Fantasy Island (1977–1984): Season 3, Episode 4 - Baby/Marathon: Battle of the Sexes - full transcript

(BELL TOLLING)

The plane! The plane!

(GIRLS GIGGLING)

Tattoo?

Tattoo, where are you?

I'm coming, boss, I'm coming.

(SIGHING)

Tattoo, might I inquire
exactly what you are doing?

Boss, isn't it the week of
the Fantasy Island Marathon?

Yes, it is. And this year, we have
athletes coming from all over the world.

Right. Just like the Olympics.



That's right.

And what do they do
to start the Olympics?

The torch, of course.

Boss, this year I'll be the one to
open the Fantasy Island Marathon

by lighting the
flame of victory.

Excuse me, boss.

WOMAN 1: Oh, no!

WOMAN 2: Get some water!

No! Stop it.

(MUTTERING IN FRENCH)

Tattoo, if you
are quite finished,

I suggest you change your
clothes on the run, literally,

so we may greet our guests.

All right, boss. On the double.



Flames of victory indeed.

(HORN HONKING)

(WOMEN SHRIEKING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Smiles, everyone. Smiles.

Boss, they look like a singing
group. Two hits and a miss.

(TATTOO LAUGHING)

Just a little humor.

Oh.

The young ladies are Miss Gretchen
Wassermann and her best friend,

Miss Bunny Kelly.

The gentleman is
Mr. Olaf Olafsen.

All three are co-workers
at the Big Beaver

Barbell Factory in Beaver
Falls, Pennsylvania.

Big Beaver Barbell?
I never heard of it.

Which is why
the girls' fantasy is

to sponsor the winner of
our Fantasy Island Marathon.

Miss Kelly and Miss Wassermann have chosen
Mr. Olafsen to carry their company banner.

They hope to use the resulting publicity
to improve the factory's fortunes.

Unless business picks up, the
barbell factory will have to close

and the girls and their
community will go bankrupt.

Mr. Patrick Apaca, all the way
from San Francisco, California.

Patrick Apaca? Boss,
where he is? I don't see him.

He's right there, Tattoo.

Where?

In that nurses arms.

You mean the baby has a fantasy?

What kind of fantasy
could a baby have?

One he has no way
of understanding now.

Yet, one that could be the most
important factor in the rest of his life.

He wants to find a home
with a loving mother and father.

You mean, he's an orphan?

Yes, his parents were killed
in a car crash a month ago.

It was always his mother's wish
that if anything ever happened to her,

little Patrick would be raised here on
Fantasy Island, where she herself grew up.

She lived on Fantasy Island?

Do you remember Alicia Macapu?

Alicia Macapu? Dead?

But, boss, she's
just a little girl.

Little girls grow up, Tattoo.

Boss, I can remember when she used
to play in the courtyard with the kids.

Boss, we gotta find her baby
the best home in the world.

My dear guests, I am Mr. Roarke,
your host. Welcome to Fantasy Island.

Hello, ladies and gentlemen.
This is Bob Seagren,

speaking to you from the beautiful
grounds of the Fantasy Island Hotel,

where a lavish, pre-race buffet
is being held for the contestants

in the Fantasy Island Marathon,

perhaps the world's most exotic
and demanding athletic event.

Now, let's meet some of our competitors
who'll be vying for the cash prize

of over $250,000.

We have the dauntless Russian
champion, Boris Smolensk.

All business as usual,
and seldom smiling.

Dasvidanya, Boris.

From the Federal Republic of Nigeria,
this impressive looking gentleman is

Kintata Moluko.

And perhaps the two most
popular men in sports today,

the British champion,
Freddy Hunsacker.

And the American Olympic star, whose
personal integrity and sense of fair play

have earned him the affectionate
title of "the Clean Machine."

Ladies and gentlemen,
Eugene Bodine.

Hiya, Bob. Gene,
how do you feel?

Oh, I feel great. I've
worked very hard for this

and I look forward to a well
fought contest, win, lose or draw.

Thanks, Gene.

There's millions of people out
there who will be rooting for you.

And over here, we have, well,
one of the real bad boys of sports.

Bruno Grass.

And with him is his
sponsor and trainer,

the imminent sports physician and
publisher of Sports Health magazine,

Dr. R. M. Funk.

