Empty Nest (1988–1995): Season 1, Episode 4 - Fatal Attraction - full transcript
When neighbor Blanche Devereaux visits the Westons, she causes a problem when she has an attraction for Harry.
Now, here.
A cookie.
Good boy.
There's my Dreyfuss.
My Dreyfuss.
Are you guarding the house?
I pity the poor intruder
who tries to get in here.
What a day, Dreyf.
I just want to collapse in bed.
My.
Ho ho.
I am shot.
Absolutely shot.
I am so glad to be home.
Hello, Harry.
Blanche, you almost
gave me a heart attack.
What are you doing here?
How did you get in?
I used the key you gave us
for emergencies.
This is not an emergency.
Yes, it is, Harry.
I've been going crazy,
Harry, crazy.
I just think about you
all the time.
I can't eat, I can't sleep.
I want you, Harry.
I want you desperately.
What am I, a rock star?
And you know you want me, Harry.
I know you do.
Now, don't deny it.
I can tell. I'm an expert.
I know men.
You want me, Harry.
You do.
And I'm yours.
Blanche, we've only had
a couple of dates.
What, not even dates.
You brought food over.
It doesn't matter.
I've never felt anything like
this before in all my life.
I am on fire.
My loins burn.
I ache. I'm in pain.
It could be a bladder infection.
Harry.
Now, Blanche, Blanche, listen.
I-I am very flattered,
but I can't.
I mean, I just can't.
Why? What is it?
Don't you like me?
Don't you find me attractive?
No, no, no, no, no, no, dear.
That's not it, no.
I do, I do like you, and I do
find you very attractive.
It's just that,
I mean, I haven't
since Libby died, you know?
But Libby's been dead
for several months.
18.
18 months?
Get out of here.
You have waited for 18 months?
Hey, well, how long
did you wait after George died?
Well, not quite 18 months.
Not quite 18 weeks, actually.
It was almost 18 days.
18 days?
The minister.
It's a long story.
But Harry,
you waiting all this time
just makes me want you more.
Harry, I can't live without you.
Harry?
Phone, phone, phone,
phone, phone, phone, phone.
Dr. Weston.
Hi, Charlotte.
Dear, I'm sorry.
When?
Yes, dear. Yeah.
Yeah. Look.
Why don't I come over?
No, no, no, dear, it's fine.
No, I'll... I'll be right there.
Charlotte?
You're gonna leave me
for someone named Charlotte?
Her husband,
one of my oldest friends,
just died a few minutes ago.
Sweet Jesus, she works
even faster than I do.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
No, I'm going over there
to just try to console her.
Well, I am sorry, Harry.
Well, no, no, I mean,
we... we knew he was dying.
He'd been sick
for a very long time,
and yet he fought real hard.
Well, is there
anything I can do?
No, no, no, no, no.
Nothing at all.
Thank you very much.
Good night, Blanche.
I wonder if I came on
too strong.
What are you doing here?
I let myself in.
Daddy, do you want some lunch?
No, I don't think so, honey.
I wouldn't mind a bite.
Why so glum, guys?
Somebody die?
Yes.
That's a drag.
Who?
An old friend, Otto Bacon.
Bacon.
What a name. I hope
it died with him.
So, did they serve food
at the funeral
or are we gonna eat here?
They had a salad bar
and a place
to make your own sundaes.
No kidding.
Charley, haven't you
ever been to a funeral?
Yeah.
And did you see waiters?
Silverware?
Well, the only funeral
I ever went to was my father's,
and it was episcopalian,
and you know them.
They never have food anywhere.
Just tweeds and cocker spaniel.
Anyway, it was so depressing.
I left early and I never
went to another one.
Charley, people
are sad at funerals.
I guess.
Well, Otto's funeral
was very nice.
Exactly the kind I want.
I can't stand this.
I can't stand dying.
I cannot stand death.
Here you go.
I brought you food.
I know about grieving.
I lost my husband
and my French poodle.
Grieving makes you hungry.
Here you have
southern fried chicken,
sweet potato pudding,
and key lime pie.
The faster you mourn,
the faster it'll be over.
See you tonight.
Well, she's poisoning you.
What are you talking about?
That food is full of fat,
cholesterol, and sugar.
Daddy, you can't eat
like this anymore.
