Donkey Kong Country (1997–2000): Season 1, Episode 14 - Bluster's Sales Ape-stravaganza - full transcript

[Jungle music playing]

♪ Ooh ♪ Ah ♪ Ooh-ah
♪ Donkey Kong ♪ Hey-oh

♪ Look out down
below ♪ Here he comes

♪ Banana slamma

♪ Donkey Kong ♪

♪ Ooh ♪ Ah ♪ Ooh-ah, Donkey Kong

♪ Ooh ♪ Ah ♪ Ooh-ah,
Donkey Kong ♪ Hey-oh

♪ Look out down
below ♪ Here he comes

♪ Banana slamma ♪
Kongo Bongo"s hero ♪

♪ Hey-oh ♪ Donkey Kong,
let"s go ♪

♪ Let"s go ♪



♪ Here he comes ♪ Banana slamma

[Birds chirping]

DONKEY KONG: We"re all

dressed up with somewhere to go.

Looking forward to the

Kongo Bongo Karaoke Cruise,
Candy?

Am I?

I"ve been waiting
months for this.

I can"t remember the last time I

had you all to myself,
Donkey Kong.

Come on, Candy.

I"m yours 24 hours a day.

That is when you can squeeze

me in between guarding your



Coconut, and your mirror.

It"s not that bad, Candy.

Besides, I"m here now.

And we"ve got the
whole afternoon.

That sounds like a promise.

Pucker up, big boy.

And let"s seal it with a...

No time for any of that

oochie-coochie-smoochie stuff.

Cranky?

You know the drill.

But I... The only
"Butt" is the one

you"re getting over to my place,
now.

This is an emergency.

Whoops.

Sorry, Candy, got to go.

You understand.

Obviously, you don"t.

Candy, please, it"s my duty as

future ruler of Kongo Bongo.

I"ll be back before you know it.

I"m going to have Klump's

hide for a new pair of boots.

He"s bringing me
the fastest cart.

And he"s still late.

Maybe he got the big hand and

the little hand on
the clock mixed up.

I do.

But then telling time...

Like most things for you,

Krusha... is as difficult as

trying to calculate
what day it is.

Uhh, Tuesday?

Oh, oh, oh, Saturday?

I"ll admit Klump is a lunkhead.

But you, Krusha,
you redefine the term.

[Cart approaching]

Halt!

[Thumping]

You lunkhead!

I want a full damage report.

Well, a few scratches,

couple of missing scales,

one heck of a goose egg.

Not Krusha, you newt, my cart.

Right, and it wasn"t easy for

me to find that cart either,
lunkhead.

KRUSHA: And obviously,

even more difficult
for you to control.

Yeah, good thing it"s got

some decent bra... Huh?

No matter,
a momentary distraction.

I assure I am
rapt with attention.

I believe you were elaborating

on your brilliant plan for

bringing Kongo
Bongo to its patellas.

Hey, watch your mouth.

Uhh, that would be "Knees".

If it would please Your Majesty

to continue... You"re
certain the details

won"t bore you?

Oh, quite the contrary, my lord.

Well, I certainly don"t mind

this turn of events.

What kind of a
sissy salute is that?

DONKEY KONG: "A false alarm"?

You mean the Crystal
Coconut is safe?

King K. Rool"s not after it?

Guarding the Coconut is your

responsibility, Donkey Kong.

It has the power to make you

ruler of Kongo Bongo.

Until that day comes, you are to

watch over it day and night.

Right.

And I"m only a hologram away.

And please, Cranky,
no more false alarms.

[Krusha laughing]

"If you can" t beat them,

join them, then beat them" is

what I always say.

[Laughing]

Oh, I can"t tell you how

stimulating it is to have

someone almost as smart as

myself to talk to.

Huh?

I"m sure you will be able to see

the sheer genius of my new plan.

Not the Candy Clone.

Last time we deployed her,

everything blew up in our faces.

Modifications have been made.

Let"s go for a ride,
you big ape.

See?

A perfect Donkey Kong bait.

Let"s go for a ride,
you big ape.

[Electronics fizzling]

She"ll lure him into my

fastest mining cart.

And, without brakes, he"ll be

stuck racing around Kongo Bongo

while I march in and take the

Crystal Coconut.

Cute.

"Cute"?

Oh, it"s cunning and all

that, but like all your plans

and attempts, not nearly

ruthless enough to ensure

complete and absolute success.

Purely a hypothesis,

totally unfounded, I"m sure.

All right, one more word and

you"ll be answering to me.

Back off, you militant mutant.

He"s just hypothesizing.

Oh, yeah, well, as long as

he"s just, uhh, hypothesizing.

No harm in hypothesizing.

After all,
hypothesizing never hurt, umm...

ROOL: Get the bait, Klump!

Yes, sir, King K. Rool, sir.

Let"s go for a ride,
you big ape.

Patience, my dear.

I"m seeing to it that

Donkey Kong has
the ride of his life.

KLUMP: He"s coming!

Target"s coming!

I hear him!

Donkey Kong"s on his way!

