Dwight in Shining Armor (2018–2021): Season 4, Episode 3 - The Severians - full transcript
♪
Gretta: Mm.
♪
- I'm gonna say
ten more minutes.
You want 'em crispy
around the edges.
♪
Dwight: You know there's
raw eggs in that, right?
- Raw eggs?
[knocking]
- Sir Dwight.
See who's without.
Dwight: Will do.
- [hissing]
- [short shriek]
Man: Ohhh-ah!
[pounding]
- Gretta?
[pounding]
- You got company.
[pounding]
♪
Dwight: Okay, so about
a thousand years ago
there was this princess, Gretta,
and she was in big trouble
'cause she had lots of enemies
and not a lot of friends.
So her court magician, Baldric
cast the champion spell.
It put everyone in the woods
to sleep
until a champion would come,
break the spell with his kiss,
and deal with Gretta's big,
scary enemies.
But that guy never showed up.
Instead...
Ahhhh!
[kiss]
...they got me.
Ah!
♪
Ow!
♪
[pounding]
- Baldric!
[clang]
[pounding]
- Baldric!
- Just a sec.
Baldric: What's amiss, Highness?
- Bring my crown.
Baldric: Good heavens!
Today's the day.
Ten years gone
in the blink of an eye.
Dwight: Who are these guys?
- Severians.
- Severians?
- Savages, Sir Dwight.
Bloodlusty rampaging vandals.
[pounding]
[pounding]
[pounding]
- Ready?
- Admit the savage Severians
to our presence.
- Me?
Baldric: Mm.
- Oh.
Oh, okay.
Um.
Come on in, guys.
Baldric: No, you--
[yelling]
Enterrr savage Severians!
- Oh.
I'm really--
Oh, my bad.
I, you can--
Oh.
♪
Baldric: Every tenth year
the ruler of Rogemore
will hear the petition
of the savage Severians.
This is the day.
You may speak and be heard.
Man: Most terrifying ruler
of Rogemore,
your great-great-grandfather
conquered the Severians
and brought us under your rule.
Though we fought and poured
our blood into the earth
to win our freedom,
your might and magic
have ever subjugated us.
One hundred and twenty years ago
our fathers and mothers vowed
we would no longer fight.
We have kept that vow.
And today, we petition you
for our freedom.
We ask that you return to us
the chief stick
of the Severians,
the symbol of our liberty
and sovereignty
without which no Severian chief
may rule.
♪
♪
- No.
- What?
Baldric: The ruler of Rogemore
has spoken.
Be gone from hence, savages,
and do not darken our door again
until another ten years
have passed.
Gretta: [sigh]
- What just happened?
Baldric: The Severians have come
and gone again.
Gretta: Our hands are washed
of them
for another ten years.
- So, every ten years
these guys show up
and ask if they can please
be free now,
and you say no?
- We always say no.
- Yeah,
they've come to expect it.
- But they keep coming
every ten years?
Gretta: Tedious savages.
Baldric: Cannot take a hint
in 120 years.
Dwight: I think they're
pretty serious, Gretta.
I think they actually
wanna be free
and they want their thing.
- Chief stick.
Gretta: They're savages,
Sir Dwight.
They murder and plunder
and eat the livers
of their dead.
- Ew, for real?
- My great-great-grandfather
subdued them
and it falls to me
to keep them subdued.
Lest the kingdom decline
into savagery.
[ding]
- Ooh!
Brownies are done.
Baldric: Brownies?
Ooh.
- Wha--
Come on.
Maybe they just like to wear
crazy hair and tattoos
and war paint.
- Oh.
Well I hadn't thought of it
like that.
We must ready ourselves
for possible attack.
Dwight: What?
Gretta: Well, if they're
painting for war
we can't sit idly by.
I'll take the first watch.
Baldric: And I the second.
Sir Dwight can take the third.
- Mmh.
- Lest they get
into the house.
- Guys, they were
in the house five minutes ago
and they were totally cool.
Baldric: Hm.
What do you think
they're playing at?
- Impossible to understand
these savages.
- Mmh.
Dwight: You're gonna wanna
let those cool.
Baldric: Mm.
- Yeah, of course.
Baldric/Gretta: [loud chewing]
[crickets chirping]
[owls hooting]
[ding]
- Two o'clock
in the morning
and all is well.
