Duck Dynasty (2012–2017): Season 1, Episode 5 - Redneck Logic - full transcript
I WANT TO PLAN A TRIP TO
CANTON.
I LOVE IT.
I NEED SOME NEW FURNITURE.
WILLIE EMBARRASSED ME LAST
TIME WHEN HE BOUGHT THAT
HORSEHAIR COAT.
HE LOOK LIKE A FAT GUY IN A
LITTLE COAT?
NO, IT WAS LIKE A STINKY
HORSE ON A FAT MAN.
THAT'S WHAT IT WAS LIKE.
THERE HE IS.
OH, SPEAK OF THE DEVIL,
THERE HE IS.
KAY, I NEED TO HELP PHIL AT
THE LAND... I FORGOT MY BOOTS.
DOES HE HAVE AN EXTRA PAIR?
GO IN THERE.
YOU'LL FIND IT.
YOU'LL SEE 'EM.
KAY, HAVE YOU SEEN THIS ROOM?
I LIVE HERE.
OF COURSE I'VE SEEN THE ROOM.
KAY, THERE'S SO MUCH CRAP IN
HERE I CAN'T FIND NOTHING.
IT'S A LITTLE CLUTTERED.
THERE'S A PANDA.
STOP THROWING CRAP!
YOU'RE GONNA BREAK SOMETHING.
THAT'S GARBAGE.
I GET AFTER MOM ALL THE TIME.
AND IT'S JUST PLAYFUL, AND IT'S
JUST JOKING.
HEY, THAT'S A TYPEWRITER.
IF SHE WANTS TO FILL HER HOUSE
UP WITH A BUNCH OF STUFF, HEY.
BUT SHE DOES NEED TO HEAR IT,
THOUGH.
WHAT IS THIS?
YOU KNOW THE MAN THAT BRINGS
ME THE EGGS?
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO PUT 'EM
IN?
MAN, THIS IS GARBAGE.
MY THINGS ARE COLLECTIONS.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THEY SAY.
WHY DO YOU HAVE CLOTHES
LAYING THERE?
I GET A SHIRT FOR EVERY
AIRPORT I GO THROUGH.
GIVE ME THAT.
KAY, IT'S OUT OF CONTROL.
NO. NO, IT'S NOT.
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE?
WHAT?
YOU LOOK LIKE A HOARDER.
I DO HAVE HOARDING
TENDENCIES.
THEY SAID IT'S A MENTAL
DISORDER.
SO I MAY HAVE THAT.
WE HAVE MENTAL ILLNESS IN MY
FAMILY AND PHIL'S.
IT KINDA MAKES YOU SEE WHY THE
BOYS ARE LIKE THEY ARE.
CLEAN THIS CRAP UP.
IF HE BROKE THAT TYPEWRITER,
HE'S GONNA PAY FOR THAT.
MEET THE ROBERTSON CLAN.
THEY TURNED DUCK CALLS...
INTO A MULTIMILLION DOLLAR
EMPIRE.
BUT RUNNING A FAMILY BUSINESS IS
TOUGH WHEN THE FAMILY JUST WANTS
TO RUN WILD.
WHOO!
♪ YOU BEEN WALKIN' AROUND ♪
♪ ALL OF YOUR LIFE ♪
♪ THE BLOOD THAT YOU'RE ♪
♪ BORN IN IS SWEATIN' ♪
♪ YOU BEEN WORKING AND SLAVING ♪
♪ YOU'RE WHOLE LIFE AWAY ♪
BOYS, THIS IS WHAT I WAS
TALKING ABOUT.
I MEAN, IT'S NOT THAT BAD.
HOWEVER, WE NEED A REFURBISHING
OF IT.
MY IDEA OF HAPPINESS IS KILLING
THINGS...
BUP BUP BUP BUP BUP BUP BUP BUP.
SO DUCK BLINDS ARE A BIG THING
WITH ME.
ESPECIALLY THE ONE I'VE SPENT 20
YEARS SHOOTING DUCKS OUT OF.
LOOKS LIKE WE GOT US A SNAKE DEN
HERE.
THEY'VE ALL DENNED UP HERE.
I MEAN, IT CAN BE FIXED.
I KNOW YOU'RE SENTIMENTAL
TOWARD IT, BUT I'M JUST...
THE BEST THING TO DO IS JUST TO
LET IT GO, AND LET'S START OVER.
PHIL HAS, LIKE, 35 BLINDS
DOWN THERE.
BUT HE GETS REALLY SENTIMENTAL,
HE GETS HUNG UP ON ONE.
"BECAUSE BACK IN '87, WE SHOT
THAT WHATEVER OUT OF IT."
I'M, LIKE, "DAD, YOU'VE GOTTA
LET THESE THINGS GO."
WILLIE BOY AND JASE, SINCE
THEY WEREN'T IN ON THE BUILDING,
THEY CAN JUST COME IN AND SAY,
"HELL, LET'S GET RID OF IT."
YOU KNOW, COMES EASY IF YOU
WEREN'T DOWN THERE BUILDING THE
DOGGONE THING.
PHIL, THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO
DEAL WITH THIS BLIND.
HEY, RED, YOU GOT IT ALL
WIRED UP?
OH, YEAH, IT'S READY TO GO.
READY TO GO. NO MISTAKES?
NO MISTAKES.
LET'S DO THIS.
WILLIE HAS ALWAYS BEEN A
DESTRUCTIVE YOUNG MAN.
I COMPARE HIM TO A YOUNG 'COON.
WHAT HE CAN'T TEAR UP, HE CRAPS
ON.
BLOW THAT SUCKER UP.
FIRE IN THE HOLE.
WHAT HAPPENED?
WHAT HAPPENED, RED?
RED?
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
GO AHEAD, RED.
WHOA.
LET ME TELL YOU A LITTLE BIT
ABOUT REDNECK LOGIC.
IF YOU WANT TO TAKE SOMETHING
AWAY FROM HIM, JUST BLOW IT UP,
BECAUSE THEN HE'S GONNA BE SO
ENAMORED BY THE FIRE...
WHOO!
THAT HE'LL FORGET ALL ABOUT
WHAT HE'S LOSING.
I MEAN, YOU CAN BLOW HIS HOUSE
UP.
IF IT LOOKS COOL ENOUGH, HE'S
FINE WITH IT.
HEY.
WHERE YOU BEEN ALL DAY?
BLOWIN' DUCK BLINDS, AS MUCH
AS I HATE TO SAY IT.
YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO GET OVER
IT, WON'T YOU?
WILLIE, HE'S THE ONE THAT
CONCOCTED THAT SCHEME.
A REDNECK STUNT IF I EVER SEEN
ONE.
IT'S NEVER DULL BEING MARRIED
TO A ROBERTSON.
NEVER.
IT'S JUST LIKE, YOU KNOW, I'M
THE MAN, YOU'RE THE WOMAN.
WE'RE, LIKE, IN THE CAVE.
BUT NOT REALLY.
WE'RE IN MODERN TIMES.
THEY BLEW THAT SUCKER TO...
WELL, SPEAKING OF GETTING RID
OF THINGS, THAT RV OUT THERE...
IT'S UGLY, AND I WANT TO GET IT
OUT.
I'M GONNA HAVE A YARD SALE, AND
THAT'S GONNA BE THE FIRST THING
TO GO.
