Duck Dynasty (2012–2017): Season 1, Episode 3 - High Tech Redneck - full transcript
THEY GOT TO HAVE ONE OF THESE
BEAVER DAMS UP HERE SOMEWHERE.
WAY TOO MUCH WATER.
YEAH, WE GOT US ONE
UP HERE SOMEWHERE.
YEAH.
YEAH, I WAS OVER AT WILLIE'S
THE OTHER DAY, AND I SAW IT.
ONE OF MY GRANDKIDS...
WELL, JOHN LUKE WAS ON
ONE OF THEM COMPUTERS.
I SAID, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
GETTING YOUR LESSON?"
HE SAID, "NAH, I'M TALKING TO
MY GIRLFRIEND."
I SAID, "OH THAT?"
HE SAYS, "YEAH."
RIDICULOUS.
SHE PROBABLY LIVES, WHAT?
TWO BLOCKS DOWN FROM HIM?
I'M JUST THINKING, WHY DON'T
YOU JUST GO OVER THERE AND TALK
TO HER IF YOU WANT
TO TALK TO HER?
YEAH.
GET OFF OF THAT THING.
TODAY WITH COMPUTERS, YOU
KNOW, IF YOU'RE DATING SOME
LIL' OLD GAL, YOU KNOW,
YOU CAN'T EVEN SMELL HER.
GIRLS SMELL NICE.
YUP, I'VE ALWAYS BEEN A
LADIES' MAN.
THEM GRANDKIDS, WE NEED TO
GIVE THEM A NEW WAY OF THINKING.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
THAT'S EXACTLY WHO YOU
NEED TO GET OUT HERE.
GET THESE GRANDKIDS OUT HERE.
WELL, NEXT TIME, WE'LL GET
OLD JOHN LUKE TO HELP US.
WE'LL SHOW HIM HOW TO HANDLE
WOMANHOOD, EYEBALL TO EYEBALL.
MEET THE ROBERTSON CLAN.
THEY TURN DUCK CALLS...
INTO A MULTIMILLION-DOLLAR
EMPIRE.
BUT RUNNING A FAMILY
BUSINESS IS TOUGH WHEN THE
FAMILY JUST WANTS TO RUN WILD.
♪ ♪♪ SILK SUIT, BLACK TIE ♪
♪ I DON'T EVEN NEED ♪
♪ A REASON WHY ♪
♪ THEY COME RUNNIN' ♪
♪ JUST AS FAST AS THEY CAN ♪
♪ 'CAUSE EVERY GIRL CRAZY ♪
♪ 'BOUT A SHARP DRESSED MAN ♪
I HAVE A HUGE MEETING TODAY
WITH ONE OF MY BIGGEST CLIENTS.
FORTUNATELY, THERE
ARE PERKS TO BEING A CEO.
I MEAN, CARS GO FAST.
HELICOPTERS GO WAY FASTER.
WHEN WE HAVE THESE BIG
MEETINGS, CLIENTS EXPECT TO SEE PHIL.
HE IS THE MICHAEL
JORDAN TO DUCK HUNTING.
EVERYBODY KNOWS WHO HE IS,
THEY KNOW THE BEARD, THEY KNOW
THE HAIR.
PHIL IS THE KING, AND IF MY DAD
AIN'T HOME, I PRETTY MUCH KNOW
WHERE I CAN FIND HIM.
A BEAVER'S KIND OF
LIKE A BAD DISEASE...
OH, YEAH.
THAT JUST WON'T GO AWAY.
THEY DO THEIR
DIRTY WORK AT NIGHT.
SO YOU COME BACK HERE IN THE
MORNING, AND IT LOOKS LIKE WE
AIN'T EVEN BEEN HERE.
YEAH.
CITY FOLK THINK THAT
THESE BEAVERS ARE CUTE AND
CUDDLY LITTLE ANIMALS, BUT I'LL
TELL YOU, THEY ARE DESTRUCTIVE
CRITTERS.
THEY DAM UP THE RIVERBED,
THEY KILL ALL THE TIMBER...
WITH THESE LITTLE TEETH OF
THEIRS.
I'M IN A CONSTANT RUNNING
BATTLE WITH BEAVERS.
THESE RASCALS NEVER QUIT,
BUT I GOT NEWS FOR THEM.
WE DON'T EITHER.
I'M A LOW-TECH MAN IN A
HIGH-TECH WORLD, BASICALLY.
WILLIE TOOK THE WHOLE THING
WAY FURTHER THAN I EVER WOULD.
I DON'T EVEN THINK
YOU NEED A RAZOR.
I DON'T EVEN THINK
YOU NEED A RAZOR.
WE WAS HAVING A GOOD TIME
TILL WILLIE SHOWED UP WITH THAT
STUPID CHOPPER.
NOW I WAS GLAD TO SEE HIM GO.
BACK TO QUIET
TRANQUILITY OF THE WOODS.
WILLIE, YOUR PRODUCTS ARE
FLYING OFF OUR SHELVES RIGHT
NOW.
IT IS A GREAT PRODUCT.
I KNOW THAT.
I WANT MORE OF IT.
THINK YOU ALL CAN HANDLE
SOME MORE BUSINESS?
ALWAYS READY FOR THAT.
WALKING INTO THE MEETING
WITH HANK, THIS IS WHAT I LIVE FOR.
THIS IS WHERE THE SWAMP
MEETS CORPORATE AMERICA.
WE'RE GOING TO INCREASE
YOUR LINE IN OUR STORES ACROSS
THE BOARD...
A LOT.
WHAT'S "A LOT"?
TEN TIMES WHAT WE'VE
BEEN DOING WITH YOU.
T-SHIRTS, YOUR CDs, DVDs.
DUCK CALLS.
FULL LINE.
ANYTHING THAT... FULL
LINE ACROSS THE BOARD.
THIS IS A GAME CHANGER.
THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT
OUR COMPANY HAS TO DO TO GROW.
DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE IT?
WE GOT IT.
WHAT KIND OF AUTOMATION
YOU GOT IN YOUR SHOP?
WE'RE... I WAS JUST FIXIN'
TO PUT IN SOME NEW...
JUST FIXIN'?
AUTOMATED... YEAH.
JUST FIXIN'S NOT...
NO, THAT'S A BAD WORD.
I CAN HAVE YOUR ORDER
TOMORROW IF YOU WANT IT.
EVERY STORE.
YEAH.
THAT SOUNDS GOOD TO ME.
PHIL, WE READY?
WHEN IT COMES TO
BUSINESS, I ZONE IT OUT.
THEY CAN GET ME OUT OF THE
WOODS FROM TIME TO TIME, BUT THE
TOUGH PART IS GETTING
THE WOODS OUT OF ME.
WHEN ARE WE GETTING OUT OF HERE?
WE BETTER GET DOWN THERE ON
THE FLOOR AND BUILD A FIRE UNDER
SOME FAT BOYS, I KNOW.
WHAT DO YOU SAY, WILL?
DID I REALLY SAY TOMORROW?
OH, LOOK AT THAT STRAGGLING.
GENTLEMEN.
WHAT'S UP?
THE BOSS IS BACK.
I GOT REALLY GOOD NEWS.
WE GET THE DAY OFF.
CLOSE.
ONE OF OUR BIGGEST CLIENTS...
