Escape to the Chateau DIY (2018–2021): Season 1, Episode 7 - The Baillie-Smiths and the Halpins 7 - full transcript
I'm Dick Strawbridge,
and along with my wife Angel
and our two children,
we left the UK
for a whole new life in France
and bought
this magnificent chateau.
We haven't ever regretted
what we've done.
It is so worth it.
Dick, voice-over: We've
gradually been making it
into our home, as well
as running it as a business...
That's a long way up.
Dick, voice-over: but it
turns out we're not alone
as dozens of Brits are doing
exactly the same thing.
Boy: Ha ha!
Sometimes, you have to pinch
yourself to think, "I own that."
Dick, voice-over:
In this series, Angel and I
will reveal more
about our journey
as chateau owners...
Find a lot of scrap here.
It's worth money.
Might be able to pay you
this time.
Dick, voice-over: and guide
these daring Brits
where we can...
It's a solid old bridge, matey.
Dick, voice-over:
as they renovate...
This is looking good.
I'm quite happy with this.
Dick, voice-over: repair...
I've never done this before,
so it should be all right.
Dick, voice-over: and struggle
to transform these buildings
into their homes and businesses.
Go, go, go, go, go!
Absolutely magnificent.
This is the glamorous
chateau life
that everyone thinks I lead.
Just trying to avoid getting
my face
nearer the toilet seat.
Trying not to panic now.
Dick, voice-over: But however
hard the going gets,
these plucky Brits
can always say
they're kings and queens
of their very own castles.
Cheers! Chin-chin.
Dick, voice-over: Today...
one couple go in search
of their dream chateau...
Angelina: It's a nice drive.
It's just got
magical appeal
and it's got like
really cool outbuildings
and turrets as well.
Dick, voice-over: while Angel
and I go hunting for
treasures in our attic.
I love this bath.
I could fit in there.
- Darling...
- I know!
Dick, voice-over: And as one
chateau owner struggles
to be ready for the summer,
Mamma mia!
Man: It's the curse
of the accursed pool.
Dick, voice-over:
Another faces problems
before their biggest
event of the season.
Man: He's dug
the whole floor up
and put the whole place up
actually for months.
It's yet another thing
on the list of things to do,
and we could well do without.
Dick, voice-over:
Chateau du Bailleul.
This 17th-century castle
is the rented home
of Phil and Angelina
Bailey-Smith.
Following the success of their
first-ever paid event here,
they've decided to make
the Pays-de-la-Loire region
of Northwest France
their permanent home.
So they're stepping up the
search for their own place.
- I've got the map.
- I have the leaflets.
- And you've got the leaflets.
- We good to go?
Yeah. Let's go
and hunt some.
Dick, voice-over: But rather
than waiting for
the perfect chateau
to crop up,
today they're hitting the road
to search for themselves,
and they've got
a cunning plan.
Angelina: We've got leaflets
with us,
which are in English
and French.
Basically, what it says is,
"Is the chateau for sale?"
and our details are on it,
because not all chateaus
are listed with sale agents.
Dick, voice-over: But whilst
we're on the same page
with the location
and search method,
the style of the chateau
is another matter.
First of all, it's about
what it looks like, isn't it?
- Yeah.
- Yeah. It has to be pretty.
I don't really like
the medieval look.
This is where we're going to
have a slight difference
of opinion.
I don't care if it's a real
wreck and needs a lot of work.
I just want something that's
still got lots of outbuildings,
still got the land.
Dick, voice-over: When they
find one...
Phil: Let's have a look.
delivering their leaflet
is easier said than done.
Angelina:
There's not a post box.
Maybe he took out
the post box.
He was getting too much--
people like us.
Yeah, too many letters saying,
"Sell me your house."
Philip: In the UK, this would
be a National Trust
or something,
wouldn't it?
So like you'd get
to these gates,
and there'd be somebody
saying, "All right, it's 5 ..."
or something--
- Yeah.
Philip: I bet you it's
someone's failed event business.
They've done it all up
and then gone bankrupt.
It could be. I mean,
doesn't look like
it's been opened
for a long, long time.
Angelina: It's a nice drive.
It's just got magical appeal
and it's got like really cool
outbuildings.
There's turrets as well.
It ticks a lot of boxes,
but who knows what else its got.
You know, that's kind of like
the itch you need to scratch.
You need to know
what's there, you know?
Philip: Disappointing you can't
drop something right now.
Just remember where it is.
- OK, fine. Mm-hmm.
- Yeah?
Dick, voice-over: So it's
back on the road again.
The lush countryside
of the Pays-de-la-Loire
was the location of choice
for royalty, nobles,
and artists for centuries.
Today, hundreds
of the historic homes remain.
So it's perfect chateau-hunting
ground
for Phil and Angelina.
Angelina: We'll just keep
our eyes open,
drive around some more, and see
if we can spot some more.
Look for the usual signs of
chateau-iness.
Some are hidden away
amongst the forest.
Dick, voice-over: Sure enough,
10 minutes later, they spot one.
Angelina: It's very big.
Big project.
Philip: I think it's
probably too far gone.
So there's something
that shouts.
I like a project
that's too far gone.
Two years ago, I would have
sat there and gone,
"That would be
so stupid."
- Now you are stupid. Ha ha!
- Now I am stupid, yeah.
- I'll stick it in.
- OK.
Dick, voice-over: Searching for
a chateau,
you need to use
your imagination,
but looking at
the state of this place,
I think Phil's dreaming here,
and so does Angelina.
I absolutely love that, but I
know you reckon it's too weird.
It's so like big
and intimidating,
like just the sheer
scale size of it.
It's a bit scary,
isn't it?
If it's half as ruined
on the inside
as it looks
on the outside,
I might about just
get it finished before I die.
Yeah.
And I still
really want it.
Dick, voice-over: As they
drive past a cornfield,
something in the distance
catches Phil's eye.
- Wait, hold up.
- Ohh!
Angelina:
Oh, this is nice.
Ah, look at that!
- Do we go in and have a look?
- Yeah.
- All right.
- Come here. Let's cross.
Angelina: Oh, look.
It's beautiful.
Such a nice, stunning view.
It's like a chateau
that I would want,
you know, it's
pretty, ornate,
and lots of character
on the outside.
Don't get too excited.
Angelina: Shall we go in and see
if we can find the letter box?
Philip: Yeah, hopefully we can
get a better view, then. Come.
Can't tell which one
of the two roads it's on.
I think it's down this road.
I know it's down one of
the roads somewhere near ...
- Can you just keep an eye out?
- Yeah.
It's somewhere coming up.
I wanna have a look.
Dick, voice-over: This chateau
ticks a lot of
Phil and Angelina's boxes.
It's really pretty, isn't it?
Phil:
I like the outbuilding.
I couldn't see that before.
It was hidden by the tree.
Oh, look, they have
cellars as well.
Yeah, yeah.
I like that.
It's huge. It looks like
an abbey, doesn't it?
[Bell tolls loudly]
Whoo!
Stables.
So that's gonna be able
to get my cars
and all the rest of it in.
I really like
the character.
Find the letter box, yeah?
I like this.
Dick, voice-over: Could this be
their future chateau?
Let's go.
Dick, voice-over: We bought our
chateau back in 2015
from a family called
the Baglionis.
They offered to clear the attic
out of the odds and ends
that accumulated
over the years,
but Angel told them
to leave it all.
In 2016, we installed a lift
into the chateau's west tower.
And rather than keep
the shaft plain,
Angel came up with an idea
to decorate it
with pictures and some of the
interesting items left over
from the Baglionis.
The tower of curiosities
was born.
Today, Angel is hunting for more
items to install in the tower.
Dick bought me
these work gloves, and, man,
they've just given me
some sort of like bravery.
Um...
So now I can kill
spiders out with them.
I'm still finding things
that I haven't seen, you know.
Dick, voice-over: Angel homes in
on what looks like
a lady's suitcase.
I mean, just look at this.
I've got some of these
downstairs.
I'm not even sure
what they are.
Dick, voice-over: and is
intrigued by a set
of little glass bottles.
How gorgeous is that?
I mean, that with a little dried
flower in on the table.
They are gonna actually clean up
really, really, really lovely.
Dick, voice-over: Straightaway,
it's an excellent find
for the tower.
What else am I gonna
find in here?
I can't get this out.
I think it might be like
a matchbox or something,
obviously from a set.
Look. All matching.
All matching.
Isn't that beautiful?
Dick, voice-over: Angel will
take these down for cleaning
later, but for now,
there's more attic to search.
The chateau that
keeps on giving.
These look like all of the old
studying books,
a book that someone else has
used and loved.
I don't know. It's like
just love the idea
they've lived before.
Yeah, I'm a bit of
an old romantic. So...
Angel: Hey, baby. Did you see if
I could got lost?
[Breathing hard]
Yeah, what's happening?
- Huh? I just haven't had--
- It's still a long way up.
Huh? I'm just having
a little look.
You got your gloves on.
You're rummaging.
What I found...
Look how lovely.
Smell it. What do you
think it is?
Smell it? It's an old burner
of some description.
Sweet, isn't it? What do you
think this was for?
Sort of like...
[Whispering] I haven't got
my glasses on.
Oh, baby.
Whoo!
Have a little look.
Angel: And it came in this.
Hold on. More clues.
- I was like--
- Well, that's for...
I'm picking.
There's a mirror there.
You see that?
- Huh? No, I didn't.
- That comes out.
- That'll be a mirror.
- So it's a lady's set.
There you are.
Dick, voice-over: It's a lady's
traveling case.
And by the look of it,
it dates back to
the beginning
of the last century.
What a find!