It'll kill you.
Are you dating her?
She thinks so.
She just keeps on
coming over with food.
I don't know.
Last night, I came home
and I found her in my bedroom.
With who?
Alone, waiting for me.
What did you do?
Well fortunately the phone rang,
and Otto had died.
Well, not fortunately.
Not that Otto, died,
just that the timing was good.
We get those cases.
People get obsessed
with someone.
It can get pretty weird.
We read about it all the time.
"Rejected woman
cuts up boyfriend
and leaves body
in three states."
That's why I never let a girl
know where I live.
They can't find me,
they can't trace me.
Are you kidding?
Well, you saw that movie,
fatal attraction?
I don't need some crazed broad
leaving dead rabbits
in my kitchen
and trying to kill me.
After I saw that movie,
I even stopped using
my real name.
Sometimes I speak
with a foreign accent.
Well, good-bye, my friends.
See you around.
You're late.
Room one, sore throat
and green stuff.
Room two, sprained ankle.
Room three, earache.
Room four, a complete lunatic.
I suggest you check
that one first.
She claims she's your intended,
God. Blanche.
You know, it's crazy
to promise to marry 'em.
These days,
they'll drop their bloomers
for a plate of pasta
or a glass of the house red.
Hello, Harry.
Hi. Hi, Blanche.
Hi.
- Doctor, I'm sick.
- Blanche.
Sick to death in love.
Blanche, I have patients to see.
But I am a patient, Harry.
I have something right here
I'd like you to take a look at.
No.
Now, now, listen.
I-i-I'm a... I'm a pediatrician.
I only see children.
I've had this
since I was a child.
Blanche. Please, dear.
Now, look. Be reasonable.
It's destiny, Harry.
It is.
True destiny.
The fact is, it's quite simple.
I will not have a life
without you.
And you will not
have a life without me.
Blanche, listen to me now.
Please, listen to me.
What you're going through
right now,
it's not unusual.
It's what we call an obsession.
It will pass.
You see,
you don't really love me.
You just think you love me.
- Ha ha!
- Ha ha!
Blanche, I'm not a good catch.
I'm not.
I work constantly.
You would never see me.
I never see me.
Sometimes I look in the mirror,
I think I have company.
It doesn't matter.
Whenever I'd see you,
it would be enough.
- And after we're married, i...
- Blanche!
You... you would hate that
because I have
some very disgusting
personal habits.
- I snore.
- That's adorable.
A wet snore.
I sound like a person
drowning in gravy.
Excuse me, but I think we have
a fulminating Anthrax
lepatitis familius in room one.
No!
I'm afraid so.
Are you sure?
- Is it bad?
- It's terrible.
Blanche, you have to go.
Please, dear, I'm sorry, but...
- Of course.
- No, this is a life.
You're gonna save a life?
God, I love you.
Anthrax leptococcus?
Lepatitis, doctor.
Nice ring to it?
It fooled me.
I mean, I-I got worried
that I missed
that day in med school.
Laverne, i-i-i-i don't know
what to do with Blanche.
She's obsessed with me.
I don't know what to do.
Reminds me of a problem
we had back home
with Maybelle and Elk.
Maybelle and Elk?
Why is it that you people
name everybody
as if they were animals?
They were animals.
Maybelle was a cow,
Elk was an elk.
Maybelle belonged
to Abner Caldwell.
Claimed he's related to
Erskine Caldwell, the writer?
Something I personally
would never claim,
even if it was true.
But I do know he's definitely
related to Chick Caldwell,
the chicken farmer.
Anyway, this here Elk,
he fell in love with Maybelle,
and Maybelle couldn't
have cared less.
She wouldn't even look at him.
He tried everything.
He broke down the fence.
He knocked over trees.
He broke into the barn,
trying to get to Maybelle.
He wouldn't sleep.
He wouldn't eat.
It was dreadful.
Sounds like Blanche,
except for the tree part.
Maybe you should do to Blanche
what they did to Elk.
What?
Shoot her
with a tranquilizer gun
and move her to Yellowstone.
Carol, what are you doing here?
I am making you
a healthy breakfast.
Oat bran muffins...
No sugar, no butter...
And an omelet
using eggwhites only.
I want your cholesterol
under 160.
Carol, this is getting crazy.