Well, I'm afraid it won't
be a very interesting race.

Bruno here has never
been in better shape.

And I expect him to beat his
pathetic competition with minimal effort.

(CHUCKLING)

Hi. BOB: I see.

Well, good luck to
the both of you and...

Oh, if you'll excuse
me, I see our host.

Mr. Roarke? Yes.

Mr. Roarke, you conceived of this
incredible idea, this incredible contest.

Do you have a
favorite to win it?

No, Mr. Seagren. No, no, no.

"The thrill of victory
and the agony of defeat"

is a phrase which has little
meaning on Fantasy Island.

No, I just hope that everyone enjoys a
keen and friendly competition, that's all.

I see you're being
very impartial.

But maybe you can tell us
a little about a newcomer.

A newcomer to international
competition, that is, Olaf Olafsen.

Yes. Will you come with me?

This is Mr. Olafsen
and his sponsors,

Miss Gretchen Wassermann
and Miss Bunny Kelly.

Hiya, Seagren baby.

Our boy here developed his
fantastic physique and size

using great training
equipment, Big Beaver barbells!

That's great. Fine.

Thank you. If you'll excuse us.

Mr. Roarke? Yes.

Now, why don't you go work
on your pecs or something?

Good boy.

Now, Bunny, we
got to talk strategy.

It's time to start
eliminating our competition.

(GRUNTS)

Oh, no. Oh, no!

No! What happened?

What's the matter?
I don't know, I...

I fell. I think I
sprained my ankle.

Oh, no!

What are we going to do?

If he can't run in the race, the factory
will close down and we'll be out of work.

We got to have a
contestant in the marathon!

There must be
something we can do.

I mean, there's
just got to be...

Wait a minute.
Hey, I got an idea.

Listen to this, Bunny.

That is the stupidest
idea I have ever heard!

Do you have a better one?

No, but that'll never work.

Sure it will, Bunny.

(LAUGHS)

One down, four to go.

Are you all right, Tattoo?

I'm all right. Thank you, Mary.

Thank you, Kiko.

I'll get some sheets on
here and we'll be all set.

Sure is cute.

He is.

Is he going to stay with you?

Only at night.

Until we can find a
proper home for him.

Your mother is gonna take
care of him in the daytime.

Yeah? That's great!

Maybe I'll baby-sit him and make
some money. I could sure use it.

You sure you won't mind keeping
him here in your room, Tattoo?

No, it will be all right.

You know, I think it's
because I knew his mother.

When she was young
like you, she used to

play outside in the
yard with the other kids.

It seemed like it was yesterday.

I'll take him now.

(CRYING)

What's wrong? Why is he
crying? Give him back to me.

(PATRICK STOPS CRYING)

Why is he doing that?

Don't you get it? He likes you.

He doesn't want to leave you.

He likes me?

Sure, he's crazy about you.

Yeah, well, perfect.

BOB: Okay, sports
fans, a little re-cap now

for those of you who
may have just tuned in.

At the starters gun, our
contestants will race along this course

to their bicycles.

Now, they'll race those bicycles for 50
miles along the north shore of the island,

and to the finish of our first
and only event for the day.

Now, I see Mr. Roarke is on his
way here now to the starting line.

But one of our competitors
has not yet shown up.

Yes, that's right, Olaf Olafsen
is nowhere to be seen and...

Wait a minute. I think I...

Yes, he is on his way to
the starting line right now.

This isn't going to work. Olaf's
a foot and a half taller than I am.

Well, walk taller.
And you think short.

I'm already on my toes.

He's still a foot taller.

Olaf, let's lift her up.

Excuse us.

Hi, guys.

All right, gentlemen.

And, uh,

gentlemen,

on your marks,

get set.

(GUN FIRES)

BOB: And there they go with the
Clean Machine leaping to the lead

followed by Boris Smolensk, Bruno
Grass, Sir Freddy and contestant...

And wait a minute, something is wrong
with Olaf Olafsen, ladies and gentlemen.

He has stopped running.
His pants have come down.

Wait a minute, that is
not Olaf Olafsen at all.

It looks like his
sponsor, Bunny Kelly.

