Dwight in Shining Armor (2018–2021): Season 3, Episode 4 - Mirabel - full transcript
A ghost is haunting Princess Greta's planned Ball.
♪
Baldric: Look what I found
in a trunk of linens,
Your Highness.
[silence]
[soft gasp]
Dwight: Wow, fancy.
Baldric: Yes, indeed.
It's made of pure silk
by Gunhilde the Irritable.
The finest seamstress
of our time.
Gretta: A wasted life
for hundreds of silk worms,
I'm afraid.
Dwight: What do you mean?
Gretta: That dress was meant
for a very special occasion...
that never happened.
Baldric: [sigh]
Not for lack of trying.
Dwight: What occasion?
Baldric: Princess Gretta's
coming-of-age ball.
[echoing] coming-of-age ball,
coming-of-age ball,
coming-of-age ball,
coming-of-age ball.
Dwight: Well, that was freaky.
Exactly what is a...
a, you know.
Baldric:
Ah, it is a momentous event
where a noble youth
is presented at court.
Gretta: We have no time
for such frivolities
when our lives
are in constant peril.
Baldric: Now, Highness,
I know we're living
in barbaric times,
where common manners
have been cast aside,
but we mustn't abandon
our decorum.
You are a princess.
You must have your ball.
Gretta: But what if
another siege befalls us,
or we have to flee again?
Or one of my fellows
poisons the appetizers again
and all of my guests fall dead
on the dance floor?
Dwight: That happened?
Gretta: Mm.
No, Baldric, a ball
is simply not in my stars.
Dwight: Or maybe it is,
in your stars.
[tapping]
Here.
Baldric: Oh.
Gretta: The Sweetheart's Ball?
Dwight: Yeah, at Woodside High.
You can have your
coming-of-age thing there.
Baldric: [gasp] Oh.
Gretta: I suppose.
Dwight: Look,
and they still need volunteers
for the planning committee.
Baldric: Yes, yes,
there is much to plan.
Dwight: Sure.
Should I sign us up?
Gretta: Mm.
Baldric: Mm?
Gretta: All right.
Baldric: Ah-ha-ha-ha!
Oh!
Yes!
[laughs]
♪
Dwight: Okay,
so about a thousand years ago
there was this princess, Gretta.
And she was in big trouble
because she had lots of enemies
and not a lot of friends.
So her court magician, Baldric,
cast the champion spell.
It put everyone in the woods
to sleep
until a champion would come,
break the spell with his kiss
and deal with Gretta's big,
scary enemies.
But that guy never showed up.
Instead,
Ahh!
[thump]
[kiss]
they got me.
Ah!
♪
Ow!
♪
♪
♪
Baldric: Hm.
The hall looks adequate.
Chad:
Ah, you must be Mr. Baldric,
our parent party planner.
Dwight: Uh, yeah, Bal--
uh, M-Mr. Baldric,
this is Chad.
Baldric: Mm.
Chad: Well, uh, we are all here,
so let the first meeting
of the uh,
Sweetheart's Party Ball
Planning Committee begin.
Baldric: Here, here.
[clears throat]
Gretta: What, pray,
is a sweetheart's ball?
Baldric: I assume sweet hearts
will be served,
duck hearts perhaps.
Gretta: Or quail.
Baldric: Her Highness requests
that the sweet hearts be quail.
Dwight: Uh, you know what,
let's sidebar that conversation
for now and let's pick a theme.
Chad: Absolutely.
We're thinking 80s or disco,
under the sea...
Baldric: It must be
a proper royal ball.
Dwight: Yeah, that's cool,
right?
Like, like medieval times.
Baldric: With minstrels
and acrobats.
A spit with a roasting beast,
[gasp]
and barrels of mead.
Dwight: Or lemonade?
Chad: I got it, I got it.
Um, [clears throat]
Come one, come all
to Woodside's
Sweethearts Royal Ball.
Baldric: Oh, very nice,
Master Chad, very nice.
Gretta: Lovely.
Chad: All in favor?
Cool.
[rock music]
Baldric: All hands on deck!
♪
All right, here's the plan.
