Duck Dynasty (2012–2017): Season 1, Episode 10 - Plan Bee - full transcript
RIGHT HERE, HERE'S TWO.
KILL THEM RIGHT THERE.
NOT BAD, BOYS.
SEE HIM WHERE HE FELL?
YEAH, HE FELL RIGHT OVER
BY THAT PIECE OF STYROFOAM.
I GUESS THAT'S WHAT THAT IS.
THAT IS SOME KIND
OF INSIDE-OUT BEEHIVE.
THAT'S PRETTY AMAZING.
OH, YEAH, YEAH.
LOOK AT THE BOTTOM OF IT.
UH-OH.
YEAH.
OH, MAN, ARE THEY ON THERE.
I'D LIKE TO GET THE HONEY.
YOU CAN'T BUY THAT IN THE STORE.
THAT'S THE BEST
HONEY YOU'LL EVER EAT.
EVERY FOOD IS BETTER WHEN
YOU GET IT, YOU PROCESS IT,
AND YOU EAT IT.
JUST TAKE THE WHOLE HIVE.
THE IDEAL MEAL WOULD BE A
FLAMING HOT DOUGHNUT WITH WILD
HONEY ALL OVER IT.
OH, IT'S GOOD.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
WILD HONEY.
THIS IS JUST RIGHT THERE,
RIPE FOR THE TAKING.
ON ONE HAND, YOU'RE GONNA GET STUNG
BY POTENTIALLY THOUSANDS OF BEES.
ON THE OTHER HAND, YOU'VE
GOT DELICIOUS WILD HONEY.
I'M GOING WITH THE HONEY.
YEAH, YEAH.
THAT'S THE HONEY, YEAH. YEP.
FRESH HONEY CAN BE COMPARED
TO A $5,000 BOTTLE OF WINE.
A FEW SETS OF CAMOUFLAGE
PANTS, FRESH, FRESH ROADKILL, $12
MILLION, GOOD CANNED
TOMATOES FROM THE GARDEN.
WE GONNA GET THE HONEY.
MEET THE ROBERTSON CLAN.
THEY TURN DUCK CALLS...
INTO A MULTIMILLION-DOLLAR
EMPIRE.
BUT RUNNING A FAMILY BUSINESS IS
TOUGH WHEN THE FAMILY JUST WANTS
TO RUN WILD.
WHOO!
♪ SILK SUIT ♪
♪ BLACK TIE ♪
♪ BLACK TIE ♪
♪ I DON'T NEED A REASON WHY ♪
♪ THEY COME RUNNING ♪
♪ JUST AS FAST AS THEY CAN ♪
♪ 'CAUSE EVERY GIRL CRAZY ♪
♪ ABOUT A SHARP-DRESSED MAN ♪
♪ ♪HEY, THESE THINGS LOOK GOOD.
OH, I'M TELLING YOU, WE
OUGHT TO GET IN THE BOOTH
BUILDING BUSINESS.
WE COULD SELL THESE THINGS.
THAT AIN'T A BAD IDEA ACTUALLY.
WHAT ARE THESE
STUPID THINGS FOR?
THERE'S A HARVEST FESTIVAL
AT THE CHURCH, STUPID.
WHERE HAS SI BEEN THE LAST DAY?
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT
THIS WAS ABOUT.
OUR CHURCH PUTS ON A
HARVEST FESTIVAL EVERY YEAR.
THERE'S FOOD, CARNIVAL GAMES,
PIE-EATING CONTEST, AND DUCK
COMMANDER ALWAYS PITCHES IN.
IT'S A WHOLE LOT OF FUN.
THESE THINGS ARE LOOKING GOOD.
THANK YOU.
WHO BOUGHT THESE
POPCORN-FLAVORED JELLY BEANS?
THAT'S AN ASSORTMENT, SO...
WHY DID I ONLY TASTE POPCORN?
THESE THINGS ARE HORRIBLE.
WHY DO YOU KEEP EATING THEM?
YOU BEEN EATING
THEM FOR 48 HOURS.
I CAN'T OFF OF THEM!
YOU KNOW WHAT I
CAN'T GET OFF OF?
THAT HONEY THAT'S
JUST HANGING THERE.
THAT SOUNDS LIKE A SETUP TO ME.
A HONEYCOMB OUT IN THE OPEN?
YEAH, I FEEL LIKE
I'M TRAPPED, BOYS.
I'M TELLING YOU.
WHAT I'VE LEARNED ABOUT
GETTING HONEY IS HEY, YOU LET
SOMEBODY ELSE GET IT.
ONE TIME, I GOT STUNG
BY 27 "BOMBLE" BEES.
Both: BOMBLE BEES?
BOMBLE BEES.
THEY START MAKING
ALL KIND OF RACKET.
JUST A BIG BLACK BALL
COMING BEHIND YOU, FLYING.
YOU KNOW, I COULD SEE
THEM STARTING TO FLUTTER.
I CRAWLED UNDER THE FENCE,
AND WHEN I DID, IT RIPPED MY
BRITCHES.
AND GUESS WHAT WAS HANGING OUT.
WHITE UNDERWEAR.
OKAY, AND THEY WAS LIKE THEM
BOMBERS IN WAR MOVIES.
THERE'S THE TARGET, BOYS.
EXPLOSIONS EVERYWHERE.
THEY LIT MY REAR END.
HUP, JACK!
AND THEN THE BOMBERS GO...
NOW YOU DONE SPILLED
THE DARN JELLY BEANS.
LET ME FIND A BROOM.
HOW WE GONNA GET
THEM BEES OFF THAT HIVE?
WHAT I'M SAYING IS
IF YOU CUT ONE LIMB...
SI.
WHAT?
JASE, YOU THINKING
WHAT I'M THINKING?
WHAT ARE YOU TWO
IDIOTS TALKING ABOUT?
I'M TALKING ABOUT USING
THAT TO GET THE BEES.
IT'S PRETTY CLEVER, AND THE BEES
WON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HIT THEM.
SEE IF THAT'LL FIT ON THE END.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
IT'S A NO-BRAINER.
OH, IT'S ON.
ABRACADABRA!
HONEY!
LET ME TRY.
GOT HIM!
BOY, YOU'RE GOOD.
THESE BEES DON'T STAND A CHANCE.
I'M A MEAN, LEAN,
BEE-SUCKING MACHINE.
WELL, MAYBE NOT SO LEAN.
HEY, GET THE GENERATOR.
GODWIN AND MARTIN,
Y'ALL STAY HERE.
WE'LL BRING BACK SOME HONEY.
WE'RE GONNA DO JUST LIKE
WE DID WHEN I WAS IN VIETNAM.
WE GONNA GO IN FAST, QUIET,
KILL EVERYTHING IN SIGHT.
SI, WE'RE NOT GOING TO KILL.
WE'RE GOING TO GET THE HONEY.
SURE WILL.
I... IT'S WAR.
THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS, AND
WE'RE GONNA KILL EVERY ONE OF
YOU.
THIS IS A 'NAM OPERATION, BOYS.
MOVE OUT.
I DON'T MIND BEING LEFT BEHIND
ON THIS LITTLE EXCURSION.
NOPE.
HEY.
HEY, BOSS LADY.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
JUST WORK.
WE'RE TRYING TO GET READY
FOR THE, UM, CHURCH FESTIVAL.
SO WE NEED SOME DECOYS.
JESSICA AND I ARE RUNNING THE
GAMES THIS YEAR, SO WE HAVE THIS
CARNIVAL GAME WHERE YOU,
LIKE, KNOCK THINGS DOWN.
NORMALLY IT'S, LIKE, BOWLING
PINS, BUT SINCE WE'RE A DUCK
COMMANDER, WE'RE
GONNA USE DUCK DECOYS.
ALL THE ONES WE GOT
UP HERE ARE ON THE ROOF.
WHAT ARE THEY DOING ON THE ROOF?
