Doc Martin (2004–…): Season 3, Episode 1 - The Apple Doesn't Fall - full transcript
Martin deals with the case of a young girl who has been acting out. When Louisa Glasson mentions Ritalin to the mother, Martin tries to point out that she is not qualified to give that kind of advice. A new police constable, Joe Penhale, arrives in Portwenn but seems to have a peculiar medical condition. Martin's aunt Joan has a car accident and Louisa faints while teaching a class. Pauline is bored with being a receptionist and desperately wants to give out medical advice so Martin has a proposal for her.
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LOUISA: Once upon a time,
in a kingdom far, far away,
a prince arrived to
search for the princess
he was destined to marry.
The prince was handsome,
charming, and fearless.
[Horn honks]
[Dog barks]
With his faithful
hound at his side,
the prince journeyed
for days on end.
He fought dragons,
wizards, and goblins.
And just when he
thought all hope was lost,
he finally arrived at the castle
where the princess
was imprisoned.
The prince climbed the
hill to free the princess...
before she...
before...
[Children screaming]
Stand aside.
CHILD: Look.
Louisa?
Martin.
What happened?
Are you all right, miss?
Yes. Yes, I'm fine.
I'm fine, thank you.
I just felt a bit faint.
I just didn't drink
enough water,
and we should all
drink lots of water
when it's hot, shouldn't we?
I'd like to check you
over. Come to the surgery.
No, no, I've got to take
this lot back to school.
Louisa, I think your health
is a little more important
than whether they're
late for face painting
or whatever the next lesson is.
Martin, these
children are in my care.
I can't just abandon them.
Well, when can you come?
Hmm.
How about this evening?
Unless you've got plans.
Plans? No.
Mm. Good, okay.
Everybody, if you
want to stand up.
And could somebody
pick up my book?
Thank you.
Now, Isaac, Henry,
you can stay at the front,
and Otis and Drew at the back.
Stay in your pairs.
Okay? Mind the cars, please.
In your pairs, please.
[Pounding]
ALISON: The headmaster
says she's a disruptive influence,
but just because
she won't sit down
and keeps walking
out the classroom
doesn't mean she's spoiling
it for the others, does it?
If she's bored at school,
they should give her
something more interesting to do.
- Shouldn't they?
- Stop that.
Hey! You don't
tell her what to do.
When she's in my surgery,
I tell her exactly what to do.
Is your daughter actually ill?
- You're the doctor.
- Yes, I am.
And I'm hoping that
you're going to describe
some kind of medical symptom.
She's always doing
stuff, never settles.
Would you call that
a medical symptom,
her being restless all the time?
No, I'd call that being
restless all the time.
Leave that alone!
She's been off school all week.
Sick?
Suspended.
She damaged a couple
of the teachers' cars.
She didn't mean to.
She was just jumping around
on top of them for a laugh.
Well, that's very funny, but,
again, not a medical symptom.
She never used to be like this.
When Delph was at junior school,
she got certificates
for being good.
You ask Miss Glasson.
Bet you've got her number.
I have patients to see.
This consultation's over.
But you haven't told me
what's wrong with her yet.
She's very annoying.
BERT: You heard from Al?
PAULINE: Not for
a while. A month.
Me neither.
Not one phone call,
not one postcard.
I don't even know
where the bugger is.
[Door slams]
I could give you an
appointment Thursday.
- I'd rather see him now.
- What's wrong?
It's personal.
Oh.
- It's nothing like that.
- Like what?
What you're thinking.
Just try and slip
me in next, eh?
I'll only be five minutes.
Okay, I'll ask the doc.
Oh, that's a love.
ALISON: I can't
believe your attitude.
If and when your
daughter requires a doctor,
as opposed to a policeman
or probation officer,
I'll be happy to see her.
But in the meantime, I
have real sick people to see.
- But I...
- Goodbye, Mrs. Lane.
It's not "Mrs." I'm divorced.
I'm not surprised.
[Door opens, closes]
Get off there now!
Morning, Doc.
- Go away.
- Oh, don't be like that.
Doc, I think I've
got depression.
Or maybe it's that bipolar
thing that you read about.
I'm not going to discuss your
mental health in my kitchen.
Well, haven't you got some
drugs you can give me?
Or maybe should I
try that therapy thing?
Pauline, does Bert
have an appointment?
He was gonna ask if
you'd see him anyway.
- Take him away and find a slot.
- Now?
Yes. I want you both
out of my kitchen now.
- JOAN: Only me.
- Oh, God.
I brought your fish
kettle back, Martin.
But I said I'd
come and pick it up.
- Why are you limping?
- I'm not.
Only because you've
stopped walking.
I'm fine.
Haven't you any patients to see?
Quite a few, actually.
- Coffee?
- No time, Bert.
Come on, boy. It's all right.
No. Get that dog out
of here. It's not a zoo.
Ray's my guide dog.
I'm blind.
Yes. Um, right. Take a seat.
No, no. No, no. No. No.
Mind the coffee. Over here.
That's it.
Over here. There's
a chair there.
All right. Now back, back.
- That's it.
- Sit.
Right. Now, what seems to
be the problem, Mr. Cleary?
- [Ray growls]
- My big toe.
Very painful.
- Which foot?
- Right.
[Growls]
Sorry.
He gets a bit protective.
[Growling continues]
[Inhales sharply]
Aah!
[Ray barks]
[Breathing heavily]
It's gout.
Dr. Sim used to say it was gout.
That's because it was gout.
[Footsteps
approaching, door opens]
Right. This way.
No. No, no, no, no. No.
- No. No, no.
- [Ray growling]
Here. I'll take the dog.
Give me the dog.
Right. That's it. This way.
- Come on.
- Aah!
Oh. Careful.
Come on. That's it.
Here.
Right. Here, take your dog.