This is where the mead stall
will be,
over here we'll have
the weapons,
who has an ox we can use?
♪
Here's where we'll have
the roast beast.
♪
♪
♪
Dwight: So, I just talked
to the fire marshal
and that is a hard no
on the fire pit
and the torches and the--
Baldric: But, but
how shall we roast our venison
if we have no fire pit?
Dwight:
Well, the Swine and Slosh Tavern
can roast it on their premises
and bring it on kebabs.
Baldric: And how do we achieve
elegant ambience
without torches?
[chuckles with unbelief]
Dwight: Two thousand feet
of twinkle lights?
Baldric: Twinkle lights?
Gretta: What's amiss?
Baldric: Our plans
have been thwarted
by the Marshal of Fires.
Dwight: Oh, and he also nixed
the candlestick jumping and um--
Baldric: How could the man
object
to children leaping over flames?
[unbelieving scoff]
Dwight: Uhhhh...
Baldric: [scoffs again]
You did tell him
that this is Princess Gretta's
coming-of-age ball.
[wind whistles through]
Dwight: That was
a large gust of wind
that just blew through
this entirely windowless room.
Gretta: Very strange.
It seems any time anyone says--
Dwight: Don't say it.
Baldric: You're right, Highness.
Most peculiar.
Gretta: Shall we have to
cancel the ball again?
Baldric: Assuredly not.
I give you my word,
you shall have
your coming-of-age ball.
[wind whistles through]
Dwight: [coughs]
Can we agree
to stop saying that?
Baldric: [clears throat]
Master Chad!
Chad: Yes, Mr. Baldric?
Baldric: Come hither!
About the trapeze--
Dwight: Trapeze?
Baldric:
Yes, the man atop the trapeze
should fly right over
the fire breather,
but not so close
as to catch ablaze.
Gretta: We learned that lesson,
didn't we?
Baldric: Ha, yes.
Oh, yeah.
Dwight: No, no, no, no,
no fire breather.
Sorry.
Baldric: Wha?
Dwight: Fire Marshall.
Baldric: And how are we
to entertain the common folk
with a jester
who breathes no fire?
Hm?
Hm?
Dwight: The guys juggles,
that's cool, right?
Baldric: [sarcastic]
Oh, he juggles.
[laughs]
Juggles.
Chad: Yeah, Mr. Baldric,
we actually had to
nix the trapeze artist.
[ominous music]
Well the room just doesn't have
the proper rigging points.
Baldric: No trapeze?
Chad: Yeah, no.
Baldric: [incensed inhale]
Chad: And about
the dwarf acrobats--
Dwight: The what?
Baldric:
Wha, wha, what of them?!
Dwight: No, no, no, no, no,
emphatically no!
If you are going
to have acrobats,
then they are going to be
of random body type.
Baldric: Very well.
But it will hardly be a ball
without dwarves!
How goes the building
of the mead stall?
Dwight: No!
No mead!
[thunder and rain]
Gretta: To the right, kick.
To the left, kick.
Forward steps, [claps]
[giggles]
to the right, kick.
Dwight: And why
are we doing this, again?
Baldric: It's tradition.
The princess's first dance.
She chooses
her most loyal knight
to be her partner.
It is quite an honor,
Sir Dwight.
Dwight: Oh, okay.
Baldric: What do you think
of this one, Your Highness?
Gretta: Oh, it's a masterpiece.
Do you think
you can achieve it?
Baldric: I'll need practice,
hm, four hours, possibly five.
No more than six.
Dwight: Or you could just
go to the salon.
Gretta: But Baldric
has fashioned my hair
for every major event
of my life.
Dwight: Really?
Baldric: Mm.
Ah, ah.
This shall be my masterpiece.
Chad: Doors open
in 30 minutes.
Dwight: Perfect, let's ice
the lemonade barrels first.
Chad: Have you seen Mr. Baldric?
Dwight: I think
he's doing Gretta's hair.
Chad: Cool.
Baldric: Her Royal Highness,
Princess Gretta... the Besieged.
[soft music]
Gretta: Sir Dwight.
