Duck Dynasty (2012–2017): Season 10, Episode 7 - There Will Be Flood - full transcript

Oh it's coming down now.

- Whoa!
- I don't like this.

- Good grief.
- Should we move that bench?

It'll float away if we don't.

I bet you hundred dollars
you can't get up on this thing.

Hey. Easy. Easy.

Easy.

- You know what I'm thinking, Jase?
- Huh?

This is why I left the river.

Yeah, this is why
I headed North.

- Where's Willie?
- Making a mail run.



- What?!
- Typical Willie.

When the work starts
out, he's checking the mail.

Going down the pants.
Going down the pants.

There's nothing more dangerous, or
unpredictable, than rising flood waters.

I don't know about grabbing
this during a lightning storm.

Hey!

Because Phil and
Kay live on the river,

their house is in constant
danger of being flooded.

Which is why we're here
doing everything possible

to keep that from happening.

This was always Willie,
every time we had a flood.

- We would all be working...
- From the peripheral.

Wait! You lost the oar.

Well, except for Willie,



who's decided to
put all his efforts

in retrieving the mail.

Got it.

Good job, babe.

Job well done.

It's a little damp.

All right, I'm headed
to higher ground.

All right. I think
we got it all.

- Is that all of it?
- I can't wait to see

- how important that mail is.
- It's a little wet. It's a little wet.

I'm sure that water
will buff right out.

Yeah.

All right, mama. I think we
got everything done on your list,

except for the things
that totally make no sense.

Like, "Feed Bobo
and give him a bath?"

Well, he needs to be cleaned
and relaxed going through a crisis,

I mean think about it.

Mom, he lives here. That's
not part of the flooding,

- it's just your dog.
- It hurts my back to bend over

too long in the bath tubs...

You could do it, cause
you're young and strong...

- Yeah but...
- You got those meaty hands...

It's not really flood related.

He's not young or
strong, by the way.

You said, "Put up bird houses."

That may be difficult.

- Your entire yard's under water.
- But I want the...

- Their feeders filled with food.
- Where's the bird feed then?

Write on the list to find it.

I think it's somewhere
in the warehouse.

Put it on the list.

Storms can unleash
destruction in small towns.

But I'm kind of grateful
they brought us together.

- Did you clean out the car?
- Kay?

You know, I'll have
to be able live in it

if I get stuck or
something like that.

What? Kay!

I think you can live in it.

You got enough stuff in
there to live for about a month.

Looks like somebody's
already living in there.

At times like this, being
surrounded by my family,

makes me realize how lucky I am.

I've got all this
food, we gotta eat it.

We're gonna get stuck down
here if we stay here, so...

Oh yeah, wouldn't that be great.

No, we gotta take
care of the kids.

Mama, all of our
kids are in town.

It also makes me
realize I need a vacation.

Preferably somewhere warm and...

sunny.

Remember when ya'll were young,

and we would always
have a big water crisis,

and remember we all had
our jobs and things to do.

Don't you remember that?

Yes.

Yeah, but we were
eight years old.

All our phones went
off at the same time.

Oh no. This is not good.

- "State of emergency."
- State of emergency?!

- Now I'm definitely outta here.
- Yeah, we gotta go.

State of emergency,
everybody cannot move.

- We gotta go, Kay.
- We're not going anywhere.

Some of the roads
are closed out this way.

Oh, now we get to eat and stay,
and we can talk about told times.

I better call Sadie...

- Really?
- Yay!

- There went the power.
- Oh boy.

You know what we
should've put on the list, Kay?

- What?
- Build an ark.

- I got my hair wet.
- Oh, look at this.

Houston, we got problems, boys.

All right. We gotta do
something about this, boys.

Better get these boxes
up off the ground right here.

I know there's some
buckets over there.

We got a new swimming pool.

Want to get some
buckets right here?

We gotta get this
other mess cleaned up.

I know.

Let me get some buckets.

He gone.

With Willie and Jase
stuck at Phil and Kay's,

that kind of makes
me the interim CEO.

I'm gonna get some buckets.

First order of business,

make sure the Duck Commander
warehouse doesn't flood.

Hey, good drum
beat going there, boys.

Second order of business,

making sure the guys
protect the merchandise.

Here you go. Clean that mess up.

- We gonna do it with a t-shirt?!
- That's all we got.

Hey, ha, I like it.

That's not good,
using the shirts.

It'll be all right.

Which is why I
guess I'm not CEO.

This t-shirt's
about full of water.

Hey, I ain't believing this.

- What?
- I forgot to bring my tea.

Look at that... I'm shaking.

I got nothing.

Hey, I gotta go to the
kitchen make me some tea.