[bell ringing]
[enchanting melody]
[doorknob jiggling]
[door creaks]
- Hey, I know you.
[enchanting melody]
Baldric: Wake up, Sir Dwight.
Roust yourself
you feather-headed poop-noddy.
Dwight: [sleepily] Guys, I was
up 'til two in the morning.
Baldric: You failed
at your watch
and the consequences
are disastrous.
- What?
Baldric: Hm.
- Oh, what happened
to your chair?
Gretta: This is the throne
of Rogemore.
- And Rogemore is...?
- My kingdom.
Dwight: Oh.
Baldric: Severian savages
entered during your watch.
- Yeah, yeah, I remember.
It was the girl.
The pretty one with the hair,
about our age.
Did she...
you know.
- Militsa.
- You know her?
- The last
of the Severian royal line.
Dwight: Oh, so that would
make her a princess, right?
- A chief.
Gretta: But no Severian chief
may rule...
Dwight: Without the chief stick.
Baldric: Which she has
just stolen.
Dwight: Your chair leg?
- Throne leg.
Dwight: Is the Severian
chief stick?
Gretta:
My great-great-grandfather
subdued the Severians.
- Stole their stick.
- And built it into his throne.
- Ah.
- That is so uncool.
- We leave at once.
Baldric: At once.
Dwight: Where to?
Gretta: To find the savage
Severian sneak thief
and take back what's mine.
Dwight: Well, technically hers.
[shink]
- [grunt]
Gretta: Let's away.
Dwight: So, the Severians
get their chief stick back
and they get to be
their own bosses again.
I mean, would that really be
the end of the world?
Baldric/Gretta: Yes.
Gretta:
My great-great-grandfather
conquered them.
Baldric: And thus began
the period
known as the Severian nuisance.
Gretta: Battles, skirmishes,
raids, attacks.
The Severians were a nightmare.
Dwight: Good for them.
Gretta: Until 120 years ago....
- Plus a thousand.
Gretta: ...my family
crushed them into submission.
The Severians were so
entirely decimated
that they made a vow of peace.
They would never fight again
and in exchange
we would hear out their petition
once every ten years.
Dwight: And ignore it.
Gretta: Exactly.
- Why?
What are you getting out
of this?
Baldric: Not much.
The Severians pay a tribute
of barley twice a year.
- They do?
- Mm.
- Oh, is that what that is?
I thought it was bird food.
- [laughs]
- You guys are the worst.
Baldric: Wha--
[bird calls]
Gretta: Shh.
Do you hear that?
Carry on.
It was nothing.
[thump, thump, thump]
Ogre: [howling]
[laughing to itself]
- [frightened grunting]
Gretta: Aw floof.
Baldric.
Baldric: Mm, ah.
Gretta: Ogre.
Ogre: [excited noises]
[howls]
Dwight: [sniff, sniff]
Is that oregano?
Gretta: Sir Dwight,
can you reach the dagger
in my boot?
Dwight: [grunting]
Negative.
Baldric: Oh, oh.
- Wahhh!
Gretta: Curse those Severians.
If not for them
I would be eating brownies
in bed right now.
Dwight: Or you could've
just let 'em have their stick.
Ah.
- [yells]
Gretta: Baldric, can you reach
the knife at my side?
Baldric/Gretta: [grunting]
Baldric: Sadly no.
Gretta: This is all
Militsa's fault.
Breaking into my house,
stealing my throne leg.
Dwight: Her chief stick.
Gretta: Forcing me to chase her
into the woods.
Dwight: Could've not.
Ogre: [softly groaning]
Gretta: And here we are.
- [continues groaning]
Dwight: Hey, you had your chance
to let the Severians go.
Gretta: So this is my fault?
Dwight: Look, all I'm sayin'
is conquering a people
and repressing them
for generations,
it has consequences.
- [howling]
Baldric: The Severians
would kill us all in our sleep
if we let them.
Dwight: Yeah see, you know,
I really don't get that vibe
from them.
Baldric: Thanks to you we shall
be made into a prin-mag-iot.
Dwight: Uhh.
Baldric: A princess roasted
between a magician and an idiot.
Dwight: Hey!
Mhmmh.
[unintelligible talking]
- [yells]
[enchanting melody]
Dwight:
[unintelligible murmering]
- Wake me
when the fire starts.
