Duck Dynasty (2012–2017): Season 1, Episode 8 - A Big Duck-ing Call - full transcript

OH, HEY, YEAH, MM-HMM.

COME IN.

I'LL DO ONE OF THESE BASS PRO

MOVES HERE WITH...

YOU CAUGHT ANYTHING?

WELL, I HAD SOMETHING BIG.

BEING A REDNECK, I TAKE

A SHOTGUN WITH ME ANY TIME I GO

IN THE WOODS.

IT'S REDNECK LAW.

MUST HAVE A GUN.



WHOA, WHOA.

MUST SHOOT IT REGULARLY.

WHAT ARE YOU SHOOTING AT?

WATER SNAKE.

HEY, LOOK, HE'S STILL HANGING ON

NO HEAD.

THEY'LL POP YOU UPSIDE YOUR

HEAD WITHOUT A HEAD.

HE'S GONNA BITE ME WITHOUT

A FACE?

HEY, LOOK HERE, IN ALABAMA

I KILLED A BIG OLD DIAMONDBACK

RATTLER.

YOU'RE IGNORANT.



THESE BOYS, THEY DON'T QUITE

UNDERSTAND WHAT I BRING TO THE

TABLE.

YEAH, I'VE BEEN SNAKEBIT

27 TIMES TO BE EXACT.

HEY, THAT'S WHAT THEY DO, OKAY?

THEY'RE BEING A SNAKE.

GOT ONE?

YEAH.

MAYBE WE SHOULD HAVE FISH FRY

FOR THE PARTY.

PARTY FOR WHAT?

THE 40TH ANNIVERSARY PARTY.

40 YEARS FOR WHAT?

DUCK COMMANDER, YOU IDIOT.

HEY, I DON'T HAVE TO BE

AN IDIOT.

I JUST WONDERED WHAT THE PARTY

WAS GONNA BE FOR.

HOW IS IT THAT NOBODY AROUND

HERE KNOWS THAT WE'RE

CELEBRATING 40 YEARS OF

DUCK CALL BUILDING?

IT'S A BIG DEAL.

WE GOTTA GET BIG OR GO HOME.

HEY, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT THAT

YOU CAN BLOW UP?

YOU WANT SOMETHING BIG?

DYNAMITE IS BIG.

THAT'S NOT... THAT'S NOT

A PARTY, THAT'S...

IT'S A PARTY FOR ME,

WATCHING SOMETHING BLOW TO

SMITHEREENS.

WELL, OBVIOUSLY, I'M GONNA

HAVE TO COME UP WITH SOMETHING

BECAUSE Y'ALL AIN'T DOING

NO GOOD.

WELL, YOU AIN'T INTO BLOWING

UP SOMETHING, SO HEY, I DON'T

KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO YOU.

40 YEARS.

40 YEARS.

IT SURE WENT BY QUICK.

MEET THE ROBERTSON CLAN.

THEY TURN DUCK CALLS...

INTO A MULTIMILLION-DOLLAR

EMPIRE.

BUT RUNNING A FAMILY BUSINESS IS

TOUGH WHEN THE FAMILY JUST WANTS

TO RUN WILD.

WHOO!

♪ YOU'VE BEEN WALKING ♪

♪ AROUND ALL YOUR LIFE ♪

♪ YOU'RE BORN IN ♪

♪ YOU'RE BORN IN THIS WAY ♪

♪ YOU BEEN WORKING AND SLAVING ♪

♪ YOUR WHOLE LIFE AWAY ♪

CAN YOU PUT IT BACK TOGETHER

LIKE IT WAS NEW, OR WHAT?

OR IS IT ALWAYS GONNA GIVE ME

TROUBLE?

UH-OH.

WE GOT PROBLEMS.

YOU CAN'T GET ANY WATER, I CAN'T

COOK.

PHIL'S THE PLUMBER?

HE WON'T PAY ANYBODY.

HE'S JUST GOTTA DO IT HIS SELF.

REAL MEN DON'T CALL PLUMBERS.

HE'S GONNA CALL HIMSELF A MAN,

HE NEED TO KNOW HOW TO FIX THAT

ON THE SPOT.

