Doctor Who (1963–1989): Season 2, Episode 22 - The Lion - full transcript

The TARDIS lands in the Holy Land during the Third Crusade and the crew help save Richard the Lionheart from an ambush, but Barbara is captured and brought before Saladin.


No, not yet. One of them may be the king.
Follow them and listen to them.


We are the only day and night for you, hunter.

I wish that I were a hawk, sire,
and Saladin my prey.

There's a subject for our actors.
Tell the Chamberlain this, de Marun.

I will have the players call the entertainment
"The Defeat Of Saladin, Sparrow Of The East".

Well, it will help us to pass
these weary, waiting nights at Jaffa.

- Here's a man devoted to his work.
- A beautiful thing, but it has a stubborn streak.

The clasp is faulty
and needs hot fires to make it pliable.

Perhaps I should ride with craftsmen
and leave my knights at home.

(MAN) Your Majesty...

- No, des Preaux, I will not fight today.
- Or do you mean to slay us all?

And eat us!

- I've heard sounds in these woods.
- What sort?

- Let him speak!
- I fear this wood.

You're too far from Jaffa,
and the Saracens too near.

- Have you seen any?
- No, but I sense them about us.

This wood was maybe designed for ambush.

What, des Preaux? Would you see danger
in your own shadow?

I have put the brothers de l'Etable
with the horses, sire,

and all is ready for the return to Jaffa,

if Your Majesty desires to go.

We will stay here, until, William the Wary,
you recover your composure (!)

And, I hope, your sense of humour!

- I'll just take a look around.
- Yes, yes.


Good afternoon!

What is all this? Who is he?
Why did he attack you?

I don't know. I didn't stop to ask him.

Where are we?


It sounds to me as if he's got some friends.

(VICKI) But who is he?
(DOCTOR) Come away, child.

Out of one trouble, into another!


Where's Barbara? Barbara!

(IAN SHOUTS) Barbara!




Someone's coming. Hide.



Saracens, I am the king!

I am Malek Ric!

No! You have no friends
to protect you now, Malek Ric.

Am to die as well?
If so, dispatch me and have done with it.

A king at liberty may give commands.
A captured one obeys them.

Take him!

Find the others and kill them.


It's all right, old chap.
I have my friend here to thank for my life.

- Are you all right?
- Yes, I'm all right.

That Saracen very nearly did for me.

Of course!
Did you hear what that man called him?

Malek Ric.

That was the name the Saracens had
for King Richard C?ur de Lion - Malek Ric.

So we're in the Holy Land?


(VICKI) He's trying to say something.
(DOCTOR) He's got a bad wound.

(MAN) He was not the king.

The belt... Get the belt.

This belt?

This belt!

Wait a minute...

Of course, yes. I remember.

This belongs to his royal master. King Richard.

He'll certainly be glad to get this back again.
We should be able to get into his favour.

- We need some assistance to find Barbara.
- We can't wait that long, Doctor.

- I'm going to have another look for her.
- Be careful!

(IAN SHOUTS) Barbara!


(DOCTOR) Did he take the drug I gave you?

- Yes, but he's unconscious again.
- He'll be better when he's with his own people.

- You've been gone over an hour!
- Are you all right?

There's no sign of Barbara anywhere.

As I said before,
we must get some help from King Richard.

This certainly belongs to him.

You're right, but how are we
going to set about it?

Well, at the moment, we can do nothing further
until I find some clothes for us to wear.

Yes... I think Vicki and I should go down
into that city and see what we can find.

Now, here, child. Put on this cloak
and it will help to act as a disguise.

I'll gather some branches
and make a stretcher for him.

Be careful. And keep your eye on that.

Come along, child.

I will do you no harm.

Thank heaven they've taken that gag away.

I'm so thirsty.

I do not know who you are.

Or how you came to be in the wood outside Jaffa.

Your clothing is strange. It has caused some talk.

Thank you for the cloak.

Oh, that's better.

- Where are we?
- I am told that we are at Ramlah.

- Ramlah?
- The great Sultan's encampment.

Oh, I see.

- What are we doing here?
- As for you, I can make no guess.

I am King Richard C?ur de Lion,
leader of the mighty host, scourge of the infidel.

- I thought Richard had red hair.
- Had?

(QUIETLY) Still has if the ruse has worked.

Oh, then, you...

