Dwight in Shining Armor (2018–2021): Season 3, Episode 7 - A Bone To Pick - full transcript
♪
Hexela: The evil that was buried
here long ago is unearthed.
It rises.
It gathers strength.
Mr. Dale: I have to get home.
It's almost dark.
And I, I have no idea
what happens when it 's dark.
- Uh-huh.
Mr. Dale: We have tampered
with dark forces
that will be our undoing.
We dig here.
Zeke: Dwight, Gretta.
The three of us are teaming up
on a new lead.
- Bring it.
- Mysterious holes are turning
up all over Woodside.
♪
Zeke: Approximately
four feet by four feet.
Dwight: So weird.
- That makes seventy-two.
- Seventy-two?
- This is no
isolated incident.
No random act of hooliganism.
- Great word.
Gretta: You suspect
some sinister plot.
- Hooliganism.
Bud, are you so stoked you just
worked that into a sentence?
- Look, seventy-two holes
dug in and around Woodside
in the last three months.
And those are just the ones
that have been found
and reported.
Gretta: This bodes ill.
Dwight: Right in the middle
of a very nice lawn.
- Huh, dug by hand.
With a shovel.
Two shovels, by the look of it.
See, two distinct
shovel patterns
means two culprits.
Baldric: Highness.
Hexela: What have we here?
Dwight: Big hole in the ground
dug by two dudes
with two shovels two nights ago.
- One of many such holes.
Baldric: Sir Dwight, a moment
of private conversation,
if you please.
Gretta: The evil
that is buried here rises.
Dwight: Are we taking that
literally?
Hexela: It was foolish to think
that this ground could hold
a Tovenaar forever.
Dwight: Wait.
So, what are we saying?
Gretta: We have grave suspicion.
Baldric: Perhaps there's
some harmless explanation.
Hexela: Like what?
- Well, we ruled out
hooliganism.
Hexela: I fear the worst.
- What exactly is the worst?
- Someone is unearthing
the Tovenaar's bones.
- Ah, geez.
Gretta: And when they assemble
them all...
- Don't say it.
- The Tovenaar will rise.
- Okay.
Guys.
- Whaddaya got there?
Dwight: Oh!
Uh, nothing.
No, no, it's--
I-- I just dropped my pin.
- W.R.?
Dwight: Wally...
Rowbothom.
My uncle.
My great uncle Wally.
He, um, he passed away
last year.
- Oh.
- [clears throat]
I, uh, I have what I need here.
Just got a report
of another hole
by Woodside Lake.
Dwight: We will, uh,
catch up with you later.
Okay?
Baldric: My condolences,
Sir Dwight.
Gretta: Were you close
to your Uncle Wally?
Hexela: What killed him?
- Guys, I-- I made him up.
Hexela: Hm?
Dwight: 'Cause I just found
the first lead in this case.
You know what that stands for?
- Wally Rowbothom.
- May he rest in peace.
- Dead Uncle Wally
cannot help us now.
- He's not dead.
Gretta: Oh! Thank heavens!
Hexela: Oh!
Baldric: Oh! A miracle!
Hexela: We must find
the Tovenaar bones
before the skeleton is complete.
- Great.
You two do that,
Gretta and I will follow up
on this.
Gretta: What?
Dwight: It'll make sense
once we get there.
[bike chain clicking]
Baldric: Whoever
is behind this--
Hexela: We know who.
Baldric: He must be stopped.
♪
Dwight: Okay,
so about a thousand years ago,
there was this princess, Gretta,
and she was in big trouble
because she had lots of enemies
and not a lot of friends.
So, her court magician, Baldric,
cast the champion spell.
It put everyone in the woods
to sleep
until a champion would come,
break the spell with his kiss,
and deal with Gretta's big,
scary enemies.
But that guy never showed up.
Instead--
Aaahhh!
[kiss]
--they got me.
Aahh!
♪
Ow!
♪
♪
[raven ruffling feathers]
[bike chain clicking]
Gretta: [sighs] Is this
Uncle Wally's house?
[door bursts open]
- Mr. Dale?
[raven cawing]
Mr. Dale: Ha!
There.
It thought it could hide.
[raven cawing]
Dwight: What-- Mr. Dale,
does this belong to you?
- What?
Yes, that's mine.
Gretta: Explain yourself, sir.