THAT IS UNLIKE YOU TO MOVE
STUFF OUT.
WELL, IT'S A NEW DAY,
DARLIN'.
WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE LAUGHING AT.
AS MUCH STUFF AS YOU'VE GOT
AROUND HERE, AND YOU'RE TALKING
ABOUT FIXIN' TO GET RID OF
SOME OF IT?
THAT'S RIGHT.
WELL, WHAT PEOPLE NEED TO
REALIZE ABOUT THE SOUTH...
EVERYTHING IS USEABLE.
ONE MAN'S JUNK IS ANOTHER MAN'S
TREASURE.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
LET ME GIVE YOU A JOB.
YOU AND JIMMY RED ARE GONNA GO
OUT THERE AND GET US SOME
SQUIRRELS.
I'M ON IT.
I'M GOING SQUIRREL HUNTING.
I LOVE FRIED SQUIRREL.
I ALWAYS HAVE SINCE I WAS A
GIRL.
AND ESPECIALLY THE SQUIRREL
BRAINS, WHICH PHIL LOVES TO TELL
EVERYBODY IN THE WHOLE WORLD
THAT, 'CAUSE THEY ALWAYS GO,
"EWW, GROSS!
THAT'S HORRIBLE."
BUT I DO LIKE 'EM, I CAN'T HELP
IT... THEY'RE GOOD.
SHE WANTS TO FRY UP SOME
RIGHT QUICK.
THE FIRST TIME I WENT SQUIRREL
HUNTING, I WAS SIX YEARS OLD.
GOTTA BE A GOOD SHOT 'CAUSE THEY
QUICK, AND THEY'RE LITTLE.
YOU NEVER WANNA MAKE THE COOK
MAD.
WHEN THE GRUB RUNS OUT, THINGS
GET TOUGH AROUND THE HOUSE.
GOT ANOTHER ONE, RED.
THEY SLICKED ME THE FIRST COUPLE
HOURS, BUT YOU CAN'T EVEN SPELL
SQUIRREL WITHOUT "SI."
AND THAT'S ME.
YOU DON'T REALIZE HOW LONG
I'VE WORKED ON THAT.
ME, I'M THE CEO OF THE
BUSINESS.
JASE, HE TUNES AND DESIGNS ALL
THE CALLS.
I MEAN, HE IS AN ARTISTE.
HE'S LIKE A DUCK WHISPERER.
HE SPEAKS DUCKANESE.
ONCE YOU GET THAT SOUND,
YOU GOT IT.
JASE INVENTED A DUCK CALL
CALLED THE "TRIPLE THREAT."
IT'S GOT THREE REEDS INSTEAD OF
TWO.
BUT IT TOOK HIM SIX MONTHS TO
COME UP WITH ONE.
I WENT OUT AND SOLD THOUSANDS.
AND WE NEED THOUSANDS IN OUR BIN
TO SHIP OUT.
WHAT, EXACTLY, IS THE PROBLEM?
WHY IS IT TAKING SO LONG?
SI HAS TO DO THE REEDS.
YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW WHAT
ALL HE'S DOING UP HERE, BUT ON
THE DOUBLE-REED SYSTEM, I COULD
DO 1,000 A DAY IN EIGHT HOURS.
500 A DAY.
SI, YOU AIN'T EVER WORKED
EIGHT HOURS IN THE DAY.
HEY, LOOK.
HOW MUCH OF THAT WAS NAP
TIME?
LOOK HERE, DON'T GET IN ON
THE NAP, BOYS.
EVERYBODY'S SAYING IT'S JUST
GONNA TAKE TIME.
HOW MUCH TIME IS THAT?
HEY.
I FEEL SORRY FOR WILLIE, IN A
WAY.
HE'S GOT OF HEADACHES 'CAUSE
HE'S THE CEO OF THE BUSINESS,
OKAY?
BUT WHEN IT COMES TO ME, HE'S MY
NEPHEW, I'M HIS UNCLE, AND, HEY,
I'M GONNA TAKE ME A GOOD
TWO-HOUR NAP.
MAYBE THREE.
IT'S LIKE THE STORY OF THE
LITTLE RED HEN.
EVERYBODY WANTS TO EAT THE PIE,
BUT NOBODY WANTS TO HELP MAKE
THE PIE.
WE NEED, LIKE, A NUMBER.
WE NEED, LIKE, THIS DAY, THIS
DAY WE'LL HAVE 'EM HERE.
THIS IS WHEN IT'S GONNA BE ON
THE MARKET.
BALLPARK, GUESSTIMATE, ANYONE?
HEY.
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT.
UH-OH.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
MY DAD NEVER COMES TO THE
WAREHOUSE.
I MEAN, NEVER.
WHEN HE COMES IN THE DOOR, YOU
KNOW SOMETHING'S UP.
UH-OH.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
MY DAD NEVER COMES TO THE
WAREHOUSE.
I MEAN, NEVER.
WHEN HE COMES IN THE DOOR, YOU
KNOW SOMETHING'S UP.
I BEEN THINKING.
I HAVE COME UP WITH A SOLUTION
FOR THAT STUNT YOU PULLED
BLOWING MY DUCK BLIND UP.
THAT NEEDED TO HAPPEN.
WE'VE GOT TO REPLACE THAT
DUCK BLIND.
AS YOU KNOW, YOUR MAMA'S BEEN ON
MY BACK ABOUT THAT RAGGEDY RV
PARKED IN MY YARD.
WE'RE GOING TO TAKE THAT THING,
STICK IT ABOUT 20 FOOT UP IN
THERE ON A PLATFORM, AND WE'RE
STANDING THERE SHOOTING DUCKS
OUT OF IT.
OH, GOOD LORD.
HERE WE GO.
I CAN SEE THAT RV 20 FEET UP,
CAMOUFLAGE NET, BRUSHED UP.
I MEAN, I CAN SEE IT AS
SOMETHING YOU'D SAY, "LOOKY
HERE, LOOKY HERE!
GOOD TIMES HAVE COME OUR WAY.
I MEAN, THIS IS LIKE SOME KINDA
DEAL OUTTA HOLLYWOOD."
THINK ABOUT IT, BOYS.
IT WILL BE THE MOTHER OF ALL
DUCK BLINDS.
OH, MY GOSH.
HERE WE GO.
MY FAMILY IS ONLY INTERESTED IN
HUNTING AND BEING OUT THERE IN
THE WOODS.
BUT THAT DOESN'T PAY THE BILLS.
IT'S NOT A BAD IDEA.
IT'S A TREE HOUSE FOR ADULTS.
AN RV IN THE TREES?
I THOUGHT IT WAS BRILLIANT.
ALL HANDS ON DECK...
OH, MY GOSH.
FOR THE MOTHER OF ALL DUCK
BLINDS.
SEE YOU IN THE WOODS.
BUT WE'VE GOT WORK TO DO.
SO MUCH FOR THE DUCK CALLS.
HERE'S THE DEAL, PHIL STARTED
THE COMPANY.
I MEAN, BEHIND MY NAME IS "CEO,"
BUT IN REALITY, PHIL'S GONNA GET
WHAT HE WANTS.
THIS IS THE WORST IDEA IN THE
HISTORY OF DUCK COMMANDER.