♪
♪ Everyone's got something. ♪
Dwight: Hey.
You look great.
♪ Something
no one else can do. ♪
Dwight: [clears throat]
Nice work, Baldric.
It's a masterpiece.
Baldric: Ah.
♪ Something
no one else can see. ♪
♪ And I want you. ♪
Baldric: Hm.
♪ I want you to know ♪
Dwight: [surprised groan]
♪
♪ all I have is you. ♪
♪ All I need is you. ♪
♪ All I want is you. ♪
Dwight: [gasp]
Gretta: I expected no less,
it's always something
with this ball.
[sigh of disbelief]
Baldric: I have a suspicion.
I shudder to say it.
Dwight: Just go for it,
I've probably never heard
whatever this is.
Baldric: A ghost.
Dwight: Hey!
I've heard of that.
Gretta: A ghost?
Baldric: With a grievance.
Chad: Ahhhhhhhh!
Baldric: Master Chad
makes an excellent point.
Gretta: It was not meant to be.
Come Baldric,
let us eat mint chip ice cream
until we forget
we ever wanted a ball.
Dwight: Guys, no,
it's gonna be okay.
Chad: How do you figure?
Dwight: Well, I admit it's,
it's a setback,
but we have time.
Chad: Twenty-five minutes.
Dwight: Determination.
Gretta: Why did we even try?
Dwight: And the keys
to the janitor's closet.
Chad: I got this.
Dwight: You said that the ghost
had a grievance, right?
Baldric: Mm.
Dwight: So why not ask it?
Gretta: Ask it what?
Dwight: Why it's got a beef with
the Woodside Sweetheart's Ball.
Baldric: [scoffs]
Dwight: Uh, pardon me,
Mr. or Mrs. Ghost.
[loud pop]
Dwight: Ah!
We're not going to hurt you.
We want to help.
You're safe here.
What's your name?
Gretta: Look!
[whoosh]
Dwight: Mirabel.
[whoosh]
Mirabel: [deep inhale]
[heavy breathing]
Everything will be perfect
this time.
[angrily]
Perfect, perfect, perfect!
Dwight: 'Kay.
Mirabel: There must be venison,
and fire breathers and dwarves
and barrels of mead.
[angry sigh]
Baldric: [low]
Sounds like a proper ball.
Dwight: Guys.
The ghost can touch things.
Baldric:
If a ghost is intent enough,
they can indeed
take tangible form.
Dwight:
What's she so intent about?
Baldric: Uh [raspberry]
Dwight: What do you think,
Gretta?
[thump]
Mirabel: [blood-curdling scream]
[smack]
Gretta: Ow!
Mirabel: Gretta?
No, this night is mine.
Dwight: You okay, Gretta?
Mirabel: [screams]
[slap]
Mirabel: No Gretta, not tonight.
I must practice my dance.
Sir Isenbert.
Dwight: Uh, uh.
Baldric: [encouraging noises]
Dwight: Ah!
Mirabel: I fear
I will not be ready in time.
I must practice.
Dwight: [loud whisper] Baldric!
Any ideas?
Gretta!
[slap]
Gretta: Stop saying my name,
every time you say my name
I get slapped in the face!
Mirabel: This time
Gretta will not be born.
She will not be.
Nothing wrong, this time.
Baldric: [sigh]
Dwight: So, yeah,
she's got a personal grievance.
Gretta: But why?
I don't even know this Mirabel.
Dwight: Well, she knows you
and she wants you
not to be born.
Baldric: Most strange.
Dwight: Wait, maybe that's it.
The day that Gre--ahh--
our princess friend here
was born,
what do you remember
about that day?
Gretta: Very little.
Dwight: Not you.
Baldric, what do you remember
about that day?
Baldric: Uh, I was in Eskitoff
at the home of the
king's second cousin, Adelric.
He was giving...
a ball... for his daughter.
Dwight: And that's
where you heard the news
that Gretta had been born.
[spitting]
[slapping]
Gretta: [gasps of pain]
[frustrated noise]
Dwight: My bad.
Baldric: At the ball is where
everyone heard the news.
