Fantasy Island (1977–1984): Season 2, Episode 21 - Yesterday's Love/Fountain of Youth - full transcript
A set of siblings send their parents, on the brink of divorce, to the island hoping they'll rediscover their love; and a wealthy, dying old man embarks on a search for the legendary Fountain of Youth.
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
THE PLANE! THE PLANE!
[HICCUPS]
[HICCUPPING]
TATTOO, DON'T TELL ME
YOU STILL HAVE THE HICCUPS.
I DO BOSS. [HICCUPS]
I TRIED EVERYTHING,
BUT I CAN'T GET
RID OF IT. [HICCUPS]
WELL, THAT'S ODD. BREATHING
INTO A BROWN PAPER BAG
ALWAYS TURNED THE TRICK FOR ME.
MAY I SEE YOUR BAG?
NO WONDER. LOOK.
OH, WHO IS THAT?
[POPS]
BOSS! WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?
TO FRIGHTEN AWAY THE HICCUPS.
YOU ALMOST SCARED ME TO DEATH!
BUT I ALSO SCARED AWAY
THE HICCUPS, DIDN'T I? HUH?
YES! FORMIDABLE! YOU DID, BOSS!
THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
NOW SHALL WE GO MEET
OUR INCOMING GUESTS?
SMILES, EVERYONE! SMILES!
BOSS, WHO ARE THEY?
[ROARKE] MR. AND MRS.
ATWOOD, CHARLES AND PEGGY,
ALL THE WAY FROM SALINA, KANSAS,
WHERE THEY OWN A HARDWARE STORE.
[TATTOO] WHY DO THEY
LOOK SO UNHAPPY?
BECAUSE NEITHER OF THEM
WANTS TO BE HERE, TATTOO.
HOW COME THEY ARE HERE?
THEY CAME HERE TO PLEASE
THEIR THREE CHILDREN,
WHO PURCHASED THE
FANTASY FOR THEIR PARENTS.
TO MAKE THEIR PARENTS MISERABLE?
NO, TATTOO. THEY WANT US TO
RECREATE THE ROMANTIC WEEKEND
35 YEARS AGO WHEN
MR. AND MRS. ATWOOD MET,
FELL IN LOVE, AND WERE MARRIED.
IT OCCURRED DURING ONE OF THE MOST
DYNAMIC ERAS IN AMERICAN HISTORY...
1944, WHEN WORLD WAR
TWO WAS IN FULL SWING.
IT'S A PRETTY ROMANTIC IDEA.
AH, BUT THERE IS ONE
SLIGHT HITCH, TATTOO.
IN TRUTH, MR. AND MRS. ATWOOD,
WHEN THEY RETURN HOME,
ARE GOING TO GET A DIVORCE.
AH.
CAPTAIN JEFF BAILEY,
PERHAPS THE WORLD'S MOST FAMOUS
ADVENTURER AND
SOLDIER OF FORTUNE.
AND ONE OF MY
FAVORITE HEROES TOO.
AND RIGHTLY SO, TATTOO.
CAPT. BAILEY IS KNOWN AS THE
MAN WITH A THOUSAND ADVENTURES.
[TATTOO] WHAT'S HIS FANTASY?
[ROARKE] HIS FANTASY
IS TO EARN $1,000,000,000
- BEFORE MONDAY MORNING.
- IS THAT POSSIBLE?
PERHAPS, WHEN THE MAN HE WILL
BE WORKING FOR IS J.D. PETTIGREW,
AND CAPT. BAILEY'S
JOB WILL BE TO FIND
THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH.
MY DEAR GUESTS,
I AM MR. ROARKE, YOUR HOST.
WELCOME TO FANTASY ISLAND.
AH, MR. ATWOOD,
SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.
HOW'S IT FEEL TO
BE BACK IN UNIFORM?
UNCOMFORTABLE, MR. ROARKE.
IT'S NOT THAT MY WEIGHT
HAS CHANGED THAT MUCH.
IT'S MERELY SHIFTED POSITION,
IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
[LAUGHS] INDEED I DO!
AH, HERE COMES
YOUR LOVELY PARTNER.
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, MADAME.
IT'S MADEMOISELLE, TATTOO.
SINCE THIS IS FOR ALL
PRACTICAL PURPOSES
THAT SPECIAL WEEKEND IN 1944,
WE SHALL PROCEED ON THE THEORY
THAT THE TWO OF YOU ARE NOT YET MARRIED.
THAT EXPLAINS WHY I BILLETED
YOU IN SEPARATE HOUSES.
THAT'S FINE.
PEG, WHERE DID YOU GET
THAT LETTERMAN SWEATER?
OH, I FOUND IT
HANGING IN THE CLOSET,
ALONG WITH THE
REST OF THIS GETUP.
WELL IF I DIDN'T KNOW BETTER,
I WOULD SAY THAT
THAT IS HIS SWEATER.
DO YOU MEAN MR. BRICK HOWARD, MRS.
ATWOOD'S FORMER FIANCEE AND B.M.O.C.?
HOW DO YOU KNOW
ABOUT BRICK HOWARD?
IT IS MY BUSINESS TO
KNOW, MR. ATWOOD.
I AM BEING PAID RATHER HANDSOMELY
TO RECREATE A VERY IMPORTANT
TIME FRAME IN YOUR TWO LIVES.
MR. BRICK HOWARD AND
MANY OF YOUR FORMER FRIENDS
FROM THAT PERIOD
ARE HERE ON THE ISLAND.
HAVEN'T YOU NOTICED?
[CHARLES] IT IS BRICK HOWARD.
HE REALLY LOOKS
GREAT, DOESN'T HE?
YEAH. JUST GREAT.
ARE YOU FOLKS READY TO GO?
- WHERE?
- WHERE ELSE? TO
THE SALINA, KANSAS USO,
WHERE THE TWO OF YOU
ORIGINALLY FELL IN LOVE.
SHALL WE?
[CHARLES] IT'S INCREDIBLE!
I DON'T BELIEVE IT!
[PEGGY] I DON'T
BELIEVE IT EITHER.
EVERYTHING'S EXACTLY THE
SAME AS IT WAS THEN, 35 YEARS AGO.
HOW DID YOU DO IT, MR. ROARKE?
PRIVILEGED INFORMATION.
THIS IS WHERE WE PART
COMPANY, AT LEAST FOR NOW.
ENJOY YOURSELVES.
- MAY I ASK YOU
A QUESTION, PLEASE?
- SHOOT.
THERE IS SOMETHING
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
HOW COME A REAL SOLDIER
OF FORTUNE LIKE YOU
CAN WORK FOR SUCH A STINGY
OLD MAN LIKE J.D. PETTIGREW?
TATTOO, THAT'S NO WAY TO
TALK ABOUT ONE OF OUR GUESTS.
IF YOU MUST KNOW, IT'S MONEY.
THAT'S ONE THING
PETTIGREW HAS PLENTY OF.
[KNOCK]
SPEAK OF THE DEVIL. THAT'S
PROBABLY OLD PETTIGREW NOW.
COME IN.
AH, MS. MASON.
MR. PETTIGREW,
SO NICE TO SEE YOU.
NEVER MIND THE
AMENITIES, MR. ROARKE.
NOW THAT MY SECRETARY'S FIANCEE,
THE FAMOUS CAPT.
BAILEY, IS FINALLY HERE,
MAYBE WE CAN GET STARTED.
NICE TO SEE YOU
AGAIN, MR. PETTIGREW.
THE ONLY THING YOU
ENJOY ABOUT SEEING ME
IS THE $1,000,000,000
YOU HOPE I'LL PAY YOU.
THAT DEPENDS ON MR. ROARKE HERE.
THE ONE THING I CAN'T
AFFORD TO WASTE IS TIME.
I WANT SOME ANSWERS
AND I WANT THEM STRAIGHT.
WHEN I'VE HAD THE QUESTIONS,
YOU SHALL HAVE THE ANSWERS.
I LIKE THAT.
ALL RIGHT. A SHORT TIME AGO,
I CAME INTO POSSESSION OF
A CERTAIN CURIOUS OBJECT.
WHAT SORT OF OBJECT?
LET ME HAVE THE ENVELOPE.
BOSS! IT'S A HEAD!
A MAN'S HEAD!
A MOST INTERESTING TROPHY.
MAY I ASK HOW YOU CAME INTO
POSSESSION OF THE ORIGINAL?
THAT IS OF NO CONSEQUENCE!
LET'S SAY I ACQUIRED IT
FROM A FELLOW COLLECTOR.
THE ONLY THINGS THAT DO
MATTER ARE, NUMBER ONE...
IT CAME FROM ONE OF THE
SCATTERED ISLANDS THAT
SURROUND THIS PLACE.
NUMBER TWO... IT HAS
BEEN AUTHENTICATED
AND FOUND TO BE
OVER 150 YEARS OLD,
YET IN PERFECT CONDITION.
AND DO YOU KNOW WHY, MR. ROARKE?
BECAUSE OF THE WATER
IT WAS TREATED IN,
WATER OF MYSTERIOUS,
INDEFINABLE PROPERTIES.
MT TEAM OF SCIENTISTS
IS CONVINCED
IT CAN ONLY HAVE COME FROM
LA FUENTE DE LA JUVENTUD,
THE LEGENDARY FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH.
FASCINATING.
SO NOW YOU KNOW WHY I
AM HERE AND WHAT I AM AFTER.
AND I ASK YOU, DOES THIS
FOUNTAIN REALLY EXIST
AND CAN IT BE FOUND?
