Dwight in Shining Armor (2018–2021): Season 1, Episode 10 - Champion Do-Over Pt. 1 - full transcript
While Dwight and Baldric plan how to rescue Princess Gretta from the ogre her abducted her, Sir Aldred leaps to the rescue. Now, it appears he may be the intended champion, and Dwight may be replaced.
[birds calling]
- Any sign of her?
Dwight: Just
the gnarly grey guy.
[boiling]
I see her!
[grunts]
[breathing through her nose]
- She lives.
Oh!
[quacking]
[bocking]
- What's with the chicken
and the duck?
- I believe the princess,
the chicken and the duck
are ingredients
in an ogre delicacy.
- Wah-ha!
- That's an ogre?
[fly buzzing]
[bang]
[ogre growls]
[sniffs deeply]
Oh!
[growls]
- As I feared, prinducken.
A chicken stuffed in a duck
stuffed in a princess.
[sniffing deeply
then whimpering]
Baldric: What's your plan?
- It- it- it's still
taking shape.
A lot of the details
aren't filled in,
but it starts
with a diversion.
- Good, good!
- So, um, you run that way
screaming your head off
and waving your arms
like you're being attacked
by killer bees.
- And then?
- Then we assess our options.
[galloping hooves
and horse neighing]
[trumpet sounds]
- Ah!
- Sir Aldred!
- Ah!
[clanging metal]
[grunting]
- Ah!!!
[grunts continue]
- Oh!
- Easy now.
That's it.
- Oh, oh!
[ogre choking sounds]
[thump]
[metalic ringing]
- [muffled] Ha.
[grunting]
- I'm coming Your Highness.
This, uh, here we are.
[bocking]
- Oh, are you all right?
- Indeed.
- Who are you?
Uh, I mean to say,
we have not had the pleasure,
good sir knight.
- Sir Aldred of Westfold
at your service.
- Well met,
Sir Aldred of Westfold.
It is your honor
to have given aid
to Princess Gretta the Besiege.
- Your Highness.
- These two little guys
are okay.
Gretta: Rise, Sir Aldred.
I am in your debt.
Baldric: Let us away,
the woods grow dark
and treacherous.
- When I learned
of your plight princess,
of the siege
upon your castle,
I came with all due speed
to aid your cause.
Alas, I became lost in the woods
and to my shame
I was overcome by a strange
and powerful sleep.
- The champion spell.
- Pardon?
- The spell that saved us
from the siege.
It put everyone in the forest
to sleep.
- Ingenious.
- Yes, and no.
I'm afraid we all overslept.
Baldric: A thousand years passd
until a champion came
to break the spell.
- What champion?
- Sir Dwight of Woodside.
Baldric: Ah, hm.
Oh, oh, oh.
- Hey man.
Nice horse.
- Your page boy?
[laughing]
- What's a page boy?
[Renaissance rock]
Dwight: Okay, so about
a thousand years ago
there was this princess, Grett.
And she was in big trouble
because she had lots of enemies
and not a lot of friends.
So her court magician,
Baldric cast the champion spel.
It put everyone in the woods
to sleep
until a champion would come,
break the spell with his kiss
and deal with Gretta's
big, scary enemies.
But that guy never showed up,
instead...
Ahhh!
[kissing noise]
they got me.
Ah!
♪
♪
[celebratory sounds]
- Come Sir Dwight,
raise a tankard with us.
- No, thanks,
that stuff will take
the enamel off your teeth.
- Ah, strong spirits.
- Orange soda.
- Go on Sir Aldred,
how did you escape
the goblin lair?
- By brute force, naturally.
Baldric and Gretta:
Naturally.
[they laugh]
Gretta: Is that how you came
about this scar?
- No, Highness,
this was given me by a howler
some years ago.
- Oh.
- Did you say a howler?
- I did.
- What's a howler?
[thud]
Gretta: This was given to me
by a howler during the siege
of our cliffside fortress.
- What, what's a howler?
- Vicious beasts, those howlers.
- We had to remove the fangs
with flaming hot pincers.
- What's a howler?
Baldric: [harshly]
It's a creature
that cannot be described,
Sir Dwight.
It's, it's like a massive...
- Rabid dog.
- But with no fur...
- Fetch me pen and ink.
[duck and chicken noises]
[clearing throats]
[clearing throat]
[click]
- You're all set.