THIS WILL BE OUR NEW HOME,
BOYS.
PHIL, THIS IS IN WORSE SHAPE
THAN THE ONE WE GOT RID OF.
THIS IS NICE, MAN.
OH, YEAH, REAL NICE, PHIL.
LOOK AT THIS.
I MEAN, YOU GOT RUNNING WATER.
PHIL, THIS IS THE NASTIEST
THING.
OH!
HOW'D HE GET IN THERE?
IT WAS A DADGUM POSSUM.
IT WAS JUST AN OLD POSSUM
THAT HAD GOTTEN UP IN THAT RV,
AND ON A SPUR OF THE MOMENT I
SAID, "WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU
THREW A POSSUM ON A MAN?"
WE GOT A MAN DOWN!
MARRIED A YUPPIE GIRL, LIVING
IN THE SUBDIVISION...
THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU.
A POSSUM WILL SCARE YOU.
MY QUESTION IS HOW ARE YOU
GONNA GET IT IN THE TREES?
I GOT REINFORCEMENTS COMING.
I HEAR SOME KIND OF
MACHINERY, BOYS.
BEING A WEALTHY REDNECK DOES
HAVE ITS ADVANTAGES.
THE CAVALRY HAS ARRIVED.
'CAUSE NO MATTER HOW DUMB AN
IDEA IS...
ALL RIGHT, BOYS...
LET'S GET TO WORK.
WE CAN ALWAYS HIRE AN ENTIRE
REDNECK ARMY TO MAKE SURE THE
JOB GETS DONE.
PHIL DIDN'T BELIEVE ME WHEN I
TOLD HIM I WAS GONNA HAVE A YARD
SALE AND GET RID OF ALL THAT
JUNK.
BUT I THOUGHT, WELL, I'VE LIVED
WITH THIS JUNK IN THIS HOUSE FOR
YEARS, SO WE'RE GONNA DO IT, AND
THAT'S THE WAY IT'S GONNA GO.
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT ON
THESE GUNS RIGHT HERE?
I WOULD SAY $20.
$20?
THESE GUNS ARE ABOUT 100 YEARS
OLD.
DOES THAT SOUND LIKE A GOOD
PRICE TO YOU?
YEAH, THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
MY DAUGHTER-IN-LAWS WILL BE
SO HAPPY TO HELP ME WITH THIS
BECAUSE THEY WANT TO GET RID OF
THE JUNK.
AWW, JJ.
JJ, YOU GOTTA GO.
WHAT IS A FLY SWATTER...
THAT CHAIR IS THE MOST
DISGUSTING THING.
I MEAN, IT STINKS.
THERE'S A FEW DOG TOYS.
IT'S GOT DUCK FEATHERS ON IT.
THERE'S NO TELLING HOW MUCH
FOOD, PHIL'S BEARD HAIR,
INSECTS...
THAT CHAIR IS A HEALTH HAZARD,
SO IT'S GOTTA GO.
PHIL'S ALWAYS, LIKE, "DON'T
TOUCH MY STUFF.
DON'T TOUCH MY STUFF."
HE'S GONNA BE MAD.
ZACH, GET UP THERE.
PUT A SCREW IN IT.
WILLIE THE CEO LOVES TO WORK
IN THE BUSINESS, MAKE MONEY,
MAKE YOUR BUSINESS SUCCESSFUL.
LEVEL ENOUGH.
WILLIE THE CEO IS NOT GONNA GO
ALL-OUT TO MAKE SURE THAT A
TRAILER GETS UP IN THE AIR TEN
FEET.
MY HANDS ARE CLEAN OF THIS WHOLE
DEAL.
I NEVER SEEN A BUNCH OF
REDNECKS ACCOMPLISH SO MUCH SO
QUICKLY.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I CAN'T STAND UP.
MY KNEE'S HURTING.
I MEAN, IS THAT...
IS HE KIDDING?
FIVE MINUTES BEFORE WE
STARTED WORKING, AND YOU GOT A
CAREER-ENDING KNEE INJURY.
I HURT IT WHEN HE THREW THE
POSSUM AT ME.
WILLIE DOESN'T LIKE MANUAL
LABOR.
HE DOESN'T LIKE TO SWEAT.
IT'S BEEN MY STUDIED OPINION
THAT ONCE YOU GET THE TITLE
"CEO," IF YOU INTERJECT MANUAL
LABOR, INJURIES BEGIN TO OCCUR.
WHAT YOU OUGHT TO DO IS GET YOU
A CREW.
Y'ALL GET OVER AND YOU GET IT
PAINTED BY THE TIME WE GET THIS
THING KNOCKED OUT.
I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN STAND
UP AND PAINT.
YOU CAN DO THIS.
HE'S LIKE A BLISTER...
IT SHOWS UP WHEN THE WORK'S ALL
GONE.
COME AND GET IT.
THE GARAGE SALE IS OFFICIALLY
ON.
YOU LIKE IT? GOOD.
EVEN WHEN YOU HAVE A GARAGE
SALE, IT'S LIKE ANY OTHER THING
I HAVE AT MY HOUSE...
IT'S ALWAYS FOOD INVOLVED.
ALWAYS.
I LOVE MEETING NEW PEOPLE.
COME BACK AND SEE ME.
A PARTY'S NOT A PARTY WITHOUT
JAMBALAYA.
THANK YOU.
HEY, UNCLE SI.
YEAH?
YOU ABOUT TO LOSE YOUR CUP.
OH, NO, WILLIE, I AIN'T GONNA
LOSE THIS CUP.
I SPENT 24 1/2 YEARS IN THE
MILITARY, AND HALF THE PEOPLE
DIDN'T KNOW MY NAME.
BUT WHEN THEY SAID, "OH, YEAH,
YOU KNOW HIM.
IT'S ALWAYS THAT GUY THAT COMES
TO FORMATION WITH THAT
TUPPERWARE GLASS FULL OF ICED
TEA IN HIS HAND."
SO WHERE ALL HAS THAT CUP
BEEN?
LET'S SEE, FORT POLK,
LOUISIANA, FORT KNOX, KENTUCKY.
GERMANY.
THREE OR FOUR PLACES OVER THERE.
VIETNAM.
MAMA SENT IT PACKED IN A CARE
PACKAGE WITH A TUPPERWARE GLASS
IN IT IN '68, WHEN I WAS IN
VIETNAM.
DO YOU WASH IT IN THE
DISHWASHER?
NO, I BLEACH IT.
YOU WASH YOUR DISHES IN
BLEACH?
THIS IS MY TRADEMARK.
THAT'S SOME KIND OF
COLLECTOR'S ITEM.
THERE'S THREE THINGS I TRAVEL
WITH.
ONE OF 'EM IS THIS CUP.
THE OTHER IS A GALLON JUG OF
TEA.
AND THEN THE FINAL AND MOST
IMPORTANT THING IS THE BIBLE.
I NEVER LEAVE HOME WITHOUT THEM
THREE THINGS.
WHAT ABOUT A WEAPON?
WELL, HEY, THAT'S NUMBER
FOUR.
PERFECT.
BOY, I'M PROUD OF THAT JOB Y'ALL
DID THERE.
BOYS, IT LOOKS LIKE A MILLION
DOLLARS.
LET'S RAISE IT UP.
