Fantasy Island (1977–1984): Season 3, Episode 5 - The Chain Gang/The Boss - full transcript

(BELL TOLLING)

The plane! The plane!

(GIRLS GIGGLING)

Good morning, boss.
What a beautiful day.

What subtle color in the
sky. What vibrant green.

Tattoo, what are
you talking about?

And why on earth are
you dressed up like that?

Don't you know we
have to meet our guests?

Why, boss? This is art.

Painting is really
where it's at.

I see.



And what has brought about this
sudden interest in art, if I may dare ask?

Well, painting releases
my artistic soul.

There wouldn't be
any other reason

why you have so suddenly
become interested in art?

Like what, boss?

Like attracting
females. No, huh?

Well, now that you mention it,

some chicks really go for
us sensitive, artistic types.

Tattoo, whenever you are
ready, we should meet our guests.

(ROARKE CLEARS THROAT)

Smiles, everyone!

Smiles.

ROARKE: Miss Cindy Carter, a
PBX operator from Chicago, Illinois.

TATTOO: PBX?
Sounds like an airplane.



No, PBX is a
switchboard, Tattoo.

Miss Carter is a
switchboard operator

for the Ballard
Publishing Company.

What's her fantasy, boss?

Oh, one held by millions of
workers the world over, Tattoo.

For this weekend, Miss Carter
wishes to become the boss,

the head of a large corporation
with all the trappings that go with it.

Sounds like fun.

Yes, it could be a great deal
of fun and exciting, Tattoo,

as long as Miss Carter realizes
that running a large corporation

can carry with it
many a baited pitfall.

Pitfall? You mean that
nice lady can get in trouble?

Who are they, boss? The
young man is Mr. Mike Jenner.

The young lady is his
fiancee, Miss Stacy Cummings.

They plan to marry as soon
as they return to their home

in Carmel, California.

But, boss, our
island is so beautiful.

Why can't they get married here?

Because Mr. Jenner has come

for a very different
purpose, Tattoo.

You see, his fantasy is to find
an extremely dangerous criminal

by the name of Eddie Collins.

Why is he looking for him?

You see, Mr. Jenner's father was a
courier for a large diamond company.

About a year ago, he disappeared

while carrying a million
dollars' worth of uncut diamonds.

A million dollars?

The company his father
worked for assumes

that he absconded
with the diamonds.

Mr. Jenner believes that Collins
robbed and murdered his father.

What will happen when
Mr. Jenner finds him?

He's not sure.

Perhaps kill him.

Kill him? Did you
say "Kill him," boss?

My dear guests, I am
Mr. Roarke, your host.

Welcome to Fantasy Island.

MIKE: You said in your letter you
may have found this Eddie Collins.

I believe I have.

So this is him.

I was beginning to
think that he didn't exist,

that he was just a
figment of my imagination.

Where did you find
him, Mr. Roarke?

He's a seaman on a freighter
that is due to stop at a small seaport

on the other side of
the island this afternoon.

Hardly the place I expect to find a man
with a million dollars in uncut diamonds.

Doesn't matter. If he's gonna
be there, I'll be waiting for him.

Perhaps that isn't
wise, Mr. Jenner.

You see, I have no jurisdiction
on that section of the coast,

and the authorities there
take a dim view of visitors

who take the law
into their own hands.

No offense, Mr. Roarke,
but I'm tired of waiting

for the authorities
to handle this.

I believe my dad was killed

and then framed for a
crime he'd never commit.

Bet on it. I'm gonna clear him,
regardless of what I have to do.

You must have been
very devoted to your father.

Yes, I was.

Oh, Mike, you know
that's not really true.

She's right.

The truth is,

like a lot of sons
and daughters,

I never thought much about
my old man while he was alive.

But he was always there.

Understanding,
reliable and unnoticed.

I did my own things,
took him for granted.

After he was gone,

I started thinking about the little
things he tried to do when I needed him.

I know now that he loved me.

You know, Mr. Roarke,

I never once told
him I loved him,

that I was grateful for all
the things he tried to do.

Oh, I approve of your
motives, Mr. Jenner.

But you will remember my warning

about taking the law into
your own hands, won't you?