HE UPPED HIS ORDER TIMES TEN.
THAT'S GOOD NEWS.
THAT'S MORE WORK.
GOOD POINT.
Y'ALL PAY ATTENTION.
I'VE BEEN THINKING, GUYS.
I'VE BEEN THINKING.
HERE'S THE WORD.
SYNERGY.
ANYBODY KNOWS WHAT THAT MEANS?
WELL, IT'S KIND OF LIKE ENERGY.
INCORRECT, MOUNTAIN MAN.
SYNERGY IS EVERYTHING
WORKING TOGETHER.
THIS IS NOT A GOOD
EXAMPLE OF THAT.
WE GOT TO LOOK
MORE PROFESSIONAL.
THESE ARE NAME TAGS, SO
PEOPLE WALKED IN, YOU'D SAY, "HEY,
JEP.
HEY, JASE."
I'M YOUR BROTHER.
IT'S A FAMILY BUSINESS.
I KNOW WHO YOU ARE, BUT WHEN
PEOPLE COME IN, WE WANT TO
PRESENT THAT IMAGE.
I'M PUTTING MINE ON MY HAT.
WE'RE GOING UPSIDE DOWN.
WELL, PEOPLE ACT LIKE THEY
KNOW YOU, AND THEY DON'T.
WELL, THAT'S OKAY.
NOW THEY KNOW YOUR NAME.
THAT'S JUST ONE THING.
EVERYBODY STAND UP.
HAND ME YOUR
CHAIR, MOUNTAIN MAN.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
UP HERE, ANYWAY?
OH, I WAS JUST HANGING OUT.
WORK'S SLOW RIGHT NOW.
OKAY.
SEE, HE DOESN'T WORK HERE.
HERE'S THE PROBLEM.
CHAIR, GONE.
HE GONE...
WORKERS WORK WAY HARDER WHEN
THEY'RE STANDING UP, AND THEY'RE
ON THEIR FEET.
THIS SEEMS LIKE A GOOD WAY
TO DECREASE PRODUCTIVITY.
NO, NO, NO.
THIS WILL INCREASE...
ALL RIGHT, GUYS.
WELL LOOK, WE CAN'T DO TEN TIMES
WHAT WE'RE DOING AT THIS PACE.
Y'ALL CAN BARELY GET DONE WHAT
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING NOW.
FOR DUCK COMMANDER TO EVER
GET TO THE NEXT LEVEL, WE HAVE GOT
TO SPEED UP THE PROCESS.
SO WE NEED TO GET
MORE AUTOMATED.
I NEED ONE GUY PASSING OFF TO
THE NEXT GUY, THEN HE'S TO THE
NEXT GUY.
AND IT'S JUST MOVING
DOWN THE LINE.
LIKE A CONVEYOR BELT?
LIKE A CONVEYOR BELT.
A CONVEYOR BELT?
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT
WILLIE'S TALKING ABOUT.
WHAT WILLIE NEEDS TO DO IF HE
WANTS TO BE MORE PRODUCTIVE
IS FIRE ALL OF US.
EVERYBODY ON THEIR FEET.
SYNERGY, SYNERGY, SYNERGY.
ALL RIGHT, BACK TO WORK.
NOBODY'S SITTING DOWN EITHER.
HMM.
WILLIE GONE WILD.
AIN'T THAT THE TRUTH.
OKAY, JOHN LUKE.
THESE ARE A FEW MORE OF THE
SQUIRRELS THAT I'M GOING TO DO
RIGHT HERE.
DON'T YOU LIKE THE
LOOKS OF THIS ONE?
LOOK AT THAT.
PUT PLENTY OF FLOUR.
YOU WANT IT TO STICK ON, SO
YOU WON'T LOSE THE... WHO IS
THAT?
HEY, BABE.
WHERE'VE YOU BEEN ALL DAY?
WELL, WE'VE BEEN, UH,
BUSTING OUT SOME BEAVER DAMS.
WE WORKED UP A BIG HUNGER.
OKAY, YOU ARE NOT
EATING THIS FOOD.
THERE ARE FEW THINGS IN
THIS WORLD THAT I LOVE MORE
THAN MISS KAY'S COOKING.
LOOK AT THIS.
LOOKS LIKE IT'S JUST
COMING OUT OF THE SWAMP.
NOW, THAT'S WHAT
I'M TALKING ABOUT.
SHE ENDED UP A BETTER
COOK THAN MY MAMA.
IF YOUR WOMAN COOKS BETTER
THAN YOUR MAMA, YOU GOT ONE.
BETTER HOLD ONTO HER.
SON, YOU'RE YOUNG.
LET ME SHOW YOU HOW TO DO THIS.
BUDDY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WE'RE PUTTING IT
IN A BOWL, AIN'T WE?
LOOK, YOU CAN'T
EAT MUCH OF THAT.
WHEN I GET DONE HERE, YOU'LL
NEVER KNOW I'VE BEEN THERE.
NO.
PHIL, LOOK HOW
MUCH YOU'RE GETTING.
I LOVE SQUIRREL.
SQUIRREL HAS A FLAVOR ALL
OF ITS OWN, WHICH IS A GREAT
FLAVOR.
I'VE NEVER EATEN
MANY OTHER RODENTS.
EVERY TIME I COOK LIKE THIS,
Y'ALL JUST COME IN AND WIPE IT
ALL OUT.
I MEAN, JUST... MM.
SQUIRREL BRAINS MAKE YOU SMART.
THAT'S WHERE YOU GET SMART,
FROM THE SQUIRREL BRAINS.
I LOVE A WOMAN WHO
LOVES SQUIRREL BRAINS.
THAT'S OUR SECRET.
MISS KAY IS A KIND,
GENTLE WOMAN.
I JUST TOUCHED THE
HEAD, AND IT FELL OFF.
KIND AND GENTLE.
I TELL YOU WHAT, THAT'S
AS FINE AS I'VE EVER PUT IN
MY MOUTH RIGHT THERE.
WELL, Y'ALL NEED TO GET
THROUGH EATING, AND Y'ALL GO
BACK HUNTING.
HOW ABOUT THAT?
LET'S TAKE JOHN LUKE WITH US.
WE'RE GOING TO TRAIN HIM
TO FIND HIM A SQUIRREL-EATING
WOMAN.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
YEAH.
I WOULD CONSIDER IT AN
OBLIGATION TO MY GRANDKIDS TO
SHOW THEM THE GREAT
OUTDOORS, AS THEY SAY.
THE LAST THING I WOULD
WANT FOR MY GRANDKIDS IS THAT
THEY GROW UP TO BE NERDS.
YOU'RE THE BEST, GRANDMA KAY.
MM-HMM.
YOU BRING HOME THE
GAME, OR YOU'RE NOT A MAN.
THAT'S WHAT I SAY.
HOW IN THE HECK ARE WE GONNA
GET THIS DONE?
I THINK OF ALL THE THINGS HE
DISCUSSED, THE CONVEYOR BELT
WAS THE ONE THAT
STUCK OUT IN MY HEAD.
AND IT'S JUST MOVING
DOWN THE LINE.
LIKE A CONVEYOR BELT?
LIKE A CONVEYOR BELT.
WELL, WHERE IN THE WORLD
DO YOU BUY A CONVEYOR BELT?