We still haven't finished
looking through this stuff
yet, have we?
Ridiculous.
I want to show you
through here.
Dick, voice-over:
So far so good,
but not everything up here
can fit in the tower.
I love this bath.
What can we use it for, then?
We could turn it into a car
for Arthur.
Just step away,
have a look at this.
- Look at the size of that.
- Yeah.
And where is this
going to be?
Well, I do like it.
So you're gonna find
something to do with it?
I'd like to find something
to do with it.
Dick: This is not
a 2-person bath,
'cause the person
at this end...
Ha ha! I could
fit in there.
- Darling...
- I know!
No, OK. I can't see
a use for it at the minute.
Dick, voice-over: For now,
this will stay up here.
Of course, we're slowly adding
our own stuff to the Baglionis'.
When we were living in Southend
before we came across here,
we went and bought
this.
We bought it
in an antiques place for--
and Angela just before
she had Dorothy said--
we need to have
a nice little cot.
And then we came here,
and look what we got for free!
All the rest of them.
Took me months to fix this up.
Angel: I remember. This was your
little project, wasn't it?
So sitting outside on the deck
and your wire brush,
hoping it was gonna be
a little girl.
Dick: Well, actually, we were
gonna put a little boy
in there anyway.
Dick, voice-over: In the
Pays-de-la-Loire
sits Chateau de Jalesnes.
It's the home and business
of Michael and Jonathan.
But since they bought
this place two years ago,
the business
has been struggling.
They will decide whether
to continue or not
after seeing how their biggest
wedding of the year goes.
It was a few months ago that
American couple Steph and Dave
decided to have
their wedding here.
- Hello!
- Happy to see you.
- Lovely to see you.
- Hi. It's me--Michael.
Hello! Good to meet you,
Michael.
Dick, voice-over: And now the
whole of the Chateau de Jalesne
is booked out
for the big event.
But today, preparations
aren't flowing
as well as they should be.
We've had reports of a--ha!--
horrendous stink
in the west tower.
I've just been checking
the apartments,
starting at the top,
working my way down,
but I've got to the ground floor
and the door's locked.
And Michael's just gone
to get the key,
and hopefully we'll find
the cause of the problem.
[Sniffing]
Yes, you're right.
[Gagging and coughing]
Dick, voice-over: Michael and
Jonathan have a serious
problem with their sewage,
and the timing
couldn't be worse.
It's a bit of a panic, 'cause
we've got guests coming
and can't put them into
what--we've got 5, 6 rooms
out of action now
as a result.
So we need to sort it out.
Dick, voice-over:
The smell is so bad
that the bridal suite
and its adjacent rooms
are currently unusable.
They need this fixed quickly.
That's yet another thing
on the list of things to do
and we could well do without.
[Barking]
- Allo!
- Bonjour.
- Ca va bien?
- Bonjour.
[Speaking French]
Dick, voice-over: The local
plumbers think the problem
might be that the sewage pipe
under the floor
is the wrong angle
and is preventing the sewage
from flowing away.
There's this...contraslip.
Instead of going like that
to take it away, it's like that.
There is a block as well, so we
have to sort this block out,
'cause if you've got
a block there,
of course it's going to smell.
[Tapping]
Dick, voice-over: The plumbers
will have to pull up
the expensive
solid oak flooring
which was laid down
just 10 months ago.
[Crack]
Each piece will have to be
replaced,
and at £50 per square meter,
the stuff isn't cheap.
This job is turning into
a nightmare.
Just over 200 miles south,
the late 17th-century
Chateau Madame
is being restored by Brit Mandy
and her best friend and business
partner American Steve.
Steve: We lived together
for 9 years,
and then we parted
as a couple
and continued on as friends.
We do things.
Somehow we are still
good friends.
Yeah, more than good friends,
if I may.
OK, OK.
Dick, voice-over: They're trying
to get this place ready
for the chateau's
first-ever paying guests
in 6 weeks' time.
Steve: It costs money
to have a chateau.
And in some cases, it costs a
lot of money to have a chateau.
We need to be taking
renters in here
at the absolute opening
of the season
as soon as possible.
Dick, voice-over: But Steve and
Mandy's preparations
for a new pool have been plagued
with problems.
They had a leak, now fixed after
a loose water jet was mended,
and a wall was blown down
in a storm,
which Steve and volunteers
are still rebuilding.
Steve: Obviously, stone walls
don't blow down in a storm,
but this one did.
Want to give this a little
teeny squirt here?
- Squirt?
- Just the top of the wall.
Dick, voice-over: But work
soon has to stop.
Here comes the stone.
This has been a long wait.
Dick, voice-over: 6 weeks ago,
Mandy and Steve picked out stone
for the pool's patio.
Mandy: This I like.
Dick, voice-over: But today,
it's finally arrived.
Steve: All right.
Oop! Watch this.
Dick, voice-over: The forklift
just has to deliver it
through the 17th-century
archway.
Man: No. No way.
No way.
Not happening.
You know...
[Laughing]
It would look great
over here.
What's a few tons of stone?
Dick, voice-over: I think Steve
or this pool
might actually be cursed.
Mamma mia!
It's the curse
of the accursed pool.
I went to some fair expense
to get a truck
with a forklift, but it
can't fit through the arch.
So now we have to
lift up every stone
and carry it in there
one at a time.
Anyway, I'm very happy
this is finally here.
This is absolutely
wonderful.
Dick, voice-over: That's
the spirit, Steve.
Onwards and upwards.
I have to say
it's a little annoying,
but it's mostly amusing
because it's just
the way it is.
I should probably name this
Catch-22 Chateau
instead of Chateau Madame.
Dick, voice-over:
300 miles away,
in the Pays-de-la-Loire,
Phil and Angelina's chateau
leafletting operation
has thrown up
its first response.
This will be something
interesting, I think.
Dick, voice-over: It's come
from the owner
of Chateau de la Faite,
the imposing 19th-century pile
they spotted by chance
from the road,
and he's open to selling it
and the whole 10-acre estate.
My mind is running wild,
thinking, you know,
what's it like inside?
You know, what else it's got.
A few key things
to look for now--
outbuildings, parking space,
and neighbors.
Those are the main things.
Obviously, the chateau in itself
is like what condition
is it in,
has it got features,
you know,
how much work is it?
Today, I'm really excited
about seeing a place
that I've kind of really wanted
to know what was inside.
Dick, voice-over: The owner,
Mr. Jean-Claude Connier,
bought the chateau
as an investment.
[Gate creaks loudly]
I'm really excited.
Dick, voice-over: With over
20 rooms, numerous outbuildings,
and 10 acres of land,
this chateau could be perfect
for the lavish home
and events venue
Phil and Angelina
have in mind.
Angelina: It's really stunning
outside the chateau.
It's not just about
the outside, really.
It's about what else
it has to offer.
Dick, voice-over: What it
certainly will offer
is a challenge.
They think the chateau's
been empty for years.
Entrez.
Wow! Look at that.
Look at that wallpaper.
It's really nice and neutral.
Love the color scheme
and that staircase...
Philip: All right.
I'm glad she's happy.
She would be the one
fixing it.
Dick, voice-over: Next door,
the chateau's huge drawing room
also gets Angelina's
seal of approval.
Look at that.
Look at that feature.
That chandelier
is so huge.
Really, really stunning.
There's a little bit more
than wallpapering to do.
Angelina: No, of course, but
it's pretty.
It is pretty. There's some great
plaster work.
You know, stunning
plaster work everywhere.
Very, very ornate.
Lots of them missing, though.
I like the gilding.
It's got the traditional
features that I wanted
in a chateau.
Rose-tinted glasses,
pessimist.
It's not the way it works.
Dick, voice-over: Phil might be
keeping his feet
firmly on the ground,
but Angelina looks ready
to put in an offer.
Just imagine if when this
is all done up,
you know, and then people
just walking through
the main entrance
into this room.
it'll be amazing
first impressions--
really, really gorgeous.
I'm just thinking
about the work involved
in making it what you're seeing
in your head currently.
Angelina: Well, the plaster work
from my point of view
isn't that difficult.
There's one whole piece
You copy that, and every one
that's missing you can--
Philip:
Let's look at the rest.
Let's have a look
at the rest before you
start getting over excited.
- OK.
Dick, voice-over: When viewing
a chateau,
I tried to see its potential
but also the cost
to get it up and running.
And given the state
of the interior,
I'm not surprised at
some of Phil's concerns.
She's having fun and
running around
like a kid
in a sweets shop
'cause it's beautiful,
but I know how much time
everything takes
on these places.
And if I'm looking at it going,
"That's gonna take ages,"
it'll take 3 times as long
and 3 times as much money.
Dick, voice-over: Yes,
running a chateau
is an expensive
business.
That's why Angel and I
are always on the hunt for ways
to save or make money
at Chateau de la Motte-Husson.
Luckily, our attic has a
plentiful source of free objects
to decorate the place
and, in particular,
our Tower of Curiosities.
Angel: That's a curious thing.
What's that?
What's that? Hold on.
It is a grape preserver.
Our chateau was built by
the Baglioni family
between 1868 and 1874.
When the family vacated
in 1999,
they also abandoned a lot
of their stuff in the attic,
and some of it is fascinating.
It preserves bunches of grapes.
You put the stalk
in this end,
and you fill the water
up the other end.
And you store grapes for long
periods of time in water.
Dick, voice-over:
This is definitely one
for the Tower of Curiosities.
Every room--
I'm not joking--
has, like,
something in it.
Like, look, look.
I mean, this is--ha ha!
- Go, baby.
- What?
That'll look good on you.
Look.
It's like an old
Victorian hatbox.
Darling, it's cardboard.
