BOY.
HE'S FORGETFUL, HE'S CARELESS.
- OH, MARGARET, STOP
TALKING LIKE A MOTHER.
WHEN HE TOOK HIS DRIVING
TEST FOR HIS LICENSE,
THE MAN WHO RODE WITH HIM
SAID HE WAS VERY CAREFUL.
- THAT MAN DOESN'T HAVE TO
CLEAN UP HIS ROOM EVERYDAY.
- AND WHAT ABOUT BETTY'S ROOM?
WHEN SHE FLIES OUT OF
THERE IN THE MORNING,
IT LOOKS LIKE HURRICANE ETHEL
HIT THE LAUNDRY... NYLON JUNGLE,
BUT THERE'S NO
OBJECTION TO HER DRIVING.
- I'VE SAID ALL I'M GOING
TO SAY ON THE SUBJECT.
HE'S YOUR SON.
IF YOU WANT HIM TO
HAVE A CAR, ALL RIGHT.
BUT THIS IS BETWEEN YOU AND BUD.
YOU BOTH KNOW
HOW I FEEL ABOUT IT,
AND THAT'S WHERE IT STANDS.
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- GET LOST, YOU MELON HEAD!
- YEAH?
- YEAH!
- WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?
- OH, I GOT IN A FIGHT.
- A FIGHT?
- YEAH, WITH DOOKY AND EARL.
BUT I WON.
YOU SEE, WE FOUND SOME BOARDS,
AND I WANTED TO
BUILD AN ORPHANAGE,
AND THEY WANTED TO
BUILD AN AIRCRAFT CARRIER.
SOMETIMES BOYS JUST
DON'T UNDERSTAND GIRLS.
- UH-HMM, SOMETIMES GIRLS
DON'T UNDERSTAND BOYS.
- WELL, IT'S ALL SET, DAD.
I MADE THE DEAL, I GOT IT.
- WELL, IT DIDN'T
TAKE YOU VERY LONG.
DID YOU BRING IT HOME WITH YOU?
- NO, DOUG HAD TO GATHER
UP SOME PAPERS ON IT.
I'M TAKING DELIVERY
IN THE MORNING.
- WELL, I GOTTA TELL MOM.
- WAIT, UH...
YOUR MOTHER'S A
LITTLE COOL ON THIS IDEA.
IT MIGHT BE BETTER IF YOU DON'T
SAY TOO MUCH ABOUT IT TONIGHT.
- YEAH, MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.
- [chuckles]
- WELL, TOMORROW'S
THE DAY, HUH, DAD?
- [chuckles]
ARE YOU TAKING IT APART ALREADY?
- I GUESS I'D BETTER WASH UP.
- WELL, WHERE DID EVERYONE GO?
- OH, DADDY AND
BUD WENT UPSTAIRS.
THEY WERE TALKING
ABOUT SOMETHING,
BUT I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND IT.
- WELL, WHAT?
- WELL, THEY SAID YOU WERE COOL,
AND DOUG HAS A
DEAL SET UP FOR BUD
TO DELIVER PAPERS
IN THE MORNING,
BUT THEY'RE NOT GONNA
TALK MUCH ABOUT IT TONIGHT,
BECAUSE TOMORROW'S THE DAY.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT?
- HM, I HAVE A VAGUE IDEA.
- SOMETIMES, I HATE BOYS.
HUH, IS DADDY A BOY?
- SOMETIMES.
[canned laughter]
[alarm clock ringing]
[canned laughter]
[canned laughter]
[canned laughter]
- BUD, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING IN HERE?
- GETTING DRESSED.
- AT 6:30 IN THE MORNING?
- YEAH, I'LL PICK
UP MY CAR TODAY.
- OH, WHAT HAPPENED?
- NOTHING.
- I THOUGHT AN
AVALANCHE HAD HIT US.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP SO EARLY?
- GETTING DRESSED, I'M
GONNA PICK UP MY CAR.
- NOW?
- WELL, AFTER BREAKFAST.
- OH.
- BUD, WE DON'T HAVE
BREAKFAST FOR AN HOUR.
GO BACK TO BED.
- MOM, I GOTTA BE READY.