Take your dog. There
it is. There. Right.
I'm putting your prescription
in your breast pocket.
Next patient, please.
Mrs. Tyson. Mrs. Tyson!
Right through here.
You all right, Mr. Cleary?
Not really, no.
He's given me this.
Indo-something.
I don't know what it does.
"Indomethacin."
Do you want me to look
it up on the computer?
- Have you really got time?
- I've got six hours to kill.
Have a seat. Come on.
[Children shouting indistinctly]
[Shouting continues]
Alison... what's the problem?
I'm sorry, Miss
Glasson. It's not my fault.
I thought I turned the ovens
on this morning, but I forgot,
so nothing's cooked yet.
And that not your fault because?
I'm sorry.
But it's Doc Martin you
should blame, not me.
Why? What's he done?
I went to see him this morning,
and not only did I
have to wait for ages,
but when he finally did see me,
he wouldn't even look at Delph
or tell me what to do to
stop her being so mental.
Oh, I don't think you can
say that she's mental, Alison.
Jumping around
on teachers' cars?
Yes, well, I did hear about
that, and I was very surprised.
She was such an angel
when she was here.
Well, that's what I
was trying to tell him.
But would he listen to me? No.
Typical bloody man.
He said she weren't ill,
but if she's running around
like a nutter all the time,
there must be something wrong.
You may well be right,
but at the moment,
I am very worried about
these kids out there.
So give them bread,
give them salad,
but give them
something to eat, Alison.
DOC MARTIN: Hello?
Hello?!
What are you doing?
Trying to work
out if you're dead.
Well, I'm not.
Thanks for asking.
You looked unconscious.
I was thinking.
With your eyes shut and
your head slumped over?
There's no law against that.
And I'm a police officer,
so I know that's true.
How many fingers
am I holding up?
What's it to you?
I'm a doctor.
Really?
So, uh...
you work 'round here?
Yeah, I'm the G.P.
So you'll know
who's ill, who's faking,
who's been stabbed or shot?
Yes, people come to
me if they've been injured.
Then I think we
should have a talk.
Of course we should have a talk.
I just found you unconscious
at the wheel of your police car.
Come and see me today.
- Well, I'm not sure...
- This afternoon.
Okay.
Did you eat any
breakfast this morning?
Just a cup of tea.
Have you passed out before?
Um, not for a long time.
- You tired?
- A bit.
But, then, I have had
quite a few late nights.
Nothing exciting.
Just been working.
Not, um, clubbing
or anything else.
Hmm.
I think you might
be a little anemic.
I'll take some blood.
Why would I be anemic?
Uh, heavy periods?
What?
Or perhaps you're premenstrual.
No, I'm not.
Is there, um...
any chance that you're pregnant?
How could I be pregnant?
Are you saying you're not?
Yes.
Good. I mean, right.
You know, I'm not very happy
talking to you about
this kind of thing.
Why not?
Because, Martin, you're
asking me questions
that are completely
inappropriate.
I'm your doctor.
Yes, but you're also...
you know.
You're also...
You know, you and me... We're...
We've got some kind of...
Shall I just change my
surgery and go to Wadebridge?
That's up to you.
Right.
That's what I'll do, then,
because everything's
always up to me, isn't it?
You never do anything or say
anything to help us move on.
We just go 'round
and 'round in circles.
[Door closes]
Louisa?
Joe.
My God! How are you?
I'm great, thanks.
I haven't seen you since...
When was the last time?
Ages. Five, six years.
Are you visiting, or...
I'm working here.
Portwenn's my patch now.
Are we having two policemen?
No, no. P.C. Mylow's gone.
Career break.
Last I heard he was training
to be a plumber in Poland.
[Women laughing]
Any of them prossies on drugs?
Uh, they're not... prossies.
Oh, really?
And I suppose I'm not...
I suppose I'm not...
Joe?
Joe?
What?
Are you okay?
[Chuckling] Fine,
thanks. Yourself?
I better get home.
Husband waiting
for his tea, is he?
I'm not married.
Oh. Boyfriend?
No, not really.
Too busy with all the kids?
I haven't got any kids.
At your school. I thought
you were teaching.
Sorry. Yes. Yes, I am.
I'll see you later.
See ya.
[Clears throat]
- Can I help you?
- P.C. Penhale.
I'm here for Dr. Ellingham.
Is he in trouble?
No.
He's just a witness, then.
To what?
Whatever crime it is
you're investigating.
I'm not here in connection
with any ongoing inquiries.
What do you want to
see the doc for, then?
I'm afraid I can't divulge
that kind of information.
Oh, I do work here, you know.
Are you the receptionist?
Might be. Why?
'Cause I've just taken
over from Mark Mylow,
and I need to put
names to faces fast.
Who exactly are you?
Pauline.
I'll remember that.
Pauline.
Now, if you'll excuse me...
Where is he?
Hello.
Why didn't you knock?
Not my style.
Take a seat.
We didn't do the
formalities before.
Police Constable Joseph Penhale.
Dr. Ellingham.
M.B. B.S., F.R.C.S.
I saw that on the
plaque outside.
Yeah. Very observant.
Got to be in my game,
especially now I'm the new
neighborhood beat manager.
Ahh.
Right.
Sorry if we got
off to a bad start.
Obviously, with you
being the local medic,
I want to make sure we
have a relationship that's, uh...
mutually beneficial,
if you get my drift.
I don't. What do you mean?
- Hello?
- Hello.
Are you going to
answer my question?
What question?
Do you often get very tired?
I'm on the job 24/7.
You were asleep in your car.
You ever fallen asleep
when you're talking or eating?
No.
Well, now and then
when I'm eating.
And when I'm speaking sometimes.
If you laugh or get angry,
do you ever feel like
the muscles in your neck
can't support your head?
It's happened once or twice.