WELL, WE GOT IN AN ARGUMENT
ON HOW OFTEN THEY UPDATED
SATELLITE IMAGING.
WHERE'S THE SCISSOR LIFT?
IT'S OUT THERE IN THE WAREHOUSE.
YOU CAN DRIVE... CAN YOU DO IT?
JESSICA?
YEAH, I CAN DO IT.
THERE YOU GO.
I'LL SHOW YOU.
LET'S DO IT.
THAT'S GONNA BE
FUNNY RIGHT THERE.
YEAH.
OH, MY GOODNESS.
THERE IT IS!
I'M NOT SURE THIS
IS A GOOD IDEA.
YOU READY?
OKAY, I'M TRUSTING YOU.
OH!
IT'S OKAY.
LOOK, I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.
JESSICA, WATCH OUT!
OH!
WE GOT IT.
HAVE A LITTLE FAITH.
LOWER, LOWER, LOWER, LOWER!
WHICH ONE OF THEM PIZZAS
YOU LIKE BETTER, NEW YORK OR
CHICAGO?
OH, THERE'S NO DOUBT.
NEW YORK'S THE WAY TO GO.
THIN CRUST.
JESSICA, THIS IS CRAZY.
WHERE ARE THEY?
I KNOW, LOOK.
WE GOTTA WALK ALL
THE WAY OVER THERE.
IS THAT GOING TO HOLD US?
LET'S JUST SEE HOW
FAR WE CAN GO UP.
NO, WAIT, WE GOTTA STEP OFF!
JESSICA!
HEY, JESSICA.
THE DECOYS ARE UP THERE.
YEAH, THANKS FOR TELLING ME NOW.
THANKS, MARTIN, THANKS.
ALL RIGHT, TAKE US DOWN.
TAKE US DOWN.
I'M TRYING.
IT'S NOT WORKING.
NO.
BATTERY'S DEAD.
YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING.
OH, BOY.
HOW MANY'S ON THERE?
A WHOLE BUNCH.
I COULDN'T GET THAT BEEHIVE
WE FOUND OFF MY MIND, SO I
COME UP WITH A PLAN TO GET A
SHOP-VAC, GET WAY AWAY FROM IT,
AND SUCK ALL THE
BEES UP IN THERE.
GENIUS.
PLUG IT IN.
THAT'S ABOUT THE STUPIDEST
THING I EVER HEARD OF, Y'ALL.
ONE TO TEN, HEY, IT'S
A BIG, FAT GOOSE EGG.
YOU GONNA FIRE IT UP?
CRANK IT UP.
♪ HONEY, HONEY ♪
♪ HONEY ♪
LOOK, YOU GET HONEY IN YOUR
BEARD, IT LITERALLY STAYS THERE
FOR TWO WEEKS.
I MEAN, EVEN WHEN MY WIFE
KISSES ME, SHE'S LIKE, "OH, THAT IS
GOOD."
SHE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY.
SHE JUST THINKS I'M
SWEETER THAN MOST MALES.
ALL RIGHT, BOYS, NO
SUDDEN MOVEMENTS.
IS IT WORKING?
NO, NOT REALLY.
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT
ALL THIS CRAP, BOYS.
THEY'RE GETTING MAD.
WHOA!
I NEED MORE SLACK.
LOOK OUT!
OW!
I'M HIT!
AAH!
YOU ALMOST STARTED
TO... MAN, I'M STUNG!
GRAB HOLD OF HER!
I'M GOING... I'M LEAVING!
BEES ARE SWARMING EVERYWHERE.
I'M FALLING DOWN, BREAKING MY
NECK, GETTING STUNG A THOUSAND
TIMES.
GO, SI, GO!
I LOOK UP TO GET ON THE RIDE...
LEAVE HIM, LEAVE HIM!
THEY GONE.
HEY!
THERE ARE CASUALTIES
IN WAR, BOYS.
UNFORTUNATELY, THAT'S
JUST THE NATURE OF THE BEAST.
OW!
CLIMB DOWN ON THAT ROOF.
BE SERIOUS.
I HAVE NO FAITH IN
GODWIN AND MARTIN.
WELL, GO THROUGH THE TREE.
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO FIND
SOMETHING TO GET US DOWN.
KORIE AND I ARE GONNA
BE STUCK UP HERE ALL DAY.
WE GOT THAT LADDER BACK THERE.
WE MIGHT AS WELL GET IT AND GET
THEM DOWN BEFORE THEY PANIC, YOU
KNOW?
HELP US OUT.
ALL RIGHT, LET ME GET
THIS OUT OF THE WAY.
IT'S A SKUNK!
I THINK IT GOT ME!
OH, MAN.
I THINK THAT'S A DIRECT HIT.
OH, THAT'S TERRIBLE.
I CAN'T BREATHE.
GODWIN SMELLS WORSE THAN
THE SOUTH END OF A NORTHBOUND
DONKEY.
TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF.
OH, MAN!
ALL RIGHT, I GOT YOU.
GET THIS SHIRT OFF ME!
THAT IS REALLY BAD.
A SKUNK SMELL IS MORE
LIKE A BAD CASE OF B.O.
OH, WOW.
OH, OH, WOW!
KINDA LIKE THE ROBERTSON MEN
B.O. AFTER DUCK HUNTING ALL DAY.
MY EYES ARE BURNING.
YOUR EYES?
OH, MAN, I... YOU GOT MY LADDER?
I THINK IT'S ON MY SKIN.
UH-OH, HERE WE GO.
HEY, THAT'S ROOF'S HOT.
MARTIN, WHAT IS YOUR PLAN?
I'M GONNA COME OUT
THERE AND GET Y'ALL.
I'M GONNA HELP Y'ALL DOWN.
YOU GOTTA HURRY UP.
GODWIN, THE SKUNK! GO!
OH, MY GOODNESS!
THE SKUNK!
DON'T LEAVE US!
NOW HOW AM I GONNA GET DOWN?
WELL... THAT WAS
A TOTAL DISASTER.
I'LL ADMIT THE SHOP-VAC IDEA
WAS NOT THAT SUCCESSFUL.
I NEED SOME KIND OF LOTION,
AND I NEED A PAIR OF TWEEZERS.
BUT WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO OBTAIN
SOMETHING AS GOOD AS WILD HONEY,
YOU DO NOT CONSIDER THE DANGERS.
THAT'S FOR WHAT WE
CALL HIGH-TOPPERS.
YAHOOS.
CITY FOLK.
WELL, THERE'S TWO TYPE
OF PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD.
EDUCATED AND "UNDUCATED."
UNDUCATED?
LOOK HERE, LOOK HERE.
ONE OF THEM HAS GOT
A LEGITIMATE EXCUSE.
YEAH.
YOU, ON THE OTHER HAND,
YOU'RE EDUCATED, OKAY, AND
YOU'RE STILL AN IDIOT!
PLAIN STUPID.
NO DOUBT ABOUT IT.
AND THAT'S WHAT I'M
TALKING ABOUT, MM-HMM.
Y'ALL, THAT WAS THE
DUMBEST IDEA I'VE EVER HEARD!
OKAY, AND I'VE GOT
A LEGITIMATE EXCUSE.
WELL, WHAT'S MY EXCUSE?
HEY, YOU'RE JUST
AN IDIOT TOTALLY.
OKAY, YOU'RE BOTH IDIOTS.
AND I'M GETTING HUNGRY.
OH, MY GOODNESS.
DEPUTY TOLBURN.
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
THE BATTERY WENT DEAD.
AND WE'RE STUCK UP HERE.
YOU MIND HELPING ME
OUT THERE, DEPUTY?
THANK YOU.
MY MAN.
GODWIN, WHERE'S YOUR CLOTHES AT?
I HAD TO CUT THEM OFF.
I GOT SPRAYED BY A SKUNK.
YEAH, YOU DID.