- [sighs] ALL RIGHT.
IF YOU'RE GOING TO STAY UP
YOU CAN... YOU CAN
RAKE THE FRONT YARD,
SWEEP THE DRIVEWAY,
AND... AND BURN THE TRASH.
- OKAY, I'LL GO BACK TO BED.
[canned laughter]
- MARGARET, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING UP SO EARLY?
- I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING.
- YOU'RE UP SO EARLY,
MOMMY. WHAT'S GOING ON?
- [sighs]
WELL, AS... AS LONG
AS WE'RE ALL UP,
WE MIGHT AS WELL GET
READY FOR BREAKFAST.
WHY ARE WE STARTING SO EARLY?
- WHY?
BECAUSE THIS IS CAR DAY!
[canned laughter]
- SLOW DOWN, BUD.
- I GOTTA HURRY, DAD.
I TOLD DOUG I'D BE OVER
RIGHT AFTER BREAKFAST
TO PICK UP THE CAR.
- CAN I HAVE THE
FIRST RIDE IN IT?
- NO. MOM AND DAD
GET THE FIRST RIDE.
- OH, LUCKY YOU.
- WELL, EXCUSE ME.
- OH, UH, BUD, BEFORE YOU
GO, DO ME A FAVOR, WILL YOU?
- WHAT, DAD?
- DON'T DRIVE THE
CAR TILL I GET HOME.
I'D LIKE TO CHECK IT OVER FIRST.
- OH, SURE.
BUT YOU WON'T FIND
ANYTHING WRONG WITH IT.
IT'S IN REAL GREAT SHAPE.
WELL, SEE YOU LATER.
[canned laughter]
- [sighs]
AREN'T YOU GONNA BE HERE TODAY,
WITH ALL THIS CAR
BUSINESS GOING ON?
IT'S NOT MY
DEPARTMENT, YOU KNOW?
- I'LL BE HOME AS SOON AS I CAN.
I'M LEAVING OUR CAR
HERE IF YOU'D LIKE TO USE IT.
GEORGE NEWMAN'S PICKING ME UP.
WE'RE GOING TO DRIVE OFF
AND HAVE A LOOK AT HIS FAST RIG.
- THIS PLACE WILL PROBABLY
LOOK LIKE A JUNKYARD
WHEN YOU GET HOME IN OLD
HEAPS SCATTERED ALL OVER.
- PRINCESS, LET'S, UH, GIVE
JUST A LITTLE FOR BUD, HMM?
I KNOW IT ISN'T EASY FOR
YOU TO GENERATE ENTHUSIASM
FOR A GREASY OLD CAR,
BUT JUST TRY TO
REMEMBER THAT THIS HEAP,
NO MATTER HOW MISERABLE
IT MAY LOOK TO YOU,
IS A THING OF RARE
BEAUTY TO BUD.
WE'LL GO ALONG WITH HIM.
LET HIM HAVE HIS MOMENT.
[car honking]
- YES, FATHER.
- OH, THERE'S GEORGE.
- GOODBYE, DEAR.
NOW DON'T FORGET WE'RE GOING
TO THE CLARKS FOR DINNER TONIGHT.
- BE HOME IN TIME TO DRESS.
- WILL DO, GOODBYE.
- WELL, I'M GOING OUTSIDE AND
WATCH FOR BUD AND HIS CAR.
- MOTHER, W... WHAT
IS IT ABOUT MEN
THAT MAKES THEM LIKE
EVERYTHING THAT'S DIRTY AND GRIMY?
- I DON'T KNOW.
I'VE OFTEN WONDERED.
- THEY ADORE
GREASY, OLD ENGINES,
SMELLY OLD PIPES, SLIMY FISH.
IT SEEMS A MAN'S MOST
CHERISHED AMBITION IS TO BE A PIG.
- WELL, IT'S CLOSE
TO WHAT YOU SAY,
BUT, UH, I WOULDN'T
SAY IT TOO LOUD.
- COME ON, PUSH!
- UGH!
- KEEP HER STRAIGHT.
- I'M STEERING.
- UGH. OH, PUT ON YOUR
PINKY MAKE-UP, BUD.
[canned laughter]
- OKAY. THAT'S FAR ENOUGH.