Baldric: Ooo, ho, ho, ho.
♪
- You can draw too.
- Astonishing likeness,
Sir Aldred.
Gretta: Remarkable.
- So, who's hungry?
- Famished.
- Sir Dwight has prepared
a feast for us of uh, uh...
- Tofu, cashew, lettuce wraps.
They're super healthy.
All: Mm.
- Hey, old fellows.
[door shuts loudly]
Friend or foe?
- Friend, Chlodwig.
Baldric: This is Sir Aldred
of Westfold.
Sir Aldred,
Prince Chlodwig the Unstable.
- Westfold, eh?
I spent my summers there
as a lad.
Did you train
with Sir Guntrall?
- Uh...
- Red beard, one eye,
eight fingers?
[as Guntrall]
Learn to love the sight
of your own blood, my lads.
- Ah, I believe he was after my
time, Your Highness.
- Lucky you.
Sir Aldred, Sir Aldred,
I know that name.
- Well, my deeds have been
heralded across kingdoms
in word and song.
Gretta: If not for Sir Aldred
I would be cooking
in an ogre's oven,
stuffed with yon chicken
and duck.
- Prinducken, eh?
They've taken a liking
to Sir Dwight.
- Yeah, watch this.
[gentle quacking]
They think I'm their mom.
All: Hm.
♪ [indistinct] ♪
♪ hey nonny, nonny. ♪
♪ I like my skin well turned
to crust. ♪
♪ Hey nonny, nonny. ♪
♪ When in my grave
deep underground, ♪
♪ the rats and spiders
run around. ♪
♪ Hey nonny, nonny. ♪
♪ Hey nonny, nonny. ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey. ♪
♪ Nonny, nonny. ♪
[laughing]
- A rousing ditty,
well-played, Sir Aldred,
well-played.
- And he's musical.
- Well sung, all.
- Let's sing it again.
- Let's not!
Okay, so we are all set up
for s'mores,
so this is a marshmallow
and...
you ate them.
You guys didn't
let me finish.
What you want to do,
is toast them over the fire.
- Oh.
- Oh, I made a double one
for Chlodwig,
is he coming?
- He said something
about a pressing engagement.
- Really?
Man, he was excited,
I could barely keep him out
of the marshmallows.
- Mine is ablaze.
- Oh, just shake it off,
I'll get you another.
Okay.
What you want is
a nice even toast.
- Tell me, Sir Dwight.
By what valorous deeds
were you made
Princess Gretta's champion?
- Oh, I fell in a hole.
And I landed on her
and woke her up.
- Pardon?
- And you kissed me.
- Not on purpose.
- He doesn't like
to admit it.
Aldred: Ah, a binding spell.
Sir Dwight's fate is bound
to Princess Gretta's
by that kiss.
- Exactly.
- Yours is done.
Now for the graham crackers
and chocolate.
- Ah. Not bad.
- It feels like it needs
something more.
I have it.
What if we took these toasted
white confections
and placed them in between
the crackers and the chocolate.
Baldric: Oh.
- Brilliant.
- Ha.
Baldric: Oh.
- Enjoy.
Aldred: Now, princess,
I see your predicament.
- What predicament?
- But the solution is
as plain.
- What solution?
- You are a genius, Sir Aldre!
Mm.
[chuckles]
- An unbinding spell, princess.
It would loose Sir Dwight
from his obligation
as your champion.
- What?
- How?
- It requires that another
take Sir Dwight's place.
[scoffs]
- Who?
- Do not mistake me,
Sir Dwight has performed
his office with honor,
now surely if you should
require your champion
to nurture your chickens
and ducks
or prepare medicinal plants.
- Those were lettuce wraps.
- Then Sir Dwight
is your man.
But, for all else, Highness,
I offer myself
as your champion,
if it so please you.
♪
Dwight: Hey Nana.
Nana: Is that you, sweetie?
- Yeah.
- Hexela's taking ten years
off my face.
- Though it will add ten years
to the bottoms of your feet.
- A price I'm willing to pay.
- Mm.
Dwight: So, there's this
new guy.
- Oh?
- Sir Aldred of Westfold.
- Sounds like a fancy pants.
Hexela: Sir Aldred,
where have I heard that name?
- Probably in some epic song.
He beat up an ogre
all by himself.
He fights hairless dogs.
- Like chihuahuas?