NOW EVERYTHING'S FALLING

APART.

WE GOT A LEAK IN THE BACK ROOM

AND NOW WATER COMES IN.

MAYBE IT'S TIME TO MOVE.

DO WHAT?

MOVE UP TOWN.

UP TOWN?

WE GOT ENOUGH MONEY.

I DON'T THINK IT'S THE

MONEY'S THE PROBLEM.

I THINK IT'S THE MAN STANDING

RIGHT HERE.

YOU'RE CLOSE TO TOWN, KAY.

YOU CAN GO SHOPPING.

YOU GET TO LIVE UP AROUND

THE SUBDIVISION.

THAT'S A DEATH KNELL.

THAT'S THE STAGE YOU GO INTO

BEFORE THE GRAVE.

GET OUT OF THE WOODS, GO TO

THE SUBDIVISION, THROW THEM

IN A HOLE.

I GOT NEWS FOR YOU.

YOU'RE GOING IN A HOLE NO MATTER

WHETHER YOU LIVE IN

A SUBDIVISION OR HERE.

MOM AND DAD, I LOVE THIS

HOUSE TOO.

WE CAN KEEP IT.

JUST DON'T LIVE IN IT.

I'M GONNA GET YOU IN TOUCH WITH

MY REALTOR.

AT LEAST GO LOOK.

OKAY.

ALL RIGHT, WE GOTTA GO TO

WORK, LET'S GO.

ALL RIGHT.

I'VE LIVED IN THIS HOUSE NEARLY

40 YEARS, BUT WILLIE MIGHT HAVE

A GOOD POINT.

IT MAY BE TIME TO MOVE.

THE PLUMBING IS FIXED.

WELL, FOR HOW LONG, BABE?

WE CAN GET ANOTHER SIX MONTHS

OUT OF IT.

IT'LL BE GOOD TO GO.

HAVE YOU EVER HEARD SI GOING

TO THE BATHROOM?

"HOO HA HA HO, NO, NO, HEY."

AND LOOK, THAT WAS JUST NUMBER

ONE!

HEY, I'VE GOT THE IDEA OF ALL

IDEAS.

WHAT'S COMING UP THIS WEEKEND?

TURKEY SEASON.

NO, IT'S NOT TURKEY SEASON.

IT'S THE 40TH ANNIVERSARY

PARTY.

OH, YEAH.

WE'RE GONNA BREAK

THE GUINNESS WORLD RECORD,

THE BIGGEST DUCK CALL EVER.

THERE'S A RECORD FOR THAT?

YES.

I WANNA BUILD THE WORLD'S

BIGGEST DUCK CALL BECAUSE DUCK

COMMANDER IS THE BIGGEST AND

THE BEST.

THE RECORD RIGHT NOW IS

36 INCHES.

THREE FOOT LONG?

Y'ALL NEED TO FIGURE OUT HOW

TO BUILD THIS THING.

WILLIE, YOU'RE WANTING US TO

DO SOMETHING THAT'S NEVER BEEN

DONE BEFORE IN THE HISTORY OF

MANKIND IN A FEW DAYS?

EXACTLY.

WILLIE, THIS IS NOT GONNA BE

EASY, IT'S GONNA BE...

HEY, NOTHING THAT'S EVER BIG

IS EASY.

WILLIE THINKS IF SOMETHING'S

BIGGER, IT MUST BE BETTER.

I DON'T.

I NEVER JUDGE A MAN'S PROWESS BY

THE SIZE OF HIS DUCK CALL.

I DON'T CARE HOW BIG IT IS.

ALL RIGHT, GET IT, DESIGN IT.

THE CEO HAS SPOKEN.

WHERE DOES HE COME UP WITH

THIS STUFF?

GOTTA BE BIGGER THAN

36 INCHES.

COOL.

SHOW IT AT THE PARTY.

I LIKE THAT.

THIS WEEKEND?

THIS WEEKEND.

I WANT THE PRESS HERE...

IF WE PUT IN THE PRESS,

THEN WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO DO IT.

WE'RE GONNA DO IT.

KORIE JUST NEEDS TO CALM DOWN

AND HAVE A LITTLE FAITH IN ME.