- I would like to ride
that elephant.
Gretta: You kissed me.
[shink]
- Mm.
Mmhh.
Guys?
♪
- Hey.
What's the matter?
- No one knows
you're here.
Dwight: Okay.
- Or what I've done.
- Uhh--
Militsa: They would not approve.
Dwight: You just saved
our lives.
That ogre was gonna cook us.
- Well, ogres must eat too.
- Yeah.
Yeah, I get it.
I mean, I'm not judgin'.
I just uh...
How did you um, do that?
- Oh.
The sound.
It lulls the hearer to sleep.
- But you didn't fall asleep?
- I'm accustomed to it.
Dwight: Oh.
Cool.
- We wish harm to no one.
Not to you, not to the ogre,
not even to the ruler
of Rogemore
and her magician.
We keep the vow.
Dwight: The vow?
Militsa: In the reign
of my great-great-grandmother
our people were conquered
by the Rogemore barbarians
and so began a time
known as the Severian night.
Battle after battle raged
as we tried to win back
our freedom,
but in the end our people,
they were crushed
into the ground.
Our fathers and mothers
could not bear the thought
of more of our children's
blood loss
so they made a Severian vow
that we would fight no more.
- I mean, I'm a pacifist myself
but you can't just let people
push you around.
- I agree with you but Samo.
- Samo?
- My advisor.
He and the others
live by their honor
and the ancient code.
When a Severian
gives her word,
not only she
but her grandchildren keep it.
- Whoa.
That's hardcore.
Gretta: Uh!
Urgh!
Dwight: Hey, knock it off.
Put that thing away.
Militsa: Shhh.
Shh.
Shhh.
- Who do you think
saved us from that ogre?
- Quiet.
- Her?
Why?
- Ahh!
Hairy frogs!
Militsa: Shhh.
Dwight: Hey, hey.
Wake up big guy.
Come on, man.
Baldric: [grunting]
Princess.
Dwight: Hey, hey, she's fine.
We're fine.
Thanks to her.
- What do you make
of this, savage?
Dwight: Okay, can we stop
with the savage thing?
They're obviously not savages.
Severians: [barking noises]
- Stay behind me.
Samo: What have you done, child?
- Samo.
Dwight: She just saved
our lives.
- What have you done?
- For 120 years
we have petitioned
for our freedom
from these barbarian overlords.
Gretta: Barbarian?
Militsa: They live by war
and blood.
They eat the brains
of their own dead.
- No, we don't.
- That was one time.
Militsa: They will kill us
in our beds if they wish to.
Gretta: I've never killed anyone
in their bed.
- But even this death
is more pleasing to me
than a life of servitude.
I am Militsa, the last heir
of the house of Severia,
and this...
Severians: [gasp]
Militsa: This belongs to me.
- I have waited all my life
to bow before a Severian chief
but I cannot bow to a thief.
Our fathers and mothers
made a Severian vow
to the barbarians
that we would keep the peace
and that in return
they would hear our petitions.
- Worst deal ever.
Samo: We share your desire
for freedom, child.
There is no freedom in dishonor.
We are not like
the brutish barbarians.
- Brutish?
- When a Severian
gives his word,
not only he
but his grandchildren keep it.
Ruler of Rogemore.
This was stolen from you
by this reckless child.
Dwight: Well, first it was
stolen from you guys
by her psycho grandpa.
Quick word.
If you take that stick,
it makes you a total dirtbag.
Gretta: I am the ruler
of Rogemore.
Dwight: And I'm
the PTA student liaison.
Who cares.
Neither of us gets to repress
a civilization.
- I may not agree
with tradition
but it is not for me to change.
- Then who's it for?
- Generations
of my family--
- Are dead!
They did a bunch of things
for reasons that probably
made sense to them.
You weren't there
to tell them what to do.
They're not here
to tell you what to do.
That was then.
This is today.
It is up to you to do
the right thing.
- This is today
and they're not here.
I am.
Baldric, I have revised
my opinion of the Severians.
- As have I.
Gretta: They are a peaceful,
noble people.
Militsa saved us
when she could've killed us.
Dwight: Right.
So just give 'em
their stick back.
- I can't do that
Sir Dwight.
Dwight: I can.
Gretta: You misunderstand me.
The Severians may only
take their freedom
in no other way
than by the terms of the vow.