- Huh?
- Oh.
- Look.
- Lavalle!
- Made in Laval, actually.
- Yep.
Angel: These were
probably Baglioni.
Dick: Looks like it's been
eaten by a mouse.
Dick, voice-over: Yep, that can
stay up here for now.
Oh, dear. I really have no idea
why I like old things.
I don't know if it's
the history
or a lot of stuff
that is old is...
very well made.
I just wish I was
in that era.
I know it's weird.
Dick will never get it,
but he humors it,
so that's good.
- What's this?
- Huh? That's mine.
- Is it?
- Yeah.
- Does that count?
- Huh?
No, it doesn't count
if it's already mine.
In fact,
you bought it for me. Ha ha!
I bought that?
Really?
- Didn't you?
- No, no.
That's even worse that you think
I'd buy something like that.
- Ah! I love that.
- OK.
Dick, voice-over:
At Chateau de Jalesnes,
owners Michael and Jonathan
are struggling to sort out
a sewage problem that's stinking
out their west tower.
Instead of being a nice slope
like that, it's like that.
And all the paper and stuff
is coming, trying to get
up the hill and sitting on this
little ledge here.
Do you want to come
and have a look?
No. You'll laugh.
I'm not getting in there.
[Laughter]
- That's all right.
- Stinks.
[Drilling]
Dick, voice-over: The repair
could be very costly,
especially as the biggest
booking of the year
is just around the corner.
45 guests hoping to
be staying here
for a week-long
wedding event.
[Michael speaking French]
[Cutting]
Dick, voice-over: With
the pipes exposed,
the plumbers can now start their
investigation in more detail.
[Michael speaking French]
Dick, voice-over: The waste
from 3 toilets
meet at this junction.
[Toilet flushes]
As well as the sewage pipe
going uphill...
[Michael speaking French]
they discover another problem.
Jonathan:
There's a foreign body in it
that is part of the
renovation work.
It's a piece of concrete
or plastic
or a bit of both has got in
there with jagged edges,
and that's what's
causing the problem.
So there's your problem.
Dick, voice-over: Part one
of the problem solved.
Two pieces of old pipe
were lodged in
and were blocking the new
plastic pipe.
We've cleared it.
We've taken out
the two pieces of debris
that were blocking it
and the last thing we've got to
do is try to sort out
the slope of the pipe,
which is going in
the wrong direction
for the flow.
Dick, voice-over: Unfortunately
for Jonathan and Michael,
this may involve digging up
even more of the flooring.
[Man speaking French]
And even more
of the concrete.
This job is getting
bigger by the day.
Just over 200 miles south
at Chateau Madame,
after 6 weeks' wait,
Steve has finally got
his delivery of stone
for the pool's patio, but...
Steve: It will never happen.
Dick, voice-over: The forklift
can't fit through
his 17th-century arch.
Here we go. Such
a handsome piece of equipment.
Dick, voice-over: So he and
volunteers John and Miles
begin the task of
manually transporting
the 1 1/2 tons of stonework
to the poolside.
I think I'm gonna start off
with the margelles
Dick, voice-over: The margelles
are the pieces of stone
that will surround the pool.
Steve: This stuff's all been
shaped
to go around the steps.
That's fine. One of you laddies
want to do this? Ha ha!
Steve: I'm feeling for you.
John: So you have
a map for these or...
- A what?
- Sketch.
Well, no, but what it is is
those two guys there
are the corners that
make this angle.
Dick, voice-over: The stonemason
cut the margelles
to fit perfectly
around the pool,
but there are no instructions
were each piece should go.
If we put this in here
and the angles don't work...
just attach this to me
and push me in the pool.
[Laughter]
John: Steve, no problem!
So the first thing I'm noticing
is that this is radiused here
but not here,
which makes me think
that this is backwards.
John: So it's the other side.
Steve: You think it goes through
over there?
Or does that make sense?
John: Right, yeah.
It's not straight.
This is straight.
Steve: Well, obviously we're
doing something wrong
because they're perfect.
John: That's a radius. This
radius here should be here.
Steve: Maybe this does belong
on that side.
John: Yeah. You just had
the radius the wrong way.
- Hello.
- Hello.
So let's just put this like this
for the heck of it,
and we'll try to
figure it out as we go.
All right, so this is kind of
making sense to me.
[Stones clinking]
Miles: Weird curve.
Steve: Yeah, that's not
the way it goes.
Dick, voice-over: Mmm...
that doesn't look right.
Steve: Right, are you
gonna do the numbers?
John: Well, the numbers
sound like a lot of sense.
Well, OK.
John: I'm going to just use
my superior--
Steve: That's upside-down.
John: I was gonna say some
pretty intelligent--
Steve: Hopefully you put it
upside-down, there is...
[Laughter]
Steve: How many more
are there down there?
John: Two.
Let's see.
Steve: 5...
Dick, voice-over: As they
assemble the last piece
of the puzzle, it's obvious
it's not a perfect fit.
Steve: So their wiggle factor is
they give you extra stones
Dick, voice-over: But John
thinks he can rectify that.
Oh, I can tidy the angle.
I mean, they've got it
that close.
I can get that with
a couple of little touchups
on the side.
- Yep.
Dick, voice-over: And Steve's
determined to be optimistic.
The margelles look terrific.
It's been a long time.
The whole process
has been just so long.
But seeing the margelles
really is like the light
at the end of the tunnel.
Dick, voice-over:
Now Steve needs to lay down
the rest of the patio.
In just over a month,
the guests arrive.
That's enough time, it seems to
me, to get things done.
Dick, voice-over:
I wouldn't count on it.
Steve should know by now
that anything to do with
chateau renovation can be
a bottomless pit of expenses.
This is not
a way to make money.
Let me tell all people. This is
not the way to make money.
Dick, voice-over: Back in the
Pays-de-la-Loire,
Phil and Angelina
are continuing to explore
the 19th-century
Chateau de la Faite
as a potential new home
and business.
I do not want
to live like that.
Dick, voice-over: Phil has
serious reservations
about how much renovating
this place will require.
I'm thinking about all the work
that would actually
go into doing this
when it's already
this bad.
Dick, voice-over: But just as he
is about to give up,
the chateau reveals
more of its charm.
Philip: Do you know what,
it's better up here.
Angelina: Oh, wow. It's in
such good condition.
It's amazing how
the difference is
between ground floor
and the first floor.
It usually gets worse,
but in this chateau,
it's the other way around,
isn't it?
The wallpaper is not peeling.
There's a bit of dampness.
It's not too bad.
Original floors,
certainly old, you know.
Philip: There is a heating
system in place.
The radiators,
the old pipe, everything,
it requires redecorating
as opposed to ripping apart.
Once you sleep here
and wash and clean,
you go downstairs and, you know,
work away.
If you say so.
[Angelina speaking indistinctly]
There's just a random door.
That's how I can sneak out
of bed
in the middle of the night,
go have another beer.
How random.
I see its potential
in which to save it
because I don't know
anyone will.
Dick, voice-over: But as
Mr. Connier talks about
the chateau's French windows,
Philip and Angelina find out
a potential issue.
[Connier speaking French]
Dick, voice-over: The chateau is
a registered building.
Philip: He just mentioned that
it's on the Historic Register
It's a bit like a Great
Home listed building in the UK.
That could be
a real issue for us,
because we've got
limited knowledge
of just the way
things work.
Philip: Worse still,
if we do it wrong,
the fines that they will impose
will bankrupt us overnight.
Dick, voice-over: Putting this
troubling news
to one side for now, Phil and
Angelina move outside
to finish their tour.
That's nice.
See right there?
You might just see stinging
nettles and no roof.
I see a row
of motorbikes.
Dick, voice-over: But as they
continue to check out
the chateau's grounds,
they spot a neighbor's house,
which could ruin their plan
to hold parties
and other events here.
Philip: The neighbors
are too close.
I think that's a big problem
for what we're trying to do.
Yeah.
Angelina: It's, you know,
could be killed
by saying, "No, you're
having too many parties."
Philip: For me,
it's already done.
That's a risk
you can't take.
Dick, voice-over: As we know
all too well,
chateau-hunting is tough.
Phil and Angelina's viewing
has ended in frustration.
This chateau
isn't for them.
[Gate squeaks]
Angelina: Merci.
Angelina: I think it's nice,
but there are just so many
issues, which are crucial in
order for us to run a business.
It's quite clear that it's
not for us.
Philip: If you suddenly got a
raving party
until 3:00 in the morning,
people aren't gonna be happy.
So hopefully we get to hear
some more responses back
and we get to see something that
we do actually like
and work for us, you know.
All right, let's go.
Let's get searching on the
Internet a bit more, eh?
At Chateau de Jalesnes
in the Loire Valley,
it's the second day
of the big sewage repair.
6 rooms have been
out of action due to the smell,
and they need to be available
for the 45 guests
coming here soon for the biggest
wedding of the year.
Michael's partner Jonathan
is away on a business
meeting today...
[Both speaking French]
leaving Michael on his own
to monitor the French plumbers.
They've already got rid of
the blockage in the pipe.
These are old terracotta-style
pipes
that must have been broken
somewhere in the process,
and they ended up
lodged down here.
Dick, voice-over: Today, the
plumber's dealing with
another problem--the pipe slopes
in the wrong direction,
so waste can still get
stuck in it.
[Speaking French]
Dick, voice-over: The plumbers
remove more concrete flooring
and dug right underneath
and around the pipe.
OK.
This gives just enough distance
to let the pipe slope downwards.
But Michael's not sure
about the method used to do it.
Michael: All he's done is
stick a stone in it.
That seems a bit basic to me.
What do I know
about plumbing?
