Duck Dynasty (2012–2017): Season 1, Episode 12 - Fishin' for Business - full transcript
I SEE A LOT OF GOOD
BAITFISH OUT HERE.
NOW, WILLIE, YOU'RE A CEO.
WHEN'S THE LAST TIME
YOU WENT BAIT SANDING?
AH, IT'S BEEN A WHILE.
BEEN A WHILE?
HOW ABT EVER?
SANDING? SHOOT.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
WHEN WE WE'RE KIDS, DO
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID?
YOU SAT UP HERE AND ATE
POP-TARTS AT THE HOUSE...
OH, BULL CRAP.
WHILE WE WAS OUT THERE
CATCHING ALL THE FISH.
JASE IS A BIT DELUSIONAL WHEN IT
COMES TO CHILDHOOD MEMORIES.
ALL RIGHT, BRING 'EM UP HERE.
YEAH, GO AHEAD AND
HAVE YOU A SEAT THERE.
THAT BRINGS BACK
THE BIGGEST MEMORY.
HE THINKS HE CAUGHT ALL THE
FISH WE SOLD WHEN WE WERE KIDS.
I BELIEVE THAT WAS
ME CATCHING THE FISH.
HE WAS THE "HELPER."
YUP, YOU'RE EITHER SITTING ON
YOUR BUTT OR ON YOUR PHONE.
CHECKING THE WEATHER, SON.
WELL, I CAN TELL YOU
RIGHT NOW, IT'S FINE.
WILLIE LIKES TO SIT AND WALLOW.
THAT'S HOW HE GOT THE
NICKNAME, "BOSS HOG."
HE LIKES TO SIT AND
BOSS EVERYBODY AROUND.
MAYBE THAT'S WHY
WILLIE IS THE CEO.
BUT WHEN I SAY CEO, THAT STANDS
FOR CAVEMAN WITH AN EGO WHO'S OBESE.
WILLIE, DO YOU EVEN
KNOW HOW TO FISH?
SON, I CAN CATCH ANY
FISH IN THAT WATER.
LET'S HAVE A COMPETITION.
WHO CAN MAKE THE MOST MONEY?
CATCHIN' FISH?
CATCHIN' FISH.
THEY COMPETE IN EVERYTHING.
DON'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE
WHAT IT IS, WHETHER
IT BE HORSEBACK RIDING,
THROWING HORSESHOES,
PLAYING BASEBALL.
OH, THEY HAD A KNOCKDOWN DRAG-OUT ONE
TIME OVER MAKING A COUPLE PIECES OF TOAST.
THEY JUST GETTING MORE STUPID.
THIS IS AN OLD-FASHIONED
"CATCH AND SELL."
WE CATCH 'EM, WE SELL 'EM.
A'IGHT, HOW ABOUT I
TAKE PHIL, YOU TAKE SI?
OH, I'LL JUST TAKE SI JUST
FOR PURE ENTERTAINMENT.
ALL RIGHT, I'LL BRING JOHN
LUKE ALONG.
ALL RIGHT AND I'LL BRING REED.
THE STAKES ARE HIGHER NOW THAT OUR SONS
ARE INVOLVED, 'CAUSE NOBODY WANTS TO GET
WHUPPED IN FRONT OF THEIR SON.
A'IGHT!
THE BET'S ON!
IT'S TIME TO PUT WILLIE IN
HIS PLACE ONCE AND FOR ALL.
I SPENT MY WHOLE
LIFE ON THE WATER.
YOU SPENT YOUR
WHOLE LIFE ON THE BANK.
EATIN' HOT DOGS.
IT'S EMBARRASSING.
IT'S EMBARRASSING.
IT'S EMBARRASSING.
ARE YOU HAVING FUN YET, REED?
I'M HAVING FUN.
YOU GOING WITH THEM
OR YOU GOING WITH ME?
I'M GOING WITH THEM.
YOU GOING WITH THEM?
OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
I GOT JOHN LUKE.
WHERE'S JOHN LUKE?
WELL, HE'S WITH WILLIE.
I KNOW, HE AIN'T HERE.
HE AIN'T HERE.
YEAH.
AND HE DIDN'T EVEN SHOW UP.
HE KNOWS HE HAS NO
CHANCE TO BEAT ME IN FISHIN'.
WILLIE'S THROWING IN THE TOWEL.
WHAT IN THE WORLD?
OH, MY GOD.
CHECK OUT THAT RIG.
THIS IS WILLIE
FLEXING HIS MUSCLES.
AND A MAN OF HIS STATURE,
HE DON'T HAVE MANY.
SO WHEN HE FINDS ONE,
HE REALLY PUTS ON A SHOW.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
IS THERE A FISHING TOURNAMENT
GOING ON AROUND HERE?
NO, NOT REALLY.
'CAUSE YOU AIN'T GONNA CATCH
DIDDLY-SQUAT IN THAT THING.
WHEN I BUY A BOAT, IT'S GONNA
BE THE BEST MONEY CAN BUY.
IT'S MY BASS BOAT,
STATE OF THE ART.
I'M TALKING RADAR, SONAR, FISH-FINDER,
DEPTH-FINDER, GPS SATELLITE TV.
THIS THING'S GOT IT ALL.
THAT AIN'T GONNA
HELP YOU CATCH FISH.
LOOK LIKE HE DROVE
UP IN A SPACESHIP.
TAKE OFF IN THAT
THING, GO TO THE MOON.
WHAT ARE Y'ALL FISHING OUT OF?
WE FISHING OUT
OF A FISHING BOAT.
OL' FAITHFUL.
WE AIN'T SHOWBOATIN', SON.
WE FIXIN' TO GO CATCH SOME FISH.
WHY AIN'T Y'ALL
JUST BRING A CANOE?
THEIR BOAT LOOKS
LIKE A TRASH CAN.
IF THERE WERE HOMELESS PEOPLE ON
THE RIVER, THEY WOULD LIVE IN THIS BOAT.
GOOD LUCK, BOYS.
HEY, WE AIN'T GONNA NEED LUCK.
THIS IS THE OUACHITA RIVER.
I KNOW IT LIKE THE
BACK OF MY HAND.
YOU'RE GOING DOWN.
Y'ALL LOST BEFORE YOU
EVEN LEFT THE DOCK.
JACK!
KNOCK, KNOCK.
Both: HEY.
HEY.
WHAT Y'ALL GOT?
IT'S DVD-SIGNING TIME.
YOU KNOW, ALL OF THESE.
WHOO, COOKING DVDs.
YEAH.
I'M SURPRISED THAT THESE COOKING
DVDs ARE SELLING LIKE THEY ARE.
I'VE ALREADY SIGNED
ABOUT 50, I THOUGHT.
YOU GOTTA SIGN MORE.
THEY'RE THAT GOOD.
OH, THE STRESSES OF FAME.
KAY, YOU GOT FLOUR ALL
OVER YOUR PRETTY SHIRT.
WELL, LOOK AT THE PROBLEM.
HER BOOBS ARE HANGING
OUT ON EITHER SIDE.
KORIE.
THE GIRLS ARE JUST
NOW NOTICING THIS?
LOOK, LOOK.
YEAH.
IT'S EITHER ONE
BOOB OR THE OTHER.
YEAH.
I'VE HAD TO DEAL WITH FLOUR
ON MY BOOBS MY ENTIRE LIFE.
DO THEY MAKE APRONS FOR,
LIKE, BIG-BOOBED WOMEN?
WE CALL IT FULL-FIGURED, LADIES.
FULL-FIGURED.
MISS KAY DOESN'T LIKE IT
WHEN WE SAY "LARGE-BREASTED."
I THINK IT JUST THAT SHE'S
FROM THAT OLDER ERA,
BUT FROM OUR ERA WE LIKE
TO SAY "LARGE KAHUNAS."
WE NEED TO MAKE YOU
ONE THAT COMES TO HERE.
EVERYWHERE YOU GO, YOU SEE
SOMEBODY WITH LARGE BOOBS.
