Empty Nest (1988–1995): Season 6, Episode 13 - Love a la Mode - full transcript
Four-letter word
for "leave quickly."
"Flee." very good.
Thank you, pal,
- morning, daddy.
- Morning, sweetheart.
- Scotty's sleeping?
- Yes. Blissfully so.
Nothing lulls
my suckling into slumber
like a sip
of his mother's sweet nectar.
Carol, do you have to be
so explicit?
A-ha. "Explicit."
There you go.
Sorry, daddy.
I'm just so enamored
with nursing.
You know, not only
do I bond with my child,
I burn over 500 calories a day.
Aerobics be damned.
I may breastfeed for life.
- Ha.
Hey, westons.
I got great news,
and here's a little hint:
Ding-dong. Ding-dong.
You made it with the avon lady.
No.
Those are wedding bells.
I'm getting married.
Okay, Charley.
What's the gag?
Somebody need a green card?
No.
I'm serious.
I finally met
the perfect someone
to spend the rest
of my life with.
I mean, besides you, Harry.
Charley, I didn't realize
you were this serious
about anyone.
- I'm sure I told you about her.
Patty Olsen?
Head waitress
down at the pie palace?
- Yeah.
- The one you tipped.
Harry, she's perfect.
She's different from every girl
I've ever gone out with.
She likes me.
That's probably Patty.
I left a note I'd be here.
Hi, hon. I missed you.
Missed you more.
- Did not.
- Did too.
Harry, Carol, this is my Patty.
Patty, this is my Harry
and his Carol.
And that's his dreyfuss.
Dreyf.
Dreyf. Dreyf.
Come on, settle.
It's not your fault.
I just came from work,
I probably reek of minced meat.
- Minced meat.
That just turns me on.
Well, Patty, Charley just
told us the good news, so...
Congratulations.
Congratulations?
- Right, hon...
- You wanna get hitched?
Charley.
I do! I do!
I do!
♪ I'm always here
♪ for anything you need
♪ rain or shine
♪ I'll be the one...
♪ ...we share it all
♪ as life goes on
Okay, Harry.
Now get one of me chewing
Patty's garter off.
Stop.
Charley, Charley, Charley,
can't you wait
until your honeymoon?
But that's a whole week.
You're getting married
in a week?
Isn't that
rather absurdly too soon?
Hey, the sooner
Patty and I tie the knot,
the sooner we can start making
little patties.
Yeah.
And little charleys.
Mon dieu.
- Thanks.
I'm pretty excited too.
Gosh, I bet when I tell
the gals at the pie palace
they're just gonna
go totally a la mode.
Course, Harry,
I want you to be my best man.
Really? Well, that's...
That's very nice of you.
I...
- I would... I'd be honored.
- Great. Great.
Now I went ahead and I booked
the artunian triplets
for the bachelor party.
Course you're gonna have
to rent a trapeze
for Malika and kiki.
Charley, kitchen, now.
I'll miss you.
Miss you more.
- Will not...
- That's enough!
Just get in there!
Patty, I know we've only
just met, but...
I'm fairly certain
I know Charley
a little better than you do.
You see, I've been his neighbor
for seven long years...
And you're kickin' yourself
for lettin' him get away, right?
Right. Well...
You're gonna be needing
that wacky sense of humor
if you plan on going through
with this.
Ab... no... absolutely not.
But what do you mean
no bachelor party?
Then why get married?
Look, Charley, you know,
I can ask Carol if she could...
Put together a quiet little
engagement party.
The kinda thing
you can invite your parents to.
Sounds great.
But mom and dad haven't been
getting along lately.
It's almost as if... they don't
like each other anymore.
Charley, they got divorced.
- Yeah.
That just made it worse.
Hey, I wonder
who got custody of me.
I did!
Dr. Douglas,
I got your mail here.
- Good.
- I hope he's rich, single,
and answers
to the name of "Shaquille."
Would you settle
for a letter from home?