Dick, voice-over:
At mid-morning,
Jonathan calls Michael asking
for a progress report.
[Musical phone ring tone]
Hello. Bloke's been in.
He's just cleared all the rubble
from underneath the pipe.
He's put a stone in-between
the kitchen floor
and the pipe to make it go down
at a steeper angle,
and he's saying, "Right, it's
flowing now. It's OK."
It's not even brick.
It's a little stone.
And now he says that's it,
that's what he's doing.
Is that what you were
expecting?
I should have gone, Jon.
You should have stayed here.
Dick, voice-over: It's an
unorthodox solution
but a simple one
the plumber thinks will work.
Well, better get flushing,
Michael.
Let's see if he's right.
[Toilet flushes]
Go.
Michael: Yes, it's definitely
flowing through.
Good news. It wasn't
an ideal fix,
sticking a stone over there,
but it saved us
having to rip
the whole floor up
and put the whole place
out of action for months.
Result: chuffed.
- OK, merci...
- Au revoir.
Dick, voice-over: It's a fix.
Over the next couple of days,
they'll lay the concrete back in
and put down the new flooring
and all in time for
the big wedding
when 45 guests
will be descending on
Chateau de Jalesnes.
No doubt by then,
Jonathan and Michael
will have a whole new set
of problems to deal with.
Bon nouvelle.
Il a dit bon nouvelle.
Man: Pas and bon nouvelle.
Oh, pas and bon nouvelle.
Dick, voice-over: 200 miles
south at Chateau Madame,
just before he left,
Jonathan the volunteer
tweaked the margelles
around the pool.
Jonathan: It's gonna be even
so it's the same.
Now Steve is working on
the rest of the patio.
Mandy arrives with flowers
and plants to decorate.
She hasn't seen the pool area
since work started 6 weeks ago.
Mandy: Look at this!
Steve: What do you think?
Mandy: Looks great!
Looks amazing!
It was only 2 days ago
that it was weeds
and a mountain of dirt there--
Yeah, it looks really great.
- and everything.
Bravo!
[Both pretend to cough]
So where am I
putting my plants?
Made you a spot over here.
Yes, which is not all ready.
Well...what more
would you like done?
- We can rake this for you and--
- It's gravel.
It's got gravel in it.
It's got stones in it.
- All right.
- Yeah, it's not perfect.
Mandy: No. Great.
So these are your roses.
What do you think? Ohh!
Well, it was a rose there.
Steve: Great.
I think it's great.
I love that.
Mandy: I know. It's beautiful,
isn't it?
Dick, voice-over: Mandy believes
a vital part of her job
is to give Chateau Madame
a woman's touch.
Mandy: I keep trying to put
the little bit of more
feminine into it.
I'm fine. Fine with me.
I'm all for it.
I'd have more flowers
everywhere.
Steve: Well, I'm completely up
for more flowers,
not only everywhere
but all the time.
- OK.
- It's fantastic.
I can't get over it.
Mandy: Wow. That was a success.
I can't believe it. Ha ha!
You know, but now that I think
about it...
Kkkk! Kkkk!
No, it is. It's wonderful.
Dick, voice-over: Once
the roses are in,
Mandy cracks home
with the herb garden.
But ever the perfectionist,
Steve can't resist
downing tools
to come and supervise.
I think I would put
the larger things to the back
because we want to have
privacy for the shower.
Mandy: Why do you keep saying
privacy for the shower?
Because they're gonna be
in bathing suits.
Nothing is gonna block,
unless you want to put
the hibiscus up here.
Steve: All right, well you ask
the question
and I'll try to answer it.
You have to come up
with a question.
How does it look?
I think it looks good. Just
something behind your left leg
there to hide the shower.
Ha ha!
I think those look terrific.
OK. I'll plant it.
I just need something
to make a hole...
- OK.
- and then I'm in.
Steve: Okey doke.
Mandy: Dear oh, dear, oh, dear.
Ha ha ha!
Dick, voice-over: Now that's
settled,
it takes just half an hour for
Mandy to plant the entire bed.
Steve: I think you've got it
really nice.
Looks very nice.
Dick, voice-over:
Coming from Steve,
that's high praise indeed.
Mandy: So I think that's all
I can really do.
The whole pool area, when I
think about how it was before,
the very, very, very beginning,
it was awful.
Steve: Yep, I think so, too.
But now it really--
it looks great.
- Yep. The change is enormous.
- Mm-hmm.
Dick, voice-over: But they're
not out of the woods just yet.
Tomorrow, the first guests
of the summer arrive.
and Mandy and Steve are
running out of time
to get the patio finished.
Steve: It's scary. I'll have to
try to cope with that.
Dick, voice-over: 350 miles
north in the Pays-de-la-Loire,
a week after viewing
their first chateau,
Phil and Angelina
have been continuing the hunt
for their dream place.
- It's really nicely done.
- Yeah.
- I like--
- This house is so nicely
decorated, honestly.
Dick, voice-over:
They've even taken on
an estate agent.
- Very simple floor plan.
- Mm-hmm.
Two main rooms on each side
under the turrets.
Angelina: OK.
Dick, voice-over:
But although there are
always things to tempt them...
It's really lovely. Look at
this. My very own chariot. Ha!
I can be carried
around in it.
Phil: I'm not carrying
you anywhere.
Dick, voice-over: Nothing they
see is quite hitting the mark.
Philip: It's just there's
something that's not
working for me.
Angelina: I just kind of
wanted a bit more...
femininity in the chateau.
Is it perfect? No.
Dick, voice-over: So they've
come to a decision.
to rent the current home
Chateau Bailleul
for another year.
Angelina: We've been in the
chateau for just under 2 years.
I still love it. I still enjoy
every day.
I still enjoy
working every day,
you know, doing stuff.
And I'm still creating,
and I'm still learning.
Philip: We know the business
has got the glimmers of hope
that I can say,
"Let's invest in this
more than just our time."
Dick, voice-over: They're still
open to finding their own place.
Philip: But that's more
difficult than it appears,
so the search is ongoing.
I'm really, really excited
about the prospect
of finding and owning a chateau
to call our home.
Dick, voice-over:
But for now, this is
where they'll be.
We wish you all the best
with your business
here at Chateau Bailleul,
Phil and Angelina.
* The dream
is still alive *
Not after that singing,
it's not.
Dick, voice-over: Back at
Chateau de la Motte-Husson,
Angel and I are coming to the
end of our search
for objects for our Tower of
Curiosities,
but things keep grabbing
our attention.
Now, that must be
something specific.
That's for...it looks like
an arrow quiver.
Put a little belt holder on it.
Ah!
Look at that, baby.
What's that?
Oh, that's...
Let's see.
Oh! I thought it was
part of the house. It's not.
- That's a fossil!
- A real fossil.
Dick: That's a real fossil,
darling.
I don't know what it's
a fossil of,
but it looks like one of those
spirally things.
Dick, voice-over: Our little
Arthur loves fossils.
This could go
in his room.
Dick: You know, we never really
bring a torch up here, do we?
- Oh, that's the bed.
- That's not a bed.
April: Is it not?
Dick: No. This is
a travel case.
This is the way
you used to travel.
April: That's quite nice,
though, isn't it?
Dick: It is. It's big.
Dick, voice-over: This is late
19th century.
They built them big then.
April:
I absolutely love that.
- It's a seine net.
- What's a seine net?
Dick: To circulate, you throw
out and then you put it all
together, and you catch
the things in it.
April: So I could pretend to use
that for decoration.
You can use that for decoration,
definitely.
All those little lead weights
on the bottom are there.
They're color-coded,
those lead weights.
Dick, voice-over: A lot of this
stuff goes back to 1874,
when the previous owners,
the Baglionis,
first moved into this place.
- You know what that is.
- No.
This will be
for floor scrubbing.
How do you know this stuff?
That is lovely.
That is--
Very old.
Dick, voice-over: A lot of the
things we find here
are long gone from
the modern world,
and sometimes I think
that's for the best.
So uncivilized, isn't it?
April: Mm-hmm.
This is for putting on a calf,
stop it suckling.
So we fit it round a calf and
every time it went to feed on
its mother, it spanks mum and
the mum wouldn't let it feed.
That's how you stop a--that's
how you wean a calf.
Or used to wean a calf.
I can't imagine anyone would be
happy using that method today.
I would agree.
Now you'll find that in the back
streets of Soho.
[Chuckling]
What?
Dick, voice-over:
That's enough hunting for now.
The next day, Angel starts
to clean up
some of the goodies we found
and place them in the tower.
These little trinkets,
they didn't have a purpose,
and now they do, you know.
It's now on display.
'Cause it's part of the history
of this place.
I'm not gonna use it,
and I'm not gonna
chuck it away.
And I'm sure, as we're here
longer and longer,
I'm gonna add
to this room.
I'm quite looking forward to
seeing it in 10 years' time.
Dick, voice-over: Next time...
Angel gets crafty.
What are you doing
in my kitchen anyway?
Is it OK, babe, if I just
use your kitchen for a minute
to make some candles?
Dick, voice-over:
And wedding cakes.
- Oh, what's got here?
- Ta-da! Ha ha!
Dick: Mm-mmm!
Dick, voice-over: It's the big
day for Michael and Jonathan
at their chateau, but...
Jonathan:
The lift has jammed itself
on the ground floor.
Dick, voice-over: There's
one problem...
They don't think they've got
any more parts like it
because it's so old.
Dick, voice-over:
after another.
Man: I found the pipe
that's leaking.
It's got a split in it.
It looks like
it is the main pipe.
And Steve and Mandy struggle
to get Chateau Madame's pool
ready for their guests.
Steve: This is full of sand.