Everything"s set.

I"ve taken care of everything.

Ah, yeah.

Clone positioned,

brakes disabled, light blinking.

"Light blinking"?

What in Sam Hill is that?

As I said,
I"ve taken care of everything.

[Rustling]

Quick, hide.

[Laughing]

It would appear that

Donkey Kong has shrunk.

Wow, Candy.

I can"t believe you grabbed one

of K. Rool"s mining carts.

Let"s go for a ride,
you big ape.

Cool.

What do you say, Dix?

You okay, Candy?

You sound funny.

Those miniature monkeys are

going to ruin
everything unless... Ah!

Ah, Klump!

Come on, Dix!

No!

No, wait!

Come back!

I was only trying
to scare "em off.

But you didn"t expect them to

take the cart, did you,
smarty pants?

What am I going to
report to King K. Rool?

Oh,
that you just botched his plan.

[Groaning]

But you certainly
haven"t botched mine.

[Laughing]

DIDDY: DK!

Check it out!

Candy?

What"s she doing riding around

with Diddy and Dixie?

What about the cruise?

[DISTORTED]: Let"s go for a

ride, you big ape.

Let"s... I knew
something wasn"t

right, Dids.

Make that two things, Dixie.

There"s no brakes.

We"re in a runaway cart!

Ah!

ROOL: You botched
my entire plan?

Well,
I... I wouldn"t put it that way.

But everybody else would.

Now how am I supposed to

secure the Crystal Coconut and

use its power to proclaim
my dominance over

Kongo Bongo Island?

You"re not.

What did you say?

You will never succeed.

♪ I like evil, lovely evil

♪ I like evil so much,
I could scream ♪

♪ There"s so much
joy in planning my next

diabolical scheme ♪

[Laughing]

♪ Look at all the weak fools not

caring an ounce ♪

♪ When they least expect it,

I"ll creep up and pounce,
yes, pounce ♪

You see, K. Rool, it"s no wonder

your plans never work for you.

♪ You must love evil,
delicious evil ♪

♪ My heart is blacker than

nightfall and then ♪

♪ You must be ruthless enough to

dislike and deceive
all your friends ♪

[Groaning]

♪ Look at all the hollow ones

sitting on the fence ♪

♪ Commit yourself to evil,

success is so intense ♪

♪ Intense ♪ I
like evil ♪ I like evil

♪ I love evil Evil.

I"ve salvaged your limp plan by

adding my own special touch.

I"ve rigged an explosive device

to the cart.

If the cart stops, boom.

If it stops, "Boom"?

Actually,
it"s more like "Boom!"

But Donkey Kong"s not even in

the cart,
just those two little kids.

You still don"t see the

genius of it, do you, huh?

Oh, never mind.

Let"s just go collect my Coconut,
Klump.

Your Coconut?

Any recollection of why I"m

referred to as "Krusha"?

[Nervous laughing]

You heard him, Klump.

Go get his... Coconut.

[Screaming]

Well, there goes Candy,

or whatever that was.

Huh?

Hey, Diddy, look.

What"s this thingamajiggy?

Whatever it is,
forget it, Dixie.

We have to find a way to stop

this cart if it"s the
last thing we do.

Well, what do you know?

Candy?

Are you finished with
your big emergency?

It was a false alarm.

You mean I missed the karaoke

cruise for a false alarm?

Maybe we can still make it.

Besides, the question now is are

you finished joyriding around

with Diddy and Dixie?

What are you talking about?

What matters is we"re together.

And nothing"s going
to come between...

Figures this is
where I"d find you.

Cranky, one false alarm"s

enough for one day.

Two fathead gators outside my

door, is that a false alarm?

Ooh, it"s for real!

I got to go!

And so do I!

Get your claws off that

Crystal, you reptilian rejects!

Out collecting reinforcements,
I gather.

Forget reinforcements.

Donkey Kong will
be here any second.

According to my calculations,

more precisely: four,
three, two, one...

Banana slamma!

Get your claws of that Crystal,

you reptilian rejects!

Such a shame you wasting

precious moments dragging your

knuckles about, harassing us,

when all the while, your friends

are riding around in a runaway

cart, with no brakes.

Diddy?

Dixie?

I have to stop that cart.

I don"t think you
want to do that.

There"s an
explosive device on it.

Stop the cart and, uhh, boom.

"Boom"?

Boom!

There, you see, Klump?

I had it all planned right down

to the last detail.

But you didn"t expect him to

take the Coconut,
did you, smarty pants?

[Groaning]

[Birds chirping]

There you are.

Shh!

Ooh, don"t shush me,
Donkey Kong!

And just what do you
think you"re doing?

Listening for the mine cart.

Diddy and Dixie
are in big trouble.

You"re in big trouble too.

I know.

I"ll make it up to you.

No, I mean the cart"s coming!

Look out!

[Thumping]

I got it, DK!

I got it!

We can"t stop!

Don"t stop!

Why "Don"t stop"?

Stop and they boom!

"Boom"?

A bomb?

A bomb, boom!

A boom, I mean!