IT SHOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM FOR

PEOPLE WHO MAKE DUCK CALLS EVERY

DAY.

YOU GOTTA DO IT.

YOU GOTTA DELIVER.

YOU LOOK GOOD TODAY.

WILLIE.

SI, WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU

BEEN HOUSE SHOPPING?

IT'S BEEN A WHILE.

MISS KAY STARTS CHIRPING

ABOUT LET'S GO LOOK AT A HOUSE.

I THINK IT'LL JUST BE FUN TO

LOOK.

JUST TO GET IT BEHIND ME,

I SAID I'LL GO LOOK.

WHEN YOU GET TO TOWN, SI, LOOK

AT THIS.

BUMPER TO BUMPER TRAFFIC, WE GOT

BLINKING LIGHTS, THE LAW'S

PULLING PEOPLE OVER, SI.

UPTOWN LIVING, YOU KNOW, YOU GOT

TO CALL 911.

WHERE I LIVE, I AM 911.

WELL I'M EXCITED AND YOU

BETTER BEHAVE AND NOT ACT LIKE

A COUNTRY BUMPKIN.

LOOK AT THIS CAT HERE, PHIL.

HE'S RUBBING HIS HANDS

TOGETHER.

GOOD MORNING.

WHEN A MAN GOES RUBBING HIS

HANDS TOGETHER WHEN HE LOOKS

AT ME, I'M THINKING, "UH-OH".

YOU MUST BE PHIL.

I'M WHAT'S LEFT OF HIM.

MY NAME'S GREG KNEAD.

PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.

WHEN I SAW GREG KNEAD, I JUST

REACHED AROUND AND I FELT MY

BACK POCKET TO MAKE SURE MY

BILLFOLD WAS THERE.

I ALWAYS TRUST A REAL ESTATE MAN

ALONG WITH THE LAWYERS AND

DOCTORS.

HE'S NOT GONNA SLICK ME

WITH THAT FAST-TALKING VACUUM

CLEANER TALK.

NO, SIR.

YOU GOT A SPIT CUP IN YOUR RIG?

NO... I DON'T.

IF YOU'RE GONNA SELL HOUSES

YOU KNOW YOU GOTTA PROVIDE THESE

THINGS, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M

SAYING?

NO SPIT CUPS.

I KNEW IT WAS GONNA BE A LONG

DAY RIGHT THEN.

THIS REEKS OF A SUBDIVISION,

GREG KNEAD.

NO, WE ARE TALKING ABOUT

BEAUTIFUL PRIME REAL ESTATE.

IS IT BIG?

DO YOU LIKE BIG?

I LIKE BIG.

IT'S BIG.

OH, MY.

WELCOME TO YOUR NEW WORLD.

THIS MAY BE A LITTLE MUCH.

IT HAS A VATICAN LOOK ABOUT IT.

DOES THE POPE COME WITH IT?

BELIEVE IT OR NOT, THIS IS

STRANGELY AFFORDABLE.

"STRANGELY AFFORDABLE."

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

OLD GREG "KNEAL," NOW HE'S

A SALESMAN.

HE HAS DOLLAR SIGNS IN HIS EYES.

WHEN GREG KNEAD TAKES A FIRST

SHOT, HE MAKES IT A GOOD ONE.

WHOA.

WHAT I'M PROPOSING IS FOUR

AND A HALF FEET.

FORGET 36 INCHES.

IF WE MAKE IT 37, SOMEBODY'LL

COME BACK AND MAKE IT 38.

YOU WANT A DUCK CALL?

I'LL GIVE YOU A DUCK CALL.

FOR GIANTS.

THAT'S A BIG CALL.

REALLY BIG.

WE'RE GONNA NEED SOMEBODY

WITH A BIG MOUTH.

AND THAT'S WHERE THE CEO

COMES IN.

OH...

ALL RIGHT, I JUST GOT THE

GUIDELINES BACK FROM GUINNESS

WORLD RECORDS.

IT'S GOTTA EMULATE THE SOUND OF

A DUCK.

IT'S GOTTA BE WITNESSED BY

A PROFESSIONAL DUCK CALLER,

HAVE PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE.

WE GOT THE NEWS COMING.