I THINK THEY'RE WOULD BE A HUGE
MARKET FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS.
MAKE HER AN APRON.
KORIE, YOU CAN MARKET IT.
AND SELL IT, LIKE IN OUR
COMMANDER KITCHEN LINE.
YES, WE SHOULD.
OKAY, BUT WHO CAN SEW?
DON'T LOOK AT ME.
WHAT?
SEW?
I THOUGHT AT EVERYBODY IN
YOUR GENERATION COULD SEW.
THAT'S A LIE.
WHEN I WAS IN THE EIGHTH
GRADE, WE HAD HOME EC.
HALF A OF YEAR COOKING,
HALF A OF YEAR SEWING.
STRAIGHT "A" s IN THE COOKING.
"D" s IN THE SEWING.
I HELD UP MY FINISHED DRESS,
AND IT FELL APART RIGHT BEFORE
THE TEACHER.
KAY CAN'T SEW.
THAT'S SURPRISING.
WELL, IT CAN'T BE THAT HARD.
I MADE CURTAINS BEFORE.
YEAH.
I CAN MAKE AN APRON.
WELL, YOU MAKE SURE
YOU GET ENOUGH MATERIAL.
THAT'S TRUE.
THAT'S RIGHT.
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
YEAH, WE'LL GO
PICK OUT THE FABRIC.
OKAY.
OKAY, WE'LL BE BACK.
ALL RIGHT, BYE.
MY OWN APRONS.
THAT'LL MAKE PHIL
HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY.
YOU COULD HAVE SPENT
$1 MILLION ON A BOAT.
THAT DON'T MEAN YOU
GONNA CATCH SQUAT.
WILLIE REMINDS ME OF A TOURIST, YOU KNOW,
IN THAT BOAT THAT HE BROUGHT DOWN THERE.
HE'S ON A SIGHTSEEING EXCURSION.
YOU KNOW, HE'S
NOT REALLY FISHING.
THE KEY TO FISHING IS
KNOWING WHERE THEY AT.
I KNOW WHEN BUFFALO SPAWN.
AND EVEN THOUGH YOU
DON'T GET A WHOLE LOT OF
MONEY FOR 'EM, IF YOU
CATCH ENOUGH OF ANYTHING,
YOU GOT MONEY.
THEY ADD UP.
RIGHT NOW, I CAN PICTURE WILLIE
BORED OUT OF HIS MIND ON HIS FANCY BOAT.
WHOO!
YES, IT WILL.
NOW LET'S GO CATCH THOSE FISH.
I GOT A FISH ALL IN MY
DEPTH-FINDER THERE.
THIS COMPETITION IS OVER
BEFORE IT EVEN STARTED.
I HAVE PHIL ON MY TEAM.
PHIL IS THE MASTER OF
ALL THINGS IN THE WATER.
JOHN LUKE, GET
YOUR NET READY, SON.
HE'S LIKE A FISH WHISPERER.
HE CAN JUST SUMMON FISH.
AND THEY COME UP TO THE SURFACE.
YOU GOT ANYTHING?
NO.
IT AIN'T WORKING OUT GOOD.
HUH.
SHOOT.
GOT ANYTHING?
NO.
HMM.
WHEN IT COMES TO FISHING, WILL'S
JUST THERE FOR MORAL SUPPORT.
DOES IT FEEL HEAVY?
NOT YET.
BAIT GONE?
HAD A COUPLE BAITS ON IT.
YOU DON'T NECESSARILY HAVE TO
DO ALL THE WORK TO CATCH FISH.
FEEL ANY PULLING?
I DON'T FEEL NOTHING YET.
AS LONG AS YOU GOT A
GOOD TEAM ASSEMBLED,
YOU CAN SIT BACK AND
MANAGE THE WHOLE THING.
THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING.
JOHN LUKE, GET YOUR NET READY.
SEE THAT?
MM-HMM.
PUT THAT UP UNDER
HIM, RIGHT THERE.
I SEE... WHOA.
THAT'S HIM.
MONEY.
OPELOUSAS!
IT WENT FROM GAME-ON TO GAME
OVER IN A MATTER OF MINUTES.
NOW THAT'S WHAT
I'M TALKING ABOUT.
CATFISH, THE PRIDE OF THE RIVER.
I'M TALKING THE EXPENSIVE FISH.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
HOW MUCH?
JASE DOESN'T STAND A CHANCE.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S
CATCHING, BUT WE CATCHING MONEY.
WE GOT SOME FISH.
CHA-CHING.
CHA-CHING.
CHA-CHING, CHA-CHING!
I CAN'T GO 10 FEET
WITHOUT CATCHING ONE.
LOOK, THEY JUST KEEP COMING!
LOOK AT THAT.
MY METHOD IS FAR
SUPERIOR TO WILLIE'S...
BECAUSE WILLIE HAS NO METHOD.
THAT'S THE BIGGEST ONE
OF THE DAY RIGHT THERE.
WHOO, THAT'S A
10-POUNDER RIGHT THERE.
PRETTY AMAZING.
ALL RIGHT.
GET ON IN THERE.
WHOO!
I SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT TWO TUBS.
I'M ALL ABOUT TEACHING MY SON.
YOU GOT A GOAL
OR A TARGET IN LIFE...
REED, IN THIS WORLD
TODAY, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.
YOU GO FOR IT.
IF YOU GOT ENOUGH MONEY, YOU
CAN GO FROM A MAN TO A WOMAN.
YOU CAN LOOK LIKE A MODEL.
OH, YEAH.
YEAH, THAT'S TRUE.
MM-HMM, YUP.
HEY, I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S
A GOOD TNG OR A BAD THING.
HOW MANY Y'ALL GOT?
WE GOT MORE THAN YOU.
OH, WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT?
HOW YOU KNOW YOU
GOT MORE THAN ME?
WE GOT MORE THAN
THE TUB'LL HOLD.
WHOA.
HA.
CHA-CHING.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
YOU CAN CATCH ALL THE
FISH IN THE WORLD, BUT
IF YOU CAN'T SELL 'EM,
YOU GOT A BUNCH OF
FISH.
HEY, IT AIN'T ABOUT
CATCHIN' THE MOST.
IT'S ABOUT WHO MAKES
THE MOST MONEY.
HEY, WE CAUGHT MORE THAN Y'ALL DID,
AND WE GONNA MAKE MORE MONEY THAN Y'ALL.
JASE CAN'T SELL CRAP.
NEVER HAS BEEN ABLE
TO DO IT, NEVER WILL.
THIS AIN'T OVER, SON.
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
WATCH OUT, REED!
UH-OH.
MAN DOWN.
MAN DOWN.
YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!
YEEHAW!
YEAH, YOU'LL BE ALL RIGHT.
SUCK IT UP.
HE'S ACTING LIKE HE'S FOUR.
HEY.
FOUND SOME MORE FABRIC.
AND I GOT A YARDSTICK.
WE ARE ALL SET UP.
WE GOT OUR SEWING MACHINES.
WE'VE GOT OUR FABRIC AND THREAD.
I THINK THIS IS GONNA BE FUN.
THERE'LL BE NO FLOUR ON THE
BOOBIES WITH THIS APRON, KAY.
I GOT TO SEE HOW BIG
THESE THINGS REALLY ARE.
KAY'S BOOBS... I CAN'T EVEN WRAP
MY ARMS AROUND THESE SUCKERS.
I DON'T KNOW IF WE CAN
CONTAIN THESE SUCKERS.
YEAH.
THEY'RE OUT OF CONTROL.
WAIT, DO YOU THINK THE
BOBBIN IS DONE RIGHT, THEN?
THE BOBBIN, I THINK, IS FINE.
WAIT, DID THIS... OH, GOD.
MY HAIR'S STUCK.
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
OH, MY GOODNESS.
OH.
OKAY, GREAT.
FREE.
WHO CAME UP WITH
SEWING MACHINES?
IT'S SO COMPLICATED.
