Doctor Who (1963–1989): Season 3, Episode 8 - Death of a Spy - full transcript

With Steven and Vicki being held prisoner by the Trojans, the Doctor's only hope of seeing them again is to suggest the idea of the Trojan Horse.

You heard, didn't you?

That was the name she called herself when we found her.

And she recognised him too.

Since he's a Greek, what more proof do you need that she's a spy?


Kill her!

Kill both of them!

No! No!

Guards! Sheath arms!

And since when have you given orders to the military?

I'm in command here!

Of everything except your senses!

I am at present officer commanding all Trojan forces!


And I will not tolerate interference from a
fortune-teller of notorious unreliability!

How... dare... you!

I am High Priestess of Troy!

All right then, get back to your temple

before you give us all galloping religious mania!

Oh really, father, I can't tolerate another
of her tedious tirades at the moment.

Father, do you hear him?

Yes, it's quite refreshing.

It seems there's a man lurking behind that
flaccid facade after all.

Really, father, I do wish you'd refrain from

patronising me in front of the prisoner.

The prisoner!

Oh, that's it - one pathetic prisoner and he thinks he's Hercules!

The success has gone to your head.

Just before you start sneering at this prisoner

perhaps you should know that his name is Diomede.

And if you look in the Greek army lists,
you'll see he's quite a catch.

Which none but you could have caught, O Lion of Troy.

What was that?

Well there you are, you see!

Right, go on, go on!

Tell them, Diomede!

We fought. I lost.

I am not ashamed.

There is none in all our ranks who could stand against

the wrath of Paris when he seeks revenge.

Ah, very good... very good, yes

There you are, you see

I'm treated with more respect by the enemy
than I am by my own family!


They don't know you as well as we do.

Perhaps better!

And perhaps the time has come for you to
start revising your opinions, sister.

You forget one thing

your prisoner and that girl have clearly met before.

Why won't you let me explain that?

It's really all quite simple...

Yes, I'm sure it is.

But Paris claimed Diomede here as a Greek prisoner.

And Cassandra claims that you are a Greek spy.

And a sorceress!

Yes, quite.

After all, you do claim to know the future.

Yes, but don't you see, that...

Hush, my child!

This war with the Greeks has been going on for ten long years!

And frankly, we're very bored with being penned up here.

Now if you are what you really say you are

as a pledge of good faith to us

you must either give me information that
will lead to our speedy victory...


...or use your supernatural powers...

to turn the tide of battle in our favour.

But... suppose I don't?

Suppose the Greeks win?

You will be burned!

As a sorceress, a false prophet, and a spy!

Well, as one of them, anyway.

But I have every confidence in you, Cressida.

And I will give you one whole day to
decide which to do.

One day?



Till tomorrow evening, to be precise.

Now if you have no objection

I think they ought to be taken away.

Oh yes, yes. I... I think that's all...

...very fair.

Where are they taking us?

To the dungeons.

Oh, don't worry, you'll find them quite comfortable.

I often spend an hour down too there myself

when I've got tired of things up here.

How long do you intend to keep us there?

Till you rot!

Oh, well really, Cassandra

though that may be true in your case, Diomede.

But I trust Cressida will join us before tomorrow evening.

Oh yes, yes right.

Guards! Take them away!

Well, Doctor - you have one day left.

What progress are you making?

Considerable! Here...

Now, you just take that for a moment.

Now, pay attention please.

What is it?

Well, what does it look like? A flying machine!

Looks like a parchment dart to me!

My boy makes these to annoy his tutors.


Since you're so familiar... with this project

then it's so much easier for me...

to talk to you. Come along, come along!

Now, of course you realise that, erm

we can build a much larger one

capable of carrying a man. Hmm?

Mmm, I suppose so. What good would that be?

Oh think, my dear Odysseus - a whole fleet of them!

Carrying a company of soldiers over the walls and into Troy. Mmm?

Mmm, how would, er, we get them into the air?



That sounds like a vulgar oath to me!

I must try it on Agamemnon. Catapults!


The catapult is, er, well, you could make one for yourself out of strips of ox hide.

And secure both ends, and then stretch it out like a bow-string, hm?

I see.

Then you, er, pour water over it

let it dry in the sun

and what happens then, mm?

It begins to smell!

Never mind that. It shrinks!

Now, allow me to demonstrate.

You place the flying machine thus

as you would an arrow in a bow, and...

...let it go.

What happens?

The machine flies in the air with a soldier clinging to its back!

Yes, well here's one soldier who's doing nothing of the sort!