I thought it might be whiplash.
No. No, it's something else.
Any luck?
Afraid not. No.
I mean, when Al was with me,
I could just about cope
with this sort of job, but now...
You didn't think he'd
stay forever, did you?
Why not?
What's the rest of the world got
that you can't find in Portwenn?
[Chuckles]
It's a bit early
for that, isn't it?
Want a glass?
Don't mind if I do.
I mean, one minute
Al is begging Pauline
not to go as far as Bristol,
and then the next, he's
planning a trip to a rainforest.
I mean, if you wanted rain,
you could go to Newquay, right?
[Laughs] Right.
Kids.
I mean, nonstop grief
from start to finish.
You'll find out
what they're like
when you have some yourself.
Not that you seem
to want a family.
What?
Well, I thought you decided
not to have some of your own.
I want kids. I
want lots of kids.
Well, when?
Um, when I've
found the right man.
Narcolepsy?
DOC MARTIN: Mm.
It's a neurological disorder
marked by a sudden, recurrent,
uncontrollable
compulsion to sleep.
Before it started happening,
did you suffer any
kind of head injury?
Why?
Cranial traumas can set
off this kind of condition.
Perhaps you fell over
or crashed your car.
- Kicked in the head?
- That will do it.
It was a couple of years ago.
I was trying to nick
this farmer near Bude.
Some mix-up with his TV license.
He wouldn't come quietly,
so I start to put the cuffs on.
He runs out into the yard.
I chase after him, trip
up, fall under his horse.
When I wake up, the paramedic
tells me he's kicked
me in the head.
The horse, not the paramedic.
I'm covered in blood.
The wife started
complaining after that,
saying I was acting weird.
Why? What did you do?
Nothing.
But she kept banging
on about my mood swings
and me forgetting
everything and...
my mood swings.
We're not together anymore.
Uh, well, I can give you
something to keep you awake.
[Door opens]
Thank you, Doctor.
Penhale...
until you start the course of
treatment, you are not to drive.
- But I got to...
- Good.
I got a problem.
You're not allowed to drive.
No, not that. This.
If I walk into the local
drugstore, hand this over,
word might get around I'm sick.
Some of the local villains
might think I'm not up to the job.
Portwenn might become an
even bigger hot spot, crime-wise.
Is there any chance
you could help me out?
You want me to get
your prescription for you?
- That'd be great, thanks.
- Sorry, I don't do that.
If you ever get
a parking ticket,
I could make it disappear.
I don't drive.
Do you want a shotgun license?
No.
Well, how about 10 quid?
Yeah, okay.
Right-a-lin.
To be honest, I'm not
even sure I'll be taking it.
- Why not?
- I stay away from drugs.
"Just say no."
There's a difference between
something on prescription
and something
you get off a dealer.
It's a slippery road
from aspirin to crack.
I'm not sure how this
Ritalin might affect me.
I got 10 minutes. I
can tell you all about it.
MAN ON RADIO:
3021 from Middlemoor.
Come in.
3021 receiving. Go ahead.
Someone's locked his keys
in his car down by the Platt.
Can you assist? Over.
I'm on my way. Show me dealing.
I'll check that info later.
[Sea gulls squawking]
MRS. TISHELL: And you're
not taking any other medication?
And you don't
suffer from asthma?
- PAULINE: Hello, Ms. Lane.
- ALISON: Pauline.
Well, what can I
do for you, Alison?
Uh, actually, you go next.
Oh, you were first.
No, I don't mind waiting.
PAULINE: I've got to
order these supplies.
- I'm not in a hurry.
- Nor I.
Oh, for God's sake.
I'll come back later.
Come on, Delph.
I think she's got some
kind of thyroid imbalance,
which might explain
her weight problem.
No wonder she's... Um...
No wonder what?
No, nothing.
Let's have a look at
that list, then, shall we?
[Horn honks, brakes squeal]
Delph.
Delph.
Delph!
Delph, what do you
think you're doing?!
Delph!
What?
It's just so dangerous.
Oh, she always doing it.
She's gonna kill herself.
I keep trying to tell her,
but will she listen to me?
And now she's not at school.
I can't be expected to
watch her all the time.
Has her school
mentioned anything to you
about assessing her for ADHD?
ADHD. What's that?
It's attention deficit/
hyperactivity disorder.
Is that what she's got?
Well, it's not for
me to say, really.
No. That's Doc Martin's job.
And he couldn't
be arsed. I told you.
He pushed me out that door
before I could get
a word in edgeways.
Maybe you could tell
him how bad Delph's got.
- Me?
- He'll listen to you.
- Possibly.
- Oh, thanks.
If it is ADHD, what
can the doc do, exactly?
Well, there's drugs, I think.
Yeah, like Concerta or Ritalin.
They just slow kids down a
bit. Helps to them concentrate.
Oh, that's what
Delph needs, drugs.
[Vehicle approaching]
Oh, be careful!
Delph! Oh!
- Be careful, Delph!
- Delph!
[Horn honks]
[Knock on door]
Louisa.
Uh, come in.
Thanks.
Have you, uh, registered
in Wadebridge yet?
No, no. Not yet.
But I'm not here
to talk about me.
Um, Alison Lane's
daughter, Delph.
Fat girl, bolshie mother.
Alison is very upset.
She's worried there's
something wrong with Delph,
and I'm worried there's
something wrong.
I'm sure Delph's gonna
do herself a serious injury.
I can't discuss my patients.
All right.
Well, if a young girl
came to see you with
extreme hyperactivity...
Possibly even ADHD...
Would you prescribe
her something like, um,
Concerta or Ritalin?
- What, just like that?
- Yes.
- No.
- And why not?
Any kind of behavioral disorder
requires a careful assessment.
It needs a thorough and
specialized examination
and a well-considered
treatment plan.