I MEAN, YOU GOT TO HAVE AN ENGINEERING
DEGREE JUST TO THREAD THE NEEDLE.
WE'RE SMART.
WE'RE SMART WOMEN.
YEAH.
WE CAN DO THIS.
UH-OH, I GOT A PROBLEM.
WHAT?
I DIDN'T FOLD THAT OVER ENOUGH.
YEAH, THAT'S NOT REALLY
WHAT YOU CALL A STRAIGHT LINE.
THESE GIRLS' SEWING SKILLS ARE
LOOKING AS BAD AS THEIR COOKING SKILLS.
I REALLY THOUGHT
THIS WOULD BE EASIER.
Y'ALL ARE JUST
MAKING ME NERVOUS.
YOU'RE SELLING, SON.
IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHO YOUR CUSTOMER
IS, YOU AIN'T GONNA SELL NOTHING.
ONE THING I LOVE DOING IS TEACHING MY
CHILDREN WHAT I DO AND ABOUT BUSINESS.
I'VE BEEN SELLING FISH EVER
SINCE I WAS YOUNGER THAN YOU.
THAT'S WHY WE'LL BEAT JASE.
HE DOESN'T HAVE A
CLUE WHAT HE'S DOING.
COME BUY SOME FISH!
REED, DON'T DO THAT
WITH THE KNIFE, MAN.
YOU'RE SCARIN' THEM.
I KNOW SALES IS MY WEAKNESS.
NOW WE SIT, AND WE WAIT.
BUT I FEEL PRETTY
GOOD ABOUT MY PLAN.
I MEAN, THERE'S A CAR THAT'S
COMING BY HERE EVERY FIVE SECONDS.
OH, NO.
LOOK AT THIS.
"FRESH FISH, SELL QUICK."
WHO IS GONNA STOP BY IN THE
BLAZING SUN WHILE IT'S BURNING
HOT AND BUY A BUNCH OF STINKY,
TRASH FISH ON THE BACK OF A TRUCK?
WHAT KIND OF BOOTLEG
OPERATION YOU GOT GOING ON HERE?
WE THOUGHT WE'D CLEAN A COUPLE.
YEAH, THEY KEEP BLOWING
THEIR HORN, BUT THEY WON'T STOP.
WONDER WHY.
QUITE THE PRESENTATION.
BLOOD AND GUTS AND
SCALES EVERYWHERE.
OH, YEAH, THAT'S WHAT
PEOPLE ARE LOOKING FOR.
HOT, STINKY FISH.
JOHN LUKE, HERE'S HOW
YOU DON'T SELL FISH.
YOU WANT TO GIVE UP
NOW OR... I'M NOT GIVING UP.
I'M GONNA STAY HERE TILL SLAP
DARK TILL I SELL ALL THESE FISH.
MAY THE BEST SALESMAN WIN.
THE ONLY THING WILLIE CAN DO
THAT I CAN'T IS MAKE HIS BELLY ROLL.
IT'S LIKE A HUGE WAVE.
IT'S PRETTY COOL.
CLEAN THIS MESS UP.
IT'S AN EMBARRASSMENT
TO OUR FAMILY.
HEY!
WHAT?
JOHN LUKE, LET'S GET OUT HERE!
WATCH OUT FOR RETALIATION.
THROW THAT ON THIS TRUCK.
HEY!
HERE, THROW THEM GUTS.
AH.
OH, YEAH!
OH, YEAH!
DAD GUM, STUPID IDIOT.
GOOD LUCK!
DON'T GROW UP TO BE LIKE WILLIE.
IT'S JUST SAD.
WILLIE DON'T KNOW
WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT.
WE'RE GONNA SELL 'EM.
IT'S GOTTEN A BIT SLOW.
BUT THAT'S ALL PART
OF COMPETITION.
READ MY LIPS.
WELL, YOU CAN'T READ MY LIPS BECAUSE
I HAVE THE BEARD AND THE MUSTACHE.
BUT IF YOU COULD READ MY
LIPS, I WOULD SAY, "I GOT THIS."
HERE WE GO.
IT'S JUST LIKE FISHING.
ALL RIGHT, WE GOT
A NIBBLE RIGHT HERE.
WHAT DO YOU SAY, MOUNTAIN MAN?
HEY, JASE.
WHO'S FISH-HUNGRY?
MM-HMM.
I THOUGHT I SMELLED
SOMETHING... OH, YEAH.
DOWN THERE.
ALL RIGHTY.
MM.
HOW MANY YOU WANT?
I DON'T KNOW, I
AIN'T GOT... SEVEN?
UNDERSTANDING MOUNTAIN MAN IS KIND OF
LIKE HAN SOLO UNDERSTANDING CHEWBACCA.
YOU CAN TAKE ONE FOR
EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK.
YUP.
WELL...
THEY'RE HEAVENLY.
WELL...
EH.
WELL, YOU WANT FIVE?
HEY.
HMM.
HOW MANY YOU WANT?
WHAT I'M TRYING TO SHOW REED
IS THAT HARD WORK PAYS OFF.
I'M ALL ABOUT TEACHING
MY SONS WORK ETHIC.
SELL THEM FOR $5 APIECE, BUT
I'LL SELL YOU THREE OF 'EM FOR $15.
MM-HMM.
UH...
YEAH, I MIGHT GET THREE OF 'EM.
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
MM-HMM.
I MAY NOT BE A
BUSINESSMAN, BUT HEY.
FIRST SALE, I'M FEELING
LIKE A BUSINESSMAN.
SEE WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT?
I CAN DO THIS.
WILLIE'S IN TROUBLE.
NOW WE ROLLING.
WHO ARE YOU TEXTING?
REED.
REED?
SEEING HOW MANY FISH THEY SOLD.
HA!
DON'T BE CONSULTING
WITH THE ENEMY.
HOW MANY HAVE THEY SOLD?
THREE MORE THAN US.
THREE?
I'M STARTING TO GET
A LITTLE WORRIED, BUT
I'M GONNA SHOW MY SON
HOW A REAL BUSINESSMAN
OPERATES.
SELLING'S ALL ABOUT BEING
CONFIDENT, JOHN LUKE.
THEY JUST GOT ANOTHER ONE.
REALLY?
MM-HMM.
CRAP.
HERE WE GO.
WHAT... HERE WE GO.
WAIT.
UH-OH, I THINK YOUR
TIE'S A LITTLE BIT HIGH.
WE HAVE BEEN AT THIS FOR HOURS.
THERE'S A HOLE
STRAIGHT THROUGH IT.
IT'S JUST EMBARRASSING.
I CAN'T BELIEVE WE
CAN'T FIGURE THIS OUT.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF WE
CAN SELL IT FOR FIVE BUCKS.
UH-OH, WE MADE A MESS.
SEWING PARTY.
WE THOUGHT ABOUT MAKING
APRONS FOR FULL-FIGURED WOMEN.
IT'S JUST NOT WORKING.
ALL AFTERNOON, WE'VE TRIED.
YOU KNOW, THESE GIRLS, YOU KNOW,
THEY'RE LIKE FISH OUT OF WATER.
THEY'RE JUST FLOPPING AROUND.
THEY AIN'T GOING NOWHERE, AND
THEY AIN'T GONNA ACCOMPLISH NOTHING.
SHOOT.
OLD SI, YOU KNOW, HE'LL
TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS.
HERE, GO AHEAD AND GET UP.
WHAT?
WHAT?
YOU KNOW HOW TO SEW?
YEAH, I KNOW HOW TO SEW.
YOU CAN'T SEW.
NO, NO, DON'T RUIN THAT.
DON'T RUIN THAT.
YEAH, NO.
THAT'S THE GOOD FABRIC.
WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT?
I'M NOT GONNA RUIN IT.
I'M FIXING TO SEW IT TOGETHER.
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
YEAH, I'M SERIOUS.
A MAN'S GOTTA BE
ABLE TO DO A LOT OF
THINGS IN THE MILITARY.
ALL RIGHT, LOOK HERE.