CINDY: Just being the
boss wasn't my only reason

for coming to Fantasy Island.

ROARKE: Oh?

I'd like to work with the
president of Ballard Publishing.

His name is Brent Bailey.

Well, if you wanna
know the truth,

he's my secret fantasy.

This is where I live?

No, this is where you work.

No high-rise office building?

Well, we feel that high-rise buildings,
with all their steel and concrete,

somehow blemish the natural
beauty of Fantasy Island, you see.

Shall we go in and
meet your staff?

My staff?

Well, naturally.

My staff.

I've got a staff.

ROARKE: And now, Miss Carter,
may I present Mr. Alex Brave,

Vice President in
charge of advertising.

Hello. Mr. William Front,
Vice President, Personnel.

How do you do? Mr. Ralph
Ho, Vice President, Marketing.

Hello.

Mr. Howard Callas,
Vice President, Finance.

And lastly, Mr. Gary Pointer,
your executive secretary.

On behalf of all
of us, Miss Carter,

I want to welcome you
to Atwell Industries Inc.

Well, thank you so
much, Mr. Callas. I'm...

I'm sure we'll all get
along just famously.

Thank you. Thank you.

So, you're my
executive secretary?

Yes, ma'am.

Well, let's get one
thing straight right away.

I don't like formalities.

From now on, you call me Cindy

and I'll call you Harry.

Well, with all due respects,
I don't think we can do that.

Why not?

Well, mainly because my
name is not Harry, it's Gary.

(CHUCKLING) But if there's
anything you need, just buzz me.

(GIGGLING)

Don't move.

Something wrong, Tattoo?

It's not that.

Being a sensitive
artist, I just can't relate.

Well, gee, is there
anything I can do?

Well, it's all those
clothes. I feel confined.

You don't suppose you could...

Gee, I don't know.

But it's all for
the sake of art.

(PHONE RINGING)

Yes, I'd be delighted
to have lunch with you

and discuss methods for
reducing overhead. Of course.

Who did you say you were again?

Right.

Gary, put me down for lunch
on Wednesday with Jason Baxter.

Now, Mr. Morgan, I...

Mr. Morgan?

Mr. Morgan, I...

Mr. Morgan? Oh, there you are.

Mr. Morgan, I'm going to have to get
back to you after I've read your report.

Right.

Mr. Callas, what are all
these things that I'm signing?

Routine, Miss Carter, merely
routine. Just keep signing.

(PHONE RINGING)

GARY: Miss Carter's office.

Oh, no, no, that's
fine. I'll tell her.

Yes, thank you. Goodbye.

That was Brent Bailey. He's
just arrived from the mainland.

He'll be here in two hours.

Brent Bailey? Yes.

The Brent Bailey?

(STAMMERING) The
president of Ballard Publishing?

Yes. What's he doing here?

He works for you.

The Brent Bailey
really works for me?

I've been telling you.

Atwell Industries Inc.
Is a conglomerate.

See, we own nine companies,
one of which is Ballard Publishing.

You are chairman of the board,
and it's a real company. Yes.

Wasn't your fantasy
to be the boss?

Well, yes, but I
thought it was all a lark.

I never for a minute
thought it was real.

Oh, I assure you, Miss
Carter, it's very real.

That's crazy.

What happened to the
previous chairman of the board?

Mr. Neil Atwell.

His plane went down somewhere
in South America. The Andes.

It's presumed that
he died in the crash.

But how does that
make me chairman?

Well, it's not at
all complicated.

Please, sit down, Miss
Carter, Mr. Pointer.

You see, before he disappeared,

Mr. Atwell drew up a
document giving me

power of attorney to name
his temporary successor

in the event something
catastrophic occurred.

Then I really am
Brent Bailey's boss.

Oh, indeed, you are.

Brent Bailey is on the island

to attend the annual
stockholder's meeting.

He's on the board of directors.

You mean I have to go to
a stockholder's meeting?

You'll have to run
it, Madam Chairman.

Run it?

If I wasn't so shook,
I think I might be sick.

STACY: Please,
Mike, let's go back.

MIKE: Don't start again.

If Mr. Roarke says he'll
be there, he'll be there.

But if you don't kill
him, he'll kill you.