I'M A DUCK BLIND BUILDER FROM
WAY BACK.
BUT THIS ONE... IS A LITTLE
DIFFERENT, LET ME PUT IT THAT
WAY.
THAT RV IS JUST A PIECE OF
JUNK.
IF ONE SCREW FALLS OUT OF IT,
ALL THE WALLS WILL FALL OUT, AND
IT'LL JUST TOPPLE OVER RIGHT
THERE.
GOOD LUCK GETTING THAT THING IN
THE AIR.
HEY, ARE WE GONNA LIFT THIS
THING UP AND PUT IT UP THERE OR
NOT?
SI, WHY ARE YOU SAYING "HEY"
EVERY SENTENCE?
NO, NO. HEY.
WHAT DOES "HEY" MEAN?
I'M JUST WONDERING.
Y'ALL GIVE IT THE MEANING
THAT YOU WANT IT TO HAVE.
HEY.
THE WORD "HEY" IS LIKE A FABRIC
WOVEN INTO SI'S CHARACTER.
HEY, OWEN, LET'S GO.
HEY!
THESE CLOWNS, HEY, THEY DON'T
KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING.
HE JUST "HEYed" AGAIN.
HEY.
HEY.
IT'S AUTOMATIC.
I SAY HEY. HEY.
HEY CAN MEAN YES, HEY CAN MEAN
MAYBE, HEY CAN MEAN NO.
HEY CAN MEAN NEXT WEEK.
THE BOTTOM LINE IS YOU GOTTA
UNDERSTAND ME TO UNDERSTAND HEY.
HEY. HEY. HEY!
LET'S GET IT DONE, BOYS.
OH, YEAH!
SMOOTH, STEADY AS SHE GOES.
ALL RIGHT, EASE ON DOWN.
WATCH THE EXTENSION.
THERE YOU GO, PICK IT UP A
LITTLE BIT AND THEN MOVE ON OUT.
NOW WE'RE COOKING WITH PEANUT
OIL!
HEY.
HEY!
HEY.
COME ON IN, BOYS.
WHAT'S THIS? HUH?
WE GOT HEAT.
WHAT ABOUT THAT?
WE CAN COOK.
MICROWAVE.
THAT WORKS.
COFFEE MAKER. HUH?
MY HOUSE ISN'T THIS NICE.
IT'S A WOODED GETAWAY.
NOW, THAT WAS MORE WILLIE'S
DEPARTMENT... DECORATING.
I LIKE IT IN THERE.
IT'S NICE.
BUT THIS IS MORE NICE.
HEY, THIS IS A GOOD VIEW.
I'M GLAD YOU BLEW IT UP,
WILL.
I HEAR YA.
I BET I COULD SELL ONE OR TWO OF
THESE.
THANK Y'ALL.
ALL RIGHT, SEE Y'ALL LATER.
SOMEBODY ACTUALLY BOUGHT THAT
CHAIR.
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST GONNA GO
TO THE DUMP.
BUT THEY ACTUALLY BOUGHT IT.
SOMETIMES IT AMAZES ME WHAT
PEOPLE WILL SPEND GOOD MONEY ON.
I KINDA LIKE THAT SQUIRREL
THERE.
WELL, I CAN SELL YOU THAT
SQUIRREL.
I GOT ANOTHER SQUIRREL I CAN
PUT HIM BESIDE.
WOULD YOU TAKE $5 FOR HIM?
I'LL TAKE $5.
YOU WOULD?
YOU CAN HAVE IT FOR $5.
ALL RIGHTY.
THAT LOOKED LIKE MY CHAIR.
I KNOW THAT'S MY SQUIRREL.
HEY, MOUNTAIN MAN.
HEY, WILLIE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY
SQUIRREL?
I BOUGHT IT AT A GARAGE SALE
KORIE'S HAVING DOWN THE ROAD.
THAT'S MY SQUIRREL.
I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS YOUR
SQUIRREL.
YEAH, THAT'S MY SQUIRREL.
WELL, I GAVE $5 FOR IT.
WELL, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, I'M
GONNA GIVE YOU $10, AND I'M
TAKING IT BACK.
I'D RATHER HAVE THE SQUIRREL,
WILLIE.
LET ME REPHRASE THIS, I'M
GONNA GIVE YOU $10, AND THIS
DEAL'S OVER.
I APOLOGIZE FOR THE
INCONVENIENCE.
HEY, MOUNTAIN MAN.
HEY.
HEY, MOUNTAIN MAN.
WHAT IN THE WORLD'S ALL THIS?
HMM.
HEY.
MISS KAY, TELL ME THAT WAS
NOT MY CHAIR HEADING UP THE ROAD
WITH THEM HIPPIE GIRLS.
I WOULD SAY IT'S KIND OF A SHOCK
TO A MAN'S SYSTEM, YOU KNOW,
WHEN SOME OF HIS STUFF IS OUT IN
THE YARD BEING PAWNED OFF TO THE
LOCAL REDNECKS.
47 YEARS MARRIED TO YOUR MAMA.
GETTIN' RID OF HIS CHAIR'S LIKE
GETTING RID OF HIS DOG.
I'VE BEEN MARRIED TO PHIL
SINCE I WAS 16.
HE ALWAYS HAS TROUBLE LETTING GO
OF THINGS AND ANY KIND OF
CHANGE.
IT STUNK.
WE HAD A GARAGE SALE.
WE GOT RID OF THE JUNK.
I DIDN'T CONSIDER MY CHAIR,
AT THIS POINT, TO BE RUMMAGE.
HEY, BUDDY, I'LL GET YOU A
NEW CHAIR.
HOW 'BOUT THAT?
NOW WE'RE COOKIN' WITH PEANUT
OIL.
THERE YOU GO.
WOMEN ARE LIKE LABRADOR
RETRIEVERS.
YOU KNOW, THEY ALL HAVE QUIRKS.
BUT YOU STAY MARRIED TO ONE 45,
50 YEARS, YOU LEARN TO GO WITH
THE QUIRKS.
HOW MUCH DID Y'ALL MAKE?
ALMOST $600.
I WANT $10 OF IT BACK, 'CAUSE
I JUST HAD TO BUY THIS BACK.
HOW 'BOUT Y'ALL GO CLEAN UP
AND GET READY FOR SUPPER.
I'M ON MY WAY.
FATHER, WE THANK YOU FOR THE
WOODS, WE THANK YOU FOR THE
WATER, AND WE THANK YOU FOR ALL
THE THINGS THAT LIVE IN THEM.
THANK YOU FOR BLESSING US
TONIGHT, ESPECIALLY WITH THIS
GOOD MEAL.
All: AMEN.
LET'S GET INTO SOME OF THESE
BUSHY TAILS.
PEOPLE ARE NATURE'S NUMBER
ONE CREATURE OF HABIT.
WE TEND TO GET COMFORTABLE,
STUCK IN OUR WAYS, AND FEAR
CHANGE.
WE LIKE TO HOLD ON TO OLD THINGS
IN ORDER TO HOLD ON TO OLD
MEMORIES WHEN, USUALLY, THEY
KEEP US FROM MAKING NEW ONES.
SOMETIMES YOU GOTTA BITE THE
BULLET AND MAKE A CLEAN BREAK
FROM THE PAST TO START A FRESH
BEGINNING.