I CAN SEW ANYTHING, YOU KNOW?
HEY, ZIPPERS, DRESSES, TENTS, CANVAS,
DEUCE AND HALF COVERS, CROCODILE TAIL.
BEAVER BELTS.
YOU KNOW, HEY.
YOU CUT A FELLA
OPEN, I'LL SEW HIM UP.
HEY, SI.
YUP.
YOU THINK YOU CAN
ACTUALLY MAKE AN APRON?
OH, YEAH, YEAH.
GO ARMY.
HEY, BE ALL YOU CAN BE.
I MEAN, ANYBODY CAN GO
ONE AT TIME WHEN THEY
SITTING ON THE SIDE OF
THE ROAD LIKE A GYPSY
OUT THERE.
YOU FIND YOUR
CUSTOMER, YOU SAY, "BANG."
I'M TALKING ABOUT
SELLING IN BULK.
MY PLAN IS TO TAKE MY FISH
STRAIGHT TO A RESTAURANT.
"CATFISH CABIN."
MAN.
TAKE A LOOK AT THAT, HUH?
THAT'S SOME
GOOD-LOOKING FISH, YES, SIR.
TELL YOU WHAT.
IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?
THAT'S IT.
OH, MAN.
I CAN'T DO ANYTHING WITH THAT.
MAN, I RUN THROUGH 1,000,
1,500 POUNDS OF FISH A WEEK.
WELL, THIS HAS WENT
TO CRAPVILLE REAL QUICK.
SO WE CAN'T DO A
DEAL RIGHT HERE?
NO, WE CAN'T DO A DEAL.
I NEED AT LEAST 100 POUNDS.
I THOUGHT THIS
GUY NEEDS CATFISH.
I MEAN, IT'S A
BUNCH OF BULL CRAP.
I MEAN, WE CAN
STILL SELL 'EM HERE.
HE JUST SAID HE NEEDED MORE.
JOHN LUKE, WE AIN'T GOT
NO MORE, THAT'S ALL WE GOT.
WELL, JASE AND REED
ONLY SOLD THREE.
LET'S TEAM UP.
USE THEIR FISH WITH OUR FISH?
THEY GOT THE POUNDS.
WE HAVE THE PLACE.
THAT'S BUSINESS.
HUH.
ANYTHING THAT
SAYS "HEAVY CRANE..."
NICE LITTLE FINISHING
TOUCHES HERE.
HOW DOES A MAN LIKE SI
ROBERTSON KNOW HOW TO SEW?
YOU'RE DONE?
YEAH.
CHECK IT OUT.
SEE IF IT WILL WORK.
OH, MY GOODNESS.
THAT IS ADORABLE.
OH, MY WORD.
All: SI.
DID Y'ALL THINK I WAS GONNA
MAKE SOME PIECE OF JUNK?
HEY, I'M A JACK OF ALL TRADES,
AND I'M A RENAISSANCE MAN.
THERE AIN'T NOTHING I CAN'T DO.
IT COVERS ALL THE WAY.
AND IT'S SO GIRLY.
OLD SI NEVER CEASES TO AMAZE ME.
I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS
THE SEAMSTRESS TYPE.
ALL THIS MAKES ME WANT TO DO
IS RATTLE THEM POTS AND PANS.
THAT'S THE SEXIEST APRON
I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE.
WHOO!
I LOVE THIS NEW APRON.
PHIL TNKS I LOOK SEXY IN IT.
I LIKE THAT.
WE'LL PUT THE OLD
APRON TO USE HERE.
I'M SICK OF THIS, DAD.
THIS IS TAKING FOREVER.
OH, YOU BE ALL RIGHT.
I'M PUTTING A LINE
THROUGH "FRESH."
WE DON'T WANT TO LIE.
IT'S A LITTLE DISAPPOINTING WITH REED
WATCHING THAT I'M NOT SELLING FISH.
WELL, HERE WE GO AGAIN.
ONE OF THE HARDEST THINGS TO DO FOR ME AND
ANY ROBERTSON FOR THAT MATTER, IS TO ADMIT
FAILURE.
I DON'T LIKE THAT WORD.
HOW'S THE FISH-SELLING BUSINESS?
NOT REAL GOOD.
DUDE, Y'ALL ARE
TERRIBLE AT SELLING FISH.
I GOT 200 POUNDS.
I GOT A WAY THAT YOU GUYS CAN
GET OFF THE SIDE OF THE ROAD.
WE MERGE.
YOU PUT YOUR BULK OF YOUR FISH, TRASH
AS IT MAY BE, WITH MY QUALITY, SUPERIOR
CATFISH.
WE GO SELL 'EM TO A CLIENT THAT I
HAVE WHO IS READY TO GO RIGHT NOW.
HE JUST WANTED TO COMPROMISE.
I FIGURED HE'D COME AROUND.
NO DEAL.
NO DEAL?
YOU DISGRACED ME.
YOU SAID I WASN'T A
BETTER FISHERMAN.
YOU SAID MY FISH WERE TRASHY.
NOW YOU WANT 'EM?
YOU CALL 'EM TRASHY
AND NOW YOU WANT 'EM?
I'M NOT DOING IT.
JOHN LUKE, LET'S GO.
ALL RIGHT.
NO, NOW LOOK.
EVEN THOUGH OUR EGOS ARE INVOLVED, AND
WE HAVE A COMPETITION, I WANTED TO TEACH
REED THAT SOMETIMES IN LIFE,
COMPROMISE IS NOT SO BAD.
'CAUSE I'M KIND OF SICK
OF BEING OUT HERE MYSELF.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
WELL, I GOT SOME CONDITIONS.
YOU GOT TO ADMIT IN FRONT OF
THESE TWO BOYS THAT
I'M THE BETTER FISHERMAN.
WHY DO WE NEED CONDITIONS?
I JUST GAVE YOU A GREAT DEAL.
GET YOU OFF THE
SIDE OF THE ROAD.
IT AIN'T ABOUT THAT.
THE WHOLE REASON I DID THIS IS BECAUSE
YOU SAID YOU WERE JUST AS GOOD A FISHERMAN.
THAT'S JUST HERESY.
FINE.
ALL RIGHT.
YOU'RE A BETTER FISHERMAN...
THANK YOU.
AT CATCHING TRASH FISH, SO... NOW TELL
THEM THAT I'M BETTER LOOKING THAN YOU.
I'M ALL UP FOR A COMPROMISE.
AS LONG AS EVERYBODY
UNDERSTANDS THAT I BASICALLY WON.
HEY, MEET ME AT CATFISH CABIN!
YEAH, I WILL.
HEY, IT WAS ALL WORTH IT.
SEE?
NOW LET'S GO MAKE SOME MONEY.
THEY SAY THAT IN GROWING
UP, YOU DON'T CHANGE
MUCH FROM WHO YOU
WERE WHEN YOU WERE A KID.
JASE HAS ALWAYS AND
WILL ALWAYS BE A PRODUCT
MAN, WHETHER IT'S CATCHING
FISH OR MAKING DUCK
CALLS.
MYSELF, I'VE ALWAYS BEEN
MORE OF A NATURAL SALESMAN.
FATHER, WE ARE THANKFUL THAT YOU
BLESSED US WITH THESE GOOD FISH.
WHETHER THERE'S A LITTLE FRICTION AMONG US
DOWN HERE ON EARTH, WE LOVE EACH OTHER NO
MATTER WHAT HAPPENS.
AMEN.
All: AMEN.
THE POINT IS WE EACH
HAVE ATTRIBUTES.
AND IN MY EXPERIENCE,
IF YOU PARTNER UP WITH
SOMEONE WHO HAS
DIFFERENT ATTRIBUTES THAT
COMPLIMENT YOURS, THERE'S
MORE OF A CHANCE FOR SUCCESS.
JUST REMEMBER, JASE.
WHEN IT COMES TO
BUSINESS, I'M THE BIG KAHUNA.
YEAH, YEAH.