HEY, I WAS FIXING
TO GET THAT SUCKER.
WITH THAT?
YEAH, I WAS GONNA TAKE
CARE OF BUSINESS WITH IT.
HELLO?
DID YOU TRY THE
EMERGENCY SWITCH?
NO.
ALL THESE SCISSOR LIFTS HAVE
AN EMERGENCY SWITCH ON THEM.
OH! OH, MY GOODNESS!
WE'RE GOING DOWN!
YAY!
COULD THEY HAVE
DONE THAT ALL ALONG?
GODWIN, YOU DIDN'T
KNOW ABOUT THAT SWITCH?
I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT IT.
WHY DID GODWIN AND MARTIN NOT
DO THAT HOURS AGO?
THANK YOU.
WE REALLY APPRECIATE IT.
Y'ALL HAVE A GOOD DAY.
THANK YOU, OFFICER.
YOU THE MAN.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
BOY, THAT WAS FUN.
WE STILL DIDN'T GET THE DECOYS.
WE WENT HOME, WE REGROUPED,
AND I THINK WE HAVE A SOLID
PLAN "B."
I HEARD SOMEWHERE THAT
BEES DON'T STING AT NIGHT.
I ASSUME THEY'RE SLEEPING,
KINDA LIKE SI ON THE JOB.
ALL RIGHT, MARTIN,
YOU GET THE LADDER.
JASE, YOU'RE GOING
TO BE ON THE LADDER.
THE PLAN IS BULLETPROOF.
CUT THE LIMB, IT FALLS
IN THE BAG... BOOM!
WILD HONEY AND
BISCUITS FOR EVERYONE.
I GOT THE GETAWAY VEHICLE READY.
I'M GOING TO LET THEM GET OUT
THERE AND DO IT, AND I'M GOING
TO WATCH THE SHOW.
THAT THING GOT ANY BEES ON IT?
IS THE SKY BLUE?
I GUESS, I CAN'T SEE
THE SKY RIGHT NOW.
HEY, I'M BEHIND
Y'ALL ALL THE WAY.
I BET YOU ARE.
HE WAS OVER THERE LIKE A
SCARED LITTLE BOY IN A FETAL
POSITION OVER SOME BEES.
HE'S LOST HIS MANHOOD.
HEY, THAT'S HOW I ROLL.
STARTING TO MAKE A LITTLE
RACKET NOW.
YEAH.
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS.
HEY, ONE JUST FLEW OFF.
OH, DID IT?
HEY, THEY'RE MOVING.
OH! OKAY.
OH! OW!
NOT AGAIN!
DOES THIS FALL UNDER THE
CATEGORY OF "STUPID HUMAN
TRICKS"?
HEY, THEY DON'T STING AT NIGHT.
I READ SOMEWHERE THAT
BEES DON'T STING AT NIGHT.
IT SEEMS RIDICULOUS, BUT COME
TO THINK OF IT, NONE OF US HAVE
EVER BEEN STUNG AT NIGHT,
SO WE'LL GIVE IT A SHOT.
HEY, I DIDN'T KNOW WILLIE
COULD MOVE THAT FAST.
AAH! GET THEM OFF!
OH!
BUT HEY, EXPERIENCE
IS THE BEST TEACHER.
Y'ALL GET THE HIVE IN THE BAG?
HECK NO!
DID YOU SEE THEM SUCKERS
COME OUT OF THERE?
THEY GOT ME TWICE.
I WANT THIS HONEY
SO BAD, I CAN TASTE IT.
BUT IN THE END,
BUTTER'S NOT SO BAD.
MISSION ABORTED.
HEY, GUYS.
ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S THE STORY?
OH, WE GOT A STORY.
COMING HOME WITH OUR TAILS
TORN UP, IT'S EMBARRASSING.
WE GOT ONE LAST RESORT,
AND THAT'S PHIL ROBERTSON.
FOUND SOMETHING OF
INTEREST ON YOUR PROPERTY.
HUH?
IT'S TIME TO SWALLOW OUR PRIDE.
LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH.
THERE'S A BIG OL' HONEY BEEHIVE.
FULL OF HONEY.
FULL OF HONEY.
SO WHERE IS THE HONEY?
IT'S STILL IN THE HIVE.
THAT THING'S IMPENETRABLE.
WE ALL GO IN, AND
THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN...
BOOM, POW, BOOM!
YEAH, POP, POP, POP, POP.
IT GETS HOSTILE.
HEY, I TOLD Y'ALL ABOUT
THIS NIGHT OPERATION.
SI!
WAIT A MINUTE.
Y'ALL WENT OVER THERE, GOT
YOUR TAIL TORE UP, AND CAME BACK
EMPTY-HANDED.
I GOT STUNG IN THE NECK.
SINCE THEY DIDN'T THINK IT
NECESSARY TO ASK FOR ADVICE
FROM OLD DAD, THEY PRETTY WELL GOT
THEIR TAIL TORE OFF.
REAL FUNNY.
WHOO.
THE OLD BILL CLINTON
LINE "I FEEL YOUR PAIN"...
I ENJOYED THEIR PAIN.
WELL, NEVER SEND
BOYS TO DO A MAN'S JOB.
OH, HERE WE GO.
I'LL GO DOWN THERE AND GET
THE HONEY, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
HA! WE'LL SEE HOW HE DOES.
HE WON'T BE LAUGHING AFTER
HE MESSES WITH THEM BEES.
THEY'RE EVIL.
CASE CLOSED.
COLE-MAN, THIS IS WHAT ALL
THE FUSS HAS BEEN ABOUT.
WILLIE-BOY AND JASE...
SOMETIMES THEY ACT BEFORE
THEY THINK IT THROUGH AS THEY SAY.
THE REASON I CHOSE COLE-MAN
TO GO... IT'S JUST AN EXAMPLE IN
SHOWING THESE
BOYS HOW IT'S DONE.
BEES ARE KINDA LIKE WOMEN, SO
WE'RE GONNA BE REAL EASY HERE.
WHETHER YOU'RE TALKING
ABOUT BEES, DOGS, OR WOMEN...
PAIN CAN COME UP ON YOU
QUICKLY FROM EITHER ONE OF THEM.
YOU GOTTA HANDLE THEM REAL,
REAL EASY, COLE-MAN... BOTH OF THEM.
YOU START SEEING BEES.
WOMEN THE SAME WAY.
THE IDEA IS TO...
GET A LITTLE SMOKE IN THERE
TO CALM THEM ALL DOWN.
JUST KEEP A LITTLE SMOKE
GOING ON THERE LIKE THAT.
THERE YOU ARE.
SEE, DID YOU GET STUNG?
NOPE.
ME EITHER.
IT'S THE HARD HEADS AND THE FAST
MOVERS... THEY LEAVE EMPTY-HANDED,
AND ME AND YOU
LEAVE WITH THE HONEY.
OLDER HEADS PREVAIL, AND
IN THE END, PEACE OF MIND WILL
COME YOUR WAY.
IN THIS CASE, SWEET HONEY FROM
THE BEES AND A LONG-STANDING,
GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH
YOUR WOMAN IN THE FUTURE.
COLE-MAN, WE'RE GONNA
TAKE THIS HONEY TO MISS KAY.
SHE'S GONNA BE HAPPY-HAPPY!
YOUR GRANDMA'S GONNA
LOVE YOU TO DEATH, MAN.
WHERE ARE THE GUYS?
I WOULD'VE PROBABLY WORN
DIFFERENT SHOES IF I KNEW I WAS
GONNA LOAD.
THERE THEY ARE.
WHERE HAVE Y'ALL BEEN?
HUH?
YEAH, YOU'RE LOADING THE
REST OF THESE, THEY'RE HEAVY.
ALL RIGHT, SO WHERE
ARE THE DECOYS?
WHAT DECOYS?
DO NOT TELL ME THEY'RE
STILL ON THE ROOF.