- A Severian vow
is a binding oath.
Dwight: That even their
grandchildren are stuck with.
Gretta: Accordingly, they may
only accept their chief stick
within 24 hours
of making their petition.
Dwight: Militsa,
how long were we asleep?
- About an hour.
- And I gotta ask,
how did you carry
all three of us
by yourself to the tent?
Okay.
So, if we hurry
we can still do this.
♪
- Then let it be done.
♪
[knock, knock, knock]
- Ready?
- Highness.
- Admit the noble Severians
to our presence.
Dwight: You got it.
- [hissing]
- [hissing back]
Hey guys.
[pounding]
- [clears throat]
Dwight: Oh.
Uh.
Enter noble Severians.
Hey.
Hey.
Baldric: Every ten years
the ruler of Rogemore
will hear the petition
of the Severians.
This is that day.
You may speak and be heard.
Militsa: [sigh]
Ruler of Rogemore,
your great-great-grandfather
conquered the Severians
and brought us under your rule.
Though we have fought
and poured our blood
into the earth
to win our freedom,
your might and magic
have ever subjugated us.
One hundred and twenty years ago
our fathers and mothers
made a vow
that we would no longer fight.
We have kept the vow.
We come on this day
to petition for our freedom.
We ask that you return to us
the chief stick
of the Severians.
the symbol of our liberty
and sovereignty,
without which no Severian chief
may rule.
♪
- Sir Dwight.
- Oh.
Here you go.
- The ruler of Rogemore
has no claim on you.
That which was taken
by my house
is now restored by my hand.
Go Militsa,
chief of the Severians.
Rule your people in peace.
♪
♪
- My chief.
♪
Severians: [chanting]
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho.
Militsa: [joyful laughter]
Severians: [chanting continues]
Dwight/Severians: Wooooh!
Baldric: Ah.
[grunt]
Huzzah!
Oh.
[soft chuckle]
Gretta: Brownies.
They taste even better
than they smell.
Dwight: You're gonna wanna
let those cool for a minute.
- You eat them like this.
Dwight: Or just jump
right in there.
Militsa/Gretta: [laughter]
- There's really
no wrong way to do it.
Militsa/Gretta: [laughter]
♪
Gretta: Mm.
♪
- I'm gonna say
ten more minutes.
You want 'em crispy
around the edges.
♪
Dwight: You know there's
raw eggs in that, right?
- Raw eggs?
[knocking]
- Sir Dwight.
See who's without.
Dwight: Will do.
- [hissing]
- [short shriek]
Man: Ohhh-ah!
[pounding]
- Gretta?
[pounding]
- You got company.
[pounding]
♪
Dwight: Okay, so about
a thousand years ago
there was this princess, Gretta,
and she was in big trouble
'cause she had lots of enemies
and not a lot of friends.
So her court magician, Baldric
cast the champion spell.
It put everyone in the woods
to sleep
until a champion would come,
break the spell with his kiss,
and deal with Gretta's big,
scary enemies.
But that guy never showed up.
Instead...
Ahhhh!
[kiss]
...they got me.
Ah!
♪
Ow!
♪
[pounding]
- Baldric!
[clang]
[pounding]
- Baldric!
- Just a sec.
Baldric: What's amiss, Highness?
- Bring my crown.
Baldric: Good heavens!
Today's the day.
Ten years gone
in the blink of an eye.
Dwight: Who are these guys?
- Severians.
- Severians?
- Savages, Sir Dwight.
Bloodlusty rampaging vandals.
[pounding]
[pounding]
[pounding]
- Ready?
- Admit the savage Severians
to our presence.
- Me?
Baldric: Mm.
- Oh.
Oh, okay.
Um.
Come on in, guys.
Baldric: No, you--
[yelling]
Enterrr savage Severians!
- Oh.
I'm really--
Oh, my bad.
I, you can--
Oh.
♪
Baldric: Every tenth year
the ruler of Rogemore
will hear the petition
of the savage Severians.
This is the day.
You may speak and be heard.
Man: Most terrifying ruler
of Rogemore,
your great-great-grandfather
conquered the Severians
and brought us under your rule.
Though we fought and poured
our blood into the earth
to win our freedom,
your might and magic
have ever subjugated us.
One hundred and twenty years ago
our fathers and mothers vowed
we would no longer fight.