And I'm sorry. I
cannot discuss...
I saw Delph riding
around on the roof of a van
going at about 30 miles an hour.
How she didn't fall off and
kill herself I really don't know.
Have a seat, Louisa.
It's easy to forget that
some children are just bad.
Sorry?
There's a fine
line, isn't there,
between those that actually
require medical intervention
and those children that
are simply very naughty.
When I was a child,
if I misbehaved,
my father just gave
me a slap with his belt.
Or a table-tennis bat.
Or both sometimes.
Right, and you don't
think that's had any...
[Knock on door]
- Evening, Doc.
- What do you want?
I wanted another word
about my depression.
What?
I've been thinking
about my life as a whole,
and I just wanted to ask a
few more questions, that's all.
LOUISA: I'd best get going now.
Why is it exactly do you think
that I'm unhappy all the time?
[Laughing] I mean, I
know that's a hard one.
No, it isn't.
You're lonely, bored,
unloved, and past your prime,
if you ever had a prime.
Well, I thought you were
going to cheer me up.
How?
Well, with a few
words of wisdom.
I mean, do you think I need
a new challenge in my life?
You know, something to focus on
now that AI's left
me in the lurch?
Quite possibly.
Oh, so what you're saying
is I do need a new challenge.
Maybe shift my life into
a whole new direction.
[Chuckles]
In other words, I should
give up the plumbing.
Thank you, Doc. [Laughs]
I'll see myself out.
[Inhales sharply]
Um, how are you feeling today?
Okay, thanks.
Did you have some breakfast?
- Yes, I did.
- Good.
Hm.
Oh!
Ray?
Ray, where are you?
[Tires screech]
[Car alarm blares]
WOMAN: Look at this, George.
JOE: How fast were you going?
Oh, I don't know, Constable.
But I certainly wasn't speeding.
Maybe you're just
too old to be driving.
How dare you?
- You all right?
- Sorry, Doctor.
Do you mind not
talking to the suspect
until I've concluded
my inquiries?
She's not a suspect.
She's my aunt.
Well, in that case,
we'll say no more.
How's that with you, Doctor?
Is your leg hurting?
Yes. And my
back's killing me, too.
[Inhales sharply]
DOC MARTIN: Mm-hmm. Right.
Now, the good news is your
victim, Mr. Cleary, is blind,
so he won't know it was
you that tried to kill him.
He walked out in front
of me. Wasn't my fault.
- It wasn't my fault, either.
- I didn't say it was.
Good. Because it wasn't.
Now, the bad news...
Your back pain.
I'm afraid it's due
to osteoporosis.
I'm gonna send you for a scan.
That is precisely why I didn't
come here in the first place.
It doesn't hurt. It's
a dual-energy X-ray.
It just measures your
bone mineral density.
I'll have to waste an entire day
sitting 'round
some ghastly clinic.
Well, if you'd like to end
your life bent double in agony
with your limbs
snapping like twigs,
then we can
forget all about this.
I'll have the stupid scan.
Mm. Good.
I'm gonna give you some stupid
hormone replacement as well.
Why?
Because that's what
I'm prescribing you.
Martin.
The estrogen will slow
down your bone loss
and promote bone formation.
Right. Thank you.
Next time you have a problem,
come see me straightaway.
Only if you stop treating
me like one of your patients.
You are one of my patients.
- [Ray growling]
- Are you ready for me now?
No, I'll tell you when.
You know that Right-a-lin you
prescribed for P.C. Penhale?
Ritalin.
Ritalin, then.
I was looking it
up on the Internet.
Pauline, can I suggest that
rather than surfing the Web,
that you order the latex
gloves and tongue depressors
that I asked for two weeks ago?
Oh, yeah. Mrs. Tishell rang.
They're ready for collection.
So, why haven't
you collected them?
I forgot.
I was reading
about this Ritalin,
and there's nothing says
you give it to grown-ups
to keep them awake.
How dare you?
I don't pay you to check
up on my prescriptions.
What you pay me to do is boring.
I want to be stretched.
Is there anything else
you can give me to do
apart from answering the
phone and making appointments?
And forgetting to
collect my supplies.
Yeah. What else can I do?
You can mind your own business.
Try it.
- Is the doctor in?
- PAULINE: I'm afraid so.
Well, I need to
see him right away.
Actually, I think I'm next.
Are you in pain?
A little. Yeah.
In a hurry?
No, not really, but
I've been waiting...
Well, I need to be at
work in five minutes,
so I'll go in front
of Mr. Cleary.
DOC MARTIN: What's going on?
Why is Ms. Lane
reorganizing my diary?
Can I have Mr. Cleary's
notes? He's the next patient.
- ALISON: He's not.
- Wait a moment.
Not yet.
Patients do not come into this
surgery without my invitation.
And yet here I am.
[Sighs]
I take it this is
about your daughter.
I got rung up by the
school this morning.
They want Delph to
go in there on Monday
for an interview with an
educational psychologist.
On Monday!
And?
And you need to
give me some drugs
to stop her from
jumping around the room.
You need to give me
some of that Ritalin.
Who told you about Ritalin?
- Was it Miss Glasson?
- I'm not saying.
Has Delph got ADHD?
Not in my opinion.
If I did think she had
ADHD, all I could do
would be to refer her
to a child psychologist,
where she would be tested.
She would be
assessed by specialists.
- Before Monday?
- Well, of course not.
But I need something
straightaway.
If the school thinks
she's normal on Monday,
they won't throw her out.
Until she starts jumping
on teachers' cars again.
Well, maybe she won't.
Maybe it's just a phase.
Acne is a phase.
That child needs taking in hand,
something you have
clearly failed to do.
It's not my fault!
She never used to jump on cars.
In fact, up until
two months ago,
it was all I could do to stop
her playing with a Nintendo
for hours on end.
