Dream Corp LLC (2016–…): Season 2, Episode 5 - Woomba - full transcript
A very pregnant Patient 6 visits Dream Corp LLC desperate to be cured of her strange addiction to eating couch cushions. Randy makes a cyst popping video.
- When are you due?
- Uh, four days ago.
- The doctor's gonna be right with you.
- I have a coupon.
Good morning, Patient.
I'm Dr. Roberts. Oh.
- What brings you in today?
- Mm ...
Oh, snacking on some foam,
are we?
Or, as it's known
in the medical world, pica,
an appetite for
non-nutritional substances ...
drywall, paint,
couch cushions.
Low-resilience polyurethane foam.
I-I remember that smell...
...the taste.
I once ate an entire love seat.
Tampa Bay, 1987...
- Doctor.
- Pica!
Normally stress-related.
POV cams are latched in place.
Follow the light, please.
Follow the light.
Follow the light, please.
Follow the light.
How long have you been
having these cravings?
- Mm, nine months.
- I'm gonna add these to your file.
I've been through two couches,
a recliner, my sister's ottoman.
- She won't talk to me anymore.
- Mm-hmm.
I got no friends, no furniture.
It seems to be causing
some abdominal swelling, too.
Uh, Doctor, uh, may I?
- What we do here at Dream Corp is rewire ...
- Yeah, I totally get it.
Just ... Just rewire whatever it is
that makes me
want to eat those delicious, delicious
cushions before this baby comes.
Ah!
Good God!
Ahmed!
Lead blanket.
Doc, I think I have a cyst.
Feels tender.
You've come
to the right place, Patient 6.
I know just what to do.
Let's crack open the ol' egg
and see what drips out.
I'm a woman also.
2x05 - Woomba
Would you look at that.
It's a possible dermoid.
- You think?
- What's that mean?
Teeth and hair.
One...
- two ...
- Ow!
[Bleep]!
Maybe just a hematoma.
I'll run a biopsy to be sure.
Oh, that feels so much better.
It's just a cyst, guys.
- I'll have 88 pop it for my vlog.
- No.
Oh, don't get him
started on bulbous sacks of pus.
I love cysts.
Patient 6, can you hear me?
This is your captain speaking.
We have reached
our cruising altitude,
and you are free to move about
your subconscious.
I'll meet you in baggage claim.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
Really?
Now's the time for that?
A tuna sandwich on a plane?
Are you that hungry?
Mm-hmm.
Aah!
She doesn't seem to be pregnant
in her subconscious, Doctor.
I'm going in.
Does flying in a plane
still count as a flying dream?
I'll look into it.
I'm so jealous of human
embryonic development ...
symbiosis between
mother and offspring,
gestating inside the biological
marvel, the woomba.
Am I saying that right?
The ... the womby?
The "b" is silent.
Wombs are inefficient.
Why would you think
that wombs are ineff...
My parents are genealogists.
- Okay.
- Randy, drop me in.
Dialing nine.
Locked and loaded.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Hello?
Patient 6?
Hello, Patient 6?
Whoa, Randy, I think something's
moving around in your neck sack.
Shut up.
- No, yeah, it is.
- Yeah.
- What?
- Something's going on.
Randy, she's not here.
I'm blind!
Doctor!
I'm blind!
Doctor!
I can hear you.
I can't see you.
Look not with the eyes,
but with the mind.
Hey, guys, I think
her water broke.
Excellent!
I've never seen a live birth.
Not excellent, T.E.R.R.Y.!
Should we call an ambulance?
No, once we pop it and drain it,
it'll be fine, but thank you, 88.
- No, for her!
- No!
I'm gonna see a live birth,
live birth!
Randy, wake me up.
Doctor.
I-I think she's in labor.
My real concern is the teeth
falling out and the blindness.
Her refusal to see ...
What's that smell?
It's her water.
It broke.
No, just urine.
Amazing how asparagus passes
through the body so quickly.
Oh. Becoming very pungent.
That reminds me ...
Can hoagies go bad?
What?
- Oh.
- What?
Ew.
- Whoa.
- What?
- Uh, there's a...
- Look at that.
Uh, Randy, uh ...
- Huh?
- Ooh.
Ooh, squashy.
Agh.
Bea, check on that biopsy.
