Dream Corp LLC (2016–…): Season 2, Episode 6 - Wild Bill - full transcript
Roberts' old roommate from Science College, Bill Ruff, pays a visit to Dream Corp LLC under the guise of selling bad office artwork. Everyone in the staff is charmed except for 88, who ...
I sold this one
the food pill last week.
- Oh, wow.
- Food pill.
Bill sells super high-end art
to huge corporations.
Tell us another of your
fascinating stories,
- would you, mate?
- Well...
Oh, look at this one.
This one take me back.
When I was a kid, we had
an evil real estate developer
who wanted to destroy our home,
but my friends and I found
a map to pirate's treasure.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
- You've lived an incredible life, Bill.
- Are you serious?
Very serious.
Anyway, so I made friends
with a weird-looking straw man.
I found the treasure.
I kissed my brother's
girlfriend by accident,
put the Fratelli Brothers back
behind bars where they belong.
Let me guess.
Was it One-Eyed Willy's treasure?
- You must have seen the news.
- Right.
Bill, did your brother find out
that you'd kissed his girl, huh?
- Doctor, patient is under and ready to go.
- Bea, this is Bill Ruff.
Wild Bill, get your
whiskey-filled Ruff.
Rrrrrr.
We went to science college
together, this maniac and me.
Young lady...
where did you put the trophy
where you won
the number-one smartest
and most beautiful woman award?
I have a cabinet for my trophies.
- Oh.
- Back in '76 ...
- '77.
- Yeah. Right.
Back in '77, right,
I tested the first version
of Truth Paste on Bill,
and all his teeth fell out.
It was college...
crazy...
I'm sure glad
they grew back, Bill.
Water under the bridge, friend,
water under the bridge.
2x06 - Wild Bill
- Hello, 88.
- Jesus.
Hey, is the bathroom this way?
Uh, no, this is very
clearly a dead end.
Kind of like your job?
This is just a stepping
stone for me.
I could help you, 88,
but you got to help me.
Help me steal everything
Dr. Roberts ever built
and sell it to the highest bidder.
Why would I help you do that?
Because I used to be just like you ...
depressed,
hungover all the time,
can't maintain an erection, hm?
Why do you ...
How do you know that?
You've got the look.
I told myself no more.
I got stuck in a traffic jam
on the way to my daughter's
birthday party.
I ditched the car, got in a fight
with a Korean shop owner,
killed a gang member...
...and then I blew up a construction
site with a rocket launcher.
That's the plot to "Falling Down."
Exactly.
Ah! Ah, no, no!
Dr. Roberts took my teeth
and ruined my life,
and now I'm gonna ruin his!
- Ah!
- Ah!
- Ah!
- Ah!
- Ah!
- Whoa!
What the [bleep]?
The bringer?
Uh, no, I'm the ...
I'm the janitor.
No, no, no, no, the bringer.
♪ The bringer ♪
Uh, yeah, yeah.
I bring, uh, trash to you.
- To Norf-Norf?
- Yeah, to, uh, to Norf-Norf.
But, Norf-Norf, I have to go
help my coworkers.
Um, coworkers, people
you see every day for money.
- Oh.
- I ... They're like... friends.
Friends with Norf-Norf?
- Yeah.
- Oh, friend! Norf-Norf help.
- We go cold hole.
- Cold hole.
Okay.
That's good.
Take light stick.
I've always been scared of the dark,
which, by the way, is totally
a metaphor for the unknown.
Very interesting.
And how does that make you feel?
This thing is not even clicking.
I'm cooking in here.
Come this way.
Follow me.
Steve, he's not hearing me.
Whoa! Billy-goat.
Robertle the turtle.
Forgive me, sir.
I don't want to
interrupt your session.
Oh, Patient 95 comes in
once a month and unloads.
This is therapeutic for her.
Oh, Roberts, you're always
keeping the dream alive.
Listen, this is amazing art,
but I can't afford any of this.
All my money goes to the science.
- And malpractice insurance.
- Oh, come on, Roberts.
I want to give you a piece
for your office on the house.
- Oh, no, no, no, Bill, I can't ...
- For old time's sake.
- No, Bill, I couldn't.
- Old time's sake.
Okay. Do you happen to have
one of those prints
of the babies in the cabbages?
Could you imagine that, growing
babies in plants? I can...
- and we're very close.
- Well, you pick what you want.
I just need to take a quick
gander in your office,
you know, to check for height
and width of the wall space.
Oh, yeah, yeah, if you go
right down there,
- you'll run right into my office.
- Okay.
You can't miss it, and Bill...
don't go stealing anything.
Roberts, you crazy piece of shit.
I love you.
Hi, Bill.
Hi, Bill.
How's it going, Bill?
Nah. Look what I got.
They're exactly like yours, Bill.
Hey, Bill, want to
come to my room,
and we can talk teeth,
have a little wine?
Do I like sangria?
Actually, I don't,
not that much.