Ah!

[Groaning]

Maybe you should
get off the tracks.

Hand over the Coconut,
you nitwits.

Yeah?

Blow it out your nose, newts.

There"s a bomb on your cart!

And there"s a bum in yours!

Diddy, he"s right.

That thingamajiggy... Is a bomb!

[Screaming]

We"ll never catch up to them

in time, Donkey Kong.

Just hang on, Candy.

And leave it to me.

Banana slamma!

Cruel twist of fate,
that underhanded,

double-crossing, ruthless lizard

Krusha has overthrown me, me,

King K. Rool, the most

underhanded, double-crossing,

ruthless lizard ever!

[Cart approaching]

Coming back to gloat, I suppose?

The Crystal Coconut!

Whoever possesses
it rules Kongo Bongo.

And it won"t be
Krusha if I can help it.

Come back with my Coconut!

Ah!

[Crashing]

Coveted orb of power now

within my very grasp.

I demand you stop this cart

immediately and... Ooh, cart,

bomb, stop, boom!

"Stop, boom"?

There they are, Donkey Kong.

We"re coming, little buddy.

[Crashing]

[Screaming]

Where"s Dix?

Over here, Dids.

You saved the Coconut!

Way to go, Dix!

Diddy!

A-ha, after that Coconut.

[Tires screeching]

Rats, lost them again.

What about King K. Rool?

If that bomb goes off... Oh,
quite whining.

He"s disposable.

The Coconut isn"t.

King K. Rool!

The bomb?

Ha, so what do you two think

of King Smarty Pants" plan now?

Krusha"s the smart pants,
not me.

Well, admittedly,
my stratagem has gone

slightly awry.

You mean your
plan ain"t working!

Huh, welcome to the club.

Regardless, it"s still more

ruthless and villainous than

K. Rool"s sissy undertakings.

"Undertakings"?

Ha,
now there"s a good choice of words.

Stop!

No!

Go!

Where"s DK?

What are we doing out here?

We have to go
right to Bluster"s.

"Bluster"s"?

What about Diddy?

The tracks will bring him out

sooner or later.

And we"ll be ready, I hope.

First, the Coconut.

Hey, Cranky!

Huh?

Throw it to him, Dixie.

Catch!

The Coconut!

DIXIE: Cranky,
get off the... [Thumping]

Tracks.

Sorry, Cranky, no time to stop.

Guard the Coconut.

Thanks.

We"re almost at Bluster's.

I think I know what you"re thinking,
DK.

It"s a long shot, Candy.

But it"s Diddy's only hope.

Will someone tell me?

No time, Dixie.

Just leave it to DK.

And Candy.

Ah!

Quick,
switch tracks back to the base.

[Tires screeching]

ROOL: Wait for me!

It"s time for me to now

demonstrate the sheer genius of

my incredibly superior intellect

by executing a brilliant new

plan that will allow me to do

the following: one, procure the

Crystal Coconut, two, do away

with those babbling baboons,

three, take over the world.

And, uhh, save King K. Rool

from being blown to tiny bits?

And save K. Rool from being

blown to tiny bits.

Ah!

What, Krusha?

What do we have to do?

Uhh, is today Tues-turday?

Oh!

You sure picked a fine time for

the light bulb to go dim,
you lunkhead.

I did?

You did.

It"s a pleasure to have you back,
soldier.

Now don"t just stand there.

Go save the king.

We"re going to the beach!

Tracks end at the beach!

If we hit the sand...

We"ll come to a dead stop!

[Crying]

Hold on, little buddy!

Bluster"s going to be steamed

we took his barrelcopter.

I"m going to be more steamed

if I crash it.

Little closer, DK!

Come back!

Don"t leave me!

Sorry, K. Rool, no more room!

Well,
I suppose I"ll just have to go boom.

[Panting]

[Tires screeching]

Huh, what do you know?

A dud.

Speaking of duds, even when

granted the gift of genius,

you"re still too empty-headed to

make a bomb that goes boom.

It"s boom-less!

Back to dumb and dumber.

[Explosion]

Huh?

So, look, Candy.

I know we missed
the karaoke cruise.

And it seems that we can"t spend

a moment together
without me running off.

♪ You"re in line
to be number one ♪

♪ And everyone"s
depending on you ♪

♪ I must admit it"s getting kind

of rough ♪

♪ Waiting round and
playing number two ♪

♪ I have particular needs

♪ So why"d I have
to fall for a hero? ♪

♪ There ain"t nothing in the

world that"s free ♪

♪ You sacrifice to
be all you can be ♪

♪ I ain"t used to
sitting round the tree ♪

♪ But he"s worth having if you

know what I mean ♪

♪ Sometimes,
I feel like I"m in the way ♪

♪ But I know he"s out there

saving the day ♪

♪ I have particular needs

♪ So,
why"d I have to fall for a hero? ♪

♪ I"m not so hard to please ♪

♪ So,
why"d I have to fall for a hero? ♪

♪ Hero,
hero ♪ Why"d I have to fall for

a hero? ♪

♪

♪