Mr. Roarke, we will have to have a
ruling on this strange turn of events.

ROARKE: Well, according
to the marathon rules,

Miss Kelly sponsored
an entry, you see.

Now, if she wishes to change
that entry and run herself,

I have no objection
and I see nothing illegal.

BOB: Well, there you have it. You've
heard it from Mr. Roarke himself.

Bunny Kelly is an
official contestant.

Well, boss, Patrick is
all set. He's sleeping now.

Oh, that's very nice. Very nice.

How's everything doing?

Not too well, Tattoo.

Several of these
figures don't balance.

That's not what
I'm talking about.

I'm talking about
finding Patrick a home.

Oh. Well, actually, Tattoo,

I haven't had the chance to
concentrate on Patrick's fantasy yet.

Things have been so busy.

Boss, you didn't start yet?

Of course I started.

Several people here on the
island want to adopt a baby

and have sent in their
applications, you see.

Unfortunately, I haven't
gotten around to all of them yet.

What kind of people
are filing this paper?

Well... Oh, yes, the Cohales
sent in an application.

You mean, the people
from the fishing village?

Yes, uh-huh. Who else?

Well, let me think.

The Clancys filled out an
application, if I'm not mistaken.

You mean, the people
who cook for the hotel?

Tattoo, what on earth
is the matter with you?

Nothing, boss. But how can you know
somebody by looking at a piece of paper?

How do we know they're
good enough for Patrick?

Well, the other applicants
are the same kind

of people as the
Cohales and the Clancys.

Honest, hardworking people who live on
the island and who want to adopt a child.

I know them and I love them.

But?

This is too serious
to take this lightly.

We have to find the
best home for Patrick.

You said so
yourself, didn't you?

Did anyone ever tell you
you are a terrible nag? Huh?

But, considering your interest,

I think I have the perfect
solution to the problem.

Since you are so anxious for
Patrick to find just the right home,

you pick the parents.

Me?

Will you be satisfied with
anyone else's choice? Hmm?

Well?

All right, boss, I'll do it.
Thank you very much.

I promise I'm not gonna let
you down or let Patrick down.

I will find him the best
home in the whole world.

See you, boss. Yes.

BOB: Moving into the eleventh
mile now of this grueling bicycle race.

All contestants appear
to be hanging tough.

But the Clean Machine
continues to hold

a narrow lead over
the rest of the field.

From our ground camera, Eugene is going
out strong. Sir Freddy is holding close.

And neck and neck are Boris
and the tireless Kintata Moluko.

As you can see, Dr. Funk
is accompanying his protege,

shouting words of encouragement
and instruction every mile of the way.

You blithering idiot,
will you peddle?

We're out here to win,
not lose. Now get on!

What are you, crazy? Peddle!

Peddle or you're
going back to the home.

And it seems that Olaf
Olafsen, the real Olaf that is,

is doing the same
for Bunny Kelly,

who's accompanied by
Gretchen Wasserman.

Now, the terrain ahead is rising
steeply and is gonna be very hard going.

But it'll be very
interesting for us to see

if this plucky little
lady will survive it.

(INAUDIBLE)

(INAUDIBLE)

Hi, Mary. Hi, Tattoo.

Hi, Thomas. How's your leg?

A lot better.

Doc said we can go back to our own side of
the island soon and I can go back to work.

What's wrong, Tattoo?

Oh, nothing.

I've just been all around the island
talking to people who want Patrick.

What's bad about that?

Oh, they're all very nice people and
I'm not saying anything against them.

But.

Well, I don't know if
they can afford what

his mother wanted him to have.

That's why Mary
and I didn't apply.

With me out of
work and all, I...

Well, I know what you mean.

You know, some of
the people are very nice,

but it would take all their
money just to clothe Patrick.

But they'd still like
to have him anyway.

Mom, Dad, look, $5.

I sold the ukulele you
made for me to a tourist.

You sold a ukulele your
father made for you? For $5?

Gee, I'm sorry.

But I really want
a baseball mitt.

All the other kids on the team
have one and... Well, I need one.

It's all right, Son.

It was his and he had a right
to do what he wanted with it.

Thanks, Dad.

Kids.

Patrick, I don't know
what I'm gonna do with you.