You gotta help us
get this water up.

- Nah, here, I'll help you with it.
- What?

Here.

Put that on it.

Now I've helped.

I cannot work under
these conditions.

Let’s just wipe it up with Si.

Hey, get you some of that.

Yeah, I don't think we should
be going through the inventory

to clean this up.

At some point them
buckets are gonna fill up.

- Buckets?
- We just go up on the roof

and put something to clog the
holes, then we ain't gotta worry about it.

What about duct tape?
We're duck hunters.

That'll work.

Oh.

All right, let's see.

Six minutes.

Piece of garbage.

I gots to find me
somewhere else to work.

Good grief.

- Hold the ladder.
- I got it.

Dadgummit!

Good grief.

- Bounce on up here, Slim.
- All right, hurry up.

- All right, Godwin, you got this thing?
- I got it.

Oh, this isn't sketchy at all.

You gotta dry off
that spot real good

- so the tape will stick.
- Hurry up, shirt man.

- Huh? I'm coming.
- Hurry up, gimme a shirt.

You ready? Here.

Hey, tell him to dry
the spots off good.

- Huh?
- Or that tape won't stick.

- Can you understand what he's saying?
- Dry!

- Agh!
- Dry it off!

- Godwin, catch.
- Oh, good grief.

Having Godwin bark orders at me,

is similar to someone
coming in the bathroom

and looking over your
shoulder as you're trying to pee.

It makes it way harder
to get the job done.

- Tell him to hurry up.
- Godwin said to hurry up.

- Hurry up!
- Shut up!

- Is he hurrying up?
- Godwin.

Hurry up!

Only the stakes in this
case are a lot higher,

because the longer
this takes me...

- Drat!
- Here comes the rain.

Is he doing it right?

The more likely I'm going
to get struck by lightning.

- Okay.
- Huh?

- I think we're good.
- All right, I'm coming down.

- You did it good?
- No, I did it bad.

- What does that mean?
- How many spots you get?

I got one word, fixed.

- Six?
- Fixed.

- There was more than six.
- Fixed, Godwin.

Well, I tell you what,

that duct tape fixes
anything won't it.

I tell you what,

put some over Godwin's
mouth so he'd shut up.

Let’s see if we can
scrounge up some lunch.

I really worked up an
appetite holding that ladder.

So, we're going
to play Pictionary...

- a version of it.
- Or we can play, uh...

What's the game that you have
to draw that we have to guess?

- Pictionary.
- Yeah. We should do that.

- Yeah, okay.
- So what is this game?

- Wait, I don't understand.
- What are we playing?

Since almost everybody
was over helping

at Memaw Kay's and
Papa Phil's house,

I decided to go help with
Jessica and all the kids.

Rayray, show us yours.

- Is that Gus?
- Yeah.

It looks just like him.

I volunteered to
help because, I mean,

I love kids and
also that sounded

a lot more pleasant
than going out in the rain

and helping with sandbags.

Whoa.

It's okay.

All right, for this round,

- ya'll are going to draw...
- Sadie.

What happened?

- I'll get some flashlights.
- You want me to hold Gus?

Yeah, if you would,
that would be awesome.

And I'll go get
some flashlights.

Who's sacred of storms?

Lily Robertson is scared.

When it comes to
storms of course.

- Or bridges.
- Flooding. Or drowning.

- That's like my worst fear.
- Yeah.

So I hate the ocean.

Sometimes I don't
like the pool either.

Mom, what about the
chickens? They're gonna drown.

- Chickens can swim, can't they?
- No, they will die.

- What is that?
- A dead chicken floating around,

waiting for something to eat it.

Priscilla!

Chickens? That was
the last thing on my mind.

You don't want to be
picking up wet dead chickens.

Okay, okay.

- Take the baby and I'll go get 'em.
- Here, Gus.

Remember our
baby one that we had,

and it drowned its own self.

And then one of them
escaped and got eaten by ants.

Do you need any help?

That's okay, Sadie, thanks.

I don't want ya'll
get out in this.

I was only asking to be nice.

I was hoping she would say no.

- Hey, I'll be right back, okay?
- Try not to drown.

And not float with
the dead chickens.

Priscilla!

Death.

Good grief. It's
coming down now.

What are you doing?

Well, I was gonna
fix me some tea.

The power went out,

and I'm probably
gonna hurt somebody

if I don't get some tea.

You don't wanna mess
with a man with... drawls.

- With drawls?
- He will kill you.

I can't think of a more
dangerous situation

than being stuck
with Godwin and Si

in a state of emergency.

Have you ever took a
tea bag and smelt it?

You know, it smells like tea.