Say, excuse me. Have you
ever seen this man before?

It's him.

Mike, no. Please don't go!

(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)

Be careful.

There he is.

Well?

Hey, what do you want?

You.

Henry Jenner was my father.

(WOMAN SCREAMS)

(GASPS)

MAN: Hey! Break it up!

Come on!

STACY: Stop it!

Break it up!

MAN: Knock it off, you
two. STACY: Michael!

STACY: Stop!

EDDIE: Get up! Get on your feet!

MAN: Break it up, I said.

(GRUNTING)

If you guys got that much energy,
I know how to work it out of you.

A little time on the chain
gang is what you need.

Take them away.

EDDIE: Hey, let me
get my damn coat!

Get to Roarke. Let him
know what happened.

(BARKING)

You look sick, boy.

Better get used to it.

This is gonna be
your home for a year.

If you got any ideas
about escaping, forget it.

If the swamps don't get you,
the snakes or the crocodiles will.

And if they don't, I will.

And if it's me,

you'll wish it had
been one of the others.

There is something you should know about
the stockholder's meeting, Miss Carter.

No! No, no. Cindy. You
said you'd call me Cindy.

Cindy.

There is one very important
item on the agenda.

It has to do with the auditing
of the company's pension plan.

Oh. Well, why
is it so important?

Well, just before his
plane disappeared,

Mr. Atwell became suspicious.

He thought that somebody
was stealing those funds.

Really?

Well, why didn't
he order an audit?

He disappeared before
he had the opportunity.

What about the
board of directors?

Most of them are against
it. It's very expensive.

And they're afraid of the
scandal it might cause,

and perhaps the stock
would take a nosedive.

Oh.

Where does Brent Bailey stand?

He's against it.

Well, then you see... I mean,
if Brent Bailey is against it,

I'm sure everything
is all right.

Not only is he a
top-notch executive,

he's very honest
and straightforward.

I'd better go.

I want to freshen up a little
before Mr. Bailey gets here.

(INTERCOM BUZZES)

Yes? GARY: Mr. Brent
Bailey to see you, Miss Carter.

Send him in.

Mr. Bailey, how
nice to meet you.

What can I do for you?

Well, you can stop looking so
ravishingly beautiful for openers.

It makes it hard to
concentrate on business.

You look very familiar.
Have we met before?

No, no, no. I don't think so.

Of course not. Who could
forget a face and a body like that?

(CHUCKLES)

Tell me, how are things
at Ballard Publishing?

Never better. Sales up
27 percent over last year.

But you'll get all that at
the stockholder's meeting.

Been having any fun?

Oh, not really. You know how
it is running a conglomerate.

And you know what they
say about all work and no play.

Will I see you at
the luau tonight?

Luau?

Well, stockholder's
meetings can't be all business.

Nobody would come.

Well, it sounds
like it might be fun.

If you are there and I'm there,

it will definitely be fun.

I'll see you tonight,
Madam Chairman.

Maybe.

(SIGHS)

Hi, boss.

Well, and how is Fantasy Island's
answer to Michelangelo doing?

Great, boss. Great.

Say, Tattoo, this is quite good.

Oh, boss, that's nothing.

Wait until tomorrow.
I'll do the real thing.

Oh?

I'll make Raphael's Venus Rising

look like a third-grade
finger painting.

Tattoo, are you aware that the
painting of Venus Rising is a nude?

But of course, boss. Now all
I have to do is to tell Debbie.

Mmm-hmm.

(MAN SHOUTING)

Starting tomorrow, you two fellas
will be too tired to do any fighting.

And that's a promise.

(EXCLAIMS)

What do you want from me?

What?

An eye for an eye?
A tooth for a tooth?

Revenge?

Hey, Collins,

can you imagine what the
guys in here would do to you

if they knew you had access

to a million dollars
in diamonds?

A million dollars, huh?

Yeah. I figure they'd slice you up
real good for a piece of that action.

Now, what happened
to my old man?

Forget it, punk.

Punk.

(ISLAND MUSIC PLAYING)

Hello, I'm Cindy Carter.
Welcome to the luau.

Hello. Welcome to the luau.

Hope you're having a
good time on the island.

Help yourself. Make
yourself comfortable.

Cindy.