Now she won't even
concentrate on anything
for more than a minute.
Well, perhaps if you had stopped
her playing on her Nintendo
and encouraged her
to take some exercise,
then she wouldn't have
put on so much weight.
What are you feeding her?
Why? What's that got
to do with anything?
Because diet often has a huge
bearing on children's behavior.
I have not come here
to talk about my cooking!
No, you have come to
ask me to sedate your child
so you can pretend
she's a good little girl.
She is a good little girl!
There's nothing
little about her.
You mean she's fat?
Yes.
And I suppose you
think that I am fat.
Yes.
We can be as fat as
we like, Delph and me.
You tosser!
[Door slams]
DOC MARTIN: Mr. Cleary!
You can go in now, Mr. Cleary.
Thank you.
You okay, Mrs. Lane?
He wouldn't help me. I
know he could if he wanted.
Go through. Careful.
Mr. Cleary's notes.
I already gave them to you.
These aren't them.
Must be on your desk, then.
Find them.
This way.
No. No, Mr. Cleary. This way.
[Door closes]
I don't even know what happened.
You walked in front of a car.
But why did Ray run away?
He obviously
needs more training.
[Growls]
Bad dog.
[Barks]
Well, nothing's broken.
You should be fine as
soon as the gout clears up.
[Sniffs]
What's in your parcel?
Mackerel.
You shouldn't be
eating mackerel.
It's full of purines.
Bad for the gout.
Pauline said I
should eat more fish.
Oh, did she?
More fish.
Fruit and vegetables,
but especially fish.
Not that sort of fish.
She didn't specify.
Oh, didn't she?
[Ray barks, door opens]
I just told him what
it said on the website.
Which website was this...
"I Keep Forgetting I'm Just
a Receptionist" dot-com?
If anyone has a medical
problem, refer them to me.
I'm the doctor.
[Softly] Yeah. And
I'm just a receptionist.
What?
- Ooh!
- Sorry.
I think you squashed
my ciabatta.
- Really?
- Yep.
There's prawns everywhere, and
I've got mayonnaise all over me.
Uh, no. No, no.
- No, you're all right.
- Right. Thanks.
Can I buy you a new sandwich?
No, I'll just eat this
one with a spoon.
Right.
Actually, the reason
I had to get this
was because Alison Lane was
late again for work this morning.
Nothing was ready.
She said she'd been to
see you. Everything okay?
Yes. I understand
you've been talking to her
about the benefits of Ritalin.
Yes, yes, I may have
mentioned something.
But I have had pupils
that have been prescribed
drugs for their behavior.
I've seen what Ritalin
can do for kids like...
Louisa, it's bad enough
that I have a receptionist
second-guessing
my every diagnosis
without you joining in as well.
I'm just trying to help.
So am I.
Mrs. Tishell.
Oh, Doc. Sorry.
You have my tongue depressors.
Do I?
And latex gloves.
Oh, yes.
Oh, now, where did I put them?
Oh!
Oh, I'm sorry, Doc.
- I am in a bit of a tizzy.
- All right.
I've just had that Alison
Lane in here just now.
Oh, she gave me
a very hard time.
- Uh-huh.
- No.
She wouldn't believe me
when I said I had all
my diet pills on display.
Kept asking for
something stronger.
Mrs. Lane was in here asking
for appetite suppressants?
Yes. Oh.
Bingo. [Breathes deeply]
Has she bought
them from you before?
Yes, she bought them
a couple of months ago.
Sorry.
Thank you.
[Thudding, car alarm blaring]
Oi!
Get off my car!
[Woman gasps]
Delph?
Dial 999 and get an ambulance.
MAN: Is she okay, Doc?
Do you need any help?
Just get back. She
needs air. Plenty of air.
- WOMAN: Sorry, you lose.
- [Telephone rings]
Portwenn surgery.
Right. Done that.
Ambulance is on its way.
Look at all that blood.
Ugh! When's it due?
Oh. They didn't say.
Go and ask.
Oh.
Got your bag, Doc. [Gasps]
- [Vomits]
- Doc?
You all right?
All right.
I'll roll you over.
[Grunts]
All right, I need
an artery clip.
What's it look like?
Looks like a pair of
pliers with scissor handles.
Um...
All right, you
hold... You take that.
Can you get a...
Right. Can you open that?
Wait. Stand back, stand back.
- Have you called an ambulance?
- Of course we have.
ALISON: Excuse me. Excuse me.
Coming through. Out of the way.
Oh! [Gasps] Oh, my God.
- Delph.
- She'll be all right.
Did you give your
daughter diet pills?
What?
The pills you got
from Mrs. Tishell.
Cheap diet pills
cause hyperactivity.
I didn't give her
any diet pills.
[Siren wailing]
[Voice breaking] I-I did
gave her some Ritalin.
What? How much?
Just a couple of
pills this morning.
I thought they'd calm
her down, but they didn't.
Where did you get them from?
I saw some on your
desk, Paul. Sorry.
WOMAN: Excuse me.
I wouldn't have taken
them if you'd given me some.
Multiple lacerations to the
head, neck, chest, and arms.
I put a clip on the brachial
artery. She'll need an I.V.
Give her some colloid
and watch her B.P.
WOMAN: Wait.
Steady.
That's it.
Oh, I thought she was
gonna die. Didn't you?
No. You left Ritalin
on your desk.
Actually, it was you who
left the pills on my desk.
- No, it wasn't.
- You took them off me.
Then you put the bottle down
when you went to
deal with Mrs. Lane.
- You're wrong.
- You did!
It still looked full, so I
gave them to P.C. Penhale.
You haven't heard
the last of this.
I want a word with you.
Let me guess. "You're fired."
That's two words.
But I am, though, aren't I?
That is so unfair. I told you...
Phlebotomy.