Look at the issue, Patient 6.
I can't see.
You don't need your eyes
in your mind, Patient 6.
Trust yourself.
Spoiled.
I put all the milk in the cupboard.
It's all spoiled.
- Help!
- Help!
- Help us!
- Help us!
- Please, don't leave us here.
- Help us.
Help us. Help. Help us.
Help. Help us.
Please.
Don't leave us here.
No! I'm not...
No!
Fantastic.
Nurse Ahmed
to the dream chamber.
Nurse Ahmed
to the dream chamber.
Hmm. Your hair looks
great up like that, honey.
Mama?
Been a while since I've seen
the Chinnamasta ...
goddess of desire,
goddess of contradiction.
Have you done this before?
I'm a registered doula, 88.
It's my passion.
- Ahmed, prep the epidural.
- Doc.
Randy, drop me in.
All right, point taken.
Through the mud
comes the lotus flower.
Turned out it was some type
of African peanut butter.
You would know this
if you called more often.
I'm sitting on your grandmother,
by the way.
Thank her for the prayer beads.
Oh, my God.
Nana.
Visualize vitality.
Expose your dependence.
Expel your cravings.
This is not the ending of one life,
but the beginning of two.
Randy, pull us out.
You got this, 88.
Confidence.
- Baby's about to pop.
- Randy?
T.E.R.R.Y., make sure it's in focus.
Randy, please.
I know what I'm doing.
Okay, guys, uh, I have a level-A5,
uh, lump here with movement.
- Randy.
- Bit of an anomaly.
Uh, I just want to thank all
you, uh, twisted cystheads
out there for subscribing,
and especially Trevor31
for being a good pal
and, uh, commenting.
And action, 88.
Breathe through it, Randy.
Breathe. Do it, 88.
Don't do it!
The biopsy!
Let it hatch on its own!
Don't do it!
Let it hatch on its own!
Let it hatch on it... Oh!
Oh! Babies!
Babies!
Oh, my babies!
Come get Daddy's milk!
- Is there one on me?
- Yeah, your face.
♪ Please ♪
♪ Don't let it get to you ♪
♪ Even if you don't realize it,
it's still all up to you ♪
♪ Even if you don't,
even if you don't realize it ♪
♪ It's still all up to you ♪
I'm a mommy!
- Uh, four days ago.
- The doctor's gonna be right with you.
- I have a coupon.
Good morning, Patient.
I'm Dr. Roberts. Oh.
- What brings you in today?
- Mm ...
Oh, snacking on some foam,
are we?
Or, as it's known
in the medical world, pica,
an appetite for
non-nutritional substances ...
drywall, paint,
couch cushions.
Low-resilience polyurethane foam.
I-I remember that smell...
...the taste.
I once ate an entire love seat.
Tampa Bay, 1987...
- Doctor.
- Pica!
Normally stress-related.
POV cams are latched in place.
Follow the light, please.
Follow the light.
Follow the light, please.
Follow the light.
How long have you been
having these cravings?
- Mm, nine months.
- I'm gonna add these to your file.
I've been through two couches,
a recliner, my sister's ottoman.
- She won't talk to me anymore.
- Mm-hmm.
I got no friends, no furniture.
It seems to be causing
some abdominal swelling, too.
Uh, Doctor, uh, may I?
- What we do here at Dream Corp is rewire ...
- Yeah, I totally get it.
Just ... Just rewire whatever it is
that makes me
want to eat those delicious, delicious
cushions before this baby comes.
Ah!
Good God!
Ahmed!
Lead blanket.
Doc, I think I have a cyst.
Feels tender.
You've come
to the right place, Patient 6.
I know just what to do.
Let's crack open the ol' egg
and see what drips out.
I'm a woman also.
2x05 - Woomba
Would you look at that.
It's a possible dermoid.
- You think?
- What's that mean?
Teeth and hair.
One...
- two ...
- Ow!
[Bleep]!
Maybe just a hematoma.
I'll run a biopsy to be sure.
Oh, that feels so much better.
It's just a cyst, guys.
- I'll have 88 pop it for my vlog.
- No.
Oh, don't get him
started on bulbous sacks of pus.
I love cysts.
Patient 6, can you hear me?
This is your captain speaking.
We have reached
our cruising altitude,
and you are free to move about
your subconscious.