- Yeah, only a lot bigger
and meaner.
And he draws,
and he plays the lyre,
and he has a horse.
- Huh, an unusually accomplished
young man.
- Yup.
And, he wants to be
Gretta's champion.
- No kidding.
- How?
- Some kind of
champion do-over spell.
That will make him
the champion
and will let me off the hook.
- Wow.
- Yeah, right?
Isn't that great?
And to just not have to worry
about what crazy
is gonna come out
of the woods next?
- Boy, yeah.
- To not be dragged
into every gothic showdown.
- Mm.
- To not be the go-to guy
when some medieval loon
has a grievance.
- Absolutely.
[Hexela clears her throat]
- And to seal the spell,
the-the treatment.
Please touch
your fingertips together
and hold them over your heart.
- Oh.
- What the heck?
[shaking]
- What is that stuff?
- Don't worry about it.
Ah!
All done, honey.
I'm just gonna dust this off.
- Oh.
And what does Gretta think?
- Oh, well, of course
she wants Sir Aldred.
- She said so?
- N-n-no,
but it's obviously obvious
that he's the right guy.
He's like 22 and ripped.
- Hm.
You know better than anyone
that there is more to the
champion job than muscles.
- And sick combat skills?
- Okay.
- And a horse.
- Stop.
I didn't get you a horse
when you were kid
because
of our zoning regulations.
- I know.
- So, you don't have a horse,
or knight skills,
or ripply muscles.
He couldn't do a pull-up
for the President's Physical
Fitness Test,
he couldn't even bend
his elbows.
- It wasn't actually
a requirement.
- Exactly.
That's my point.
- Um, um I'm not following.
- Dwight, honey.
Think of everything
you've done
since you first
woke that girl up.
You didn't ask
for this champion job.
- That's true.
- But you're gettin' it done,
your way.
Horse, or no horse.
- Mm, hm, hm.
[gasp]
- [gasp] You're
a miracle worker.
[crickets chirping
and an owl hooting]
- Anything amiss,
Your Highness?
- All is well.
- [sighs]
- Sir Aldred is
a noble knight.
- He is.
- He's brave, and stalwart.
He's a very skilled swordsman.
- Indeed.
- Think of it, Baldric.
If he had arrived
in the woods a day sooner,
he might have saved us
from the siege.
- Or, if he had arrived
in the woods, a day later,
he might have been the one
to wake you.
- How oddly fate conspires.
[chuckles]
- Sir Dwight doesn't know a
broadsword from a bludgeon.
- 'Tis true.
- I go to bed every night amazd
that he has survived
another day.
- Mm.
- And yet--
- Princess?
- I have known many warriors,
Baldric.
Many have spoken brave words,
then have left me
when brave deeds were needed,
but Dwight,
he has never failed me.
[Aldred singing nonny, nonny]
[splash]
- Hey man.
- Sir Dwight!
Good morrow.
- Is that my?
- Pardon?
- It's all yours.
- Sir Aldred,
breakfast is ready within.
- Right-o.
- I've been thinking.
- As have I.
- You go first.
- No, continue.
- Okay.
Uh, I guess
what I've been thinking is,
that the two of us,
we don't make a lot of sense,
really.
I mean,
you're a gothic warrior princes
from a thousand years ago
and I'm, well,
none of those things.
But--
- Yes?
- It's kinda working.
At least we've done
all right so far.
- Indeed we have.
- So, like Nana says,
if it ain't broke...
- What?
- Don't fix it.
- Ah, I see.
We shan't fix what ain't...
broke.
- Whatever happens,
we'll just handle it.
[roaring]
- Oh, man.
- Ah!
- Gretta!
[thud]
- Sir Aldred!!!
- Princess!
- Take cover!
[roaring]
[grunting
and metal clanging]
- That was
my grandmother's sword.
[continued fighting sounds]
- What courage.
- Turns out we're not working
as well as I thought we were
five minutes ago.
- Five minutes ago,
we were idiots!
- What skill.
- It's not you, it's not me.
It's just reality.
The sooner we face it,
the longer we'll live.
- Agreed.
[crash]
[high-pitched battle cry]
- What valor.
- The fact is,
you've got a lot of enemies,
big, scary, mean-looking,
hairy enemies.
That's the guy for the job,
we're looking at him.
[grunting]
- He is a sight to behold.
- Premium champion material.