WE'LL TAKE PICTURES, SO THIS IS

DOABLE.

THIS SHOULD BE EASY.

WE'VE GOT PLENTY OF TIME.

WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO MAKE A DUCK

CALL JUST A LITTLE BIT BIGGER.

WILLIE HAS NO CONCEPT OF WHAT

IT TAKES TO MAKE A DUCK CALL.

IF SOMEBODY SAYS, "WILLIE,

YOU KNOW, YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON

MAKING A DUCK CALL."

HE'D POINT AT ME AND SAY, "I

NEED ONE IN A HURRY."

LET'S DO IT.

LET'S GO GET SOME WOOD.

Y'ALL GET THE REED.

WE CAN HANDLE THAT.

YOU GOTTA HAVE SOMEBODY WITH

A BIG MOUTH TO BLOW IT.

SO I THINK YOU MIGHT QUALIFY.

THESE TREES ARE LITTLE.

JASE AND I ARE OUT IN THE

CYPRESS CREEK TO GATHER WOOD FOR

THE WORLD'S LARGEST DUCK CALL.

BRACE YOURSELF.

DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE THIS

THING... OW!

SORRY, I MISSED MY TURN.

JASE IS ACTING LIKE HE'S

BLIND.

I MEAN, YOU NEED TO PUT LITTLE

BRAILLE SIGNS UP ON EVERY TREE

SO HE CAN MANEUVER AROUND THEM.

STOP DOING THAT.

HEY, THIS IS PART OF IT.

THAT'S CALLED REDNECK GEOMETRY.

IT'S STRATEGIC PINBALL.

AND I'VE GOT THE JOYSTICK.

OW!

OH!

NOT SO FAST!

DUDE.

WHAT, DID HE DRINK A 12 PACK

BEFORE HE CAME OUT TODAY?

THIS ONE'S PERFECT.

I'M IN.

WHOA, WHOA.

I'M IN A HOLE, SON.

MAYBE AN ALLIGATOR HOLE.

I GOT NOT... DON'T EVEN SAY

THAT.

DUDE, LOOK AT ALL THE BUBBLES.

I'M TELLING YOU, AN ALLIGATOR

HOLE.

NO, IT REALLY WASN'T AN

ALLIGATOR HOLE, BUT HE DON'T

NEED TO KNOW THAT.

DON'T MOVE, DON'T MOVE, DON'T

MOVE.

OUT HERE IN THE WOODS,

THIS IS MY DOMAIN.

HEY, THERE'S A SNAKE RIGHT

THERE.

AAH!

SO ANY CHANCE I GET TO KIND

OF POKE AT WILLIE A LITTLE BIT,

I DO IT.

IT GIVES ME A CERTAIN BIT OF

AMUSEMENT.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET OUT OF

HERE.

SLOW DOWN.

WHOOPS, OH!

OH, I HIT THAT ONE HEAD ON.

OH, MY.

THIS IS A CASTLE.

IS THIS GREAT?

THAT'S ONE WORD FOR IT.

UNBELIEVABLE.

WHAT IN THE WORLD AM I DOING

STANDING HERE, TALKING TO THIS

CAT?

♪ LET'S ALL HURRY ♪

♪ DOWN THE RIVER ♪

SING ALONG.

I'M THINKING INSTEAD OF REAL

ESTATE, THIS IS A REAL MISTAKE.

HERE'S YOUR DINING ROOM.

WHEN YOU HAVE A PARTY.

I DON'T DO PARTIES.

THAT LITTLE CHANDELIER,

$25,000.

DUMB.

THIS IS PART OF YOUR SPA

AREA.

THAT WOULD BE NICE WHEN WE

BAPTIZE PEOPLE IN THE WINTER.

OKAY.

SIX KITCHENS, TWELVE BEDROOMS,

A POOL, MARBLE EVERYTHING.

PHIL, YOU DESERVE IT.

YEAH.

EAT, SLEEP AND MESS WITH

MISS KAY A LITTLE BIT IN BACK

IN THE BACK ROOM IS ABOUT ALL

I'M GETTING OUT OF A HOUSE.

OH, I CAN TAKE CARE OF THAT

RIGHT WHERE I AM.