Well, looks like a birthday
card from my aunt mirna.
It's your birthday?
I wish I would've known.
It's not till next week.
Next week? What day? When?
If I tell you, promise me
you'll keep it to yourself.
Last thing I wanna hear is
a bunch of tone-deaf people
singin' that lame old song,
remindin' me I'm another year
closer to death.
That old?
I won't tell a soul.
When is it?
The 15th.
And I definitely
don't wanna hear that.
Doctor, my birthday's
the 15th too.
How 'bout that?
This explains why you and me
are so much alike.
Why, we're practically twins.
Yeah.
Patients often tell me,
"you know,
you bear an uncanny resemblance
to that skinny white nurse."
Come on, Scotty.
Come on, let's have
a great big burp for grandpa.
Just pretend you're Charley.
How 'bout that?
Come on.
Um, come in, please.
Hey, Harry.
You remember my mom,
Ursula dietz.
Hello, you handsome dog, you.
- How could I forget her?
- Hi, there.
Hello, Ursula.
- Harry.
- What a lovely child.
Nice to know you still
pack a wallop.
No, no,
this is my daughter's child.
Really?
Do you mind
if I hold the cutie pie...
Cutie pie?
Well, yes, I suppose, sure here.
Knock it off.
- Daddy, thank god.
I thought you dropped f. Scott.
Carol,
I have never dropped Scotty.
He wriggled free once
during his bath.
Men.
Charley's father
used to drop him so often,
it stopped being funny.
That explains so much.
- Please, please, sit down.
- Thank you.
So Charley, has you mom
met Patty yet?
No, the pattster's
still in tampa.
She wanted to give her folks
the good news in person.
Gee, mom,
I'm so glad you're here
to share
the happiest day in my life.
Of course you are.
Now, Harry...
Are you, seeing anyone?
Yes, yes, several people.
Boy, dance card is full.
- Hi, Harry. Remember me?
Fred dietz. My boy over here?
- Yeah, sure, Fred.
Come on in.
- Dad!
- Hey.
I didn't think
you were gonna make it!
- He-hey. Are you kidding?
Miss the bachelor party?
Actually,
there's not gonna be one.
- No bachelor party?
Why get married?
Maybe Charles is in love, Fred.
Aw, is she here?
- Yes, she's here.
He's her son, too.
And for your information,
Harry has generously offered
to throw the kids
a huge engagement bash.
- Thanks, Harry.
I'd offer to chip in,
but things
have been a little tight
since my divorce from
"the great emasculator."
- Well, no, I understand.
- Listen, Ursula...
I hate to bring this up, but
about this month's alimony...
- You'll get it.
The check is in the mail.
Now get off my back.
Hey, blockhead, the meatballs
are a lot less crunchy
when you take out
the toothpicks.
Carol, what's this?
- Angel hair.
Well, tell angel
to put on a hairnet.
Charley, Charley, when I said
you could invite a few people,
I meant a few.
Hey, Charley...
Where's this fiancee of yours?
Or haven't you inflated her yet?
Hey, sailor. All hands on me.
Go ahead, doctor.
I know stuffed mushrooms
is your favorite.
Thanks, Laverne.
Wait a minute.
How did you know that?
'Cause they're my favorite, too.
Laverne, you are really
starting to annoy me.
Now, we have the same birthday.
That's it.
Anyone care for a smoked oyster?
No, thanks.
Yeah, they make us queasy.
They make you both queasy?
- No, they make her queasy.
I happen to love 'em.
I'm just full.
Delicious.
I hate you, Laverne.
Hi, hon. How was tampa?
- It was okay...
- Hey, everybody.
I want you to meet Patty Olsen,
the future Mrs. Charley dietz.
Patty, these are my parents.
- Hi!
Nice to meet you.
Could you excuse us a minute?
- I don't get it.
She seems so... normal.
41 years ago, so did you.
I missed you.
