Duck Dynasty (2012–2017): Season 1, Episode 2 - Episode #1.2 - full transcript
OH, LET'S GET THEM.
NOT BAD, BOYS.
THAT'S SOME PRETTY FANCY
SHOOTING DOWN THERE, JASE.
I WAS TWO FOR TWO.
YOU DIDN'T GET IN
ON ANY OF THAT, WILL?
UH-UH.
WHY ARE YOU PLAYING WITH THAT?
WHY WOULD YOU BRING
YOUR PHONE TO A DUCK HUNT?
HE'S ABOUT THAT TELEPHONE, JASE,
LIKE YOU ARE WITH YOUR SHOTGUN.
WILLIE, I DON'T THINK
YOU HIT ONE DUCK ALL DAY.
YOU'RE JUST BASICALLY
A BIRD WATCHER.
WE SHOT THEM DUCKS AND
WILLIE WAS ON THAT TEXT MESSAGE.
HE NEVER MOVED.
NEVER MOVED.
NEVER MOVED.
THESE GUYS KNOW HOW
TO DUCK HUNT, BUT WHAT
THEY DON'T KNOW HOW
TO DO IS RUN A COMPANY.
THAT'S MY LIFE, YOU KNOW?
BUT THESE CLOWNS, I MEAN, THEY DON'T
RESPECT ANYTHING, ESPECIALLY HARD WORK AND
DEDICATION.
WHY DOES THIS
PHONE KEEP RINGING?
I MEAN, LOOK AT THAT.
YOU KNOW WHY
YOU'RE STRESSED OUT?
BACK ON THE CELL PHONE.
THIS PHONE RINGS
EVERY FIVE SECONDS.
HOLD ON, SHH, SHH, SHH.
RIGHT IN THE HOLE ON
YOUR SIDE, JASE, YOUR SIDE.
ALL RIGHT, CUT 'EM,
CUT 'EM RIGHT THERE.
KILL 'EM.
WELL, I GOT THAT ONE.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
Y'ALL CAN SHUT UP NOW.
I SHOT, HE DIED.
I BEEN LISTENING TO
Y'ALL ALL MORNING LONG.
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, WHO GOT WHAT?
FOR SOME REASON OR ANOTHER,
MY CHILDREN ARE SUPER COMPETITIVE.
I'M NOT QUITE SURE WHY.
I GUESS IT CAME FROM ME.
THE OLD GENE POOL RUNS DEEP.
THE OLD GENE POOL RUNS DEEP.
THE OLD GENE POOL RUNS DEEP.
HERE THEY COME.
HOWDY, HOWDY, HOWDY.
THEY BEEN SLAVING
OVER A BIG BREAKFAST.
IS IT READY, MISS KAY?
IT IS READY TO EAT.
WHERE'S ALL THE YOUNG'UNS?
I DON'T KNOW.
ASK THEIR DADS.
I THINK THEY'RE AT HOME
PLAYING VIDEO GAMES.
IT'S WHAT THEY ALWAYS DO.
PLAYING VIDEO GAMES?
MM-HMM.
LET ME TELL YOU BOYS SOMETHING.
UH-OH, A SERMON COMING.
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A MACHO MAN
SITTING AROUND A LITTLE BLACK BOX?
NOPE, SO I'M TELLING Y'ALL
RIGHT NOW, YOU NEED TO GET
THEM KIDS OUT OF THAT CRAP.
KIDS IN AMERICA TODAY ARE FAT.
I MEAN, THEY'VE GOT THESE LITTLE GAMES...
IT'S JUST YOUR FINGERS THAT YOU'RE MOVING.
YOU'RE NOT OUT AND ABOUT.
LAZY.
I TELL YOU WHAT LET'S DO.
WE'LL GET THEM GRANDKIDS.
I GOT A LITTLE PIECE OF GROUND, A
LOT OF BRUSH AND STUFF IN THERE.
AND HAVE THEM CLEAN THAT
WHOLE THING AS SLICK AS A BUTTON.
YOU KNOW, IT'S PAPAW WORK DAY.
WHAT THEY WON'T KNOW
IS THAT WE'RE GONNA TURN
THAT INTO A FOOTBALL
FIELD FOR THE ROBERTSON
FAMILY...
OH, THAT'S AWESOME.
FOOTBALL GAME.
THE ROBERTSONS LOVE FOOTBALL.
I MEAN, IT'S OUR PASSION.
PHIL PLAYED IN
COLLEGE, WAS A STAR.
WE ALL PLAY.
WE TAKE IT VERY SERIOUSLY.
I'M ONE OF THE COACHES.
I JUST WISH WE HAD
MORE TIME TO PRACTICE.
WILLIE.
THIS IS JUST FOR FUN.
AIN'T NOTHING FOR
FUNSIES IN THIS FAMILY.
THIS IS FOR REAL.
HE NEEDS TO
PRACTICE A LITTLE BIT.
I COULD PRACTICE
IF I HAD YO' JOB.
OH, YEAH, I MEAN... YOU WOULDN'T
MAKE IT ONE DAY DOING WHAT I DO.
OH!
ONE DAY.
WE DOIN' ALL THE WORK ALREADY.
HAVING WILLIE AS MY BOSS,
IT'S LIKE DATING YOUR COUSIN.
IT'S A BIT WEIRD.
YOU WANT MY JOB?
I'LL TAKE OVER.
JASE IS THE CEO FOR THE DAY.
WHAT?
THERE'S A NEW SHERIFF IN TOWN.
LETTING JASE FAIL IS PROBABLY
THE BEST LESSON I CAN TEACH HIM.
HOPEFULLY HE'LL GAIN
SOME RESPECT AND, UH,
REALIZE, A LOT MORE TO
IT THAN HOW EASY I MAKE
IT LOOK.
ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE IN CHARGE.
I GOT IT.
I'LL TAKE THE CHALLENGE.
HOW HARD CAN IT BE?
YOU CAN DO IT, MAN.
I JUST GOT PROMOTED
IN ABOUT 12 SECONDS.
GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.
COULD WE GO UNDER IN ONE DAY?
WELL, BOYS, WILLIE IS GONE.
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT THE
DIFFERENCE IN ME AND WILLIE IS?
WHAT?
I MAKE THIS LOOK GOOD.
AND GUESS WHAT ELSE.
I GOT SOME RULES.
UNBELIEVABLE.
HE'S FIXIN' TO GO
ON A POWER TRIP.
THE NUMBER ONE RULE IS...
THERE ARE NO RULES.
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
I LIKE THAT NOW.
I LIKE THAT.
I CAN LIVE WITH THIS.
THERE AIN'T A BUSINESS
BONE IN JASON'S BODY.
JASON'S GOT JUST ABOUT AS MUCH
BUSINESS SENSE AS A STICK OF BUTTER.
WILLIE THINKS THAT YOU HAVE TO BE
MISERABLE TO GET SOMETHING ACCOMPLISHED.
WE WILL WORK AND HAVE
A GOOD TIME DOING IT.
OH, YEAH.
AS A DUCK CALL BUILDER, I KNOW
THE NEEDS OF THE COMMON PEOPLE.
I SPEAK DUCK.
CALL ME A QUACK.
IT'S RIGHT ON TARGET.
ANYBODY GOT ANY
QUESTIONS ABOUT THAT?
NOPE, I UNDERSTOOD
THAT PERFECTLY!
NOW YOU'RE TALKING MY LANGUAGE.
RED, WHEN THEY GET HERE, I
WANT THEM TO BREAK OUT A SWEAT.
ALL RIGHT.