HEY, UNCLE SI.
HEY.
Men: HEY... HEY... HEY.
CANTON.
I LOVE IT.
I NEED SOME NEW FURNITURE.
WILLIE EMBARRASSED ME LAST
TIME WHEN HE BOUGHT THAT
HORSEHAIR COAT.
HE LOOK LIKE A FAT GUY IN A
LITTLE COAT?
NO, IT WAS LIKE A STINKY
HORSE ON A FAT MAN.
THAT'S WHAT IT WAS LIKE.
THERE HE IS.
OH, SPEAK OF THE DEVIL,
THERE HE IS.
KAY, I NEED TO HELP PHIL AT
THE LAND... I FORGOT MY BOOTS.
DOES HE HAVE AN EXTRA PAIR?
GO IN THERE.
YOU'LL FIND IT.
YOU'LL SEE 'EM.
KAY, HAVE YOU SEEN THIS ROOM?
I LIVE HERE.
OF COURSE I'VE SEEN THE ROOM.
KAY, THERE'S SO MUCH CRAP IN
HERE I CAN'T FIND NOTHING.
IT'S A LITTLE CLUTTERED.
THERE'S A PANDA.
STOP THROWING CRAP!
YOU'RE GONNA BREAK SOMETHING.
THAT'S GARBAGE.
I GET AFTER MOM ALL THE TIME.
AND IT'S JUST PLAYFUL, AND IT'S
JUST JOKING.
HEY, THAT'S A TYPEWRITER.
IF SHE WANTS TO FILL HER HOUSE
UP WITH A BUNCH OF STUFF, HEY.
BUT SHE DOES NEED TO HEAR IT,
THOUGH.
WHAT IS THIS?
YOU KNOW THE MAN THAT BRINGS
ME THE EGGS?
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO PUT 'EM
IN?
MAN, THIS IS GARBAGE.
MY THINGS ARE COLLECTIONS.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THEY SAY.
WHY DO YOU HAVE CLOTHES
LAYING THERE?
I GET A SHIRT FOR EVERY
AIRPORT I GO THROUGH.
GIVE ME THAT.
KAY, IT'S OUT OF CONTROL.
NO. NO, IT'S NOT.
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE?
WHAT?
YOU LOOK LIKE A HOARDER.
I DO HAVE HOARDING
TENDENCIES.
THEY SAID IT'S A MENTAL
DISORDER.
SO I MAY HAVE THAT.
WE HAVE MENTAL ILLNESS IN MY
FAMILY AND PHIL'S.
IT KINDA MAKES YOU SEE WHY THE
BOYS ARE LIKE THEY ARE.
CLEAN THIS CRAP UP.
IF HE BROKE THAT TYPEWRITER,
HE'S GONNA PAY FOR THAT.
MEET THE ROBERTSON CLAN.
THEY TURNED DUCK CALLS...
INTO A MULTIMILLION DOLLAR
EMPIRE.
BUT RUNNING A FAMILY BUSINESS IS
TOUGH WHEN THE FAMILY JUST WANTS
TO RUN WILD.
WHOO!
♪ YOU BEEN WALKIN' AROUND ♪
♪ ALL OF YOUR LIFE ♪
♪ THE BLOOD THAT YOU'RE ♪
♪ BORN IN IS SWEATIN' ♪
♪ YOU BEEN WORKING AND SLAVING ♪
♪ YOU'RE WHOLE LIFE AWAY ♪
BOYS, THIS IS WHAT I WAS
TALKING ABOUT.
I MEAN, IT'S NOT THAT BAD.
HOWEVER, WE NEED A REFURBISHING
OF IT.
MY IDEA OF HAPPINESS IS KILLING
THINGS...
BUP BUP BUP BUP BUP BUP BUP BUP.
SO DUCK BLINDS ARE A BIG THING
WITH ME.
ESPECIALLY THE ONE I'VE SPENT 20
YEARS SHOOTING DUCKS OUT OF.
LOOKS LIKE WE GOT US A SNAKE DEN
HERE.
THEY'VE ALL DENNED UP HERE.
I MEAN, IT CAN BE FIXED.
I KNOW YOU'RE SENTIMENTAL
TOWARD IT, BUT I'M JUST...
THE BEST THING TO DO IS JUST TO
LET IT GO, AND LET'S START OVER.
PHIL HAS, LIKE, 35 BLINDS
DOWN THERE.
BUT HE GETS REALLY SENTIMENTAL,
HE GETS HUNG UP ON ONE.
"BECAUSE BACK IN '87, WE SHOT
THAT WHATEVER OUT OF IT."
I'M, LIKE, "DAD, YOU'VE GOTTA
LET THESE THINGS GO."
WILLIE BOY AND JASE, SINCE
THEY WEREN'T IN ON THE BUILDING,
THEY CAN JUST COME IN AND SAY,
"HELL, LET'S GET RID OF IT."
YOU KNOW, COMES EASY IF YOU
WEREN'T DOWN THERE BUILDING THE
DOGGONE THING.
PHIL, THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO
DEAL WITH THIS BLIND.
HEY, RED, YOU GOT IT ALL
WIRED UP?
OH, YEAH, IT'S READY TO GO.
READY TO GO. NO MISTAKES?
NO MISTAKES.
LET'S DO THIS.
WILLIE HAS ALWAYS BEEN A
DESTRUCTIVE YOUNG MAN.
I COMPARE HIM TO A YOUNG 'COON.
WHAT HE CAN'T TEAR UP, HE CRAPS
ON.
BLOW THAT SUCKER UP.
FIRE IN THE HOLE.
WHAT HAPPENED?
WHAT HAPPENED, RED?
RED?
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
GO AHEAD, RED.
WHOA.
LET ME TELL YOU A LITTLE BIT
ABOUT REDNECK LOGIC.
IF YOU WANT TO TAKE SOMETHING
AWAY FROM HIM, JUST BLOW IT UP,
BECAUSE THEN HE'S GONNA BE SO
ENAMORED BY THE FIRE...
WHOO!
THAT HE'LL FORGET ALL ABOUT
WHAT HE'S LOSING.
I MEAN, YOU CAN BLOW HIS HOUSE
UP.
IF IT LOOKS COOL ENOUGH, HE'S
FINE WITH IT.
HEY.
WHERE YOU BEEN ALL DAY?
BLOWIN' DUCK BLINDS, AS MUCH
AS I HATE TO SAY IT.
YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO GET OVER
IT, WON'T YOU?
WILLIE, HE'S THE ONE THAT
CONCOCTED THAT SCHEME.
A REDNECK STUNT IF I EVER SEEN
ONE.
IT'S NEVER DULL BEING MARRIED
TO A ROBERTSON.
NEVER.
IT'S JUST LIKE, YOU KNOW, I'M
THE MAN, YOU'RE THE WOMAN.
WE'RE, LIKE, IN THE CAVE.
BUT NOT REALLY.
WE'RE IN MODERN TIMES.
THEY BLEW THAT SUCKER TO...
WELL, SPEAKING OF GETTING RID
OF THINGS, THAT RV OUT THERE...
IT'S UGLY, AND I WANT TO GET IT
OUT.
I'M GONNA HAVE A YARD SALE, AND
THAT'S GONNA BE THE FIRST THING
TO GO.