Gosh, I don't know what to say.
Silly, you say,
"I missed you more."
Charley, why do you have
to be such a sweet guy?
You know, you're the only person
who's ever called me sweet.
Hon, is something wrong?
No, no, no, no.
Well, maybe.
Um...
You see, Charley,
when I was back home,
I sort of ran into someone.
And you're afraid
that this little accident
might affect our car insurance?
Don't worry.
I don't have any.
No, no, no, Charley,
listen, you see...
Dwayne and I used to date
in high school.
Dwayne?
Yeah, and he's divorced now.
And well...
I think I still
have feelings for him.
But if you have feelings
for him,
then why are you marrying me?
Charley, come on. Come on out.
Charley?
I lost her, Harry.
The woman I love dumped me.
I'm sorry, Charles.
I've never been so humiliated.
Except for the time
our drier broke
and mom made me wear
culottes to school.
Charley, it's not your fault.
They only thing you did wrong,
maybe, was...
Love a little too much...
A little too fast.
Great. Patty told you
about that, too?
Charley, I hate to see you
in so much pain and...
And the only cure I know of
for a broken heart is time.
Come on, pal.
Come on.
Eventually, the hurt
is just gonna fade away.
Yeah, I guess.
I just wish my parents
would've been more supportive.
They didn't react at all.
They just kept eating.
- Well, your dad...
Looked up from his plate.
It's like they didn't care.
Or they weren't surprised.
They must think I'm a loser.
Charley, Charley, Charley,
come here, come here, listen,
the important thing is...
How you feel about yourself.
- I feel like a loser.
- Charlie.
I heard there was another man.
But you, Harry?
- Ma... mama...
Ma... mama,
it is real sweet of you to
call me on my birthday, but...
Do we have to have the
same conversation every year?
Yes, yes, I know
I was a difficult birth.
Yes, I know
I had a big ol' head.
Yes, I owe you a lot, mama.
I should be the one
sending you a gift.
Mama, thanks for thinkin'
of me, now.
Bye-bye.
Laverne, you've convinced me.
So, I got you a present
I know you'll like
because it's something
I would pick out for myself.
Doctor, you shouldn't of.
But I knew you would,
so I got you somethin' too.
Gee, what a surprise.
My, my.
It's so you.
Which must mean it's you, too.
- You made your point.
- Good.
I don't wanna hear another peep
about us being twins.
Now...
Here's your real present.
- You ol' softie.
- Yeah.
- Hi, daddy.
- Hey, sweetheart. How are you?
- You made blueberry scones.
- They're for Charley.
I thought he could use
a "we care" package.
Carol, I never thought I'd ever see
you have compassion for Charley.
- I know.
It's disgusting.
I used to love to watch
the imbecile suffer.
Motherhood's robbed me
of my edge.
Hi, Harry. You always get home
from work this late?
Well, the clinic was
so jammed, all...
Fred, what are you doing here?
I thought you headed back home
this morning.
I got one of those
bargain fares.
I have to stay over till Monday.
Hi, Harry, sorry to disturb
you, but I need your opinion.
What are you still doing here?
I'd ask you the same thing
if it wasn't so obvious,
Harry-lover.
Please.
All right, stop, now,
the two of you. Please.
Ursula how's...
How's Charley doing?
Well, it's difficult to say...
I was out shopping most the day.
Be honest, Harry.
Too revealing
for a woman my age?
- I... I... I don't know.
Listen.
Doesn't either one of you
care that your son
is going through a very
difficult time right now?
Geez, Harry,
I do feel bad for, Charley.
Harry's right, Fred.
We really should talk
to the boy.
I mean, how long could it take?
Well, it's not gonna be
easy for me.
I've never been
the touchy-feely type.
Or the touchy-wifey type.
Come in.
- Hi, Charles.
- Mom, dad.
Hi, son, how're you doin'?
Never better.
Look, Charley, I know
we should've said this sooner,
but your mom and I feel terrible
about what happened.