THE ROBERTSON CLAN
WENT FROM POOR TO RICH.
SO I'M DEALING NOW
WITH LITTLE RICH KIDS.
NOW THAT'S A GOOD LOOKING
BUNCH OF GRANDKIDS RIGHT THERE.
I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP
THEM SEE THEIR CORE VALUES.
SO YOU'RE GONNA LEARN THE OLD ROBERTSON
WAY OF CLEARING YOU A GARDEN SPOT.
ARE Y'ALL READY TO GET IT?
YES, SIR.
BY THE WAY, ANYBODY
GOT A CELL PHONE ON 'EM?
WELL, LOOKIE HERE
WHAT WE GOT HERE.
SEE THIS THING RIGHT HERE?
YOU NEVER SWEAT USING THIS.
YOU NEVER WORK.
YOU JUST ON THIS JUST LIKE THIS.
I DON'T OWN A CELL PHONE AT ALL.
NATURE... THEY NEED
TO GET INTO THAT MORE.
LOOKING 'ROUND WHAT
THE ALMIGHTY CREATED.
I'M A LOW-TECH MAN
IN A HIGH-TECH WORLD.
THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST DANGEROUS
CONTRAPTIONS ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH.
SEE THAT HERE?
Y'ALL GOTTA REMEMBER...
PART OF BEING A ROBERTSON IS
KNOWING HOW TO LIVE OFF THE LAND.
WE'RE GONNA LEARN
ABOUT A HARD DAY'S WORK.
HELLO?
ALL RIGHT.
YOU DONE?
YEP.
I WANT YOU TO START ON
THAT FAR END, AND WHEN
YOU GET DONE, SMOOTH
AS A BABY'S BUTT ALL THE
WAY.
IT'S A NEW CONCEPT FOR Y'ALL.
WORK.
NOW GET Y'ALL'S TAIL DOWN THERE.
All: YES, SIR.
I MEAN, WORK LIKE THERE
AIN'T NO TOMORROW.
IT'S GONNA TAKE TILL TOMORROW.
WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE, BABE?
HOW DID YOU MANAGE THIS?
BEING AN ALUMNI
HAS ITS ADVANTAGES.
WOW.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
"WILLIE'S TRAINING COMBINE."
I ADMIT, I'M IMPRESSED.
KORIE'S MY WIFE, SO SHE
PROBABLY WANTS TO BE ON MY TEAM.
THE ONLY PROBLEM WITH
THAT IS SHE'S TERRIBLE.
COOL.
LOOK AT THIS.
LUCKILY, COACH
WILLIE'S IN THE HOUSE.
WHAT ARE WE DOING?
ALL RIGHT.
IF SOMEHOW I CAN GET
WHAT'S IN HERE IN HERE...
OH.
NO DOUBT, WE WIN.
I THOUGHT THIS WHOLE
DEAL WAS SUPPOSED TO BE,
LIKE, A FAMILY GAME
FOR THE KIDS TO LEARN A
LESSON.
IT IS A FAMILY GAME, BUT IT'S A
FAMILY GAME WE'RE GONNA WIN.
MY MASTER PLAN FOR KORIE IS TO TURN
HER INTO A LEAN, MEAN FOOTBALL MACHINE.
THIS DRILL'S GONNA WORK
ON YOUR HANDS, ALL RIGHT?
ALL RIGHT, I'M READY.
WHEN THE BALL COMES, I
WANT YOUR HANDS TO GET SOFT.
JUST LIKE YOU'RE
CATCHING A BIRD.
YOU DON'T WANNA KILL IT.
I GOT IT, COME ON.
HEY, CHECK YOURSELF.
YOU'RE GONNA WRECK YOURSELF.
WATCH IT IN.
OH!
OW.
BABE, YOU HIT ME IN THE FACE.
I DON'T CARE.
LET YOUR NOSE
HURTING MOTIVATE YOU.
BACK IN POSITION, LET'S GO.
WE'RE GONNA GET
OURSELVES IN SHAPE AND
WE'RE GONNA BE READY
FOR THIS FOOTBALL GAME.
WE GOTTA GET THESE
ORDERS OUT HERE.
SO HERE'S WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO.
BEING THE CEO OF
THIS COMPANY IS EASY.
MY WHOLE IDEA IS GETTING THE
WORK DONE WITHOUT KNOWING IT.
WE'RE GONNA WORK AND
WE'RE GONNA ENJOY IT.
THERE'S A LOT OF DEBATE ABOUT
WHO IS THE FASTEST DUCK CALL MAKER.
NO, THERE IS NO DEBATE.
NO, NO DEBATE. IT'S ME.
ME.
THE FIRST ONE TO TEN...
WELL, THIS WON'T TAKE LONG.
WINS.
GO!
HERE WE GO.
THAT'S ALL OF IT.
BETTER STEP IT UP A NOTCH.
DING DING.
DING DING.
MY PLAN AS THE
CEO IS TO INSPIRE.
THEY GET EXCITED, ALL
OF A SUDDEN YOU LOOK UP
AND THEY'RE DOING THINGS
THEY NEVER DREAMED
THEY COULD DO.
BIG BOYS NEVER
GET TO WIN A RACE.
I'M KIND OF EXCITED
ABOUT THE CHANCE.
DING DING.
IT'S COMING DOWN TO THE WIRE.
DING.
NINE-EIGHT GODWIN!
GIVING SI THE DUCK CALL.
DING.
NINE-NINE.
HE'S DOWN, HE'S DOWN, HE'S DOWN.
CALL!
DING!
BOOM! THERE'S THE WINNER!
YEAH!
MARTIN WINS.
THAT'S THE BEST I'VE FELT
ABOUT DOING WORK IN A LONG TIME.
YOU KNOW WHAT THE
BEAUTY OF THIS IS?
WHAT?
Y'ALL MADE 19 DUCK
CALLS IN UNDER 2 MINUTES.
I COULD POSSIBLY BE
THE GREATEST CEO EVER.
PAPAW PHIL, HOW ARE
WE GONNA MOVE THIS?
ONE OF YOU'S GONNA PICK
UP ONE END AND ONE OF
YOU'S GONNA PICK UP
THE OTHER END AND THROW
IT UP ON THAT TRAILER.
WATCH YOUR FINGERS.
HAVING GRANDKIDS
IS A GREAT BLESSING.
COME ON UP, PRETTY BOYS.
ESPECIALLY FOR HEAVY LIFTING.
THEY'RE MORPHING INTO
PRODUCTIVE CITIZENS OF AMERICA.
COME ON THERE, KIDS.
YOU'RE IN THE GREAT OUTDOORS.
BE HAPPY.
MOVE, MOVE, MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!
MY ASSESSMENT OF KORIE,
I'VE DETERMINED THAT...
SHE CAN'T CATCH.
SHE CAN'T RUN REAL GOOD.
FASTER, FASTER!
SHE HAS A TERRIBLE ATTITUDE.
I'M GETTING SICK OF THIS.
I'M STRUGGLING TO FIND ANYTHING REALLY
THAT SHE'S GOOD AT IN THE GAME OF FOOTBALL.
KNEES UP.
WE'RE RUNNING DRILLS.
WE'RE NOT TRYING TO,
LIKE, KILL EACH OTHER.
HUT!
HUT.
GO.
OH, OH, AAH, AAH, AAH!
GET UP, DO IT AGAIN.
WILLIE, I'M DONE.
KORIE'S JUST UNCOACHABLE.
I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE.
I'M GONE.