Hmm? Do you mind
if I say something?

I don't think so. Why
don't you try me?

Well, here goes.

You look very beautiful tonight.

Thank you.

Maybe it's because I've never
been so happy in my whole life.

That Mr. Roarke really
knows how to deliver.

Good evening.

How are you tonight,
Madam Chairman?

Cindy. Call me Cindy.

Excuse us, will you, please?

Of course.

Now, I believe
the giver is entitled

to one kiss of gratitude
from the receiver.

(BARKING)

MAN: Come on!

Hey, you! Put your back into it.

You been thinking
about what I said?

Huh?

How about it? Where is he?

Getting me killed won't
help you, will it, sonny?

I might tell you what
you wanna know

after you help me
get out of this place.

I don't intend to spend the
next year in this pest hole.

Escape?

It's easier if there
are two of us, huh?

Believe me, I'd sooner
do it by myself if I could.

You'll need that
file for the iron.

Now you've got
something to think about.

I'm enjoying this
stockholder's meeting so much.

So am I.

(CLEARS THROAT)

I know. More papers to sign.

I'm sorry to interrupt.

Are they important?

Only to the
government, Miss Carter.

You know, one of these
days, the whole world

is going to collapse
under all the paperwork.

(CHUCKLES) Sign right there.

Shouldn't I read them?

Trust the man, Cindy.

I mean, he is the vice
president in charge of finance.

If we can't trust Howard,
we'll all be in trouble.

Thank you.

Let's go someplace
where he can't find us.

Hold it, Cindy.

What's the matter? Aren't we going
to spend the afternoon together?

It must be jet lag or
something. Suddenly I'm bushed.

I'll have to give you
a rain check, okay?

Sure. I guess it
will have to be.

I'll see you later.

(DOG BARKING)

Oh, I talked to Roarke,
but he won't do anything.

Mike, I wish we had
never come to this place.

There's no time to talk.
We've only got a minute.

Listen, Collins and I
are breaking out of here.

You and Collins? Just listen.

There's a road that runs
along the big marshy area.

It's about 10
miles west of here.

But, Mike...

Meet us there tomorrow
with clothes and a car.

You don't understand.

As soon as you get out of
here, Collins will try to kill you.

I know what he has in mind.

Stacy, I can't do
this without you.

Will you meet us there?

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Gary, what are you doing here?

May I come in? Oh, sure.

Cindy, I...

(STAMMERING) I
really don't know how to...

(SIGHS)

I'm afraid you're
in trouble. What?

It has to do with Howard
Callas and Brent Bailey.

You see, they are
using you as a pigeon.

Pigeon?

Mmm-hmm. What
are you talking about?

You remember the pension
plan audit I told you about?

The one that's
coming up for the vote

at the stockholder's
meeting tomorrow?

Well, yes, but I told you, if
Brent is against that, so am I.

Well, he wasn't
taking any chances.

He's made it so you won't
get to vote on it anyway.

Well, that's silly.
Of course I can.

I have all of Atwell's proxies.

Had. Past tense.

Remember all those papers
that Callas got you to sign?

Yes. Well, one of them
gives Brent Bailey your vote.

(CLEARS THROAT) You
must be mistaken, Gary.

I mean, Brent...

Brent Bailey is a gentlemen.

And he's honest and forthright.

Really?

Well, look at this.

It is a photocopy of one
of the papers you signed.

How did you get it?

I borrowed it
from Callas' office.

BRENT: Talk about gullible.

We could've sold her
the Brooklyn Bridge.

(BOTH LAUGHING) Twice.

She was so eager to sign
those papers, I nearly broke up.

How about that "You
look so familiar" bit? Mmm.

She was scared to
death I'd recognize her.

What did you say she does?

She's a PBX operator. Oh.

I see her maybe
three times a year,

including the Christmas party,

and she's always
making calf eyes at me.

Oh, yeah, you're right.

You're right. I'm nothing but
a dumb switchboard operator

who thought she was
in love with her boss.

Well, you've done your dirty
work. You've got your proxies.

Let me tell you just one thing.

I'm gonna go to that
stockholder's meeting tomorrow,

and I'm gonna tell those
people exactly what happened.