KORIE'S LIKE ALL THE
ROBERTSON WOMEN.
WHEN THEY LOCKED IN ON
SOMETHING, THEY AIN'T GETTING
OFF OF IT.
I NEED THE DECOYS.
YOU'RE OUT THERE TRYING
TO GET HONEY IN THE MIDDLE OF
THE NIGHT.
I NEED THIS FOR THE
CHURCH FESTIVAL.
THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM.
THIS IS NOT A ROCKET
SCIENCE PROJECT.
YOU'RE THE IDIOT WHO COULDN'T
GET UP THERE AND GET THEM ON
THE SCISSOR LIFT.
YOU'RE THE IDIOT THAT THOUGHT
BEES DON'T STING AT NIGHT.
AND LOOK AT YOU.
I'M IN PAIN.
I JUST GOT DOUGH-POPPED BY A
THOUSAND BEES ON THE BACK OF
MY HEAD.
JUST GET THE DECOYS.
ADMIT YOU'RE STUPID.
THOSE BEE STINGS
WENT TO YOUR BRAIN.
LET ME SHOW YOU HOW
HARD IT IS TO GET THESE DOWN.
ALL RIGHT, GO GET THEM.
SO HERE I AM, GETTING
DRAGGED INTO ANOTHER ONE.
"WILLIE, YOU GOTTA HELP ME."
I'M GOING TO DO IT.
ALL RIGHT, I AIN'T
GETTING UP THERE, BOY.
I'M SCARED OF HEIGHTS.
THROW THE DECOYS DOWN.
WATCH OUT.
OH! MY WORD!
TOUGH JOB.
JASE, WE NEED THEM INTACT.
OH, WE SHOULD PUSH THEM DOWN.
PUSH THE LITTLE THING.
REMEMBER THAT EMERGENCY THING?
OKAY, I'M DOING IT.
THE DECOYS STARTED
GETTING LIGHTER AND LIGHTER.
COME ON, GUYS!
HEY, HEY!
HURRY UP!
SI, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I AIN'T DOING NOTHING!
"WH-WH-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" SI!
THE STUPID THING'S
RUNNING BY ITSELF.
WHAT DOES IT LOOK
LIKE WE'RE DOING?
WE'RE GONNA GIVE YOU A LITTLE
TASTE OF YOUR OWN MEDICINE,
JACK.
OH, THAT'S REAL FUNNY.
REAL FUNNY.
THANKS FOR THE DECOYS.
YEAH.
SERVES Y'ALL RIGHT
FOR LAUGHING AT US.
THAT'S RIGHT.
THIS IS EMBARRASSING THAT
YOU'RE WITH THE WOMEN.
I SPENT 24 1/2 YEARS
IN THE MILITARY.
ANYTIME THERE'S A CHOICE
BETWEEN TWO BEARDED MEN AND TWO
BEAUTIFUL WOMEN, SI IS ALWAYS
GONNA GO WITH THE TWO BEAUTIFUL
WOMEN.
BOYS, IN VIETNAM, WE CALL
THAT A SUCCESSFUL AMBUSH.
THAT'S RIGHT.
LOOK HERE, THIS IS LOSERS
WEEPERS, FINDERS KEEPERS.
SOMEBODY'S GOTTA WIN.
IT MIGHT AS WELL BE ME.
APOLOGIZE.
ALL YOU HAVE TO
DO IS SAY, "I'M SORRY."
SAY "I'M SORRY."
I'M NOT APOLOGIZING
FOR YOU BEING STUPID.
WELL, HOW DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE GONNA GET DOWN?
OH, I CAN GET DOWN.
THERE'S A FIVE-LETTER WORD
THAT MAKES PEOPLE START DOING
ALL KIND OF CRAZY THINGS.
MONEY.
$100 RIGHT HERE.
NAH!
UNBELIEVABLE.
$100 GOING ONCE.
NO!
COME ON, $100!
$100 GOING TWICE.
MM-HMM.
YEAH, RIGHT.
DROP IT.
HERE WE GO.
JESSIE, ARE YOU
SERIOUSLY GONNA DO IT?
HEY, IT'S $100.
MONEY TALKS, SON, MONEY TALKS.
SEE WHAT WORKS?
Y'ALL ARE RIDICULOUS.
ALL ABOARD, BOYS.
I'M GETTING OFF CHEAP.
I'D GO UP TO $1,000
TO NOT SAY I'M SORRY.
ALL WOMEN LOVE MONEY.
WORKS EVERY TIME.
YOU'RE IN A BAD
POSITION, WILLIE.
YOU BETTER RECOGNIZE.
FREEDOM!
I KNOW THIS SOUNDS CRAZY,
BUT WHAT WERE YOU DOING UP ON
THE ROOF?
IT'S A LONG STORY.
YEAH.
WHAT HAVE Y'ALL BEEN UP TO?
"BEEHIVING."
OH, NO.
COLE-MAN, SHOW
THEM WHAT YOU GOT.
I THOUGHT THAT WAS OVER.
Y'ALL ALL TORE OFF...
WHAT IN THE WORLD...
OH, MY GOD.
THEY GOT THE HONEY.
COLE!
THESE BOYS COULDN'T PULL IT OFF.
HOW DID Y'ALL DO IT?
SEE, THE TRICK IS, YOU GOTTA
TREAT THEM EXACTLY LIKE YOU
TREAT WOMEN.
YOU HAVE TO BLOW JUST
A LITTLE BIT OF SMOKE,
DON'T YOU, COLE?
COLE-MAN, HE SAID, "HEY, YOU
GOTTA TREAT THEM LIKE YOU WOULD
WOMEN... WITH A LITTLE SMOKE."
HE'S LEARNING.
YOU DIDN'T GET STUNG ANY?
NOPE.
IT'S PROBABLY 'CAUSE WE
LOOSENED THEM ALL UP FOR YOU.
NO, IT'S 'CAUSE THEY
STUNG US, AND THEY ALL DIED.
THAT'S WHY THESE BOYS
ALL GOT GOOD-LOOKING WIVES.
BUNCH OF SMOKE-BLOWING CLOWNS.
AT THE LITTLE FESTIVAL, THIS
WILL BE ONE OF THE INGREDIENTS
IN MISS KAY'S FAMOUS
PECAN HONEY PIES.
SO AFTER ALL OF THE
RIGMAROLE, AGE ALWAYS WINS OUT.
SHOWED THESE BOYS
WHAT THEY COULDN'T DO.
ME AND THE LITTLE
GRANDSON PULLED IT OFF.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S
LOAD THIS STUFF UP.
Y'ALL GET THE DECOYS.
JASE, LET'S GET THE BOOTH.
ALL RIGHT, WE'RE GONNA LET
Y'ALL GET THE BOOTH THIS TIME.
WE'LL GET THE BOOTH.
DON'T DROP IT.
YEAH, I'LL GET THAT.
ARE THESE CURTAINS
GONNA BLOW OFF?
PATIENCE HAS NEVER REALLY
BEEN ONE OF MY STRENGTHS.
AFTER TAKING ON AN ANGRY SWARM
OF BEES TWICE, THIS HAS NEVER
BEEN MORE APPARENT.
WOW.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE?
GOOD SHOT.
A PECAN PIE.
YOU SEE, THIS EXPERIENCE
HAS TAUGHT ME A PRETTY SIMPLE
LESSON.
IF YOU ACT BEFORE THINKING
THINGS THROUGH, YOU'RE FIXING TO
GET STUNG.
SOMETIMES YOU JUST GOTTA SLOW
DOWN, TAKE A STEP BACK,
AND GET SOME PERSPECTIVE.
IT MAY TAKE A LITTLE MORE TIME
THAN YOU'D LIKE, BUT AT THE END
OF THE DAY, SOME THINGS
ARE WORTH WAITING FOR.
HEY, YOU WANT TO
KISS AN OLD GOAT?