Last night, I found this
on my pillow.
"George Lazar, 52, suddenly.
Husband of Harriet,
father of Amy."
And then,
on the bathroom mirror,
"Buddy Webster, 56,
peacefully, in his sleep."
Carol,
I don't know these people.
They're dead.
I figured.
And they were all
around your age.
And that is just one day
and one newspaper.
Carol, millions of people
die every day.
I know this.
I'm a doctor.
So, what's the point?
The point is, you don't know.
If you really knew you'd die,
you would do something about it.
Carol, we're all going to die.
I'm going to di...
- Don't say that.
Never say that.
If you say it,
you can make it happen.
Spit on the floor.
- What?
- Spit!
If you talk about death,
you have to spit
so that it doesn't get you.
I see.
Only don't you think maybe
we should call a hospital
about this spitting thing?
We could save a lot
of people with this.
I can not take another death,
especially yours.
Now, I'm going upstairs
to your closet
and remove all the plastic
dry cleaner bags
because you could
suffocate in them.
Carol, you do that for babies.
Please, you could be
in your closet,
picking out something to wear,
have a stroke, and as you fall,
you grab for a plastic bag,
which lands on your face
and you suffocate in it
before help comes.
And I've decided to move in
while I get you
good and healthy.
Don't talk with food
in your mouth.
You can inhale a crumb
ad choke to death.
Hey, where the hell
is Kim Basinger?
You said Kim Basinger
on The Today Show,
and that's not Kim Basinger.
That's Kissinger.
And I woke up early, damn it.
I'd never wake up for Kissinger.
- Hey, Harry.
- Hi, Charley.
What are you doing here?
I just had to get out
of the house.
I've got two women
driving me nuts.
One's obsessed with my body,
the other one's
obsessed with my death.
Who?
Blanche and Carol.
Which one's obsessed
with your body?
Think a minute.
Right.
I had to come over here
just to get away.
Well, can I fix you something?
A little breakfast?
Well, thank you.
That... that would be great.
I mean, I don't know...
I don't know what to do.
The two of them
won't leave me alone,
and Carol just announced
she's moving in for a while.
And Blanche, Blanche is
totally obsessed with me.
She's over at the house
all the time.
I don't know what to do.
Are you asking me for advice?
Well, yeah.
You know, people never
ask me for advice.
They think I'm stupid and insensitive,
especially broads.
Okay, this is my advice.
Tell them to get
the hell out of there.
Just like that?
Or move.
Charley, this is all
miniature food.
It's from the ship.
Look.
Little cheese and crackers.
Little nuts.
Little vodka.
Little orange marmalade.
And a little plastic
fork and knife.
It's great?
Who visits you,
the seven dwarfs?
It's terrific if you live alone.
I have little lotions,
little soaps,
little shampoos.
Handi-wipe?
Hi, daddy.
Carol, sit down.
I'm just making a shopping list.
Sit!
Now, listen to me
and do not interrupt.
It is a fact of life, honey.
We die, and there's nothing
we can do about that.
You can move in,
but you can't save me.
You can watch me
morning, noon, and night,
and still one day,
while you're staring at me,
something will burst in my brain
or my heart or my lungs,
and nothing you do can stop it.
It's just the way it is,
and your vigil won't help.
It will only stop your life.
It will not lengthen mine.
It's just so hard.
I know, but until you accept it,
until you know you die,
you will never live.
I hate it.
Well, what can we do?
We live, we die.
Know it, and then
use your time well.
It certainly makes
working on my thighs idiotic.
There you go.
Now, get your stuff.
You are not moving in.
My bags are in the car.
I hadn't even
brought them in yet.
Thank you.
I hope it's this easy
with Blanche.
What?
I have to tell her I don't
want to see her anymore.
She's just obsessed with me.
Daddy, you are a single,
attractive doctor.
Blanche is not getting
any younger,
and she's getting desperate.
I know the feeling.
She sees you as her last chance.
You really think so?
Absolutely.
So what do I do?
Tell her.
Tell her it's not love,
it's desperation.
Tell her?
Or marry her.
'Night, daddy.
Leaving?
Yes.
Caviar.
Full of cholesterol.
You might as well put
krazy glue in your aorta.
Enjoy.
Blanche, sit down.
Sit!