Hey, Bill, look out for
your teeth in my mouth.
Your teeth in my mouth.
- Can the giggler help?
- Yeah, they are a lot like yours.
They're exactly like yours.
Bill, man...
Roberts.
- More friends.
- Okay.
Ahmed, Ahmed!
Whoo!
Ahmed, Ahmed!
Whoo!
_
Bill, tell me more about
your pet monkey, Marcel,
and your friend, Chandl...
Oh, I see.
You backstabbing son of a bitch.
This reminds me of the time
I befriended a sentient robot
and used him to help me
dig into a bank vault.
That's the plot of "Short Circuit 2."
You're not getting away
with this. Dr. Roberts!
Bea, does this picture say,
"I trust my doctor," to you?
- It says, "Isolation and depression."
- That's subjective.
It's fine.
Everything's fine.
I'm like, "Mom,
you need a new phone.
- What happened to your teeth?
- Don't be bitter, be better.
"Be better."
I like that, "Better."
It would be better
if I were in this picture
comforting the man
with the umbrella.
You don't suppose you could
cut out a picture of me
and paste it in here, do you?
- Like this?
- Exactly.
That's perfect.
Oh.
Yeah, I have a whole
bunch of those.
I made one for each of you guys.
I use them in my little plays
when you guys are at home
in your own homes.
♪ I'm here to take you
out of your misery ♪
- ♪ Your misery ♪
- No, don't do that to him!
He's not a monkey.
Sorry, Randy.
I understand your friends
are very important.
Bill is bad!
He's bad.
- What is that racket up there?
- Bill is bad!
I just had that
AC unit fixed last week.
I'll troubleshoot it.
Hello, Bill.
- Oh.
- Well, it's time to leave, old friend.
Bill, thank you.
It was a pleasure.
Oh, believe me.
The pleasure's all mine.
Bill!
We're like two teeth models now.
Son...
take your own life.
Son?
Dr. Roberts, that man is a
crook, a liar and a robophobic.
I caught him stealing
the schematics
- for the dream chamber.
- Is that...
- Take it, Bill! Take it!
- Hey.
Bill...
I thought we were old friends.
You destroyed my teeth, Roberts.
Well, true, but that was
in the name of science.
Oh, [bleep] that!
♪ Amazing grace ♪
♪ How sweet the sound ♪
I think you might be
just crossing the line.
I'ma bite your face off.
- It's all a simulation.
- No. Don't leave me like this.
No.
Ah!
No!
Why?
Why'd you do this to him?
Daddy!
- Why?
- No one should mess with science,
- and you can't stop progress.
- Daddy!
Why?
Oh, he's breathing.
the food pill last week.
- Oh, wow.
- Food pill.
Bill sells super high-end art
to huge corporations.
Tell us another of your
fascinating stories,
- would you, mate?
- Well...
Oh, look at this one.
This one take me back.
When I was a kid, we had
an evil real estate developer
who wanted to destroy our home,
but my friends and I found
a map to pirate's treasure.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
- You've lived an incredible life, Bill.
- Are you serious?
Very serious.
Anyway, so I made friends
with a weird-looking straw man.
I found the treasure.
I kissed my brother's
girlfriend by accident,
put the Fratelli Brothers back
behind bars where they belong.
Let me guess.
Was it One-Eyed Willy's treasure?
- You must have seen the news.
- Right.
Bill, did your brother find out
that you'd kissed his girl, huh?
- Doctor, patient is under and ready to go.
- Bea, this is Bill Ruff.
Wild Bill, get your
whiskey-filled Ruff.
Rrrrrr.
We went to science college
together, this maniac and me.
Young lady...
where did you put the trophy
where you won
the number-one smartest
and most beautiful woman award?
I have a cabinet for my trophies.
- Oh.
- Back in '76 ...
- '77.
- Yeah. Right.
Back in '77, right,
I tested the first version
of Truth Paste on Bill,
and all his teeth fell out.
It was college...
crazy...
I'm sure glad
they grew back, Bill.
Water under the bridge, friend,
water under the bridge.
2x06 - Wild Bill
- Hello, 88.
- Jesus.
Hey, is the bathroom this way?
Uh, no, this is very
clearly a dead end.
Kind of like your job?
This is just a stepping
stone for me.
I could help you, 88,
but you got to help me.
Help me steal everything
Dr. Roberts ever built
and sell it to the highest bidder.
Why would I help you do that?
Because I used to be just like you ...
depressed,
hungover all the time,
can't maintain an erection, hm?
Why do you ...
How do you know that?
You've got the look.
I told myself no more.
I got stuck in a traffic jam
on the way to my daughter's
birthday party.
I ditched the car, got in a fight
with a Korean shop owner,
killed a gang member...
...and then I blew up a construction
site with a rocket launcher.
That's the plot to "Falling Down."
Exactly.
Ah! Ah, no, no!
Dr. Roberts took my teeth
and ruined my life,
and now I'm gonna ruin his!