[grunting]
[screaming]
- It's not like I won't still
be here if you need me.
I think you know
I'm always here to help.
- Most gallant of you.
- Oh.
- Oh, you know,
and we're neighbors,
and I'll see you at school.
- Ah.
Sir Aldred!
[breaking glass]
[thud]
[panting]
- Magnificent!
[thud]
- So, we've been thinking
about your offer.
- Sir Aldred of Westfold,
you are the champion
of my choice.
[sombre music]
♪
- The spell requires only a few
of your personal accoutrements.
- My what?
- A tear drop.
- Okay.
- A stream of spittle,
- Ew.
- and a drop of blood.
- Uh.
- Allow me.
[thud]
- Ah! That hurt.
Uh, that hurt.
- Blood, spittle, tears.
- Hey!
- Let us be off!
- All is ready.
I did not expect you to
survive a fortnight, Sir Dwight.
- [pained grunt]
[laughs]
Thanks big guy.
- You're certain you know
the way to your hidden castl?
- Of course.
- And the secret chamber
where good Baldric cast
the champion spell?
- I could find it
with my eyes closed.
- Then lead on, Highness.
- One moment.
- We shall return tomorrow.
- Great! Have fun!
New sword?
- It was my grandmother's.
- Oh, I thought the other one
was your grandmother's.
- She had a lot of swords.
- Cool.
- Things won't be exactly
as they have been.
- Everything happens
for a reason.
Sir Aldred showing up
when he did?
It was, it was meant to be.
We'll still be friends.
- Friends.
- Good luck, Gretta.
- Thank you, Dwight.
♪
♪
[clopping hooves]
[birds chirping]
[banging]
- Ah!
Ah!
- [muffled yelling]
- Chlodwig?
- Ah!
Where is the villain?
- What villain?
What happened?
- Sir Aldred of Westfold.
If he even is of Westfold,
which I'm beginning to doubt.
- What?
- The knave struck me a blow
to the head
and a second to the nose.
I see he did you
the same indignity.
- Yeah, actually.
- Did he also swab
your blood, spittle and tears?
- For the do-over spell,
he said, but why would he?
Chlodwig?
Who is this guy?
Hexela: The devil himself.
Where is the princess?
- Well, she went back with him.
- And Baldric?
To the woods and quickly!
There's no time to lose.
[Rock Renaissance music]
♪
- Any sign of her?
Dwight: Just
the gnarly grey guy.
[boiling]
I see her!
[grunts]
[breathing through her nose]
- She lives.
Oh!
[quacking]
[bocking]
- What's with the chicken
and the duck?
- I believe the princess,
the chicken and the duck
are ingredients
in an ogre delicacy.
- Wah-ha!
- That's an ogre?
[fly buzzing]
[bang]
[ogre growls]
[sniffs deeply]
Oh!
[growls]
- As I feared, prinducken.
A chicken stuffed in a duck
stuffed in a princess.
[sniffing deeply
then whimpering]
Baldric: What's your plan?
- It- it- it's still
taking shape.
A lot of the details
aren't filled in,
but it starts
with a diversion.
- Good, good!
- So, um, you run that way
screaming your head off
and waving your arms
like you're being attacked
by killer bees.
- And then?
- Then we assess our options.
[galloping hooves
and horse neighing]
[trumpet sounds]
- Ah!
- Sir Aldred!
- Ah!
[clanging metal]
[grunting]
- Ah!!!
[grunts continue]
- Oh!
- Easy now.
That's it.
- Oh, oh!
[ogre choking sounds]
[thump]
[metalic ringing]
- [muffled] Ha.
[grunting]
- I'm coming Your Highness.
This, uh, here we are.
[bocking]
- Oh, are you all right?
- Indeed.
- Who are you?
Uh, I mean to say,
we have not had the pleasure,
good sir knight.
- Sir Aldred of Westfold
at your service.
- Well met,
Sir Aldred of Westfold.
It is your honor
to have given aid
to Princess Gretta the Besiege.
- Your Highness.
- These two little guys
are okay.
Gretta: Rise, Sir Aldred.
I am in your debt.
Baldric: Let us away,
the woods grow dark
and treacherous.
- When I learned
of your plight princess,
of the siege
upon your castle,
I came with all due speed
to aid your cause.
Alas, I became lost in the woods
and to my shame
I was overcome by a strange
and powerful sleep.