Yes, son.
That little pie-pusher
doesn't know what she lost.
You're far too good for her.
You're just sayin' that
because you're my parents.
- He's got us there.
- Yeah.
And I suppose
Harry sent you over here.
He's got us again.
Charley, it doesn't matter
who sent us.
We're here 'cause we want you
to feel better.
- Really?
- Of course.
So instead of moping around
about what you lost,
why don't you try focusing on
the good times you had
with the girl?
Fred, how atypically sage
of you.
That's what I do
when I'm... missing you.
Fred!
Dad, you still think about mom?
- We spent 41 years together.
We had a few good moments.
Gee, all I remember
is you guys fighting.
Yeah, but after each fight,
we usually made up.
Until our socks came off.
God, I've missed you.
- I missed you more.
- Did not.
- Did too.
- Do not.
Do too. Do too.
Mom. Dad.
Guys? When you're done,
can I have a hug?
Hey, Harry.
Charley. I haven't seen you
around for a while.
- Missed me?
- That's not important.
You feeling any better?
- Like a million bucks.
Yeah, my folks and I,
we had a great talk
and then they kicked me
out of the house.
It's like we're a family again.
I'm very happy for you.
You know what's even better?
They're getting remarried.
You're kidding.
They seem so...
Wrong for each other.
- How wrong could they be?
They made me.
Exactly what I'm talking about.
You know, it's funny, Harry.
If it hadn't been for Patty
dumping me,
my folks would've never
got back together.
Yeah, strange how things work?
So, you are feeling better,
You're... you're over Patty?
Hey, that's a thing of the past.
You know me, Harry.
I never look back.
- There you go.
- Daddy,
is my mincemeat pie ready yet?
Pie...
Mincemeat...
Patty.
All right, all right, all right.
- Hey, dad.
How's Niagara Falls?
Well, how's the honeymoon going?
Not so good?
Mom.
What's... what's wrong?
- It didn't work out.
Harry home?
Harry? Harry?
Harry, I'm...
for "leave quickly."
"Flee." very good.
Thank you, pal,
- morning, daddy.
- Morning, sweetheart.
- Scotty's sleeping?
- Yes. Blissfully so.
Nothing lulls
my suckling into slumber
like a sip
of his mother's sweet nectar.
Carol, do you have to be
so explicit?
A-ha. "Explicit."
There you go.
Sorry, daddy.
I'm just so enamored
with nursing.
You know, not only
do I bond with my child,
I burn over 500 calories a day.
Aerobics be damned.
I may breastfeed for life.
- Ha.
Hey, westons.
I got great news,
and here's a little hint:
Ding-dong. Ding-dong.
You made it with the avon lady.
No.
Those are wedding bells.
I'm getting married.
Okay, Charley.
What's the gag?
Somebody need a green card?
No.
I'm serious.
I finally met
the perfect someone
to spend the rest
of my life with.
I mean, besides you, Harry.
Charley, I didn't realize
you were this serious
about anyone.
- I'm sure I told you about her.
Patty Olsen?
Head waitress
down at the pie palace?
- Yeah.
- The one you tipped.
Harry, she's perfect.
She's different from every girl
I've ever gone out with.
She likes me.
That's probably Patty.
I left a note I'd be here.
Hi, hon. I missed you.
Missed you more.
- Did not.
- Did too.
Harry, Carol, this is my Patty.
Patty, this is my Harry
and his Carol.
And that's his dreyfuss.
Dreyf.
Dreyf. Dreyf.
Come on, settle.
It's not your fault.
I just came from work,
I probably reek of minced meat.
- Minced meat.
That just turns me on.
Well, Patty, Charley just
told us the good news, so...
Congratulations.
Congratulations?
- Right, hon...
- You wanna get hitched?
Charley.
I do! I do!
I do!
♪ I'm always here
♪ for anything you need
♪ rain or shine
♪ I'll be the one...