OR ARE YOU SOME
SORT OF CHARLATAN?
CHARLATAN?
WE NEVER PROMISE WHAT WE
CAN'T DELIVER, MR. PETTIGREW.
THE FABLED FOUNTAIN
DOES CERTAINLY EXIST.
AS DO ALL THE FANTASIES
OF MAN'S IMAGINATION.
MAY I ALSO WARN YOU ABOUT THE ISLAND
WHERE HE MUST GO TO FIND THE FOUNTAIN?
IT IS SAID THAT THE
TRIBE OF HEADHUNTERS
WHO PRODUCED YOUR, UM, TROPHY
STILL EXIST.
IT MIGHT BE WISER IF YOU AND
YOUR SECRETARY REMAINED HERE
AND LET CAPT. BAILEY TRY ALONE.
[LAUGHS] AND LET HIM RUN
OFF AND SELL THE SECRET
TO SOMEONE ELSE?
NOT ON YOUR LIFE!
HEADHUNTERS OR NO,
HIS LITTLE SWEETHEART
AND I WILL FOLLOW HIM
EVERY STEP OF THE WAY.
SO BE IT.
I JUST HOPE THAT YOU ALL MAKE
IT EVERY STEP OF THE WAY BACK.
[SWING MUSIC PLAYS]
HEY, CHARLIE! PEG!
IT'S ME, WILLIE TUCKER!
- WILLIE!
- I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
WILLIE, MY GOODNESS!
HELLO, WILLIE!
- IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME.
- WILLIE, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
MR. ROARKE INVITED
ME AS YOUR GUEST.
HEY, COME ON, LET'S SIT DOWN.
THANK YOU.
YOU TWO LOOK TERRIFIC.
LIKEWISE.
WHERE'S YOUR
BETTER HALF, WILLIE?
DORIS IS...
DEAD, PEG. ABOUT A YEAR AGO.
HER HEART.
- OH, WILLIE, I'M SO SORRY.
- ME TOO, WILLIE.
WE'RE ALL SO DUMB, WE DON'T APPRECIATE
WHAT WE HAVE UNTIL IT'S TOO LATE.
HEY, I DIDN'T COME ALL THIS
WAY TO PUT A DAMPER ON THINGS.
WE HAD A GREAT LIFE TOGETHER.
CHARLIE, I GOT A GOOD BOY.
HE TEACHES SCHOOL.
WHAT ABOUT YOU TWO?
TWO BOYS AND A GIRL.
ALL MARRIED AS OF LAST MONTH.
WELL, NOW THAT
THE NEST IS EMPTY,
I GUESS YOU TWO ARE
REALLY LIVING IT UP.
HEY, DID I SAY SOMETHING WRONG?
NO, NOTHING, WILLIE.
EVERYTHING'S FINE. SO TO SPEAK.
SO TO SPEAK? WHAT
DOES THAT MEAN?
WELL, IT MEANS, WILLIE, THAT...
CHARLIE AND I ARE...
WELL, WE'RE GETTING A DIVORCE.
YOU'RE PUTTING ME ON!
NOT YOU TWO. NEVER!
NO, IT'S TRUE, WILLIE.
- WHAT HAPPENED?
- NO ONE REASON. JUST...
WELL, AFTER 35
YEARS OF MARRIAGE,
WE JUST RAN OUT
OF GAS. NO SPARKS.
ALL THAT DISTANCE.
I NEVER DREAMED I WAS COMING ALL THE
WAY TO FANTASY ISLAND TO ATTEND A DIVORCE.
HEY, I HEAR BRICK HOWARD'S ON THE
ISLAND. HE JUST GOT HIS THIRD DIVORCE.
IT WOULD BE FUNNY, WOULDN'T IT, IF YOU TWO
GOT TOGETHER AGAIN AFTER ALL THESE YEARS.
[SONG ENDS] [CLAPPING]
[SONG PLAYS]
REMEMBER THAT SONG?
THAT WAS ALWAYS YOUR SONG.
HEY, DO ME A FAVOR, WILL YA?
DANCE TO IT.
ARE YOU PLAYING CUPID, WILLIE?
ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT?
EXCUSE US, WILLIE.
NOW, YOU HAVE MY CHARTS
AND ALL MY INSTRUCTIONS.
I WOULD STILL ADVISE YOU,
MS. MASON AND MR. PETTIGREW,
TO RECONSIDER. THE NATIVES
OF THE ISLAND YOU'RE GOING TO
ARE CONSIDERED QUITE DANGEROUS.
WE'RE WASTING TIME!
I WILL NOT RELINQUISH
COMMAND OF THIS EXPEDITION,
NOT TO BAILEY, NOT TO
ANYONE! NOW LET'S GO!
HAVEN'T WE FORGOTTEN
SOMETHING, MR. PETTIGREW?
HMM? [GRUMBLES]
MY CERTIFIED CHECK
FOR $1,000,000,000
MADE OUT IN BAILEY'S NAME.
BUT BEAR IN MIND, MR. ROARKE,
NOT ONE PENNY IS TO BE TURNED OVER
TO HIM UNLESS HE FULFILLS OUR CONTRACT.
UNLESS WE FIND THE FOUNTAIN
OF YOUTH, HE GETS NOTHING!
FAIR ENOUGH, MR. PETTIGREW.
UNDERSTOOD.
ALL RIGHT, START THE ENGINE. AND BE
QUICK. WE'VE GOT A LONG WAY TO GO.
ALL RIGHT.
BOSS, ARE WE EVER
GONNA SEE THEM AGAIN?
WHO'S TO SAY, TATTOO?
WHO'S TO SAY?
[PETTIGREW] SEE ANYTHING?
[BAILEY] NOTHING. BUT
WE'RE HERE, ALL RIGHT.
THIS IS THE ISLAND
AND THE LAGOON.
ALL THE CHARTS MATCH.
GIVE ME THE PACKS.
[TINA] I HAVE THE FEELING
SOMETHING'S WATCHING US.
[PETTIGREW] I HAVEN'T COME
THIS FAR TO TURN BACK NOW,
NO MATTER WHO'S
THERE, OR WHAT'S THERE.
I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE
UNTIL WE FIND THAT WATER.
ALL RIGHT, THIS WAY.
LET'S MOVE FAST.
- WHAT'S THE MATTER?
- I DON'T KNOW.
SOMETHING'S NOT RIGHT.
JUST BACK AWAY SLOWLY.
THANKS FOR LOANING ME YOUR DATE.
BOY, AM I OUT OF SHAPE!
YOU'RE STILL GOOD,
WILLIE. VERY GOOD.
YOU MAKE ME LOOK GOOD.
PEG TELLS ME YOU OWN A HARDWARE
STORE BACK THERE IN SALINA. VERY GOOD.
IT'LL SOON BE IN THE PAST
TENSE. I'M SELLING THE STORE.
CHARLIE'S GOING
INTO SEMI-RETIREMENT.
HAWAII.
DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE GOING
TO OPEN UP THAT BAIT SHOP
YOU USED TO TALK ABOUT
WHEN WE WERE IN THE NAVY.
YOU HAVE GOT A REAL MEMORY.
HEY, YOU DON'T NEED
A PARTNER, DO YOU?
SORRY, WILLIE, BUT THIS IS
STRICTLY A ONE-MAN OPERATION.
I KNOW IT'S NONE OF MY
BUSINESS, BUT YOU AND PEG...
ALL THIS TALK ABOUT A DIVORCE...
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GONNA SAY.
I DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN HAWAII.
SALINA'S MY HOME. ALWAYS
HAS BEEN AND ALWAYS WILL BE.
YEAH, BUT HAWAII. HAVE
YOU EVER BEEN THERE?
OH, YES. CHARLIE'S TAKEN
ME THERE SEVERAL TIMES.
IT IS A BEAUTIFUL PLACE,
BUT MY ROOTS ARE IN SALINA.
CHILDREN, THE GRANDCHILDREN.
MEMORIES.
[SONG ENDS]
[NEW SONG STARTS]
[MAN] FOLKS, THIS
IS THE LAST DANCE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S
THAT TIME ALREADY.
CARE TO DANCE, PEG?
YES.
ARE YOU LOOKING FOR SOMEONE?
I JUST THOUGHT MAYBE
BRICK MIGHT BE HERE.
I GUESS ALL OF OUR LIVES WOULD HAVE
BEEN VERY DIFFERENT, WOULDN'T THEY,
IF YOU TWO HAD GOTTEN MARRIED?
REMIND ME TO TELL YOU SOMETIME
THAT YOU ARE STILL
A VERY GOOD DANCER.
IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME.
YES, IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME.
FOR LOTS OF THINGS, CHARLIE.
[TRIBAL DRUMMING]
[CHANTING]
YOU DIE!
JEFF, I'M SCARED.
LOOKS LIKE WE'RE ALL
SHRUNKEN HEAD CANDIDATES.
YOU! BIG FELLA! CHIEF!
WE COME AS FRIENDS.
GREAT WHITE CHIEF BRING MAGIC.
MAGIC BOX. BIG STRONG MAGIC!
[SCREAMS]
[TRIBESMEN CLAMOR]
MAGIC!
EVEN STRONGER MAGIC.
I HAVE HIS SOUL,
HIS SPIRIT CAPTURED.
IT IS TRUE. LOOK. IT IS TRUE.
IF THE PRIEST BOTHERS
US, I WILL KEEP HIS SOUL.