I DON'T THINK SHE'S GOOD
ENOUGH FOR TEAM WILLIE.
BUT I DIDN'T MARRY HER FOR HER FOOTBALL
SKILLS, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING.
BYE.
SHE GONE.
ORDER READY.
OH!
WHOO!
WE'RE CHANGING THE
FACE OF THE COMPANY...
IN 24 HOURS.
THERE'S A LOT OF
WORK BEING DONE.
WE DONE IT NOW.
BUT IN THE WORKPLACE,
STRESS IS THE KILLER.
SIT IT RIGHT HERE?
YEAH.
SOMETIMES YOU JUST NEED
A LITTLE TIME TO UNWIND.
AND THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW,
YOU'RE JOUSTING WITH A BOX OVER
YOU, SEEING WHO'S A MAN.
GO!
OOH!
I'VE DONE MY JOB HERE TODAY.
OH, MAN.
I TOLD YOU I WAS THE FASTEST
DUCK CALL BUILDER OUT OF... HEY!
WHAT'S ALL THAT
JUNK SHRINK-WRAPPED?
NO, THAT'S PROBABLY
FOR TOMORROW.
THEY PROBABLY GOT IT PACKED
UP... NO, THAT'S FOR TODAY.
UH-OH.
IF WE MISS THE ORDER, I KNOW I'M
GONNA FEEL THE WRATH OF WILLIE.
WELL, THAT'S A BIG ONE.
THAT AIN'T GONNA
FIT IN MY PICKUP.
WE GOTTA TAKE THE 18-WHEELER?
WE AIN'T GOT NOBODY
TO DRIVE THE 18-WHEELER.
HEY, IF YOU CAN CRANK
IT, I CAN DRIVE IT, JACK.
UH... I DON'T KNOW.
I DROVE A TANKER IN VIETNAM.
I CAN DRIVE AN 18-WHEELER.
SOMETIMES IN LIFE, YOU DO HAVE
TO TRUST UNLIKELY CANDIDATES.
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
I... HEY, I'M DEAD SERIOUS.
THE DOOR HAS BEEN SHUT.
THE WINDOW HAPPENS TO BE
AN 18-WHEELER WITH SI DRIVING.
HEY, LET'S GO.
IT'S A SMALL WINDOW.
BUT IT IS A WINDOW OF HOPE.
YOU BETTER HURRY UP.
SI GONNA LEAVE WITHOUT YOU.
THAT'S GOOD.
HEY, HEY!
HEY!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
HEY, HEY!
AH, LET HIM GO.
HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
SOONER OR LATER.
ALL RIGHT, BIG TEAM.
LOOK HERE.
I AM THOROUGHLY PLEASED WITH
WHAT Y'ALL HAVE DONE HERE TODAY.
Y'ALL REPORT BACK HERE
TOMORROW AND I GOT ONE
MORE LITTLE JOB FOR
YOU WHEN YOU GET HERE.
I'M PRETTY FIRED UP ABOUT
SHOWING THE KIDS THE FIELD.
I MEAN, THEY'LL BE SURPRISED.
SAME TIME TOMORROW.
All: YES, SIR.
GOOD WORK.
THANK YOU.
THEY'LL LOVE IT.
LET'S GO.
GONNA BE SORE TOMORROW.
DEFINITELY.
SO HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN SINCE
YOU'VE DRIVEN A TRUCK LIKE THIS?
VIETNAM, '68, '69.
40 YEARS, SI, SINCE
YOU'VE DRIVEN A TRUCK?
OH, HEY, I'VE DRIVEN WHAT?
UH, 1/4-TON JEEPS, 3/4-TON, DEUCE AND
A HALF, 5-TON, 10-TON, M60 TANKS, M113.
I CAN DRIVE ANYTHING.
SI'S A TERRIBLE DRIVER.
WATCH THIS DITCH.
WHOO!
AND HE HAS NO
SENSE OF DIRECTION.
I THINK WE OUGHT
TO GO LEFT HERE.
NO.
THIS ROAD THAT WE'RE ON,
IT'S NOT EVEN ON THE MAP.
I MAY SHOULD HAVE TOOK
A... A RIGHT BACK YONDER.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHERE WE
WERE ABOUT 20 MINUTES AGO.
YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.
YOU REALIZE THAT ONE OF
THE LAST FRONTIERS, ONE
OF THE LAST BITS OF
UNDISCOVERED TERRITORIES
IS SI'S BRAIN.
WELL, WHAT CITY ARE WE IN?
WELL, WHAT?
SOMEBODY'S GOTTA DRIVE THE TRUCK
AND I REALLY DON'T HAVE A BETTER OPTION.
MY NECK'S ON THE LINE HERE.
WHOA, COME BACK HERE.
ARE YOU JUST TRYING TO
FIND ANY SLOT THAT IT'LL GO IN?
YEAH.
HEY, THIS SUCKER.
OPERATION FOOTBALL
FIELD IS ALMOST COMPLETE.
AND I'M CALLING IN MUSCLE TO
DRIVE THIS SUCKER INTO THE END ZONE.
ALL RIGHT, NOW LOOK AROUND.
LOOK TO YOUR RIGHT,
LOOK TO YOUR LEFT.
THIS, MY MAN, IS
A FOOTBALL FIELD.
OH, IT NEEDS A LITTLE TOUCH UP.
Y'ALL NEED TO KIND OF BLOW
THESE LEAVES OUTTA HERE.
SO JUST DOING WHAT
WE DO THEN, HUH?
YEAH.
Y'ALL GOTTA KNOCK IT
OUT BEFORE SUNDOWN.
Y'ALL GET ON THIS
STRING RIGHT HERE.
PAINT US A LINE
THROUGH THERE, GODWIN.
I GOT A "STRANG" I CAN FOLLOW.
WHAT YOU CALL IT? "STRANG"?
THAT'S WHAT IT IS.
A "STRANG."
IT'S THE ONLY FOOTBALL FIELD
I KNOW OF IN THESE PARTS.
OKAY, WHAT'S THE DEAL?
IS THIS THING CHILDPROOF?
OH, YEAH.
OH! THAT'S HOLDIN'.
THAT OUGHT TO DO IT.
FILL HER IN.
I WOULD CALL THAT CLOSE ENOUGH.
IT'S A FINE FOOTBALL FIELD.
WHAT DO Y'ALL THINK?
YEAH.
SURE.
I THINK THIS WAS
WORTH THE INVESTMENT.
I'M KINDA LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.
PLAY A LITTLE BALL
MYSELF, YOU KNOW?
OOH, LOOSEN UP THE
OLD WING A LITTLE BIT.
YOU KNOW, THERE WERE
SEVEN KIDS IN THE ROBERTSON
FAMILY AND AFTER ALL
THE SMOKE CLEARED,
ALL OF THEM BUT ONE
HAVE COLLEGE DEGREES.
I'VE GOTTA KNOW.
WHO'S THE ONLY ROBERTSON THAT
DOESN'T HAVE A COLLEGE DEGREE?
LOOK DEEP WITHIN THE
EYES OF SILAS ROBERTSON
AND YOU'LL SAY, "NO,
THERE AIN'T NO COLLEGE
DEGREE THERE."
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
OH, MY GOODNESS.
THERE'S NOBODY HERE.
IT'S OVER.
WE DIDN'T MAKE IT.
WE'RE NEVER GONNA HEAR
THE END OF THIS FROM WILLY.
YOU GOTTA PUT THE
BLAME WHERE IT BELONGS.
HEY, JASE WAS CEO FOR A DAY
AND HE JUST COULDN'T HANDLE IT.