♪ ...we share it all
♪ as life goes on
Okay, Harry.
Now get one of me chewing
Patty's garter off.
Stop.
Charley, Charley, Charley,
can't you wait
until your honeymoon?
But that's a whole week.
You're getting married
in a week?
Isn't that
rather absurdly too soon?
Hey, the sooner
Patty and I tie the knot,
the sooner we can start making
little patties.
Yeah.
And little charleys.
Mon dieu.
- Thanks.
I'm pretty excited too.
Gosh, I bet when I tell
the gals at the pie palace
they're just gonna
go totally a la mode.
Course, Harry,
I want you to be my best man.
Really? Well, that's...
That's very nice of you.
I...
- I would... I'd be honored.
- Great. Great.
Now I went ahead and I booked
the artunian triplets
for the bachelor party.
Course you're gonna have
to rent a trapeze
for Malika and kiki.
Charley, kitchen, now.
I'll miss you.
Miss you more.
- Will not...
- That's enough!
Just get in there!
Patty, I know we've only
just met, but...
I'm fairly certain
I know Charley
a little better than you do.
You see, I've been his neighbor
for seven long years...
And you're kickin' yourself
for lettin' him get away, right?
Right. Well...
You're gonna be needing
that wacky sense of humor
if you plan on going through
with this.
Ab... no... absolutely not.
But what do you mean
no bachelor party?
Then why get married?
Look, Charley, you know,
I can ask Carol if she could...
Put together a quiet little
engagement party.
The kinda thing
you can invite your parents to.
Sounds great.
But mom and dad haven't been
getting along lately.
It's almost as if... they don't
like each other anymore.
Charley, they got divorced.
- Yeah.
That just made it worse.
Hey, I wonder
who got custody of me.
I did!
Dr. Douglas,
I got your mail here.
- Good.
- I hope he's rich, single,
and answers
to the name of "Shaquille."
Would you settle
for a letter from home?
Well, looks like a birthday
card from my aunt mirna.
It's your birthday?
I wish I would've known.
It's not till next week.
Next week? What day? When?
If I tell you, promise me
you'll keep it to yourself.
Last thing I wanna hear is
a bunch of tone-deaf people
singin' that lame old song,
remindin' me I'm another year
closer to death.
That old?
I won't tell a soul.
When is it?
The 15th.
And I definitely
don't wanna hear that.
Doctor, my birthday's
the 15th too.
How 'bout that?
This explains why you and me
are so much alike.
Why, we're practically twins.
Yeah.
Patients often tell me,
"you know,
you bear an uncanny resemblance
to that skinny white nurse."
Come on, Scotty.
Come on, let's have
a great big burp for grandpa.
Just pretend you're Charley.
How 'bout that?
Come on.
Um, come in, please.
Hey, Harry.
You remember my mom,
Ursula dietz.
Hello, you handsome dog, you.
- How could I forget her?
- Hi, there.
Hello, Ursula.
- Harry.
- What a lovely child.
Nice to know you still
pack a wallop.
No, no,
this is my daughter's child.
Really?
Do you mind
if I hold the cutie pie...
Cutie pie?
Well, yes, I suppose, sure here.
Knock it off.
- Daddy, thank god.
I thought you dropped f. Scott.
Carol,
I have never dropped Scotty.
He wriggled free once
during his bath.
Men.
Charley's father
used to drop him so often,
it stopped being funny.
That explains so much.
- Please, please, sit down.
- Thank you.
So Charley, has you mom
met Patty yet?
No, the pattster's
still in tampa.
She wanted to give her folks
the good news in person.
Gee, mom,
I'm so glad you're here
to share
the happiest day in my life.
Of course you are.
Now, Harry...
Are you, seeing anyone?
Yes, yes, several people.
Boy, dance card is full.
- Hi, Harry. Remember me?
Fred dietz. My boy over here?
- Yeah, sure, Fred.
Come on in.
- Dad!
