Faking It (2014–2016): Season 1, Episode 3 - We Shall Overcompensate - full transcript

Previously on Faking It...

Let's elect them Homecoming Queens!

Yeah!

Where is this girlfriend of yours?

- I'm right here, mother.
- Lesbians?

Being gay is the best thing
that ever happened to us.

We could have sex. Me and Liam booker.

What's wrong?

I don't know. I was into this, now I'm not.

I want my first time to be
with someone who loves me,

which is why I'm gonna make
him fall in love with me.



- Stop it, butt face.
- Not until you sing it for me.

It's been weeks since
your last track dropped.

- Give the fans what they want.
- It's not ready.

Since when do you share songs
with me when they're ready?

You're JT, I'm Timbaland, we
workshop them till they're dope,

and then you perform them for your cats.

This one's different. It's personal.

I'm baring my soul, so
I want it to be perfect.

Ooh, is it a power ballad?

Come on, give me a hint.

Nope.

But I promise you'll be
the first person to hear it.

Cropped, filtered, blurred,
and boom... 'grammed it.

Since we came out, I've
gotten over 400 new followers.



Including a Mr. Liam Booker.

Everything's going according to plan.

How is posting a pic with me

gonna help Liam fall in love with you?

He's severely allergic to commitment.

I'm a lesbian with a girlfriend,
which makes me hypoallergenic.

His defenses are down.

Now I just need to show him
how perfect we'd be together.

You don't get someone
to fall in love with you.

They fall in love with
you because of who you are.

Yeah, well, I've been me for 15 years,

and no one's fallen for me.

- Except for you.
- Very funny.

I'm just having fun, Amy.

I mean, I'm popular, I
have a secret boyfriend,

I get to hold my best
friend's hand in public.

It is pretty awesome.

You think so?

'Cause I worry you're not
getting anything out of this.

Are you kidding?

I get to make my mom and
Bruce horribly uncomfortable.

That's a gift that keeps on giving.

Maybe I need a secret boyfriend too.

They sound super fun.

What about... Josh Hoyt?

You were obsessed with
him in middle school.

I was obsessed with him in middle school.

Well, now's your chance.

Okay. We'll find him at lunch.

No, I mean really, now's your
chance... he's coming this way.

Hey, Josh. Where's the fire?

It's inside us.
That's why we're protesting!

Right on! Let's go!

Not another
protest.

Big brother has got to go!

Hey, hey! Ho, ho!
Big brother has got to go!

Hey, hey! Ho, ho!

Big brother has got to
go! Hey, hey! Ho, ho!

What's going on?

Skwerkel wants to donate
$6 million to the school.

- Sounds terrible.
- It is terrible, Amy.

Skwerkel is a vile, evil... search engine.

I'm all for a good protest, kids.

I went to Berkeley.

But the school really needs this donation.

With the government cutbacks,
there just isn't enough money.

So...

Last week I had to shut
down the tai chi club.

Students.

The CEO of Skwerkel has
personally selected Hester High

in a new nationwide
educational outreach program.

You'll be changing the face of education.

We can see through your lies!
She's just trying to buy us!

Trust me, no one is trying to buy you.

Though you'll each be getting
new Skwerkel smartphones

and tablets.

What do you get out of this?

The satisfaction of helping a school

in desperate need of money.

Also, Skwerkel will own all
data collected on these devices.

That means our photos, our
emails, our text messages.

They want to make us their digital slaves.

Are we gonna let them?

Hell, no!

Time to occupy Hester.

Man your stations!

Stop Skwerkel!

What are you doing?

Liam's really into this protest,

so I'm gonna be the protestiest
protester who ever protested.

- Wanna help?
- No. I don't. Not at all.

Don't forget we're popular now,

so it's really important
to pretend like you care.

Protests aren't really my thing.

But the school loves them. Including Josh.

It's the perfect time to see if
he's secret boyfriend material.

Hey!