I am Sir William des Preaux,
captured and mistaken for my king.

Some smiles will turn to long faces soon,
I have no doubt.

- I heard you fighting in the wood.
- We were outnumbered and taken by surprise.

What happened... er... to the others in the wood?

I do not know.

Maybe I shall never know.

But I have a hopeful heart,
and, which is better, a lucky king.

And you, who will not say her name...



I would like to know how one so gentle
puts herself among the swords and arrows.

And your garments are a fashion in themselves.

Take me back to that wood
and I'll answer your questions.

- You ask for the impossible very lightly.
- Is it so impossible?

Today it is.

What am I to say of you to the heathen?

How can I explain you to them?

Well, to them, you're King Richard,
so who would travel with Richard?

The queen would not, but the princess...

Yes, you shall be Joanna, my sister,
and help me in my lies.

Very well. I seem to have gained
a brother and a title.

- And a friend.
- I'm grateful for that.


Remember, you are Joanna.

Salah ed-Din has commanded
that all prisoners be treated with compassion.

- Do you think I have complied with his wishes?
- The Sultan of Egypt would be pleased.

- But this lady, my sister...
- Sister?

Aye. Joanna. Princess of England,
and closest to me in affection.

My sister has been ill-treated.

- Is this the compassion Saladin speaks of?
- Enough of your babbling.

- The woman is all of one piece.
- Woman? Hold your tongue, Saracen!

We shall call her a prisoner, then.
Does that sound better?

You have no rights, no privileges,
nothing except the benevolence of our leader.

That you are the king's sister
bodes well for me.

I can serve both the Sultan and Malek el Adil.

- Saphadin?
- As you call the Sultan's brother, yes.

He will be pleased to see the woman
he has so long admired.

Let him go. He's a lion without claws (!)

Someone is going to have
a very red face before long.

And an angry temper.

Silks. Satins. Fine robes.

Rich silks. Satins from Basra.

Fine robes. Silks. Satins.

The finest robes in Jaffa.

Silks! Satins!

Fine robes. Rich silks.

Fine satins. The finest robes in Jaffa!

My lord...

- You are from Pisa, my lord?
- No.

- Genoa, then?
- I know of the place well.

You are very cautious, you traders from Venice.

I am not a Venetian, neither am I a trader.

Your pardon, my lord. The richness
of your cloak is hidden by the darkness.

- You have some very fine materials.
- The finest on the coast, my lord!

- That's what they all say!
- Please step into my humble shop.

(DOCTOR) Remarkable!
All the colours of the rainbow.

Where did you say these were from?

- Basra, my lord.
- Basra? Ah! Most interesting.

Be more careful when you come here.

Wait till the place is empty.

They're all good.
I want more than you paid last time.

- Such clothes are difficult to sell.
- Just give me my money.

I am afraid I may sell them
to whoever you took them from.

(MAN) A good price is all I ask.

Having been stolen once,
they can be stolen again,

or perhaps borrowed, shall we say, hm?

Here, that's not enough.
It was dangerous work getting them things.

You know the king's punishment for thieves.

I'd be shorn like a prizefighter, and boiling pitch
poured on me head! And as for you...

You DID get out of the palace
without being seen?

Of course I did. I can go elsewhere next time.

- And get less.
- I couldn't get any less than what you give me!

It was hard work getting around the palace.

I spend all my time getting this money,
and you do nothing.

As you paid nothing for them
in the first place, you have done very well.


My lord... My lord?

I was sure that he would buy from me.

I could have sworn that he hadn't left.

(SHOPKEEPER WAILS) No! My beautiful clothes!

They're ruined! All covered in mud!

My silks and satins!

My embroidery from India!

Oh, I am beset by devils!

(DOCTOR) Oh, my poor friend.

- What a misfortune!
- Am I not the most miserable of men?

Yes, you are, but I'm afraid
I must leave you with your misfortune.

But I shall return.
You shall not be the loser by this visit.

- Please do, my lord.
- Thank you.

- For what, my lord?
- For being here.

For being here when you are most needed.

- Goodbye, my lord.
- Goodbye. And long live the Sultan.

- Speak, El Akir.
- My lord, I bring good fortune,

not only for your ears,
but for he who rules over us as well.

My brother hears you as I do.

I would see his face when I tell my story.

Be content that your voice is heard.
If my brother likes what you say, you will see him.