[Thunder]
That is very threatening--
without any question,
the most frustrating thing.
and along with my wife Angel
and our two children,
we left the UK
for a whole new life in France
and bought
this magnificent chateau.
We haven't ever regretted
what we've done.
It is so worth it.
Dick, voice-over: We've
gradually been making it
into our home, as well
as running it as a business...
That's a long way up.
Dick, voice-over: but it
turns out we're not alone
as dozens of Brits are doing
exactly the same thing.
Boy: Ha ha!
Sometimes, you have to pinch
yourself to think, "I own that."
Dick, voice-over:
In this series, Angel and I
will reveal more
about our journey
as chateau owners...
Find a lot of scrap here.
It's worth money.
Might be able to pay you
this time.
Dick, voice-over: and guide
these daring Brits
where we can...
It's a solid old bridge, matey.
Dick, voice-over:
as they renovate...
This is looking good.
I'm quite happy with this.
Dick, voice-over: repair...
I've never done this before,
so it should be all right.
Dick, voice-over: and struggle
to transform these buildings
into their homes and businesses.
Go, go, go, go, go!
Absolutely magnificent.
This is the glamorous
chateau life
that everyone thinks I lead.
Just trying to avoid getting
my face
nearer the toilet seat.
Trying not to panic now.
Dick, voice-over: But however
hard the going gets,
these plucky Brits
can always say
they're kings and queens
of their very own castles.
Cheers! Chin-chin.
Dick, voice-over: Today...
one couple go in search
of their dream chateau...
Angelina: It's a nice drive.
It's just got
magical appeal
and it's got like
really cool outbuildings
and turrets as well.
Dick, voice-over: while Angel
and I go hunting for
treasures in our attic.
I love this bath.
I could fit in there.
- Darling...
- I know!
Dick, voice-over: And as one
chateau owner struggles
to be ready for the summer,
Mamma mia!
Man: It's the curse
of the accursed pool.
Dick, voice-over:
Another faces problems
before their biggest
event of the season.
Man: He's dug
the whole floor up
and put the whole place up
actually for months.
It's yet another thing
on the list of things to do,
and we could well do without.
Dick, voice-over:
Chateau du Bailleul.
This 17th-century castle
is the rented home
of Phil and Angelina
Bailey-Smith.
Following the success of their
first-ever paid event here,
they've decided to make
the Pays-de-la-Loire region
of Northwest France
their permanent home.
So they're stepping up the
search for their own place.
- I've got the map.
- I have the leaflets.
- And you've got the leaflets.
- We good to go?
Yeah. Let's go
and hunt some.
Dick, voice-over: But rather
than waiting for
the perfect chateau
to crop up,
today they're hitting the road
to search for themselves,
and they've got
a cunning plan.
Angelina: We've got leaflets
with us,
which are in English
and French.
Basically, what it says is,
"Is the chateau for sale?"
and our details are on it,
because not all chateaus
are listed with sale agents.
Dick, voice-over: But whilst
we're on the same page
with the location
and search method,
the style of the chateau
is another matter.
First of all, it's about
what it looks like, isn't it?
- Yeah.
- Yeah. It has to be pretty.
I don't really like
the medieval look.
This is where we're going to
have a slight difference
of opinion.
I don't care if it's a real
wreck and needs a lot of work.
I just want something that's
still got lots of outbuildings,
still got the land.
Dick, voice-over: When they
find one...
Phil: Let's have a look.
delivering their leaflet
is easier said than done.
Angelina:
There's not a post box.
Maybe he took out
the post box.
He was getting too much--
people like us.
Yeah, too many letters saying,
"Sell me your house."
Philip: In the UK, this would
be a National Trust
or something,
wouldn't it?
So like you'd get
to these gates,
and there'd be somebody
saying, "All right, it's 5 ..."
or something--
- Yeah.
Philip: I bet you it's
someone's failed event business.
They've done it all up
and then gone bankrupt.
It could be. I mean,
doesn't look like
it's been opened
for a long, long time.
Angelina: It's a nice drive.
It's just got magical appeal
and it's got like really cool
outbuildings.
There's turrets as well.
It ticks a lot of boxes,
but who knows what else its got.
You know, that's kind of like
the itch you need to scratch.
You need to know
what's there, you know?
Philip: Disappointing you can't
drop something right now.
Just remember where it is.
- OK, fine. Mm-hmm.
- Yeah?
Dick, voice-over: So it's
back on the road again.
The lush countryside
of the Pays-de-la-Loire
was the location of choice
for royalty, nobles,
and artists for centuries.
Today, hundreds
of the historic homes remain.
So it's perfect chateau-hunting
ground
for Phil and Angelina.
Angelina: We'll just keep
our eyes open,
drive around some more, and see
if we can spot some more.
Look for the usual signs of
chateau-iness.
Some are hidden away
amongst the forest.
Dick, voice-over: Sure enough,
10 minutes later, they spot one.
Angelina: It's very big.
Big project.
Philip: I think it's
probably too far gone.
So there's something
that shouts.
I like a project
that's too far gone.
Two years ago, I would have
sat there and gone,
"That would be
so stupid."
- Now you are stupid. Ha ha!
- Now I am stupid, yeah.
- I'll stick it in.
- OK.
Dick, voice-over: Searching for
a chateau,
you need to use
your imagination,
but looking at
the state of this place,
I think Phil's dreaming here,
and so does Angelina.
I absolutely love that, but I
know you reckon it's too weird.
It's so like big
and intimidating,
like just the sheer
scale size of it.
It's a bit scary,
isn't it?
If it's half as ruined
on the inside
as it looks
on the outside,
I might about just
get it finished before I die.
Yeah.
And I still
really want it.
Dick, voice-over: As they
drive past a cornfield,
something in the distance
catches Phil's eye.
- Wait, hold up.
- Ohh!
Angelina:
Oh, this is nice.
Ah, look at that!
- Do we go in and have a look?
- Yeah.
- All right.
- Come here. Let's cross.
Angelina: Oh, look.
It's beautiful.
Such a nice, stunning view.
It's like a chateau
that I would want,
you know, it's
pretty, ornate,
and lots of character
on the outside.
Don't get too excited.
Angelina: Shall we go in and see
if we can find the letter box?
Philip: Yeah, hopefully we can
get a better view, then. Come.
Can't tell which one
of the two roads it's on.
I think it's down this road.
I know it's down one of
the roads somewhere near ...
- Can you just keep an eye out?
- Yeah.
It's somewhere coming up.
I wanna have a look.
Dick, voice-over: This chateau
ticks a lot of
Phil and Angelina's boxes.
It's really pretty, isn't it?
Phil:
I like the outbuilding.
I couldn't see that before.
It was hidden by the tree.
Oh, look, they have
cellars as well.
Yeah, yeah.
I like that.
It's huge. It looks like
an abbey, doesn't it?
[Bell tolls loudly]
Whoo!
Stables.
So that's gonna be able
to get my cars
and all the rest of it in.
I really like
the character.
Find the letter box, yeah?
I like this.
Dick, voice-over: Could this be
their future chateau?
Let's go.
Dick, voice-over: We bought our
chateau back in 2015
from a family called
the Baglionis.
They offered to clear the attic
out of the odds and ends
that accumulated
over the years,
but Angel told them
to leave it all.
In 2016, we installed a lift
into the chateau's west tower.
And rather than keep
the shaft plain,
Angel came up with an idea
to decorate it
with pictures and some of the
interesting items left over
from the Baglionis.
The tower of curiosities
was born.
Today, Angel is hunting for more
items to install in the tower.
Dick bought me
these work gloves, and, man,
they've just given me
some sort of like bravery.
Um...
So now I can kill
spiders out with them.
I'm still finding things
that I haven't seen, you know.
Dick, voice-over: Angel homes in
on what looks like
a lady's suitcase.
I mean, just look at this.
I've got some of these
downstairs.
I'm not even sure
what they are.
Dick, voice-over: and is
intrigued by a set
of little glass bottles.
How gorgeous is that?
I mean, that with a little dried
flower in on the table.
They are gonna actually clean up
really, really, really lovely.
Dick, voice-over: Straightaway,
it's an excellent find
for the tower.
What else am I gonna
find in here?
I can't get this out.
I think it might be like
a matchbox or something,
obviously from a set.
Look. All matching.
All matching.
Isn't that beautiful?
Dick, voice-over: Angel will
take these down for cleaning
later, but for now,
there's more attic to search.
The chateau that
keeps on giving.
These look like all of the old
studying books,
a book that someone else has
used and loved.
I don't know. It's like
just love the idea
they've lived before.
Yeah, I'm a bit of
an old romantic. So...
Angel: Hey, baby. Did you see if
I could got lost?
[Breathing hard]
Yeah, what's happening?
- Huh? I just haven't had--
- It's still a long way up.
Huh? I'm just having
a little look.
You got your gloves on.
You're rummaging.
What I found...
Look how lovely.
Smell it. What do you
think it is?
Smell it? It's an old burner
of some description.
Sweet, isn't it? What do you
think this was for?
Sort of like...
[Whispering] I haven't got
my glasses on.
Oh, baby.
Whoo!
Have a little look.
Angel: And it came in this.
Hold on. More clues.
- I was like--
- Well, that's for...
I'm picking.
There's a mirror there.
You see that?
- Huh? No, I didn't.
- That comes out.
- That'll be a mirror.
- So it's a lady's set.
There you are.
Dick, voice-over: It's a lady's
traveling case.
And by the look of it,
it dates back to
the beginning
of the last century.
What a find!
We still haven't finished
looking through this stuff
yet, have we?
Ridiculous.
I want to show you
through here.