Down with corporate tyranny!

All right.

I didn't think we could top the absurdity

of last week's sit-in for
that endangered salamander.

This is so stupid.

Well, privacy is something
we should all be conce...

Not another lecture, Lisbeth.

2,776. 2,776.

Hey, Liam.

I raided the art room for
some sign-making supplies.

Oh, great. Thank you.

Hey, I liked your fire back there.

Very inspirational.
You're a natural leader.

Yeah, I got something
for you in my back pocket.

This is too small.

That's what I'm hoping.

I'm so glad we're both
so into student privacy.

Did you know that last
year there were 2,77...

Look who I found.

- Soleil! You made it!
- Yeah, well, you know me.

Someone yells "Protest," and I say,

"When, why, and will there be tear gas?"

It's good to see you, Liam.

Yeah. You too.

Uh, this is Karma. Another soldier

- in our war against Skwerkel.
- Hi.

So, uh, how come I haven't
seen you around Hester before?

Most of my classes are independent studies.

They give me course credit for the various

community outreach
programs I'm involved with

as well as my work
abroad with the Red Cross.

- You know how it is.
- Totally.

Uh... I'm a lesbian.

Good for you.

Liam, can I steal you away for a sec?

I've got some ideas that I think

will really take this to the next level.

Of course.

And the promance continues.

- "Promance"?
- Protest romance.

Every time we shut the school down,

the sexual tension between those two

just builds like Mount
Vesuvius until finally...

eruption.

- "Eruption" equals sex.
- Yeah, I got that.

All right. Thanks.

Okay.

Let's do it!

Wow.

Hipster culture's going
back in time so fast

pretty soon they'll be
wearing suits of armor.

You know, bathrooms typically
provide that for you.

You don't have to carry your own.

Trust me, in a few hours,

this stuff will be more
valuable than bitcoin.

So while your fellow students
rise up against injustice

you exploit them for a quick buck?

Don't hate the player, hate the game.

I'm Amy.

I'm Oliver.

Figured you'd be more
into this kind of thing

being that you're Homecoming Queen and all.

No, this is more my
girlfriend's kind of thing.

She gets involved in school activities.

I stand back and silently hate them.

Speaking of your girlfriend,

isn't that her over there,
chaining herself to that door?

Will you excuse me?

Honey, whatcha doin'?

Liam's having a promance
with the Soleil girl,

so I'm chaining myself to this door

because I don't want
the sex volcano to erupt.

More importantly, who's that
cute boy you were talking to?

Oliver. We just met, but so far

I don't want to poke his
eyes out with scissors.

Seriously? That's huge.

I know. I don't want to jump the gun,

but he could be secret boyfriend material.

Speaking of, here's Liam.

- Lock me down.
- Karma.

If Skwerkel wants this school,

they're gonna have to
come through me to get it.

I love the dedication, it's just...

you're blocking the door.

Soleil's here with donated food
from a vegan bakery downtown.

- Great.
- Thanks.

- What you got in the box?
- Muffins.

Ooh. Sounds good.

Yeah, they're really warm and moist.

- Hey!
- Attention, Hester High!

If we want to make a difference,

we have to show the world we're serious.

We have to get all Gandhi up in this bitch.

We need a hunger strike!

Yeah!

Hunger strike!

Hunger
strike! Hunger strike!

Hunger strike!
Hunger strike! Hunger strike!

- You wanna get out of here?
- I thought you'd never ask.

No. No, please.

Think about what we
could do with this money.

Electric school buses.

An organic
farm-to-table cafeteria.

We could recycle our waste
into clean drinking water.

That is so not how I'd use that money.

Penelope's about to crack.

That hunger strike idea was
a thing of beauty, Karma.

It's gotten us a ton of press.

Now those wads at
Skwerkel know we're serious.

Well, that's why I suggested it,

because I am serious
about showing big business

that we mean business.

- I'm sorry, that was stupid.
- No, it was cute.