WELL, LET'S JUST BUILD IT.
FORGET BUYING IT.
WE GOT THE TOOLS OVER HERE.
I GOT IT IN MY HEAD.
YOU GIVE A BUNCH OF REDNECKS
WOOD, TOOLS, SCREWS, AND NAILS,
AND THEY CAN BUILD ANYTHING.
IT MAY NOT BE THE PRETTIEST
ANYTHING, BUT I GUARANTEE
THAT OLD DOG WILL HUNT.
I DON'T KNOW IF IT'LL ACTUALLY
IMPROVE THINGS AROUND
HERE.
IT AIN'T GONNA HURT THINGS.
A CONVEYOR BELT?
THERE'S A LOT OF THINGS
THAT COULD GO WRONG.
I'M IN.
IT AIN'T GOTTA BE STRAIGHT.
THAT'S JUST A SUGGESTION.
CUT RIGHT THERE.
MM-HMM.
THAT LOOKS GOOD.
WORK IT, WORK IT.
THAT'S IT.
WELL, BOYS, I THINK WE DID IT.
LOOKS GOOD.
GOT TO LOVE IT WHEN A
PLAN COMES TOGETHER.
THAT THING LOOKS FACTORY-BUILT.
MOUNTAIN MAN, IT WAS ALL
DUE TO YOUR HAMMERING SKILLS.
WELL, HOW'S IT GOING TO RUN?
MOUNTAIN MAN.
FIRE IT UP!
ALL RIGHT.
UH-OH.
UH-OH.
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
WE GOT A LITTLE MOVEMENT.
WE GOT A LITTLE MOVEMENT.
HERE WE GO.
OH, YEAH.
YEAH, IT'S WORKING.
COME ON, LET'S GET TO WORK.
I WOULD SAY WE HAVE
SUCCESS ON OUR HANDS.
AND MAYBE THAT'S
WHY WILLIE IS THE CEO.
WILLIE'S GOING TO BE
FIRED UP ABOUT THIS.
GENIUS.
IT'S WORKING, BOYS.
WE GOT SOMETHING GOING NOW.
AND HERE WE WERE,
THINKING YOU WERE DUMB.
TEN BOXES?
WE'RE GETTING A BOX A MINUTE.
NOW THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.
I THINK WE CAN
ACTUALLY GO FASTER.
I THINK I CAN GIVE IT SOME
MORE GAS IF YOU WANT.
CRANK IT UP.
YOU KNOW, I'M A BIG
PROPONENT OF PRODUCT TESTING.
WHAT IF WE JUST PUT THE BOX AT
THE END AND PUT THE PRODUCTS
ON THE BELT?
THAT'S FINE WITH ME.
I MEAN, IF WE'RE GONNA BE AS
GOOD AS WE CAN BE, WE GOT TO
SEE WHAT WE'RE WORKING WITH.
GO.
CRANK IT UP!
WHOO!
NOTHING TO IT, BOYS.
OH, WILLIE'S GONNA LIKE THIS.
OKAY.
ALL RIGHT, GIVE US OUR JOBS.
LET'S GO.
WHY DON'T YOU
START WITH THE DVDs?
OKAY.
MISSY, IF YOU CAN GET THE HATS?
OKAY.
NORMALLY, I DON'T GET THE
GIRLS OUT TO ACTUALLY HELP US
PUT ORDERS TOGETHER, BUT
WITH AN ORDER THIS BIG, I NEED ALL
HANDS ON DECK.
WHOO, THIS IS GONNA
BE A GOOD ONE.
I KNOW.
I ALWAYS KNEW THAT IF WE
COULD HIT AN ORDER LIKE THIS,
IT CHANGES EVERYTHING.
YUP.
I'M GONNABACK IN MY OFFICE,
RUN SOME MORE NUMBERS.
WE GOT IT, WE GOT THIS.
I'LL BE BACK.
GOOD DEAL.
ALL RIGHT, MORE DVDs.
ALL RIGHT, JOHN LUKE.
NOW SEE, I'M LOOKING AT YOU.
AND YOUR FACE BE BRIGHT WHITE.
BUT LOOKEE HERE.
I'M GONNA GIVE
YOU A LITTLE OF THIS.
YOU SEE MY FACE?
MM.
MAKE YOUR FACE
LOOK LIKE MY FACE.
YOU GOT A LITTLE
CHICK YOU'RE DATING?
I DO.
I DO.
HOW MUCH MAKEUP IS ON THERE?
NOT MUCH.
THAT'S A GOOD THING.
THE THICKER IT GETS, THE
MORE THEY'RE TRYING TO HIDE.
YOU'RE LOOKING FOR WHAT'S
INSIDE HER HEAD, NOT WHAT'S ON THE
OUTSIDE OF IT.
YES, SIR.
SO YOU CAN GET ALL DOLLED UP,
BUT SHE MAY BE MEAN AS A SNAKE.
LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY... THAT
MAKEUP COULD COVER UP A LOT
OF EVIL, MY MAN.
YOU DON'T WANT NO EVIL WOMAN.
SEE WHAT I'M SAYING?
YES, SIR.
LET'S GO GET MISS
KAY SOME SQUIRRELS.
WHEN YOU'RE IN THE ROBERTSON
FAMILY, YOU TAKE A BOY HUNTING,
YOU'RE TRYING TO TEACH HIM A
FEW THINGS.
TRY NOT TO STEP ON ANY STICKS.
ONE OF THE THINGS IS TO KILL
DELICIOUS MEAT.
THERE'S ONE RIGHT THERE.
GOOD SHOT, JOHN LUKE.
YOU GOT HIM.
WE TEACH THEM THE VALUABLE
KNOWLEDGE ABOUT LIFE, MANHOOD.
SHE COULD BE AN UGLY WOMAN,
BUT IF SHE COOKS SQUIRREL AND
DUMPLINGS, THAT'S THE
WOMAN YOU GO AFTER.
THE MOST IMPORTANT THING
WE TEACH 'EM IS HOW TO BE A
ROBERTSON.
15, 20.
LET 'EM GO.
IF YOU CATCH SQUIRRELS
FOR YOUR WOMAN...
YOUR WOMAN WILL NEVER CUT YOU
OFF IN BED.
JOHN LUKE, YOU SEE
THAT RIGHT THERE?
YES, SIR.
THAT'S THE BEGINNING
OF A BIG BEAVER DAM.
RIGHT ON DOWN THIS THING,
THERE'S A BIG ONE SOMEWHERE.
I THINK IT'S RIGHT
DOWN THROUGH HERE.
THE BEAVER WAR.
NO MATTER HOW MANY YOU GET
RID OF, THEY JUST KEEP COMING.
BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM,
BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM.
BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM.
GOOD GRACIOUS, ALIVE.
WHAT IN THE WORLD?
THAT'S THE PRIZE OF THE DAY.
SI FORGOT TO COME BACK DOWN
HERE AND GET RID OF THAT ONE.
I FINALLY NEED TO PUT
THE MILITARY ON THIS.
BOOM, BOOM.
BLOW THAT SUCKER OUT OF THERE.
LOOKS LIKE THE HUNT'S OVER.
HEY.
UH-OH.
THAT CONVEYOR
BELT IDEA OF WILLIE'S?