- The champion spell.
- Pardon?
- The spell that saved us
from the siege.
It put everyone in the forest
to sleep.
- Ingenious.
- Yes, and no.
I'm afraid we all overslept.
Baldric: A thousand years passd
until a champion came
to break the spell.
- What champion?
- Sir Dwight of Woodside.
Baldric: Ah, hm.
Oh, oh, oh.
- Hey man.
Nice horse.
- Your page boy?
[laughing]
- What's a page boy?
[Renaissance rock]
Dwight: Okay, so about
a thousand years ago
there was this princess, Grett.
And she was in big trouble
because she had lots of enemies
and not a lot of friends.
So her court magician,
Baldric cast the champion spel.
It put everyone in the woods
to sleep
until a champion would come,
break the spell with his kiss
and deal with Gretta's
big, scary enemies.
But that guy never showed up,
instead...
Ahhh!
[kissing noise]
they got me.
Ah!
♪
♪
[celebratory sounds]
- Come Sir Dwight,
raise a tankard with us.
- No, thanks,
that stuff will take
the enamel off your teeth.
- Ah, strong spirits.
- Orange soda.
- Go on Sir Aldred,
how did you escape
the goblin lair?
- By brute force, naturally.
Baldric and Gretta:
Naturally.
[they laugh]
Gretta: Is that how you came
about this scar?
- No, Highness,
this was given me by a howler
some years ago.
- Oh.
- Did you say a howler?
- I did.
- What's a howler?
[thud]
Gretta: This was given to me
by a howler during the siege
of our cliffside fortress.
- What, what's a howler?
- Vicious beasts, those howlers.
- We had to remove the fangs
with flaming hot pincers.
- What's a howler?
Baldric: [harshly]
It's a creature
that cannot be described,
Sir Dwight.
It's, it's like a massive...
- Rabid dog.
- But with no fur...
- Fetch me pen and ink.
[duck and chicken noises]
[clearing throats]
[clearing throat]
[click]
- You're all set.
Baldric: Ooo, ho, ho, ho.
♪
- You can draw too.
- Astonishing likeness,
Sir Aldred.
Gretta: Remarkable.
- So, who's hungry?
- Famished.
- Sir Dwight has prepared
a feast for us of uh, uh...
- Tofu, cashew, lettuce wraps.
They're super healthy.
All: Mm.
- Hey, old fellows.
[door shuts loudly]
Friend or foe?
- Friend, Chlodwig.
Baldric: This is Sir Aldred
of Westfold.
Sir Aldred,
Prince Chlodwig the Unstable.
- Westfold, eh?
I spent my summers there
as a lad.
Did you train
with Sir Guntrall?
- Uh...
- Red beard, one eye,
eight fingers?
[as Guntrall]
Learn to love the sight
of your own blood, my lads.
- Ah, I believe he was after my
time, Your Highness.
- Lucky you.
Sir Aldred, Sir Aldred,
I know that name.
- Well, my deeds have been
heralded across kingdoms
in word and song.
Gretta: If not for Sir Aldred
I would be cooking
in an ogre's oven,
stuffed with yon chicken
and duck.
- Prinducken, eh?
They've taken a liking
to Sir Dwight.
- Yeah, watch this.
[gentle quacking]
They think I'm their mom.
All: Hm.
♪ [indistinct] ♪
♪ hey nonny, nonny. ♪
♪ I like my skin well turned
to crust. ♪
♪ Hey nonny, nonny. ♪
♪ When in my grave
deep underground, ♪
♪ the rats and spiders
run around. ♪
♪ Hey nonny, nonny. ♪
♪ Hey nonny, nonny. ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey. ♪
♪ Nonny, nonny. ♪
[laughing]
- A rousing ditty,
well-played, Sir Aldred,
well-played.
- And he's musical.
- Well sung, all.
- Let's sing it again.
- Let's not!
Okay, so we are all set up
for s'mores,
so this is a marshmallow
and...
you ate them.
You guys didn't
let me finish.
What you want to do,
is toast them over the fire.
- Oh.
- Oh, I made a double one
for Chlodwig,
is he coming?
- He said something
about a pressing engagement.
- Really?
Man, he was excited,
I could barely keep him out
of the marshmallows.
- Mine is ablaze.
- Oh, just shake it off,
I'll get you another.
Okay.