Blanche, this is not love.
I know.
It is beyond love.
There are no words for it.
No, dear, no,
there are words for it.
It is over.
It is finished.
I am breaking up with you.
No, you're not, Harry.
You're just a little overwhelmed
by the strength of
our feelings, that's all.
The feelings are not of love.
They are strong, these feelings,
but they are not love.
Then what are they?
- Desperation.
- Desperation?
Desperation. Blanche,
look, at our age...
Our ag... I beg your pardon?
I was not even a twinkle
in my father's eye
when you were in high school.
- That's true.
I... that's true.
What... what...
What I meant to say was,
at our general age,
anywhere from 40 to 60,
we... we figure we have to
find someone quick
because we're running out
of time.
Now, I can understand that
for me, that desperation,
but you, Blanche,
you're so... Young.
You don't need to be desperate.
I mean, you've got
the world at your feet.
I see the way men look at you.
I don't think I can take it.
Well, what can I do
about it, Harry?
Nothing. Nothing at all.
Blanche, face it.
You are a spectacular
example of woman.
I know.
And I'm afraid that, you know,
you're just too much woman
for me.
And plus, there is
the age difference.
Yeah, well, I see what you mean.
You are a lot of woman, Blanche.
I know I don't have to worry
the way my roommates do.
No, not at all.
I mean,
that's a whole other league.
Yeah, I know it is sad.
Well, I try to play myself down,
dress quietly,
go unnoticed, but still, i...
It doesn't work.
No, you stand out.
You shine like a beacon.
It's a curse.
It always has been.
Harry.
No, you don't have to
settle for me, Blanche.
You really don't.
So what you're saying is,
I'm too much woman for you?
Yeah, it just can't work.
And you wouldn't be
devastated by the loss?
Well, it would hurt.
But you'd understand?
Of course I'd understand.
I'd have to.
I mean, I see
what's in front of me.
I see a beautiful young woman.
Harry, you are so wonderful.
And I'm just so sorry to be
hurting you like this.
But you'll get over me.
Not entirely, but you'll be able
to have a life someday.
I hope so.
You have taken this so well.
I will never forget you.
Goodbye, Harry.
Sure.
Dreyfuss, we are alone at last.
Let's go eat something
bad for us.
A cookie.
Good boy.
There's my Dreyfuss.
My Dreyfuss.
Are you guarding the house?
I pity the poor intruder
who tries to get in here.
What a day, Dreyf.
I just want to collapse in bed.
My.
Ho ho.
I am shot.
Absolutely shot.
I am so glad to be home.
Hello, Harry.
Blanche, you almost
gave me a heart attack.
What are you doing here?
How did you get in?
I used the key you gave us
for emergencies.
This is not an emergency.
Yes, it is, Harry.
I've been going crazy,
Harry, crazy.
I just think about you
all the time.
I can't eat, I can't sleep.
I want you, Harry.
I want you desperately.
What am I, a rock star?
And you know you want me, Harry.
I know you do.
Now, don't deny it.
I can tell. I'm an expert.
I know men.
You want me, Harry.
You do.
And I'm yours.
Blanche, we've only had
a couple of dates.
What, not even dates.
You brought food over.
It doesn't matter.
I've never felt anything like
this before in all my life.
I am on fire.
My loins burn.
I ache. I'm in pain.
It could be a bladder infection.
Harry.
Now, Blanche, Blanche, listen.
I-I am very flattered,
but I can't.
I mean, I just can't.
Why? What is it?
Don't you like me?
Don't you find me attractive?
No, no, no, no, no, no, dear.
That's not it, no.
I do, I do like you, and I do
find you very attractive.
It's just that,
I mean, I haven't
since Libby died, you know?
But Libby's been dead
for several months.
18.
18 months?
Get out of here.
You have waited for 18 months?
Hey, well, how long
did you wait after George died?
Well, not quite 18 months.
Not quite 18 weeks, actually.
It was almost 18 days.
18 days?
The minister.
It's a long story.
But Harry,
you waiting all this time
just makes me want you more.
Harry, I can't live without you.
Harry?
Phone, phone, phone,
phone, phone, phone, phone.
Dr. Weston.
Hi, Charlotte.
Dear, I'm sorry.
When?
Yes, dear. Yeah.