NO PROBLEM.

I THINK THIS IS A LITTLE BEYOND

WHAT WE HAD IN MIND.

MM-HMM.

SO...

SO LET'S GO SEE ANOTHER

HOUSE.

GREG KNEAD IS HERE FOR YOU.

DUDE, YOU'RE LIKE ARNOLD IN

COMMANDO.

SO WE'RE LOOKING GOOD.

WE'VE GOT OUR WOOD.

WE'VE GOT THE CREW.

EVERYTHING IS ON SCHEDULE.

IT'S GOT A PRETTY GOOD ODOR

ABOUT IT TOO.

YOU KNOW WHAT IT SMELLS LIKE

TO ME?

WHAT?

HISTORY.

ALL RIGHT, BOYS.

THE WORLD'S BIGGEST DUCK CALL IS

WELL UNDERWAY.

OH, YES.

OH, COME ON!

COME ON.

WELL IF IT HAD BEEN EASY, IT

WOULDN'T BE A RECORD.

YES, SIR.

WHEE.

THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF

A DUCK CALL IS THE REED.

IT'S GOTTA BE PERFECT.

I LIKE IT!

YOU GOTTA HAVE THE SOUNDS OF

DUCKS ENTRENCHED IN YOUR BRAIN.

YOU COMBINE THAT WITH

AERODYNAMICS AND A LOT OF TRIAL

AND ERROR.

SEE HOW IT FLUFFLES?

I'M NOT SURE IT'S GONNA MAKE

A RACKET.

WE NEED MORE AIR.

WE JUST BUILT THE WORLD'S

BIGGEST FART MACHINE.

HEY, YOU NEED TO CHECK THE

GUINNESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS

FOR THAT.

THERE'S A THIN LINE BETWEEN

A MALLARD HEN'S QUACK AND

A HUMAN'S FART.

THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS CADENCE

AND ODOR.

WE GOTTA MAKE THAT THING

VIBRATE.

WE'RE CLOSE.

WE ARE ON THE DOORSTEPS OF

HISTORY BEING MADE.

LEAVE IT OUT.

WE'LL COME BACK TOMORROW.

I SEE SOME MANSIONS BACK

THERE TOO.

WHOO, THAT ONE OF 'EM LOOKS LIKE

A CASTLE.

LOOKS LIKE A WHAT?

CASTLE.

I THOUGHT YOU SAID

HOLE.

MISS KAY.

HERE'S YOUR HOME.

3,400 SQUARE FEET, THREE

BATHROOM, TWO BEDROOM.

A BEAUTIFUL SWIMMING POOL.

THOUSANDS OF ACRES OF LAND FOR

YOU.

IT'S A GOLF COURSE.

YES.

A WHAT?

THIS WOULD BE THE ULTIMATE

WAY TO TORTURE PHIL ROBERTSON.

BUY A HOUSE ON A GOLF COURSE.

IF HE STEPS OUT ON HIS PORCH,

HE CAN'T SHOOT SOMETHING.

YOU TALK ABOUT PUTTING MISERY ON

A MAN.

GREG, LOOK HERE.

THIS THING FUNCTIONAL?

OH, YES.

BECAUSE I NEED TO USE THE

BATHROOM.

FOR A MAN THAT TRAVELS

EVERYWHERE HE GOES WITH A GALLON

OF ICE TEA AND A GLASS...

WHERE'S THE BATHROOM AT?

THERE IT IS, RIGHT THERE.

HEY, I'VE GOT TO MAKE A LOT OF

PIT STOPS.

MATTER OF FACT, I'M GONNA RUN...

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

THIS IS WHERE YOU CAN LIE

AROUND AND YOU CAN HAVE YOUR ICE

TEA, SI.

OH, I'LL ALWAYS HAVE MY ICE

TEA.

THIS IS OVER 5,000 ACRES.

THERE'S ONE PROBLEM WITH

THAT, GREG.

SOMEBODY OWNS THAT 5,000 ACRES.

AND THEY PUT A GOLF COURSE ON

IT.

YEP.

YEP.