- What?
- Phlebotomy.
I don't know what that means.
You clearly don't have a
problem dealing with blood.
I want you to go on this
course. It's in Truro next week.
They'll show you
how to find a vein,
how to insert a
needle into a patient,
and how to draw
blood for analysis.
I'll tell you who to bleed.
But you'll be in charge
of the actual bleeding.
Bleeding. [Chuckles]
Oh, my God.
How much more money
are you gonna pay me?
- What?
- It's a promotion, isn't it?
- Well, sort of.
- I should get more money, then.
What about so many
pounds per blood sample?
That'd be fair, wouldn't it?
Say, £10 a test
tube, plus a bonus
if I do it quicker than
you were expecting.
- [Door opens]
- Can I wear a white coat?
[Door closes]
[Footsteps approaching]
[Knocking]
Martin. Sorry it's late.
No, no. Come in.
I've brought someone to see you.
DOC MARTIN: Oh, you.
How's your daughter?
She's all right.
LOUISA: And what did
they say at the hospital?
They said she would be
dead if it weren't for you.
Yes, that's right.
Alison...
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Alison was worried
about coming to see you.
She said you might be
angry, so I said that I'd...
Come and protect her.
- I'm sorry I stole the Ritalin.
- So am I.
But if you'd given me
some when I asked...
LOUISA: Alison.
Listen, your daughter is
nearly an adolescent, not a child.
She reacted to the Ritalin
in the same way
that an adult would.
It stimulated her.
Added to the fact that
she was already strung out
on diet pills, wasn't she?
I told you no.
Hmm. You did.
- Are you calling me a liar?
- Yes.
For your information,
the diet pills were for me.
All right?
Although I suppose she
could have nicked some.
Oh, God.
Well, I suggest
you lock them up.
Or find an alternative
method of weight loss.
Such as?
Keep your mouth shut.
And it's time to go.
She really is very grateful.
Can I stay here?
Of course you can.
No, I promised to
take Alison home.
I meant, can I stay
at the surgery...
as your patient?
You want me to be your doctor?
I want you to be my... doctor.
Yeah.
What changed your mind?
I don't really know.
Do you think...
What?
Do you think I'm anemic?
I can find out, but I wouldn't
worry about it at this stage.
But I do worry.
- Do you?
- Yes.
- What about?
- Everything.
I worry about what
I'm doing with my life.
Well, I'm sure that's
not uncommon.
Well, do you worry
about your life?
Well, I tend not to
dwell on those things.
I try and keep busy, really,
with work and my hobby.
Your clock.
Mm. I've nearly
finished this one.
Then what?
Hmm.
Perhaps it'll be time
for something new.
I hope so.
Good.
Yes.
[Door opens, closes]
Subtitling made
possible by Acorn Media
possible by Acorn Media
LOUISA: Once upon a time,
in a kingdom far, far away,
a prince arrived to
search for the princess
he was destined to marry.
The prince was handsome,
charming, and fearless.
[Horn honks]
[Dog barks]
With his faithful
hound at his side,
the prince journeyed
for days on end.
He fought dragons,
wizards, and goblins.
And just when he
thought all hope was lost,
he finally arrived at the castle
where the princess
was imprisoned.
The prince climbed the
hill to free the princess...
before she...
before...
[Children screaming]
Stand aside.
CHILD: Look.
Louisa?
Martin.
What happened?
Are you all right, miss?
Yes. Yes, I'm fine.
I'm fine, thank you.
I just felt a bit faint.
I just didn't drink
enough water,
and we should all
drink lots of water
when it's hot, shouldn't we?
I'd like to check you
over. Come to the surgery.
No, no, I've got to take
this lot back to school.
Louisa, I think your health
is a little more important
than whether they're
late for face painting
or whatever the next lesson is.
Martin, these
children are in my care.
I can't just abandon them.
Well, when can you come?
Hmm.
How about this evening?
Unless you've got plans.
Plans? No.
Mm. Good, okay.
Everybody, if you
want to stand up.
And could somebody
pick up my book?
Thank you.
Now, Isaac, Henry,
you can stay at the front,
and Otis and Drew at the back.
Stay in your pairs.
Okay? Mind the cars, please.
In your pairs, please.
[Pounding]
ALISON: The headmaster
says she's a disruptive influence,
but just because
she won't sit down
and keeps walking
out the classroom
doesn't mean she's spoiling
it for the others, does it?
If she's bored at school,
they should give her
something more interesting to do.
- Shouldn't they?
- Stop that.
Hey! You don't
tell her what to do.
When she's in my surgery,
I tell her exactly what to do.
Is your daughter actually ill?
- You're the doctor.
- Yes, I am.
And I'm hoping that
you're going to describe
some kind of medical symptom.
She's always doing
stuff, never settles.
Would you call that
a medical symptom,
her being restless all the time?
No, I'd call that being
restless all the time.
Leave that alone!
She's been off school all week.
Sick?
Suspended.
She damaged a couple
of the teachers' cars.
She didn't mean to.
She was just jumping around
on top of them for a laugh.
Well, that's very funny, but,
again, not a medical symptom.
She never used to be like this.
When Delph was at junior school,
she got certificates
for being good.
You ask Miss Glasson.
Bet you've got her number.
I have patients to see.
This consultation's over.
But you haven't told me
what's wrong with her yet.
She's very annoying.
BERT: You heard from Al?
PAULINE: Not for
a while. A month.
Me neither.
Not one phone call,
not one postcard.
I don't even know
where the bugger is.
[Door slams]
I could give you an
appointment Thursday.
- I'd rather see him now.
- What's wrong?
It's personal.
Oh.
- It's nothing like that.
- Like what?
What you're thinking.
Just try and slip
me in next, eh?
I'll only be five minutes.
Okay, I'll ask the doc.