Yeah. Look.
Why don't I come over?
No, no, no, dear, it's fine.
No, I'll... I'll be right there.
Charlotte?
You're gonna leave me
for someone named Charlotte?
Her husband,
one of my oldest friends,
just died a few minutes ago.
Sweet Jesus, she works
even faster than I do.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
No, I'm going over there
to just try to console her.
Well, I am sorry, Harry.
Well, no, no, I mean,
we... we knew he was dying.
He'd been sick
for a very long time,
and yet he fought real hard.
Well, is there
anything I can do?
No, no, no, no, no.
Nothing at all.
Thank you very much.
Good night, Blanche.
I wonder if I came on
too strong.
What are you doing here?
I let myself in.
Daddy, do you want some lunch?
No, I don't think so, honey.
I wouldn't mind a bite.
Why so glum, guys?
Somebody die?
Yes.
That's a drag.
Who?
An old friend, Otto Bacon.
Bacon.
What a name. I hope
it died with him.
So, did they serve food
at the funeral
or are we gonna eat here?
They had a salad bar
and a place
to make your own sundaes.
No kidding.
Charley, haven't you
ever been to a funeral?
Yeah.
And did you see waiters?
Silverware?
Well, the only funeral
I ever went to was my father's,
and it was episcopalian,
and you know them.
They never have food anywhere.
Just tweeds and cocker spaniel.
Anyway, it was so depressing.
I left early and I never
went to another one.
Charley, people
are sad at funerals.
I guess.
Well, Otto's funeral
was very nice.
Exactly the kind I want.
I can't stand this.
I can't stand dying.
I cannot stand death.
Here you go.
I brought you food.
I know about grieving.
I lost my husband
and my French poodle.
Grieving makes you hungry.
Here you have
southern fried chicken,
sweet potato pudding,
and key lime pie.
The faster you mourn,
the faster it'll be over.
See you tonight.
Well, she's poisoning you.
What are you talking about?
That food is full of fat,
cholesterol, and sugar.
Daddy, you can't eat
like this anymore.
It'll kill you.
Are you dating her?
She thinks so.
She just keeps on
coming over with food.
I don't know.
Last night, I came home
and I found her in my bedroom.
With who?
Alone, waiting for me.
What did you do?
Well fortunately the phone rang,
and Otto had died.
Well, not fortunately.
Not that Otto, died,
just that the timing was good.
We get those cases.
People get obsessed
with someone.
It can get pretty weird.
We read about it all the time.
"Rejected woman
cuts up boyfriend
and leaves body
in three states."
That's why I never let a girl
know where I live.
They can't find me,
they can't trace me.
Are you kidding?
Well, you saw that movie,
fatal attraction?
I don't need some crazed broad
leaving dead rabbits
in my kitchen
and trying to kill me.
After I saw that movie,
I even stopped using
my real name.
Sometimes I speak
with a foreign accent.
Well, good-bye, my friends.
See you around.
You're late.
Room one, sore throat
and green stuff.
Room two, sprained ankle.
Room three, earache.
Room four, a complete lunatic.
I suggest you check
that one first.
She claims she's your intended,
God. Blanche.
You know, it's crazy
to promise to marry 'em.
These days,
they'll drop their bloomers
for a plate of pasta
or a glass of the house red.
Hello, Harry.
Hi. Hi, Blanche.
Hi.
- Doctor, I'm sick.
- Blanche.
Sick to death in love.
Blanche, I have patients to see.
But I am a patient, Harry.
I have something right here
I'd like you to take a look at.
No.
Now, now, listen.
I-i-I'm a... I'm a pediatrician.
I only see children.
I've had this
since I was a child.
Blanche. Please, dear.
Now, look. Be reasonable.
It's destiny, Harry.
It is.
True destiny.
The fact is, it's quite simple.
I will not have a life
without you.
And you will not
have a life without me.
Blanche, listen to me now.
Please, listen to me.
What you're going through
right now,
it's not unusual.
It's what we call an obsession.
It will pass.
You see,
you don't really love me.
You just think you love me.
- Ha ha!
- Ha ha!
Blanche, I'm not a good catch.
I'm not.
I work constantly.
You would never see me.
I never see me.
Sometimes I look in the mirror,
I think I have company.
It doesn't matter.