WHY YOU BRING MAGIC?
COME TO THIS VILLAGE?
TO SEE YOUR MAGIC WATER.
I KNOW YOU HAVE IT.
COME.
THIS MUST BE IT.
I THINK WE HAVE FOUND IT.
THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH!
IT IS CALLED THE DEW OF LIFE.
ONCE IT RAN FULL AND BROAD.
NOW, ONLY A FEW DROPS EACH DAY.
CHIEF, PRIESTS, AND ELDERS ALLOWED
TO DRINK NOW AND THEN TO STAY ALIVE.
HOW OLD ARE YOU?
ME?
140.
SOME, 200 YEARS, 300.
OH!
THIS WATER, I WOULD
BUY SOME OF IT.
I WILL PAY YOU MONEY.
ALL THE MONEY YOU WANT!
SILVER MONEY! GOLD!
GOLD NOT MAKE MAN YOUNG.
BUT YOU MUST SHARE IT.
I DON'T WANT IT ALL.
JUST A LITTLE. JUST A LITTLE.
WATER GIFT OF GODS.
NOT SELL FOR GOLD.
OH! OH!
I WILL HAVE THIS WATER!
NO!
YOU MUSTN'T KILL
GREAT WHITE CHIEF.
HIS MAGIC WILL KILL YOU ALL.
I WILL HAVE... I WILL HAVE...!
YOU GO!
NEVER COME BACK, OR YOU DIE!
[HICCUPPING]
BOSS, BOSS, YOU GOTTA HELP ME.
THE HICCUP IS BACK.
YES, SO I HEAR. [TSK TSK]
THE REMEDY I GAVE
YOU DIDN'T WORK, HUH?
NO. THE ONLY THE I'VE
GOT IS A BUMP IN THE HEAD.
FROM HOLDING YOUR BREATH?
I HELD IT SO LONG THAT FAINTED.
[HICCUPPING]
YOU KNOW WHAT WAS
SO GREAT ABOUT 1944
WAS WE WERE TOO YOUNG
TO WORRY ABOUT THE FUTURE.
THE ONLY THING THAT WAS
IMPORTANT WAS NOW, TODAY.
LET TOMORROW
TAKE CARE OF ITSELF.
MMM.
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT?
THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE
WHEN YOU SAW YOUR ELDEST
SON FOR THE FIRST TIME.
TOMMY TOOK ONE LOOK AT ME
AND STARTED BAWLING HIS HEAD OFF.
[LAUGHS] YOU WERE
A TOTAL STRANGER.
TOMMY WAS WHAT, A YEAR
OLD BEFORE YOU EVER SAW HIM.
13 MONTHS. I DIDN'T THINK THE
NAVY WOULD EVER SHIP ME HOME.
I'M GLAD THEY DID. I WAS PARTICULARLY
GRATEFUL YOU WERE AROUND
WHEN SCOTTY GOT SO SICK.
I REMEMBER THE
DOCTOR SAYING "POLIO."
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
I REMEMBER WHAT WE DID.
WE GOT DOWN ON OUR KNEES
RIGHT THERE IN THE HOSPITAL ROOM
AND ASKED GOD TO SPARE SCOTTY.
IT REALLY WAS A
MIRACLE, CHARLIE.
NOT EVEN A LIMP.
WE HAD SO MUCH GOING
FOR US IN THOSE DAYS, PEG,
BUT WHERE DID IT GO?
[HORN HONKS]
ALL RIGHT, YOU TWO,
ENOUGH OF THIS EXCLUSIVITY!
WE'RE ALL GOING SWIMMING, AND
YOU'RE BOTH GONNA GO WITH US.
[SWING MUSIC PLAYS]
♪ ♪
PEG.
STILL AS BEAUTIFUL AS EVER.
COME ON! COME ON!
I NEVER THOUGHT WE'D
GET OUT OF THERE ALIVE.
I KEEP THINKING
THEY'RE WATCHING US.
I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT.
IN FACT, I KNOW YOU ARE.
LOOK! LOOK WHERE THE
WATER TOUCHED MY HAND!
IT'S LIKE MY SKIN
WHEN I WAS YOUNG!
UNBELIEVABLE!
IT'S INCREDIBLE.
I COULD BE THAT WAY
ALL OVER, YOUNG AGAIN!
IF I ONLY HAD A LITTLE
MORE OF THE WATER.
BAILEY, I WILL DOUBLE MY OFFER.
$2,000,000,000 FOR ONE
CANTEEN OF THE WATER!
THAT'S INSANE! THEY'LL KILL US
ALL IF WE DON'T GET OFF THE ISLAND!
- COME ON.
- $3,000,000,000!
YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF A DEAL.
$3,000,000,000, PAYABLE ON OUR RETURN.
YES! YES!
ARE YOU BOTH CRAZY?
YOU HEARD HIM. FOR $3,000,000,000
I'D GO TO HELL AND BACK.
TAMA, HAND ME THE
CANTEEN AND MY PISTOL.
YES, SIR.
TINA, GET ABOARD THE BOAT.
ALL RIGHT, NOW YOU
LISTEN CAREFULLY.
WATCH FOR ME ON THE BEACH.
WHEN YOU SEE ME,
START THE BOAT ENGINE.
I'LL TRY AND SWIM OUT TO YOU.
IF I DON'T MAKE IT,
YOU KEEP GOING.
DON'T WAIT FOR ANYTHING, GOT IT?
- YOU GOT IT.
- GOT IT.
OKAY.
ONE MORE POINT AND I WIN. READY?
READY.
OUT.
21. I WIN.
JUST LIKE THE GOOD OLD DAYS. I
NEVER WAS ANY GOOD AT SPORTS.
SPEAKING OF SPORTS...
GOOD AFTERNOON. I'M SURE YOU
ALL REMEMBER BRICK HOWARD.
BRICK.
HOW COULD THEY FORGET THAT PEG
AND I WERE ENGAGED TO BE MARRIED?
HOW ARE YOU, PEG?
FINE, BRICK, AND YOU?
NEVER BETTER. YOU STILL
MARRIED TO THIS SWABBIE?
SHE IS.
WIN A FEW, LOSE A FEW.
HEY, WILLIE, HOW ARE YOU?
OKAY, BRICK.
I IMAGINE YOU HAVE A
GREAT DEAL TO TALK ABOUT,
SO IF YOU'LL KINDLY EXCUSE ME.
ME TOO.
YOU'RE LOOKING
MIGHTY PRETTY, PEG.
OH, THANKS...
I SEE YOU'RE STILL WEARING
MY LETTERMAN SWEATER.
SHE WAS COLD.
IT WAS THE ONLY
ONE ON THE CLOSET.
LET THE LADY SPEAK FOR
HERSELF, CHUCK BABY.
THE NAME IS CHARLES.
WHY SO HOSTILE? WE HAVEN'T SEEN
EACH OTHER IN HOW MANY YEARS?
WELL, AREN'T YOU GONNA
ASK ME WHAT I'VE BEEN DOING?
OH. WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING?
I'M AN AIRLINE PILOT.
THE BIGGIE, 747.
- FROM L.A. TO PARIS FRANCE.
- OH, HOW NICE.
OH, MR. ROARKE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT
YOU OPENING A BAIT SHOP IN HAWAII? HAH.
CAN'T CUT IT IN THE
BIG CITY, HUH, CHAZ?
OH, BRICK, WHY DON'T WE DANCE?
- SHALL WE?
- YOU GOT IT, BABY.
AH, GOOD AFTERNOON, MR. ATWOOD.
- NOT REALLY.
- SOMETHING IS WRONG?
THAT FLYBOY YOU BROUGHT
OVER TO THE USO, BRICK HOWARD,
HE'S WHAT'S WRONG.
I'M AFRAID I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, MR. ROARKE.
IT'S JUST THAT I NEVER COULD
COMPETE AGAINST MR. EVERYTHING.
NOBODY COULD.
COMPETE AGAINST HIM FOR WHAT?
PEG. SHE COULDN'T WAIT TO GET
OUT ON THAT DANCE FLOOR WITH HIM.
OH.
IT'S BEEN SAID THAT, UM,
JEALOUSY IS BUT A BLISTER ON THE
HEEL OF MATRIMONY, MR. ATWOOD.
IT HAS ALSO BEEN SAID THAT BRICK
HOWARD IS A FIRST-CLASS JERK.
AND I'M THE GUY WHO SAID IT.
BUT ONCE YOU WON PEGGY'S
FAVOR OVER HIS, DIDN'T YOU?
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
YOU CAN'T DO IT AGAIN?
I'M 54 YEARS OLD. I'M
NOT THE GUY I ONCE WAS.
BRICK HOWARD IS
ALSO 54, ISN'T HE?
YES, BUT HE DOESN'T LOOK IT.
AT LEAST NOT TO ME.
WELL, YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY FEELING
SORRY FOR YOURSELF, MR. ATWOOD.
MY ADVICE WOULD BE FOR YOU
TO STAND UP AND FIGHT FOR PEGGY.
IF THAT IS WHAT YOU REALLY WANT.
GOOD AFTERNOON, MR. ATWOOD.
COME HERE OFTEN?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU
TO STAY ON BOARD.
- I'M COMING WITH YOU.
- ARE YOU CRAZY?
YEAH, PROBABLY. BUT YOU
CAN'T PULL THIS OFF BY YOURSELF.
IT'S THE ONLY WAY I CAN
PULL IT OFF. NOW GO BACK.