Agamemnon, then.

That might be quite an idea.

Thank you, I thought you'd like it.

Agamemnon wouldn't do it, though.

Oh? Why not?

He'd object most strongly.

We'll have to think of someone else.

Well, anyone could do it, for that matter

I mean even a child could operate it.

I'm very glad to hear you say that, Doctor

because I intend to build this flying machine.

Excellent, excellent!

And you shall have the honour of being
the first man to fly!

If you hadn't called me Vicki

we wouldn't be here now.

You called me by my name first!

Only because I was surprised to see you

I can't think why you disguised yourself as a Greek, anyway!

I disguised myself so that I could rescue you!

You succeeded beautifully.

Thanks, "Diomede".

Oh look, be fair!

How was I to know that you'd manage to get round King Priam?

You might have guessed.

I know how to take care of myself!

Why couldn't you have disguised yourself as a Trojan?

It would have been far more sensible.

Because I haven't got a Trojan uniform.

If you're so clever at looking after yourself

you'd better start thinking of a way to get out of here

and fast!

What do you mean - fast?

Yesterday, the Doctor was given two days to capture Troy

and if I know him, he'll probably succeed.

Well that's all right then, we shall be rescued.

Rescued? You'll be lucky!

Look, may I point out that in the one day that the Doctor now has left

you have to think of a way of saving the city and defeating the Greeks!

Oh... I hadn't thought of it like that.

Oh, well, you'd better start.

Because I don't think Cassandra's going to wait...

until the city falls before she gets rid of you!

Paris wouldn't let her do that, neither would Troilus.


Paris's younger brother.

He likes me - I like him.

I don't think that's going to matter much when the city starts to burn.

Now, come on, start thinking!

It's you against the Doctor now.

Oh, Steven, what can we do to stop him?

Do you know what he was planning?

Oh, I've no idea.

I suggested the wooden horse, he...

he said that was something Homer made up.

What was that?

Some fool throwing stones at us.

Probably stirred up by Cassandra.

Except for her, they were all quite friendly to me...

Vicki! It's the Cyclops!


The servant of Odysseus!

Look, Cyclops... can you understand me?

Tell them... tell them that I've found our other friend.

Yes? That they mustn't attack Troy...

That's it, the city... they mustn't attack Troy until the day after tomorrow...

uh-huh... otherwise we'll both be killed...

This girl and I. You understand?

Glad he thinks that's funny.

Tell... tell the old man...

Cressida, what's going on?

Oh, Troilus!

What are you doing?

Ah, nothing, just watching Ste, er

Diomede examining those things in there.

What are you doing up there?

Just admiring the view.

It's a very handsome square out here.

Perhaps, but you're supposed to sit in your cell and be quiet.

You weren't talking to him, were you?

You're not supposed to.

No, I was... just watching.

I brought you some food.

Oh, thank you! I though I'd been forgotten.

You can, erm, tell me what's going on while I eat.

I'm not allowed to talk to you.

Why not?

I'm on duty.

Can't you even...

I'm sorry, Cressida, but I must obey orders.

Mm, this is very good.

Would you like some?

Go on... try some.

Well actually I... I have already eaten.

Will you keep still?

I'm thinking.

Well think sitting down!

Now you said your plans were ready.

I've got half a company of men standing by to make this machine of yours.

Dismiss them then.

What? You have very little time left, Doctor!

Oh, I'm quite well aware of that, but er

I'm afraid this machine isn't going to work.

You mean you're too frightened to fly it yourself.

No, no, no, it isn't that, not at all!

I've made a mistake in my calculations.

A mistake?

Mm. Yes, yes, I'm afraid we must face up to it, Odysseus

er, man was never meant to fly.

Wasn't he now? Well that seems to me a great shame.

Now if your machine won't work, Doctor, I propose to fly you without it.

Oh? What do you mean?

Simply this

That my catapult is ready, and it seems a great pity to waste it.

Now you have failed me, therefore you are expendable

I propose to fire you over the walls of Troy!

Ah, but I have another idea

...and a much better one!

It had better be. Well?

Have you ever thought of a... a horse, hmm?

Is that supposed to be funny?

It should be a huge horse, about forty foot high.

What good would that be?

We build it hollow and we fill it with soldiers

and leave it on the sandy plain for the Trojans to capture it, hmm?

And... and it's just possible that the Trojans

will come out and take the horse back into their city!

And the Greeks pretend to sail away, mm?

Ah, yes, that's quite an idea, Doctor!

No, of course not

it was just that Cassandra went on so about your being a witch!