IT ACTUALLY WASN'T A BAD IDEA.
THINGS ARE JUST FLYING OFF THE
ASSEMBLY LINE.
WHAT ABOUT A MAN?
WHOO!
WHAT ABOUT MOUNTAIN
MAN IN THE BOAT?
ALL RIGHT, ARE YOU READY?
I'M GONNA LET HER RIP.
HERE WE GO.
NIAGARA FALLS.
YOU READY?
YEAH.
ALL RIGHT, JASE, FIRE IT UP.
HEY!
WHAT IN THE WORLD?
WHAT IS THIS?
I DON'T WANT TO BRAG, BUT
I THINK IS ONE OF THE MOST
IMPRESSIVE THINGS I'VE EVER
BEEN IN CHARGE OF... THE BUILDING
OF THE CONVEYOR BELT.
WELL, I'M READY TO RUN FOR
POLITICAL OFFICE AFTER THAT.
YOU GOT, LIKE, FOUR BOXES DONE.
WE GOT TO HAVE 15 TIMES THAT.
THE FIVE STOOGES
ARE AT IT AGAIN.
I MEAN, IT'S LIKE SPOON-FEEDING
FIVE, CRYING, OVERWEIGHT,
BEARDED BABIES
WITH FULL DIAPERS.
POOPY DIAPERS.
WE JUST GOT TO GET BACK TO WORK.
I MEAN, WE... Y'ALL
AIN'T GOT CRAP DONE.
GET THE BOXES OUT.
THIS, I DON'T LIKE.
THAT, I DEFINITELY DON'T LIKE.
ALL RIGHT, WE'RE READY.
COME ON, LET'S GO.
WE'RE READY.
WORK, WORK, WORK.
JUST WHEN IT WAS GETTING GOOD.
HEY, BABE.
WHAT'S WRONG?
WE'RE NEVER GOING
TO GET THIS DONE.
YES, WE ARE.
WE'RE DOING GOOD.
I GOT THE GUYS OUT
THERE DOING NOTHING.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN
"DOING NOTHING?"
GOOFING OFF.
I LEFT THEM, SAID, LOOK...
THE GUYS ARE GOOFING OFF?
THIS IS THE BIGGEST
ORDER WE GOT.
I THOUGHT THEY
UNDERSTOOD THE MESSAGE.
I GO OUT THERE,
IT'S JUST A CIRCUS.
WHAT?
WHAT DID YOU DO?
I FIRED EVERY ONE OF THEM.
WAIT.
WAIT, WHAT?
I SHOULD HAVE.
REALLY?
THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE
BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED
TO US, BUT BECAUSE
OF THEM IDIOTS...
LUNCH IS HERE.
LUNCH, IT IS.
KAY, I'M NOT EVEN HUNGRY.
YOU'RE NOT HUNGRY?
NO, I CAN'T EVEN STAY,
AND I CAN'T EVEN EAT.
WHY?
I'M SORRY.
BECAUSE THE WHOLE
THING'S FALLING APART.
WE GOT THE BIGGEST
ORDER EVER... HOW BIG IS IT?
TEN TIMES WHAT WE DID LAST YEAR.
WE AND DADDY USED
TO HAVE STUFF LIKE THIS.
KAY, YOU AND DADDY HAD,
LIKE, 12 ORDERS DOWN AT THE
TICKTOCK INN FOR SIX DUCK CALLS.
NO, WE DID NOT.
I MEAN, I DON'T THINK MOM
UNDERSTANDS WHAT WE'RE DEALING
WITH HERE.
THIS IS A
MULTIMILLION-DOLLAR COMPANY.
IT'S NOT A MOM-AND-POP
COMPANY ANYMORE.
TIMES ARE CHANGING, AND THE
OLD WAYS, THEY AIN'T GONNA WORK
ANYMORE.
I NEED, LIKE, 100 PEOPLE UP
HERE TO GET THIS THING DONE.
WHERE THERE'S A
WILL, THERE'S A WAY.
WELL, WILL AIN'T GETTING
HIS WAY, SO IF YOU CAN GET 100
PEOPLE UP HERE, I'M ALL EARS.
JOHN LUKE, WHEN I TELL YOU,
YOU PUSH THAT PLUNGER DOWN
AND WATCH THE ACTION.
THIS IS WHAT THEY
CALL PAYBACK TIME.
YOU DO THE HONORS.
YOU GOT IT?
YES, SIR.
I CAN DO THIS.
GET IT DONE.
BLOW IT.
GOOD MORNING, VIETNAM!
NOW THAT'S THE WAY TO
TAKE A BEAVER DAM OUT, BOYS.
WHOA.
THAT'S IT?
THAT'S IT.
OH, MAN.
ME AND MY BIG IDEAS,
AND MY BIG MOUTH.
WE JUST NEED MORE TIME.
THAT'S WHAT I SHOULD'VE SAID.
SURPRISE!
HEY.
WHAT IS THIS?
I GOT A SURPRISE FOR YOU.
DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE
USED TO DO THOSE OLD-TIMEY PACKING
PARTIES?
YEAH?
REMEMBER MY MOTTO?
EAT AS MUCH AS
YOU CAN EAT... NO.
I'M GONNA WHIP YOU.
WHEN YOU FEED
THEM, THEY WILL COME.
A PACKING PARTY?
THEY'RE COMING.
100 PEOPLE... TO WORK.
ARE YOU KIDDING?
THERE THEY ARE.
OH, MY LORD.
Y'ALL WOULD'VE BEEN IN A
BIND OR THEY WOULDN'T HAVE
BROUGHT THE BIG GUNS IN.
CHANGE IS A GOOD THING, BUT
SOMETIMES, YOU GOT TO GO BACK
TO THE BASICS.
IT'S JUST BEEN MY OBSERVATION
THAT IN THE END, THE OLD-SCHOOL
WAYS, THEY ALWAYS
SEEM TO WORK OUT.
WILLIE WILL FIGURE ALL THAT
STUFF OUT ONE OF THESE DAYS.
HE'S IN HIS 40s.
HE'S JUST A YOUNG BUCK.
OH, WE ARE ROLLING.
WHY IS IT THAT IT DOESN'T SEEM
LIKE WORK WHEN EVERYBODY'S
DOING IT?
Y'ALL CAN EAT SOME PIG.
NOW WE'RE GETTING IT.
NOW WE'RE WORKING.
WELL, MOM.
I CANNOT BELIEVE
YOU PULLED THIS OFF.
PUTTING THE TAPE
ON THE LAST ONE.
ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY.
I JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU SO
MUCH FOR COMING OUT, HELPING
US GET THIS ORDER DONE.
MOST OF ALL, I WANT TO THANK
KAY FOR ALL HER HARD WORK IN
GETTING THIS THING TOGETHER.
AS WE GROW AS A COMPANY,
WE CAN'T FORGET
WHAT GOT US HERE.
AND I FIND MYSELF
REMINDED OF THAT.
DIG IN.
THIS IS THE PLACE WHERE THE
COMPANY NEEDS TO BE BECAUSE
THESE ARE MY PEOPLE... THE SAME
PEOPLE THAT WILL ALWAYS HELP ME OUT.
I GUESS THE NEW WAYS DON'T
ALWAYS HAVE TO BE THE BEST WAYS.