I'll meet you in baggage claim.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
Really?
Now's the time for that?
A tuna sandwich on a plane?
Are you that hungry?
Mm-hmm.
Aah!
She doesn't seem to be pregnant
in her subconscious, Doctor.
I'm going in.
Does flying in a plane
still count as a flying dream?
I'll look into it.
I'm so jealous of human
embryonic development ...
symbiosis between
mother and offspring,
gestating inside the biological
marvel, the woomba.
Am I saying that right?
The ... the womby?
The "b" is silent.
Wombs are inefficient.
Why would you think
that wombs are ineff...
My parents are genealogists.
- Okay.
- Randy, drop me in.
Dialing nine.
Locked and loaded.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Hello?
Patient 6?
Hello, Patient 6?
Whoa, Randy, I think something's
moving around in your neck sack.
Shut up.
- No, yeah, it is.
- Yeah.
- What?
- Something's going on.
Randy, she's not here.
I'm blind!
Doctor!
I'm blind!
Doctor!
I can hear you.
I can't see you.
Look not with the eyes,
but with the mind.
Hey, guys, I think
her water broke.
Excellent!
I've never seen a live birth.
Not excellent, T.E.R.R.Y.!
Should we call an ambulance?
No, once we pop it and drain it,
it'll be fine, but thank you, 88.
- No, for her!
- No!
I'm gonna see a live birth,
live birth!
Randy, wake me up.
Doctor.
I-I think she's in labor.
My real concern is the teeth
falling out and the blindness.
Her refusal to see ...
What's that smell?
It's her water.
It broke.
No, just urine.
Amazing how asparagus passes
through the body so quickly.
Oh. Becoming very pungent.
That reminds me ...
Can hoagies go bad?
What?
- Oh.
- What?
Ew.
- Whoa.
- What?
- Uh, there's a...
- Look at that.
Uh, Randy, uh ...
- Huh?
- Ooh.
Ooh, squashy.
Agh.
Bea, check on that biopsy.
Look at the issue, Patient 6.
I can't see.
You don't need your eyes
in your mind, Patient 6.
Trust yourself.
Spoiled.
I put all the milk in the cupboard.
It's all spoiled.
- Help!
- Help!
- Help us!
- Help us!
- Please, don't leave us here.
- Help us.
Help us. Help. Help us.
Help. Help us.
Please.
Don't leave us here.
No! I'm not...
No!
Fantastic.
Nurse Ahmed
to the dream chamber.
Nurse Ahmed
to the dream chamber.
Hmm. Your hair looks
great up like that, honey.
Mama?
Been a while since I've seen
the Chinnamasta ...
goddess of desire,
goddess of contradiction.
Have you done this before?
I'm a registered doula, 88.
It's my passion.
- Ahmed, prep the epidural.
- Doc.
Randy, drop me in.
All right, point taken.
Through the mud
comes the lotus flower.
Turned out it was some type
of African peanut butter.
You would know this
if you called more often.
I'm sitting on your grandmother,
by the way.
Thank her for the prayer beads.
Oh, my God.
Nana.
Visualize vitality.
Expose your dependence.
Expel your cravings.
This is not the ending of one life,
but the beginning of two.
Randy, pull us out.
You got this, 88.
Confidence.
- Baby's about to pop.
- Randy?
T.E.R.R.Y., make sure it's in focus.
Randy, please.
I know what I'm doing.
Okay, guys, uh, I have a level-A5,
uh, lump here with movement.
- Randy.
- Bit of an anomaly.
Uh, I just want to thank all
you, uh, twisted cystheads
out there for subscribing,
and especially Trevor31
for being a good pal
and, uh, commenting.
And action, 88.
Breathe through it, Randy.
Breathe. Do it, 88.
Don't do it!
The biopsy!
Let it hatch on its own!
Don't do it!
Let it hatch on its own!
Let it hatch on it... Oh!
Oh! Babies!
Babies!
Oh, my babies!
Come get Daddy's milk!
- Is there one on me?
- Yeah, your face.
♪ Please ♪
♪ Don't let it get to you ♪
♪ Even if you don't realize it,
it's still all up to you ♪
♪ Even if you don't,
even if you don't realize it ♪
♪ It's still all up to you ♪
I'm a mommy!