We have kept that vow.
And today, we petition you
for our freedom.
We ask that you return to us
the chief stick
of the Severians,
the symbol of our liberty
and sovereignty
without which no Severian chief
may rule.
♪
♪
- No.
- What?
Baldric: The ruler of Rogemore
has spoken.
Be gone from hence, savages,
and do not darken our door again
until another ten years
have passed.
Gretta: [sigh]
- What just happened?
Baldric: The Severians have come
and gone again.
Gretta: Our hands are washed
of them
for another ten years.
- So, every ten years
these guys show up
and ask if they can please
be free now,
and you say no?
- We always say no.
- Yeah,
they've come to expect it.
- But they keep coming
every ten years?
Gretta: Tedious savages.
Baldric: Cannot take a hint
in 120 years.
Dwight: I think they're
pretty serious, Gretta.
I think they actually
wanna be free
and they want their thing.
- Chief stick.
Gretta: They're savages,
Sir Dwight.
They murder and plunder
and eat the livers
of their dead.
- Ew, for real?
- My great-great-grandfather
subdued them
and it falls to me
to keep them subdued.
Lest the kingdom decline
into savagery.
[ding]
- Ooh!
Brownies are done.
Baldric: Brownies?
Ooh.
- Wha--
Come on.
Maybe they just like to wear
crazy hair and tattoos
and war paint.
- Oh.
Well I hadn't thought of it
like that.
We must ready ourselves
for possible attack.
Dwight: What?
Gretta: Well, if they're
painting for war
we can't sit idly by.
I'll take the first watch.
Baldric: And I the second.
Sir Dwight can take the third.
- Mmh.
- Lest they get
into the house.
- Guys, they were
in the house five minutes ago
and they were totally cool.
Baldric: Hm.
What do you think
they're playing at?
- Impossible to understand
these savages.
- Mmh.
Dwight: You're gonna wanna
let those cool.
Baldric: Mm.
- Yeah, of course.
Baldric/Gretta: [loud chewing]
[crickets chirping]
[owls hooting]
[ding]
- Two o'clock
in the morning
and all is well.
[bell ringing]
[enchanting melody]
[doorknob jiggling]
[door creaks]
- Hey, I know you.
[enchanting melody]
Baldric: Wake up, Sir Dwight.
Roust yourself
you feather-headed poop-noddy.
Dwight: [sleepily] Guys, I was
up 'til two in the morning.
Baldric: You failed
at your watch
and the consequences
are disastrous.
- What?
Baldric: Hm.
- Oh, what happened
to your chair?
Gretta: This is the throne
of Rogemore.
- And Rogemore is...?
- My kingdom.
Dwight: Oh.
Baldric: Severian savages
entered during your watch.
- Yeah, yeah, I remember.
It was the girl.
The pretty one with the hair,
about our age.
Did she...
you know.
- Militsa.
- You know her?
- The last
of the Severian royal line.
Dwight: Oh, so that would
make her a princess, right?
- A chief.
Gretta: But no Severian chief
may rule...
Dwight: Without the chief stick.
Baldric: Which she has
just stolen.
Dwight: Your chair leg?
- Throne leg.
Dwight: Is the Severian
chief stick?
Gretta:
My great-great-grandfather
subdued the Severians.
- Stole their stick.
- And built it into his throne.
- Ah.
- That is so uncool.
- We leave at once.
Baldric: At once.
Dwight: Where to?
Gretta: To find the savage
Severian sneak thief
and take back what's mine.
Dwight: Well, technically hers.
[shink]
- [grunt]
Gretta: Let's away.
Dwight: So, the Severians
get their chief stick back
and they get to be
their own bosses again.
I mean, would that really be
the end of the world?
Baldric/Gretta: Yes.
Gretta:
My great-great-grandfather
conquered them.
Baldric: And thus began
the period
known as the Severian nuisance.
Gretta: Battles, skirmishes,
raids, attacks.
The Severians were a nightmare.
Dwight: Good for them.
Gretta: Until 120 years ago....
- Plus a thousand.
Gretta: ...my family
crushed them into submission.
The Severians were so
entirely decimated
that they made a vow of peace.
They would never fight again
and in exchange
we would hear out their petition
once every ten years.
Dwight: And ignore it.
Gretta: Exactly.
- Why?