What you want is
a nice even toast.
- Tell me, Sir Dwight.
By what valorous deeds
were you made
Princess Gretta's champion?
- Oh, I fell in a hole.
And I landed on her
and woke her up.
- Pardon?
- And you kissed me.
- Not on purpose.
- He doesn't like
to admit it.
Aldred: Ah, a binding spell.
Sir Dwight's fate is bound
to Princess Gretta's
by that kiss.
- Exactly.
- Yours is done.
Now for the graham crackers
and chocolate.
- Ah. Not bad.
- It feels like it needs
something more.
I have it.
What if we took these toasted
white confections
and placed them in between
the crackers and the chocolate.
Baldric: Oh.
- Brilliant.
- Ha.
Baldric: Oh.
- Enjoy.
Aldred: Now, princess,
I see your predicament.
- What predicament?
- But the solution is
as plain.
- What solution?
- You are a genius, Sir Aldre!
Mm.
[chuckles]
- An unbinding spell, princess.
It would loose Sir Dwight
from his obligation
as your champion.
- What?
- How?
- It requires that another
take Sir Dwight's place.
[scoffs]
- Who?
- Do not mistake me,
Sir Dwight has performed
his office with honor,
now surely if you should
require your champion
to nurture your chickens
and ducks
or prepare medicinal plants.
- Those were lettuce wraps.
- Then Sir Dwight
is your man.
But, for all else, Highness,
I offer myself
as your champion,
if it so please you.
♪
Dwight: Hey Nana.
Nana: Is that you, sweetie?
- Yeah.
- Hexela's taking ten years
off my face.
- Though it will add ten years
to the bottoms of your feet.
- A price I'm willing to pay.
- Mm.
Dwight: So, there's this
new guy.
- Oh?
- Sir Aldred of Westfold.
- Sounds like a fancy pants.
Hexela: Sir Aldred,
where have I heard that name?
- Probably in some epic song.
He beat up an ogre
all by himself.
He fights hairless dogs.
- Like chihuahuas?
- Yeah, only a lot bigger
and meaner.
And he draws,
and he plays the lyre,
and he has a horse.
- Huh, an unusually accomplished
young man.
- Yup.
And, he wants to be
Gretta's champion.
- No kidding.
- How?
- Some kind of
champion do-over spell.
That will make him
the champion
and will let me off the hook.
- Wow.
- Yeah, right?
Isn't that great?
And to just not have to worry
about what crazy
is gonna come out
of the woods next?
- Boy, yeah.
- To not be dragged
into every gothic showdown.
- Mm.
- To not be the go-to guy
when some medieval loon
has a grievance.
- Absolutely.
[Hexela clears her throat]
- And to seal the spell,
the-the treatment.
Please touch
your fingertips together
and hold them over your heart.
- Oh.
- What the heck?
[shaking]
- What is that stuff?
- Don't worry about it.
Ah!
All done, honey.
I'm just gonna dust this off.
- Oh.
And what does Gretta think?
- Oh, well, of course
she wants Sir Aldred.
- She said so?
- N-n-no,
but it's obviously obvious
that he's the right guy.
He's like 22 and ripped.
- Hm.
You know better than anyone
that there is more to the
champion job than muscles.
- And sick combat skills?
- Okay.
- And a horse.
- Stop.
I didn't get you a horse
when you were kid
because
of our zoning regulations.
- I know.
- So, you don't have a horse,
or knight skills,
or ripply muscles.
He couldn't do a pull-up
for the President's Physical
Fitness Test,
he couldn't even bend
his elbows.
- It wasn't actually
a requirement.
- Exactly.
That's my point.
- Um, um I'm not following.
- Dwight, honey.
Think of everything
you've done
since you first
woke that girl up.
You didn't ask
for this champion job.
- That's true.
- But you're gettin' it done,
your way.
Horse, or no horse.
- Mm, hm, hm.
[gasp]
- [gasp] You're
a miracle worker.
[crickets chirping
and an owl hooting]
- Anything amiss,
Your Highness?
- All is well.
- [sighs]
- Sir Aldred is
a noble knight.
- He is.
- He's brave, and stalwart.
He's a very skilled swordsman.
- Indeed.
- Think of it, Baldric.
If he had arrived
in the woods a day sooner,
he might have saved us
from the siege.
- Or, if he had arrived
in the woods, a day later,
he might have been the one
to wake you.