THAT IS UNLIKE YOU TO MOVE
STUFF OUT.
WELL, IT'S A NEW DAY,
DARLIN'.
WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE LAUGHING AT.
AS MUCH STUFF AS YOU'VE GOT
AROUND HERE, AND YOU'RE TALKING
ABOUT FIXIN' TO GET RID OF
SOME OF IT?
THAT'S RIGHT.
WELL, WHAT PEOPLE NEED TO
REALIZE ABOUT THE SOUTH...
EVERYTHING IS USEABLE.
ONE MAN'S JUNK IS ANOTHER MAN'S
TREASURE.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
LET ME GIVE YOU A JOB.
YOU AND JIMMY RED ARE GONNA GO
OUT THERE AND GET US SOME
SQUIRRELS.
I'M ON IT.
I'M GOING SQUIRREL HUNTING.
I LOVE FRIED SQUIRREL.
I ALWAYS HAVE SINCE I WAS A
GIRL.
AND ESPECIALLY THE SQUIRREL
BRAINS, WHICH PHIL LOVES TO TELL
EVERYBODY IN THE WHOLE WORLD
THAT, 'CAUSE THEY ALWAYS GO,
"EWW, GROSS!
THAT'S HORRIBLE."
BUT I DO LIKE 'EM, I CAN'T HELP
IT... THEY'RE GOOD.
SHE WANTS TO FRY UP SOME
RIGHT QUICK.
THE FIRST TIME I WENT SQUIRREL
HUNTING, I WAS SIX YEARS OLD.
GOTTA BE A GOOD SHOT 'CAUSE THEY
QUICK, AND THEY'RE LITTLE.
YOU NEVER WANNA MAKE THE COOK
MAD.
WHEN THE GRUB RUNS OUT, THINGS
GET TOUGH AROUND THE HOUSE.
GOT ANOTHER ONE, RED.
THEY SLICKED ME THE FIRST COUPLE
HOURS, BUT YOU CAN'T EVEN SPELL
SQUIRREL WITHOUT "SI."
AND THAT'S ME.
YOU DON'T REALIZE HOW LONG
I'VE WORKED ON THAT.
ME, I'M THE CEO OF THE
BUSINESS.
JASE, HE TUNES AND DESIGNS ALL
THE CALLS.
I MEAN, HE IS AN ARTISTE.
HE'S LIKE A DUCK WHISPERER.
HE SPEAKS DUCKANESE.
ONCE YOU GET THAT SOUND,
YOU GOT IT.
JASE INVENTED A DUCK CALL
CALLED THE "TRIPLE THREAT."
IT'S GOT THREE REEDS INSTEAD OF
TWO.
BUT IT TOOK HIM SIX MONTHS TO
COME UP WITH ONE.
I WENT OUT AND SOLD THOUSANDS.
AND WE NEED THOUSANDS IN OUR BIN
TO SHIP OUT.
WHAT, EXACTLY, IS THE PROBLEM?
WHY IS IT TAKING SO LONG?
SI HAS TO DO THE REEDS.
YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW WHAT
ALL HE'S DOING UP HERE, BUT ON
THE DOUBLE-REED SYSTEM, I COULD
DO 1,000 A DAY IN EIGHT HOURS.
500 A DAY.
SI, YOU AIN'T EVER WORKED
EIGHT HOURS IN THE DAY.
HEY, LOOK.
HOW MUCH OF THAT WAS NAP
TIME?
LOOK HERE, DON'T GET IN ON
THE NAP, BOYS.
EVERYBODY'S SAYING IT'S JUST
GONNA TAKE TIME.
HOW MUCH TIME IS THAT?
HEY.
I FEEL SORRY FOR WILLIE, IN A
WAY.
HE'S GOT OF HEADACHES 'CAUSE
HE'S THE CEO OF THE BUSINESS,
OKAY?
BUT WHEN IT COMES TO ME, HE'S MY
NEPHEW, I'M HIS UNCLE, AND, HEY,
I'M GONNA TAKE ME A GOOD
TWO-HOUR NAP.
MAYBE THREE.
IT'S LIKE THE STORY OF THE
LITTLE RED HEN.
EVERYBODY WANTS TO EAT THE PIE,
BUT NOBODY WANTS TO HELP MAKE
THE PIE.
WE NEED, LIKE, A NUMBER.
WE NEED, LIKE, THIS DAY, THIS
DAY WE'LL HAVE 'EM HERE.
THIS IS WHEN IT'S GONNA BE ON
THE MARKET.
BALLPARK, GUESSTIMATE, ANYONE?
HEY.
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT.
UH-OH.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
MY DAD NEVER COMES TO THE
WAREHOUSE.
I MEAN, NEVER.
WHEN HE COMES IN THE DOOR, YOU
KNOW SOMETHING'S UP.
UH-OH.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
MY DAD NEVER COMES TO THE
WAREHOUSE.
I MEAN, NEVER.
WHEN HE COMES IN THE DOOR, YOU
KNOW SOMETHING'S UP.
I BEEN THINKING.
I HAVE COME UP WITH A SOLUTION
FOR THAT STUNT YOU PULLED
BLOWING MY DUCK BLIND UP.
THAT NEEDED TO HAPPEN.
WE'VE GOT TO REPLACE THAT
DUCK BLIND.
AS YOU KNOW, YOUR MAMA'S BEEN ON
MY BACK ABOUT THAT RAGGEDY RV
PARKED IN MY YARD.
WE'RE GOING TO TAKE THAT THING,
STICK IT ABOUT 20 FOOT UP IN
THERE ON A PLATFORM, AND WE'RE
STANDING THERE SHOOTING DUCKS
OUT OF IT.
OH, GOOD LORD.
HERE WE GO.
I CAN SEE THAT RV 20 FEET UP,
CAMOUFLAGE NET, BRUSHED UP.
I MEAN, I CAN SEE IT AS
SOMETHING YOU'D SAY, "LOOKY
HERE, LOOKY HERE!
GOOD TIMES HAVE COME OUR WAY.
I MEAN, THIS IS LIKE SOME KINDA
DEAL OUTTA HOLLYWOOD."
THINK ABOUT IT, BOYS.
IT WILL BE THE MOTHER OF ALL
DUCK BLINDS.
OH, MY GOSH.
HERE WE GO.
MY FAMILY IS ONLY INTERESTED IN
HUNTING AND BEING OUT THERE IN
THE WOODS.
BUT THAT DOESN'T PAY THE BILLS.
IT'S NOT A BAD IDEA.
IT'S A TREE HOUSE FOR ADULTS.
AN RV IN THE TREES?
I THOUGHT IT WAS BRILLIANT.
ALL HANDS ON DECK...
OH, MY GOSH.
FOR THE MOTHER OF ALL DUCK
BLINDS.
SEE YOU IN THE WOODS.
BUT WE'VE GOT WORK TO DO.
SO MUCH FOR THE DUCK CALLS.
HERE'S THE DEAL, PHIL STARTED
THE COMPANY.
I MEAN, BEHIND MY NAME IS "CEO,"
BUT IN REALITY, PHIL'S GONNA GET
WHAT HE WANTS.
THIS IS THE WORST IDEA IN THE
HISTORY OF DUCK COMMANDER.
THIS WILL BE OUR NEW HOME,
BOYS.