BUT IN THE END, WE NEED TO ALWAYS
REMEMBER WHERE WE CAME FROM.
BEAVER DAMS UP HERE SOMEWHERE.
WAY TOO MUCH WATER.
YEAH, WE GOT US ONE
UP HERE SOMEWHERE.
YEAH.
YEAH, I WAS OVER AT WILLIE'S
THE OTHER DAY, AND I SAW IT.
ONE OF MY GRANDKIDS...
WELL, JOHN LUKE WAS ON
ONE OF THEM COMPUTERS.
I SAID, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
GETTING YOUR LESSON?"
HE SAID, "NAH, I'M TALKING TO
MY GIRLFRIEND."
I SAID, "OH THAT?"
HE SAYS, "YEAH."
RIDICULOUS.
SHE PROBABLY LIVES, WHAT?
TWO BLOCKS DOWN FROM HIM?
I'M JUST THINKING, WHY DON'T
YOU JUST GO OVER THERE AND TALK
TO HER IF YOU WANT
TO TALK TO HER?
YEAH.
GET OFF OF THAT THING.
TODAY WITH COMPUTERS, YOU
KNOW, IF YOU'RE DATING SOME
LIL' OLD GAL, YOU KNOW,
YOU CAN'T EVEN SMELL HER.
GIRLS SMELL NICE.
YUP, I'VE ALWAYS BEEN A
LADIES' MAN.
THEM GRANDKIDS, WE NEED TO
GIVE THEM A NEW WAY OF THINKING.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
THAT'S EXACTLY WHO YOU
NEED TO GET OUT HERE.
GET THESE GRANDKIDS OUT HERE.
WELL, NEXT TIME, WE'LL GET
OLD JOHN LUKE TO HELP US.
WE'LL SHOW HIM HOW TO HANDLE
WOMANHOOD, EYEBALL TO EYEBALL.
MEET THE ROBERTSON CLAN.
THEY TURN DUCK CALLS...
INTO A MULTIMILLION-DOLLAR
EMPIRE.
BUT RUNNING A FAMILY
BUSINESS IS TOUGH WHEN THE
FAMILY JUST WANTS TO RUN WILD.
♪ ♪♪ SILK SUIT, BLACK TIE ♪
♪ I DON'T EVEN NEED ♪
♪ A REASON WHY ♪
♪ THEY COME RUNNIN' ♪
♪ JUST AS FAST AS THEY CAN ♪
♪ 'CAUSE EVERY GIRL CRAZY ♪
♪ 'BOUT A SHARP DRESSED MAN ♪
I HAVE A HUGE MEETING TODAY
WITH ONE OF MY BIGGEST CLIENTS.
FORTUNATELY, THERE
ARE PERKS TO BEING A CEO.
I MEAN, CARS GO FAST.
HELICOPTERS GO WAY FASTER.
WHEN WE HAVE THESE BIG
MEETINGS, CLIENTS EXPECT TO SEE PHIL.
HE IS THE MICHAEL
JORDAN TO DUCK HUNTING.
EVERYBODY KNOWS WHO HE IS,
THEY KNOW THE BEARD, THEY KNOW
THE HAIR.
PHIL IS THE KING, AND IF MY DAD
AIN'T HOME, I PRETTY MUCH KNOW
WHERE I CAN FIND HIM.
A BEAVER'S KIND OF
LIKE A BAD DISEASE...
OH, YEAH.
THAT JUST WON'T GO AWAY.
THEY DO THEIR
DIRTY WORK AT NIGHT.
SO YOU COME BACK HERE IN THE
MORNING, AND IT LOOKS LIKE WE
AIN'T EVEN BEEN HERE.
YEAH.
CITY FOLK THINK THAT
THESE BEAVERS ARE CUTE AND
CUDDLY LITTLE ANIMALS, BUT I'LL
TELL YOU, THEY ARE DESTRUCTIVE
CRITTERS.
THEY DAM UP THE RIVERBED,
THEY KILL ALL THE TIMBER...
WITH THESE LITTLE TEETH OF
THEIRS.
I'M IN A CONSTANT RUNNING
BATTLE WITH BEAVERS.
THESE RASCALS NEVER QUIT,
BUT I GOT NEWS FOR THEM.
WE DON'T EITHER.
I'M A LOW-TECH MAN IN A
HIGH-TECH WORLD, BASICALLY.
WILLIE TOOK THE WHOLE THING
WAY FURTHER THAN I EVER WOULD.
I DON'T EVEN THINK
YOU NEED A RAZOR.
I DON'T EVEN THINK
YOU NEED A RAZOR.
WE WAS HAVING A GOOD TIME
TILL WILLIE SHOWED UP WITH THAT
STUPID CHOPPER.
NOW I WAS GLAD TO SEE HIM GO.
BACK TO QUIET
TRANQUILITY OF THE WOODS.
WILLIE, YOUR PRODUCTS ARE
FLYING OFF OUR SHELVES RIGHT
NOW.
IT IS A GREAT PRODUCT.
I KNOW THAT.
I WANT MORE OF IT.
THINK YOU ALL CAN HANDLE
SOME MORE BUSINESS?
ALWAYS READY FOR THAT.
WALKING INTO THE MEETING
WITH HANK, THIS IS WHAT I LIVE FOR.
THIS IS WHERE THE SWAMP
MEETS CORPORATE AMERICA.
WE'RE GOING TO INCREASE
YOUR LINE IN OUR STORES ACROSS
THE BOARD...
A LOT.
WHAT'S "A LOT"?
TEN TIMES WHAT WE'VE
BEEN DOING WITH YOU.
T-SHIRTS, YOUR CDs, DVDs.
DUCK CALLS.
FULL LINE.
ANYTHING THAT... FULL
LINE ACROSS THE BOARD.
THIS IS A GAME CHANGER.
THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT
OUR COMPANY HAS TO DO TO GROW.
DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE IT?
WE GOT IT.
WHAT KIND OF AUTOMATION
YOU GOT IN YOUR SHOP?
WE'RE... I WAS JUST FIXIN'
TO PUT IN SOME NEW...
JUST FIXIN'?
AUTOMATED... YEAH.
JUST FIXIN'S NOT...
NO, THAT'S A BAD WORD.
I CAN HAVE YOUR ORDER
TOMORROW IF YOU WANT IT.
EVERY STORE.
YEAH.
THAT SOUNDS GOOD TO ME.
PHIL, WE READY?
WHEN IT COMES TO
BUSINESS, I ZONE IT OUT.
THEY CAN GET ME OUT OF THE
WOODS FROM TIME TO TIME, BUT THE
TOUGH PART IS GETTING
THE WOODS OUT OF ME.
WHEN ARE WE GETTING OUT OF HERE?
WE BETTER GET DOWN THERE ON
THE FLOOR AND BUILD A FIRE UNDER
SOME FAT BOYS, I KNOW.
WHAT DO YOU SAY, WILL?
DID I REALLY SAY TOMORROW?
OH, LOOK AT THAT STRAGGLING.
GENTLEMEN.
WHAT'S UP?
THE BOSS IS BACK.
I GOT REALLY GOOD NEWS.
WE GET THE DAY OFF.
CLOSE.
ONE OF OUR BIGGEST CLIENTS...
HE UPPED HIS ORDER TIMES TEN.