YOU NEED TO BE ABLE TO TAKE

A LEAK IN YOUR YARD WITHOUT

ANYBODY SAYING, "WHAT'S HE

DOING?"

THINK ABOUT THAT.

WHEN YOU CAN'T EVEN TAKE A LEAK

IN YOUR YARD.

LOOK HERE.

WHAT'S THIS HERE, THE OUTHOUSE?

NO, THAT'S WHERE ALL THE

SUPPLIES ARE.

THAT'S A SUPPLY HOUSE.

A SURPRISE HOUSE?

SUPPLY.

SUPPLY.

WHAT IS THIS HERE?

A MINNOW POND?

A MENOPAUSE?

A MINNOW POND.

I'M TIRED OF BEING DRAGGED

AROUND BY GREG KNEAD.

PHIL, THIS IS WHERE YOU'RE

GONNA PUT YOU BOAR.

YEAH.

KNEAD KEEPS TELLING ME HOW GREAT

THE HOUSE IS.

IMAGINE. BOOM!

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

IT'S ALL A RUSE.

I'M GONNA PUT AN END TO

THE HOUSE HUNTING STUFF.

WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY, GREG, IS

I'M DONE.

SEE WHAT I'M SAYING?

PHIL, YOU'VE MADE THIS MONEY.

ENJOY WITH... WITH YOUR LOVELY

WIFE AND LOV... AND SI.

REAL ESTATERS, THEY'RE LIKE

A SNAKE IN THE GRASS.

HE'S DONE, HE'S GONE.

YEP. GOOD JOB.

HEY, YOU CHOP HIS HEAD OFF,

HE'LL STILL BITE YOU.

GREG KNEAD DOESN'T GIVE UP.

YEAH, SIT CLOSE TO YOUR

TELEPHONE.

WE'LL GIVE YOU A BUZZ.

IF THEY CAN JUST GET THE

BARREL TOGETHER, WE'RE GOOD.

HE JUST NEEDS TO MAKE IT

SMOOTHER.

THE PARTY'S TONIGHT AND WE

GOTTA FINISH THIS DUCK CALL.

HEY, MAC.

WITH MAC'S HELP, THIS THING

SHOULD BE LOOKING LIKE A DUCK

CALL IN NO TIME.

WHAT DO YOU HAVE THERE?

IT IS ACTUALLY GONNA BE THE

WORLD'S BIGGEST DUCK CALL EVER.

OKAY.

CAUSE WE GOTTA MAKE THIS

ROUND LIKE A DUCK CALL, NOT LIKE

A TREE TRUNK.

I CAN SET YOU GUYS UP ON A

MACHINE THAT WILL HANDLE THAT,

NO PROBLEM.

HOW DANGEROUS IS THAT GONNA

BE?

I MEAN, YOU COULD KNOCK A FEW

TEETH OUT, BUT, YOU KNOW, AS

LONG AS YOU'RE CAREFUL.

LOOK, I'M JUST LIKE ANY OTHER

REDNECK.

I LOVE HEAVY MACHINERY.

OOH, YEAH.

THAT LOOKS LIKE FUN, DON'T IT?

BUT IN THIS CASE, I'M GETTING

A WEE BIT NERVOUS.

I'M LOOKING FOR THE SHIELD

THAT GOES...

YEAH, THERE'S A SHIELD.

YOU FEEL A LITTLE SAFER?

I'M THINKING BIGGER THAN

THAT.

OH, YOU'RE THINKING BIGGER?

I'M GETTING A LITTLE NERVOUS.

I MEAN, I'M ABOUT AS NERVOUS AS

A LONG-TAILED CAT IN A ROOM FULL

OF ROCKING CHAIRS.

AND YOU JUST STICK THAT KNIFE

UP THERE?

WELL, YEAH.

NOTICE I'M HOLDING THIS REAL

TIGHT?

HOLY COW.

THIS MAY BE DANGEROUS.

LOOKS LIKE A BEAVER.

YEAH.

WE'RE TRYING TO SHAVE DOWN

THE BARREL FOR THE WORLD'S

BIGGEST DUCK CALL.

LOOKS LIKE A SPINNING DEATH TRAP

IF YOU ASK ME.

BEAVER IMPERSONATION.