I'M NOT GOING BACK! LISTEN, I'VE
HANDLED GUNS ALL MY LIFE AND I'M GOOD.
- OKAY. BUT IF THIS THING BACKFIRES...
- IT WON'T.
NOW WHY DON'T YOU BEGIN PRACTICING
THE POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING?
BECAUSE I KEEP THINKING
ABOUT THOSE NATIVES
WITH TWO MORE SHRUNKEN
HEADS TO THEIR CREDIT, THAT'S WHY.
- STILL WANT TO GO?
- MM-HMM.
COME ON.
COME ON, CHARLIE, CHEER UP.
WHAT FOR? PEG'S GONE OFF
WITH THAT LEECH OF A PLAYBOY.
WRONG.
MIND IF I SIT DOWN?
IT'S NOT TOO ORIGINAL,
BUT THERE'S AN OLD SAYING
THAT THREE'S A CROWD. GOOD LUCK.
- NOW, ABOUT THIS AFTERNOON...
- PEG, YOU DON'T OWE ME ANY EXPLANATION.
MR. ROARKE PRONOUNCED US
SINGLE FOR THE WEEKEND, REMEMBER?
CHARLIE, I GRABBED BRICK
AND STARTED DANCING WITH HIM
TO PREVENT WHAT WAS RAPIDLY
DETERIORATING INTO A FIGHT.
I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO GET HURT.
I REPEAT, YOU DON'T
OWE ME ANY APOLOGIES.
I SUPPOSE IF ANYONE
SHOULD APOLOGIZE,
IT SHOULD BE ME.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
OUR LIFE TOGETHER.
I GUESS I ALWAYS KNEW THAT
IT WAS A ONE-SIDED LOVE AFFAIR.
I TOOK ADVANTAGE OF YOU BY MARRYING
YOU ON THE REBOUND FROM BRICK.
IT WASN'T FAIR.
I LOVED YOU SO MUCH,
I GUESS I HOPED THAT IN TIME...
IRONIC, ISN'T IT?
THIS CORNBALL LUAU.
YOU KNOW, THIS IS WHERE WE
FIRST THOUGHT WE WERE IN LOVE.
I THINK THAT'S WHAT TURNED ME
ON TO HAWAII IN THE FIRST PLACE.
SOMEHOW I JUST GOT
IT FIXED IN MY HEAD...
YOU AND ME, AND THE LUAU...
TWO DAYS LATER I
WAS OFF TO THE WAR.
YOU KNOW, THAT WAS THE
LAST TIME WE WERE ALONE,
JUST YOU AND ME.
THERE WERE THE KIDS, AND...
- CHARLIE...
- PEG.
I'M SORRY. I NEVER
MEANT TO HURT YOU.
MAYBE YOU AND BRICK
CAN BE HAPPY NOW.
I WON'T STAND IN YOUR WAY.
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO WITH IT?
- WHAT?
- ALL THAT MONEY. THE $3,000,000,000.
BANK IT, WHERE IT'S SAFE.
WHY DON'T WE SPLURGE ON
AN ACAPULCO HONEYMOON?
WHEN YOU GET TO BE MY AGE AND
CAN'T QUALIFY FOR A CREDIT CARD,
YOU DON'T SPLURGE ON ANYTHING.
YOU'RE JUST CHEAP.
YOU NOTICE ANYTHING
STRANGE ABOUT THE VILLAGE?
- WHAT?
- HARDLY ANY MEN.
MEANS THEY PROBABLY WENT OUT
TO MAKE SURE WE LEFT THE ISLAND.
WHICH MEANS WE
DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME.
WAIT. YOU CAN'T GO DOWN
THERE NOW IN BROAD DAYLIGHT.
WITH THEIR APPETITES I DON'T
WANT TO HANG AROUND FOR DINNER.
JUST STAY HERE. IF ANYTHING
HAPPENS, RUN FOR THE BOAT.
- JUST RUN AND
KEEP RUNNING.
- JEFF!
[SKULLS RATTLE]
COME ON! LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!
- I DROPPED THE GUN
BACK THERE!
- FORGET THE GUN!
COME ON! WE GOTTA MAKE THE BOAT!
OH!
I HURT MY LEG!
OKAY, WE'RE HERE!
START THE ENGINE!
JEFF!
JEFF, I CAN'T MAKE IT! MY LEG!
COME ON, TINA! WE GOT IT MADE!
JEFF! HURRY! I CAN'T!
CANTEEN! SAVE THE CANTEEN!
JEFF, HURRY!
JEFF, SAVE YOURSELF! HURRY!
[PETTIGREW] THE WATER!
THE WATER!
THE WATER! GO BACK! GO BACK.
GO BACK TO THE WATER.
SIR! SIR! ARE YOU ALL
RIGHT? CAN I HELP?
PEG?
OH, I WAS HOPING
YOU'D COME BACK.
PEG, I DON'T...
BUT...
I THOUGHT YOU
WOULD BE WITH BRICK.
OH, CHARLIE.
THERE'S SOMETHING WE REALLY
SHOULD HAVE DISCUSSED 35 YEARS AGO.
THE FACT THAT YOU
MARRIED ME ON THE REBOUND
AFTER BRICK JILTED ME FOR
SOME GENERAL'S DAUGHTER
WHO COULD HELP HIS CAREER.
- LOOK, PEG...
- I GUESS I ALWAYS LET YOU THINK
THAT WAS A LITTLE TRUE.
BUT YOU LOVE HIM.
YOU CAN'T DENY THAT.
I DID LOVE HIM, YES.
AND WHEN HE JILTED
ME I THOUGHT I'D DIE.
AND THEN THERE WAS
YOU. AND I REALIZED
THAT I NEVER KNEW WHAT
LOVE WAS BEFORE YOU.
BUT THAT WAS 35 YEARS AGO.
WHY DID YOU COME
BACK HERE TONIGHT?
I SUDDENLY REMEMBERED
TAKING A VOW
THAT SAYS, "UNTIL
DEATH DO US PART".
YOU MEAN, YOU STILL LOVE ME?
WELL, I'M CERTAINLY NOT
TALKING ABOUT BRICK HOWARD.
HE COULDN'T CARRY
YOUR TACKLE BOX.
TACKLE BOX?
IT IS WHAT YOU CALL IT, ISN'T IT? I
MEAN, I THOUGHT I OUGHT TO START
USING THE OFFICIAL TERMINOLOGY
IF I'M GOING TO HELP
YOU WITH THE BAIT SHOP.
YOU MEAN YOU'RE COMING WITH ME?
BUT WHAT ABOUT SALINA?
OH, SALINA ALREADY
HAS A BAIT SHOP.
PLEASE, LET ME COME.
[SLOW SONG PLAYS]
AH, MR. AND MRS. ATWOOD, I HOPE
YOU ENJOYED YOUR STAY WITH US.
WE WERE BOTH PREPARED TO HATE IT
BUT IT TURNED OUT
TO BE A FAIRY TALE.
WE ALWAYS TRY TO
PROVIDE HAPPY ENDINGS.
THAT NOSTALGIA TRIP BACK TO 1944
WASN'T BAD EITHER.
BUT WE'RE LOOKING
FORWARD TO THE FUTURE NOW.
AND 35 MORE YEARS OF MARRIAGE.
OH, AT LEAST.
- GOOD-BYE.
- GOOD-BYE, MRS. ATWOOD.
- GOOD-BYE, TATTOO.
- GOOD-BYE,
MRS. ATWOOD.
- GOOD-BYE.
- MR. ATWOOD.
THANK YOU, MR. ROARKE.
THANK YOU, TATTOO.
MS. MASON, CAPT.
BAILEY, ANY REGRETS?
NONE AT ALL. BROKE OR
NOT, WE'LL MAKE IT TOGETHER.
WELL, I WOULD SCARCELY
FEEL BROKE WITH $1,000,000,000.
I DON'T GET IT. J.D.'S CHECK.
WELL, YOU FOUND THE
FOUNTAIN, DIDN'T YOU?
TECHNICALLY THAT'S
ALL YOU AGREED TO DO.
YOU SEE, BEFORE MR. PETTIGREW
WAS TAKEN TO THE HOSPITAL,
WHERE HE WILL RECOVER,
HE ASKED ME TO
GIVE YOU THAT CHECK.
I GUESS PEOPLE FOOL YOU
SOMETIMES. HUH, MR. ROARKE?
SOMETIMES.
THANK YOU.
GOOD-BYE, CAPTAIN.
GOOD LUCK.
THANK YOU, MS. MASON.
THANK YOU.
WELL, BOSS, THAT WAS NICE.
YES IT WAS.
[HICCUPS]
OH, NO. NOT AGAIN, TATTOO.
WELL, I'M AFRAID THIS CALLS
FOR THE ULTIMATE REMEDY.
I CAN'T GUARANTEE THAT IT WILL
WORK, BUT AN OLD ISLAND LEGEND
INSISTS THAT IT WILL.
SO FAR SO GOOD, BUT WHAT
DO I DO NEXT? [ HICCUPS]
YOU WILL HAVE TO KISS EACH
ONE OF THESE COMELY MAIDENS
AND THEN, ACCORDING TO LEGEND,
YOUR HICCUPS WILL DISAPPEAR.
I GET TO KISS ALL THREE OF THEM?
I'M AFRAID SO, TATTOO.
HEY, BOSS, IT WORKS!
IT REALLY WORKS!