WELL, AROUND HERE, THERE'S TWO BIG
KAHUNAS, AIN'T THAT RIGHT, MISS KAY?
BAITFISH OUT HERE.
NOW, WILLIE, YOU'RE A CEO.
WHEN'S THE LAST TIME
YOU WENT BAIT SANDING?
AH, IT'S BEEN A WHILE.
BEEN A WHILE?
HOW ABT EVER?
SANDING? SHOOT.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
WHEN WE WE'RE KIDS, DO
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID?
YOU SAT UP HERE AND ATE
POP-TARTS AT THE HOUSE...
OH, BULL CRAP.
WHILE WE WAS OUT THERE
CATCHING ALL THE FISH.
JASE IS A BIT DELUSIONAL WHEN IT
COMES TO CHILDHOOD MEMORIES.
ALL RIGHT, BRING 'EM UP HERE.
YEAH, GO AHEAD AND
HAVE YOU A SEAT THERE.
THAT BRINGS BACK
THE BIGGEST MEMORY.
HE THINKS HE CAUGHT ALL THE
FISH WE SOLD WHEN WE WERE KIDS.
I BELIEVE THAT WAS
ME CATCHING THE FISH.
HE WAS THE "HELPER."
YUP, YOU'RE EITHER SITTING ON
YOUR BUTT OR ON YOUR PHONE.
CHECKING THE WEATHER, SON.
WELL, I CAN TELL YOU
RIGHT NOW, IT'S FINE.
WILLIE LIKES TO SIT AND WALLOW.
THAT'S HOW HE GOT THE
NICKNAME, "BOSS HOG."
HE LIKES TO SIT AND
BOSS EVERYBODY AROUND.
MAYBE THAT'S WHY
WILLIE IS THE CEO.
BUT WHEN I SAY CEO, THAT STANDS
FOR CAVEMAN WITH AN EGO WHO'S OBESE.
WILLIE, DO YOU EVEN
KNOW HOW TO FISH?
SON, I CAN CATCH ANY
FISH IN THAT WATER.
LET'S HAVE A COMPETITION.
WHO CAN MAKE THE MOST MONEY?
CATCHIN' FISH?
CATCHIN' FISH.
THEY COMPETE IN EVERYTHING.
DON'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE
WHAT IT IS, WHETHER
IT BE HORSEBACK RIDING,
THROWING HORSESHOES,
PLAYING BASEBALL.
OH, THEY HAD A KNOCKDOWN DRAG-OUT ONE
TIME OVER MAKING A COUPLE PIECES OF TOAST.
THEY JUST GETTING MORE STUPID.
THIS IS AN OLD-FASHIONED
"CATCH AND SELL."
WE CATCH 'EM, WE SELL 'EM.
A'IGHT, HOW ABOUT I
TAKE PHIL, YOU TAKE SI?
OH, I'LL JUST TAKE SI JUST
FOR PURE ENTERTAINMENT.
ALL RIGHT, I'LL BRING JOHN
LUKE ALONG.
ALL RIGHT AND I'LL BRING REED.
THE STAKES ARE HIGHER NOW THAT OUR SONS
ARE INVOLVED, 'CAUSE NOBODY WANTS TO GET
WHUPPED IN FRONT OF THEIR SON.
A'IGHT!
THE BET'S ON!
IT'S TIME TO PUT WILLIE IN
HIS PLACE ONCE AND FOR ALL.
I SPENT MY WHOLE
LIFE ON THE WATER.
YOU SPENT YOUR
WHOLE LIFE ON THE BANK.
EATIN' HOT DOGS.
IT'S EMBARRASSING.
IT'S EMBARRASSING.
IT'S EMBARRASSING.
ARE YOU HAVING FUN YET, REED?
I'M HAVING FUN.
YOU GOING WITH THEM
OR YOU GOING WITH ME?
I'M GOING WITH THEM.
YOU GOING WITH THEM?
OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
I GOT JOHN LUKE.
WHERE'S JOHN LUKE?
WELL, HE'S WITH WILLIE.
I KNOW, HE AIN'T HERE.
HE AIN'T HERE.
YEAH.
AND HE DIDN'T EVEN SHOW UP.
HE KNOWS HE HAS NO
CHANCE TO BEAT ME IN FISHIN'.
WILLIE'S THROWING IN THE TOWEL.
WHAT IN THE WORLD?
OH, MY GOD.
CHECK OUT THAT RIG.
THIS IS WILLIE
FLEXING HIS MUSCLES.
AND A MAN OF HIS STATURE,
HE DON'T HAVE MANY.
SO WHEN HE FINDS ONE,
HE REALLY PUTS ON A SHOW.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
IS THERE A FISHING TOURNAMENT
GOING ON AROUND HERE?
NO, NOT REALLY.
'CAUSE YOU AIN'T GONNA CATCH
DIDDLY-SQUAT IN THAT THING.
WHEN I BUY A BOAT, IT'S GONNA
BE THE BEST MONEY CAN BUY.
IT'S MY BASS BOAT,
STATE OF THE ART.
I'M TALKING RADAR, SONAR, FISH-FINDER,
DEPTH-FINDER, GPS SATELLITE TV.
THIS THING'S GOT IT ALL.
THAT AIN'T GONNA
HELP YOU CATCH FISH.
LOOK LIKE HE DROVE
UP IN A SPACESHIP.
TAKE OFF IN THAT
THING, GO TO THE MOON.
WHAT ARE Y'ALL FISHING OUT OF?
WE FISHING OUT
OF A FISHING BOAT.
OL' FAITHFUL.
WE AIN'T SHOWBOATIN', SON.
WE FIXIN' TO GO CATCH SOME FISH.
WHY AIN'T Y'ALL
JUST BRING A CANOE?
THEIR BOAT LOOKS
LIKE A TRASH CAN.
IF THERE WERE HOMELESS PEOPLE ON
THE RIVER, THEY WOULD LIVE IN THIS BOAT.
GOOD LUCK, BOYS.
HEY, WE AIN'T GONNA NEED LUCK.
THIS IS THE OUACHITA RIVER.
I KNOW IT LIKE THE
BACK OF MY HAND.
YOU'RE GOING DOWN.
Y'ALL LOST BEFORE YOU
EVEN LEFT THE DOCK.
JACK!
KNOCK, KNOCK.
Both: HEY.
HEY.
WHAT Y'ALL GOT?
IT'S DVD-SIGNING TIME.
YOU KNOW, ALL OF THESE.
WHOO, COOKING DVDs.
YEAH.
I'M SURPRISED THAT THESE COOKING
DVDs ARE SELLING LIKE THEY ARE.
I'VE ALREADY SIGNED
ABOUT 50, I THOUGHT.
YOU GOTTA SIGN MORE.
THEY'RE THAT GOOD.
OH, THE STRESSES OF FAME.
KAY, YOU GOT FLOUR ALL
OVER YOUR PRETTY SHIRT.
WELL, LOOK AT THE PROBLEM.
HER BOOBS ARE HANGING
OUT ON EITHER SIDE.
KORIE.
THE GIRLS ARE JUST
NOW NOTICING THIS?
LOOK, LOOK.
YEAH.
IT'S EITHER ONE
BOOB OR THE OTHER.
YEAH.
I'VE HAD TO DEAL WITH FLOUR
ON MY BOOBS MY ENTIRE LIFE.
DO THEY MAKE APRONS FOR,
LIKE, BIG-BOOBED WOMEN?
WE CALL IT FULL-FIGURED, LADIES.
FULL-FIGURED.
MISS KAY DOESN'T LIKE IT
WHEN WE SAY "LARGE-BREASTED."
I THINK IT JUST THAT SHE'S
FROM THAT OLDER ERA,
BUT FROM OUR ERA WE LIKE
TO SAY "LARGE KAHUNAS."
WE NEED TO MAKE YOU
ONE THAT COMES TO HERE.
EVERYWHERE YOU GO, YOU SEE
SOMEBODY WITH LARGE BOOBS.
I THINK THEY'RE WOULD BE A HUGE
MARKET FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS.