PHIL, THIS IS IN WORSE SHAPE
THAN THE ONE WE GOT RID OF.
THIS IS NICE, MAN.
OH, YEAH, REAL NICE, PHIL.
LOOK AT THIS.
I MEAN, YOU GOT RUNNING WATER.
PHIL, THIS IS THE NASTIEST
THING.
OH!
HOW'D HE GET IN THERE?
IT WAS A DADGUM POSSUM.
IT WAS JUST AN OLD POSSUM
THAT HAD GOTTEN UP IN THAT RV,
AND ON A SPUR OF THE MOMENT I
SAID, "WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU
THREW A POSSUM ON A MAN?"
WE GOT A MAN DOWN!
MARRIED A YUPPIE GIRL, LIVING
IN THE SUBDIVISION...
THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU.
A POSSUM WILL SCARE YOU.
MY QUESTION IS HOW ARE YOU
GONNA GET IT IN THE TREES?
I GOT REINFORCEMENTS COMING.
I HEAR SOME KIND OF
MACHINERY, BOYS.
BEING A WEALTHY REDNECK DOES
HAVE ITS ADVANTAGES.
THE CAVALRY HAS ARRIVED.
'CAUSE NO MATTER HOW DUMB AN
IDEA IS...
ALL RIGHT, BOYS...
LET'S GET TO WORK.
WE CAN ALWAYS HIRE AN ENTIRE
REDNECK ARMY TO MAKE SURE THE
JOB GETS DONE.
PHIL DIDN'T BELIEVE ME WHEN I
TOLD HIM I WAS GONNA HAVE A YARD
SALE AND GET RID OF ALL THAT
JUNK.
BUT I THOUGHT, WELL, I'VE LIVED
WITH THIS JUNK IN THIS HOUSE FOR
YEARS, SO WE'RE GONNA DO IT, AND
THAT'S THE WAY IT'S GONNA GO.
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT ON
THESE GUNS RIGHT HERE?
I WOULD SAY $20.
$20?
THESE GUNS ARE ABOUT 100 YEARS
OLD.
DOES THAT SOUND LIKE A GOOD
PRICE TO YOU?
YEAH, THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
MY DAUGHTER-IN-LAWS WILL BE
SO HAPPY TO HELP ME WITH THIS
BECAUSE THEY WANT TO GET RID OF
THE JUNK.
AWW, JJ.
JJ, YOU GOTTA GO.
WHAT IS A FLY SWATTER...
THAT CHAIR IS THE MOST
DISGUSTING THING.
I MEAN, IT STINKS.
THERE'S A FEW DOG TOYS.
IT'S GOT DUCK FEATHERS ON IT.
THERE'S NO TELLING HOW MUCH
FOOD, PHIL'S BEARD HAIR,
INSECTS...
THAT CHAIR IS A HEALTH HAZARD,
SO IT'S GOTTA GO.
PHIL'S ALWAYS, LIKE, "DON'T
TOUCH MY STUFF.
DON'T TOUCH MY STUFF."
HE'S GONNA BE MAD.
ZACH, GET UP THERE.
PUT A SCREW IN IT.
WILLIE THE CEO LOVES TO WORK
IN THE BUSINESS, MAKE MONEY,
MAKE YOUR BUSINESS SUCCESSFUL.
LEVEL ENOUGH.
WILLIE THE CEO IS NOT GONNA GO
ALL-OUT TO MAKE SURE THAT A
TRAILER GETS UP IN THE AIR TEN
FEET.
MY HANDS ARE CLEAN OF THIS WHOLE
DEAL.
I NEVER SEEN A BUNCH OF
REDNECKS ACCOMPLISH SO MUCH SO
QUICKLY.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I CAN'T STAND UP.
MY KNEE'S HURTING.
I MEAN, IS THAT...
IS HE KIDDING?
FIVE MINUTES BEFORE WE
STARTED WORKING, AND YOU GOT A
CAREER-ENDING KNEE INJURY.
I HURT IT WHEN HE THREW THE
POSSUM AT ME.
WILLIE DOESN'T LIKE MANUAL
LABOR.
HE DOESN'T LIKE TO SWEAT.
IT'S BEEN MY STUDIED OPINION
THAT ONCE YOU GET THE TITLE
"CEO," IF YOU INTERJECT MANUAL
LABOR, INJURIES BEGIN TO OCCUR.
WHAT YOU OUGHT TO DO IS GET YOU
A CREW.
Y'ALL GET OVER AND YOU GET IT
PAINTED BY THE TIME WE GET THIS
THING KNOCKED OUT.
I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN STAND
UP AND PAINT.
YOU CAN DO THIS.
HE'S LIKE A BLISTER...
IT SHOWS UP WHEN THE WORK'S ALL
GONE.
COME AND GET IT.
THE GARAGE SALE IS OFFICIALLY
ON.
YOU LIKE IT? GOOD.
EVEN WHEN YOU HAVE A GARAGE
SALE, IT'S LIKE ANY OTHER THING
I HAVE AT MY HOUSE...
IT'S ALWAYS FOOD INVOLVED.
ALWAYS.
I LOVE MEETING NEW PEOPLE.
COME BACK AND SEE ME.
A PARTY'S NOT A PARTY WITHOUT
JAMBALAYA.
THANK YOU.
HEY, UNCLE SI.
YEAH?
YOU ABOUT TO LOSE YOUR CUP.
OH, NO, WILLIE, I AIN'T GONNA
LOSE THIS CUP.
I SPENT 24 1/2 YEARS IN THE
MILITARY, AND HALF THE PEOPLE
DIDN'T KNOW MY NAME.
BUT WHEN THEY SAID, "OH, YEAH,
YOU KNOW HIM.
IT'S ALWAYS THAT GUY THAT COMES
TO FORMATION WITH THAT
TUPPERWARE GLASS FULL OF ICED
TEA IN HIS HAND."
SO WHERE ALL HAS THAT CUP
BEEN?
LET'S SEE, FORT POLK,
LOUISIANA, FORT KNOX, KENTUCKY.
GERMANY.
THREE OR FOUR PLACES OVER THERE.
VIETNAM.
MAMA SENT IT PACKED IN A CARE
PACKAGE WITH A TUPPERWARE GLASS
IN IT IN '68, WHEN I WAS IN
VIETNAM.
DO YOU WASH IT IN THE
DISHWASHER?
NO, I BLEACH IT.
YOU WASH YOUR DISHES IN
BLEACH?
THIS IS MY TRADEMARK.
THAT'S SOME KIND OF
COLLECTOR'S ITEM.
THERE'S THREE THINGS I TRAVEL
WITH.
ONE OF 'EM IS THIS CUP.
THE OTHER IS A GALLON JUG OF
TEA.
AND THEN THE FINAL AND MOST
IMPORTANT THING IS THE BIBLE.
I NEVER LEAVE HOME WITHOUT THEM
THREE THINGS.
WHAT ABOUT A WEAPON?
WELL, HEY, THAT'S NUMBER
FOUR.
PERFECT.
BOY, I'M PROUD OF THAT JOB Y'ALL
DID THERE.
BOYS, IT LOOKS LIKE A MILLION
DOLLARS.
LET'S RAISE IT UP.
I'M A DUCK BLIND BUILDER FROM
WAY BACK.