In fact...

I kind of want to kiss you right now.

Really? Well...

I kinda want to let you.

Liam.

Big problem.

People are trying to break
into the vending machines.

Everyone's getting low blood sugar.

Pretty soon it's gonna get
all Hunger Games up in here.

We need to do something to keep spirits up.

Something to get our minds off
food and back onto the protest.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Please, don't say "Open Mic."
Open Mic.

Yup. Same page. All of us.

Not me.

Some people should not
be given a microphone.

I don't care what the 'cause is.

Wait, all those vegan
baked goods are just sitting

unprotected in the teacher's lounge.

Someone needs to protect them.

Karma and I can handle it, right?

Uh, yeah. We're all over it.

- Perfect.
- Thanks, guys.

Hey, it'll be fun, right?

Sure.

All I had to do

was get the serial
numbers to all the locks,

call the manufacturer,
pretend to be the janitor,

and they mailed me every key to the school.

Super easy.

- Did that make me sound creepy?
- No. Not at all.

But please tell me the
next stop on this tour

isn't the incinerator.

Oh, God, no.

No, the incinerator is
for special occasions only.

Anniversaries, Valentine's
day, that sort of thing.

You do realize the irony
of spying on students

protesting the invasion
of student privacy, right?

I do. I'm glad you do too.

I like to think of this as
anthropological research.

I watch students in their natural habitat

because I don't understand them,

and, you know, I'm supposed to be one.

Yeah, I'm weird.

I shouldn't have brought you here.

No, it's cool. I can relate.

Cool.

A message to big brother
from a little sister.

My head might be reeling.

My heart might be bleeding.

- My lungs might be gasping...
- She is so damn sexy.

But I'll still never march to that drum.

I'm sorry, I shouldn't have...

No, no, I'm... I'm with you. I mean...

look at her flawless skin

and those perky, round breasts.

Yeah, she's hot, um, but,

I mean, it's her passion that turns me on.

She's so real and raw.
She's, like, baring her soul.

I will never stop screaming.

I will never stop screaming.

You go, girl!

That was incredible.

Yeah. No one seems hungry anymore.

- I still am. For justice.
- We're gonna win this thing.

Yeah? Are we gonna go all the way?

All the way and all night long.

Wanna go check the supply closet?

Why aren't we there right now?

Hey, everyone.

Uh, you wanna hear a
song I've been working on?

I've never done this
before, so please be gentle.

♪ I felt a spark of desire ♪

♪ And now the flames ♪
♪ are growing higher ♪

♪ I really want this to work ♪

♪ I'm so tired of being burned ♪

You still watching What
Not to Wear on channel four?

No, I switched over to eight.

They're playing a new
episode of The Biggest Loser.

This school prides itself so much

on celebrating everyone's differences,

yet they're all still
so desperate to fit in.

I can't wait for college.

Mm...

I gotta admit something, Amy.

I've noticed you before.

Really?

Yeah.

It's rare you find a girl who's so pretty

and she doesn't even know it.

Oh, I-I...

That's just my luck.

I finally meet a girl I
like, and she's a lesbian.

Yeah, about that, um...

Karma's my best friend, but she's not...

Singing?

Probably we shall overcome.

Uh...

♪ I've got a secret inside ♪

♪ It gets so easy to be someone else ♪

♪ When I'm with you ♪
♪ I don't have to hide ♪

♪ When I'm with you I can be myself ♪

♪ Something changed the moment ♪

♪ We kissed ♪

♪ I never knew it ♪
♪ could feel like this ♪

♪ But keep it hush-hush undercover ♪

♪ But it's a rush ♪
♪ rush being your lover ♪

♪ And if it's not too much ♪
♪ could you have a crush on me ♪

♪ We keep it hush-hush and discover ♪

♪ Why it's a rush when ♪
♪ we're with each other ♪

♪ Yeah I have a crush and ♪
♪ I just want you to see ♪

♪ That you were never a secret ♪

♪ To me ♪

Hey!