HOLY COW.

MAC, YOU ALL RIGHT?

I THINK SO.

I DON'T SEE ANY BLOOD.

FINGERS ARE ALL RIGHT?

YOU'RE WATCHING SOMETHING

SPIN AROUND FAST, YOU'RE LIKE,

"OH, THIS IS COOL."

BOOM!

YOU'RE NOW IN A WAR MOVIE.

A GRENADE GOES OFF RIGHT NEXT TO

YOU AND EVERYTHING GETS INTO

SLOW MOTION AND PEOPLE ARE LIKE,

"DO I HAVE ALL MY BODY PARTS?"

WELL, MY LOG'S STILL INTACT.

WELL GOOD LUCK ON THAT,

'CAUSE THIS AIN'T GONNA WORK.

WELL, WE GONNA HAVE TO SAND

IT BY HAND.

WHEN'D Y'ALL SAY Y'ALL NEED

THIS BY?

TONIGHT.

WHOO.

THE CHANCES THAT WE'RE GONNA

GET THIS DONE ARE ABOUT AS GOOD

AS PHIL GOING TO A LADY GAGA

CONCERT.

PHIL AND GAGA?

UH-UH.

ALL RIGHT, JASE, I NEED TO GO

BREAK THE NEWS TO KORIE.

START SANDING THIS THING DOWN

AND TRY TO GET IT BACK TOGETHER.

WELL, I'M GETTING A HELMET.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S PUT ONE OF

THESE ON EACH TABLE.

OKAY.

THEY LOOK SO PRETTY.

THEY ARE PRETTY.

WHOO, MAN, THIS PLACE IS

COMING TOGETHER.

HEY, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

WHAT ABOUT THE DUCK CALL?

WHEN'S THAT COMING?

THERE'S A PROBLEM WITH

THE DUCK CALL.

IT BLEW UP.

IT EXPLODED ON THE LATHE.

OH, MY WORD.

WE COULD HAVE GOTTEN KILLED.

WILLIE, WE HAVE TO HAVE

THE DUCK CALL.

WE'VE GOT NEWS CREWS COMING.

WE WERE VIDEOING IT FOR THE

GUINNESS RECORDS AND EVERYTHING.

KORIE COULD CARE LESS WHETHER

I JUST GOT MY HEAD BLOWN OFF OR

NOT.

GO FIGURE IT OUT. COME ON.

ALL SHE'S THINKING ABOUT IS

THE PARTY.

ALL RIGHT, WE'LL DO OUR BEST.

I AIN'T MAKING NO PROMISES.

WILLIE.

YOU JUST DON'T ABRACADABRA

THE WORLD'S BIGGEST DUCK CALL.

I GOT NO CLUE WHAT TO DO NOW,

BUT IF ANYBODY CAN PULL THIS

OFF, IT'S JASE.

HE IS A MASTER CRAFTSMAN

DUCK CALL BUILDER.

WELL, THIS SANDPAPER FEELS

LIKE YOU COULD START A FIRE WITH

IT.

HEY, WHAT IS THIS?

WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING?

I'M SANDING THE DUCK CALL

DOWN.

BY HAND?

YEAH.

HAND SANDING?

WHAT ARE WE, BACK IN THE 1800s?

JASE, IT'S IN A FEW HOURS.

GET THE DADGUM POWER SANDER.

I WISH I'D HAVE THOUGHT OF

THAT.

YOU GOT A FEW HOURS.

GET THE POWER SANDER.

I GOT CRAP TO DO.

EVERYBODY IS EXPECTING TO SEE

THE WORLD'S BIGGEST DUCK CALL.

AND ALL MY HOPES AND DREAMS ARE

PINNED ON THE FOUR BRAINLESS

HORSEMEN.

DID MICHELANGELO BUILD THE

STATUE OF DAVID IN FOUR HOURS?

I DOUBT IT.

HE JUST DON'T GET IT.

AND HE DIDN'T HAVE POWER

TOOLS EITHER.

WELL, IT'S THE NIGHT OF THE

PARTY.

EVERYONE'S DRESSED UP.

PRESS IS HERE.

WE'RE TAKING PICTURES.