THAT'S GOOD NEWS.
THAT'S MORE WORK.
GOOD POINT.
Y'ALL PAY ATTENTION.
I'VE BEEN THINKING, GUYS.
I'VE BEEN THINKING.
HERE'S THE WORD.
SYNERGY.
ANYBODY KNOWS WHAT THAT MEANS?
WELL, IT'S KIND OF LIKE ENERGY.
INCORRECT, MOUNTAIN MAN.
SYNERGY IS EVERYTHING
WORKING TOGETHER.
THIS IS NOT A GOOD
EXAMPLE OF THAT.
WE GOT TO LOOK
MORE PROFESSIONAL.
THESE ARE NAME TAGS, SO
PEOPLE WALKED IN, YOU'D SAY, "HEY,
JEP.
HEY, JASE."
I'M YOUR BROTHER.
IT'S A FAMILY BUSINESS.
I KNOW WHO YOU ARE, BUT WHEN
PEOPLE COME IN, WE WANT TO
PRESENT THAT IMAGE.
I'M PUTTING MINE ON MY HAT.
WE'RE GOING UPSIDE DOWN.
WELL, PEOPLE ACT LIKE THEY
KNOW YOU, AND THEY DON'T.
WELL, THAT'S OKAY.
NOW THEY KNOW YOUR NAME.
THAT'S JUST ONE THING.
EVERYBODY STAND UP.
HAND ME YOUR
CHAIR, MOUNTAIN MAN.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
UP HERE, ANYWAY?
OH, I WAS JUST HANGING OUT.
WORK'S SLOW RIGHT NOW.
OKAY.
SEE, HE DOESN'T WORK HERE.
HERE'S THE PROBLEM.
CHAIR, GONE.
HE GONE...
WORKERS WORK WAY HARDER WHEN
THEY'RE STANDING UP, AND THEY'RE
ON THEIR FEET.
THIS SEEMS LIKE A GOOD WAY
TO DECREASE PRODUCTIVITY.
NO, NO, NO.
THIS WILL INCREASE...
ALL RIGHT, GUYS.
WELL LOOK, WE CAN'T DO TEN TIMES
WHAT WE'RE DOING AT THIS PACE.
Y'ALL CAN BARELY GET DONE WHAT
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING NOW.
FOR DUCK COMMANDER TO EVER
GET TO THE NEXT LEVEL, WE HAVE GOT
TO SPEED UP THE PROCESS.
SO WE NEED TO GET
MORE AUTOMATED.
I NEED ONE GUY PASSING OFF TO
THE NEXT GUY, THEN HE'S TO THE
NEXT GUY.
AND IT'S JUST MOVING
DOWN THE LINE.
LIKE A CONVEYOR BELT?
LIKE A CONVEYOR BELT.
A CONVEYOR BELT?
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT
WILLIE'S TALKING ABOUT.
WHAT WILLIE NEEDS TO DO IF HE
WANTS TO BE MORE PRODUCTIVE
IS FIRE ALL OF US.
EVERYBODY ON THEIR FEET.
SYNERGY, SYNERGY, SYNERGY.
ALL RIGHT, BACK TO WORK.
NOBODY'S SITTING DOWN EITHER.
HMM.
WILLIE GONE WILD.
AIN'T THAT THE TRUTH.
OKAY, JOHN LUKE.
THESE ARE A FEW MORE OF THE
SQUIRRELS THAT I'M GOING TO DO
RIGHT HERE.
DON'T YOU LIKE THE
LOOKS OF THIS ONE?
LOOK AT THAT.
PUT PLENTY OF FLOUR.
YOU WANT IT TO STICK ON, SO
YOU WON'T LOSE THE... WHO IS
THAT?
HEY, BABE.
WHERE'VE YOU BEEN ALL DAY?
WELL, WE'VE BEEN, UH,
BUSTING OUT SOME BEAVER DAMS.
WE WORKED UP A BIG HUNGER.
OKAY, YOU ARE NOT
EATING THIS FOOD.
THERE ARE FEW THINGS IN
THIS WORLD THAT I LOVE MORE
THAN MISS KAY'S COOKING.
LOOK AT THIS.
LOOKS LIKE IT'S JUST
COMING OUT OF THE SWAMP.
NOW, THAT'S WHAT
I'M TALKING ABOUT.
SHE ENDED UP A BETTER
COOK THAN MY MAMA.
IF YOUR WOMAN COOKS BETTER
THAN YOUR MAMA, YOU GOT ONE.
BETTER HOLD ONTO HER.
SON, YOU'RE YOUNG.
LET ME SHOW YOU HOW TO DO THIS.
BUDDY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WE'RE PUTTING IT
IN A BOWL, AIN'T WE?
LOOK, YOU CAN'T
EAT MUCH OF THAT.
WHEN I GET DONE HERE, YOU'LL
NEVER KNOW I'VE BEEN THERE.
NO.
PHIL, LOOK HOW
MUCH YOU'RE GETTING.
I LOVE SQUIRREL.
SQUIRREL HAS A FLAVOR ALL
OF ITS OWN, WHICH IS A GREAT
FLAVOR.
I'VE NEVER EATEN
MANY OTHER RODENTS.
EVERY TIME I COOK LIKE THIS,
Y'ALL JUST COME IN AND WIPE IT
ALL OUT.
I MEAN, JUST... MM.
SQUIRREL BRAINS MAKE YOU SMART.
THAT'S WHERE YOU GET SMART,
FROM THE SQUIRREL BRAINS.
I LOVE A WOMAN WHO
LOVES SQUIRREL BRAINS.
THAT'S OUR SECRET.
MISS KAY IS A KIND,
GENTLE WOMAN.
I JUST TOUCHED THE
HEAD, AND IT FELL OFF.
KIND AND GENTLE.
I TELL YOU WHAT, THAT'S
AS FINE AS I'VE EVER PUT IN
MY MOUTH RIGHT THERE.
WELL, Y'ALL NEED TO GET
THROUGH EATING, AND Y'ALL GO
BACK HUNTING.
HOW ABOUT THAT?
LET'S TAKE JOHN LUKE WITH US.
WE'RE GOING TO TRAIN HIM
TO FIND HIM A SQUIRREL-EATING
WOMAN.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
YEAH.
I WOULD CONSIDER IT AN
OBLIGATION TO MY GRANDKIDS TO
SHOW THEM THE GREAT
OUTDOORS, AS THEY SAY.
THE LAST THING I WOULD
WANT FOR MY GRANDKIDS IS THAT
THEY GROW UP TO BE NERDS.
YOU'RE THE BEST, GRANDMA KAY.
MM-HMM.
YOU BRING HOME THE
GAME, OR YOU'RE NOT A MAN.
THAT'S WHAT I SAY.
HOW IN THE HECK ARE WE GONNA
GET THIS DONE?
I THINK OF ALL THE THINGS HE
DISCUSSED, THE CONVEYOR BELT
WAS THE ONE THAT
STUCK OUT IN MY HEAD.
AND IT'S JUST MOVING
DOWN THE LINE.
LIKE A CONVEYOR BELT?
LIKE A CONVEYOR BELT.
WELL, WHERE IN THE WORLD
DO YOU BUY A CONVEYOR BELT?
WELL, LET'S JUST BUILD IT.
FORGET BUYING IT.