We drank to the health
of the new princess
then we went to pay our respects
to the king and queen.
Dwight: Well, what about Adelric
and his daughter,
did they go to the castle?
Baldric: Yes, wait, no!
The girl died soon afterwards
in an accident in the woods.
Her carriage was overturned.
[soft clap]
Dwight: Hey, it's me again.
Uh, is your father around?
Adelric?
[soft clap]
Mirabel: He must be here
somewhere.
Dwight: Maybe he's gone
to the castle?
[clap]
Mirabel: No, no, no, no, no.
He mustn't!
I won't go in the woods!
I won't go into the carriage!
No!
[whoosh]
Dwight: Ah, ah.
[gasping]
[clears throat]
I think Mirabel died
the day you were born.
Baldric: She must have been
on her way from the ball
to the castle.
Gretta: It's tragic.
Why don't we give her
what she wants?
Baldric: What she wants
is for you
to have never been born.
Gretta: No, she wants the ball
she never got to have.
So, why don't we give it to her?
She shall have my ball.
Baldric: Your ball?
But, Highness.
Gretta: It is my royal gift
by royal decree.
[gentle music]
[quiet sobbing]
Dwight: Mirabel?
Mirabel: Sir Isenbert?
Dwight: Hey, yeah,
it's me again.
I've come to ask the honor
of escorting you to your ball.
Mirabel: Why, Sir Isenbert,
there's no one else
I would prefer to escort me.
Dwight: Great.
It starts in five minutes.
Mirabel: Five minutes!
But, nothing's ready.
[magical noises]
[wind]
[wind]
[wind]
Chad: It's time
to pull off a miracle.
Dwight, what?
Wh-How?
♪
♪ She's on fire. ♪
♪ A thousand degrees. ♪
♪ She's on fire. ♪
♪ I'm feeling the beat. ♪
♪ Like, oh! ♪
Baldric: The Honorable
Mirabel of Eskitoff.
♪ ...burn the place down. ♪
♪ She's on fire. ♪
♪ She's on fire. ♪
♪ She's on fire. ♪
♪ A thousand degrees. ♪
♪ She's on fire. ♪
♪ I'm feelin' the heat. ♪
♪ Like, oh. ♪
♪ Somebody put her out. ♪
♪ Like, oh. ♪
♪ She'll burn the place down. ♪
♪ She's on fire. ♪
♪ A thousand degrees. ♪
♪ She's on fire. ♪
♪ I'm feeling the heat. ♪
♪ Like, oh. ♪
♪ Somebody put her out. ♪
♪ Like, oh. ♪
♪ She'll burn this place down. ♪
♪ She's on fire. ♪
♪ She's on fire. ♪
♪ Fir-r-re ♪
Mirabel: The ball
draws to a close, I believe.
Dwight: Did you have fun?
I mean, the juggler was cool.
And the venison, was,
was a little gamey, but--
Mirabel: It was perfect.
Everything,
exactly what I've longed for,
for so many years.
Dwight: I'm sorry for what
happened to you, Mirabel.
It was sad.
It wasn't fair and I'm sorry.
So is Gretta.
I know she is.
Mirabel: What is your name?
Dwight: Dwight.
Mirabel: Thank you, Dwight.
♪
[whoosh]
Gretta: She's gone?
Dwight: You know, Gretta,
what you did tonight
was pretty awesome.
Gretta: I have done nothing
but stay out of sight.
Dwight: You know what I mean.
This was supposed to be
your night.
Gretta: This night
was meant for Mirabel all along.
How oddly fate conspires.
Baldric: Master Chad
has invited me
to be the parent party planner
for the Spring Fling.
Dwight: Oh, good for you.
Baldric: See Highness,
you will yet have
your coming-of-age ball.
Oh.
Ah, ha.
Chad: Ah, hey,
the jugglers knocked down
like 400 twinkle lights,
is there a way to fix that?
Dwight: Uh, don't panic.
We just have to start
a parallel strand.
Excuse me, sorry guys.
Gretta: [soft chuckle]
[whoosh]
[medieval music begins to play]
Baldric:
Highness, your first dance.