Dwight: Wh-- What she means
is do you know anything
about a big hole
in somebody's lawn
out on Oak Street?
Gretta: Or any
of the other holes
that have appeared
here recently?
- Holes?
Gretta: He has a guilty face.
Dwight: He does not.
Oh, wow, yeah, he's guilty.
- Get inside.
[raven cawing]
Hurry!
[raven cawing]
[door closes]
Mr. Dale: I've been
digging holes.
That explains it.
Dwight: It does?
Gretta: So, it was you?
Mr. Dale: It must have been.
[raven cawing]
Gretta: And what
of your cohort?
- My what?
Gretta: Two shovels
means two culprits.
- Listen to me.
I don't know what I do at night.
From sundown to sunrise, it--
it's, uh, blank.
- Well, how long
has this been going on?
Mr. Dale: Months.
I come to at sunup,
usually covered in dirt.
- Any idea why?
- I know why.
I'm cursed.
Whatever was in that box...
- What box?
Mr. Dale: The one I found
at the dig.
I brought it back to the office,
I opened it...
- What was in the box?
- I don't remember
anything else about that night.
Or any other night since.
Hexela: [sighs]
It's him, Baldric.
Sir Aldred.
- How do we find him?
Hexela: [sighs]
A safeguard spell.
Baldric: Hm?
Hexela: It was designed
to allow a witch to keep tabs
on a loved one.
- Loved one?
- Yes!
I can use it to find Sir Aldred.
[pages ruffling]
- You can?
- Ah! Here it is.
I'll need a scarf
and a large bowl.
Baldric: What exactly is there
between you and Sir Aldred?
- Oh!
Pppfffftt.
[laughing] Not a thing!
[Hexela snorts]
"Fill the bowl with water
while recalling a favorite
memory of your loved one."
Hm.
Okay, let's see here.
[water pouring]
Oh!
[laughing quietly]
Awww.
Aww.
Ah, ah.
Next step.
"Place in the water something
your loved one gave you."
[gasps] Ah!
Baldric: You're wear--
- I don't even like them.
[plink]
Dwight: So, you wake up
every morning
covered in dirt.
- Usually with a shovel.
[door opens]
[shovels clatter
to the floor]
Mr. Dale: See?
Oh, wait.
I found something this morning
in my pocket.
Dwight: Any idea
where this came from?
Gretta: Two hundred and five.
- It came from there.
[ominous music]
[indistinct chatter]
Dwight: We should not
be in here.
- I see no sign
of Hellibad.
- Dude sees us,
we're going to be
singing the news
and mopping the floors
for the rest of our lives.
Thug: Hey, mate.
Where you been hiding out?
- Me?
Thug: Ah, hey,
pint for my friend.
- Your usual?
[clinking]
Dwight: You come here a lot?
- I, uh...
Jacopo: Ah, sig-- signore!
Signore!
Ah!
Your favorite table is ready.
[signals loudly to workers]
Woman: Ahh!
Jacopo: Not a problem, sir.
It's perfect--
Principessa.
Champion boy.
You are with him?
He is with you?
You are all together
with each other?
Mr. Dale: Oh, well, uh, yeah.
A table for three, please.
- Certamente.
[claps hands]
[thud]
[patrons laugh]
- Come this way.
Yes.
Follow me.
This table has been empty
all night.
No, not for you.
Hold on there.
Dwight: Jacopo!
Wow, look at you,
moving up to management.
Jacopo: Si.
I have been most fortunate.
I am deeply grateful.
- Have you seen Hellibad
anywhere about?
Hellibad the Parrot:
[squawks loudly]
Tabs are due, tabs are due.
[squawks]
Jacopo: Signore Hellibad
has gone away.
- He has?
- Yes.
He grew tired of the tavern life
and met a woman,
large and beautiful,
a shoemaker
with a shop far away.
And he has gone there
to marry her
and make shoes and babies
and live happily forevermore.
- Okay, good for him.
- I am now the keeper
of this tavern.
Man: Your Pineapple Shasta,
good sir.
Jacopo: Go! Get--go!
Your dinner is being prepared,
signore,
exactly as you like it.
And for the honored guests.
- Oh, just water for me.
- The very same.
- Immediatamente.
[thud, thud]
- Looks like "nighttime you"
comes here a lot.