[squeaking]
OH, HERE SHE IS, MOM.
ISN'T SHE A BEAUTY?
- OH, IT'S QUITE A CAR.
- IT'S A WONDERFUL CAR.
WE HAD TO PUSH HER ABOUT A
HALF A BLOCK FROM DOUG'S HOUSE.
IT PUSHES REAL
EASY. Çcanned laughterÑ
- THAT'LL GET KIND OF TIRESOME
ON LONG TRIPS, WON'T IT?
- OH, IT RUNS OKAY.
IT JUST DOESN'T HAPPEN
TO BE RUNNING RIGHT NOW.
- OH, I SEE.
- OH, THERE'S SOME OLD THING
WRONG WITH HER RIGHT NOW.
A WIRE LOOSE OR SOMETHING.
OH, I CAN FIX IT IN A MINUTE.
JUST LOOK AT THE WHOLE
CAR, THOUGH. ISN'T IT GREAT?
LOOK AT THESE TIRES, BRAND-NEW
RETREADS, PRACTICALLY.
BODY'S SOLID AS A ROCK.
[clangs] [canned laughter]
WELL, HERE'S SOMETHING YOU
DON'T SEE IN THE NEWER CARS.
LOOK AT THIS UPHOLSTERY.
THAT'S REAL FLOOR CARPETING,
BROADLOOM, WEAR LIKE IRON.
[canned laughter]
- OH, AND THIS IS DOUG.
- HELLO.
- HELLO, DOUG.
- HI.
- WELL, I GOTTA BE
GOING. I... I'LL SEE YOU, BUD.
- YEAH, I'LL SEE YOU, DOUG.
OH, THE NEXT TIME YOU COME
OVER, BRING OVER THE WINDSHIELD.
[canned laughter]
- OKAY.
- OH, WAIT, MOM.
YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE ENGINE YET.
WAIT TILL YOU SEE THE
MOTOR IN THIS OLD BEAUTY.
[hood clanking]
[canned laughter]
I GUESS THE HOOD'S
A LITTLE LOOSE.
BUT YOU CAN SEE THE ENGINE.
IT'S GOT A MIDDLE
HEAD, HIGH LIFT CAM.
HEY, DON'T GET YOUR
FEET ON THE UPHOLSTERY.
- OKAY, OKAY.
- HEY, MOM...
AREN'T YOU INTERESTED
IN MY CAR AT ALL?
- OH, BUD, I... I UNDERSTAND
NOTHING ABOUT ENGINES,
AND I'VE GOT SO MUCH
TO DO IN THE HOUSE.
- YEAH, OKAY.
- OH, UH, TRY NOT GET
YOUR CLOTHES TOO DIRTY.
- COME ON, BUD, SEE IF YOU
CAN GET THE ENGINE STARTED.
LET'S TAKE A RIDE.
- OH, I CAN'T DRIVE
UNTIL DAD GETS HOME.
- WELL, LET'S SEE IF YOU
CAN GET THE ENGINE STARTED.
- UGH.
[engine rumbling]
- THE STARTER SURE SOUNDS NICE.
- THANKS.
WELL, I BETTER
GET TO WORK ON IT.
- CAN I HELP YOU?
- I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE.
[bangs] [clangs]
[canned laughter]
[comical music]
♪ ♪
- HEY, YOU GOT THREE LEGS!
[canned laughter]
♪ ♪
[canned laughter]
- HEY, GET AWAY WITH
THOSE GREASY CLOTHES.
- DO YOU KNOW
WHERE THERE'S A WIRE?
- A WIRE?
- YEAH, JUST A WIRE.
- NOW, THAT'S A SILLY QUESTION.
HOW WOULD I KNOW
WHERE THERE'S A WIRE?
WILL YOU PLEASE BE CAREFUL?
BUD, I HAVE TO
WEAR THIS TONIGHT.
- WHERE'S MOM?
- UPSTAIRS.
- HEY, MOM.
- HEY, MOM.
[canned laughter]
[canned laughter]
- OH, BUD! FOR HEAVEN'S
SAKE, WHAT DO YOU WANT?
- I THINK I FOUND OUT
WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY CAR.