Some people can give you one thing,
others cannot. But I promise you one thing,

I'm gonna do my best to find
you the best home in the world.

And that's a promise.

This is Bob Seagren at the
Fantasy Island Marathon.

The contestants are on the
last leg of the bicycle race.

And here they come now. Digging
in and approaching the finish

of this 50-mile grueling event.

And it looks like the Clean
Machine in first position,

with Bruno Grass a close second.

Boris Smolensk, third,
Kintata, fourth, and, yes,

it's that game little Bunny
Kelly in fifth position.

Excellent time.

You have done exceedingly well.

Congratulations,
gentlemen and Miss Kelly.

The concluding events of the
marathon will begin tomorrow at dawn.

Well, meanwhile food and shelter
have been provided for your night's rest.

Sleep well, though.

Today was a piece of
cake compared to tomorrow.

Oh. Oh.

ROARKE: Do sleep well, hmm?

Excuse me.

GRETCHEN: Oh, Bunny, honey.

Come on. We've got
to talk about strategy.

Oh, you were just wonderful, just
wonderful. How are you feeling, honey?

(SIGHS)

Am I standing up or lying down?

Well, you're standing.

Good.

Oh, Bunny, you can't
stay there, honey.

Up, up.

You gotta get up
and move around.

Up, up.

Or your muscles will tighten.

Excuse me, may I try?

Well, yeah.

Uh, sure.

Miss Kelly? Bunny, I think
your performance today

was one of the most courageous
things I've ever seen in sports.

Do you really think
so, Clean Machine?

Oh, yes, I do. I also think
you should try and get up now.

You can get up, can't you?

I'll try. Please.

I'll try.

Well, it appears our
opponents like each other.

They obviously don't
realize that winners

cannot afford to make
friends of the competition.

And that's a mistake we're
not about to make, right, Doc?

Winning is the only morality.

But just to ensure
as an added edge,

we shall make some small adjustments
in our friends' accommodation.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)

Tattoo, where have you been?
I've been looking all over for you.

I've been all around the island

talking to people to
fill this application.

Oh, yes.

I must have done about
100 miles. But it was worth it.

Now we don't have
to worry about Patrick.

Really? You've got the
right people for him already?

Why, that's fabulous.
Who is the lucky couple?

Boss, can I talk to you?

What about?

About you... About you and me...

Uh-huh.

Tattoo,

I think I know what name
is on that application.

Boss,

this is my name.

I want Patrick.

You see, I thought about it. I
mean, what's the best for him?

Why not stay here with me? I
mean, he loves me and I love him.

Tattoo, do you actually feel ready
for such a step as fatherhood?

It's a grave
responsibility, you know.

I am, boss.

I mean, single people are
adopting kids all over the place.

I see.

Boss,

is it because of my size?

Oh, no, no, no, my friend, no.

Externals, like size,
are not important, no.

Then I can be the
man for the job.

I don't have to be a
giant to have a big heart.

Patrick will always see me as
somebody big, somebody tall.

Tattoo, if you devote
the same amount of effort

and diligence to Patrick as you
do to your job, then all I can say is,

congratulations, Dad.

Boss, do you mean
it? I can have Patrick.

Of course I mean it. If
that's really what you want.

Boss, excuse me, but I've got
to go. I've got to go tell Patrick.

Boss?

Today is the best day in my life.
Thank you. Thank you very much.

(GRETCHEN SCREAMING)

(ALL GROANING)

Is everybody okay here?

Yes, everyone.

Our lean-to has also collapsed.

But we can use some of these
palm fronds and make extra shelter.

But, Olaf, I need
hands. Come on.

(GRETCHEN AND BUNNY SCREAMING)

GRETCHEN: Don't leave!
Olaf, you can't leave! Olaf!

BUNNY: I wanna go home.

GRETCHEN: Oh,
Olaf, get back here!

Oh, there you are. I've been
looking everywhere for you.

Olaf built a lean-to for us.

Hey, what's the matter?

I can't go through
with it, Gretch.

I'm so tired, my hair hurts.

And the tough
events are tomorrow.

It's just no use.

Bunny Kelly, that is not the kind
of talk I wanna hear from a woman

who hit two grand-slam home
runs at the company picnic.