Oh, that's a love.
ALISON: I can't
believe your attitude.
If and when your
daughter requires a doctor,
as opposed to a policeman
or probation officer,
I'll be happy to see her.
But in the meantime, I
have real sick people to see.
- But I...
- Goodbye, Mrs. Lane.
It's not "Mrs." I'm divorced.
I'm not surprised.
[Door opens, closes]
Get off there now!
Morning, Doc.
- Go away.
- Oh, don't be like that.
Doc, I think I've
got depression.
Or maybe it's that bipolar
thing that you read about.
I'm not going to discuss your
mental health in my kitchen.
Well, haven't you got some
drugs you can give me?
Or maybe should I
try that therapy thing?
Pauline, does Bert
have an appointment?
He was gonna ask if
you'd see him anyway.
- Take him away and find a slot.
- Now?
Yes. I want you both
out of my kitchen now.
- JOAN: Only me.
- Oh, God.
I brought your fish
kettle back, Martin.
But I said I'd
come and pick it up.
- Why are you limping?
- I'm not.
Only because you've
stopped walking.
I'm fine.
Haven't you any patients to see?
Quite a few, actually.
- Coffee?
- No time, Bert.
Come on, boy. It's all right.
No. Get that dog out
of here. It's not a zoo.
Ray's my guide dog.
I'm blind.
Yes. Um, right. Take a seat.
No, no. No, no. No. No.
Mind the coffee. Over here.
That's it.
Over here. There's
a chair there.
All right. Now back, back.
- That's it.
- Sit.
Right. Now, what seems to
be the problem, Mr. Cleary?
- [Ray growls]
- My big toe.
Very painful.
- Which foot?
- Right.
[Growls]
Sorry.
He gets a bit protective.
[Growling continues]
[Inhales sharply]
Aah!
[Ray barks]
[Breathing heavily]
It's gout.
Dr. Sim used to say it was gout.
That's because it was gout.
[Footsteps
approaching, door opens]
Right. This way.
No. No, no, no, no. No.
- No. No, no.
- [Ray growling]
Here. I'll take the dog.
Give me the dog.
Right. That's it. This way.
- Come on.
- Aah!
Oh. Careful.
Come on. That's it.
Here.
Right. Here, take your dog.
Take your dog. There
it is. There. Right.
I'm putting your prescription
in your breast pocket.
Next patient, please.
Mrs. Tyson. Mrs. Tyson!
Right through here.
You all right, Mr. Cleary?
Not really, no.
He's given me this.
Indo-something.
I don't know what it does.
"Indomethacin."
Do you want me to look
it up on the computer?
- Have you really got time?
- I've got six hours to kill.
Have a seat. Come on.
[Children shouting indistinctly]
[Shouting continues]
Alison... what's the problem?
I'm sorry, Miss
Glasson. It's not my fault.
I thought I turned the ovens
on this morning, but I forgot,
so nothing's cooked yet.
And that not your fault because?
I'm sorry.
But it's Doc Martin you
should blame, not me.
Why? What's he done?
I went to see him this morning,
and not only did I
have to wait for ages,
but when he finally did see me,
he wouldn't even look at Delph
or tell me what to do to
stop her being so mental.
Oh, I don't think you can
say that she's mental, Alison.
Jumping around
on teachers' cars?
Yes, well, I did hear about
that, and I was very surprised.
She was such an angel
when she was here.
Well, that's what I
was trying to tell him.
But would he listen to me? No.
Typical bloody man.
He said she weren't ill,
but if she's running around
like a nutter all the time,
there must be something wrong.
You may well be right,
but at the moment,
I am very worried about
these kids out there.
So give them bread,
give them salad,
but give them
something to eat, Alison.
DOC MARTIN: Hello?
Hello?!
What are you doing?
Trying to work
out if you're dead.
Well, I'm not.
Thanks for asking.
You looked unconscious.
I was thinking.
With your eyes shut and
your head slumped over?
There's no law against that.
And I'm a police officer,
so I know that's true.
How many fingers
am I holding up?
What's it to you?
I'm a doctor.
Really?
So, uh...
you work 'round here?
Yeah, I'm the G.P.
So you'll know
who's ill, who's faking,
who's been stabbed or shot?
Yes, people come to
me if they've been injured.
Then I think we
should have a talk.
Of course we should have a talk.
I just found you unconscious
at the wheel of your police car.
Come and see me today.
- Well, I'm not sure...
- This afternoon.
Okay.
Did you eat any
breakfast this morning?
Just a cup of tea.
Have you passed out before?
Um, not for a long time.
- You tired?
- A bit.
But, then, I have had
quite a few late nights.
Nothing exciting.
Just been working.
Not, um, clubbing
or anything else.
Hmm.
I think you might
be a little anemic.
I'll take some blood.
Why would I be anemic?
Uh, heavy periods?
What?
Or perhaps you're premenstrual.
No, I'm not.
Is there, um...
any chance that you're pregnant?
How could I be pregnant?
Are you saying you're not?
Yes.
Good. I mean, right.
You know, I'm not very happy
talking to you about
this kind of thing.
Why not?
Because, Martin, you're
asking me questions
that are completely
inappropriate.
I'm your doctor.
Yes, but you're also...
you know.
You're also...
You know, you and me... We're...
We've got some kind of...
Shall I just change my
surgery and go to Wadebridge?
That's up to you.
Right.
That's what I'll do, then,
because everything's
always up to me, isn't it?
You never do anything or say
anything to help us move on.
We just go 'round
and 'round in circles.
[Door closes]
Louisa?
Joe.
My God! How are you?
I'm great, thanks.
I haven't seen you since...
When was the last time?
Ages. Five, six years.
Are you visiting, or...
I'm working here.
Portwenn's my patch now.
Are we having two policemen?
No, no. P.C. Mylow's gone.