- How oddly fate conspires.
[chuckles]
- Sir Dwight doesn't know a
broadsword from a bludgeon.
- 'Tis true.
- I go to bed every night amazd
that he has survived
another day.
- Mm.
- And yet--
- Princess?
- I have known many warriors,
Baldric.
Many have spoken brave words,
then have left me
when brave deeds were needed,
but Dwight,
he has never failed me.
[Aldred singing nonny, nonny]
[splash]
- Hey man.
- Sir Dwight!
Good morrow.
- Is that my?
- Pardon?
- It's all yours.
- Sir Aldred,
breakfast is ready within.
- Right-o.
- I've been thinking.
- As have I.
- You go first.
- No, continue.
- Okay.
Uh, I guess
what I've been thinking is,
that the two of us,
we don't make a lot of sense,
really.
I mean,
you're a gothic warrior princes
from a thousand years ago
and I'm, well,
none of those things.
But--
- Yes?
- It's kinda working.
At least we've done
all right so far.
- Indeed we have.
- So, like Nana says,
if it ain't broke...
- What?
- Don't fix it.
- Ah, I see.
We shan't fix what ain't...
broke.
- Whatever happens,
we'll just handle it.
[roaring]
- Oh, man.
- Ah!
- Gretta!
[thud]
- Sir Aldred!!!
- Princess!
- Take cover!
[roaring]
[grunting
and metal clanging]
- That was
my grandmother's sword.
[continued fighting sounds]
- What courage.
- Turns out we're not working
as well as I thought we were
five minutes ago.
- Five minutes ago,
we were idiots!
- What skill.
- It's not you, it's not me.
It's just reality.
The sooner we face it,
the longer we'll live.
- Agreed.
[crash]
[high-pitched battle cry]
- What valor.
- The fact is,
you've got a lot of enemies,
big, scary, mean-looking,
hairy enemies.
That's the guy for the job,
we're looking at him.
[grunting]
- He is a sight to behold.
- Premium champion material.
[grunting]
[screaming]
- It's not like I won't still
be here if you need me.
I think you know
I'm always here to help.
- Most gallant of you.
- Oh.
- Oh, you know,
and we're neighbors,
and I'll see you at school.
- Ah.
Sir Aldred!
[breaking glass]
[thud]
[panting]
- Magnificent!
[thud]
- So, we've been thinking
about your offer.
- Sir Aldred of Westfold,
you are the champion
of my choice.
[sombre music]
♪
- The spell requires only a few
of your personal accoutrements.
- My what?
- A tear drop.
- Okay.
- A stream of spittle,
- Ew.
- and a drop of blood.
- Uh.
- Allow me.
[thud]
- Ah! That hurt.
Uh, that hurt.
- Blood, spittle, tears.
- Hey!
- Let us be off!
- All is ready.
I did not expect you to
survive a fortnight, Sir Dwight.
- [pained grunt]
[laughs]
Thanks big guy.
- You're certain you know
the way to your hidden castl?
- Of course.
- And the secret chamber
where good Baldric cast
the champion spell?
- I could find it
with my eyes closed.
- Then lead on, Highness.
- One moment.
- We shall return tomorrow.
- Great! Have fun!
New sword?
- It was my grandmother's.
- Oh, I thought the other one
was your grandmother's.
- She had a lot of swords.
- Cool.
- Things won't be exactly
as they have been.
- Everything happens
for a reason.
Sir Aldred showing up
when he did?
It was, it was meant to be.
We'll still be friends.
- Friends.
- Good luck, Gretta.
- Thank you, Dwight.
♪
♪
[clopping hooves]
[birds chirping]
[banging]
- Ah!
Ah!
- [muffled yelling]
- Chlodwig?
- Ah!
Where is the villain?
- What villain?
What happened?
- Sir Aldred of Westfold.
If he even is of Westfold,
which I'm beginning to doubt.
- What?
- The knave struck me a blow
to the head
and a second to the nose.
I see he did you
the same indignity.
- Yeah, actually.
- Did he also swab
your blood, spittle and tears?
- For the do-over spell,
he said, but why would he?
Chlodwig?
Who is this guy?
Hexela: The devil himself.
Where is the princess?
- Well, she went back with him.
- And Baldric?
To the woods and quickly!
There's no time to lose.
[Rock Renaissance music]
♪