The pitcher was full of beer.

And you were full of beans. I
mean, what happened to them?

Where are your beans now?

Beans don't win
marathons. Muscles do.

And Eugene, Sir Freddy and
that creep Bruno got all of them.

Oh, sure. And you're just
a feeble, dumb old woman

only good for cooking,
cleaning, opening cans.

I never said that.

I mean, after all, none of the
guys at the factory did doodley

about trying to
save the business.

Took us two women
to think of that.

And now it's gonna take
one of us, you, to pull it off.

And all I hear, all I
hear is, "I can't do it.

"My muscles aren't big enough."

Well, they aren't. Look.

Oh, honey, it's not beef that
wins marathons, it's endurance.

And there ain't a man
alive who could put up

with as much as the
littlest woman in the world.

And if you don't believe me...

I mean, just imagine some musclemen
carrying around a baby for nine months.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Yeah, I guess we
do have stamina.

Right on, sister. And
guts. Don't you forget them.

Okay, you got me. I'll give it
my best shot in the morning.

And win, lose or pass out,

those yahoos are gonna know
they've been in a race with a woman.

Aw, that's my champ.

But I hurt.

Now go get some shut-eye, huh?

Come on, you can do it.

Okay.

Big Beaver Barbells.
Remember that.

I heard what you said.
You were magnificent.

Ah, it wasn't that great.

Yes, you were. No, I wasn't.

Yes, you were. Stop.

Hey, what are you doing
out here? Spying on me?

No. I wasn't spying.

I was taking care of you.

In case some jungle animal
would come out at night.

Taking care of me? Ha!

(SCOFFS)

Olaf, I'm sorry. I am.

It was really very
nice of you, it was.

How about walking
me to the lean-to?

All right.

I mean, just in case

Bigfoot decides to come out
of the jungle or something, huh?

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

Tattoo, can I take
Patrick for a walk?

Not right now. But if you don't
mind, can you refill his bottle, please?

Sure. When I come back, can I
see if Patrick needs a change?

Maybe. If you're very careful.

Oh, Tattoo, I am
so happy for you.

Me, too. I'm sure Patrick
will make you a proud father.

I hope so.

With me not working yet, we couldn't
afford to buy him anything, so I...

I made this myself.
I hope it's okay.

Oh, it's beautiful.

I'm sure that's gonna be
the best present he ever had.

Congratulations again
on becoming a father.

I bet you're gonna
make a great daddy.

I hope so.

Mary, can I ask you a question?

You have a lot of kids. What
does it mean to you to be a parent?

Oh...

Gee, that's a tough one, Tattoo.

Well, I guess for starters, it's the
most wonderful job I've ever had.

Maybe I can explain
that a bit better.

A long time ago, when
Kiko was just a little boy,

he got lost at the
Fantasy Island Carnival.

Oh, we looked for
him everywhere.

Well, finally I found him and
he was crying his heart out.

He was so lost and alone.

Well, Tattoo, when he
looked up and saw me...

Well, the expression on
his face would have told you

everything there is to
know about being a mother.

Mary, that's a beautiful
story. Thank you both.

(GURGLING)

The time has come.

On your marks,

get set.

(GUN FIRES)

FUNK: Go, Bruno!
Get up that hill!

MAN: Go! Go!

Pull yourself up there, Bunny!

Go, Bruno! Up, up, up!

FUNK: You're doing great, baby!

Up!

Grab the rope! Grab the rope!

FUNK: Keep going!
You're winning!

MAN: Watch out for
the... FUNK: Keep going!

MAN: Look out!

OLAF: What a shame! That's
okay, Bunny. Go! Keep going!

Then there were three.

It's been cut.

GRETCHEN: Go, Bunny!

FUNK: Go, Bruno!

BOY 1: I'm gonna
get you out this time.

BOY 2: No, you aren't.
Come on. Come on.

Base hit.

Here it comes. Yeah!

(ALL CHEERING)

Scott's up.

Okay, here we
go. Come on, Scott.

BOY 1: Hit the ball.

Oh, that's out.

(ALL GROANING)

I don't know why I let
you play in the first place.

Without a glove, you're about as much
good as a screen door on a submarine.