OF COURSE. YOU SEE, EVERY
LEGEND HAS ITS... [HICCUPS]
[ROARKE HICCUPS]
BOSS, YOU'VE GOT IT!
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
[MUSIC ENDS]
THE PLANE! THE PLANE!
[HICCUPS]
[HICCUPPING]
TATTOO, DON'T TELL ME
YOU STILL HAVE THE HICCUPS.
I DO BOSS. [HICCUPS]
I TRIED EVERYTHING,
BUT I CAN'T GET
RID OF IT. [HICCUPS]
WELL, THAT'S ODD. BREATHING
INTO A BROWN PAPER BAG
ALWAYS TURNED THE TRICK FOR ME.
MAY I SEE YOUR BAG?
NO WONDER. LOOK.
OH, WHO IS THAT?
[POPS]
BOSS! WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?
TO FRIGHTEN AWAY THE HICCUPS.
YOU ALMOST SCARED ME TO DEATH!
BUT I ALSO SCARED AWAY
THE HICCUPS, DIDN'T I? HUH?
YES! FORMIDABLE! YOU DID, BOSS!
THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
NOW SHALL WE GO MEET
OUR INCOMING GUESTS?
SMILES, EVERYONE! SMILES!
BOSS, WHO ARE THEY?
[ROARKE] MR. AND MRS.
ATWOOD, CHARLES AND PEGGY,
ALL THE WAY FROM SALINA, KANSAS,
WHERE THEY OWN A HARDWARE STORE.
[TATTOO] WHY DO THEY
LOOK SO UNHAPPY?
BECAUSE NEITHER OF THEM
WANTS TO BE HERE, TATTOO.
HOW COME THEY ARE HERE?
THEY CAME HERE TO PLEASE
THEIR THREE CHILDREN,
WHO PURCHASED THE
FANTASY FOR THEIR PARENTS.
TO MAKE THEIR PARENTS MISERABLE?
NO, TATTOO. THEY WANT US TO
RECREATE THE ROMANTIC WEEKEND
35 YEARS AGO WHEN
MR. AND MRS. ATWOOD MET,
FELL IN LOVE, AND WERE MARRIED.
IT OCCURRED DURING ONE OF THE MOST
DYNAMIC ERAS IN AMERICAN HISTORY...
1944, WHEN WORLD WAR
TWO WAS IN FULL SWING.
IT'S A PRETTY ROMANTIC IDEA.
AH, BUT THERE IS ONE
SLIGHT HITCH, TATTOO.
IN TRUTH, MR. AND MRS. ATWOOD,
WHEN THEY RETURN HOME,
ARE GOING TO GET A DIVORCE.
AH.
CAPTAIN JEFF BAILEY,
PERHAPS THE WORLD'S MOST FAMOUS
ADVENTURER AND
SOLDIER OF FORTUNE.
AND ONE OF MY
FAVORITE HEROES TOO.
AND RIGHTLY SO, TATTOO.
CAPT. BAILEY IS KNOWN AS THE
MAN WITH A THOUSAND ADVENTURES.
[TATTOO] WHAT'S HIS FANTASY?
[ROARKE] HIS FANTASY
IS TO EARN $1,000,000,000
- BEFORE MONDAY MORNING.
- IS THAT POSSIBLE?
PERHAPS, WHEN THE MAN HE WILL
BE WORKING FOR IS J.D. PETTIGREW,
AND CAPT. BAILEY'S
JOB WILL BE TO FIND
THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH.
MY DEAR GUESTS,
I AM MR. ROARKE, YOUR HOST.
WELCOME TO FANTASY ISLAND.
AH, MR. ATWOOD,
SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.
HOW'S IT FEEL TO
BE BACK IN UNIFORM?
UNCOMFORTABLE, MR. ROARKE.
IT'S NOT THAT MY WEIGHT
HAS CHANGED THAT MUCH.
IT'S MERELY SHIFTED POSITION,
IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
[LAUGHS] INDEED I DO!
AH, HERE COMES
YOUR LOVELY PARTNER.
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, MADAME.
IT'S MADEMOISELLE, TATTOO.
SINCE THIS IS FOR ALL
PRACTICAL PURPOSES
THAT SPECIAL WEEKEND IN 1944,
WE SHALL PROCEED ON THE THEORY
THAT THE TWO OF YOU ARE NOT YET MARRIED.
THAT EXPLAINS WHY I BILLETED
YOU IN SEPARATE HOUSES.
THAT'S FINE.
PEG, WHERE DID YOU GET
THAT LETTERMAN SWEATER?
OH, I FOUND IT
HANGING IN THE CLOSET,
ALONG WITH THE
REST OF THIS GETUP.
WELL IF I DIDN'T KNOW BETTER,
I WOULD SAY THAT
THAT IS HIS SWEATER.
DO YOU MEAN MR. BRICK HOWARD, MRS.
ATWOOD'S FORMER FIANCEE AND B.M.O.C.?
HOW DO YOU KNOW
ABOUT BRICK HOWARD?
IT IS MY BUSINESS TO
KNOW, MR. ATWOOD.
I AM BEING PAID RATHER HANDSOMELY
TO RECREATE A VERY IMPORTANT
TIME FRAME IN YOUR TWO LIVES.
MR. BRICK HOWARD AND
MANY OF YOUR FORMER FRIENDS
FROM THAT PERIOD
ARE HERE ON THE ISLAND.
HAVEN'T YOU NOTICED?
[CHARLES] IT IS BRICK HOWARD.
HE REALLY LOOKS
GREAT, DOESN'T HE?
YEAH. JUST GREAT.
ARE YOU FOLKS READY TO GO?
- WHERE?
- WHERE ELSE? TO
THE SALINA, KANSAS USO,
WHERE THE TWO OF YOU
ORIGINALLY FELL IN LOVE.
SHALL WE?
[CHARLES] IT'S INCREDIBLE!
I DON'T BELIEVE IT!
[PEGGY] I DON'T
BELIEVE IT EITHER.
EVERYTHING'S EXACTLY THE
SAME AS IT WAS THEN, 35 YEARS AGO.
HOW DID YOU DO IT, MR. ROARKE?
PRIVILEGED INFORMATION.
THIS IS WHERE WE PART
COMPANY, AT LEAST FOR NOW.
ENJOY YOURSELVES.
- MAY I ASK YOU
A QUESTION, PLEASE?
- SHOOT.
THERE IS SOMETHING
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
HOW COME A REAL SOLDIER
OF FORTUNE LIKE YOU
CAN WORK FOR SUCH A STINGY
OLD MAN LIKE J.D. PETTIGREW?
TATTOO, THAT'S NO WAY TO
TALK ABOUT ONE OF OUR GUESTS.
IF YOU MUST KNOW, IT'S MONEY.
THAT'S ONE THING
PETTIGREW HAS PLENTY OF.
[KNOCK]
SPEAK OF THE DEVIL. THAT'S
PROBABLY OLD PETTIGREW NOW.
COME IN.
AH, MS. MASON.
MR. PETTIGREW,
SO NICE TO SEE YOU.
NEVER MIND THE
AMENITIES, MR. ROARKE.
NOW THAT MY SECRETARY'S FIANCEE,
THE FAMOUS CAPT.
BAILEY, IS FINALLY HERE,
MAYBE WE CAN GET STARTED.
NICE TO SEE YOU
AGAIN, MR. PETTIGREW.
THE ONLY THING YOU
ENJOY ABOUT SEEING ME
IS THE $1,000,000,000
YOU HOPE I'LL PAY YOU.
THAT DEPENDS ON MR. ROARKE HERE.
THE ONE THING I CAN'T
AFFORD TO WASTE IS TIME.
I WANT SOME ANSWERS
AND I WANT THEM STRAIGHT.
WHEN I'VE HAD THE QUESTIONS,
YOU SHALL HAVE THE ANSWERS.
I LIKE THAT.
ALL RIGHT. A SHORT TIME AGO,
I CAME INTO POSSESSION OF
A CERTAIN CURIOUS OBJECT.
WHAT SORT OF OBJECT?
LET ME HAVE THE ENVELOPE.
BOSS! IT'S A HEAD!
A MAN'S HEAD!
A MOST INTERESTING TROPHY.
MAY I ASK HOW YOU CAME INTO
POSSESSION OF THE ORIGINAL?
THAT IS OF NO CONSEQUENCE!
LET'S SAY I ACQUIRED IT
FROM A FELLOW COLLECTOR.
THE ONLY THINGS THAT DO
MATTER ARE, NUMBER ONE...
IT CAME FROM ONE OF THE
SCATTERED ISLANDS THAT
SURROUND THIS PLACE.
NUMBER TWO... IT HAS
BEEN AUTHENTICATED
AND FOUND TO BE
OVER 150 YEARS OLD,
YET IN PERFECT CONDITION.
AND DO YOU KNOW WHY, MR. ROARKE?
BECAUSE OF THE WATER
IT WAS TREATED IN,
WATER OF MYSTERIOUS,
INDEFINABLE PROPERTIES.
MT TEAM OF SCIENTISTS
IS CONVINCED
IT CAN ONLY HAVE COME FROM
LA FUENTE DE LA JUVENTUD,
THE LEGENDARY FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH.
FASCINATING.
SO NOW YOU KNOW WHY I
AM HERE AND WHAT I AM AFTER.
AND I ASK YOU, DOES THIS
FOUNTAIN REALLY EXIST
AND CAN IT BE FOUND?
OR ARE YOU SOME
SORT OF CHARLATAN?
CHARLATAN?