♪
Gretta: Would you care to dance,
Baldric?
[music continues]
♪
Baldric: Look what I found
in a trunk of linens,
Your Highness.
[silence]
[soft gasp]
Dwight: Wow, fancy.
Baldric: Yes, indeed.
It's made of pure silk
by Gunhilde the Irritable.
The finest seamstress
of our time.
Gretta: A wasted life
for hundreds of silk worms,
I'm afraid.
Dwight: What do you mean?
Gretta: That dress was meant
for a very special occasion...
that never happened.
Baldric: [sigh]
Not for lack of trying.
Dwight: What occasion?
Baldric: Princess Gretta's
coming-of-age ball.
[echoing] coming-of-age ball,
coming-of-age ball,
coming-of-age ball,
coming-of-age ball.
Dwight: Well, that was freaky.
Exactly what is a...
a, you know.
Baldric:
Ah, it is a momentous event
where a noble youth
is presented at court.
Gretta: We have no time
for such frivolities
when our lives
are in constant peril.
Baldric: Now, Highness,
I know we're living
in barbaric times,
where common manners
have been cast aside,
but we mustn't abandon
our decorum.
You are a princess.
You must have your ball.
Gretta: But what if
another siege befalls us,
or we have to flee again?
Or one of my fellows
poisons the appetizers again
and all of my guests fall dead
on the dance floor?
Dwight: That happened?
Gretta: Mm.
No, Baldric, a ball
is simply not in my stars.
Dwight: Or maybe it is,
in your stars.
[tapping]
Here.
Baldric: Oh.
Gretta: The Sweetheart's Ball?
Dwight: Yeah, at Woodside High.
You can have your
coming-of-age thing there.
Baldric: [gasp] Oh.
Gretta: I suppose.
Dwight: Look,
and they still need volunteers
for the planning committee.
Baldric: Yes, yes,
there is much to plan.
Dwight: Sure.
Should I sign us up?
Gretta: Mm.
Baldric: Mm?
Gretta: All right.
Baldric: Ah-ha-ha-ha!
Oh!
Yes!
[laughs]
♪
Dwight: Okay,
so about a thousand years ago
there was this princess, Gretta.
And she was in big trouble
because she had lots of enemies
and not a lot of friends.
So her court magician, Baldric,
cast the champion spell.
It put everyone in the woods
to sleep
until a champion would come,
break the spell with his kiss
and deal with Gretta's big,
scary enemies.
But that guy never showed up.
Instead,
Ahh!
[thump]
[kiss]
they got me.
Ah!
♪
Ow!
♪
♪
♪
Baldric: Hm.
The hall looks adequate.
Chad:
Ah, you must be Mr. Baldric,
our parent party planner.
Dwight: Uh, yeah, Bal--
uh, M-Mr. Baldric,
this is Chad.
Baldric: Mm.
Chad: Well, uh, we are all here,
so let the first meeting
of the uh,
Sweetheart's Party Ball
Planning Committee begin.
Baldric: Here, here.
[clears throat]
Gretta: What, pray,
is a sweetheart's ball?
Baldric: I assume sweet hearts
will be served,
duck hearts perhaps.
Gretta: Or quail.
Baldric: Her Highness requests
that the sweet hearts be quail.
Dwight: Uh, you know what,
let's sidebar that conversation
for now and let's pick a theme.
Chad: Absolutely.
We're thinking 80s or disco,
under the sea...
Baldric: It must be
a proper royal ball.
Dwight: Yeah, that's cool,
right?
Like, like medieval times.
Baldric: With minstrels
and acrobats.
A spit with a roasting beast,
[gasp]
and barrels of mead.
Dwight: Or lemonade?
Chad: I got it, I got it.
Um, [clears throat]
Come one, come all
to Woodside's
Sweethearts Royal Ball.
Baldric: Oh, very nice,
Master Chad, very nice.
Gretta: Lovely.
Chad: All in favor?
Cool.
[rock music]
Baldric: All hands on deck!
♪
All right, here's the plan.
This is where the mead stall
will be,
over here we'll have
the weapons,
who has an ox we can use?