Dick, voice-over:
So far so good,
but not everything up here
can fit in the tower.
I love this bath.
What can we use it for, then?
We could turn it into a car
for Arthur.
Just step away,
have a look at this.
- Look at the size of that.
- Yeah.
And where is this
going to be?
Well, I do like it.
So you're gonna find
something to do with it?
I'd like to find something
to do with it.
Dick: This is not
a 2-person bath,
'cause the person
at this end...
Ha ha! I could
fit in there.
- Darling...
- I know!
No, OK. I can't see
a use for it at the minute.
Dick, voice-over: For now,
this will stay up here.
Of course, we're slowly adding
our own stuff to the Baglionis'.
When we were living in Southend
before we came across here,
we went and bought
this.
We bought it
in an antiques place for--
and Angela just before
she had Dorothy said--
we need to have
a nice little cot.
And then we came here,
and look what we got for free!
All the rest of them.
Took me months to fix this up.
Angel: I remember. This was your
little project, wasn't it?
So sitting outside on the deck
and your wire brush,
hoping it was gonna be
a little girl.
Dick: Well, actually, we were
gonna put a little boy
in there anyway.
Dick, voice-over: In the
Pays-de-la-Loire
sits Chateau de Jalesnes.
It's the home and business
of Michael and Jonathan.
But since they bought
this place two years ago,
the business
has been struggling.
They will decide whether
to continue or not
after seeing how their biggest
wedding of the year goes.
It was a few months ago that
American couple Steph and Dave
decided to have
their wedding here.
- Hello!
- Happy to see you.
- Lovely to see you.
- Hi. It's me--Michael.
Hello! Good to meet you,
Michael.
Dick, voice-over: And now the
whole of the Chateau de Jalesne
is booked out
for the big event.
But today, preparations
aren't flowing
as well as they should be.
We've had reports of a--ha!--
horrendous stink
in the west tower.
I've just been checking
the apartments,
starting at the top,
working my way down,
but I've got to the ground floor
and the door's locked.
And Michael's just gone
to get the key,
and hopefully we'll find
the cause of the problem.
[Sniffing]
Yes, you're right.
[Gagging and coughing]
Dick, voice-over: Michael and
Jonathan have a serious
problem with their sewage,
and the timing
couldn't be worse.
It's a bit of a panic, 'cause
we've got guests coming
and can't put them into
what--we've got 5, 6 rooms
out of action now
as a result.
So we need to sort it out.
Dick, voice-over:
The smell is so bad
that the bridal suite
and its adjacent rooms
are currently unusable.
They need this fixed quickly.
That's yet another thing
on the list of things to do
and we could well do without.
[Barking]
- Allo!
- Bonjour.
- Ca va bien?
- Bonjour.
[Speaking French]
Dick, voice-over: The local
plumbers think the problem
might be that the sewage pipe
under the floor
is the wrong angle
and is preventing the sewage
from flowing away.
There's this...contraslip.
Instead of going like that
to take it away, it's like that.
There is a block as well, so we
have to sort this block out,
'cause if you've got
a block there,
of course it's going to smell.
[Tapping]
Dick, voice-over: The plumbers
will have to pull up
the expensive
solid oak flooring
which was laid down
just 10 months ago.
[Crack]
Each piece will have to be
replaced,
and at £50 per square meter,
the stuff isn't cheap.
This job is turning into
a nightmare.
Just over 200 miles south,
the late 17th-century
Chateau Madame
is being restored by Brit Mandy
and her best friend and business
partner American Steve.
Steve: We lived together
for 9 years,
and then we parted
as a couple
and continued on as friends.
We do things.
Somehow we are still
good friends.
Yeah, more than good friends,
if I may.
OK, OK.
Dick, voice-over: They're trying
to get this place ready
for the chateau's
first-ever paying guests
in 6 weeks' time.
Steve: It costs money
to have a chateau.
And in some cases, it costs a
lot of money to have a chateau.
We need to be taking
renters in here
at the absolute opening
of the season
as soon as possible.
Dick, voice-over: But Steve and
Mandy's preparations
for a new pool have been plagued
with problems.
They had a leak, now fixed after
a loose water jet was mended,
and a wall was blown down
in a storm,
which Steve and volunteers
are still rebuilding.
Steve: Obviously, stone walls
don't blow down in a storm,
but this one did.
Want to give this a little
teeny squirt here?
- Squirt?
- Just the top of the wall.
Dick, voice-over: But work
soon has to stop.
Here comes the stone.
This has been a long wait.
Dick, voice-over: 6 weeks ago,
Mandy and Steve picked out stone
for the pool's patio.
Mandy: This I like.
Dick, voice-over: But today,
it's finally arrived.
Steve: All right.
Oop! Watch this.
Dick, voice-over: The forklift
just has to deliver it
through the 17th-century
archway.
Man: No. No way.
No way.
Not happening.
You know...
[Laughing]
It would look great
over here.
What's a few tons of stone?
Dick, voice-over: I think Steve
or this pool
might actually be cursed.
Mamma mia!
It's the curse
of the accursed pool.
I went to some fair expense
to get a truck
with a forklift, but it
can't fit through the arch.
So now we have to
lift up every stone
and carry it in there
one at a time.
Anyway, I'm very happy
this is finally here.
This is absolutely
wonderful.
Dick, voice-over: That's
the spirit, Steve.
Onwards and upwards.
I have to say
it's a little annoying,
but it's mostly amusing
because it's just
the way it is.
I should probably name this
Catch-22 Chateau
instead of Chateau Madame.
Dick, voice-over:
300 miles away,
in the Pays-de-la-Loire,
Phil and Angelina's chateau
leafletting operation
has thrown up
its first response.
This will be something
interesting, I think.
Dick, voice-over: It's come
from the owner
of Chateau de la Faite,
the imposing 19th-century pile
they spotted by chance
from the road,
and he's open to selling it
and the whole 10-acre estate.
My mind is running wild,
thinking, you know,
what's it like inside?
You know, what else it's got.
A few key things
to look for now--
outbuildings, parking space,
and neighbors.
Those are the main things.
Obviously, the chateau in itself
is like what condition
is it in,
has it got features,
you know,
how much work is it?
Today, I'm really excited
about seeing a place
that I've kind of really wanted
to know what was inside.
Dick, voice-over: The owner,
Mr. Jean-Claude Connier,
bought the chateau
as an investment.
[Gate creaks loudly]
I'm really excited.
Dick, voice-over: With over
20 rooms, numerous outbuildings,
and 10 acres of land,
this chateau could be perfect
for the lavish home
and events venue
Phil and Angelina
have in mind.
Angelina: It's really stunning
outside the chateau.
It's not just about
the outside, really.
It's about what else
it has to offer.
Dick, voice-over: What it
certainly will offer
is a challenge.
They think the chateau's
been empty for years.
Entrez.
Wow! Look at that.
Look at that wallpaper.
It's really nice and neutral.
Love the color scheme
and that staircase...
Philip: All right.
I'm glad she's happy.
She would be the one
fixing it.
Dick, voice-over: Next door,
the chateau's huge drawing room
also gets Angelina's
seal of approval.
Look at that.
Look at that feature.
That chandelier
is so huge.
Really, really stunning.
There's a little bit more
than wallpapering to do.
Angelina: No, of course, but
it's pretty.
It is pretty. There's some great
plaster work.
You know, stunning
plaster work everywhere.
Very, very ornate.
Lots of them missing, though.
I like the gilding.
It's got the traditional
features that I wanted
in a chateau.
Rose-tinted glasses,
pessimist.
It's not the way it works.
Dick, voice-over: Phil might be
keeping his feet
firmly on the ground,
but Angelina looks ready
to put in an offer.
Just imagine if when this
is all done up,
you know, and then people
just walking through
the main entrance
into this room.
it'll be amazing
first impressions--
really, really gorgeous.
I'm just thinking
about the work involved
in making it what you're seeing
in your head currently.
Angelina: Well, the plaster work
from my point of view
isn't that difficult.
There's one whole piece
You copy that, and every one
that's missing you can--
Philip:
Let's look at the rest.
Let's have a look
at the rest before you
start getting over excited.
- OK.
Dick, voice-over: When viewing
a chateau,
I tried to see its potential
but also the cost
to get it up and running.
And given the state
of the interior,
I'm not surprised at
some of Phil's concerns.
She's having fun and
running around
like a kid
in a sweets shop
'cause it's beautiful,
but I know how much time
everything takes
on these places.
And if I'm looking at it going,
"That's gonna take ages,"
it'll take 3 times as long
and 3 times as much money.
Dick, voice-over: Yes,
running a chateau
is an expensive
business.
That's why Angel and I
are always on the hunt for ways
to save or make money
at Chateau de la Motte-Husson.
Luckily, our attic has a
plentiful source of free objects
to decorate the place
and, in particular,
our Tower of Curiosities.
Angel: That's a curious thing.
What's that?
What's that? Hold on.
It is a grape preserver.
Our chateau was built by
the Baglioni family
between 1868 and 1874.
When the family vacated
in 1999,
they also abandoned a lot
of their stuff in the attic,
and some of it is fascinating.
It preserves bunches of grapes.
You put the stalk
in this end,
and you fill the water
up the other end.
And you store grapes for long
periods of time in water.
Dick, voice-over:
This is definitely one
for the Tower of Curiosities.
Every room--
I'm not joking--
has, like,
something in it.
Like, look, look.
I mean, this is--ha ha!
- Go, baby.
- What?
That'll look good on you.
Look.
It's like an old
Victorian hatbox.
Darling, it's cardboard.
- Huh?
- Oh.
- Look.
- Lavalle!
- Made in Laval, actually.