WE NEVER PROMISE WHAT WE
CAN'T DELIVER, MR. PETTIGREW.
THE FABLED FOUNTAIN
DOES CERTAINLY EXIST.
AS DO ALL THE FANTASIES
OF MAN'S IMAGINATION.
MAY I ALSO WARN YOU ABOUT THE ISLAND
WHERE HE MUST GO TO FIND THE FOUNTAIN?
IT IS SAID THAT THE
TRIBE OF HEADHUNTERS
WHO PRODUCED YOUR, UM, TROPHY
STILL EXIST.
IT MIGHT BE WISER IF YOU AND
YOUR SECRETARY REMAINED HERE
AND LET CAPT. BAILEY TRY ALONE.
[LAUGHS] AND LET HIM RUN
OFF AND SELL THE SECRET
TO SOMEONE ELSE?
NOT ON YOUR LIFE!
HEADHUNTERS OR NO,
HIS LITTLE SWEETHEART
AND I WILL FOLLOW HIM
EVERY STEP OF THE WAY.
SO BE IT.
I JUST HOPE THAT YOU ALL MAKE
IT EVERY STEP OF THE WAY BACK.
[SWING MUSIC PLAYS]
HEY, CHARLIE! PEG!
IT'S ME, WILLIE TUCKER!
- WILLIE!
- I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
WILLIE, MY GOODNESS!
HELLO, WILLIE!
- IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME.
- WILLIE, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
MR. ROARKE INVITED
ME AS YOUR GUEST.
HEY, COME ON, LET'S SIT DOWN.
THANK YOU.
YOU TWO LOOK TERRIFIC.
LIKEWISE.
WHERE'S YOUR
BETTER HALF, WILLIE?
DORIS IS...
DEAD, PEG. ABOUT A YEAR AGO.
HER HEART.
- OH, WILLIE, I'M SO SORRY.
- ME TOO, WILLIE.
WE'RE ALL SO DUMB, WE DON'T APPRECIATE
WHAT WE HAVE UNTIL IT'S TOO LATE.
HEY, I DIDN'T COME ALL THIS
WAY TO PUT A DAMPER ON THINGS.
WE HAD A GREAT LIFE TOGETHER.
CHARLIE, I GOT A GOOD BOY.
HE TEACHES SCHOOL.
WHAT ABOUT YOU TWO?
TWO BOYS AND A GIRL.
ALL MARRIED AS OF LAST MONTH.
WELL, NOW THAT
THE NEST IS EMPTY,
I GUESS YOU TWO ARE
REALLY LIVING IT UP.
HEY, DID I SAY SOMETHING WRONG?
NO, NOTHING, WILLIE.
EVERYTHING'S FINE. SO TO SPEAK.
SO TO SPEAK? WHAT
DOES THAT MEAN?
WELL, IT MEANS, WILLIE, THAT...
CHARLIE AND I ARE...
WELL, WE'RE GETTING A DIVORCE.
YOU'RE PUTTING ME ON!
NOT YOU TWO. NEVER!
NO, IT'S TRUE, WILLIE.
- WHAT HAPPENED?
- NO ONE REASON. JUST...
WELL, AFTER 35
YEARS OF MARRIAGE,
WE JUST RAN OUT
OF GAS. NO SPARKS.
ALL THAT DISTANCE.
I NEVER DREAMED I WAS COMING ALL THE
WAY TO FANTASY ISLAND TO ATTEND A DIVORCE.
HEY, I HEAR BRICK HOWARD'S ON THE
ISLAND. HE JUST GOT HIS THIRD DIVORCE.
IT WOULD BE FUNNY, WOULDN'T IT, IF YOU TWO
GOT TOGETHER AGAIN AFTER ALL THESE YEARS.
[SONG ENDS] [CLAPPING]
[SONG PLAYS]
REMEMBER THAT SONG?
THAT WAS ALWAYS YOUR SONG.
HEY, DO ME A FAVOR, WILL YA?
DANCE TO IT.
ARE YOU PLAYING CUPID, WILLIE?
ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT?
EXCUSE US, WILLIE.
NOW, YOU HAVE MY CHARTS
AND ALL MY INSTRUCTIONS.
I WOULD STILL ADVISE YOU,
MS. MASON AND MR. PETTIGREW,
TO RECONSIDER. THE NATIVES
OF THE ISLAND YOU'RE GOING TO
ARE CONSIDERED QUITE DANGEROUS.
WE'RE WASTING TIME!
I WILL NOT RELINQUISH
COMMAND OF THIS EXPEDITION,
NOT TO BAILEY, NOT TO
ANYONE! NOW LET'S GO!
HAVEN'T WE FORGOTTEN
SOMETHING, MR. PETTIGREW?
HMM? [GRUMBLES]
MY CERTIFIED CHECK
FOR $1,000,000,000
MADE OUT IN BAILEY'S NAME.
BUT BEAR IN MIND, MR. ROARKE,
NOT ONE PENNY IS TO BE TURNED OVER
TO HIM UNLESS HE FULFILLS OUR CONTRACT.
UNLESS WE FIND THE FOUNTAIN
OF YOUTH, HE GETS NOTHING!
FAIR ENOUGH, MR. PETTIGREW.
UNDERSTOOD.
ALL RIGHT, START THE ENGINE. AND BE
QUICK. WE'VE GOT A LONG WAY TO GO.
ALL RIGHT.
BOSS, ARE WE EVER
GONNA SEE THEM AGAIN?
WHO'S TO SAY, TATTOO?
WHO'S TO SAY?
[PETTIGREW] SEE ANYTHING?
[BAILEY] NOTHING. BUT
WE'RE HERE, ALL RIGHT.
THIS IS THE ISLAND
AND THE LAGOON.
ALL THE CHARTS MATCH.
GIVE ME THE PACKS.
[TINA] I HAVE THE FEELING
SOMETHING'S WATCHING US.
[PETTIGREW] I HAVEN'T COME
THIS FAR TO TURN BACK NOW,
NO MATTER WHO'S
THERE, OR WHAT'S THERE.
I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE
UNTIL WE FIND THAT WATER.
ALL RIGHT, THIS WAY.
LET'S MOVE FAST.
- WHAT'S THE MATTER?
- I DON'T KNOW.
SOMETHING'S NOT RIGHT.
JUST BACK AWAY SLOWLY.
THANKS FOR LOANING ME YOUR DATE.
BOY, AM I OUT OF SHAPE!
YOU'RE STILL GOOD,
WILLIE. VERY GOOD.
YOU MAKE ME LOOK GOOD.
PEG TELLS ME YOU OWN A HARDWARE
STORE BACK THERE IN SALINA. VERY GOOD.
IT'LL SOON BE IN THE PAST
TENSE. I'M SELLING THE STORE.
CHARLIE'S GOING
INTO SEMI-RETIREMENT.
HAWAII.
DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE GOING
TO OPEN UP THAT BAIT SHOP
YOU USED TO TALK ABOUT
WHEN WE WERE IN THE NAVY.
YOU HAVE GOT A REAL MEMORY.
HEY, YOU DON'T NEED
A PARTNER, DO YOU?
SORRY, WILLIE, BUT THIS IS
STRICTLY A ONE-MAN OPERATION.
I KNOW IT'S NONE OF MY
BUSINESS, BUT YOU AND PEG...
ALL THIS TALK ABOUT A DIVORCE...
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GONNA SAY.
I DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN HAWAII.
SALINA'S MY HOME. ALWAYS
HAS BEEN AND ALWAYS WILL BE.
YEAH, BUT HAWAII. HAVE
YOU EVER BEEN THERE?
OH, YES. CHARLIE'S TAKEN
ME THERE SEVERAL TIMES.
IT IS A BEAUTIFUL PLACE,
BUT MY ROOTS ARE IN SALINA.
CHILDREN, THE GRANDCHILDREN.
MEMORIES.
[SONG ENDS]
[NEW SONG STARTS]
[MAN] FOLKS, THIS
IS THE LAST DANCE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S
THAT TIME ALREADY.
CARE TO DANCE, PEG?
YES.
ARE YOU LOOKING FOR SOMEONE?
I JUST THOUGHT MAYBE
BRICK MIGHT BE HERE.
I GUESS ALL OF OUR LIVES WOULD HAVE
BEEN VERY DIFFERENT, WOULDN'T THEY,
IF YOU TWO HAD GOTTEN MARRIED?
REMIND ME TO TELL YOU SOMETIME
THAT YOU ARE STILL
A VERY GOOD DANCER.
IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME.
YES, IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME.
FOR LOTS OF THINGS, CHARLIE.
[TRIBAL DRUMMING]
[CHANTING]
YOU DIE!
JEFF, I'M SCARED.
LOOKS LIKE WE'RE ALL
SHRUNKEN HEAD CANDIDATES.
YOU! BIG FELLA! CHIEF!
WE COME AS FRIENDS.
GREAT WHITE CHIEF BRING MAGIC.
MAGIC BOX. BIG STRONG MAGIC!
[SCREAMS]
[TRIBESMEN CLAMOR]
MAGIC!
EVEN STRONGER MAGIC.
I HAVE HIS SOUL,
HIS SPIRIT CAPTURED.
IT IS TRUE. LOOK. IT IS TRUE.
IF THE PRIEST BOTHERS
US, I WILL KEEP HIS SOUL.
WHY YOU BRING MAGIC?
COME TO THIS VILLAGE?
TO SEE YOUR MAGIC WATER.