♪
Here's where we'll have
the roast beast.
♪
♪
♪
Dwight: So, I just talked
to the fire marshal
and that is a hard no
on the fire pit
and the torches and the--
Baldric: But, but
how shall we roast our venison
if we have no fire pit?
Dwight:
Well, the Swine and Slosh Tavern
can roast it on their premises
and bring it on kebabs.
Baldric: And how do we achieve
elegant ambience
without torches?
[chuckles with unbelief]
Dwight: Two thousand feet
of twinkle lights?
Baldric: Twinkle lights?
Gretta: What's amiss?
Baldric: Our plans
have been thwarted
by the Marshal of Fires.
Dwight: Oh, and he also nixed
the candlestick jumping and um--
Baldric: How could the man
object
to children leaping over flames?
[unbelieving scoff]
Dwight: Uhhhh...
Baldric: [scoffs again]
You did tell him
that this is Princess Gretta's
coming-of-age ball.
[wind whistles through]
Dwight: That was
a large gust of wind
that just blew through
this entirely windowless room.
Gretta: Very strange.
It seems any time anyone says--
Dwight: Don't say it.
Baldric: You're right, Highness.
Most peculiar.
Gretta: Shall we have to
cancel the ball again?
Baldric: Assuredly not.
I give you my word,
you shall have
your coming-of-age ball.
[wind whistles through]
Dwight: [coughs]
Can we agree
to stop saying that?
Baldric: [clears throat]
Master Chad!
Chad: Yes, Mr. Baldric?
Baldric: Come hither!
About the trapeze--
Dwight: Trapeze?
Baldric:
Yes, the man atop the trapeze
should fly right over
the fire breather,
but not so close
as to catch ablaze.
Gretta: We learned that lesson,
didn't we?
Baldric: Ha, yes.
Oh, yeah.
Dwight: No, no, no, no,
no fire breather.
Sorry.
Baldric: Wha?
Dwight: Fire Marshall.
Baldric: And how are we
to entertain the common folk
with a jester
who breathes no fire?
Hm?
Hm?
Dwight: The guys juggles,
that's cool, right?
Baldric: [sarcastic]
Oh, he juggles.
[laughs]
Juggles.
Chad: Yeah, Mr. Baldric,
we actually had to
nix the trapeze artist.
[ominous music]
Well the room just doesn't have
the proper rigging points.
Baldric: No trapeze?
Chad: Yeah, no.
Baldric: [incensed inhale]
Chad: And about
the dwarf acrobats--
Dwight: The what?
Baldric:
Wha, wha, what of them?!
Dwight: No, no, no, no, no,
emphatically no!
If you are going
to have acrobats,
then they are going to be
of random body type.
Baldric: Very well.
But it will hardly be a ball
without dwarves!
How goes the building
of the mead stall?
Dwight: No!
No mead!
[thunder and rain]
Gretta: To the right, kick.
To the left, kick.
Forward steps, [claps]
[giggles]
to the right, kick.
Dwight: And why
are we doing this, again?
Baldric: It's tradition.
The princess's first dance.
She chooses
her most loyal knight
to be her partner.
It is quite an honor,
Sir Dwight.
Dwight: Oh, okay.
Baldric: What do you think
of this one, Your Highness?
Gretta: Oh, it's a masterpiece.
Do you think
you can achieve it?
Baldric: I'll need practice,
hm, four hours, possibly five.
No more than six.
Dwight: Or you could just
go to the salon.
Gretta: But Baldric
has fashioned my hair
for every major event
of my life.
Dwight: Really?
Baldric: Mm.
Ah, ah.
This shall be my masterpiece.
Chad: Doors open
in 30 minutes.
Dwight: Perfect, let's ice
the lemonade barrels first.
Chad: Have you seen Mr. Baldric?
Dwight: I think
he's doing Gretta's hair.
Chad: Cool.
Baldric: Her Royal Highness,
Princess Gretta... the Besieged.
[soft music]
Gretta: Sir Dwight.
♪
♪ Everyone's got something. ♪
Dwight: Hey.
You look great.