I'M GOING WITH THE TRUTH.
IT WAS ALL SI'S FAULT.
WILLIE'S GONNA KILL US.
WELL, HEY, IT AIN'T NOTHING
I CAN DO ABOUT THAT NOW.
WE DONE SCREWED THE POOCH HERE.
THAT JUST SOUNDS SO PAINFUL.
LOOK WHAT ALL THAT
HARD WORK DID FOR YOU.
OH, MY GOODNESS.
HOLY COW.
THIS IS AWESOME.
OH, MY GOSH.
Y'ALL THOUGHT Y'ALL WERE
MAKING OLD PAPAW A GARDEN SPOT.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
I LOVE IT.
THIS IS AWESOME.
GOLLY.
Y'ALL SEE WHAT A LITTLE HARD
WORK AND A LITTLE SWEAT'LL GET YOU?
PAID OFF, DIDN'T IT?
All: YES, SIR.
ARE WE JUST GONNA PLAY?
I GOT THE WHOLE FAMILY COMING.
IT'S THE ROBERTSONS AGAINST THE ROBERTSONS
RIGHT ON THIS BALL FIELD Y'ALL MADE.
YES, SIR.
YEAH, IT'S GONNA BE AWESOME.
THERE COMES THE REST
OF THE TEAM RIGHT THERE.
HEY, WE EVEN GOT THE
CHEERLEADERS THERE.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S
SEE WHAT YOU GOT.
I KNOW IT'S IMPORTANT
THAT I TELL WILLIE THAT
I MISSED THIS SHIPMENT,
BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY,
I GOTTA WIN THIS FOOTBALL GAME.
YOU DON'T RATTLE A CAGED ANIMAL
BEFORE YOU ENTER THE ARENA.
LET'S GO!
ALL RIGHT, LET'S
PICK THESE TEAMS.
I MEAN, IT'S A TOUGH
THING PICKING TEAMS.
I MEAN, YOU GOTTA MAKE
A DECISION REALLY QUICK.
YOU GOTTA THINK ABOUT SIZE.
GODWIN.
I NEED SOME BEEF IN THE MIDDLE.
YOU GOTTA THINK ABOUT AGILITY.
SADIE.
HANDS.
UH-OH, NOW YOU GOT A CHOICE.
YOUR FIRSTBORN OR YOUR WIFE.
UM...
SHE'S MY WIFE.
I MEAN, HOW CAN I
NOT PICK MY OWN WIFE?
JOHN LUKE, COME ON.
WILLIE?
OOH...
HERE WE GO.
HEY.
BUT I DON'T REMEMBER IN THOSE VOWS
ANYTHING ABOUT A FOOTBALL GAME, SO...
I DIDN'T WANNA BE ON
YOUR TEAM ANYWAY.
CHECK YOUR ATTITUDE AT THE DOOR.
WELCOME TO THE ROBERTSON
ANNUAL FOOTBALL GAME.
PLAY BALL.
I THINK THE QUALITIES OF BEING A CEO GOES
HAND IN HAND WITH BEING A GOOD FOOTBALL
PLAYER.
WHOA!
AND THE PURPLE TEAM SCORES!
I CAN RUN, I CAN
CATCH, I CAN THROW.
TOUCHDOWN!
THAT'S HOW YOU PLAY
SOME FOOTBALL, BOYS.
I MEAN, I'M PRETTY MUCH
THE TOTAL PACKAGE.
AND THE KICK...
GET IT, GET IT, GET IT!
OH!
HE COVERS IT.
I'M GONNA WIN THIS GAME
BECAUSE REALLY, I'M JUST SMARTER.
TOTAL DOMINATION.
BOOM! YEAH!
LORD, PLEASE HELP
US WIN THIS GAME.
'CAUSE IT'S BAD ENOUGH THAT I'VE
SCREWED UP AND MISSED THE SHIPMENT.
I HATE TO HEAR ABOUT THIS
GAME THE REST OF MY LIFE.
ALL RIGHT, COME ON.
SHE'S IN THE SHOTGUN.
THERE'S THE SNAP.
FAKE.
WHOA!
HE'S GOING LONG.
BOOM!
TOUCHDOWN NUMBER 11!
SHOULD HAVE PICKED ME, HUH?
IT'S A TIE BALL GAME NOW WITH
FOUR SECONDS LEFT ON THE CLOCK.
WILLIE HAS MADE THIS PERSONAL.
COME ON, Y'ALL.
IT'S THE GAME RIGHT HERE.
OH, WE WILL WIN.
BLUE 13, HUT!
THERE'S THE SNAP.
THE PRESSURE IS ON.
IT'S A PASS.
I'VE GOT IT.
OH, INTERCEPTION!
TOUCHDOWN!
BALL GAME!
IT'S GONNA BE EASIER
TO TELL WILLIE THAT WE
MISSED THE SHIPMENT
WHEN HE'S MIRED IN THE
HUMILIATION OF A DEFEAT.
HEY, WILL, LOOK HERE.
LET ME HELP HIM UP.
LOSING TO JASE IS
JUST HUMILIATING.
I MEAN, JUST THE THOUGHT
OF IT MAKES ME SICK.
I'M GONNA HEAR
ABOUT THIS ALL YEAR.
YEAH, THIS MAY BE A TERRIBLE TIME TO TELL
YOU THIS, BUT, UH, WE MISSED THAT ORDER.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU MISSED IT?
IT DID NOT GET TO
ITS DESTINATION.
DID YOU SEE HOW
BIG THAT ORDER WAS?
OH, YEAH, IT WAS HUGE.
YOU HAD ONE JOB TO DO.
NO, I... I DID A GOOD JOB.
WE JUST HAD ONE MISHAP.
JASE, YOU GOTTA THINK
ABOUT THE BIG PICTURE.
WELL, LET ME
EXPLAIN THIS TO YOU.
I DON'T WANNA BE CEO.
I UNDERSTAND THE
PRESSURES OF IT.
I DON'T WANT THAT.
YOU DO A GOOD JOB.
FROM NOW ON, I'LL
GIVE YOU MORE RESPECT.
JASE IS AN IDIOT,
BUT HE'S MY BROTHER.
WHEN I NEED TO DEPEND
ON HIM, HE'LL BE THERE.
SO YOU'RE NOT MAD AT US?
NO, I AIN'T MAD.
WELL, HE'S NOT THE BEST CEO IN THE
WORLD, BUT THAT'S WHY IT'S A TEAM.
WE HAVE TO RELY ON EACH OTHER.
GROWING UP AROUND THESE PARTS, YOU
FIND HARD WORK AND FAMILY GO HAND IN HAND.
FATHER, THANK YOU FOR THESE
GOOD FISH YOU PROVIDED US WITH.
YOU'VE ALWAYS PROVIDED
US FROM THE THINGS THAT
LIVE IN THE WOODS AND
THE WATER AND WE ARE
THANKFUL.
AMEN.
All: AMEN.
DIG IN!
WHEN A FAMILY BANDS TOGETHER, THERE'S
NO LIMIT TO HOW MUCH YOU CAN ACCOMPLISH.
COMPETITION AND SIBLING
RIVALRY, THAT'S JUST
HOW WE CHALLENGE EACH
OTHER TO BE EVEN BETTER.
AND AFTER A WHILE, YOU
COME TO REALIZE THAT
WORKING HARD AND
HAVING FUN AIN'T THAT MUCH
DIFFERENT.
HEY, WILLIE, WHEN YOU GET HOME,
GIVE YOUR WIFE A KISS FOR ME.