WE GOT THE TOOLS OVER HERE.
I GOT IT IN MY HEAD.
YOU GIVE A BUNCH OF REDNECKS
WOOD, TOOLS, SCREWS, AND NAILS,
AND THEY CAN BUILD ANYTHING.
IT MAY NOT BE THE PRETTIEST
ANYTHING, BUT I GUARANTEE
THAT OLD DOG WILL HUNT.
I DON'T KNOW IF IT'LL ACTUALLY
IMPROVE THINGS AROUND
HERE.
IT AIN'T GONNA HURT THINGS.
A CONVEYOR BELT?
THERE'S A LOT OF THINGS
THAT COULD GO WRONG.
I'M IN.
IT AIN'T GOTTA BE STRAIGHT.
THAT'S JUST A SUGGESTION.
CUT RIGHT THERE.
MM-HMM.
THAT LOOKS GOOD.
WORK IT, WORK IT.
THAT'S IT.
WELL, BOYS, I THINK WE DID IT.
LOOKS GOOD.
GOT TO LOVE IT WHEN A
PLAN COMES TOGETHER.
THAT THING LOOKS FACTORY-BUILT.
MOUNTAIN MAN, IT WAS ALL
DUE TO YOUR HAMMERING SKILLS.
WELL, HOW'S IT GOING TO RUN?
MOUNTAIN MAN.
FIRE IT UP!
ALL RIGHT.
UH-OH.
UH-OH.
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
WE GOT A LITTLE MOVEMENT.
WE GOT A LITTLE MOVEMENT.
HERE WE GO.
OH, YEAH.
YEAH, IT'S WORKING.
COME ON, LET'S GET TO WORK.
I WOULD SAY WE HAVE
SUCCESS ON OUR HANDS.
AND MAYBE THAT'S
WHY WILLIE IS THE CEO.
WILLIE'S GOING TO BE
FIRED UP ABOUT THIS.
GENIUS.
IT'S WORKING, BOYS.
WE GOT SOMETHING GOING NOW.
AND HERE WE WERE,
THINKING YOU WERE DUMB.
TEN BOXES?
WE'RE GETTING A BOX A MINUTE.
NOW THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.
I THINK WE CAN
ACTUALLY GO FASTER.
I THINK I CAN GIVE IT SOME
MORE GAS IF YOU WANT.
CRANK IT UP.
YOU KNOW, I'M A BIG
PROPONENT OF PRODUCT TESTING.
WHAT IF WE JUST PUT THE BOX AT
THE END AND PUT THE PRODUCTS
ON THE BELT?
THAT'S FINE WITH ME.
I MEAN, IF WE'RE GONNA BE AS
GOOD AS WE CAN BE, WE GOT TO
SEE WHAT WE'RE WORKING WITH.
GO.
CRANK IT UP!
WHOO!
NOTHING TO IT, BOYS.
OH, WILLIE'S GONNA LIKE THIS.
OKAY.
ALL RIGHT, GIVE US OUR JOBS.
LET'S GO.
WHY DON'T YOU
START WITH THE DVDs?
OKAY.
MISSY, IF YOU CAN GET THE HATS?
OKAY.
NORMALLY, I DON'T GET THE
GIRLS OUT TO ACTUALLY HELP US
PUT ORDERS TOGETHER, BUT
WITH AN ORDER THIS BIG, I NEED ALL
HANDS ON DECK.
WHOO, THIS IS GONNA
BE A GOOD ONE.
I KNOW.
I ALWAYS KNEW THAT IF WE
COULD HIT AN ORDER LIKE THIS,
IT CHANGES EVERYTHING.
YUP.
I'M GONNABACK IN MY OFFICE,
RUN SOME MORE NUMBERS.
WE GOT IT, WE GOT THIS.
I'LL BE BACK.
GOOD DEAL.
ALL RIGHT, MORE DVDs.
ALL RIGHT, JOHN LUKE.
NOW SEE, I'M LOOKING AT YOU.
AND YOUR FACE BE BRIGHT WHITE.
BUT LOOKEE HERE.
I'M GONNA GIVE
YOU A LITTLE OF THIS.
YOU SEE MY FACE?
MM.
MAKE YOUR FACE
LOOK LIKE MY FACE.
YOU GOT A LITTLE
CHICK YOU'RE DATING?
I DO.
I DO.
HOW MUCH MAKEUP IS ON THERE?
NOT MUCH.
THAT'S A GOOD THING.
THE THICKER IT GETS, THE
MORE THEY'RE TRYING TO HIDE.
YOU'RE LOOKING FOR WHAT'S
INSIDE HER HEAD, NOT WHAT'S ON THE
OUTSIDE OF IT.
YES, SIR.
SO YOU CAN GET ALL DOLLED UP,
BUT SHE MAY BE MEAN AS A SNAKE.
LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY... THAT
MAKEUP COULD COVER UP A LOT
OF EVIL, MY MAN.
YOU DON'T WANT NO EVIL WOMAN.
SEE WHAT I'M SAYING?
YES, SIR.
LET'S GO GET MISS
KAY SOME SQUIRRELS.
WHEN YOU'RE IN THE ROBERTSON
FAMILY, YOU TAKE A BOY HUNTING,
YOU'RE TRYING TO TEACH HIM A
FEW THINGS.
TRY NOT TO STEP ON ANY STICKS.
ONE OF THE THINGS IS TO KILL
DELICIOUS MEAT.
THERE'S ONE RIGHT THERE.
GOOD SHOT, JOHN LUKE.
YOU GOT HIM.
WE TEACH THEM THE VALUABLE
KNOWLEDGE ABOUT LIFE, MANHOOD.
SHE COULD BE AN UGLY WOMAN,
BUT IF SHE COOKS SQUIRREL AND
DUMPLINGS, THAT'S THE
WOMAN YOU GO AFTER.
THE MOST IMPORTANT THING
WE TEACH 'EM IS HOW TO BE A
ROBERTSON.
15, 20.
LET 'EM GO.
IF YOU CATCH SQUIRRELS
FOR YOUR WOMAN...
YOUR WOMAN WILL NEVER CUT YOU
OFF IN BED.
JOHN LUKE, YOU SEE
THAT RIGHT THERE?
YES, SIR.
THAT'S THE BEGINNING
OF A BIG BEAVER DAM.
RIGHT ON DOWN THIS THING,
THERE'S A BIG ONE SOMEWHERE.
I THINK IT'S RIGHT
DOWN THROUGH HERE.
THE BEAVER WAR.
NO MATTER HOW MANY YOU GET
RID OF, THEY JUST KEEP COMING.
BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM,
BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM.
BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM.
GOOD GRACIOUS, ALIVE.
WHAT IN THE WORLD?
THAT'S THE PRIZE OF THE DAY.
SI FORGOT TO COME BACK DOWN
HERE AND GET RID OF THAT ONE.
I FINALLY NEED TO PUT
THE MILITARY ON THIS.
BOOM, BOOM.
BLOW THAT SUCKER OUT OF THERE.
LOOKS LIKE THE HUNT'S OVER.
HEY.
UH-OH.
THAT CONVEYOR
BELT IDEA OF WILLIE'S?
IT ACTUALLY WASN'T A BAD IDEA.
THINGS ARE JUST FLYING OFF THE
ASSEMBLY LINE.