MAKE HER AN APRON.
KORIE, YOU CAN MARKET IT.
AND SELL IT, LIKE IN OUR
COMMANDER KITCHEN LINE.
YES, WE SHOULD.
OKAY, BUT WHO CAN SEW?
DON'T LOOK AT ME.
WHAT?
SEW?
I THOUGHT AT EVERYBODY IN
YOUR GENERATION COULD SEW.
THAT'S A LIE.
WHEN I WAS IN THE EIGHTH
GRADE, WE HAD HOME EC.
HALF A OF YEAR COOKING,
HALF A OF YEAR SEWING.
STRAIGHT "A" s IN THE COOKING.
"D" s IN THE SEWING.
I HELD UP MY FINISHED DRESS,
AND IT FELL APART RIGHT BEFORE
THE TEACHER.
KAY CAN'T SEW.
THAT'S SURPRISING.
WELL, IT CAN'T BE THAT HARD.
I MADE CURTAINS BEFORE.
YEAH.
I CAN MAKE AN APRON.
WELL, YOU MAKE SURE
YOU GET ENOUGH MATERIAL.
THAT'S TRUE.
THAT'S RIGHT.
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
YEAH, WE'LL GO
PICK OUT THE FABRIC.
OKAY.
OKAY, WE'LL BE BACK.
ALL RIGHT, BYE.
MY OWN APRONS.
THAT'LL MAKE PHIL
HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY.
YOU COULD HAVE SPENT
$1 MILLION ON A BOAT.
THAT DON'T MEAN YOU
GONNA CATCH SQUAT.
WILLIE REMINDS ME OF A TOURIST, YOU KNOW,
IN THAT BOAT THAT HE BROUGHT DOWN THERE.
HE'S ON A SIGHTSEEING EXCURSION.
YOU KNOW, HE'S
NOT REALLY FISHING.
THE KEY TO FISHING IS
KNOWING WHERE THEY AT.
I KNOW WHEN BUFFALO SPAWN.
AND EVEN THOUGH YOU
DON'T GET A WHOLE LOT OF
MONEY FOR 'EM, IF YOU
CATCH ENOUGH OF ANYTHING,
YOU GOT MONEY.
THEY ADD UP.
RIGHT NOW, I CAN PICTURE WILLIE
BORED OUT OF HIS MIND ON HIS FANCY BOAT.
WHOO!
YES, IT WILL.
NOW LET'S GO CATCH THOSE FISH.
I GOT A FISH ALL IN MY
DEPTH-FINDER THERE.
THIS COMPETITION IS OVER
BEFORE IT EVEN STARTED.
I HAVE PHIL ON MY TEAM.
PHIL IS THE MASTER OF
ALL THINGS IN THE WATER.
JOHN LUKE, GET
YOUR NET READY, SON.
HE'S LIKE A FISH WHISPERER.
HE CAN JUST SUMMON FISH.
AND THEY COME UP TO THE SURFACE.
YOU GOT ANYTHING?
NO.
IT AIN'T WORKING OUT GOOD.
HUH.
SHOOT.
GOT ANYTHING?
NO.
HMM.
WHEN IT COMES TO FISHING, WILL'S
JUST THERE FOR MORAL SUPPORT.
DOES IT FEEL HEAVY?
NOT YET.
BAIT GONE?
HAD A COUPLE BAITS ON IT.
YOU DON'T NECESSARILY HAVE TO
DO ALL THE WORK TO CATCH FISH.
FEEL ANY PULLING?
I DON'T FEEL NOTHING YET.
AS LONG AS YOU GOT A
GOOD TEAM ASSEMBLED,
YOU CAN SIT BACK AND
MANAGE THE WHOLE THING.
THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING.
JOHN LUKE, GET YOUR NET READY.
SEE THAT?
MM-HMM.
PUT THAT UP UNDER
HIM, RIGHT THERE.
I SEE... WHOA.
THAT'S HIM.
MONEY.
OPELOUSAS!
IT WENT FROM GAME-ON TO GAME
OVER IN A MATTER OF MINUTES.
NOW THAT'S WHAT
I'M TALKING ABOUT.
CATFISH, THE PRIDE OF THE RIVER.
I'M TALKING THE EXPENSIVE FISH.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
HOW MUCH?
JASE DOESN'T STAND A CHANCE.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S
CATCHING, BUT WE CATCHING MONEY.
WE GOT SOME FISH.
CHA-CHING.
CHA-CHING.
CHA-CHING, CHA-CHING!
I CAN'T GO 10 FEET
WITHOUT CATCHING ONE.
LOOK, THEY JUST KEEP COMING!
LOOK AT THAT.
MY METHOD IS FAR
SUPERIOR TO WILLIE'S...
BECAUSE WILLIE HAS NO METHOD.
THAT'S THE BIGGEST ONE
OF THE DAY RIGHT THERE.
WHOO, THAT'S A
10-POUNDER RIGHT THERE.
PRETTY AMAZING.
ALL RIGHT.
GET ON IN THERE.
WHOO!
I SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT TWO TUBS.
I'M ALL ABOUT TEACHING MY SON.
YOU GOT A GOAL
OR A TARGET IN LIFE...
REED, IN THIS WORLD
TODAY, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.
YOU GO FOR IT.
IF YOU GOT ENOUGH MONEY, YOU
CAN GO FROM A MAN TO A WOMAN.
YOU CAN LOOK LIKE A MODEL.
OH, YEAH.
YEAH, THAT'S TRUE.
MM-HMM, YUP.
HEY, I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S
A GOOD TNG OR A BAD THING.
HOW MANY Y'ALL GOT?
WE GOT MORE THAN YOU.
OH, WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT?
HOW YOU KNOW YOU
GOT MORE THAN ME?
WE GOT MORE THAN
THE TUB'LL HOLD.
WHOA.
HA.
CHA-CHING.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
YOU CAN CATCH ALL THE
FISH IN THE WORLD, BUT
IF YOU CAN'T SELL 'EM,
YOU GOT A BUNCH OF
FISH.
HEY, IT AIN'T ABOUT
CATCHIN' THE MOST.
IT'S ABOUT WHO MAKES
THE MOST MONEY.
HEY, WE CAUGHT MORE THAN Y'ALL DID,
AND WE GONNA MAKE MORE MONEY THAN Y'ALL.
JASE CAN'T SELL CRAP.
NEVER HAS BEEN ABLE
TO DO IT, NEVER WILL.
THIS AIN'T OVER, SON.
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
WATCH OUT, REED!
UH-OH.
MAN DOWN.
MAN DOWN.
YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!
YEEHAW!
YEAH, YOU'LL BE ALL RIGHT.
SUCK IT UP.
HE'S ACTING LIKE HE'S FOUR.
HEY.
FOUND SOME MORE FABRIC.
AND I GOT A YARDSTICK.
WE ARE ALL SET UP.
WE GOT OUR SEWING MACHINES.
WE'VE GOT OUR FABRIC AND THREAD.
I THINK THIS IS GONNA BE FUN.
THERE'LL BE NO FLOUR ON THE
BOOBIES WITH THIS APRON, KAY.
I GOT TO SEE HOW BIG
THESE THINGS REALLY ARE.
KAY'S BOOBS... I CAN'T EVEN WRAP
MY ARMS AROUND THESE SUCKERS.
I DON'T KNOW IF WE CAN
CONTAIN THESE SUCKERS.
YEAH.
THEY'RE OUT OF CONTROL.
WAIT, DO YOU THINK THE
BOBBIN IS DONE RIGHT, THEN?
THE BOBBIN, I THINK, IS FINE.
WAIT, DID THIS... OH, GOD.
MY HAIR'S STUCK.
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
OH, MY GOODNESS.
OH.
OKAY, GREAT.
FREE.
WHO CAME UP WITH
SEWING MACHINES?
IT'S SO COMPLICATED.
I MEAN, YOU GOT TO HAVE AN ENGINEERING
DEGREE JUST TO THREAD THE NEEDLE.