Gretta: And commands
great respect.
- I don't remember
ever setting foot
in this place before.
- Well, you don't remember
digging 73 holes
all over Woodside either.
- [sighs] That many?
- Probably more.
- Your pastry,
stuffed with succulent herring
and drizzled liberally
with the apricot sauce
you so much enjoy.
Buon appetito.
Yes, please enjoy.
- Look at its little eyeballs.
- [groans]
I'm gonna be sick.
Gretta: Not on the pie.
Baldric: Are those diamonds
real?
- It's hard to say.
Let's move on, hm?
Okay, oh, "Whisper into the bowl
a secret your loved one
has confided in no one but you."
Hm.
Oh.
[whispering inaudibly]
Hm.
[whispering inaudibly]
[eating sounds]
- [slight gag]
- Mm.
[phone buzzing]
Dwight: Hey, Zeke.
- [with mouth full]
Hi, Zeke.
Dwight: Did you get the picture?
Zeke: Uh, dude,
I'm at the Lakeview Café.
This is nuts.
[laughter]
Gretta: [spits water out]
Dwight: Eww.
Gretta: Hide!
[poof]
[water dripping]
[snaps scarf]
Hexela: Read me the next step,
Baldric.
Baldric: "Once the blindfold
is secure,
[light clearing of throat]
hold something that belongs
to your loved one."
- Ah, yes.
Behind me to the right,
in the cabinet,
second drawer in the back.
Baldric: Hm.
[opens drawer]
- I see a quill,
a rat skin,
and a little heart-shaped box.
- The box.
[click]
♪
- It's a sock.
- Yeah, that's it.
- W-Why do you have
Sir Aldred's sock?
- It's unimportant now, Baldric.
- In-- in a special heart box.
- Give me the sock, Baldric!
Baldric: There.
[grunts]
"Imagine the future
you will share
with your loved one."
- Now what?
Baldric: "Follow these steps
and you will see
"through the eyes
of your loved one
for exactly 30 beats
of your heart."
♪
[whispering sounds]
- Is it working?
- Oh! Shh!
[ominous music]
[boots click on the floor]
[door squeaks open]
- Who is that guy?
Dwight: Sir Aldred.
Gretta: A Tovenaar.
Dwight: Which is like
a scary, undead, mega-wizard.
- You're kidding.
Dwight: I'm really not.
[intense music]
- I see...
[boots clicking]
[lock clicking]
[safe door swings open]
[creaking
and mechanical clicking]
[clanging]
[heart beating]
- [breathless]
Oh, Baldric!
[breathing heavily]
[indistinct chatter]
- He's gone below.
Let's after him!
Dwight: No, let's-- let's not.
The last time we went up
against this guy,
he almost killed us
with that Hopak dance.
- What!?
Dwight: The only reason
we're still alive
is 'cause he turned himself
into a puddle.
Tell you later.
[pulls sword out of sheath]
- We shan't
confront him openly.
- Darn right, we shan't.
- We shall use stealth
and learn what the villain
is about.
Surreptitiously.
- Wait.
What are we doing?
Dwight: We're gonna be
super sneaky
and spy on the guy
in the basement.
♪
[footsteps]
[footsteps]
[footsteps]
- It's a cypher lock.
We're foiled.
Mr. Dale: What's a cypher lock?
- A lock
that may only be opened
by moving the various components
of the mechanism
in the correct order, direction,
and distance.
- I see the bad guys
put their logo on it.
- The emblem
of the Tovenaars.
[phone buzzing]
Dwight: Hey, Zeke.
- I'm looking
at another hole.
Woodside Park, uh,
next to the monkey bars.
- So weird.
Zeke: I'll text you pictures.
[camera shutter]
It-- it's getting dark out here.
Uh, I'm gonna have to come back.
Dwight: Dude,
can I call you back?
[crash]
Baldric: What did you see?
- The end of the world.
- [softly] Oh.
- He has the bones, Baldric.
Baldric: How many?
- All but one.
[keys jingle]
[turns key in lock]
[door creaks open]
♪
♪
Sir Aldred: The fourth
proximal phalanx.
- What?
- On your right foot.
- Just one little bone.
- [chuckles]
Did you know
that one in a thousand babies
is born with an extra toe?
Science is fascinating.
- [sighs]
What makes
this one different?