You think Si's crazy now?

Imagine him trying to survive a
week with no tea and no crazy pills.

You need to quit
worrying about your tea,

and we need to start
worrying about food.

- I am getting hungry.
- Godwin's about to starve to death.

And the last time I saw Godwin
go more than a couple hours

without food, was actually...

You know, never.

I need something to eat.

We better come up
with a solution and fast.

I'm pretty sure Godwin just
looked at me like I'm a cartoon ham.

- I tell you what.
- What?

Willie has got something
to eat in his office.

- I guarantee you that.
- It's a state of emergency,

that means martial law.
Every man for himself.

Boy, I tell you, my stomach
thinks my mouth went on vacation.

Watch out, baby. No. No.

Come here. Come here.

All right. Come here.

Come here.

Mom is so brave
because she went out

and saved our chickens
in the middle of the storm.

Aw, that's so sweet.

We were so worried
about Bertha and Mart.

Come on. Here, hurry up!

Take it. Take it, Rowdy.

- In the bath tub!
- Go, go!

- You don't like any of your chickens.
- They're all mean,

and they don't even
lay eggs, so really,

we just have a bunch of
chickens that do nothing.

True.

Come here. Oh god.

Good grief!

You better be grateful.

I don't think the chickens
are gonna be grateful

that my mom saved
them cause they're stupid.

So they don't really know.

Are they all in there?

Yeah, well...

- They diarrhea'd everywhere.
- Okay.

- Ew.
- That is disgusting.

Ew!

I'm not cleaning that up.

Me neither!

I'm going to have
to bleach the tub.

I don't know if I
can bleach copper.

All right boys,
I'm telling you...

- The promised land.
- All right, boys.

There's grub in these woods.

Okay.

Of course you're
gonna take the seat.

- Hey.
- What?

- It's gotta be in there.
- What does?

- The goodies.
- What's the code?

- How you gonna get in there?
- There's a place for a key there, boys.

Find the key.

Hey, we're stuck here.

But trust me when
I tell you this, okay.

If there's any edible food,
it's gonna be in Willie's safe.

See what's in that box.

- Look in the box.
- Look in the box, boys.

Look in the box.

Why, you ask me?
Hey, very simple.

People keep their
valuables in a safe, okay.

And trust me, food
is valuable to him.

Ha. You'd never expect
to find it here, would you.

- What?
- On top of the safe.

Hey, brilliant!

Look, to Willie, food is
worth more than gold.

Uh-oh! Uh-oh.

We got pay dirt.

- Jackpot!
- All right, see, I told you

fat boy had some food, boys.

- He's got the white powdered donuts.
- Si, you like peanuts, don't you?

- Are they chocolate?
- Yeah. Godwin, probably-

Oh, that ain't peanuts.

He's got a booby trap

Our spirits have
definitely been lifted.

A bull horn?

- Hello!
- Whoa! Good grief!

There's a state of
emergency out there.

You think everybody heard that?

Not unless it's got a
translation that comes with it.

The inside of Willie's safe,

pretty much resembles the
concession stand at a movie theatre.

Instead of it being
filled with overpriced

snacks and
candies, it's all free.

Why would you
put this in a safe?

- To keep it safe.
- It’s a bandana, dude.

To make sure you
don't wear 'em, I guess.

I should wear it.

For us, at least. I'm sure
Willie had to pay for it.

Willie's a good guy to know
in a state of emergency.

- Keeps plenty of supplies.
- Powdered donuts is my favorite.

I love these little
frosted animal crackers.

I ain't had none
since I was like six.

Boys, I would kill for a
glass of iced tea right now.

You're gonna have to go
a clinic to dry out... of tea.

- This is a good time for
you - I can't. I can't handle it.

- To get off that tea.
- I may have to just drive

as far as I can drive,

and then swim the
rest of the way home.

You better find a boat.

Powdered donuts are my favorite.

This is delicious.

We should get stuck
down here more often.

- Yeah.
- Well, at least we have

a lot of candles. Back in the
day we had like one candle.

Because we were poor.

Willie, didn't you
use to spit on food?

- I didn't spit, I licked it.
- Gross.

Once you licked it, it was
protected, so you can eat it later.

Didn't ya'll have enough
food to go around?

- Miss Kay cooks all the time.
- Well, remember we were poor.

You had to open
the door to get cool.

Cause there was
no air conditioning.

Mom, we had no air
conditioning in the house.

- What's the problem?
- I know, I lived here too.

We were poor. Okay?

Growing up, we didn't have a
lot of extra money for luxuries.

Like, new cars, new
furniture, or new clothes.

I was in college before I knew
what a new pair of socks felt like.