WE'RE SMART.
WE'RE SMART WOMEN.
YEAH.
WE CAN DO THIS.
UH-OH, I GOT A PROBLEM.
WHAT?
I DIDN'T FOLD THAT OVER ENOUGH.
YEAH, THAT'S NOT REALLY
WHAT YOU CALL A STRAIGHT LINE.
THESE GIRLS' SEWING SKILLS ARE
LOOKING AS BAD AS THEIR COOKING SKILLS.
I REALLY THOUGHT
THIS WOULD BE EASIER.
Y'ALL ARE JUST
MAKING ME NERVOUS.
YOU'RE SELLING, SON.
IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHO YOUR CUSTOMER
IS, YOU AIN'T GONNA SELL NOTHING.
ONE THING I LOVE DOING IS TEACHING MY
CHILDREN WHAT I DO AND ABOUT BUSINESS.
I'VE BEEN SELLING FISH EVER
SINCE I WAS YOUNGER THAN YOU.
THAT'S WHY WE'LL BEAT JASE.
HE DOESN'T HAVE A
CLUE WHAT HE'S DOING.
COME BUY SOME FISH!
REED, DON'T DO THAT
WITH THE KNIFE, MAN.
YOU'RE SCARIN' THEM.
I KNOW SALES IS MY WEAKNESS.
NOW WE SIT, AND WE WAIT.
BUT I FEEL PRETTY
GOOD ABOUT MY PLAN.
I MEAN, THERE'S A CAR THAT'S
COMING BY HERE EVERY FIVE SECONDS.
OH, NO.
LOOK AT THIS.
"FRESH FISH, SELL QUICK."
WHO IS GONNA STOP BY IN THE
BLAZING SUN WHILE IT'S BURNING
HOT AND BUY A BUNCH OF STINKY,
TRASH FISH ON THE BACK OF A TRUCK?
WHAT KIND OF BOOTLEG
OPERATION YOU GOT GOING ON HERE?
WE THOUGHT WE'D CLEAN A COUPLE.
YEAH, THEY KEEP BLOWING
THEIR HORN, BUT THEY WON'T STOP.
WONDER WHY.
QUITE THE PRESENTATION.
BLOOD AND GUTS AND
SCALES EVERYWHERE.
OH, YEAH, THAT'S WHAT
PEOPLE ARE LOOKING FOR.
HOT, STINKY FISH.
JOHN LUKE, HERE'S HOW
YOU DON'T SELL FISH.
YOU WANT TO GIVE UP
NOW OR... I'M NOT GIVING UP.
I'M GONNA STAY HERE TILL SLAP
DARK TILL I SELL ALL THESE FISH.
MAY THE BEST SALESMAN WIN.
THE ONLY THING WILLIE CAN DO
THAT I CAN'T IS MAKE HIS BELLY ROLL.
IT'S LIKE A HUGE WAVE.
IT'S PRETTY COOL.
CLEAN THIS MESS UP.
IT'S AN EMBARRASSMENT
TO OUR FAMILY.
HEY!
WHAT?
JOHN LUKE, LET'S GET OUT HERE!
WATCH OUT FOR RETALIATION.
THROW THAT ON THIS TRUCK.
HEY!
HERE, THROW THEM GUTS.
AH.
OH, YEAH!
OH, YEAH!
DAD GUM, STUPID IDIOT.
GOOD LUCK!
DON'T GROW UP TO BE LIKE WILLIE.
IT'S JUST SAD.
WILLIE DON'T KNOW
WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT.
WE'RE GONNA SELL 'EM.
IT'S GOTTEN A BIT SLOW.
BUT THAT'S ALL PART
OF COMPETITION.
READ MY LIPS.
WELL, YOU CAN'T READ MY LIPS BECAUSE
I HAVE THE BEARD AND THE MUSTACHE.
BUT IF YOU COULD READ MY
LIPS, I WOULD SAY, "I GOT THIS."
HERE WE GO.
IT'S JUST LIKE FISHING.
ALL RIGHT, WE GOT
A NIBBLE RIGHT HERE.
WHAT DO YOU SAY, MOUNTAIN MAN?
HEY, JASE.
WHO'S FISH-HUNGRY?
MM-HMM.
I THOUGHT I SMELLED
SOMETHING... OH, YEAH.
DOWN THERE.
ALL RIGHTY.
MM.
HOW MANY YOU WANT?
I DON'T KNOW, I
AIN'T GOT... SEVEN?
UNDERSTANDING MOUNTAIN MAN IS KIND OF
LIKE HAN SOLO UNDERSTANDING CHEWBACCA.
YOU CAN TAKE ONE FOR
EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK.
YUP.
WELL...
THEY'RE HEAVENLY.
WELL...
EH.
WELL, YOU WANT FIVE?
HEY.
HMM.
HOW MANY YOU WANT?
WHAT I'M TRYING TO SHOW REED
IS THAT HARD WORK PAYS OFF.
I'M ALL ABOUT TEACHING
MY SONS WORK ETHIC.
SELL THEM FOR $5 APIECE, BUT
I'LL SELL YOU THREE OF 'EM FOR $15.
MM-HMM.
UH...
YEAH, I MIGHT GET THREE OF 'EM.
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
MM-HMM.
I MAY NOT BE A
BUSINESSMAN, BUT HEY.
FIRST SALE, I'M FEELING
LIKE A BUSINESSMAN.
SEE WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT?
I CAN DO THIS.
WILLIE'S IN TROUBLE.
NOW WE ROLLING.
WHO ARE YOU TEXTING?
REED.
REED?
SEEING HOW MANY FISH THEY SOLD.
HA!
DON'T BE CONSULTING
WITH THE ENEMY.
HOW MANY HAVE THEY SOLD?
THREE MORE THAN US.
THREE?
I'M STARTING TO GET
A LITTLE WORRIED, BUT
I'M GONNA SHOW MY SON
HOW A REAL BUSINESSMAN
OPERATES.
SELLING'S ALL ABOUT BEING
CONFIDENT, JOHN LUKE.
THEY JUST GOT ANOTHER ONE.
REALLY?
MM-HMM.
CRAP.
HERE WE GO.
WHAT... HERE WE GO.
WAIT.
UH-OH, I THINK YOUR
TIE'S A LITTLE BIT HIGH.
WE HAVE BEEN AT THIS FOR HOURS.
THERE'S A HOLE
STRAIGHT THROUGH IT.
IT'S JUST EMBARRASSING.
I CAN'T BELIEVE WE
CAN'T FIGURE THIS OUT.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF WE
CAN SELL IT FOR FIVE BUCKS.
UH-OH, WE MADE A MESS.
SEWING PARTY.
WE THOUGHT ABOUT MAKING
APRONS FOR FULL-FIGURED WOMEN.
IT'S JUST NOT WORKING.
ALL AFTERNOON, WE'VE TRIED.
YOU KNOW, THESE GIRLS, YOU KNOW,
THEY'RE LIKE FISH OUT OF WATER.
THEY'RE JUST FLOPPING AROUND.
THEY AIN'T GOING NOWHERE, AND
THEY AIN'T GONNA ACCOMPLISH NOTHING.
SHOOT.
OLD SI, YOU KNOW, HE'LL
TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS.
HERE, GO AHEAD AND GET UP.
WHAT?
WHAT?
YOU KNOW HOW TO SEW?
YEAH, I KNOW HOW TO SEW.
YOU CAN'T SEW.
NO, NO, DON'T RUIN THAT.
DON'T RUIN THAT.
YEAH, NO.
THAT'S THE GOOD FABRIC.
WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT?
I'M NOT GONNA RUIN IT.
I'M FIXING TO SEW IT TOGETHER.
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
YEAH, I'M SERIOUS.
A MAN'S GOTTA BE
ABLE TO DO A LOT OF
THINGS IN THE MILITARY.
ALL RIGHT, LOOK HERE.
I CAN SEW ANYTHING, YOU KNOW?