And you thought I might put a spell on you?

Well no, of course not - I'd like to see you try it...

you're not a witch, are you?

Of course not. Do I look like one?

Well, no, but... then I've never met one.

Look here, I shouldn't be talking to you like this.

And what are you laughing at?

Well you're not in the war, are you?

You're far too young!

I'm seventeen next birthday!

Well, that's hardly any older than me!

You shouldn't be killing people at your age.

Well... between you and me, I...

I don't honestly enjoy killing at all.

But I love adventure.

Yes, I know what you mean.

Well, what is this idea of yours?

Well, it's all perfectly simple!

Nonsense! Show them the plans, Doctor.

It's quite revolutionary!

There, what do you make of that?

Er, well it's, erm, a horse...

Isn't it?

Well done, Menelaus.

But what sort of horse, that's the point.

Ah. Er, well...

A big horse.

Exactly! A very big horse.

Is this some sort of joke?

The horse is at least forty foot high!

Oh, but horses don't grow as big as that - do they?

I mean, even the Great Horse of Asia that the Trojans worship...

Now you're beginning to get to the point.

Horses don't grow that high.


The Great Horse of Asia does not exist

therefore we are going to build one for the Trojans as a sort of present.

Mm hmm, go on.

We build it of wood, and we build it hollow.

Then we fill it with a picked team of soldiers.

Well... then what do we do?

You take to the ships and sail away...

Oh! make the Trojans think you've all gone.

Excellent! Now, that is a good idea!

You all come back again, of course, hm!

Why is there always a catch in it?

None of this must happen before nightfall, hmm?

Now Achilles will take his Myrmidons and hide out upon the plain.

I thought you said the best warriors'd be in the horse?

So they will be.

I shall be there with my Ithacans.

My Ithacans, and the Doctor, of course.

That wasn't part of the plan!

It is now - I've just thought of it.

I'm standing no more nonsense from you, Doctor.

That will not be necessary!

I shall only get in the way!

You'd better not do that.

Now the rest is up to the Trojans.

They see that we have gone.

They see their Great Horse upon the plain

which has descended from heaven to drive us away.

Then they drag the horse into the city.

Mmm, are you sure? Suppose they set fire to it?

Oh, well, that is a calculated risk

but somehow I don't believe they'll want to destroy one of their own gods.

Yes, but once they have the horse inside, won't they close the gates?

Of course they will! But during the night

we shall leave the horse, open up the gates to let you all in again.

What more do you want?

A drink!

There, I've finished. That was lovely.

Then, er, I... I'd better go, I've...

I've stayed here far too long as it is already.

Oh but, er, aren't you going to take some food to Diomede?


Well, perhaps he's hungry too.

But he's a Greek.

He deserves to be hungry.

Well, perhaps so, but, eh... you can't let him starve!

He won't starve!

The guards will throw him a scrap or two later on.

Well, that's a very nice attitude, I must say!

Look here, is this Diomede a particular friend of yours or something?

A very good friend, yes!

Well I don't see how you can be friends with a Greek!

Oh, look, Troilus, when you...

come from the future you make friends with a lot of people

and he's one of them.

I see. But he's not in any way special?

No! Why do you keep on?

Well, because that's what I was...

I mean, that's what the others were worried about.

Oh... er, yes, well, all right, er,

you can tell them to... stop worrying... and let us out.

Yes, yes I will.

But I don't suppose anyone will take any notice.

Well, do your best anyway.

Naturally! I'll let you know what happens.

Perhaps I can come back later on

if there's any news, that is.

Well, you know where to find me, don't you?

I mean I don't expect I shall be going out or anything.

I suppose not. Well...

goodbye for the present then... Cressida.

Goodbye, Troilus.

You ought to be ashamed of yourself!

I don't see why!

At least I've done something towards getting us out of here

which is more than you have.

And what chance have I had?

Anyway, I though he was rather nice.

Oh, you made that painfully obvious!

And I think you might at least have had the decency

to have saved me some food!

Oh! Thanks.

The guards are sending you some scraps later, Troilus said so.

Hmm! Troilus!

You know, Steven, I think I could get to be...

quite happy here in time.

I hate to remind you, but time is the one thing we just haven't got.

But you said you'd sent a message to the Doctor!

Yeah, well I think I have. It's hard to tell with the Cyclops.

In any case, your new boyfriend came in before

I'd finished telling him everything.

Well, let's hope he did understand.

Yeah. And let's hope he got out of Troy safely.

Otherwise we're in trouble.