- Ah!
- Ah!
- Ah!
- Ah!
- Ah!
- Whoa!
What the [bleep]?
The bringer?
Uh, no, I'm the ...
I'm the janitor.
No, no, no, no, the bringer.
♪ The bringer ♪
Uh, yeah, yeah.
I bring, uh, trash to you.
- To Norf-Norf?
- Yeah, to, uh, to Norf-Norf.
But, Norf-Norf, I have to go
help my coworkers.
Um, coworkers, people
you see every day for money.
- Oh.
- I ... They're like... friends.
Friends with Norf-Norf?
- Yeah.
- Oh, friend! Norf-Norf help.
- We go cold hole.
- Cold hole.
Okay.
That's good.
Take light stick.
I've always been scared of the dark,
which, by the way, is totally
a metaphor for the unknown.
Very interesting.
And how does that make you feel?
This thing is not even clicking.
I'm cooking in here.
Come this way.
Follow me.
Steve, he's not hearing me.
Whoa! Billy-goat.
Robertle the turtle.
Forgive me, sir.
I don't want to
interrupt your session.
Oh, Patient 95 comes in
once a month and unloads.
This is therapeutic for her.
Oh, Roberts, you're always
keeping the dream alive.
Listen, this is amazing art,
but I can't afford any of this.
All my money goes to the science.
- And malpractice insurance.
- Oh, come on, Roberts.
I want to give you a piece
for your office on the house.
- Oh, no, no, no, Bill, I can't ...
- For old time's sake.
- No, Bill, I couldn't.
- Old time's sake.
Okay. Do you happen to have
one of those prints
of the babies in the cabbages?
Could you imagine that, growing
babies in plants? I can...
- and we're very close.
- Well, you pick what you want.
I just need to take a quick
gander in your office,
you know, to check for height
and width of the wall space.
Oh, yeah, yeah, if you go
right down there,
- you'll run right into my office.
- Okay.
You can't miss it, and Bill...
don't go stealing anything.
Roberts, you crazy piece of shit.
I love you.
Hi, Bill.
Hi, Bill.
How's it going, Bill?
Nah. Look what I got.
They're exactly like yours, Bill.
Hey, Bill, want to
come to my room,
and we can talk teeth,
have a little wine?
Do I like sangria?
Actually, I don't,
not that much.
Hey, Bill, look out for
your teeth in my mouth.
Your teeth in my mouth.
- Can the giggler help?
- Yeah, they are a lot like yours.
They're exactly like yours.
Bill, man...
Roberts.
- More friends.
- Okay.
Ahmed, Ahmed!
Whoo!
Ahmed, Ahmed!
Whoo!
_
Bill, tell me more about
your pet monkey, Marcel,
and your friend, Chandl...
Oh, I see.
You backstabbing son of a bitch.
This reminds me of the time
I befriended a sentient robot
and used him to help me
dig into a bank vault.
That's the plot of "Short Circuit 2."
You're not getting away
with this. Dr. Roberts!
Bea, does this picture say,
"I trust my doctor," to you?
- It says, "Isolation and depression."
- That's subjective.
It's fine.
Everything's fine.
I'm like, "Mom,
you need a new phone.
- What happened to your teeth?
- Don't be bitter, be better.
"Be better."
I like that, "Better."
It would be better
if I were in this picture
comforting the man
with the umbrella.
You don't suppose you could
cut out a picture of me
and paste it in here, do you?
- Like this?
- Exactly.
That's perfect.
Oh.
Yeah, I have a whole
bunch of those.
I made one for each of you guys.
I use them in my little plays
when you guys are at home
in your own homes.
♪ I'm here to take you
out of your misery ♪
- ♪ Your misery ♪
- No, don't do that to him!
He's not a monkey.
Sorry, Randy.
I understand your friends
are very important.
Bill is bad!
He's bad.
- What is that racket up there?
- Bill is bad!
I just had that
AC unit fixed last week.
I'll troubleshoot it.
Hello, Bill.
- Oh.
- Well, it's time to leave, old friend.
Bill, thank you.
It was a pleasure.
Oh, believe me.
The pleasure's all mine.
Bill!
We're like two teeth models now.
Son...
take your own life.
Son?
Dr. Roberts, that man is a
crook, a liar and a robophobic.
I caught him stealing
the schematics
- for the dream chamber.
- Is that...
- Take it, Bill! Take it!
- Hey.
Bill...
I thought we were old friends.
You destroyed my teeth, Roberts.
Well, true, but that was
in the name of science.
Oh, [bleep] that!
♪ Amazing grace ♪
♪ How sweet the sound ♪
I think you might be
just crossing the line.
I'ma bite your face off.
- It's all a simulation.
- No. Don't leave me like this.
No.
Ah!
No!
Why?
Why'd you do this to him?
Daddy!
- Why?
- No one should mess with science,
- and you can't stop progress.
- Daddy!
Why?
Oh, he's breathing.