By the time I'm through
with you two, you're gonna...

Hold it, Madam Chairman.

You aren't going to open
your mouth tomorrow or ever.

And do you want to know why?

Tell her why, Howard.

Because you'll go
to prison if you do.

Besides the proxies,

you signed several other pieces of
paper without bothering to read them.

All totaled, you've bought

and the company has paid for

over $400,000 worth of goodies.

That's all very illegal,
Madam Chairman.

Worth, I'd say, five or
more years in prison.

On the other hand, if you keep
your mouth shut and go along,

we might arrange a
nice fat job for you,

a vice presidency in
public relations, for example.

Why not?

(BOTH CHUCKLING)

Give me the file.

What are you doing?

Collins, if you
want out of here,

tell me what
happened to my father,

or you'll spend the
rest of your life in here.

Look, it was a simple heist.

I was just part of
the muscle, that's all.

We cased his
route for two weeks,

and then one day, we grabbed
him at the Diamond Mart.

You took the diamonds
and you killed him.

No. We had a
better idea than that.

We wanted the cops
looking for him, not us.

Where's my father now?

We hid him on the coast.

One day he broke out.

I finally catch up
with him, and...

he's on the edge
of this big cliff.

He wanted to tell everybody

what really happened.

I told him nobody
would believe him,

that Dave would
figure he's in on the job.

And then he started acting...

crazy.

And I didn't want
him pulling me down

from that big cliff with him.

So I left him there to cool off.

Oh, I kept my eye on him.

I watched him.

But he sat there

for two hours, and
then he started crying.

Like a kid. Cried like a baby.

And, so help me,

he stands there looking down.

And he jumps.

Collins, you write it all down,

including the names,
and then sign it.

(ALARM SOUNDING)

(DOGS BARKING)

I got here as soon
as I could. What's up?

My dander, that's what.
I'm gonna fight them, Gary.

You said on the phone that
they could send you to prison.

I don't care! I can't stand by

and let them bleed that pension
fund dry because of my goofs.

There's millions in that fund,
and there's a lot of little people

that are counting on that
money for their retirement.

Now you are being
hard on yourself.

You were up against
a couple of pros.

I've made up my mind,
Gary. Are you in or out?

Honey, I have been in
since the first time I met you.

Come on.

Just go along
with the game plan,

and there won't be any trouble.

Item number one
on today's agenda

is a proposed audit
of the pension fund.

Any discussion?

The chair recognizes
Mr. Brent Bailey.

I urge no vote.

The audit would be costly,

over $300,000 to start,

and I don't have to tell
you what any hint of scandal

would do to the
price of our stock.

Now let me tell you,
ladies and gentlemen,

the pension fund is
alive and very well.

Well said.

(ALL CHATTERING)

Any further discussion?

Well, then I suggest you make
yourselves very comfortable,

because I propose to
speak in favor of the audit.

Objection.

Ignore him, Cindy.
You are doing great.

(SIGHS)

You see, before you,
ladies and gentlemen,

a future jailbird of America.

Mr. Bailey and Mr. Callas

have threatened
to send me to prison

if I oppose them in any way.

But let me start at
the very beginning.

You see, I live and
work in Chicago

at Ballard Publishing,
which is owned by Atwell.

Will you sit down, Miss
Carter? Let her speak.

We have more important
things to speak about.

Go on, Cindy.

As I was saying,

I was a girl who had a fantasy.

And part of that fantasy included
getting close to Mr. Brent Bailey,

who now wants to
send me to prison.

Of course, I never
thought it would happen,

but Mr. Roarke is some
kind of miracle worker,

and suddenly, everything
seemed to be coming up roses.

Mr. Bailey even
seemed to care for me,

but all he really was after

was Mr. Atwell's proxy
votes, which I controlled.

Did you hear that?
That's not true at all.

She's lying.

Miss Carter, I
insist that you stop

before you involve
yourself in a slander suit.

Because of my gullibility,

Mr. Callas and Mr. Bailey got
my proxy votes away from me.

You see, I was going to
vote in favor of an audit,

and I had the proxies
to swing that vote.

And do you want to know why
Mr. Bailey doesn't want an audit?

I'm warning you! Because he and
Mr. Callas have been siphoning money

out of the pension
fund! That's not true.