What are you getting out
of this?
Baldric: Not much.
The Severians pay a tribute
of barley twice a year.
- They do?
- Mm.
- Oh, is that what that is?
I thought it was bird food.
- [laughs]
- You guys are the worst.
Baldric: Wha--
[bird calls]
Gretta: Shh.
Do you hear that?
Carry on.
It was nothing.
[thump, thump, thump]
Ogre: [howling]
[laughing to itself]
- [frightened grunting]
Gretta: Aw floof.
Baldric.
Baldric: Mm, ah.
Gretta: Ogre.
Ogre: [excited noises]
[howls]
Dwight: [sniff, sniff]
Is that oregano?
Gretta: Sir Dwight,
can you reach the dagger
in my boot?
Dwight: [grunting]
Negative.
Baldric: Oh, oh.
- Wahhh!
Gretta: Curse those Severians.
If not for them
I would be eating brownies
in bed right now.
Dwight: Or you could've
just let 'em have their stick.
Ah.
- [yells]
Gretta: Baldric, can you reach
the knife at my side?
Baldric/Gretta: [grunting]
Baldric: Sadly no.
Gretta: This is all
Militsa's fault.
Breaking into my house,
stealing my throne leg.
Dwight: Her chief stick.
Gretta: Forcing me to chase her
into the woods.
Dwight: Could've not.
Ogre: [softly groaning]
Gretta: And here we are.
- [continues groaning]
Dwight: Hey, you had your chance
to let the Severians go.
Gretta: So this is my fault?
Dwight: Look, all I'm sayin'
is conquering a people
and repressing them
for generations,
it has consequences.
- [howling]
Baldric: The Severians
would kill us all in our sleep
if we let them.
Dwight: Yeah see, you know,
I really don't get that vibe
from them.
Baldric: Thanks to you we shall
be made into a prin-mag-iot.
Dwight: Uhh.
Baldric: A princess roasted
between a magician and an idiot.
Dwight: Hey!
Mhmmh.
[unintelligible talking]
- [yells]
[enchanting melody]
Dwight:
[unintelligible murmering]
- Wake me
when the fire starts.
- I would like to ride
that elephant.
Gretta: You kissed me.
[shink]
- Mm.
Mmhh.
Guys?
♪
- Hey.
What's the matter?
- No one knows
you're here.
Dwight: Okay.
- Or what I've done.
- Uhh--
Militsa: They would not approve.
Dwight: You just saved
our lives.
That ogre was gonna cook us.
- Well, ogres must eat too.
- Yeah.
Yeah, I get it.
I mean, I'm not judgin'.
I just uh...
How did you um, do that?
- Oh.
The sound.
It lulls the hearer to sleep.
- But you didn't fall asleep?
- I'm accustomed to it.
Dwight: Oh.
Cool.
- We wish harm to no one.
Not to you, not to the ogre,
not even to the ruler
of Rogemore
and her magician.
We keep the vow.
Dwight: The vow?
Militsa: In the reign
of my great-great-grandmother
our people were conquered
by the Rogemore barbarians
and so began a time
known as the Severian night.
Battle after battle raged
as we tried to win back
our freedom,
but in the end our people,
they were crushed
into the ground.
Our fathers and mothers
could not bear the thought
of more of our children's
blood loss
so they made a Severian vow
that we would fight no more.
- I mean, I'm a pacifist myself
but you can't just let people
push you around.
- I agree with you but Samo.
- Samo?
- My advisor.
He and the others
live by their honor
and the ancient code.
When a Severian
gives her word,
not only she
but her grandchildren keep it.
- Whoa.
That's hardcore.
Gretta: Uh!
Urgh!
Dwight: Hey, knock it off.
Put that thing away.
Militsa: Shhh.
Shh.
Shhh.
- Who do you think
saved us from that ogre?
- Quiet.
- Her?
Why?
- Ahh!
Hairy frogs!
Militsa: Shhh.
Dwight: Hey, hey.
Wake up big guy.
Come on, man.
Baldric: [grunting]
Princess.
Dwight: Hey, hey, she's fine.
We're fine.
Thanks to her.
- What do you make
of this, savage?
Dwight: Okay, can we stop
with the savage thing?
They're obviously not savages.
Severians: [barking noises]
- Stay behind me.
Samo: What have you done, child?
- Samo.