SHE PLAYS A HELL OF A GAME.
NOT BAD, BOYS.
THAT'S SOME PRETTY FANCY
SHOOTING DOWN THERE, JASE.
I WAS TWO FOR TWO.
YOU DIDN'T GET IN
ON ANY OF THAT, WILL?
UH-UH.
WHY ARE YOU PLAYING WITH THAT?
WHY WOULD YOU BRING
YOUR PHONE TO A DUCK HUNT?
HE'S ABOUT THAT TELEPHONE, JASE,
LIKE YOU ARE WITH YOUR SHOTGUN.
WILLIE, I DON'T THINK
YOU HIT ONE DUCK ALL DAY.
YOU'RE JUST BASICALLY
A BIRD WATCHER.
WE SHOT THEM DUCKS AND
WILLIE WAS ON THAT TEXT MESSAGE.
HE NEVER MOVED.
NEVER MOVED.
NEVER MOVED.
THESE GUYS KNOW HOW
TO DUCK HUNT, BUT WHAT
THEY DON'T KNOW HOW
TO DO IS RUN A COMPANY.
THAT'S MY LIFE, YOU KNOW?
BUT THESE CLOWNS, I MEAN, THEY DON'T
RESPECT ANYTHING, ESPECIALLY HARD WORK AND
DEDICATION.
WHY DOES THIS
PHONE KEEP RINGING?
I MEAN, LOOK AT THAT.
YOU KNOW WHY
YOU'RE STRESSED OUT?
BACK ON THE CELL PHONE.
THIS PHONE RINGS
EVERY FIVE SECONDS.
HOLD ON, SHH, SHH, SHH.
RIGHT IN THE HOLE ON
YOUR SIDE, JASE, YOUR SIDE.
ALL RIGHT, CUT 'EM,
CUT 'EM RIGHT THERE.
KILL 'EM.
WELL, I GOT THAT ONE.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
Y'ALL CAN SHUT UP NOW.
I SHOT, HE DIED.
I BEEN LISTENING TO
Y'ALL ALL MORNING LONG.
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, WHO GOT WHAT?
FOR SOME REASON OR ANOTHER,
MY CHILDREN ARE SUPER COMPETITIVE.
I'M NOT QUITE SURE WHY.
I GUESS IT CAME FROM ME.
THE OLD GENE POOL RUNS DEEP.
THE OLD GENE POOL RUNS DEEP.
THE OLD GENE POOL RUNS DEEP.
HERE THEY COME.
HOWDY, HOWDY, HOWDY.
THEY BEEN SLAVING
OVER A BIG BREAKFAST.
IS IT READY, MISS KAY?
IT IS READY TO EAT.
WHERE'S ALL THE YOUNG'UNS?
I DON'T KNOW.
ASK THEIR DADS.
I THINK THEY'RE AT HOME
PLAYING VIDEO GAMES.
IT'S WHAT THEY ALWAYS DO.
PLAYING VIDEO GAMES?
MM-HMM.
LET ME TELL YOU BOYS SOMETHING.
UH-OH, A SERMON COMING.
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A MACHO MAN
SITTING AROUND A LITTLE BLACK BOX?
NOPE, SO I'M TELLING Y'ALL
RIGHT NOW, YOU NEED TO GET
THEM KIDS OUT OF THAT CRAP.
KIDS IN AMERICA TODAY ARE FAT.
I MEAN, THEY'VE GOT THESE LITTLE GAMES...
IT'S JUST YOUR FINGERS THAT YOU'RE MOVING.
YOU'RE NOT OUT AND ABOUT.
LAZY.
I TELL YOU WHAT LET'S DO.
WE'LL GET THEM GRANDKIDS.
I GOT A LITTLE PIECE OF GROUND, A
LOT OF BRUSH AND STUFF IN THERE.
AND HAVE THEM CLEAN THAT
WHOLE THING AS SLICK AS A BUTTON.
YOU KNOW, IT'S PAPAW WORK DAY.
WHAT THEY WON'T KNOW
IS THAT WE'RE GONNA TURN
THAT INTO A FOOTBALL
FIELD FOR THE ROBERTSON
FAMILY...
OH, THAT'S AWESOME.
FOOTBALL GAME.
THE ROBERTSONS LOVE FOOTBALL.
I MEAN, IT'S OUR PASSION.
PHIL PLAYED IN
COLLEGE, WAS A STAR.
WE ALL PLAY.
WE TAKE IT VERY SERIOUSLY.
I'M ONE OF THE COACHES.
I JUST WISH WE HAD
MORE TIME TO PRACTICE.
WILLIE.
THIS IS JUST FOR FUN.
AIN'T NOTHING FOR
FUNSIES IN THIS FAMILY.
THIS IS FOR REAL.
HE NEEDS TO
PRACTICE A LITTLE BIT.
I COULD PRACTICE
IF I HAD YO' JOB.
OH, YEAH, I MEAN... YOU WOULDN'T
MAKE IT ONE DAY DOING WHAT I DO.
OH!
ONE DAY.
WE DOIN' ALL THE WORK ALREADY.
HAVING WILLIE AS MY BOSS,
IT'S LIKE DATING YOUR COUSIN.
IT'S A BIT WEIRD.
YOU WANT MY JOB?
I'LL TAKE OVER.
JASE IS THE CEO FOR THE DAY.
WHAT?
THERE'S A NEW SHERIFF IN TOWN.
LETTING JASE FAIL IS PROBABLY
THE BEST LESSON I CAN TEACH HIM.
HOPEFULLY HE'LL GAIN
SOME RESPECT AND, UH,
REALIZE, A LOT MORE TO
IT THAN HOW EASY I MAKE
IT LOOK.
ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE IN CHARGE.
I GOT IT.
I'LL TAKE THE CHALLENGE.
HOW HARD CAN IT BE?
YOU CAN DO IT, MAN.
I JUST GOT PROMOTED
IN ABOUT 12 SECONDS.
GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.
COULD WE GO UNDER IN ONE DAY?
WELL, BOYS, WILLIE IS GONE.
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT THE
DIFFERENCE IN ME AND WILLIE IS?
WHAT?
I MAKE THIS LOOK GOOD.
AND GUESS WHAT ELSE.
I GOT SOME RULES.
UNBELIEVABLE.
HE'S FIXIN' TO GO
ON A POWER TRIP.
THE NUMBER ONE RULE IS...
THERE ARE NO RULES.
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
I LIKE THAT NOW.
I LIKE THAT.
I CAN LIVE WITH THIS.
THERE AIN'T A BUSINESS
BONE IN JASON'S BODY.
JASON'S GOT JUST ABOUT AS MUCH
BUSINESS SENSE AS A STICK OF BUTTER.
WILLIE THINKS THAT YOU HAVE TO BE
MISERABLE TO GET SOMETHING ACCOMPLISHED.
WE WILL WORK AND HAVE
A GOOD TIME DOING IT.
OH, YEAH.
AS A DUCK CALL BUILDER, I KNOW
THE NEEDS OF THE COMMON PEOPLE.
I SPEAK DUCK.
CALL ME A QUACK.
IT'S RIGHT ON TARGET.
ANYBODY GOT ANY
QUESTIONS ABOUT THAT?
NOPE, I UNDERSTOOD
THAT PERFECTLY!
NOW YOU'RE TALKING MY LANGUAGE.
RED, WHEN THEY GET HERE, I
WANT THEM TO BREAK OUT A SWEAT.
ALL RIGHT.
THE ROBERTSON CLAN
WENT FROM POOR TO RICH.