WHAT ABOUT A MAN?
WHOO!
WHAT ABOUT MOUNTAIN
MAN IN THE BOAT?
ALL RIGHT, ARE YOU READY?
I'M GONNA LET HER RIP.
HERE WE GO.
NIAGARA FALLS.
YOU READY?
YEAH.
ALL RIGHT, JASE, FIRE IT UP.
HEY!
WHAT IN THE WORLD?
WHAT IS THIS?
I DON'T WANT TO BRAG, BUT
I THINK IS ONE OF THE MOST
IMPRESSIVE THINGS I'VE EVER
BEEN IN CHARGE OF... THE BUILDING
OF THE CONVEYOR BELT.
WELL, I'M READY TO RUN FOR
POLITICAL OFFICE AFTER THAT.
YOU GOT, LIKE, FOUR BOXES DONE.
WE GOT TO HAVE 15 TIMES THAT.
THE FIVE STOOGES
ARE AT IT AGAIN.
I MEAN, IT'S LIKE SPOON-FEEDING
FIVE, CRYING, OVERWEIGHT,
BEARDED BABIES
WITH FULL DIAPERS.
POOPY DIAPERS.
WE JUST GOT TO GET BACK TO WORK.
I MEAN, WE... Y'ALL
AIN'T GOT CRAP DONE.
GET THE BOXES OUT.
THIS, I DON'T LIKE.
THAT, I DEFINITELY DON'T LIKE.
ALL RIGHT, WE'RE READY.
COME ON, LET'S GO.
WE'RE READY.
WORK, WORK, WORK.
JUST WHEN IT WAS GETTING GOOD.
HEY, BABE.
WHAT'S WRONG?
WE'RE NEVER GOING
TO GET THIS DONE.
YES, WE ARE.
WE'RE DOING GOOD.
I GOT THE GUYS OUT
THERE DOING NOTHING.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN
"DOING NOTHING?"
GOOFING OFF.
I LEFT THEM, SAID, LOOK...
THE GUYS ARE GOOFING OFF?
THIS IS THE BIGGEST
ORDER WE GOT.
I THOUGHT THEY
UNDERSTOOD THE MESSAGE.
I GO OUT THERE,
IT'S JUST A CIRCUS.
WHAT?
WHAT DID YOU DO?
I FIRED EVERY ONE OF THEM.
WAIT.
WAIT, WHAT?
I SHOULD HAVE.
REALLY?
THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE
BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED
TO US, BUT BECAUSE
OF THEM IDIOTS...
LUNCH IS HERE.
LUNCH, IT IS.
KAY, I'M NOT EVEN HUNGRY.
YOU'RE NOT HUNGRY?
NO, I CAN'T EVEN STAY,
AND I CAN'T EVEN EAT.
WHY?
I'M SORRY.
BECAUSE THE WHOLE
THING'S FALLING APART.
WE GOT THE BIGGEST
ORDER EVER... HOW BIG IS IT?
TEN TIMES WHAT WE DID LAST YEAR.
WE AND DADDY USED
TO HAVE STUFF LIKE THIS.
KAY, YOU AND DADDY HAD,
LIKE, 12 ORDERS DOWN AT THE
TICKTOCK INN FOR SIX DUCK CALLS.
NO, WE DID NOT.
I MEAN, I DON'T THINK MOM
UNDERSTANDS WHAT WE'RE DEALING
WITH HERE.
THIS IS A
MULTIMILLION-DOLLAR COMPANY.
IT'S NOT A MOM-AND-POP
COMPANY ANYMORE.
TIMES ARE CHANGING, AND THE
OLD WAYS, THEY AIN'T GONNA WORK
ANYMORE.
I NEED, LIKE, 100 PEOPLE UP
HERE TO GET THIS THING DONE.
WHERE THERE'S A
WILL, THERE'S A WAY.
WELL, WILL AIN'T GETTING
HIS WAY, SO IF YOU CAN GET 100
PEOPLE UP HERE, I'M ALL EARS.
JOHN LUKE, WHEN I TELL YOU,
YOU PUSH THAT PLUNGER DOWN
AND WATCH THE ACTION.
THIS IS WHAT THEY
CALL PAYBACK TIME.
YOU DO THE HONORS.
YOU GOT IT?
YES, SIR.
I CAN DO THIS.
GET IT DONE.
BLOW IT.
GOOD MORNING, VIETNAM!
NOW THAT'S THE WAY TO
TAKE A BEAVER DAM OUT, BOYS.
WHOA.
THAT'S IT?
THAT'S IT.
OH, MAN.
ME AND MY BIG IDEAS,
AND MY BIG MOUTH.
WE JUST NEED MORE TIME.
THAT'S WHAT I SHOULD'VE SAID.
SURPRISE!
HEY.
WHAT IS THIS?
I GOT A SURPRISE FOR YOU.
DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE
USED TO DO THOSE OLD-TIMEY PACKING
PARTIES?
YEAH?
REMEMBER MY MOTTO?
EAT AS MUCH AS
YOU CAN EAT... NO.
I'M GONNA WHIP YOU.
WHEN YOU FEED
THEM, THEY WILL COME.
A PACKING PARTY?
THEY'RE COMING.
100 PEOPLE... TO WORK.
ARE YOU KIDDING?
THERE THEY ARE.
OH, MY LORD.
Y'ALL WOULD'VE BEEN IN A
BIND OR THEY WOULDN'T HAVE
BROUGHT THE BIG GUNS IN.
CHANGE IS A GOOD THING, BUT
SOMETIMES, YOU GOT TO GO BACK
TO THE BASICS.
IT'S JUST BEEN MY OBSERVATION
THAT IN THE END, THE OLD-SCHOOL
WAYS, THEY ALWAYS
SEEM TO WORK OUT.
WILLIE WILL FIGURE ALL THAT
STUFF OUT ONE OF THESE DAYS.
HE'S IN HIS 40s.
HE'S JUST A YOUNG BUCK.
OH, WE ARE ROLLING.
WHY IS IT THAT IT DOESN'T SEEM
LIKE WORK WHEN EVERYBODY'S
DOING IT?
Y'ALL CAN EAT SOME PIG.
NOW WE'RE GETTING IT.
NOW WE'RE WORKING.
WELL, MOM.
I CANNOT BELIEVE
YOU PULLED THIS OFF.
PUTTING THE TAPE
ON THE LAST ONE.
ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY.
I JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU SO
MUCH FOR COMING OUT, HELPING
US GET THIS ORDER DONE.
MOST OF ALL, I WANT TO THANK
KAY FOR ALL HER HARD WORK IN
GETTING THIS THING TOGETHER.
AS WE GROW AS A COMPANY,
WE CAN'T FORGET
WHAT GOT US HERE.
AND I FIND MYSELF
REMINDED OF THAT.
DIG IN.
THIS IS THE PLACE WHERE THE
COMPANY NEEDS TO BE BECAUSE
THESE ARE MY PEOPLE... THE SAME
PEOPLE THAT WILL ALWAYS HELP ME OUT.
I GUESS THE NEW WAYS DON'T
ALWAYS HAVE TO BE THE BEST WAYS.
BUT IN THE END, WE NEED TO ALWAYS
REMEMBER WHERE WE CAME FROM.