Dwight: She just saved
our lives.
- What have you done?
- For 120 years
we have petitioned
for our freedom
from these barbarian overlords.
Gretta: Barbarian?
Militsa: They live by war
and blood.
They eat the brains
of their own dead.
- No, we don't.
- That was one time.
Militsa: They will kill us
in our beds if they wish to.
Gretta: I've never killed anyone
in their bed.
- But even this death
is more pleasing to me
than a life of servitude.
I am Militsa, the last heir
of the house of Severia,
and this...
Severians: [gasp]
Militsa: This belongs to me.
- I have waited all my life
to bow before a Severian chief
but I cannot bow to a thief.
Our fathers and mothers
made a Severian vow
to the barbarians
that we would keep the peace
and that in return
they would hear our petitions.
- Worst deal ever.
Samo: We share your desire
for freedom, child.
There is no freedom in dishonor.
We are not like
the brutish barbarians.
- Brutish?
- When a Severian
gives his word,
not only he
but his grandchildren keep it.
Ruler of Rogemore.
This was stolen from you
by this reckless child.
Dwight: Well, first it was
stolen from you guys
by her psycho grandpa.
Quick word.
If you take that stick,
it makes you a total dirtbag.
Gretta: I am the ruler
of Rogemore.
Dwight: And I'm
the PTA student liaison.
Who cares.
Neither of us gets to repress
a civilization.
- I may not agree
with tradition
but it is not for me to change.
- Then who's it for?
- Generations
of my family--
- Are dead!
They did a bunch of things
for reasons that probably
made sense to them.
You weren't there
to tell them what to do.
They're not here
to tell you what to do.
That was then.
This is today.
It is up to you to do
the right thing.
- This is today
and they're not here.
I am.
Baldric, I have revised
my opinion of the Severians.
- As have I.
Gretta: They are a peaceful,
noble people.
Militsa saved us
when she could've killed us.
Dwight: Right.
So just give 'em
their stick back.
- I can't do that
Sir Dwight.
Dwight: I can.
Gretta: You misunderstand me.
The Severians may only
take their freedom
in no other way
than by the terms of the vow.
- A Severian vow
is a binding oath.
Dwight: That even their
grandchildren are stuck with.
Gretta: Accordingly, they may
only accept their chief stick
within 24 hours
of making their petition.
Dwight: Militsa,
how long were we asleep?
- About an hour.
- And I gotta ask,
how did you carry
all three of us
by yourself to the tent?
Okay.
So, if we hurry
we can still do this.
♪
- Then let it be done.
♪
[knock, knock, knock]
- Ready?
- Highness.
- Admit the noble Severians
to our presence.
Dwight: You got it.
- [hissing]
- [hissing back]
Hey guys.
[pounding]
- [clears throat]
Dwight: Oh.
Uh.
Enter noble Severians.
Hey.
Hey.
Baldric: Every ten years
the ruler of Rogemore
will hear the petition
of the Severians.
This is that day.
You may speak and be heard.
Militsa: [sigh]
Ruler of Rogemore,
your great-great-grandfather
conquered the Severians
and brought us under your rule.
Though we have fought
and poured our blood
into the earth
to win our freedom,
your might and magic
have ever subjugated us.
One hundred and twenty years ago
our fathers and mothers
made a vow
that we would no longer fight.
We have kept the vow.
We come on this day
to petition for our freedom.
We ask that you return to us
the chief stick
of the Severians.
the symbol of our liberty
and sovereignty,
without which no Severian chief
may rule.
♪
- Sir Dwight.
- Oh.
Here you go.
- The ruler of Rogemore
has no claim on you.
That which was taken
by my house
is now restored by my hand.
Go Militsa,
chief of the Severians.
Rule your people in peace.
♪
♪
- My chief.
♪
Severians: [chanting]
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho.
Militsa: [joyful laughter]
Severians: [chanting continues]
Dwight/Severians: Wooooh!
Baldric: Ah.
[grunt]
Huzzah!
Oh.
[soft chuckle]
Gretta: Brownies.
They taste even better
than they smell.
Dwight: You're gonna wanna
let those cool for a minute.
- You eat them like this.
Dwight: Or just jump
right in there.
Militsa/Gretta: [laughter]
- There's really
no wrong way to do it.
Militsa/Gretta: [laughter]
♪