SO I'M DEALING NOW
WITH LITTLE RICH KIDS.
NOW THAT'S A GOOD LOOKING
BUNCH OF GRANDKIDS RIGHT THERE.
I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP
THEM SEE THEIR CORE VALUES.
SO YOU'RE GONNA LEARN THE OLD ROBERTSON
WAY OF CLEARING YOU A GARDEN SPOT.
ARE Y'ALL READY TO GET IT?
YES, SIR.
BY THE WAY, ANYBODY
GOT A CELL PHONE ON 'EM?
WELL, LOOKIE HERE
WHAT WE GOT HERE.
SEE THIS THING RIGHT HERE?
YOU NEVER SWEAT USING THIS.
YOU NEVER WORK.
YOU JUST ON THIS JUST LIKE THIS.
I DON'T OWN A CELL PHONE AT ALL.
NATURE... THEY NEED
TO GET INTO THAT MORE.
LOOKING 'ROUND WHAT
THE ALMIGHTY CREATED.
I'M A LOW-TECH MAN
IN A HIGH-TECH WORLD.
THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST DANGEROUS
CONTRAPTIONS ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH.
SEE THAT HERE?
Y'ALL GOTTA REMEMBER...
PART OF BEING A ROBERTSON IS
KNOWING HOW TO LIVE OFF THE LAND.
WE'RE GONNA LEARN
ABOUT A HARD DAY'S WORK.
HELLO?
ALL RIGHT.
YOU DONE?
YEP.
I WANT YOU TO START ON
THAT FAR END, AND WHEN
YOU GET DONE, SMOOTH
AS A BABY'S BUTT ALL THE
WAY.
IT'S A NEW CONCEPT FOR Y'ALL.
WORK.
NOW GET Y'ALL'S TAIL DOWN THERE.
All: YES, SIR.
I MEAN, WORK LIKE THERE
AIN'T NO TOMORROW.
IT'S GONNA TAKE TILL TOMORROW.
WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE, BABE?
HOW DID YOU MANAGE THIS?
BEING AN ALUMNI
HAS ITS ADVANTAGES.
WOW.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
"WILLIE'S TRAINING COMBINE."
I ADMIT, I'M IMPRESSED.
KORIE'S MY WIFE, SO SHE
PROBABLY WANTS TO BE ON MY TEAM.
THE ONLY PROBLEM WITH
THAT IS SHE'S TERRIBLE.
COOL.
LOOK AT THIS.
LUCKILY, COACH
WILLIE'S IN THE HOUSE.
WHAT ARE WE DOING?
ALL RIGHT.
IF SOMEHOW I CAN GET
WHAT'S IN HERE IN HERE...
OH.
NO DOUBT, WE WIN.
I THOUGHT THIS WHOLE
DEAL WAS SUPPOSED TO BE,
LIKE, A FAMILY GAME
FOR THE KIDS TO LEARN A
LESSON.
IT IS A FAMILY GAME, BUT IT'S A
FAMILY GAME WE'RE GONNA WIN.
MY MASTER PLAN FOR KORIE IS TO TURN
HER INTO A LEAN, MEAN FOOTBALL MACHINE.
THIS DRILL'S GONNA WORK
ON YOUR HANDS, ALL RIGHT?
ALL RIGHT, I'M READY.
WHEN THE BALL COMES, I
WANT YOUR HANDS TO GET SOFT.
JUST LIKE YOU'RE
CATCHING A BIRD.
YOU DON'T WANNA KILL IT.
I GOT IT, COME ON.
HEY, CHECK YOURSELF.
YOU'RE GONNA WRECK YOURSELF.
WATCH IT IN.
OH!
OW.
BABE, YOU HIT ME IN THE FACE.
I DON'T CARE.
LET YOUR NOSE
HURTING MOTIVATE YOU.
BACK IN POSITION, LET'S GO.
WE'RE GONNA GET
OURSELVES IN SHAPE AND
WE'RE GONNA BE READY
FOR THIS FOOTBALL GAME.
WE GOTTA GET THESE
ORDERS OUT HERE.
SO HERE'S WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO.
BEING THE CEO OF
THIS COMPANY IS EASY.
MY WHOLE IDEA IS GETTING THE
WORK DONE WITHOUT KNOWING IT.
WE'RE GONNA WORK AND
WE'RE GONNA ENJOY IT.
THERE'S A LOT OF DEBATE ABOUT
WHO IS THE FASTEST DUCK CALL MAKER.
NO, THERE IS NO DEBATE.
NO, NO DEBATE. IT'S ME.
ME.
THE FIRST ONE TO TEN...
WELL, THIS WON'T TAKE LONG.
WINS.
GO!
HERE WE GO.
THAT'S ALL OF IT.
BETTER STEP IT UP A NOTCH.
DING DING.
DING DING.
MY PLAN AS THE
CEO IS TO INSPIRE.
THEY GET EXCITED, ALL
OF A SUDDEN YOU LOOK UP
AND THEY'RE DOING THINGS
THEY NEVER DREAMED
THEY COULD DO.
BIG BOYS NEVER
GET TO WIN A RACE.
I'M KIND OF EXCITED
ABOUT THE CHANCE.
DING DING.
IT'S COMING DOWN TO THE WIRE.
DING.
NINE-EIGHT GODWIN!
GIVING SI THE DUCK CALL.
DING.
NINE-NINE.
HE'S DOWN, HE'S DOWN, HE'S DOWN.
CALL!
DING!
BOOM! THERE'S THE WINNER!
YEAH!
MARTIN WINS.
THAT'S THE BEST I'VE FELT
ABOUT DOING WORK IN A LONG TIME.
YOU KNOW WHAT THE
BEAUTY OF THIS IS?
WHAT?
Y'ALL MADE 19 DUCK
CALLS IN UNDER 2 MINUTES.
I COULD POSSIBLY BE
THE GREATEST CEO EVER.
PAPAW PHIL, HOW ARE
WE GONNA MOVE THIS?
ONE OF YOU'S GONNA PICK
UP ONE END AND ONE OF
YOU'S GONNA PICK UP
THE OTHER END AND THROW
IT UP ON THAT TRAILER.
WATCH YOUR FINGERS.
HAVING GRANDKIDS
IS A GREAT BLESSING.
COME ON UP, PRETTY BOYS.
ESPECIALLY FOR HEAVY LIFTING.
THEY'RE MORPHING INTO
PRODUCTIVE CITIZENS OF AMERICA.
COME ON THERE, KIDS.
YOU'RE IN THE GREAT OUTDOORS.
BE HAPPY.
MOVE, MOVE, MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!
MY ASSESSMENT OF KORIE,
I'VE DETERMINED THAT...
SHE CAN'T CATCH.
SHE CAN'T RUN REAL GOOD.
FASTER, FASTER!
SHE HAS A TERRIBLE ATTITUDE.
I'M GETTING SICK OF THIS.
I'M STRUGGLING TO FIND ANYTHING REALLY
THAT SHE'S GOOD AT IN THE GAME OF FOOTBALL.
KNEES UP.
WE'RE RUNNING DRILLS.
WE'RE NOT TRYING TO,
LIKE, KILL EACH OTHER.
HUT!
HUT.
GO.
OH, OH, AAH, AAH, AAH!
GET UP, DO IT AGAIN.
WILLIE, I'M DONE.
KORIE'S JUST UNCOACHABLE.
I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE.
I'M GONE.
I DON'T THINK SHE'S GOOD
ENOUGH FOR TEAM WILLIE.