- Yep.
Angel: These were
probably Baglioni.
Dick: Looks like it's been
eaten by a mouse.
Dick, voice-over: Yep, that can
stay up here for now.
Oh, dear. I really have no idea
why I like old things.
I don't know if it's
the history
or a lot of stuff
that is old is...
very well made.
I just wish I was
in that era.
I know it's weird.
Dick will never get it,
but he humors it,
so that's good.
- What's this?
- Huh? That's mine.
- Is it?
- Yeah.
- Does that count?
- Huh?
No, it doesn't count
if it's already mine.
In fact,
you bought it for me. Ha ha!
I bought that?
Really?
- Didn't you?
- No, no.
That's even worse that you think
I'd buy something like that.
- Ah! I love that.
- OK.
Dick, voice-over:
At Chateau de Jalesnes,
owners Michael and Jonathan
are struggling to sort out
a sewage problem that's stinking
out their west tower.
Instead of being a nice slope
like that, it's like that.
And all the paper and stuff
is coming, trying to get
up the hill and sitting on this
little ledge here.
Do you want to come
and have a look?
No. You'll laugh.
I'm not getting in there.
[Laughter]
- That's all right.
- Stinks.
[Drilling]
Dick, voice-over: The repair
could be very costly,
especially as the biggest
booking of the year
is just around the corner.
45 guests hoping to
be staying here
for a week-long
wedding event.
[Michael speaking French]
[Cutting]
Dick, voice-over: With
the pipes exposed,
the plumbers can now start their
investigation in more detail.
[Michael speaking French]
Dick, voice-over: The waste
from 3 toilets
meet at this junction.
[Toilet flushes]
As well as the sewage pipe
going uphill...
[Michael speaking French]
they discover another problem.
Jonathan:
There's a foreign body in it
that is part of the
renovation work.
It's a piece of concrete
or plastic
or a bit of both has got in
there with jagged edges,
and that's what's
causing the problem.
So there's your problem.
Dick, voice-over: Part one
of the problem solved.
Two pieces of old pipe
were lodged in
and were blocking the new
plastic pipe.
We've cleared it.
We've taken out
the two pieces of debris
that were blocking it
and the last thing we've got to
do is try to sort out
the slope of the pipe,
which is going in
the wrong direction
for the flow.
Dick, voice-over: Unfortunately
for Jonathan and Michael,
this may involve digging up
even more of the flooring.
[Man speaking French]
And even more
of the concrete.
This job is getting
bigger by the day.
Just over 200 miles south
at Chateau Madame,
after 6 weeks' wait,
Steve has finally got
his delivery of stone
for the pool's patio, but...
Steve: It will never happen.
Dick, voice-over: The forklift
can't fit through
his 17th-century arch.
Here we go. Such
a handsome piece of equipment.
Dick, voice-over: So he and
volunteers John and Miles
begin the task of
manually transporting
the 1 1/2 tons of stonework
to the poolside.
I think I'm gonna start off
with the margelles
Dick, voice-over: The margelles
are the pieces of stone
that will surround the pool.
Steve: This stuff's all been
shaped
to go around the steps.
That's fine. One of you laddies
want to do this? Ha ha!
Steve: I'm feeling for you.
John: So you have
a map for these or...
- A what?
- Sketch.
Well, no, but what it is is
those two guys there
are the corners that
make this angle.
Dick, voice-over: The stonemason
cut the margelles
to fit perfectly
around the pool,
but there are no instructions
were each piece should go.
If we put this in here
and the angles don't work...
just attach this to me
and push me in the pool.
[Laughter]
John: Steve, no problem!
So the first thing I'm noticing
is that this is radiused here
but not here,
which makes me think
that this is backwards.
John: So it's the other side.
Steve: You think it goes through
over there?
Or does that make sense?
John: Right, yeah.
It's not straight.
This is straight.
Steve: Well, obviously we're
doing something wrong
because they're perfect.
John: That's a radius. This
radius here should be here.
Steve: Maybe this does belong
on that side.
John: Yeah. You just had
the radius the wrong way.
- Hello.
- Hello.
So let's just put this like this
for the heck of it,
and we'll try to
figure it out as we go.
All right, so this is kind of
making sense to me.
[Stones clinking]
Miles: Weird curve.
Steve: Yeah, that's not
the way it goes.
Dick, voice-over: Mmm...
that doesn't look right.
Steve: Right, are you
gonna do the numbers?
John: Well, the numbers
sound like a lot of sense.
Well, OK.
John: I'm going to just use
my superior--
Steve: That's upside-down.
John: I was gonna say some
pretty intelligent--
Steve: Hopefully you put it
upside-down, there is...
[Laughter]
Steve: How many more
are there down there?
John: Two.
Let's see.
Steve: 5...
Dick, voice-over: As they
assemble the last piece
of the puzzle, it's obvious
it's not a perfect fit.
Steve: So their wiggle factor is
they give you extra stones
Dick, voice-over: But John
thinks he can rectify that.
Oh, I can tidy the angle.
I mean, they've got it
that close.
I can get that with
a couple of little touchups
on the side.
- Yep.
Dick, voice-over: And Steve's
determined to be optimistic.
The margelles look terrific.
It's been a long time.
The whole process
has been just so long.
But seeing the margelles
really is like the light
at the end of the tunnel.
Dick, voice-over:
Now Steve needs to lay down
the rest of the patio.
In just over a month,
the guests arrive.
That's enough time, it seems to
me, to get things done.
Dick, voice-over:
I wouldn't count on it.
Steve should know by now
that anything to do with
chateau renovation can be
a bottomless pit of expenses.
This is not
a way to make money.
Let me tell all people. This is
not the way to make money.
Dick, voice-over: Back in the
Pays-de-la-Loire,
Phil and Angelina
are continuing to explore
the 19th-century
Chateau de la Faite
as a potential new home
and business.
I do not want
to live like that.
Dick, voice-over: Phil has
serious reservations
about how much renovating
this place will require.
I'm thinking about all the work
that would actually
go into doing this
when it's already
this bad.
Dick, voice-over: But just as he
is about to give up,
the chateau reveals
more of its charm.
Philip: Do you know what,
it's better up here.
Angelina: Oh, wow. It's in
such good condition.
It's amazing how
the difference is
between ground floor
and the first floor.
It usually gets worse,
but in this chateau,
it's the other way around,
isn't it?
The wallpaper is not peeling.
There's a bit of dampness.
It's not too bad.
Original floors,
certainly old, you know.
Philip: There is a heating
system in place.
The radiators,
the old pipe, everything,
it requires redecorating
as opposed to ripping apart.
Once you sleep here
and wash and clean,
you go downstairs and, you know,
work away.
If you say so.
[Angelina speaking indistinctly]
There's just a random door.
That's how I can sneak out
of bed
in the middle of the night,
go have another beer.
How random.
I see its potential
in which to save it
because I don't know
anyone will.
Dick, voice-over: But as
Mr. Connier talks about
the chateau's French windows,
Philip and Angelina find out
a potential issue.
[Connier speaking French]
Dick, voice-over: The chateau is
a registered building.
Philip: He just mentioned that
it's on the Historic Register
It's a bit like a Great
Home listed building in the UK.
That could be
a real issue for us,
because we've got
limited knowledge
of just the way
things work.
Philip: Worse still,
if we do it wrong,
the fines that they will impose
will bankrupt us overnight.
Dick, voice-over: Putting this
troubling news
to one side for now, Phil and
Angelina move outside
to finish their tour.
That's nice.
See right there?
You might just see stinging
nettles and no roof.
I see a row
of motorbikes.
Dick, voice-over: But as they
continue to check out
the chateau's grounds,
they spot a neighbor's house,
which could ruin their plan
to hold parties
and other events here.
Philip: The neighbors
are too close.
I think that's a big problem
for what we're trying to do.
Yeah.
Angelina: It's, you know,
could be killed
by saying, "No, you're
having too many parties."
Philip: For me,
it's already done.
That's a risk
you can't take.
Dick, voice-over: As we know
all too well,
chateau-hunting is tough.
Phil and Angelina's viewing
has ended in frustration.
This chateau
isn't for them.
[Gate squeaks]
Angelina: Merci.
Angelina: I think it's nice,
but there are just so many
issues, which are crucial in
order for us to run a business.
It's quite clear that it's
not for us.
Philip: If you suddenly got a
raving party
until 3:00 in the morning,
people aren't gonna be happy.
So hopefully we get to hear
some more responses back
and we get to see something that
we do actually like
and work for us, you know.
All right, let's go.
Let's get searching on the
Internet a bit more, eh?
At Chateau de Jalesnes
in the Loire Valley,
it's the second day
of the big sewage repair.
6 rooms have been
out of action due to the smell,
and they need to be available
for the 45 guests
coming here soon for the biggest
wedding of the year.
Michael's partner Jonathan
is away on a business
meeting today...
[Both speaking French]
leaving Michael on his own
to monitor the French plumbers.
They've already got rid of
the blockage in the pipe.
These are old terracotta-style
pipes
that must have been broken
somewhere in the process,
and they ended up
lodged down here.
Dick, voice-over: Today, the
plumber's dealing with
another problem--the pipe slopes
in the wrong direction,
so waste can still get
stuck in it.
[Speaking French]
Dick, voice-over: The plumbers
remove more concrete flooring
and dug right underneath
and around the pipe.
OK.
This gives just enough distance
to let the pipe slope downwards.
But Michael's not sure
about the method used to do it.
Michael: All he's done is
stick a stone in it.
That seems a bit basic to me.
What do I know
about plumbing?
Dick, voice-over:
At mid-morning,
Jonathan calls Michael asking
for a progress report.