You couldn't even make water boy

on my Little League
team back home.

Hey, kid, why
don't you be quiet?

Let's see if you can
hit as well as you talk.

Kiko, come here, please.

Kiko, I thought you
were gonna buy a glove.

I couldn't do it.

I don't understand.

Well, my little brother, Tommy,

he's back home on
our side of the island.

Anyway, he needed some new
shoes so he could start the first grade.

I mean, I thought the glove
was all what you wanted to have.

I don't mind, really.

Tommy's my brother and
someday when I'll need something,

maybe Tommy will help me out.
That's what being a family is all about.

(SIGHS)

Patrick, maybe money
is not everything, after all.

BOB: Now with Sir Freddy and
Kintata out of the competition,

the race for the
hang gliders is on.

And it looks like Eugene is
gaining the lead from up here.

BUNNY: Okay, what do I do?

Get into your harness. How?

Like this.

Okay, I can figure it
out. Good luck, Eugene.

Thanks.

Get lost, sister. This
ain't no place for a dame.

Oh, really?

BOB: Well, it looks like
the Clean Machine is first off.

And there goes Bruno,
a perfect take-off.

Bruno is using a scientifically
aerodynamic glider

designed by Dr. Funk himself, to
accommodate Bruno's great bulk.

(LAUGHING)

There goes Bunny Kelly. She's on
the edge. Look at that cliff looming up.

I want to tell you
hang gliding can be

suicidal if you don't
know what you're doing.

Wait, she's having
second thoughts.

But can you blame
her? Look at that cliff.

But she looks determined.
There she goes.

And there she goes. Bunny Kelly took
a tremendous risk in this event, folks.

Smolensk is now taking off. Something
is wrong with his glider. It's folding up.

Onward. Two to go.

That'll put him out
of the competition.

That'll leave only
Grass, Bodine and Kelly

winging their way
down to the next event.

Eugene Bodine in
for a perfect landing.

Then Grass. And here
comes little Bunny Kelly.

She seems to be a little off
target. No, no, she's gonna make it.

Whoo! Incredible.

I did it. I did
it. I really did it.

I don't believe it.

BOB: And there they go, off on the
grueling run to the obstacle course.

Bunny Kelly is battling incredible
odds, ladies and gentlemen.

Little Bunny Kelly
from Beaver Falls, PA.

Tattoo,

you were supposed to be at the
house an hour ago for the signing

of the adoption papers.

I know, boss. But I
wanted to be away.

I wanted to be by myself.

But doesn't the signing of those
papers mean a great deal to you?

Yes, it does. It does,

but I don't think I'm
ready to sign them now.

Oh, well, I understand
if you're nervous.

Anyone would be if he were
about to become a father.

Oh, it's not that, boss.

Well, then what exactly
is troubling you, Tattoo?

Well, you remember when I told
you that here on Fantasy Island,

I could give Patrick
everything he needed?

Of course I remember.

Here we can give the boy
everything money can buy.

A fine house to live in,
the best schools to go to

and all the luxuries
we can bestow on him.

Boss, I was wrong.

I thought that all the things money
could buy were the important things.

There is something
I cannot give Patrick.

And what is that?

A mother, a sister,
a brother, a family.

Yes, I must admit there is no
substitute for a mother's love,

even here on Fantasy Island.

Boss, I love Patrick more
than anything in the whole world.

But he needs a home.

Every kid needs a home.
I know that since I'm a kid.

When the others used to kid me
around, I knew I could go home.

My mother never made any
difference between my brother or sisters.

She made me happy.
She made me feel good.

She made me feel like I belong.

I want the same
thing for Patrick.

I see. Do you have a
particular family in mind, Tattoo?

Maybe. I don't want
to give him away.

But I want what's best for him.

Oh, boss, I'm all mixed up. I
don't know... What should I do?

Well, it is said that the greatest
difficulty we have in our lives

is making choices.

And I'm afraid, my friend,

that this choice is for you
and you alone to make.

BOB: And there they go, deep into
the twisting rough dangerous jungle trail,

which will lead them to a
final 100-yard dash for victory.

Now since we cannot maintain camera
coverage in the dense overgrowth,

we will wait for
them at the finish line.

So hold your breath
and wish them luck.