Halt! Halt or I shoot!

Identify yourself.


Who... are... you?

Oh confound you, why did you have to do that?

The poor little fellow probably never meant any harm!

Well, now we shall never know who he was.

Well, Doctor, that's a warhorse and a half for you.

That's something like a secret weapon.

Better than half a dozen of your crack-brained flying machines.

Yes, I... I only wish I shared your confidence.

Well, what's the matter with you?

Have you no faith in your own invention?

No, no, Odysseus, it isn't that, but I just didn't like the look of those fetlocks.

They... no safety margin at all.

Well, they haven't got to last forever

after all, we're not building one of the wonders of the world, are we?

As long as that horse gets us into Troy

it can collapse into a mare's nest for all I care!

Er, suppose it collapses whilst we're all in it, hmm?

Then we shall all look very foolish indeed.

Yes, and I've no wish to be made a laughing stock!

Not another word, Doctor!

To coin a phrase, you are coming for a ride!

I told you strong-arm tactics wouldn't work.

Odysseus! Come here, quickly!

What is it now, Doctor?

Upon my soul, you're making me as nervous as a Bacchante at her first orgy.

Why don't you try and get some sleep?

I've never felt less like sleep in my life!

I thought I, er, saw some movement down there.

I hope you did.

That's the whole point of the operation, is it not?

Pretty lot of fools we'd look if we...

come here and nobody takes a damned bit of notice of us.

I think I ought to warn you that I've given

second thoughts to the whole of this scheme

and... I think it better we turn round and go back before it's too late.

Get out of my way

Now look, Doctor, will you be still?

I suggest, Doctor, that if you cannot sleep... you start counting Trojans.

Here they come, now.

Cressida! Cressida, wake up!

You must come quickly!

What's the matter?

The Greeks have gone!

What do you mean?

Well the whole fleet has sailed, and now there's not one to be seen

they've all gone home! The war's over!

Are you... are you... sure that...

Are you sure they've all really gone?

Well Paris has gone out now to make sure, but what else can it mean?

Well, come and see for yourself!

Are you releasing me?

Well, naturally!

Father's terribly pleased with you!

Oh, it was nothing to do with me!

Well, he thinks it was, and that's the main thing.

He saying that you've brought us luck as he always said you would.

Cassandra's furious about it

she hates you more than ever now.

Oh dear.

Oh, that doesn't matter, she's completely discredited.

If even the end of the war can't cheer her up

she's not worth bothering about.

Well come on, father wants to thank you himself!


Oh, um, what about Diomede?



Yes, what about Diomede?

Do you think you can fight the whole of Troy on your own?

I don't want to fight anybody.

Well that's just as well. You're the last of the Greeks now.

Your friends have all sailed home without you.

Well come on!

Absolute silence, everyone.

Yes, but I... I...

That includes you, Doctor!

Well, this time... Troy will be destroyed!

Come on in, Cressida!

Come in, both of you!

Has Troilus told you the news?

Yes, it's marvellous, isn't it?

I'm so pleased.


I should just say you are. You did it!

Oh, yes you did

I don't know how, but that's your own business, I suppose.

Now why on earth couldn't you tell us this was going to happen?

You would have saved yourself all those hours in the cells

and us a great deal of worry.

She didn't tell you because it's some form of treachery.

Don't trust her, father!

Oh, stuff and nonsense!

Oh, go and feed the sacred serpents or something.

If you can't be pleasant at a time like this

Cassandra, I don't want to see y...

Oh, Paris! Have the Greeks really gone?

Every last one of them, or so it seems!

There you are, Cassandra, I told you so.

Oh, do for goodness sake, smile!

But... more important

I think I've just found the Great Horse of Asia!

You've done what?

Something uncommonly like it, anyway.

What on earth are you talking about?

The Great Horse of Asia!

Standing all by itself in the middle of the plain

about forty foot high and made of wood!

Whereabouts in the middle of the plain?

Near the Grecian line. Look!

You can just see it from here.

Great heavens!

I do believe you're right! It is the Great Horse of Asia!

It's an omen. An omen of disaster.

It is the Trojan Horse! But I thought...

What was that?

Yes, ask her! Go on, ask her!

She knows what it is! It's our doom!

It's the death of Troy, brought upon us by that cursed witch!

Now understand me, Cassandra

I will not have one word said against that horse!

And neither will I against Cressida!

Will you not?

Then woe to the House of Priam.

Woe to the Trojans!

I'm afraid you're a bit late to say 'whoa' to the horse!

I've just given instructions to have it brought into the city.