Sir Aldred: Ah,
it's the smallest
of the proximal phalanges.
One of the most commonly
broken bones in the foot.
Mr. Dale: [exasperated sigh]
I mean, why can't we find
the confounded thing?
- That's the obvious
question, Herfenfrefen.
And the answer is, as I fear,
as obvious.
- Not obvious to me.
Sir Aldred: The bone is secured
in some protected place.
Hexela: The bones are searching
for one another.
They long to be reunited.
Find one Tovenaar bone,
it will lead you to the rest.
Baldric: But inside that coffer
it is safe?
Hexela: As safe as any place
on earth.
♪
Mr. Dale: Arrgghh!
Then we are undone!
[growling angrily]
[smack]
Oh-ho-ho!
[grunting in pain]
[growling angrily]
[smack]
Gah... gah...
- Why did you do that?
Twice?
- We'll never find it.
Sir Aldred: Fortune
favors the patient soul.
We're close.
Closer than ever.
First you, Herdenfluffer,
then we find all the rest.
Every one of our brothers.
Then I shall finally
have made amends.
- Come now, no one blames you
for the fall
of the brotherhood.
- I blame myself.
♪
- Sir Aldred
will tear this village apart
to find that bone,
and if he finds it--
- One Tovenaar
is threat enough, but two is--
- Officially
a brotherhood.
And they won't stop there,
Baldric.
They will find every dark realm
on this earth.
If it takes them
a million years,
they will bring up the bones
of all the Tovenaars.
- The dark times return.
- We have to stop him.
To the Swine and Slosh Tavern.
- Wait, I must call
Her Highness
and let her know
there's a kidney pie
in the icebox
and not to wait supper for me.
[dialing]
[phone ringing]
[phone buzzing]
[phone buzzing]
Mr. Dale: Hm.
I propose we eat their brains
and innards.
- What?
- No?
Oh fine.
- Do you know who that is?
Gretta of the House
of Moondragon,
the last heir of Osric the Grim.
- And the boy?
Sir Aldred: I forget.
You know how bad I am
with names.
Dilbert?
Dwayne?
It doesn't matter.
These two are no threat to us.
They may yet be of some use.
[phone continues to buzz]
♪
♪
♪
♪
Hexela: The evil that was buried
here long ago is unearthed.
It rises.
It gathers strength.
Mr. Dale: I have to get home.
It's almost dark.
And I, I have no idea
what happens when it 's dark.
- Uh-huh.
Mr. Dale: We have tampered
with dark forces
that will be our undoing.
We dig here.
Zeke: Dwight, Gretta.
The three of us are teaming up
on a new lead.
- Bring it.
- Mysterious holes are turning
up all over Woodside.
♪
Zeke: Approximately
four feet by four feet.
Dwight: So weird.
- That makes seventy-two.
- Seventy-two?
- This is no
isolated incident.
No random act of hooliganism.
- Great word.
Gretta: You suspect
some sinister plot.
- Hooliganism.
Bud, are you so stoked you just
worked that into a sentence?
- Look, seventy-two holes
dug in and around Woodside
in the last three months.
And those are just the ones
that have been found
and reported.
Gretta: This bodes ill.
Dwight: Right in the middle
of a very nice lawn.
- Huh, dug by hand.
With a shovel.
Two shovels, by the look of it.
See, two distinct
shovel patterns
means two culprits.
Baldric: Highness.
Hexela: What have we here?
Dwight: Big hole in the ground
dug by two dudes
with two shovels two nights ago.
- One of many such holes.
Baldric: Sir Dwight, a moment
of private conversation,
if you please.
Gretta: The evil
that is buried here rises.
Dwight: Are we taking that
literally?
Hexela: It was foolish to think
that this ground could hold
a Tovenaar forever.
Dwight: Wait.
So, what are we saying?
Gretta: We have grave suspicion.
Baldric: Perhaps there's
some harmless explanation.
Hexela: Like what?
- Well, we ruled out
hooliganism.
Hexela: I fear the worst.
- What exactly is the worst?
- Someone is unearthing
the Tovenaar's bones.
- Ah, geez.
Gretta: And when they assemble
them all...
- Don't say it.
- The Tovenaar will rise.
- Okay.
Guys.
- Whaddaya got there?
Dwight: Oh!
Uh, nothing.