They're all game and
formidable competitors.

(GRUNTING)

(PANTING)

(GROWLING)

I hope I'm right.

I believe this is the
correct path to victory.

What about the others?

I'm sure Mr. Roarke will send
out a search party for them.

After all, it is a nasty bit of
jungle they mistakenly ran into.

Well, it looks like the Clean Machine
now has a clear path to the finish line.

Yes, with only a
short distance to go...

Wait, what is this?
Bunny Kelly's in trouble.

Ow. Eugene!

Bunny, are you all...

BOB: I don't believe it. Eugene
Bodine, victory was in his grasp.

Go ahead, Eugene.
I can't hop that far.

Oh, neither can I.

(GROANING)

Hey, wait a minute.

Maybe we can make it together.

BOB: Strange. This should be
Bruno's big opportunity to win the race.

But he's nowhere to be seen.

Wait a minute. Sit down. What?

There's something wrong. We should
have been at the finish line by now.

(ROARING)

Ha! There we go. The
roar of the crowd, my boy.

Triumph awaits us
behind yonder bush.

(SCREAMING)

Nice kitty. Nice kitty.

BRUNO: What do you
mean, "kitty, kitty, kitty"?

BOTH: Let's go for it.

BOB: Will you look at this?
They are pooling their resources.

This is incredible, folks.

(ALL CHEERING)

The Fantasy Island Marathon is gonna
be won by Bodine and Kelly together.

May I present this trophy?

You both are very
well deserving of this.

Thank you.

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

Hello, Tattoo. Hi.

I see you are already
packed to go home.

Yes.

We're gonna miss you.

And I will miss you, Tattoo.

Where's Kiko? Where's Thomas?

Oh, they've already
gone back to our island.

I stayed behind because I wanted to
thank you and Mr. Roarke before I left.

If you hadn't let me come here
and work when my Thomas got hurt,

I don't know what we would
have done to make ends meet.

The boss and I were
very happy to do so.

Wait, wait. Mary, sit down.

Can I ask you a
personal question?

Sure.

Would you...

Would you...

Would you share
yourself with Patrick?

Well, you know
how you and Thomas

wanted to adopt Patrick
and you were afraid to do so

because you thought
you couldn't afford it?

Yes.

You have so much
to offer for him.

Much more than
anything money can buy.

Do you understand?

Oh, Tattoo. You're so wonderful.

Well, ready to leave, Mary?

Oh, yes. I'm just
waiting for Tattoo.

Oh, where is Tattoo?
Well, he's in his room.

He wanted to say
goodbye to Patrick alone.

Oh, I see.

Mr. Roarke, how did you always
know he was going to give us the baby?

Well, I felt he would after
he had thought it over.

You see, Tattoo
is a very kind man

and I always knew he would do
what was really best for the baby.

Patrick, you don't know
what I'm saying now.

But someday you will.

This letter will
tell you how I feel.

You see, son, life can
be really hard sometimes.

Things can happen that just
don't seem fair. I know about them.

Everybody does. They
happen to all of us.

The worst time are
when thing goes wrong,

and you're all alone
with nobody to help you.

And so, Patrick, that's the story of
what happened while you were here.

And, son, always remember
that everything I have is yours

and anything you
want will be yours.

I will always love you

and you can always come
here and have a home with me.

Remember that. I love
you, Patrick. Goodbye.

Bye, Patrick.

Put this over here.

There you are. Now
you're gonna come with me.

Okay?

I don't know how to thank
you and Tattoo, Mr. Roarke.

Not only do we have the prize
money, the trophy and the publicity,

but we also have each other.

Big Beaver Barbells is
safe, Mr. Roarke. Thank you.

And I, too, am safe, Mr. Roarke.
Because I have Gretchen.

Oh. And I'm safe,
too, you big meatloaf.

Goodbye, Mr. Roarke. Thank you.

Goodbye. Thank you.

Goodbye. Bye, Tattoo.

Pleasant journey
home. Thank you.

Well, my friend, shouldn't we wave
goodbye to our other fantasizer?

Patrick? But he's already gone.

Almost. But perhaps there's still
time for one final look if we hurry.

Goodbye, Patrick.

Son, always
remember, I love you.