WHAT ABOUT IT, PRINCESS?
NO?
KILL THEM RIGHT THERE.
NOT BAD, BOYS.
SEE HIM WHERE HE FELL?
YEAH, HE FELL RIGHT OVER
BY THAT PIECE OF STYROFOAM.
I GUESS THAT'S WHAT THAT IS.
THAT IS SOME KIND
OF INSIDE-OUT BEEHIVE.
THAT'S PRETTY AMAZING.
OH, YEAH, YEAH.
LOOK AT THE BOTTOM OF IT.
UH-OH.
YEAH.
OH, MAN, ARE THEY ON THERE.
I'D LIKE TO GET THE HONEY.
YOU CAN'T BUY THAT IN THE STORE.
THAT'S THE BEST
HONEY YOU'LL EVER EAT.
EVERY FOOD IS BETTER WHEN
YOU GET IT, YOU PROCESS IT,
AND YOU EAT IT.
JUST TAKE THE WHOLE HIVE.
THE IDEAL MEAL WOULD BE A
FLAMING HOT DOUGHNUT WITH WILD
HONEY ALL OVER IT.
OH, IT'S GOOD.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
WILD HONEY.
THIS IS JUST RIGHT THERE,
RIPE FOR THE TAKING.
ON ONE HAND, YOU'RE GONNA GET STUNG
BY POTENTIALLY THOUSANDS OF BEES.
ON THE OTHER HAND, YOU'VE
GOT DELICIOUS WILD HONEY.
I'M GOING WITH THE HONEY.
YEAH, YEAH.
THAT'S THE HONEY, YEAH. YEP.
FRESH HONEY CAN BE COMPARED
TO A $5,000 BOTTLE OF WINE.
A FEW SETS OF CAMOUFLAGE
PANTS, FRESH, FRESH ROADKILL, $12
MILLION, GOOD CANNED
TOMATOES FROM THE GARDEN.
WE GONNA GET THE HONEY.
MEET THE ROBERTSON CLAN.
THEY TURN DUCK CALLS...
INTO A MULTIMILLION-DOLLAR
EMPIRE.
BUT RUNNING A FAMILY BUSINESS IS
TOUGH WHEN THE FAMILY JUST WANTS
TO RUN WILD.
WHOO!
♪ SILK SUIT ♪
♪ BLACK TIE ♪
♪ BLACK TIE ♪
♪ I DON'T NEED A REASON WHY ♪
♪ THEY COME RUNNING ♪
♪ JUST AS FAST AS THEY CAN ♪
♪ 'CAUSE EVERY GIRL CRAZY ♪
♪ ABOUT A SHARP-DRESSED MAN ♪
♪ ♪HEY, THESE THINGS LOOK GOOD.
OH, I'M TELLING YOU, WE
OUGHT TO GET IN THE BOOTH
BUILDING BUSINESS.
WE COULD SELL THESE THINGS.
THAT AIN'T A BAD IDEA ACTUALLY.
WHAT ARE THESE
STUPID THINGS FOR?
THERE'S A HARVEST FESTIVAL
AT THE CHURCH, STUPID.
WHERE HAS SI BEEN THE LAST DAY?
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT
THIS WAS ABOUT.
OUR CHURCH PUTS ON A
HARVEST FESTIVAL EVERY YEAR.
THERE'S FOOD, CARNIVAL GAMES,
PIE-EATING CONTEST, AND DUCK
COMMANDER ALWAYS PITCHES IN.
IT'S A WHOLE LOT OF FUN.
THESE THINGS ARE LOOKING GOOD.
THANK YOU.
WHO BOUGHT THESE
POPCORN-FLAVORED JELLY BEANS?
THAT'S AN ASSORTMENT, SO...
WHY DID I ONLY TASTE POPCORN?
THESE THINGS ARE HORRIBLE.
WHY DO YOU KEEP EATING THEM?
YOU BEEN EATING
THEM FOR 48 HOURS.
I CAN'T OFF OF THEM!
YOU KNOW WHAT I
CAN'T GET OFF OF?
THAT HONEY THAT'S
JUST HANGING THERE.
THAT SOUNDS LIKE A SETUP TO ME.
A HONEYCOMB OUT IN THE OPEN?
YEAH, I FEEL LIKE
I'M TRAPPED, BOYS.
I'M TELLING YOU.
WHAT I'VE LEARNED ABOUT
GETTING HONEY IS HEY, YOU LET
SOMEBODY ELSE GET IT.
ONE TIME, I GOT STUNG
BY 27 "BOMBLE" BEES.
Both: BOMBLE BEES?
BOMBLE BEES.
THEY START MAKING
ALL KIND OF RACKET.
JUST A BIG BLACK BALL
COMING BEHIND YOU, FLYING.
YOU KNOW, I COULD SEE
THEM STARTING TO FLUTTER.
I CRAWLED UNDER THE FENCE,
AND WHEN I DID, IT RIPPED MY
BRITCHES.
AND GUESS WHAT WAS HANGING OUT.
WHITE UNDERWEAR.
OKAY, AND THEY WAS LIKE THEM
BOMBERS IN WAR MOVIES.
THERE'S THE TARGET, BOYS.
EXPLOSIONS EVERYWHERE.
THEY LIT MY REAR END.
HUP, JACK!
AND THEN THE BOMBERS GO...
NOW YOU DONE SPILLED
THE DARN JELLY BEANS.
LET ME FIND A BROOM.
HOW WE GONNA GET
THEM BEES OFF THAT HIVE?
WHAT I'M SAYING IS
IF YOU CUT ONE LIMB...
SI.
WHAT?
JASE, YOU THINKING
WHAT I'M THINKING?
WHAT ARE YOU TWO
IDIOTS TALKING ABOUT?
I'M TALKING ABOUT USING
THAT TO GET THE BEES.
IT'S PRETTY CLEVER, AND THE BEES
WON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HIT THEM.
SEE IF THAT'LL FIT ON THE END.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
IT'S A NO-BRAINER.
OH, IT'S ON.
ABRACADABRA!
HONEY!
LET ME TRY.
GOT HIM!
BOY, YOU'RE GOOD.
THESE BEES DON'T STAND A CHANCE.
I'M A MEAN, LEAN,
BEE-SUCKING MACHINE.
WELL, MAYBE NOT SO LEAN.
HEY, GET THE GENERATOR.
GODWIN AND MARTIN,
Y'ALL STAY HERE.
WE'LL BRING BACK SOME HONEY.
WE'RE GONNA DO JUST LIKE
WE DID WHEN I WAS IN VIETNAM.
WE GONNA GO IN FAST, QUIET,
KILL EVERYTHING IN SIGHT.
SI, WE'RE NOT GOING TO KILL.
WE'RE GOING TO GET THE HONEY.
SURE WILL.
I... IT'S WAR.
THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS, AND
WE'RE GONNA KILL EVERY ONE OF
YOU.
THIS IS A 'NAM OPERATION, BOYS.
MOVE OUT.
I DON'T MIND BEING LEFT BEHIND
ON THIS LITTLE EXCURSION.
NOPE.
HEY.
HEY, BOSS LADY.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
JUST WORK.
WE'RE TRYING TO GET READY
FOR THE, UM, CHURCH FESTIVAL.
SO WE NEED SOME DECOYS.
JESSICA AND I ARE RUNNING THE
GAMES THIS YEAR, SO WE HAVE THIS
CARNIVAL GAME WHERE YOU,
LIKE, KNOCK THINGS DOWN.
NORMALLY IT'S, LIKE, BOWLING
PINS, BUT SINCE WE'RE A DUCK
COMMANDER, WE'RE
GONNA USE DUCK DECOYS.
ALL THE ONES WE GOT
UP HERE ARE ON THE ROOF.
WHAT ARE THEY DOING ON THE ROOF?