[Musical phone ring tone]
Hello. Bloke's been in.
He's just cleared all the rubble
from underneath the pipe.
He's put a stone in-between
the kitchen floor
and the pipe to make it go down
at a steeper angle,
and he's saying, "Right, it's
flowing now. It's OK."
It's not even brick.
It's a little stone.
And now he says that's it,
that's what he's doing.
Is that what you were
expecting?
I should have gone, Jon.
You should have stayed here.
Dick, voice-over: It's an
unorthodox solution
but a simple one
the plumber thinks will work.
Well, better get flushing,
Michael.
Let's see if he's right.
[Toilet flushes]
Go.
Michael: Yes, it's definitely
flowing through.
Good news. It wasn't
an ideal fix,
sticking a stone over there,
but it saved us
having to rip
the whole floor up
and put the whole place
out of action for months.
Result: chuffed.
- OK, merci...
- Au revoir.
Dick, voice-over: It's a fix.
Over the next couple of days,
they'll lay the concrete back in
and put down the new flooring
and all in time for
the big wedding
when 45 guests
will be descending on
Chateau de Jalesnes.
No doubt by then,
Jonathan and Michael
will have a whole new set
of problems to deal with.
Bon nouvelle.
Il a dit bon nouvelle.
Man: Pas and bon nouvelle.
Oh, pas and bon nouvelle.
Dick, voice-over: 200 miles
south at Chateau Madame,
just before he left,
Jonathan the volunteer
tweaked the margelles
around the pool.
Jonathan: It's gonna be even
so it's the same.
Now Steve is working on
the rest of the patio.
Mandy arrives with flowers
and plants to decorate.
She hasn't seen the pool area
since work started 6 weeks ago.
Mandy: Look at this!
Steve: What do you think?
Mandy: Looks great!
Looks amazing!
It was only 2 days ago
that it was weeds
and a mountain of dirt there--
Yeah, it looks really great.
- and everything.
Bravo!
[Both pretend to cough]
So where am I
putting my plants?
Made you a spot over here.
Yes, which is not all ready.
Well...what more
would you like done?
- We can rake this for you and--
- It's gravel.
It's got gravel in it.
It's got stones in it.
- All right.
- Yeah, it's not perfect.
Mandy: No. Great.
So these are your roses.
What do you think? Ohh!
Well, it was a rose there.
Steve: Great.
I think it's great.
I love that.
Mandy: I know. It's beautiful,
isn't it?
Dick, voice-over: Mandy believes
a vital part of her job
is to give Chateau Madame
a woman's touch.
Mandy: I keep trying to put
the little bit of more
feminine into it.
I'm fine. Fine with me.
I'm all for it.
I'd have more flowers
everywhere.
Steve: Well, I'm completely up
for more flowers,
not only everywhere
but all the time.
- OK.
- It's fantastic.
I can't get over it.
Mandy: Wow. That was a success.
I can't believe it. Ha ha!
You know, but now that I think
about it...
Kkkk! Kkkk!
No, it is. It's wonderful.
Dick, voice-over: Once
the roses are in,
Mandy cracks home
with the herb garden.
But ever the perfectionist,
Steve can't resist
downing tools
to come and supervise.
I think I would put
the larger things to the back
because we want to have
privacy for the shower.
Mandy: Why do you keep saying
privacy for the shower?
Because they're gonna be
in bathing suits.
Nothing is gonna block,
unless you want to put
the hibiscus up here.
Steve: All right, well you ask
the question
and I'll try to answer it.
You have to come up
with a question.
How does it look?
I think it looks good. Just
something behind your left leg
there to hide the shower.
Ha ha!
I think those look terrific.
OK. I'll plant it.
I just need something
to make a hole...
- OK.
- and then I'm in.
Steve: Okey doke.
Mandy: Dear oh, dear, oh, dear.
Ha ha ha!
Dick, voice-over: Now that's
settled,
it takes just half an hour for
Mandy to plant the entire bed.
Steve: I think you've got it
really nice.
Looks very nice.
Dick, voice-over:
Coming from Steve,
that's high praise indeed.
Mandy: So I think that's all
I can really do.
The whole pool area, when I
think about how it was before,
the very, very, very beginning,
it was awful.
Steve: Yep, I think so, too.
But now it really--
it looks great.
- Yep. The change is enormous.
- Mm-hmm.
Dick, voice-over: But they're
not out of the woods just yet.
Tomorrow, the first guests
of the summer arrive.
and Mandy and Steve are
running out of time
to get the patio finished.
Steve: It's scary. I'll have to
try to cope with that.
Dick, voice-over: 350 miles
north in the Pays-de-la-Loire,
a week after viewing
their first chateau,
Phil and Angelina
have been continuing the hunt
for their dream place.
- It's really nicely done.
- Yeah.
- I like--
- This house is so nicely
decorated, honestly.
Dick, voice-over:
They've even taken on
an estate agent.
- Very simple floor plan.
- Mm-hmm.
Two main rooms on each side
under the turrets.
Angelina: OK.
Dick, voice-over:
But although there are
always things to tempt them...
It's really lovely. Look at
this. My very own chariot. Ha!
I can be carried
around in it.
Phil: I'm not carrying
you anywhere.
Dick, voice-over: Nothing they
see is quite hitting the mark.
Philip: It's just there's
something that's not
working for me.
Angelina: I just kind of
wanted a bit more...
femininity in the chateau.
Is it perfect? No.
Dick, voice-over: So they've
come to a decision.
to rent the current home
Chateau Bailleul
for another year.
Angelina: We've been in the
chateau for just under 2 years.
I still love it. I still enjoy
every day.
I still enjoy
working every day,
you know, doing stuff.
And I'm still creating,
and I'm still learning.
Philip: We know the business
has got the glimmers of hope
that I can say,
"Let's invest in this
more than just our time."
Dick, voice-over: They're still
open to finding their own place.
Philip: But that's more
difficult than it appears,
so the search is ongoing.
I'm really, really excited
about the prospect
of finding and owning a chateau
to call our home.
Dick, voice-over:
But for now, this is
where they'll be.
We wish you all the best
with your business
here at Chateau Bailleul,
Phil and Angelina.
* The dream
is still alive *
Not after that singing,
it's not.
Dick, voice-over: Back at
Chateau de la Motte-Husson,
Angel and I are coming to the
end of our search
for objects for our Tower of
Curiosities,
but things keep grabbing
our attention.
Now, that must be
something specific.
That's for...it looks like
an arrow quiver.
Put a little belt holder on it.
Ah!
Look at that, baby.
What's that?
Oh, that's...
Let's see.
Oh! I thought it was
part of the house. It's not.
- That's a fossil!
- A real fossil.
Dick: That's a real fossil,
darling.
I don't know what it's
a fossil of,
but it looks like one of those
spirally things.
Dick, voice-over: Our little
Arthur loves fossils.
This could go
in his room.
Dick: You know, we never really
bring a torch up here, do we?
- Oh, that's the bed.
- That's not a bed.
April: Is it not?
Dick: No. This is
a travel case.
This is the way
you used to travel.
April: That's quite nice,
though, isn't it?
Dick: It is. It's big.
Dick, voice-over: This is late
19th century.
They built them big then.
April:
I absolutely love that.
- It's a seine net.
- What's a seine net?
Dick: To circulate, you throw
out and then you put it all
together, and you catch
the things in it.
April: So I could pretend to use
that for decoration.
You can use that for decoration,
definitely.
All those little lead weights
on the bottom are there.
They're color-coded,
those lead weights.
Dick, voice-over: A lot of this
stuff goes back to 1874,
when the previous owners,
the Baglionis,
first moved into this place.
- You know what that is.
- No.
This will be
for floor scrubbing.
How do you know this stuff?
That is lovely.
That is--
Very old.
Dick, voice-over: A lot of the
things we find here
are long gone from
the modern world,
and sometimes I think
that's for the best.
So uncivilized, isn't it?
April: Mm-hmm.
This is for putting on a calf,
stop it suckling.
So we fit it round a calf and
every time it went to feed on
its mother, it spanks mum and
the mum wouldn't let it feed.
That's how you stop a--that's
how you wean a calf.
Or used to wean a calf.
I can't imagine anyone would be
happy using that method today.
I would agree.
Now you'll find that in the back
streets of Soho.
[Chuckling]
What?
Dick, voice-over:
That's enough hunting for now.
The next day, Angel starts
to clean up
some of the goodies we found
and place them in the tower.
These little trinkets,
they didn't have a purpose,
and now they do, you know.
It's now on display.
'Cause it's part of the history
of this place.
I'm not gonna use it,
and I'm not gonna
chuck it away.
And I'm sure, as we're here
longer and longer,
I'm gonna add
to this room.
I'm quite looking forward to
seeing it in 10 years' time.
Dick, voice-over: Next time...
Angel gets crafty.
What are you doing
in my kitchen anyway?
Is it OK, babe, if I just
use your kitchen for a minute
to make some candles?
Dick, voice-over:
And wedding cakes.
- Oh, what's got here?
- Ta-da! Ha ha!
Dick: Mm-mmm!
Dick, voice-over: It's the big
day for Michael and Jonathan
at their chateau, but...
Jonathan:
The lift has jammed itself
on the ground floor.
Dick, voice-over: There's
one problem...
They don't think they've got
any more parts like it
because it's so old.
Dick, voice-over:
after another.
Man: I found the pipe
that's leaking.
It's got a split in it.
It looks like
it is the main pipe.
And Steve and Mandy struggle
to get Chateau Madame's pool
ready for their guests.
Steve: This is full of sand.
[Thunder]
That is very threatening--
without any question,
the most frustrating thing.