I KNOW YOU HAVE IT.
COME.
THIS MUST BE IT.
I THINK WE HAVE FOUND IT.
THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH!
IT IS CALLED THE DEW OF LIFE.
ONCE IT RAN FULL AND BROAD.
NOW, ONLY A FEW DROPS EACH DAY.
CHIEF, PRIESTS, AND ELDERS ALLOWED
TO DRINK NOW AND THEN TO STAY ALIVE.
HOW OLD ARE YOU?
ME?
140.
SOME, 200 YEARS, 300.
OH!
THIS WATER, I WOULD
BUY SOME OF IT.
I WILL PAY YOU MONEY.
ALL THE MONEY YOU WANT!
SILVER MONEY! GOLD!
GOLD NOT MAKE MAN YOUNG.
BUT YOU MUST SHARE IT.
I DON'T WANT IT ALL.
JUST A LITTLE. JUST A LITTLE.
WATER GIFT OF GODS.
NOT SELL FOR GOLD.
OH! OH!
I WILL HAVE THIS WATER!
NO!
YOU MUSTN'T KILL
GREAT WHITE CHIEF.
HIS MAGIC WILL KILL YOU ALL.
I WILL HAVE... I WILL HAVE...!
YOU GO!
NEVER COME BACK, OR YOU DIE!
[HICCUPPING]
BOSS, BOSS, YOU GOTTA HELP ME.
THE HICCUP IS BACK.
YES, SO I HEAR. [TSK TSK]
THE REMEDY I GAVE
YOU DIDN'T WORK, HUH?
NO. THE ONLY THE I'VE
GOT IS A BUMP IN THE HEAD.
FROM HOLDING YOUR BREATH?
I HELD IT SO LONG THAT FAINTED.
[HICCUPPING]
YOU KNOW WHAT WAS
SO GREAT ABOUT 1944
WAS WE WERE TOO YOUNG
TO WORRY ABOUT THE FUTURE.
THE ONLY THING THAT WAS
IMPORTANT WAS NOW, TODAY.
LET TOMORROW
TAKE CARE OF ITSELF.
MMM.
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT?
THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE
WHEN YOU SAW YOUR ELDEST
SON FOR THE FIRST TIME.
TOMMY TOOK ONE LOOK AT ME
AND STARTED BAWLING HIS HEAD OFF.
[LAUGHS] YOU WERE
A TOTAL STRANGER.
TOMMY WAS WHAT, A YEAR
OLD BEFORE YOU EVER SAW HIM.
13 MONTHS. I DIDN'T THINK THE
NAVY WOULD EVER SHIP ME HOME.
I'M GLAD THEY DID. I WAS PARTICULARLY
GRATEFUL YOU WERE AROUND
WHEN SCOTTY GOT SO SICK.
I REMEMBER THE
DOCTOR SAYING "POLIO."
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
I REMEMBER WHAT WE DID.
WE GOT DOWN ON OUR KNEES
RIGHT THERE IN THE HOSPITAL ROOM
AND ASKED GOD TO SPARE SCOTTY.
IT REALLY WAS A
MIRACLE, CHARLIE.
NOT EVEN A LIMP.
WE HAD SO MUCH GOING
FOR US IN THOSE DAYS, PEG,
BUT WHERE DID IT GO?
[HORN HONKS]
ALL RIGHT, YOU TWO,
ENOUGH OF THIS EXCLUSIVITY!
WE'RE ALL GOING SWIMMING, AND
YOU'RE BOTH GONNA GO WITH US.
[SWING MUSIC PLAYS]
♪ ♪
PEG.
STILL AS BEAUTIFUL AS EVER.
COME ON! COME ON!
I NEVER THOUGHT WE'D
GET OUT OF THERE ALIVE.
I KEEP THINKING
THEY'RE WATCHING US.
I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT.
IN FACT, I KNOW YOU ARE.
LOOK! LOOK WHERE THE
WATER TOUCHED MY HAND!
IT'S LIKE MY SKIN
WHEN I WAS YOUNG!
UNBELIEVABLE!
IT'S INCREDIBLE.
I COULD BE THAT WAY
ALL OVER, YOUNG AGAIN!
IF I ONLY HAD A LITTLE
MORE OF THE WATER.
BAILEY, I WILL DOUBLE MY OFFER.
$2,000,000,000 FOR ONE
CANTEEN OF THE WATER!
THAT'S INSANE! THEY'LL KILL US
ALL IF WE DON'T GET OFF THE ISLAND!
- COME ON.
- $3,000,000,000!
YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF A DEAL.
$3,000,000,000, PAYABLE ON OUR RETURN.
YES! YES!
ARE YOU BOTH CRAZY?
YOU HEARD HIM. FOR $3,000,000,000
I'D GO TO HELL AND BACK.
TAMA, HAND ME THE
CANTEEN AND MY PISTOL.
YES, SIR.
TINA, GET ABOARD THE BOAT.
ALL RIGHT, NOW YOU
LISTEN CAREFULLY.
WATCH FOR ME ON THE BEACH.
WHEN YOU SEE ME,
START THE BOAT ENGINE.
I'LL TRY AND SWIM OUT TO YOU.
IF I DON'T MAKE IT,
YOU KEEP GOING.
DON'T WAIT FOR ANYTHING, GOT IT?
- YOU GOT IT.
- GOT IT.
OKAY.
ONE MORE POINT AND I WIN. READY?
READY.
OUT.
21. I WIN.
JUST LIKE THE GOOD OLD DAYS. I
NEVER WAS ANY GOOD AT SPORTS.
SPEAKING OF SPORTS...
GOOD AFTERNOON. I'M SURE YOU
ALL REMEMBER BRICK HOWARD.
BRICK.
HOW COULD THEY FORGET THAT PEG
AND I WERE ENGAGED TO BE MARRIED?
HOW ARE YOU, PEG?
FINE, BRICK, AND YOU?
NEVER BETTER. YOU STILL
MARRIED TO THIS SWABBIE?
SHE IS.
WIN A FEW, LOSE A FEW.
HEY, WILLIE, HOW ARE YOU?
OKAY, BRICK.
I IMAGINE YOU HAVE A
GREAT DEAL TO TALK ABOUT,
SO IF YOU'LL KINDLY EXCUSE ME.
ME TOO.
YOU'RE LOOKING
MIGHTY PRETTY, PEG.
OH, THANKS...
I SEE YOU'RE STILL WEARING
MY LETTERMAN SWEATER.
SHE WAS COLD.
IT WAS THE ONLY
ONE ON THE CLOSET.
LET THE LADY SPEAK FOR
HERSELF, CHUCK BABY.
THE NAME IS CHARLES.
WHY SO HOSTILE? WE HAVEN'T SEEN
EACH OTHER IN HOW MANY YEARS?
WELL, AREN'T YOU GONNA
ASK ME WHAT I'VE BEEN DOING?
OH. WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING?
I'M AN AIRLINE PILOT.
THE BIGGIE, 747.
- FROM L.A. TO PARIS FRANCE.
- OH, HOW NICE.
OH, MR. ROARKE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT
YOU OPENING A BAIT SHOP IN HAWAII? HAH.
CAN'T CUT IT IN THE
BIG CITY, HUH, CHAZ?
OH, BRICK, WHY DON'T WE DANCE?
- SHALL WE?
- YOU GOT IT, BABY.
AH, GOOD AFTERNOON, MR. ATWOOD.
- NOT REALLY.
- SOMETHING IS WRONG?
THAT FLYBOY YOU BROUGHT
OVER TO THE USO, BRICK HOWARD,
HE'S WHAT'S WRONG.
I'M AFRAID I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, MR. ROARKE.
IT'S JUST THAT I NEVER COULD
COMPETE AGAINST MR. EVERYTHING.
NOBODY COULD.
COMPETE AGAINST HIM FOR WHAT?
PEG. SHE COULDN'T WAIT TO GET
OUT ON THAT DANCE FLOOR WITH HIM.
OH.
IT'S BEEN SAID THAT, UM,
JEALOUSY IS BUT A BLISTER ON THE
HEEL OF MATRIMONY, MR. ATWOOD.
IT HAS ALSO BEEN SAID THAT BRICK
HOWARD IS A FIRST-CLASS JERK.
AND I'M THE GUY WHO SAID IT.
BUT ONCE YOU WON PEGGY'S
FAVOR OVER HIS, DIDN'T YOU?
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
YOU CAN'T DO IT AGAIN?
I'M 54 YEARS OLD. I'M
NOT THE GUY I ONCE WAS.
BRICK HOWARD IS
ALSO 54, ISN'T HE?
YES, BUT HE DOESN'T LOOK IT.
AT LEAST NOT TO ME.
WELL, YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY FEELING
SORRY FOR YOURSELF, MR. ATWOOD.
MY ADVICE WOULD BE FOR YOU
TO STAND UP AND FIGHT FOR PEGGY.
IF THAT IS WHAT YOU REALLY WANT.
GOOD AFTERNOON, MR. ATWOOD.
COME HERE OFTEN?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU
TO STAY ON BOARD.
- I'M COMING WITH YOU.
- ARE YOU CRAZY?
YEAH, PROBABLY. BUT YOU
CAN'T PULL THIS OFF BY YOURSELF.
IT'S THE ONLY WAY I CAN
PULL IT OFF. NOW GO BACK.
I'M NOT GOING BACK! LISTEN, I'VE
HANDLED GUNS ALL MY LIFE AND I'M GOOD.