WELL, WE GOT IN AN ARGUMENT
ON HOW OFTEN THEY UPDATED
SATELLITE IMAGING.
WHERE'S THE SCISSOR LIFT?
IT'S OUT THERE IN THE WAREHOUSE.
YOU CAN DRIVE... CAN YOU DO IT?
JESSICA?
YEAH, I CAN DO IT.
THERE YOU GO.
I'LL SHOW YOU.
LET'S DO IT.
THAT'S GONNA BE
FUNNY RIGHT THERE.
YEAH.
OH, MY GOODNESS.
THERE IT IS!
I'M NOT SURE THIS
IS A GOOD IDEA.
YOU READY?
OKAY, I'M TRUSTING YOU.
OH!
IT'S OKAY.
LOOK, I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.
JESSICA, WATCH OUT!
OH!
WE GOT IT.
HAVE A LITTLE FAITH.
LOWER, LOWER, LOWER, LOWER!
WHICH ONE OF THEM PIZZAS
YOU LIKE BETTER, NEW YORK OR
CHICAGO?
OH, THERE'S NO DOUBT.
NEW YORK'S THE WAY TO GO.
THIN CRUST.
JESSICA, THIS IS CRAZY.
WHERE ARE THEY?
I KNOW, LOOK.
WE GOTTA WALK ALL
THE WAY OVER THERE.
IS THAT GOING TO HOLD US?
LET'S JUST SEE HOW
FAR WE CAN GO UP.
NO, WAIT, WE GOTTA STEP OFF!
JESSICA!
HEY, JESSICA.
THE DECOYS ARE UP THERE.
YEAH, THANKS FOR TELLING ME NOW.
THANKS, MARTIN, THANKS.
ALL RIGHT, TAKE US DOWN.
TAKE US DOWN.
I'M TRYING.
IT'S NOT WORKING.
NO.
BATTERY'S DEAD.
YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING.
OH, BOY.
HOW MANY'S ON THERE?
A WHOLE BUNCH.
I COULDN'T GET THAT BEEHIVE
WE FOUND OFF MY MIND, SO I
COME UP WITH A PLAN TO GET A
SHOP-VAC, GET WAY AWAY FROM IT,
AND SUCK ALL THE
BEES UP IN THERE.
GENIUS.
PLUG IT IN.
THAT'S ABOUT THE STUPIDEST
THING I EVER HEARD OF, Y'ALL.
ONE TO TEN, HEY, IT'S
A BIG, FAT GOOSE EGG.
YOU GONNA FIRE IT UP?
CRANK IT UP.
♪ HONEY, HONEY ♪
♪ HONEY ♪
LOOK, YOU GET HONEY IN YOUR
BEARD, IT LITERALLY STAYS THERE
FOR TWO WEEKS.
I MEAN, EVEN WHEN MY WIFE
KISSES ME, SHE'S LIKE, "OH, THAT IS
GOOD."
SHE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY.
SHE JUST THINKS I'M
SWEETER THAN MOST MALES.
ALL RIGHT, BOYS, NO
SUDDEN MOVEMENTS.
IS IT WORKING?
NO, NOT REALLY.
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT
ALL THIS CRAP, BOYS.
THEY'RE GETTING MAD.
WHOA!
I NEED MORE SLACK.
LOOK OUT!
OW!
I'M HIT!
AAH!
YOU ALMOST STARTED
TO... MAN, I'M STUNG!
GRAB HOLD OF HER!
I'M GOING... I'M LEAVING!
BEES ARE SWARMING EVERYWHERE.
I'M FALLING DOWN, BREAKING MY
NECK, GETTING STUNG A THOUSAND
TIMES.
GO, SI, GO!
I LOOK UP TO GET ON THE RIDE...
LEAVE HIM, LEAVE HIM!
THEY GONE.
HEY!
THERE ARE CASUALTIES
IN WAR, BOYS.
UNFORTUNATELY, THAT'S
JUST THE NATURE OF THE BEAST.
OW!
CLIMB DOWN ON THAT ROOF.
BE SERIOUS.
I HAVE NO FAITH IN
GODWIN AND MARTIN.
WELL, GO THROUGH THE TREE.
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO FIND
SOMETHING TO GET US DOWN.
KORIE AND I ARE GONNA
BE STUCK UP HERE ALL DAY.
WE GOT THAT LADDER BACK THERE.
WE MIGHT AS WELL GET IT AND GET
THEM DOWN BEFORE THEY PANIC, YOU
KNOW?
HELP US OUT.
ALL RIGHT, LET ME GET
THIS OUT OF THE WAY.
IT'S A SKUNK!
I THINK IT GOT ME!
OH, MAN.
I THINK THAT'S A DIRECT HIT.
OH, THAT'S TERRIBLE.
I CAN'T BREATHE.
GODWIN SMELLS WORSE THAN
THE SOUTH END OF A NORTHBOUND
DONKEY.
TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF.
OH, MAN!
ALL RIGHT, I GOT YOU.
GET THIS SHIRT OFF ME!
THAT IS REALLY BAD.
A SKUNK SMELL IS MORE
LIKE A BAD CASE OF B.O.
OH, WOW.
OH, OH, WOW!
KINDA LIKE THE ROBERTSON MEN
B.O. AFTER DUCK HUNTING ALL DAY.
MY EYES ARE BURNING.
YOUR EYES?
OH, MAN, I... YOU GOT MY LADDER?
I THINK IT'S ON MY SKIN.
UH-OH, HERE WE GO.
HEY, THAT'S ROOF'S HOT.
MARTIN, WHAT IS YOUR PLAN?
I'M GONNA COME OUT
THERE AND GET Y'ALL.
I'M GONNA HELP Y'ALL DOWN.
YOU GOTTA HURRY UP.
GODWIN, THE SKUNK! GO!
OH, MY GOODNESS!
THE SKUNK!
DON'T LEAVE US!
NOW HOW AM I GONNA GET DOWN?
WELL... THAT WAS
A TOTAL DISASTER.
I'LL ADMIT THE SHOP-VAC IDEA
WAS NOT THAT SUCCESSFUL.
I NEED SOME KIND OF LOTION,
AND I NEED A PAIR OF TWEEZERS.
BUT WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO OBTAIN
SOMETHING AS GOOD AS WILD HONEY,
YOU DO NOT CONSIDER THE DANGERS.
THAT'S FOR WHAT WE
CALL HIGH-TOPPERS.
YAHOOS.
CITY FOLK.
WELL, THERE'S TWO TYPE
OF PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD.
EDUCATED AND "UNDUCATED."
UNDUCATED?
LOOK HERE, LOOK HERE.
ONE OF THEM HAS GOT
A LEGITIMATE EXCUSE.
YEAH.
YOU, ON THE OTHER HAND,
YOU'RE EDUCATED, OKAY, AND
YOU'RE STILL AN IDIOT!
PLAIN STUPID.
NO DOUBT ABOUT IT.
AND THAT'S WHAT I'M
TALKING ABOUT, MM-HMM.
Y'ALL, THAT WAS THE
DUMBEST IDEA I'VE EVER HEARD!
OKAY, AND I'VE GOT
A LEGITIMATE EXCUSE.
WELL, WHAT'S MY EXCUSE?
HEY, YOU'RE JUST
AN IDIOT TOTALLY.
OKAY, YOU'RE BOTH IDIOTS.
AND I'M GETTING HUNGRY.
OH, MY GOODNESS.
DEPUTY TOLBURN.
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
THE BATTERY WENT DEAD.
AND WE'RE STUCK UP HERE.
YOU MIND HELPING ME
OUT THERE, DEPUTY?
THANK YOU.
MY MAN.
GODWIN, WHERE'S YOUR CLOTHES AT?
I HAD TO CUT THEM OFF.
I GOT SPRAYED BY A SKUNK.
YEAH, YOU DID.
HEY, I WAS FIXING
TO GET THAT SUCKER.