No, no, it's--
I-- I just dropped my pin.
- W.R.?
Dwight: Wally...
Rowbothom.
My uncle.
My great uncle Wally.
He, um, he passed away
last year.
- Oh.
- [clears throat]
I, uh, I have what I need here.
Just got a report
of another hole
by Woodside Lake.
Dwight: We will, uh,
catch up with you later.
Okay?
Baldric: My condolences,
Sir Dwight.
Gretta: Were you close
to your Uncle Wally?
Hexela: What killed him?
- Guys, I-- I made him up.
Hexela: Hm?
Dwight: 'Cause I just found
the first lead in this case.
You know what that stands for?
- Wally Rowbothom.
- May he rest in peace.
- Dead Uncle Wally
cannot help us now.
- He's not dead.
Gretta: Oh! Thank heavens!
Hexela: Oh!
Baldric: Oh! A miracle!
Hexela: We must find
the Tovenaar bones
before the skeleton is complete.
- Great.
You two do that,
Gretta and I will follow up
on this.
Gretta: What?
Dwight: It'll make sense
once we get there.
[bike chain clicking]
Baldric: Whoever
is behind this--
Hexela: We know who.
Baldric: He must be stopped.
♪
Dwight: Okay,
so about a thousand years ago,
there was this princess, Gretta,
and she was in big trouble
because she had lots of enemies
and not a lot of friends.
So, her court magician, Baldric,
cast the champion spell.
It put everyone in the woods
to sleep
until a champion would come,
break the spell with his kiss,
and deal with Gretta's big,
scary enemies.
But that guy never showed up.
Instead--
Aaahhh!
[kiss]
--they got me.
Aahh!
♪
Ow!
♪
♪
[raven ruffling feathers]
[bike chain clicking]
Gretta: [sighs] Is this
Uncle Wally's house?
[door bursts open]
- Mr. Dale?
[raven cawing]
Mr. Dale: Ha!
There.
It thought it could hide.
[raven cawing]
Dwight: What-- Mr. Dale,
does this belong to you?
- What?
Yes, that's mine.
Gretta: Explain yourself, sir.
Dwight: Wh-- What she means
is do you know anything
about a big hole
in somebody's lawn
out on Oak Street?
Gretta: Or any
of the other holes
that have appeared
here recently?
- Holes?
Gretta: He has a guilty face.
Dwight: He does not.
Oh, wow, yeah, he's guilty.
- Get inside.
[raven cawing]
Hurry!
[raven cawing]
[door closes]
Mr. Dale: I've been
digging holes.
That explains it.
Dwight: It does?
Gretta: So, it was you?
Mr. Dale: It must have been.
[raven cawing]
Gretta: And what
of your cohort?
- My what?
Gretta: Two shovels
means two culprits.
- Listen to me.
I don't know what I do at night.
From sundown to sunrise, it--
it's, uh, blank.
- Well, how long
has this been going on?
Mr. Dale: Months.
I come to at sunup,
usually covered in dirt.
- Any idea why?
- I know why.
I'm cursed.
Whatever was in that box...
- What box?
Mr. Dale: The one I found
at the dig.
I brought it back to the office,
I opened it...
- What was in the box?
- I don't remember
anything else about that night.
Or any other night since.
Hexela: [sighs]
It's him, Baldric.
Sir Aldred.
- How do we find him?
Hexela: [sighs]
A safeguard spell.
Baldric: Hm?
Hexela: It was designed
to allow a witch to keep tabs
on a loved one.
- Loved one?
- Yes!
I can use it to find Sir Aldred.
[pages ruffling]
- You can?
- Ah! Here it is.
I'll need a scarf
and a large bowl.
Baldric: What exactly is there
between you and Sir Aldred?
- Oh!
Pppfffftt.
[laughing] Not a thing!
[Hexela snorts]
"Fill the bowl with water
while recalling a favorite
memory of your loved one."
Hm.
Okay, let's see here.
[water pouring]
Oh!
[laughing quietly]
Awww.
Aww.
Ah, ah.
Next step.
"Place in the water something
your loved one gave you."
[gasps] Ah!
Baldric: You're wear--
- I don't even like them.
[plink]
Dwight: So, you wake up
every morning
covered in dirt.
- Usually with a shovel.
[door opens]
[shovels clatter
to the floor]
Mr. Dale: See?