Whenever I'd see you,
it would be enough.
- And after we're married, i...
- Blanche!
You... you would hate that
because I have
some very disgusting
personal habits.
- I snore.
- That's adorable.
A wet snore.
I sound like a person
drowning in gravy.
Excuse me, but I think we have
a fulminating Anthrax
lepatitis familius in room one.
No!
I'm afraid so.
Are you sure?
- Is it bad?
- It's terrible.
Blanche, you have to go.
Please, dear, I'm sorry, but...
- Of course.
- No, this is a life.
You're gonna save a life?
God, I love you.
Anthrax leptococcus?
Lepatitis, doctor.
Nice ring to it?
It fooled me.
I mean, I-I got worried
that I missed
that day in med school.
Laverne, i-i-i-i don't know
what to do with Blanche.
She's obsessed with me.
I don't know what to do.
Reminds me of a problem
we had back home
with Maybelle and Elk.
Maybelle and Elk?
Why is it that you people
name everybody
as if they were animals?
They were animals.
Maybelle was a cow,
Elk was an elk.
Maybelle belonged
to Abner Caldwell.
Claimed he's related to
Erskine Caldwell, the writer?
Something I personally
would never claim,
even if it was true.
But I do know he's definitely
related to Chick Caldwell,
the chicken farmer.
Anyway, this here Elk,
he fell in love with Maybelle,
and Maybelle couldn't
have cared less.
She wouldn't even look at him.
He tried everything.
He broke down the fence.
He knocked over trees.
He broke into the barn,
trying to get to Maybelle.
He wouldn't sleep.
He wouldn't eat.
It was dreadful.
Sounds like Blanche,
except for the tree part.
Maybe you should do to Blanche
what they did to Elk.
What?
Shoot her
with a tranquilizer gun
and move her to Yellowstone.
Carol, what are you doing here?
I am making you
a healthy breakfast.
Oat bran muffins...
No sugar, no butter...
And an omelet
using eggwhites only.
I want your cholesterol
under 160.
Carol, this is getting crazy.
Last night, I found this
on my pillow.
"George Lazar, 52, suddenly.
Husband of Harriet,
father of Amy."
And then,
on the bathroom mirror,
"Buddy Webster, 56,
peacefully, in his sleep."
Carol,
I don't know these people.
They're dead.
I figured.
And they were all
around your age.
And that is just one day
and one newspaper.
Carol, millions of people
die every day.
I know this.
I'm a doctor.
So, what's the point?
The point is, you don't know.
If you really knew you'd die,
you would do something about it.
Carol, we're all going to die.
I'm going to di...
- Don't say that.
Never say that.
If you say it,
you can make it happen.
Spit on the floor.
- What?
- Spit!
If you talk about death,
you have to spit
so that it doesn't get you.
I see.
Only don't you think maybe
we should call a hospital
about this spitting thing?
We could save a lot
of people with this.
I can not take another death,
especially yours.
Now, I'm going upstairs
to your closet
and remove all the plastic
dry cleaner bags
because you could
suffocate in them.
Carol, you do that for babies.
Please, you could be
in your closet,
picking out something to wear,
have a stroke, and as you fall,
you grab for a plastic bag,
which lands on your face
and you suffocate in it
before help comes.
And I've decided to move in
while I get you
good and healthy.
Don't talk with food
in your mouth.
You can inhale a crumb
ad choke to death.
Hey, where the hell
is Kim Basinger?
You said Kim Basinger
on The Today Show,
and that's not Kim Basinger.
That's Kissinger.
And I woke up early, damn it.
I'd never wake up for Kissinger.
- Hey, Harry.
- Hi, Charley.
What are you doing here?
I just had to get out
of the house.
I've got two women
driving me nuts.
One's obsessed with my body,
the other one's
obsessed with my death.
Who?
Blanche and Carol.
Which one's obsessed
with your body?
Think a minute.
Right.
I had to come over here
just to get away.
Well, can I fix you something?
A little breakfast?
Well, thank you.
That... that would be great.
I mean, I don't know...
I don't know what to do.
The two of them
won't leave me alone,
and Carol just announced
she's moving in for a while.
And Blanche, Blanche is
totally obsessed with me.
She's over at the house
all the time.
I don't know what to do.