WITH THAT?
YEAH, I WAS GONNA TAKE
CARE OF BUSINESS WITH IT.
HELLO?
DID YOU TRY THE
EMERGENCY SWITCH?
NO.
ALL THESE SCISSOR LIFTS HAVE
AN EMERGENCY SWITCH ON THEM.
OH! OH, MY GOODNESS!
WE'RE GOING DOWN!
YAY!
COULD THEY HAVE
DONE THAT ALL ALONG?
GODWIN, YOU DIDN'T
KNOW ABOUT THAT SWITCH?
I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT IT.
WHY DID GODWIN AND MARTIN NOT
DO THAT HOURS AGO?
THANK YOU.
WE REALLY APPRECIATE IT.
Y'ALL HAVE A GOOD DAY.
THANK YOU, OFFICER.
YOU THE MAN.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
BOY, THAT WAS FUN.
WE STILL DIDN'T GET THE DECOYS.
WE WENT HOME, WE REGROUPED,
AND I THINK WE HAVE A SOLID
PLAN "B."
I HEARD SOMEWHERE THAT
BEES DON'T STING AT NIGHT.
I ASSUME THEY'RE SLEEPING,
KINDA LIKE SI ON THE JOB.
ALL RIGHT, MARTIN,
YOU GET THE LADDER.
JASE, YOU'RE GOING
TO BE ON THE LADDER.
THE PLAN IS BULLETPROOF.
CUT THE LIMB, IT FALLS
IN THE BAG... BOOM!
WILD HONEY AND
BISCUITS FOR EVERYONE.
I GOT THE GETAWAY VEHICLE READY.
I'M GOING TO LET THEM GET OUT
THERE AND DO IT, AND I'M GOING
TO WATCH THE SHOW.
THAT THING GOT ANY BEES ON IT?
IS THE SKY BLUE?
I GUESS, I CAN'T SEE
THE SKY RIGHT NOW.
HEY, I'M BEHIND
Y'ALL ALL THE WAY.
I BET YOU ARE.
HE WAS OVER THERE LIKE A
SCARED LITTLE BOY IN A FETAL
POSITION OVER SOME BEES.
HE'S LOST HIS MANHOOD.
HEY, THAT'S HOW I ROLL.
STARTING TO MAKE A LITTLE
RACKET NOW.
YEAH.
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS.
HEY, ONE JUST FLEW OFF.
OH, DID IT?
HEY, THEY'RE MOVING.
OH! OKAY.
OH! OW!
NOT AGAIN!
DOES THIS FALL UNDER THE
CATEGORY OF "STUPID HUMAN
TRICKS"?
HEY, THEY DON'T STING AT NIGHT.
I READ SOMEWHERE THAT
BEES DON'T STING AT NIGHT.
IT SEEMS RIDICULOUS, BUT COME
TO THINK OF IT, NONE OF US HAVE
EVER BEEN STUNG AT NIGHT,
SO WE'LL GIVE IT A SHOT.
HEY, I DIDN'T KNOW WILLIE
COULD MOVE THAT FAST.
AAH! GET THEM OFF!
OH!
BUT HEY, EXPERIENCE
IS THE BEST TEACHER.
Y'ALL GET THE HIVE IN THE BAG?
HECK NO!
DID YOU SEE THEM SUCKERS
COME OUT OF THERE?
THEY GOT ME TWICE.
I WANT THIS HONEY
SO BAD, I CAN TASTE IT.
BUT IN THE END,
BUTTER'S NOT SO BAD.
MISSION ABORTED.
HEY, GUYS.
ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S THE STORY?
OH, WE GOT A STORY.
COMING HOME WITH OUR TAILS
TORN UP, IT'S EMBARRASSING.
WE GOT ONE LAST RESORT,
AND THAT'S PHIL ROBERTSON.
FOUND SOMETHING OF
INTEREST ON YOUR PROPERTY.
HUH?
IT'S TIME TO SWALLOW OUR PRIDE.
LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH.
THERE'S A BIG OL' HONEY BEEHIVE.
FULL OF HONEY.
FULL OF HONEY.
SO WHERE IS THE HONEY?
IT'S STILL IN THE HIVE.
THAT THING'S IMPENETRABLE.
WE ALL GO IN, AND
THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN...
BOOM, POW, BOOM!
YEAH, POP, POP, POP, POP.
IT GETS HOSTILE.
HEY, I TOLD Y'ALL ABOUT
THIS NIGHT OPERATION.
SI!
WAIT A MINUTE.
Y'ALL WENT OVER THERE, GOT
YOUR TAIL TORE UP, AND CAME BACK
EMPTY-HANDED.
I GOT STUNG IN THE NECK.
SINCE THEY DIDN'T THINK IT
NECESSARY TO ASK FOR ADVICE
FROM OLD DAD, THEY PRETTY WELL GOT
THEIR TAIL TORE OFF.
REAL FUNNY.
WHOO.
THE OLD BILL CLINTON
LINE "I FEEL YOUR PAIN"...
I ENJOYED THEIR PAIN.
WELL, NEVER SEND
BOYS TO DO A MAN'S JOB.
OH, HERE WE GO.
I'LL GO DOWN THERE AND GET
THE HONEY, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
HA! WE'LL SEE HOW HE DOES.
HE WON'T BE LAUGHING AFTER
HE MESSES WITH THEM BEES.
THEY'RE EVIL.
CASE CLOSED.
COLE-MAN, THIS IS WHAT ALL
THE FUSS HAS BEEN ABOUT.
WILLIE-BOY AND JASE...
SOMETIMES THEY ACT BEFORE
THEY THINK IT THROUGH AS THEY SAY.
THE REASON I CHOSE COLE-MAN
TO GO... IT'S JUST AN EXAMPLE IN
SHOWING THESE
BOYS HOW IT'S DONE.
BEES ARE KINDA LIKE WOMEN, SO
WE'RE GONNA BE REAL EASY HERE.
WHETHER YOU'RE TALKING
ABOUT BEES, DOGS, OR WOMEN...
PAIN CAN COME UP ON YOU
QUICKLY FROM EITHER ONE OF THEM.
YOU GOTTA HANDLE THEM REAL,
REAL EASY, COLE-MAN... BOTH OF THEM.
YOU START SEEING BEES.
WOMEN THE SAME WAY.
THE IDEA IS TO...
GET A LITTLE SMOKE IN THERE
TO CALM THEM ALL DOWN.
JUST KEEP A LITTLE SMOKE
GOING ON THERE LIKE THAT.
THERE YOU ARE.
SEE, DID YOU GET STUNG?
NOPE.
ME EITHER.
IT'S THE HARD HEADS AND THE FAST
MOVERS... THEY LEAVE EMPTY-HANDED,
AND ME AND YOU
LEAVE WITH THE HONEY.
OLDER HEADS PREVAIL, AND
IN THE END, PEACE OF MIND WILL
COME YOUR WAY.
IN THIS CASE, SWEET HONEY FROM
THE BEES AND A LONG-STANDING,
GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH
YOUR WOMAN IN THE FUTURE.
COLE-MAN, WE'RE GONNA
TAKE THIS HONEY TO MISS KAY.
SHE'S GONNA BE HAPPY-HAPPY!
YOUR GRANDMA'S GONNA
LOVE YOU TO DEATH, MAN.
WHERE ARE THE GUYS?
I WOULD'VE PROBABLY WORN
DIFFERENT SHOES IF I KNEW I WAS
GONNA LOAD.
THERE THEY ARE.
WHERE HAVE Y'ALL BEEN?
HUH?
YEAH, YOU'RE LOADING THE
REST OF THESE, THEY'RE HEAVY.
ALL RIGHT, SO WHERE
ARE THE DECOYS?
WHAT DECOYS?
DO NOT TELL ME THEY'RE
STILL ON THE ROOF.
KORIE'S LIKE ALL THE
ROBERTSON WOMEN.