Oh, just keep it!

Did somebody order a pizza?

Everybody stay strong.

We've got cheese, veggie,

pepperoni...

Mmm.

Guys, we might have a hunger inside of us,

but it is not for food.

It's for justice, it's for righteousness,

- it's for...
- Pizza!

- Gimme a slice!
- So hungry!

Oh, my God, there you are.
Can you believe I did that?

Did I sound nervous?
Because I was about to pee my pants.

It's too bad you didn't.

I heard Liam finds that a real turn-on.

Wait, are you mad?

I thought you'd be proud of me.

You've always said that
I should sing in public.

Yeah, and you never have, but
the second it impresses some boy

you're out there belting it like Adele.

I don't get it.

Y-you really think I sounded like Adele?

I am so sick of the way
you've been acting lately.

Chaining yourself to doors,
calling out hunger strikes.

And for what... so some boy you hardly know

will fall in love with you.

What do you even know about Liam

except he's the hottest guy in school?

I know that he's into protesting things,

and he fights against corporate greed,

and he has integrity.

Maybe he can lend you some.

You need to eat.

You're always bitchy when you're hungry.

And so what if I like
the hottest guy in school?

I'm a
teenage girl.

I managed to snag a
couple slices of Hawaiian.

How do you feel about fruit on your pizza?

♪ See my panties from below ♪

♪ Pout my lips and curl my hair ♪

♪ Make you wish you'd never ♪

♪ My mama said that I ♪
♪ should knock you out ♪

I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that.

Great job, kids.

I so appreciate your spunk.

You lost the battle,
but you will win the war.

We did you. Now let's do me.

Indirect lighting
in the girls' bathroom,

handicapped parking passes,
chair of the prom committee?

Small price to pay for
doing your dirty work.

And I sold my soul.

Today was a good day.

Can we have a piece of pizza now?

I can feel my body digesting itself.

That means it's working.

♪ Slippery ♪

♪ Yet I've got a good grip ♪

♪ So suddenly ♪

Can't believe you made it out.

Yeah, you know me.

So, do you want to...

I can't.

Mm.

♪ Make the girl dance ♪

♪ Make the girl dance ♪
♪ make the girl dance ♪

♪ Make the girl dance ♪

♪ Dance like no one's watching ♪

Get in.

♪ Live like no one's out there ♪

♪ Dance like no one's watchin' ♪

Okay, there's no easy way to say this,

so I'm just gonna rip
the band-aid right off.

There's something going
on between Karma and Liam.

What?

No. Karma and Liam, she would never...

Yeah, you're right.

Wait, wait, so you knew
she's also into guys?

I had a clue.

Ah...

The elusive bisexual.
They are a tricky beast.

Here, bring it in.

Come on.

I've been down this
yellow brick road before.

Dating someone bi is
a lesson in insecurity.

Yeah.

I wish she was bi.

Trust me, I saw the way she
and Liam were eye humping.

Felt like I should break
into the chemistry lab

and use the eye wash.

If I tell you something super secret,

you promise you won't tell anyone?

Gay scout's honor.

Um...

Karma and I are...

are faking it.

What, like orgasms?

Because my mom sells adult
toys from the trunk of her car.

Long story, but I can get you a discount.

- No.
- Not a problem.

No. We're faking being lesbians.

Karma is.

I'm not so sure.

You have my attention.

♪ I can't abide ♪

Next on Faking It...

I was just having fun
hanging out with you two.

I don't know what you're
up to, but cut it out.

- What is your deal?
- You know what you did.

You were right about Liam. We're done.

Please call me back.

I need you to help me find a girlfriend.

Whoa.

If I'm having all these feelings for Karma

then I must be a lesbian.

That's not how online dating works.

If you get a hit off
this, it'll be a miracle.

Here it goes.

I am dying to see how this plays out.