Oh, wait.
I found something this morning
in my pocket.
Dwight: Any idea
where this came from?
Gretta: Two hundred and five.
- It came from there.
[ominous music]
[indistinct chatter]
Dwight: We should not
be in here.
- I see no sign
of Hellibad.
- Dude sees us,
we're going to be
singing the news
and mopping the floors
for the rest of our lives.
Thug: Hey, mate.
Where you been hiding out?
- Me?
Thug: Ah, hey,
pint for my friend.
- Your usual?
[clinking]
Dwight: You come here a lot?
- I, uh...
Jacopo: Ah, sig-- signore!
Signore!
Ah!
Your favorite table is ready.
[signals loudly to workers]
Woman: Ahh!
Jacopo: Not a problem, sir.
It's perfect--
Principessa.
Champion boy.
You are with him?
He is with you?
You are all together
with each other?
Mr. Dale: Oh, well, uh, yeah.
A table for three, please.
- Certamente.
[claps hands]
[thud]
[patrons laugh]
- Come this way.
Yes.
Follow me.
This table has been empty
all night.
No, not for you.
Hold on there.
Dwight: Jacopo!
Wow, look at you,
moving up to management.
Jacopo: Si.
I have been most fortunate.
I am deeply grateful.
- Have you seen Hellibad
anywhere about?
Hellibad the Parrot:
[squawks loudly]
Tabs are due, tabs are due.
[squawks]
Jacopo: Signore Hellibad
has gone away.
- He has?
- Yes.
He grew tired of the tavern life
and met a woman,
large and beautiful,
a shoemaker
with a shop far away.
And he has gone there
to marry her
and make shoes and babies
and live happily forevermore.
- Okay, good for him.
- I am now the keeper
of this tavern.
Man: Your Pineapple Shasta,
good sir.
Jacopo: Go! Get--go!
Your dinner is being prepared,
signore,
exactly as you like it.
And for the honored guests.
- Oh, just water for me.
- The very same.
- Immediatamente.
[thud, thud]
- Looks like "nighttime you"
comes here a lot.
Gretta: And commands
great respect.
- I don't remember
ever setting foot
in this place before.
- Well, you don't remember
digging 73 holes
all over Woodside either.
- [sighs] That many?
- Probably more.
- Your pastry,
stuffed with succulent herring
and drizzled liberally
with the apricot sauce
you so much enjoy.
Buon appetito.
Yes, please enjoy.
- Look at its little eyeballs.
- [groans]
I'm gonna be sick.
Gretta: Not on the pie.
Baldric: Are those diamonds
real?
- It's hard to say.
Let's move on, hm?
Okay, oh, "Whisper into the bowl
a secret your loved one
has confided in no one but you."
Hm.
Oh.
[whispering inaudibly]
Hm.
[whispering inaudibly]
[eating sounds]
- [slight gag]
- Mm.
[phone buzzing]
Dwight: Hey, Zeke.
- [with mouth full]
Hi, Zeke.
Dwight: Did you get the picture?
Zeke: Uh, dude,
I'm at the Lakeview Café.
This is nuts.
[laughter]
Gretta: [spits water out]
Dwight: Eww.
Gretta: Hide!
[poof]
[water dripping]
[snaps scarf]
Hexela: Read me the next step,
Baldric.
Baldric: "Once the blindfold
is secure,
[light clearing of throat]
hold something that belongs
to your loved one."
- Ah, yes.
Behind me to the right,
in the cabinet,
second drawer in the back.
Baldric: Hm.
[opens drawer]
- I see a quill,
a rat skin,
and a little heart-shaped box.
- The box.
[click]
♪
- It's a sock.
- Yeah, that's it.
- W-Why do you have
Sir Aldred's sock?
- It's unimportant now, Baldric.
- In-- in a special heart box.
- Give me the sock, Baldric!
Baldric: There.
[grunts]
"Imagine the future
you will share
with your loved one."
- Now what?
Baldric: "Follow these steps
and you will see
"through the eyes
of your loved one
for exactly 30 beats
of your heart."
♪
[whispering sounds]
- Is it working?
- Oh! Shh!
[ominous music]
[boots click on the floor]
[door squeaks open]
- Who is that guy?
Dwight: Sir Aldred.
Gretta: A Tovenaar.