Are you asking me for advice?
Well, yeah.
You know, people never
ask me for advice.
They think I'm stupid and insensitive,
especially broads.
Okay, this is my advice.
Tell them to get
the hell out of there.
Just like that?
Or move.
Charley, this is all
miniature food.
It's from the ship.
Look.
Little cheese and crackers.
Little nuts.
Little vodka.
Little orange marmalade.
And a little plastic
fork and knife.
It's great?
Who visits you,
the seven dwarfs?
It's terrific if you live alone.
I have little lotions,
little soaps,
little shampoos.
Handi-wipe?
Hi, daddy.
Carol, sit down.
I'm just making a shopping list.
Sit!
Now, listen to me
and do not interrupt.
It is a fact of life, honey.
We die, and there's nothing
we can do about that.
You can move in,
but you can't save me.
You can watch me
morning, noon, and night,
and still one day,
while you're staring at me,
something will burst in my brain
or my heart or my lungs,
and nothing you do can stop it.
It's just the way it is,
and your vigil won't help.
It will only stop your life.
It will not lengthen mine.
It's just so hard.
I know, but until you accept it,
until you know you die,
you will never live.
I hate it.
Well, what can we do?
We live, we die.
Know it, and then
use your time well.
It certainly makes
working on my thighs idiotic.
There you go.
Now, get your stuff.
You are not moving in.
My bags are in the car.
I hadn't even
brought them in yet.
Thank you.
I hope it's this easy
with Blanche.
What?
I have to tell her I don't
want to see her anymore.
She's just obsessed with me.
Daddy, you are a single,
attractive doctor.
Blanche is not getting
any younger,
and she's getting desperate.
I know the feeling.
She sees you as her last chance.
You really think so?
Absolutely.
So what do I do?
Tell her.
Tell her it's not love,
it's desperation.
Tell her?
Or marry her.
'Night, daddy.
Leaving?
Yes.
Caviar.
Full of cholesterol.
You might as well put
krazy glue in your aorta.
Enjoy.
Blanche, sit down.
Sit!
Blanche, this is not love.
I know.
It is beyond love.
There are no words for it.
No, dear, no,
there are words for it.
It is over.
It is finished.
I am breaking up with you.
No, you're not, Harry.
You're just a little overwhelmed
by the strength of
our feelings, that's all.
The feelings are not of love.
They are strong, these feelings,
but they are not love.
Then what are they?
- Desperation.
- Desperation?
Desperation. Blanche,
look, at our age...
Our ag... I beg your pardon?
I was not even a twinkle
in my father's eye
when you were in high school.
- That's true.
I... that's true.
What... what...
What I meant to say was,
at our general age,
anywhere from 40 to 60,
we... we figure we have to
find someone quick
because we're running out
of time.
Now, I can understand that
for me, that desperation,
but you, Blanche,
you're so... Young.
You don't need to be desperate.
I mean, you've got
the world at your feet.
I see the way men look at you.
I don't think I can take it.
Well, what can I do
about it, Harry?
Nothing. Nothing at all.
Blanche, face it.
You are a spectacular
example of woman.
I know.
And I'm afraid that, you know,
you're just too much woman
for me.
And plus, there is
the age difference.
Yeah, well, I see what you mean.
You are a lot of woman, Blanche.
I know I don't have to worry
the way my roommates do.
No, not at all.
I mean,
that's a whole other league.
Yeah, I know it is sad.
Well, I try to play myself down,
dress quietly,
go unnoticed, but still, i...
It doesn't work.
No, you stand out.
You shine like a beacon.
It's a curse.
It always has been.
Harry.
No, you don't have to
settle for me, Blanche.
You really don't.
So what you're saying is,
I'm too much woman for you?
Yeah, it just can't work.
And you wouldn't be
devastated by the loss?
Well, it would hurt.
But you'd understand?
Of course I'd understand.
I'd have to.
I mean, I see
what's in front of me.
I see a beautiful young woman.
Harry, you are so wonderful.
And I'm just so sorry to be
hurting you like this.
But you'll get over me.
Not entirely, but you'll be able
to have a life someday.
I hope so.
You have taken this so well.
I will never forget you.
Goodbye, Harry.
Sure.
Dreyfuss, we are alone at last.
Let's go eat something
bad for us.