Well, what about
when I said I think

I broke arm and you
shushed me and said,

"We're trying to figure
out who shot JR."

Well, we were poor then, too.

Our family's version
of "because I said so,"

is basically, "because
we were poor."

Why did you feed us organs?

Mom, we had no air
conditioning in the house.

Why were we burning our
garbage in the front yard?

We were poor. We were poor.

We were poor!

She once tried to
convince to come over

and help her mow the yard because
when we grew up, we were poor.

I was like half way done when I
realized, that doesn't make any sense.

You know what, the poor
stories are why ya'll who you are.

And ya'll turned out...

There we go. God,
that took forever.

My buddy said the
double bridges are open.

- We can go that way.
- All right, we're gonna go

check on the guys
at the warehouse.

- Mom, thank you. That was awesome.
- It was fun.

Shoot.

Let’s go find these guys.

Well, it didn't float off.

Oh, shoot. Look at this water.

Oh my goodness.

That's a brand new t-shirt.

Why wouldn't they use a mop?

All right, I'm fixin' to go chew their
butts out for using brand new t-shirts.

All right. I'ma go
check your office.

In a way, I'm kind of
glad that Willie gets

to see what happens
when these guys

are functioning
without my supervision.

Whoa.

- Power's back.
- What are ya'll doing?

- Huh?
- Willie's right behind me.

He is right behind me.

You take my management
skills out of the equation,

let me tell you what you got.

Chaos.

- Here, put that in there.
- Stupidity...

- Get the phone off of there.
- Run rampant.

- Where'd ya'll get all this stuff?
- It was all in the safe.

Ya'll opened his safe?

Oh my goodness.

He's going to fire
every one of you.

On the other hand, they
are my duck call brothers.

If you wanna get on these
guys, you gotta come through me.

And now, they owe me one.

Which is always good.

- Jase!
- They're in here.

They were checking your office.

Why were you checking my
office? Why are you in my seat?

- What are you doing with my tea?
- I found it on your truck.

- Hey, my glass was with that, right?
- Yeah, it was sitting right beside it.

Well hey, go get me
some ice and my glass.

- I'm not touching that.
- I'm not getting you ice.

- Get out of my chair.
- I don't touch your glass.

I told you, do not
sit in my chair, ever.

Okay? That's the rule.

- What do ya'll don't have water here?
- Look.

He ain't have no tea all day.

He's been freaking
out of course.

Why do you all have Willie's
bandana on your head?

Mmm.

- Hmmm...
- Godwin did it.

- It's National Boss's Day.
- It's Boss's Day, isn't it?

Is it Boss's Day?

- They have a day for that?
- Yeah.

Okay, can somebody
explain to me,

why you all used brand
new t-shirts to mop up water.

- 'Cause we couldn't find the mop.
- Couldn't find the mop.

- We couldn't find the mop.
- That should be changed...

- There's a mop room.
- That's just stupid.

- That's kinda stupid.
- Boss's Day?

- Look, I'm just doing...
- It's not stupid, it's a good idea.

- Is there a Worker Day?
- There's a mop room?

I didn't know there
was a mop room.

- I didn't either.
- I didn't either.

- Yes, there's a mop room.
- But any way,

- we couldn't find the mop, okay?
- Okay. All right.

- Did you get the roof stopped up?
- Yeah.

We got duct tape on it.

- I mean, it's a temporary fix.
- Yeah.

It's a band aid at best.

- It ain't...
- It needs to be repaired,

but I mean, you know,
it did stop the leak.

Okay. Ya'll can get out of here.

I gotta get me something to eat.

I'm gone.

- I'm outta here, boys.
- All right. See ya, boss.

- Pick up them t-shirts!
- There's a mop room?

I didn't know there
was a mop room.

I didn't either.

Oh no, you didn't.
You dirty suckers.

Hey!

All right, ya'll ready to pray?

Lord, thank you for
this day and this food.

We want to pray a special prayer

for those affected
by the flood, Lord.

We just pray that they can
get through it and rebuild,

our hearts are
out to them, Lord.

- In your son's name, amen.
- Amen.

All right, boys,
get on that soup.

Let’s get on that soup.

My family and I were fortunate

not to suffer any losses during
the most recent flooding disaster,

but others in our
area were not so lucky.

It's unfortunate, but
sometimes it takes

a tragedy to remind
us how precious life is.

The effects of a natural
disaster can be devastating,

and no one is immune.

That's why it's so
important to show gratitude

for the things you have,
and more importantly,

the people who love you.

Even if it means
having to forgive them

for breaking into your safe
and stealing your snacks.

Am I going crazy,

- or do I hear chickens?
- Actually, both.