- Hey.
I didn't think
you were gonna make it!
- He-hey. Are you kidding?
Miss the bachelor party?
Actually,
there's not gonna be one.
- No bachelor party?
Why get married?
Maybe Charles is in love, Fred.
Aw, is she here?
- Yes, she's here.
He's her son, too.
And for your information,
Harry has generously offered
to throw the kids
a huge engagement bash.
- Thanks, Harry.
I'd offer to chip in,
but things
have been a little tight
since my divorce from
"the great emasculator."
- Well, no, I understand.
- Listen, Ursula...
I hate to bring this up, but
about this month's alimony...
- You'll get it.
The check is in the mail.
Now get off my back.
Hey, blockhead, the meatballs
are a lot less crunchy
when you take out
the toothpicks.
Carol, what's this?
- Angel hair.
Well, tell angel
to put on a hairnet.
Charley, Charley, when I said
you could invite a few people,
I meant a few.
Hey, Charley...
Where's this fiancee of yours?
Or haven't you inflated her yet?
Hey, sailor. All hands on me.
Go ahead, doctor.
I know stuffed mushrooms
is your favorite.
Thanks, Laverne.
Wait a minute.
How did you know that?
'Cause they're my favorite, too.
Laverne, you are really
starting to annoy me.
Now, we have the same birthday.
That's it.
Anyone care for a smoked oyster?
No, thanks.
Yeah, they make us queasy.
They make you both queasy?
- No, they make her queasy.
I happen to love 'em.
I'm just full.
Delicious.
I hate you, Laverne.
Hi, hon. How was tampa?
- It was okay...
- Hey, everybody.
I want you to meet Patty Olsen,
the future Mrs. Charley dietz.
Patty, these are my parents.
- Hi!
Nice to meet you.
Could you excuse us a minute?
- I don't get it.
She seems so... normal.
41 years ago, so did you.
I missed you.
Gosh, I don't know what to say.
Silly, you say,
"I missed you more."
Charley, why do you have
to be such a sweet guy?
You know, you're the only person
who's ever called me sweet.
Hon, is something wrong?
No, no, no, no.
Well, maybe.
Um...
You see, Charley,
when I was back home,
I sort of ran into someone.
And you're afraid
that this little accident
might affect our car insurance?
Don't worry.
I don't have any.
No, no, no, Charley,
listen, you see...
Dwayne and I used to date
in high school.
Dwayne?
Yeah, and he's divorced now.
And well...
I think I still
have feelings for him.
But if you have feelings
for him,
then why are you marrying me?
Charley, come on. Come on out.
Charley?
I lost her, Harry.
The woman I love dumped me.
I'm sorry, Charles.
I've never been so humiliated.
Except for the time
our drier broke
and mom made me wear
culottes to school.
Charley, it's not your fault.
They only thing you did wrong,
maybe, was...
Love a little too much...
A little too fast.
Great. Patty told you
about that, too?
Charley, I hate to see you
in so much pain and...
And the only cure I know of
for a broken heart is time.
Come on, pal.
Come on.
Eventually, the hurt
is just gonna fade away.
Yeah, I guess.
I just wish my parents
would've been more supportive.
They didn't react at all.
They just kept eating.
- Well, your dad...
Looked up from his plate.
It's like they didn't care.
Or they weren't surprised.
They must think I'm a loser.
Charley, Charley, Charley,
come here, come here, listen,
the important thing is...
How you feel about yourself.
- I feel like a loser.
- Charlie.
I heard there was another man.
But you, Harry?
- Ma... mama...
Ma... mama,
it is real sweet of you to
call me on my birthday, but...
Do we have to have the
same conversation every year?
Yes, yes, I know
I was a difficult birth.
Yes, I know
I had a big ol' head.
Yes, I owe you a lot, mama.
I should be the one
sending you a gift.
Mama, thanks for thinkin'
of me, now.
Bye-bye.
Laverne, you've convinced me.