♪ Something
no one else can do. ♪
Dwight: [clears throat]
Nice work, Baldric.
It's a masterpiece.
Baldric: Ah.
♪ Something
no one else can see. ♪
♪ And I want you. ♪
Baldric: Hm.
♪ I want you to know ♪
Dwight: [surprised groan]
♪
♪ all I have is you. ♪
♪ All I need is you. ♪
♪ All I want is you. ♪
Dwight: [gasp]
Gretta: I expected no less,
it's always something
with this ball.
[sigh of disbelief]
Baldric: I have a suspicion.
I shudder to say it.
Dwight: Just go for it,
I've probably never heard
whatever this is.
Baldric: A ghost.
Dwight: Hey!
I've heard of that.
Gretta: A ghost?
Baldric: With a grievance.
Chad: Ahhhhhhhh!
Baldric: Master Chad
makes an excellent point.
Gretta: It was not meant to be.
Come Baldric,
let us eat mint chip ice cream
until we forget
we ever wanted a ball.
Dwight: Guys, no,
it's gonna be okay.
Chad: How do you figure?
Dwight: Well, I admit it's,
it's a setback,
but we have time.
Chad: Twenty-five minutes.
Dwight: Determination.
Gretta: Why did we even try?
Dwight: And the keys
to the janitor's closet.
Chad: I got this.
Dwight: You said that the ghost
had a grievance, right?
Baldric: Mm.
Dwight: So why not ask it?
Gretta: Ask it what?
Dwight: Why it's got a beef with
the Woodside Sweetheart's Ball.
Baldric: [scoffs]
Dwight: Uh, pardon me,
Mr. or Mrs. Ghost.
[loud pop]
Dwight: Ah!
We're not going to hurt you.
We want to help.
You're safe here.
What's your name?
Gretta: Look!
[whoosh]
Dwight: Mirabel.
[whoosh]
Mirabel: [deep inhale]
[heavy breathing]
Everything will be perfect
this time.
[angrily]
Perfect, perfect, perfect!
Dwight: 'Kay.
Mirabel: There must be venison,
and fire breathers and dwarves
and barrels of mead.
[angry sigh]
Baldric: [low]
Sounds like a proper ball.
Dwight: Guys.
The ghost can touch things.
Baldric:
If a ghost is intent enough,
they can indeed
take tangible form.
Dwight:
What's she so intent about?
Baldric: Uh [raspberry]
Dwight: What do you think,
Gretta?
[thump]
Mirabel: [blood-curdling scream]
[smack]
Gretta: Ow!
Mirabel: Gretta?
No, this night is mine.
Dwight: You okay, Gretta?
Mirabel: [screams]
[slap]
Mirabel: No Gretta, not tonight.
I must practice my dance.
Sir Isenbert.
Dwight: Uh, uh.
Baldric: [encouraging noises]
Dwight: Ah!
Mirabel: I fear
I will not be ready in time.
I must practice.
Dwight: [loud whisper] Baldric!
Any ideas?
Gretta!
[slap]
Gretta: Stop saying my name,
every time you say my name
I get slapped in the face!
Mirabel: This time
Gretta will not be born.
She will not be.
Nothing wrong, this time.
Baldric: [sigh]
Dwight: So, yeah,
she's got a personal grievance.
Gretta: But why?
I don't even know this Mirabel.
Dwight: Well, she knows you
and she wants you
not to be born.
Baldric: Most strange.
Dwight: Wait, maybe that's it.
The day that Gre--ahh--
our princess friend here
was born,
what do you remember
about that day?
Gretta: Very little.
Dwight: Not you.
Baldric, what do you remember
about that day?
Baldric: Uh, I was in Eskitoff
at the home of the
king's second cousin, Adelric.
He was giving...
a ball... for his daughter.
Dwight: And that's
where you heard the news
that Gretta had been born.
[spitting]
[slapping]
Gretta: [gasps of pain]
[frustrated noise]
Dwight: My bad.
Baldric: At the ball is where
everyone heard the news.
We drank to the health
of the new princess
then we went to pay our respects
to the king and queen.