That's lies.

Well, I can't prove it,

but if Mr. Atwell were
here, he could prove it.

Atwell is here.
And he can prove it!

(ALL CHATTERING)

I like your spunk, Miss Carter.

I also like the way you
handle yourself in the clinches.

As far as the pension
fund is concerned,

the sooner we
audit it, the better.

Mr. Atwell, where
did you come from?

The office that
adjoins this boardroom,

where I heard everything
on closed-circuit TV.

The plane crash.
We all thought...

The best way to catch a thief is not
let him know that you're watching him.

So I arranged to
drop out for a while

with Mr. Roarke's
very able help.

Going somewhere, gentlemen?

I think you better stay.

You see those two men
eyeing you so carefully?

They are police officers.

I think they might frown on
your leaving just now, you know?

I think, perhaps, you should
go back to your seats. Don't you?

Yes. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Sure.

Enough of that, you two. There's a
stockholder's meeting in progress.

You take over, Atwell. This
chairman of the board just resigned.

(BARKING)

How much further?

The road should be
just beyond this lagoon.

(GROANING)

There she is.

This is as far as you go, kid.
I'll take that confession now.

Will you?

Michael!

STACY: No!

Help me, kid. Help
me. I can't move.

I was gonna take you back,
hand you over with the confession.

But this is better, Collins.
It's just what you deserve.

You win, kid! You
win. Just help me.

Help him, Mike!

Come on.

No, Mike.

Mike this isn't like you. Help!

Help me, please. You
came here to clear your dad!

Or did you? Help me, please.

I don't wanna die! You help
me, I tell you, I'll tell the world.

Save me! Save me!

Mike, please!

Please! Please!
Please! Please help me!

Please! Please!

(GASPING)

Take a hold. Now pull.

That's far enough!

Mr. Roarke.

Miss Cummings,
gentlemen, please.

(WHIMPERING)

What's the matter with the dogs?

They've lost the scent.

Those dogs. We left a
trail from that quicksand.

Why aren't they following us?

Because they are
my dogs, Mr. Collins.

Well, Miss Carter, how did
you enjoy being the boss?

I loved it.

And as a matter of fact,
Brent Bailey did me a big favor.

How so?

Well, he challenged me.

So now I'm going back to school
where I can get more education

so I can qualify for a job
where I can be the real boss.

Congratulations.
And you, Mr. Pointer?

Well, thanks to
Cindy and Mr. Atwell,

I am going to become vice president
of the Ballard Publishing House

in Chicago next week.

Watch it. There are gonna
be two boss in the same family.

(CHUCKLES) Don't
you worry, Tattoo.

Ours is going to be a marriage
where there's only one boss.

That is, when Cindy gives
me permission to say so.

(ALL LAUGH)

Goodbye. Goodbye, Mr. Pointer.

Goodbye. Goodbye, Miss Carter.

Thank you, Mr. Roarke. Thank you for
enabling me to clear my father's name.

You are most
welcome, Mr. Jenner.

What happens to
Eddie Collins now?

It has been said that

the seeds of our punishment are
sown at the same time we commit the sin.

Mr. Collins will have the remainder
of his life to pay for his sins.

And what does the future
hold for the two of you?

With this behind us...

We're gonna make the remainder
of our lives as happy as possible.

Goodbye, Mr. Roarke.

Goodbye, Mr. Jenner. Tattoo.

Bye. Thank you both.

You're very welcome.

Well, Tattoo, I see you're
anxious to continue with your art.

Oh, by the way, have
you informed your model

how you propose to paint her?

Don't worry, boss.

I sent her a note, and I
told her to meet me here.

And I told her not to worry.

My only interest is in
the pursuit of my art.

Are you sure that your only interest
isn't in the pursuit of your model?

Oh, boss.

Hi, Debbie!

Are you ready to pose for me?

Are you crazy?

Posing in this silly
swimsuit was bad enough.

But if you think you're going to hang
a picture of me in some Paris museum

wearing nothing but a smile, then
you've got another thing coming.

I don't understand.

Well, maybe this will explain.

Tattoo, have you ever thought of
taking up painting by the numbers?

(ROARKE LAUGHING)