WHEN THEY LOCKED IN ON
SOMETHING, THEY AIN'T GETTING
OFF OF IT.
I NEED THE DECOYS.
YOU'RE OUT THERE TRYING
TO GET HONEY IN THE MIDDLE OF
THE NIGHT.
I NEED THIS FOR THE
CHURCH FESTIVAL.
THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM.
THIS IS NOT A ROCKET
SCIENCE PROJECT.
YOU'RE THE IDIOT WHO COULDN'T
GET UP THERE AND GET THEM ON
THE SCISSOR LIFT.
YOU'RE THE IDIOT THAT THOUGHT
BEES DON'T STING AT NIGHT.
AND LOOK AT YOU.
I'M IN PAIN.
I JUST GOT DOUGH-POPPED BY A
THOUSAND BEES ON THE BACK OF
MY HEAD.
JUST GET THE DECOYS.
ADMIT YOU'RE STUPID.
THOSE BEE STINGS
WENT TO YOUR BRAIN.
LET ME SHOW YOU HOW
HARD IT IS TO GET THESE DOWN.
ALL RIGHT, GO GET THEM.
SO HERE I AM, GETTING
DRAGGED INTO ANOTHER ONE.
"WILLIE, YOU GOTTA HELP ME."
I'M GOING TO DO IT.
ALL RIGHT, I AIN'T
GETTING UP THERE, BOY.
I'M SCARED OF HEIGHTS.
THROW THE DECOYS DOWN.
WATCH OUT.
OH! MY WORD!
TOUGH JOB.
JASE, WE NEED THEM INTACT.
OH, WE SHOULD PUSH THEM DOWN.
PUSH THE LITTLE THING.
REMEMBER THAT EMERGENCY THING?
OKAY, I'M DOING IT.
THE DECOYS STARTED
GETTING LIGHTER AND LIGHTER.
COME ON, GUYS!
HEY, HEY!
HURRY UP!
SI, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I AIN'T DOING NOTHING!
"WH-WH-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" SI!
THE STUPID THING'S
RUNNING BY ITSELF.
WHAT DOES IT LOOK
LIKE WE'RE DOING?
WE'RE GONNA GIVE YOU A LITTLE
TASTE OF YOUR OWN MEDICINE,
JACK.
OH, THAT'S REAL FUNNY.
REAL FUNNY.
THANKS FOR THE DECOYS.
YEAH.
SERVES Y'ALL RIGHT
FOR LAUGHING AT US.
THAT'S RIGHT.
THIS IS EMBARRASSING THAT
YOU'RE WITH THE WOMEN.
I SPENT 24 1/2 YEARS
IN THE MILITARY.
ANYTIME THERE'S A CHOICE
BETWEEN TWO BEARDED MEN AND TWO
BEAUTIFUL WOMEN, SI IS ALWAYS
GONNA GO WITH THE TWO BEAUTIFUL
WOMEN.
BOYS, IN VIETNAM, WE CALL
THAT A SUCCESSFUL AMBUSH.
THAT'S RIGHT.
LOOK HERE, THIS IS LOSERS
WEEPERS, FINDERS KEEPERS.
SOMEBODY'S GOTTA WIN.
IT MIGHT AS WELL BE ME.
APOLOGIZE.
ALL YOU HAVE TO
DO IS SAY, "I'M SORRY."
SAY "I'M SORRY."
I'M NOT APOLOGIZING
FOR YOU BEING STUPID.
WELL, HOW DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE GONNA GET DOWN?
OH, I CAN GET DOWN.
THERE'S A FIVE-LETTER WORD
THAT MAKES PEOPLE START DOING
ALL KIND OF CRAZY THINGS.
MONEY.
$100 RIGHT HERE.
NAH!
UNBELIEVABLE.
$100 GOING ONCE.
NO!
COME ON, $100!
$100 GOING TWICE.
MM-HMM.
YEAH, RIGHT.
DROP IT.
HERE WE GO.
JESSIE, ARE YOU
SERIOUSLY GONNA DO IT?
HEY, IT'S $100.
MONEY TALKS, SON, MONEY TALKS.
SEE WHAT WORKS?
Y'ALL ARE RIDICULOUS.
ALL ABOARD, BOYS.
I'M GETTING OFF CHEAP.
I'D GO UP TO $1,000
TO NOT SAY I'M SORRY.
ALL WOMEN LOVE MONEY.
WORKS EVERY TIME.
YOU'RE IN A BAD
POSITION, WILLIE.
YOU BETTER RECOGNIZE.
FREEDOM!
I KNOW THIS SOUNDS CRAZY,
BUT WHAT WERE YOU DOING UP ON
THE ROOF?
IT'S A LONG STORY.
YEAH.
WHAT HAVE Y'ALL BEEN UP TO?
"BEEHIVING."
OH, NO.
COLE-MAN, SHOW
THEM WHAT YOU GOT.
I THOUGHT THAT WAS OVER.
Y'ALL ALL TORE OFF...
WHAT IN THE WORLD...
OH, MY GOD.
THEY GOT THE HONEY.
COLE!
THESE BOYS COULDN'T PULL IT OFF.
HOW DID Y'ALL DO IT?
SEE, THE TRICK IS, YOU GOTTA
TREAT THEM EXACTLY LIKE YOU
TREAT WOMEN.
YOU HAVE TO BLOW JUST
A LITTLE BIT OF SMOKE,
DON'T YOU, COLE?
COLE-MAN, HE SAID, "HEY, YOU
GOTTA TREAT THEM LIKE YOU WOULD
WOMEN... WITH A LITTLE SMOKE."
HE'S LEARNING.
YOU DIDN'T GET STUNG ANY?
NOPE.
IT'S PROBABLY 'CAUSE WE
LOOSENED THEM ALL UP FOR YOU.
NO, IT'S 'CAUSE THEY
STUNG US, AND THEY ALL DIED.
THAT'S WHY THESE BOYS
ALL GOT GOOD-LOOKING WIVES.
BUNCH OF SMOKE-BLOWING CLOWNS.
AT THE LITTLE FESTIVAL, THIS
WILL BE ONE OF THE INGREDIENTS
IN MISS KAY'S FAMOUS
PECAN HONEY PIES.
SO AFTER ALL OF THE
RIGMAROLE, AGE ALWAYS WINS OUT.
SHOWED THESE BOYS
WHAT THEY COULDN'T DO.
ME AND THE LITTLE
GRANDSON PULLED IT OFF.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S
LOAD THIS STUFF UP.
Y'ALL GET THE DECOYS.
JASE, LET'S GET THE BOOTH.
ALL RIGHT, WE'RE GONNA LET
Y'ALL GET THE BOOTH THIS TIME.
WE'LL GET THE BOOTH.
DON'T DROP IT.
YEAH, I'LL GET THAT.
ARE THESE CURTAINS
GONNA BLOW OFF?
PATIENCE HAS NEVER REALLY
BEEN ONE OF MY STRENGTHS.
AFTER TAKING ON AN ANGRY SWARM
OF BEES TWICE, THIS HAS NEVER
BEEN MORE APPARENT.
WOW.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE?
GOOD SHOT.
A PECAN PIE.
YOU SEE, THIS EXPERIENCE
HAS TAUGHT ME A PRETTY SIMPLE
LESSON.
IF YOU ACT BEFORE THINKING
THINGS THROUGH, YOU'RE FIXING TO
GET STUNG.
SOMETIMES YOU JUST GOTTA SLOW
DOWN, TAKE A STEP BACK,
AND GET SOME PERSPECTIVE.
IT MAY TAKE A LITTLE MORE TIME
THAN YOU'D LIKE, BUT AT THE END
OF THE DAY, SOME THINGS
ARE WORTH WAITING FOR.
HEY, YOU WANT TO
KISS AN OLD GOAT?
WHAT ABOUT IT, PRINCESS?
NO?