BUT I DIDN'T MARRY HER FOR HER FOOTBALL
SKILLS, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING.
BYE.
SHE GONE.
ORDER READY.
OH!
WHOO!
WE'RE CHANGING THE
FACE OF THE COMPANY...
IN 24 HOURS.
THERE'S A LOT OF
WORK BEING DONE.
WE DONE IT NOW.
BUT IN THE WORKPLACE,
STRESS IS THE KILLER.
SIT IT RIGHT HERE?
YEAH.
SOMETIMES YOU JUST NEED
A LITTLE TIME TO UNWIND.
AND THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW,
YOU'RE JOUSTING WITH A BOX OVER
YOU, SEEING WHO'S A MAN.
GO!
OOH!
I'VE DONE MY JOB HERE TODAY.
OH, MAN.
I TOLD YOU I WAS THE FASTEST
DUCK CALL BUILDER OUT OF... HEY!
WHAT'S ALL THAT
JUNK SHRINK-WRAPPED?
NO, THAT'S PROBABLY
FOR TOMORROW.
THEY PROBABLY GOT IT PACKED
UP... NO, THAT'S FOR TODAY.
UH-OH.
IF WE MISS THE ORDER, I KNOW I'M
GONNA FEEL THE WRATH OF WILLIE.
WELL, THAT'S A BIG ONE.
THAT AIN'T GONNA
FIT IN MY PICKUP.
WE GOTTA TAKE THE 18-WHEELER?
WE AIN'T GOT NOBODY
TO DRIVE THE 18-WHEELER.
HEY, IF YOU CAN CRANK
IT, I CAN DRIVE IT, JACK.
UH... I DON'T KNOW.
I DROVE A TANKER IN VIETNAM.
I CAN DRIVE AN 18-WHEELER.
SOMETIMES IN LIFE, YOU DO HAVE
TO TRUST UNLIKELY CANDIDATES.
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
I... HEY, I'M DEAD SERIOUS.
THE DOOR HAS BEEN SHUT.
THE WINDOW HAPPENS TO BE
AN 18-WHEELER WITH SI DRIVING.
HEY, LET'S GO.
IT'S A SMALL WINDOW.
BUT IT IS A WINDOW OF HOPE.
YOU BETTER HURRY UP.
SI GONNA LEAVE WITHOUT YOU.
THAT'S GOOD.
HEY, HEY!
HEY!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
HEY, HEY!
AH, LET HIM GO.
HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
SOONER OR LATER.
ALL RIGHT, BIG TEAM.
LOOK HERE.
I AM THOROUGHLY PLEASED WITH
WHAT Y'ALL HAVE DONE HERE TODAY.
Y'ALL REPORT BACK HERE
TOMORROW AND I GOT ONE
MORE LITTLE JOB FOR
YOU WHEN YOU GET HERE.
I'M PRETTY FIRED UP ABOUT
SHOWING THE KIDS THE FIELD.
I MEAN, THEY'LL BE SURPRISED.
SAME TIME TOMORROW.
All: YES, SIR.
GOOD WORK.
THANK YOU.
THEY'LL LOVE IT.
LET'S GO.
GONNA BE SORE TOMORROW.
DEFINITELY.
SO HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN SINCE
YOU'VE DRIVEN A TRUCK LIKE THIS?
VIETNAM, '68, '69.
40 YEARS, SI, SINCE
YOU'VE DRIVEN A TRUCK?
OH, HEY, I'VE DRIVEN WHAT?
UH, 1/4-TON JEEPS, 3/4-TON, DEUCE AND
A HALF, 5-TON, 10-TON, M60 TANKS, M113.
I CAN DRIVE ANYTHING.
SI'S A TERRIBLE DRIVER.
WATCH THIS DITCH.
WHOO!
AND HE HAS NO
SENSE OF DIRECTION.
I THINK WE OUGHT
TO GO LEFT HERE.
NO.
THIS ROAD THAT WE'RE ON,
IT'S NOT EVEN ON THE MAP.
I MAY SHOULD HAVE TOOK
A... A RIGHT BACK YONDER.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHERE WE
WERE ABOUT 20 MINUTES AGO.
YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.
YOU REALIZE THAT ONE OF
THE LAST FRONTIERS, ONE
OF THE LAST BITS OF
UNDISCOVERED TERRITORIES
IS SI'S BRAIN.
WELL, WHAT CITY ARE WE IN?
WELL, WHAT?
SOMEBODY'S GOTTA DRIVE THE TRUCK
AND I REALLY DON'T HAVE A BETTER OPTION.
MY NECK'S ON THE LINE HERE.
WHOA, COME BACK HERE.
ARE YOU JUST TRYING TO
FIND ANY SLOT THAT IT'LL GO IN?
YEAH.
HEY, THIS SUCKER.
OPERATION FOOTBALL
FIELD IS ALMOST COMPLETE.
AND I'M CALLING IN MUSCLE TO
DRIVE THIS SUCKER INTO THE END ZONE.
ALL RIGHT, NOW LOOK AROUND.
LOOK TO YOUR RIGHT,
LOOK TO YOUR LEFT.
THIS, MY MAN, IS
A FOOTBALL FIELD.
OH, IT NEEDS A LITTLE TOUCH UP.
Y'ALL NEED TO KIND OF BLOW
THESE LEAVES OUTTA HERE.
SO JUST DOING WHAT
WE DO THEN, HUH?
YEAH.
Y'ALL GOTTA KNOCK IT
OUT BEFORE SUNDOWN.
Y'ALL GET ON THIS
STRING RIGHT HERE.
PAINT US A LINE
THROUGH THERE, GODWIN.
I GOT A "STRANG" I CAN FOLLOW.
WHAT YOU CALL IT? "STRANG"?
THAT'S WHAT IT IS.
A "STRANG."
IT'S THE ONLY FOOTBALL FIELD
I KNOW OF IN THESE PARTS.
OKAY, WHAT'S THE DEAL?
IS THIS THING CHILDPROOF?
OH, YEAH.
OH! THAT'S HOLDIN'.
THAT OUGHT TO DO IT.
FILL HER IN.
I WOULD CALL THAT CLOSE ENOUGH.
IT'S A FINE FOOTBALL FIELD.
WHAT DO Y'ALL THINK?
YEAH.
SURE.
I THINK THIS WAS
WORTH THE INVESTMENT.
I'M KINDA LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.
PLAY A LITTLE BALL
MYSELF, YOU KNOW?
OOH, LOOSEN UP THE
OLD WING A LITTLE BIT.
YOU KNOW, THERE WERE
SEVEN KIDS IN THE ROBERTSON
FAMILY AND AFTER ALL
THE SMOKE CLEARED,
ALL OF THEM BUT ONE
HAVE COLLEGE DEGREES.
I'VE GOTTA KNOW.
WHO'S THE ONLY ROBERTSON THAT
DOESN'T HAVE A COLLEGE DEGREE?
LOOK DEEP WITHIN THE
EYES OF SILAS ROBERTSON
AND YOU'LL SAY, "NO,
THERE AIN'T NO COLLEGE
DEGREE THERE."
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
OH, MY GOODNESS.
THERE'S NOBODY HERE.
IT'S OVER.
WE DIDN'T MAKE IT.
WE'RE NEVER GONNA HEAR
THE END OF THIS FROM WILLY.
YOU GOTTA PUT THE
BLAME WHERE IT BELONGS.
HEY, JASE WAS CEO FOR A DAY
AND HE JUST COULDN'T HANDLE IT.
I'M GOING WITH THE TRUTH.