Dwight: Which is like
a scary, undead, mega-wizard.
- You're kidding.
Dwight: I'm really not.
[intense music]
- I see...
[boots clicking]
[lock clicking]
[safe door swings open]
[creaking
and mechanical clicking]
[clanging]
[heart beating]
- [breathless]
Oh, Baldric!
[breathing heavily]
[indistinct chatter]
- He's gone below.
Let's after him!
Dwight: No, let's-- let's not.
The last time we went up
against this guy,
he almost killed us
with that Hopak dance.
- What!?
Dwight: The only reason
we're still alive
is 'cause he turned himself
into a puddle.
Tell you later.
[pulls sword out of sheath]
- We shan't
confront him openly.
- Darn right, we shan't.
- We shall use stealth
and learn what the villain
is about.
Surreptitiously.
- Wait.
What are we doing?
Dwight: We're gonna be
super sneaky
and spy on the guy
in the basement.
♪
[footsteps]
[footsteps]
[footsteps]
- It's a cypher lock.
We're foiled.
Mr. Dale: What's a cypher lock?
- A lock
that may only be opened
by moving the various components
of the mechanism
in the correct order, direction,
and distance.
- I see the bad guys
put their logo on it.
- The emblem
of the Tovenaars.
[phone buzzing]
Dwight: Hey, Zeke.
- I'm looking
at another hole.
Woodside Park, uh,
next to the monkey bars.
- So weird.
Zeke: I'll text you pictures.
[camera shutter]
It-- it's getting dark out here.
Uh, I'm gonna have to come back.
Dwight: Dude,
can I call you back?
[crash]
Baldric: What did you see?
- The end of the world.
- [softly] Oh.
- He has the bones, Baldric.
Baldric: How many?
- All but one.
[keys jingle]
[turns key in lock]
[door creaks open]
♪
♪
Sir Aldred: The fourth
proximal phalanx.
- What?
- On your right foot.
- Just one little bone.
- [chuckles]
Did you know
that one in a thousand babies
is born with an extra toe?
Science is fascinating.
- [sighs]
What makes
this one different?
Sir Aldred: Ah,
it's the smallest
of the proximal phalanges.
One of the most commonly
broken bones in the foot.
Mr. Dale: [exasperated sigh]
I mean, why can't we find
the confounded thing?
- That's the obvious
question, Herfenfrefen.
And the answer is, as I fear,
as obvious.
- Not obvious to me.
Sir Aldred: The bone is secured
in some protected place.
Hexela: The bones are searching
for one another.
They long to be reunited.
Find one Tovenaar bone,
it will lead you to the rest.
Baldric: But inside that coffer
it is safe?
Hexela: As safe as any place
on earth.
♪
Mr. Dale: Arrgghh!
Then we are undone!
[growling angrily]
[smack]
Oh-ho-ho!
[grunting in pain]
[growling angrily]
[smack]
Gah... gah...
- Why did you do that?
Twice?
- We'll never find it.
Sir Aldred: Fortune
favors the patient soul.
We're close.
Closer than ever.
First you, Herdenfluffer,
then we find all the rest.
Every one of our brothers.
Then I shall finally
have made amends.
- Come now, no one blames you
for the fall
of the brotherhood.
- I blame myself.
♪
- Sir Aldred
will tear this village apart
to find that bone,
and if he finds it--
- One Tovenaar
is threat enough, but two is--
- Officially
a brotherhood.
And they won't stop there,
Baldric.
They will find every dark realm
on this earth.
If it takes them
a million years,
they will bring up the bones
of all the Tovenaars.
- The dark times return.
- We have to stop him.
To the Swine and Slosh Tavern.
- Wait, I must call
Her Highness
and let her know
there's a kidney pie
in the icebox
and not to wait supper for me.
[dialing]
[phone ringing]
[phone buzzing]
[phone buzzing]
Mr. Dale: Hm.
I propose we eat their brains
and innards.
- What?
- No?
Oh fine.
- Do you know who that is?
Gretta of the House
of Moondragon,
the last heir of Osric the Grim.
- And the boy?
Sir Aldred: I forget.
You know how bad I am
with names.
Dilbert?
Dwayne?
It doesn't matter.
These two are no threat to us.
They may yet be of some use.
[phone continues to buzz]
♪
♪
♪
♪