I, El Akir, have the instrument to vanquish
the invaders from across the seas.

(SAPHADIN) Indeed?

(EL AKIR) I have taken two prisoners -
one of them, the king of the English, Malek Ric.

Malek Ric?!

If you are speaking the truth...

The lion is in our cage.

Good fortune indeed, El Akir.

The other, a priceless stone
I bring to lay before you as your heart desires.

The sister of the Malek Ric,
here for your command.

- Princess Joanna.
- No less.

Less than less!

Who is this creature?

This rowdy jackal that yaps at my feet
with tales of fortune and success!

- But, my lord...
- Ah!

You vile worm.

Do you think I do not know the face and form
of the princess? You take me for a fool?

(EL AKIR) You tricked me!

Be silent.

This is not King Richard.

A blacker head of red-gold hair I never saw.

You have the better bargain, brother.
Her beauty lights the room.

- I swear...
- I do not wish to hear you.

But I will listen to YOU.

I am William des Preaux.

To aid my king's escape,
I shouted out his name and took his identity.

This lady has no part in this matter
but in aiding my pretence.

Look upon her kindly,
whatever fate you have for me.

I salute your chivalry. All is now clear to me
except the lady's presence.

Great Sultan, this woman can entertain you.

I can have her dance on hot coals,
run the gauntlet of sharp-tipped swords...


...die for your pleasure!
- What do you say to that?

- It sounds like the punishment for a fool.
- It does.

And who here is the most foolish?

El Akir, I can devise my own pleasures.

Go with Sir William. Treat him like a brother.
Let him have all liberty except liberty itself.

Are you afraid of me?


You're not of these lands,
yet you seem to be a stranger to Sir William.

I'm a traveller.

I came with three friends. We arrived in the wood.

- You rode into the wood?
- No.

- You walked into it?
- Not that either.

- You arrived?
- Yes.

In a box.

In a box? Ah, you were carried into the wood?


Please talk.

It helps me to consider
what I have to do with you.

Well, I could say that I'm from another world.
A world ruled by insects.

And before that, we were in Rome
at the time of Nero.

Before that, we were in England,
far, far into the future.

- So you are players. Entertainers.
- With little value

in an exchange of prisoners
with the English king! This is a trivial affair.

- Why do you waste your time?
- I cannot dispense life and death lightly.

If Sir William is to be returned,
he must make good report of our mercy.

Perhaps that is the factor in your favour.

- I don't believe you're as calculating as that.
- Then learn more of me.

You must serve my purpose,
or you have no purpose.

Grace my table tonight
in more suitable clothes.

If your tales beguile me,
you shall stay and entertain.

Like Scheherazade.

Over whose head hung sentence of death.

Right! Enough!

(RICHARD) This is the devil's own embrocation.


And so these kindly people, whose faces were
like hidden in a mist until the moment passed,

saved my life and brought me here.

Good friends indeed. We thank you.

The brothers de l'Etable are dead,
de Marun dead, des Preaux taken.

What have I left but one wounded friend
and a sore head?

One small thing remains yours, sire.

Once again, I am in your debt,
but I'd give this for de Marun and the others.

My friends cut down about my ears or stolen.

My armies roust about the streets

and clutter up the streets of Jaffa
with the garbage of their vices.

And now I learn my brother John
thirsts after power,

drinking great draughts of it,
though it's not his to take.

He plans to usurp my crown and trades
with my enemy, Philip of France. Trades!

A tragedy of fortunes,
and I am too much beset by them.

A curse on this! A thousand curses!

- (QUIETLY) We must ask him.
- I'm not sure this is the time.

- He's not in the best of moods.
- We can't wait for his moods!

Gently, my boy. Gently.

Your Majesty...

There were four of us in that wood.

- One of our companions was a lady...
- Do not bother me with such things now!

I am asking you to send me
with an escort to Saladin's headquarters.

- What will you do there?
- Arrange for the release of our friends.

- As my emissary to Saladin?
- Yes.

- What, flatter him?
- It would be of little use, a player king

and a young woman, sire.

- No.
- I can bring them both back.

- No.
- Why not?

Are you deaf? We do not trade with Saladin
today, nor any day henceforth.

Our young friend is a woman.

- Let us help her.
- Please, Your Majesty.

Understand this!

This woman can rot in one of Saladin's prisons
until her hair turns white

before I'll trade with the man
that killed my friends!