So, I got you a present
I know you'll like
because it's something
I would pick out for myself.
Doctor, you shouldn't of.
But I knew you would,
so I got you somethin' too.
Gee, what a surprise.
My, my.
It's so you.
Which must mean it's you, too.
- You made your point.
- Good.
I don't wanna hear another peep
about us being twins.
Now...
Here's your real present.
- You ol' softie.
- Yeah.
- Hi, daddy.
- Hey, sweetheart. How are you?
- You made blueberry scones.
- They're for Charley.
I thought he could use
a "we care" package.
Carol, I never thought I'd ever see
you have compassion for Charley.
- I know.
It's disgusting.
I used to love to watch
the imbecile suffer.
Motherhood's robbed me
of my edge.
Hi, Harry. You always get home
from work this late?
Well, the clinic was
so jammed, all...
Fred, what are you doing here?
I thought you headed back home
this morning.
I got one of those
bargain fares.
I have to stay over till Monday.
Hi, Harry, sorry to disturb
you, but I need your opinion.
What are you still doing here?
I'd ask you the same thing
if it wasn't so obvious,
Harry-lover.
Please.
All right, stop, now,
the two of you. Please.
Ursula how's...
How's Charley doing?
Well, it's difficult to say...
I was out shopping most the day.
Be honest, Harry.
Too revealing
for a woman my age?
- I... I... I don't know.
Listen.
Doesn't either one of you
care that your son
is going through a very
difficult time right now?
Geez, Harry,
I do feel bad for, Charley.
Harry's right, Fred.
We really should talk
to the boy.
I mean, how long could it take?
Well, it's not gonna be
easy for me.
I've never been
the touchy-feely type.
Or the touchy-wifey type.
Come in.
- Hi, Charles.
- Mom, dad.
Hi, son, how're you doin'?
Never better.
Look, Charley, I know
we should've said this sooner,
but your mom and I feel terrible
about what happened.
Yes, son.
That little pie-pusher
doesn't know what she lost.
You're far too good for her.
You're just sayin' that
because you're my parents.
- He's got us there.
- Yeah.
And I suppose
Harry sent you over here.
He's got us again.
Charley, it doesn't matter
who sent us.
We're here 'cause we want you
to feel better.
- Really?
- Of course.
So instead of moping around
about what you lost,
why don't you try focusing on
the good times you had
with the girl?
Fred, how atypically sage
of you.
That's what I do
when I'm... missing you.
Fred!
Dad, you still think about mom?
- We spent 41 years together.
We had a few good moments.
Gee, all I remember
is you guys fighting.
Yeah, but after each fight,
we usually made up.
Until our socks came off.
God, I've missed you.
- I missed you more.
- Did not.
- Did too.
- Do not.
Do too. Do too.
Mom. Dad.
Guys? When you're done,
can I have a hug?
Hey, Harry.
Charley. I haven't seen you
around for a while.
- Missed me?
- That's not important.
You feeling any better?
- Like a million bucks.
Yeah, my folks and I,
we had a great talk
and then they kicked me
out of the house.
It's like we're a family again.
I'm very happy for you.
You know what's even better?
They're getting remarried.
You're kidding.
They seem so...
Wrong for each other.
- How wrong could they be?
They made me.
Exactly what I'm talking about.
You know, it's funny, Harry.
If it hadn't been for Patty
dumping me,
my folks would've never
got back together.
Yeah, strange how things work?
So, you are feeling better,
You're... you're over Patty?
Hey, that's a thing of the past.
You know me, Harry.
I never look back.
- There you go.
- Daddy,
is my mincemeat pie ready yet?
Pie...
Mincemeat...
Patty.
All right, all right, all right.
- Hey, dad.
How's Niagara Falls?
Well, how's the honeymoon going?
Not so good?
Mom.
What's... what's wrong?
- It didn't work out.
Harry home?
Harry? Harry?
Harry, I'm...