THE ROD THAT ADVANCES AND
RETARDS THE SPARK IS BROKEN.
DO WE HAVE A LONG PIECE OF WIRE?
- BUD, I DON'T KNOW IF
WE HAVE ANY WIRE OR NOT.
WOULDN'T BE UP HERE ANYWAY.
BE IN THE GARAGE.
WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING?
- I'VE BEEN WORKING
UNDER THE CAR AND...
- WHY ARE YOU SORE AT ME, MOM?
- NO, I'M NOT.
IT'S... IT'S JUST THAT...
[sighs]
BUD, COULDN'T YOU HAVE
BOUGHT A CAR THAT WAS CLEAN
AND WOULD RUN INSTEAD OF
HAVING TO GO THROUGH THIS... THIS...
[sighs]
- GOSH.
WORKING ON IT IS HALF THE FUN,
ANYBODY CARED OR... OR
HAD HELPED OR SOMETHING.
EVERYBODY JUST GETS SORE AT ME.
- BUD, I'M NOT SORE AT YOU.
- OH! YOU GET REALLY EXCITED
ABOUT THE THINGS BETTY DOES.
ALL OF HER THINGS
ARE IMPORTANT TO YOU.
YOU DON'T...
YOU DON'T SEEM TO CARE
ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT I'M DOING.
- BUD, THAT'S NOT TRUE.
BUD.
WOULD A WIRE COAT
HANGER BE ANY GOOD TO YOU?
- YEAH, IT MIGHT.
I... I COULD CUT IT.
YEAH, THAT'LL WORK.
- OH, DON'T TOUCH THEM
WITH YOUR GREASY HANDS.
- SORRY.
THANKS.
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[hammering]
OW!
- DID YOU HURT YOURSELF?
- DARN CAR.
- DID YOU FIX IT?
- OH, I'LL TELL YOU IN A MINUTE.
- WHAT HAPPENED?
- BATTERY'S DEAD.
- OH. WELL, I... I GOTTA
GO OVER AT PATTY'S.
I... I'M SORRY, BUD.
- YEAH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[metal clanks]
[metal squeaking]
- IS BUD STILL OUT
THERE WITH THE CAR?
- OH, I GUESS SO.
OH, I'VE BEEN HEARING THE MOST
HORRIBLE NOISES FROM OUT THERE.
[metal squeaking]
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
POOR KID.
- BUD.
OH!
- YOU'RE GONNA GET
ALL GREASY, MOM.
- OH, I DON'T CARE.
- OH, BUD, WHY DIDN'T YOU
TELL US YOU WERE IN TROUBLE?
- OH.
TSK.
TSK.
AH!
[cheerful music]
- MARGARET, I'M HOME.
♪ ♪
MARGARET?
MARGARET?
[metal clanking]
- SHE'S DOWN HERE, FATHER.
[metal clanking]
[hammering]
[canned laughter]
- OH, WHAT'S GOING ON OUT HERE?
WHERE'S YOUR MOTHER?
[canned laughter] HUH?
- HELLO.
[canned laughter]
- HOW DO YOU LIKE MY
GREASE MONKEY, DAD?
- FOR THE LOVE OF...
WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOWN THERE?
- WELL, BUD'S OVERHAULING
THE SPARK CONTROL,
AND I'M HOLDING A PIECE OF WIRE.
IT'S A VERY TECHNICAL
JOB. [canned laughter]
- I THINK I GOT IT FIXED, DAD.
- OH, HOW DO I GET OUT OF HERE?
- THAT'S EASY.
[laughs]
- OH!
- FATHER!
- [laughter]
- WHEN I MARRIED YOU, THIS
WASN'T PART OF THE DEAL.
- [laughs]
- YOU ASKED FOR IT.
- WELL, AFTER ALL
THAT, IT'D BETTER RUN,
- THAT'S ALL I CAN SAY.
- [laughs]
- HEY, MOM, YOU AND
DAD GET IN THE CAR.
DAD, YOU HANDLE THE
THROTTLE AND STUFF LIKE THAT,
AND I'LL CRANK IT OVER.
- WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH THE STARTER?
- BATTERY IS LOW.
- OH.