IT WAS ALL SI'S FAULT.
WILLIE'S GONNA KILL US.
WELL, HEY, IT AIN'T NOTHING
I CAN DO ABOUT THAT NOW.
WE DONE SCREWED THE POOCH HERE.
THAT JUST SOUNDS SO PAINFUL.
LOOK WHAT ALL THAT
HARD WORK DID FOR YOU.
OH, MY GOODNESS.
HOLY COW.
THIS IS AWESOME.
OH, MY GOSH.
Y'ALL THOUGHT Y'ALL WERE
MAKING OLD PAPAW A GARDEN SPOT.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
I LOVE IT.
THIS IS AWESOME.
GOLLY.
Y'ALL SEE WHAT A LITTLE HARD
WORK AND A LITTLE SWEAT'LL GET YOU?
PAID OFF, DIDN'T IT?
All: YES, SIR.
ARE WE JUST GONNA PLAY?
I GOT THE WHOLE FAMILY COMING.
IT'S THE ROBERTSONS AGAINST THE ROBERTSONS
RIGHT ON THIS BALL FIELD Y'ALL MADE.
YES, SIR.
YEAH, IT'S GONNA BE AWESOME.
THERE COMES THE REST
OF THE TEAM RIGHT THERE.
HEY, WE EVEN GOT THE
CHEERLEADERS THERE.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S
SEE WHAT YOU GOT.
I KNOW IT'S IMPORTANT
THAT I TELL WILLIE THAT
I MISSED THIS SHIPMENT,
BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY,
I GOTTA WIN THIS FOOTBALL GAME.
YOU DON'T RATTLE A CAGED ANIMAL
BEFORE YOU ENTER THE ARENA.
LET'S GO!
ALL RIGHT, LET'S
PICK THESE TEAMS.
I MEAN, IT'S A TOUGH
THING PICKING TEAMS.
I MEAN, YOU GOTTA MAKE
A DECISION REALLY QUICK.
YOU GOTTA THINK ABOUT SIZE.
GODWIN.
I NEED SOME BEEF IN THE MIDDLE.
YOU GOTTA THINK ABOUT AGILITY.
SADIE.
HANDS.
UH-OH, NOW YOU GOT A CHOICE.
YOUR FIRSTBORN OR YOUR WIFE.
UM...
SHE'S MY WIFE.
I MEAN, HOW CAN I
NOT PICK MY OWN WIFE?
JOHN LUKE, COME ON.
WILLIE?
OOH...
HERE WE GO.
HEY.
BUT I DON'T REMEMBER IN THOSE VOWS
ANYTHING ABOUT A FOOTBALL GAME, SO...
I DIDN'T WANNA BE ON
YOUR TEAM ANYWAY.
CHECK YOUR ATTITUDE AT THE DOOR.
WELCOME TO THE ROBERTSON
ANNUAL FOOTBALL GAME.
PLAY BALL.
I THINK THE QUALITIES OF BEING A CEO GOES
HAND IN HAND WITH BEING A GOOD FOOTBALL
PLAYER.
WHOA!
AND THE PURPLE TEAM SCORES!
I CAN RUN, I CAN
CATCH, I CAN THROW.
TOUCHDOWN!
THAT'S HOW YOU PLAY
SOME FOOTBALL, BOYS.
I MEAN, I'M PRETTY MUCH
THE TOTAL PACKAGE.
AND THE KICK...
GET IT, GET IT, GET IT!
OH!
HE COVERS IT.
I'M GONNA WIN THIS GAME
BECAUSE REALLY, I'M JUST SMARTER.
TOTAL DOMINATION.
BOOM! YEAH!
LORD, PLEASE HELP
US WIN THIS GAME.
'CAUSE IT'S BAD ENOUGH THAT I'VE
SCREWED UP AND MISSED THE SHIPMENT.
I HATE TO HEAR ABOUT THIS
GAME THE REST OF MY LIFE.
ALL RIGHT, COME ON.
SHE'S IN THE SHOTGUN.
THERE'S THE SNAP.
FAKE.
WHOA!
HE'S GOING LONG.
BOOM!
TOUCHDOWN NUMBER 11!
SHOULD HAVE PICKED ME, HUH?
IT'S A TIE BALL GAME NOW WITH
FOUR SECONDS LEFT ON THE CLOCK.
WILLIE HAS MADE THIS PERSONAL.
COME ON, Y'ALL.
IT'S THE GAME RIGHT HERE.
OH, WE WILL WIN.
BLUE 13, HUT!
THERE'S THE SNAP.
THE PRESSURE IS ON.
IT'S A PASS.
I'VE GOT IT.
OH, INTERCEPTION!
TOUCHDOWN!
BALL GAME!
IT'S GONNA BE EASIER
TO TELL WILLIE THAT WE
MISSED THE SHIPMENT
WHEN HE'S MIRED IN THE
HUMILIATION OF A DEFEAT.
HEY, WILL, LOOK HERE.
LET ME HELP HIM UP.
LOSING TO JASE IS
JUST HUMILIATING.
I MEAN, JUST THE THOUGHT
OF IT MAKES ME SICK.
I'M GONNA HEAR
ABOUT THIS ALL YEAR.
YEAH, THIS MAY BE A TERRIBLE TIME TO TELL
YOU THIS, BUT, UH, WE MISSED THAT ORDER.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU MISSED IT?
IT DID NOT GET TO
ITS DESTINATION.
DID YOU SEE HOW
BIG THAT ORDER WAS?
OH, YEAH, IT WAS HUGE.
YOU HAD ONE JOB TO DO.
NO, I... I DID A GOOD JOB.
WE JUST HAD ONE MISHAP.
JASE, YOU GOTTA THINK
ABOUT THE BIG PICTURE.
WELL, LET ME
EXPLAIN THIS TO YOU.
I DON'T WANNA BE CEO.
I UNDERSTAND THE
PRESSURES OF IT.
I DON'T WANT THAT.
YOU DO A GOOD JOB.
FROM NOW ON, I'LL
GIVE YOU MORE RESPECT.
JASE IS AN IDIOT,
BUT HE'S MY BROTHER.
WHEN I NEED TO DEPEND
ON HIM, HE'LL BE THERE.
SO YOU'RE NOT MAD AT US?
NO, I AIN'T MAD.
WELL, HE'S NOT THE BEST CEO IN THE
WORLD, BUT THAT'S WHY IT'S A TEAM.
WE HAVE TO RELY ON EACH OTHER.
GROWING UP AROUND THESE PARTS, YOU
FIND HARD WORK AND FAMILY GO HAND IN HAND.
FATHER, THANK YOU FOR THESE
GOOD FISH YOU PROVIDED US WITH.
YOU'VE ALWAYS PROVIDED
US FROM THE THINGS THAT
LIVE IN THE WOODS AND
THE WATER AND WE ARE
THANKFUL.
AMEN.
All: AMEN.
DIG IN!
WHEN A FAMILY BANDS TOGETHER, THERE'S
NO LIMIT TO HOW MUCH YOU CAN ACCOMPLISH.
COMPETITION AND SIBLING
RIVALRY, THAT'S JUST
HOW WE CHALLENGE EACH
OTHER TO BE EVEN BETTER.
AND AFTER A WHILE, YOU
COME TO REALIZE THAT
WORKING HARD AND
HAVING FUN AIN'T THAT MUCH
DIFFERENT.
HEY, WILLIE, WHEN YOU GET HOME,
GIVE YOUR WIFE A KISS FOR ME.
SHE PLAYS A HELL OF A GAME.