- OKAY. BUT IF THIS THING BACKFIRES...
- IT WON'T.
NOW WHY DON'T YOU BEGIN PRACTICING
THE POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING?
BECAUSE I KEEP THINKING
ABOUT THOSE NATIVES
WITH TWO MORE SHRUNKEN
HEADS TO THEIR CREDIT, THAT'S WHY.
- STILL WANT TO GO?
- MM-HMM.
COME ON.
COME ON, CHARLIE, CHEER UP.
WHAT FOR? PEG'S GONE OFF
WITH THAT LEECH OF A PLAYBOY.
WRONG.
MIND IF I SIT DOWN?
IT'S NOT TOO ORIGINAL,
BUT THERE'S AN OLD SAYING
THAT THREE'S A CROWD. GOOD LUCK.
- NOW, ABOUT THIS AFTERNOON...
- PEG, YOU DON'T OWE ME ANY EXPLANATION.
MR. ROARKE PRONOUNCED US
SINGLE FOR THE WEEKEND, REMEMBER?
CHARLIE, I GRABBED BRICK
AND STARTED DANCING WITH HIM
TO PREVENT WHAT WAS RAPIDLY
DETERIORATING INTO A FIGHT.
I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO GET HURT.
I REPEAT, YOU DON'T
OWE ME ANY APOLOGIES.
I SUPPOSE IF ANYONE
SHOULD APOLOGIZE,
IT SHOULD BE ME.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
OUR LIFE TOGETHER.
I GUESS I ALWAYS KNEW THAT
IT WAS A ONE-SIDED LOVE AFFAIR.
I TOOK ADVANTAGE OF YOU BY MARRYING
YOU ON THE REBOUND FROM BRICK.
IT WASN'T FAIR.
I LOVED YOU SO MUCH,
I GUESS I HOPED THAT IN TIME...
IRONIC, ISN'T IT?
THIS CORNBALL LUAU.
YOU KNOW, THIS IS WHERE WE
FIRST THOUGHT WE WERE IN LOVE.
I THINK THAT'S WHAT TURNED ME
ON TO HAWAII IN THE FIRST PLACE.
SOMEHOW I JUST GOT
IT FIXED IN MY HEAD...
YOU AND ME, AND THE LUAU...
TWO DAYS LATER I
WAS OFF TO THE WAR.
YOU KNOW, THAT WAS THE
LAST TIME WE WERE ALONE,
JUST YOU AND ME.
THERE WERE THE KIDS, AND...
- CHARLIE...
- PEG.
I'M SORRY. I NEVER
MEANT TO HURT YOU.
MAYBE YOU AND BRICK
CAN BE HAPPY NOW.
I WON'T STAND IN YOUR WAY.
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO WITH IT?
- WHAT?
- ALL THAT MONEY. THE $3,000,000,000.
BANK IT, WHERE IT'S SAFE.
WHY DON'T WE SPLURGE ON
AN ACAPULCO HONEYMOON?
WHEN YOU GET TO BE MY AGE AND
CAN'T QUALIFY FOR A CREDIT CARD,
YOU DON'T SPLURGE ON ANYTHING.
YOU'RE JUST CHEAP.
YOU NOTICE ANYTHING
STRANGE ABOUT THE VILLAGE?
- WHAT?
- HARDLY ANY MEN.
MEANS THEY PROBABLY WENT OUT
TO MAKE SURE WE LEFT THE ISLAND.
WHICH MEANS WE
DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME.
WAIT. YOU CAN'T GO DOWN
THERE NOW IN BROAD DAYLIGHT.
WITH THEIR APPETITES I DON'T
WANT TO HANG AROUND FOR DINNER.
JUST STAY HERE. IF ANYTHING
HAPPENS, RUN FOR THE BOAT.
- JUST RUN AND
KEEP RUNNING.
- JEFF!
[SKULLS RATTLE]
COME ON! LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!
- I DROPPED THE GUN
BACK THERE!
- FORGET THE GUN!
COME ON! WE GOTTA MAKE THE BOAT!
OH!
I HURT MY LEG!
OKAY, WE'RE HERE!
START THE ENGINE!
JEFF!
JEFF, I CAN'T MAKE IT! MY LEG!
COME ON, TINA! WE GOT IT MADE!
JEFF! HURRY! I CAN'T!
CANTEEN! SAVE THE CANTEEN!
JEFF, HURRY!
JEFF, SAVE YOURSELF! HURRY!
[PETTIGREW] THE WATER!
THE WATER!
THE WATER! GO BACK! GO BACK.
GO BACK TO THE WATER.
SIR! SIR! ARE YOU ALL
RIGHT? CAN I HELP?
PEG?
OH, I WAS HOPING
YOU'D COME BACK.
PEG, I DON'T...
BUT...
I THOUGHT YOU
WOULD BE WITH BRICK.
OH, CHARLIE.
THERE'S SOMETHING WE REALLY
SHOULD HAVE DISCUSSED 35 YEARS AGO.
THE FACT THAT YOU
MARRIED ME ON THE REBOUND
AFTER BRICK JILTED ME FOR
SOME GENERAL'S DAUGHTER
WHO COULD HELP HIS CAREER.
- LOOK, PEG...
- I GUESS I ALWAYS LET YOU THINK
THAT WAS A LITTLE TRUE.
BUT YOU LOVE HIM.
YOU CAN'T DENY THAT.
I DID LOVE HIM, YES.
AND WHEN HE JILTED
ME I THOUGHT I'D DIE.
AND THEN THERE WAS
YOU. AND I REALIZED
THAT I NEVER KNEW WHAT
LOVE WAS BEFORE YOU.
BUT THAT WAS 35 YEARS AGO.
WHY DID YOU COME
BACK HERE TONIGHT?
I SUDDENLY REMEMBERED
TAKING A VOW
THAT SAYS, "UNTIL
DEATH DO US PART".
YOU MEAN, YOU STILL LOVE ME?
WELL, I'M CERTAINLY NOT
TALKING ABOUT BRICK HOWARD.
HE COULDN'T CARRY
YOUR TACKLE BOX.
TACKLE BOX?
IT IS WHAT YOU CALL IT, ISN'T IT? I
MEAN, I THOUGHT I OUGHT TO START
USING THE OFFICIAL TERMINOLOGY
IF I'M GOING TO HELP
YOU WITH THE BAIT SHOP.
YOU MEAN YOU'RE COMING WITH ME?
BUT WHAT ABOUT SALINA?
OH, SALINA ALREADY
HAS A BAIT SHOP.
PLEASE, LET ME COME.
[SLOW SONG PLAYS]
AH, MR. AND MRS. ATWOOD, I HOPE
YOU ENJOYED YOUR STAY WITH US.
WE WERE BOTH PREPARED TO HATE IT
BUT IT TURNED OUT
TO BE A FAIRY TALE.
WE ALWAYS TRY TO
PROVIDE HAPPY ENDINGS.
THAT NOSTALGIA TRIP BACK TO 1944
WASN'T BAD EITHER.
BUT WE'RE LOOKING
FORWARD TO THE FUTURE NOW.
AND 35 MORE YEARS OF MARRIAGE.
OH, AT LEAST.
- GOOD-BYE.
- GOOD-BYE, MRS. ATWOOD.
- GOOD-BYE, TATTOO.
- GOOD-BYE,
MRS. ATWOOD.
- GOOD-BYE.
- MR. ATWOOD.
THANK YOU, MR. ROARKE.
THANK YOU, TATTOO.
MS. MASON, CAPT.
BAILEY, ANY REGRETS?
NONE AT ALL. BROKE OR
NOT, WE'LL MAKE IT TOGETHER.
WELL, I WOULD SCARCELY
FEEL BROKE WITH $1,000,000,000.
I DON'T GET IT. J.D.'S CHECK.
WELL, YOU FOUND THE
FOUNTAIN, DIDN'T YOU?
TECHNICALLY THAT'S
ALL YOU AGREED TO DO.
YOU SEE, BEFORE MR. PETTIGREW
WAS TAKEN TO THE HOSPITAL,
WHERE HE WILL RECOVER,
HE ASKED ME TO
GIVE YOU THAT CHECK.
I GUESS PEOPLE FOOL YOU
SOMETIMES. HUH, MR. ROARKE?
SOMETIMES.
THANK YOU.
GOOD-BYE, CAPTAIN.
GOOD LUCK.
THANK YOU, MS. MASON.
THANK YOU.
WELL, BOSS, THAT WAS NICE.
YES IT WAS.
[HICCUPS]
OH, NO. NOT AGAIN, TATTOO.
WELL, I'M AFRAID THIS CALLS
FOR THE ULTIMATE REMEDY.
I CAN'T GUARANTEE THAT IT WILL
WORK, BUT AN OLD ISLAND LEGEND
INSISTS THAT IT WILL.
SO FAR SO GOOD, BUT WHAT
DO I DO NEXT? [ HICCUPS]
YOU WILL HAVE TO KISS EACH
ONE OF THESE COMELY MAIDENS
AND THEN, ACCORDING TO LEGEND,
YOUR HICCUPS WILL DISAPPEAR.
I GET TO KISS ALL THREE OF THEM?
I'M AFRAID SO, TATTOO.
HEY, BOSS, IT WORKS!
IT REALLY WORKS!
OF COURSE. YOU SEE, EVERY
LEGEND HAS ITS... [HICCUPS]
[ROARKE HICCUPS]
BOSS, YOU'VE GOT IT!
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
[MUSIC ENDS]