MY WIFE'S LOOKING SMOKING HOT.

BEARDS ARE LOOKING AWESOME.

JUST ONE THING'S MISSING.

HOW ARE YOU FEELING TONIGHT

ABOUT THE DUCK CALL?

TOTALLY CON... ABSOLUTELY

CONFIDENT.

I MAY NOT SURVIVE THIS ONE.

WE TESTED THIS THING AND

RESEARCHED IT FOR A LONG TIME.

GUINNESS, HERE WE COME.

I MEAN, IF WE DON'T PULL THIS

OFF, THE ROBERTSONS AND DUCK

COMMANDER ARE GONNA BE

THE LAUGHING STOCK OF THE WHOLE

TOWN.

JASE.

SO WE GOOD?

I DON'T KNOW.

WHEN I LEFT...

DOES IT BLOW?

I'M NOT SURE.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT

SURE?

I THOUGHT YOU WERE TESTING IT.

IT WOULDN'T WORK WITH THE AIR

COMPRESSOR ON THE NOZZLE.

SO W... I'LL GET UP HERE AND

UNVEIL IT AND WE DON'T EVEN KNOW

IF IT WORKS.

I GOT MARTIN ON IT.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'VE GOT

MARTIN? WHAT'S HE DOING?

WELL, I TOLD MARTIN TO GO GET

A LEAF BLOWER.

I THINK THAT'LL WORK.

A LEAF BLOWER?

WE'RE DEFINITELY SCREWED NOW.

THIS COULD BE THE MOST

EMBARRASSING SITUATION EVER.

THINK IT'S GONNA WORK?

IF THIS THING DOESN'T WORK, I'M

GONNA SHOVE THIS LEAF BLOWER UP

JASE'S BUTT.

IF I CAN HAVE YOUR ATTENTION

PLEASE.

FIRST OF ALL, I JUST WANNA SAY

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING.

40 YEARS.

TONIGHT, WE WANTED TO DO

SOMETHING THAT THE WORLD HAD

NEVER SEEN BEFORE.

A GUINNESS WORLD RECORD FOR

REAL, FOLKS.

FEAST YOUR EYES ON THE WORLD'S

BIGGEST DUCK CALL!

EVER!

SO, JASE, YOU READY?

LET'S GIVE IT A TRY.

I DON'T ASK FOR MUCH, BUT LET

THESE BEARDED, REDNECK IDIOTS

PULL OFF A MIRACLE TONIGHT.

THAT'S A BAD, BAD DEAL THERE.

BLOW IT!

IF I DON'T GET THIS DUCK CALL

WORKING, THIS CROWD MAY TURN

INTO A MOB.

All:

ONE MORE TIME!

MY REPUTATION'S ON THE LINE.

I'M GONNA LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT IF

THIS DOESN'T SOUND LIKE A DUCK.

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!

YEAH!

YEAH!

SOUNDS LIKE A DUCK!

I CANNOT BELIEVE JASE

ACTUALLY PULLED THIS OFF.

♪ HALLELUJAH ♪

SOUNDS LIKE A DUCK TO ME,

BABY!

IF I EVER RUN UP ON THE WORLD'S

LARGEST DUCK, I HAVE JUST

THE WEAPON.

GLASSES UP PLEASE.

BIG CHEERS FOR DUCK COMMANDER,

40 YEARS.

PARTY TIME!

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

AS CEO OF DUCK COMMANDER, I MAY

GET IN A LITTLE OVER MY HEAD

SOMETIMES.

BUT THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE

I BELIEVE IN MY FAMILY.

40 YEARS DIDN'T HAPPEN BY

CHANCE, AND EVEN THOUGH WE'VE

BEEN BLESSED WITH SUCCESS, PHIL,

KAY AND US BOYS ARE STILL THE

SAME PEOPLE WE WERE WHEN WE WERE

LIVING IN THAT OLD HOUSE.

NO MATTER HOW BIG THINGS GET,

AND THINGS CAN GET REAL BIG

AROUND HERE, IT'S NEVER CHANGED

WHO WE ARE.

I STILL THINK WE SHOULD HAVE

BLOWN SOMETHING TO SMITHEREENS,

JACK.