BUT THIS ONE... IS A LITTLE
DIFFERENT, LET ME PUT IT THAT
WAY.
THAT RV IS JUST A PIECE OF
JUNK.
IF ONE SCREW FALLS OUT OF IT,
ALL THE WALLS WILL FALL OUT, AND
IT'LL JUST TOPPLE OVER RIGHT
THERE.
GOOD LUCK GETTING THAT THING IN
THE AIR.
HEY, ARE WE GONNA LIFT THIS
THING UP AND PUT IT UP THERE OR
NOT?
SI, WHY ARE YOU SAYING "HEY"
EVERY SENTENCE?
NO, NO. HEY.
WHAT DOES "HEY" MEAN?
I'M JUST WONDERING.
Y'ALL GIVE IT THE MEANING
THAT YOU WANT IT TO HAVE.
HEY.
THE WORD "HEY" IS LIKE A FABRIC
WOVEN INTO SI'S CHARACTER.
HEY, OWEN, LET'S GO.
HEY!
THESE CLOWNS, HEY, THEY DON'T
KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING.
HE JUST "HEYed" AGAIN.
HEY.
HEY.
IT'S AUTOMATIC.
I SAY HEY. HEY.
HEY CAN MEAN YES, HEY CAN MEAN
MAYBE, HEY CAN MEAN NO.
HEY CAN MEAN NEXT WEEK.
THE BOTTOM LINE IS YOU GOTTA
UNDERSTAND ME TO UNDERSTAND HEY.
HEY. HEY. HEY!
LET'S GET IT DONE, BOYS.
OH, YEAH!
SMOOTH, STEADY AS SHE GOES.
ALL RIGHT, EASE ON DOWN.
WATCH THE EXTENSION.
THERE YOU GO, PICK IT UP A
LITTLE BIT AND THEN MOVE ON OUT.
NOW WE'RE COOKING WITH PEANUT
OIL!
HEY.
HEY!
HEY.
COME ON IN, BOYS.
WHAT'S THIS? HUH?
WE GOT HEAT.
WHAT ABOUT THAT?
WE CAN COOK.
MICROWAVE.
THAT WORKS.
COFFEE MAKER. HUH?
MY HOUSE ISN'T THIS NICE.
IT'S A WOODED GETAWAY.
NOW, THAT WAS MORE WILLIE'S
DEPARTMENT... DECORATING.
I LIKE IT IN THERE.
IT'S NICE.
BUT THIS IS MORE NICE.
HEY, THIS IS A GOOD VIEW.
I'M GLAD YOU BLEW IT UP,
WILL.
I HEAR YA.
I BET I COULD SELL ONE OR TWO OF
THESE.
THANK Y'ALL.
ALL RIGHT, SEE Y'ALL LATER.
SOMEBODY ACTUALLY BOUGHT THAT
CHAIR.
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST GONNA GO
TO THE DUMP.
BUT THEY ACTUALLY BOUGHT IT.
SOMETIMES IT AMAZES ME WHAT
PEOPLE WILL SPEND GOOD MONEY ON.
I KINDA LIKE THAT SQUIRREL
THERE.
WELL, I CAN SELL YOU THAT
SQUIRREL.
I GOT ANOTHER SQUIRREL I CAN
PUT HIM BESIDE.
WOULD YOU TAKE $5 FOR HIM?
I'LL TAKE $5.
YOU WOULD?
YOU CAN HAVE IT FOR $5.
ALL RIGHTY.
THAT LOOKED LIKE MY CHAIR.
I KNOW THAT'S MY SQUIRREL.
HEY, MOUNTAIN MAN.
HEY, WILLIE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY
SQUIRREL?
I BOUGHT IT AT A GARAGE SALE
KORIE'S HAVING DOWN THE ROAD.
THAT'S MY SQUIRREL.
I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS YOUR
SQUIRREL.
YEAH, THAT'S MY SQUIRREL.
WELL, I GAVE $5 FOR IT.
WELL, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, I'M
GONNA GIVE YOU $10, AND I'M
TAKING IT BACK.
I'D RATHER HAVE THE SQUIRREL,
WILLIE.
LET ME REPHRASE THIS, I'M
GONNA GIVE YOU $10, AND THIS
DEAL'S OVER.
I APOLOGIZE FOR THE
INCONVENIENCE.
HEY, MOUNTAIN MAN.
HEY.
HEY, MOUNTAIN MAN.
WHAT IN THE WORLD'S ALL THIS?
HMM.
HEY.
MISS KAY, TELL ME THAT WAS
NOT MY CHAIR HEADING UP THE ROAD
WITH THEM HIPPIE GIRLS.
I WOULD SAY IT'S KIND OF A SHOCK
TO A MAN'S SYSTEM, YOU KNOW,
WHEN SOME OF HIS STUFF IS OUT IN
THE YARD BEING PAWNED OFF TO THE
LOCAL REDNECKS.
47 YEARS MARRIED TO YOUR MAMA.
GETTIN' RID OF HIS CHAIR'S LIKE
GETTING RID OF HIS DOG.
I'VE BEEN MARRIED TO PHIL
SINCE I WAS 16.
HE ALWAYS HAS TROUBLE LETTING GO
OF THINGS AND ANY KIND OF
CHANGE.
IT STUNK.
WE HAD A GARAGE SALE.
WE GOT RID OF THE JUNK.
I DIDN'T CONSIDER MY CHAIR,
AT THIS POINT, TO BE RUMMAGE.
HEY, BUDDY, I'LL GET YOU A
NEW CHAIR.
HOW 'BOUT THAT?
NOW WE'RE COOKIN' WITH PEANUT
OIL.
THERE YOU GO.
WOMEN ARE LIKE LABRADOR
RETRIEVERS.
YOU KNOW, THEY ALL HAVE QUIRKS.
BUT YOU STAY MARRIED TO ONE 45,
50 YEARS, YOU LEARN TO GO WITH
THE QUIRKS.
HOW MUCH DID Y'ALL MAKE?
ALMOST $600.
I WANT $10 OF IT BACK, 'CAUSE
I JUST HAD TO BUY THIS BACK.
HOW 'BOUT Y'ALL GO CLEAN UP
AND GET READY FOR SUPPER.
I'M ON MY WAY.
FATHER, WE THANK YOU FOR THE
WOODS, WE THANK YOU FOR THE
WATER, AND WE THANK YOU FOR ALL
THE THINGS THAT LIVE IN THEM.
THANK YOU FOR BLESSING US
TONIGHT, ESPECIALLY WITH THIS
GOOD MEAL.
All: AMEN.
LET'S GET INTO SOME OF THESE
BUSHY TAILS.
PEOPLE ARE NATURE'S NUMBER
ONE CREATURE OF HABIT.
WE TEND TO GET COMFORTABLE,
STUCK IN OUR WAYS, AND FEAR
CHANGE.
WE LIKE TO HOLD ON TO OLD THINGS
IN ORDER TO HOLD ON TO OLD
MEMORIES WHEN, USUALLY, THEY
KEEP US FROM MAKING NEW ONES.
SOMETIMES YOU GOTTA BITE THE
BULLET AND MAKE A CLEAN BREAK
FROM THE PAST TO START A FRESH
BEGINNING.
HEY, UNCLE SI.
HEY.
Men: HEY... HEY... HEY.