- [moans]
- UH, ARE YOU READY?
- OH, OH, OH, OH.
CONTACT.
[canned laughter]
[bursts]
- [laughter]
- HE... HEY! YOOHOO!
[laughing]
- LISTEN TO THAT MOTOR,
DOESN'T SHE SOUND GREAT?
- PURRS LIKE A KITTEN.
- ALL IT NEEDED WAS MOTHER
TO STRAIGHTEN IT OUT.
- SHE'S GOT THAT MAGIC TOUCH.
- AH, YOU KNOW,
WHAT BUD AND I THINK?
YOU'RE AN ANGEL
WITH A DIRTY FACE.
[canned laughter]
- [laughter]
[canned laughter]
- IT'S TOO BAD, IN A WAY,
WE HAVE TO GO OVER
TO THE CLARKS' TONIGHT.
BUD'S FIRST EVENING
WITH HIS NEW CAR.
- YOU JUST CAN'T WAIT
TO DRIVE IT, CAN YOU?
- OH, IT'S NOT THAT.
IT'S JUST SORT OF A
MEMORABLE OCCASION,
UH, KIND OF A
MILESTONE IN BUD'S LIFE.
[knocks] COME IN.
- HI.
- WOW. [laughs]
- WELL, YOU LOOK PRETTY CLEAN.
- SO ARE YOU.
[canned laughter]
- OH, WHAT'S ON YOUR
MIND, CAR OWNER?
- WELL, I WAS JUST
THINKING, YOU KNOW,
YOU GET THE FIRST
CHANCE TO DRIVE THE CAR.
- WELL, THANK YOU, SON.
- AND, UH, I WAS THINKING
SINCE YOU'RE GOING OVER
TO THE CLARKS' FOR DINNER,
WHY DON'T YOU AND MOM
DRIVE MY CAR OVER THERE?
- OH, WELL, THAT'S
VERY KIND OF YOU, BUD,
BUT I THINK WE'LL TAKE OURS.
- WELL, PLEASE TAKE IT.
I... IT NEEDS TO BE DRIVEN ANYWAY
TO CHARGE UP THE BATTERY.
- NO, BUD, THAT
WOULDN'T BE FAIR.
IT'S YOUR CAR AND
IT'S BRAND-NEW.
[chuckles]
WE'LL STICK TO OUR OLD SEDAN.
[canned laughter]
- WOULDN'T YOU TAKE IT, PLEASE?
AS A FAVOR TO ME.
HONEST, I'D BE HONORED
IF YOU TAKE MY CAR.
- [chuckles]
- OH, WE APPRECIATE
YOUR OFFER, BUD,
BUT, UH, I DON'T THINK WE CAN.
- WELL, YOU MAY HAVE TO.
I FORGOT TO TELL YOU,
THIS AFTERNOON I HAD TO
SIPHON THE GAS OUT OF YOUR CAR
AND PUT IT INTO MINE.
[canned laughter]
[comical music]
♪ ♪
- IF YOU EVER SIPHON
GAS OUT OF MY TANK AGAIN,
I'LL FOUL YOUR SPARK PLUGS.
- WELL, I HOPE YOU LEFT
THOSE COVERALLS IN THE CAR.
I MAY HAVE TO MAKE SOME
REPAIRS BEFORE I GET HOME.
- [laughs]
- NOW, NO SHOWING OFF
WHILE YOU'RE DRIVING.
DON'T TRY TO BE A CUTE KID.
- I WON'T.
- AND KEEP YOUR SPEED DOWN.
YOU'LL GET THERE IN
THE SAME AMOUNT OF TIME
IF YOU'D TAKE IT EASY.
OKAY, NOW, HAVE A GOOD TIME
AND BE HOME EARLY AND BE CAREFUL.
- WE WILL, SON.
[canned laughter]
- BYE, DADDY. BYE, MOMMY.
- BYE, KATHY.
- GOODBYE, DEAR.
- [laughter]
- OH.
[engine bursts]
- WELL, HERE WE GO.
- OH.
- GOODBYE.
- GOODBYE.
- SO LONG.
[cheerful music]
♪ ♪
- BYE.
- BYE.
[engine booms]
[applause]
[theme music]