HEY, ZIPPERS, DRESSES, TENTS, CANVAS,
DEUCE AND HALF COVERS, CROCODILE TAIL.
BEAVER BELTS.
YOU KNOW, HEY.
YOU CUT A FELLA
OPEN, I'LL SEW HIM UP.
HEY, SI.
YUP.
YOU THINK YOU CAN
ACTUALLY MAKE AN APRON?
OH, YEAH, YEAH.
GO ARMY.
HEY, BE ALL YOU CAN BE.
I MEAN, ANYBODY CAN GO
ONE AT TIME WHEN THEY
SITTING ON THE SIDE OF
THE ROAD LIKE A GYPSY
OUT THERE.
YOU FIND YOUR
CUSTOMER, YOU SAY, "BANG."
I'M TALKING ABOUT
SELLING IN BULK.
MY PLAN IS TO TAKE MY FISH
STRAIGHT TO A RESTAURANT.
"CATFISH CABIN."
MAN.
TAKE A LOOK AT THAT, HUH?
THAT'S SOME
GOOD-LOOKING FISH, YES, SIR.
TELL YOU WHAT.
IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?
THAT'S IT.
OH, MAN.
I CAN'T DO ANYTHING WITH THAT.
MAN, I RUN THROUGH 1,000,
1,500 POUNDS OF FISH A WEEK.
WELL, THIS HAS WENT
TO CRAPVILLE REAL QUICK.
SO WE CAN'T DO A
DEAL RIGHT HERE?
NO, WE CAN'T DO A DEAL.
I NEED AT LEAST 100 POUNDS.
I THOUGHT THIS
GUY NEEDS CATFISH.
I MEAN, IT'S A
BUNCH OF BULL CRAP.
I MEAN, WE CAN
STILL SELL 'EM HERE.
HE JUST SAID HE NEEDED MORE.
JOHN LUKE, WE AIN'T GOT
NO MORE, THAT'S ALL WE GOT.
WELL, JASE AND REED
ONLY SOLD THREE.
LET'S TEAM UP.
USE THEIR FISH WITH OUR FISH?
THEY GOT THE POUNDS.
WE HAVE THE PLACE.
THAT'S BUSINESS.
HUH.
ANYTHING THAT
SAYS "HEAVY CRANE..."
NICE LITTLE FINISHING
TOUCHES HERE.
HOW DOES A MAN LIKE SI
ROBERTSON KNOW HOW TO SEW?
YOU'RE DONE?
YEAH.
CHECK IT OUT.
SEE IF IT WILL WORK.
OH, MY GOODNESS.
THAT IS ADORABLE.
OH, MY WORD.
All: SI.
DID Y'ALL THINK I WAS GONNA
MAKE SOME PIECE OF JUNK?
HEY, I'M A JACK OF ALL TRADES,
AND I'M A RENAISSANCE MAN.
THERE AIN'T NOTHING I CAN'T DO.
IT COVERS ALL THE WAY.
AND IT'S SO GIRLY.
OLD SI NEVER CEASES TO AMAZE ME.
I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS
THE SEAMSTRESS TYPE.
ALL THIS MAKES ME WANT TO DO
IS RATTLE THEM POTS AND PANS.
THAT'S THE SEXIEST APRON
I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE.
WHOO!
I LOVE THIS NEW APRON.
PHIL TNKS I LOOK SEXY IN IT.
I LIKE THAT.
WE'LL PUT THE OLD
APRON TO USE HERE.
I'M SICK OF THIS, DAD.
THIS IS TAKING FOREVER.
OH, YOU BE ALL RIGHT.
I'M PUTTING A LINE
THROUGH "FRESH."
WE DON'T WANT TO LIE.
IT'S A LITTLE DISAPPOINTING WITH REED
WATCHING THAT I'M NOT SELLING FISH.
WELL, HERE WE GO AGAIN.
ONE OF THE HARDEST THINGS TO DO FOR ME AND
ANY ROBERTSON FOR THAT MATTER, IS TO ADMIT
FAILURE.
I DON'T LIKE THAT WORD.
HOW'S THE FISH-SELLING BUSINESS?
NOT REAL GOOD.
DUDE, Y'ALL ARE
TERRIBLE AT SELLING FISH.
I GOT 200 POUNDS.
I GOT A WAY THAT YOU GUYS CAN
GET OFF THE SIDE OF THE ROAD.
WE MERGE.
YOU PUT YOUR BULK OF YOUR FISH, TRASH
AS IT MAY BE, WITH MY QUALITY, SUPERIOR
CATFISH.
WE GO SELL 'EM TO A CLIENT THAT I
HAVE WHO IS READY TO GO RIGHT NOW.
HE JUST WANTED TO COMPROMISE.
I FIGURED HE'D COME AROUND.
NO DEAL.
NO DEAL?
YOU DISGRACED ME.
YOU SAID I WASN'T A
BETTER FISHERMAN.
YOU SAID MY FISH WERE TRASHY.
NOW YOU WANT 'EM?
YOU CALL 'EM TRASHY
AND NOW YOU WANT 'EM?
I'M NOT DOING IT.
JOHN LUKE, LET'S GO.
ALL RIGHT.
NO, NOW LOOK.
EVEN THOUGH OUR EGOS ARE INVOLVED, AND
WE HAVE A COMPETITION, I WANTED TO TEACH
REED THAT SOMETIMES IN LIFE,
COMPROMISE IS NOT SO BAD.
'CAUSE I'M KIND OF SICK
OF BEING OUT HERE MYSELF.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
WELL, I GOT SOME CONDITIONS.
YOU GOT TO ADMIT IN FRONT OF
THESE TWO BOYS THAT
I'M THE BETTER FISHERMAN.
WHY DO WE NEED CONDITIONS?
I JUST GAVE YOU A GREAT DEAL.
GET YOU OFF THE
SIDE OF THE ROAD.
IT AIN'T ABOUT THAT.
THE WHOLE REASON I DID THIS IS BECAUSE
YOU SAID YOU WERE JUST AS GOOD A FISHERMAN.
THAT'S JUST HERESY.
FINE.
ALL RIGHT.
YOU'RE A BETTER FISHERMAN...
THANK YOU.
AT CATCHING TRASH FISH, SO... NOW TELL
THEM THAT I'M BETTER LOOKING THAN YOU.
I'M ALL UP FOR A COMPROMISE.
AS LONG AS EVERYBODY
UNDERSTANDS THAT I BASICALLY WON.
HEY, MEET ME AT CATFISH CABIN!
YEAH, I WILL.
HEY, IT WAS ALL WORTH IT.
SEE?
NOW LET'S GO MAKE SOME MONEY.
THEY SAY THAT IN GROWING
UP, YOU DON'T CHANGE
MUCH FROM WHO YOU
WERE WHEN YOU WERE A KID.
JASE HAS ALWAYS AND
WILL ALWAYS BE A PRODUCT
MAN, WHETHER IT'S CATCHING
FISH OR MAKING DUCK
CALLS.
MYSELF, I'VE ALWAYS BEEN
MORE OF A NATURAL SALESMAN.
FATHER, WE ARE THANKFUL THAT YOU
BLESSED US WITH THESE GOOD FISH.
WHETHER THERE'S A LITTLE FRICTION AMONG US
DOWN HERE ON EARTH, WE LOVE EACH OTHER NO
MATTER WHAT HAPPENS.
AMEN.
All: AMEN.
THE POINT IS WE EACH
HAVE ATTRIBUTES.
AND IN MY EXPERIENCE,
IF YOU PARTNER UP WITH
SOMEONE WHO HAS
DIFFERENT ATTRIBUTES THAT
COMPLIMENT YOURS, THERE'S
MORE OF A CHANCE FOR SUCCESS.
JUST REMEMBER, JASE.
WHEN IT COMES TO
BUSINESS, I'M THE BIG KAHUNA.
YEAH, YEAH.
WELL, AROUND HERE, THERE'S TWO BIG
KAHUNAS, AIN'T THAT RIGHT, MISS KAY?