Dwight: Well, what about Adelric
and his daughter,
did they go to the castle?
Baldric: Yes, wait, no!
The girl died soon afterwards
in an accident in the woods.
Her carriage was overturned.
[soft clap]
Dwight: Hey, it's me again.
Uh, is your father around?
Adelric?
[soft clap]
Mirabel: He must be here
somewhere.
Dwight: Maybe he's gone
to the castle?
[clap]
Mirabel: No, no, no, no, no.
He mustn't!
I won't go in the woods!
I won't go into the carriage!
No!
[whoosh]
Dwight: Ah, ah.
[gasping]
[clears throat]
I think Mirabel died
the day you were born.
Baldric: She must have been
on her way from the ball
to the castle.
Gretta: It's tragic.
Why don't we give her
what she wants?
Baldric: What she wants
is for you
to have never been born.
Gretta: No, she wants the ball
she never got to have.
So, why don't we give it to her?
She shall have my ball.
Baldric: Your ball?
But, Highness.
Gretta: It is my royal gift
by royal decree.
[gentle music]
[quiet sobbing]
Dwight: Mirabel?
Mirabel: Sir Isenbert?
Dwight: Hey, yeah,
it's me again.
I've come to ask the honor
of escorting you to your ball.
Mirabel: Why, Sir Isenbert,
there's no one else
I would prefer to escort me.
Dwight: Great.
It starts in five minutes.
Mirabel: Five minutes!
But, nothing's ready.
[magical noises]
[wind]
[wind]
[wind]
Chad: It's time
to pull off a miracle.
Dwight, what?
Wh-How?
♪
♪ She's on fire. ♪
♪ A thousand degrees. ♪
♪ She's on fire. ♪
♪ I'm feeling the beat. ♪
♪ Like, oh! ♪
Baldric: The Honorable
Mirabel of Eskitoff.
♪ ...burn the place down. ♪
♪ She's on fire. ♪
♪ She's on fire. ♪
♪ She's on fire. ♪
♪ A thousand degrees. ♪
♪ She's on fire. ♪
♪ I'm feelin' the heat. ♪
♪ Like, oh. ♪
♪ Somebody put her out. ♪
♪ Like, oh. ♪
♪ She'll burn the place down. ♪
♪ She's on fire. ♪
♪ A thousand degrees. ♪
♪ She's on fire. ♪
♪ I'm feeling the heat. ♪
♪ Like, oh. ♪
♪ Somebody put her out. ♪
♪ Like, oh. ♪
♪ She'll burn this place down. ♪
♪ She's on fire. ♪
♪ She's on fire. ♪
♪ Fir-r-re ♪
Mirabel: The ball
draws to a close, I believe.
Dwight: Did you have fun?
I mean, the juggler was cool.
And the venison, was,
was a little gamey, but--
Mirabel: It was perfect.
Everything,
exactly what I've longed for,
for so many years.
Dwight: I'm sorry for what
happened to you, Mirabel.
It was sad.
It wasn't fair and I'm sorry.
So is Gretta.
I know she is.
Mirabel: What is your name?
Dwight: Dwight.
Mirabel: Thank you, Dwight.
♪
[whoosh]
Gretta: She's gone?
Dwight: You know, Gretta,
what you did tonight
was pretty awesome.
Gretta: I have done nothing
but stay out of sight.
Dwight: You know what I mean.
This was supposed to be
your night.
Gretta: This night
was meant for Mirabel all along.
How oddly fate conspires.
Baldric: Master Chad
has invited me
to be the parent party planner
for the Spring Fling.
Dwight: Oh, good for you.
Baldric: See Highness,
you will yet have
your coming-of-age ball.
Oh.
Ah, ha.
Chad: Ah, hey,
the jugglers knocked down
like 400 twinkle lights,
is there a way to fix that?
Dwight: Uh, don't panic.
We just have to start
a parallel strand.
Excuse me, sorry guys.
Gretta: [soft chuckle]
[whoosh]
[medieval music begins to play]
Baldric:
Highness, your first dance.
♪
Gretta: Would you care to dance,
Baldric?
[music continues]
♪