Career break.
Last I heard he was training
to be a plumber in Poland.
[Women laughing]
Any of them prossies on drugs?
Uh, they're not... prossies.
Oh, really?
And I suppose I'm not...
I suppose I'm not...
Joe?
Joe?
What?
Are you okay?
[Chuckling] Fine,
thanks. Yourself?
I better get home.
Husband waiting
for his tea, is he?
I'm not married.
Oh. Boyfriend?
No, not really.
Too busy with all the kids?
I haven't got any kids.
At your school. I thought
you were teaching.
Sorry. Yes. Yes, I am.
I'll see you later.
See ya.
[Clears throat]
- Can I help you?
- P.C. Penhale.
I'm here for Dr. Ellingham.
Is he in trouble?
No.
He's just a witness, then.
To what?
Whatever crime it is
you're investigating.
I'm not here in connection
with any ongoing inquiries.
What do you want to
see the doc for, then?
I'm afraid I can't divulge
that kind of information.
Oh, I do work here, you know.
Are you the receptionist?
Might be. Why?
'Cause I've just taken
over from Mark Mylow,
and I need to put
names to faces fast.
Who exactly are you?
Pauline.
I'll remember that.
Pauline.
Now, if you'll excuse me...
Where is he?
Hello.
Why didn't you knock?
Not my style.
Take a seat.
We didn't do the
formalities before.
Police Constable Joseph Penhale.
Dr. Ellingham.
M.B. B.S., F.R.C.S.
I saw that on the
plaque outside.
Yeah. Very observant.
Got to be in my game,
especially now I'm the new
neighborhood beat manager.
Ahh.
Right.
Sorry if we got
off to a bad start.
Obviously, with you
being the local medic,
I want to make sure we
have a relationship that's, uh...
mutually beneficial,
if you get my drift.
I don't. What do you mean?
- Hello?
- Hello.
Are you going to
answer my question?
What question?
Do you often get very tired?
I'm on the job 24/7.
You were asleep in your car.
You ever fallen asleep
when you're talking or eating?
No.
Well, now and then
when I'm eating.
And when I'm speaking sometimes.
If you laugh or get angry,
do you ever feel like
the muscles in your neck
can't support your head?
It's happened once or twice.
I thought it might be whiplash.
No. No, it's something else.
Any luck?
Afraid not. No.
I mean, when Al was with me,
I could just about cope
with this sort of job, but now...
You didn't think he'd
stay forever, did you?
Why not?
What's the rest of the world got
that you can't find in Portwenn?
[Chuckles]
It's a bit early
for that, isn't it?
Want a glass?
Don't mind if I do.
I mean, one minute
Al is begging Pauline
not to go as far as Bristol,
and then the next, he's
planning a trip to a rainforest.
I mean, if you wanted rain,
you could go to Newquay, right?
[Laughs] Right.
Kids.
I mean, nonstop grief
from start to finish.
You'll find out
what they're like
when you have some yourself.
Not that you seem
to want a family.
What?
Well, I thought you decided
not to have some of your own.
I want kids. I
want lots of kids.
Well, when?
Um, when I've
found the right man.
Narcolepsy?
DOC MARTIN: Mm.
It's a neurological disorder
marked by a sudden, recurrent,
uncontrollable
compulsion to sleep.
Before it started happening,
did you suffer any
kind of head injury?
Why?
Cranial traumas can set
off this kind of condition.
Perhaps you fell over
or crashed your car.
- Kicked in the head?
- That will do it.
It was a couple of years ago.
I was trying to nick
this farmer near Bude.
Some mix-up with his TV license.
He wouldn't come quietly,
so I start to put the cuffs on.
He runs out into the yard.
I chase after him, trip
up, fall under his horse.
When I wake up, the paramedic
tells me he's kicked
me in the head.
The horse, not the paramedic.
I'm covered in blood.
The wife started
complaining after that,
saying I was acting weird.
Why? What did you do?
Nothing.
But she kept banging
on about my mood swings
and me forgetting
everything and...
my mood swings.
We're not together anymore.
Uh, well, I can give you
something to keep you awake.
[Door opens]
Thank you, Doctor.
Penhale...
until you start the course of
treatment, you are not to drive.
- But I got to...
- Good.
I got a problem.
You're not allowed to drive.
No, not that. This.
If I walk into the local
drugstore, hand this over,
word might get around I'm sick.
Some of the local villains
might think I'm not up to the job.
Portwenn might become an
even bigger hot spot, crime-wise.
Is there any chance
you could help me out?
You want me to get
your prescription for you?
- That'd be great, thanks.
- Sorry, I don't do that.
If you ever get
a parking ticket,
I could make it disappear.
I don't drive.
Do you want a shotgun license?
No.
Well, how about 10 quid?
Yeah, okay.
Right-a-lin.
To be honest, I'm not
even sure I'll be taking it.
- Why not?
- I stay away from drugs.
"Just say no."
There's a difference between
something on prescription
and something
you get off a dealer.
It's a slippery road
from aspirin to crack.
I'm not sure how this
Ritalin might affect me.
I got 10 minutes. I
can tell you all about it.
MAN ON RADIO:
3021 from Middlemoor.
Come in.
3021 receiving. Go ahead.
Someone's locked his keys
in his car down by the Platt.
Can you assist? Over.
I'm on my way. Show me dealing.
I'll check that info later.
[Sea gulls squawking]
MRS. TISHELL: And you're
not taking any other medication?
And you don't
suffer from asthma?
- PAULINE: Hello, Ms. Lane.
- ALISON: Pauline.
Well, what can I
do for you, Alison?
Uh, actually, you go next.
Oh, you were first.
No, I don't mind waiting.
PAULINE: I've got to
order these supplies.
- I'm not in a hurry.
- Nor I.
Oh, for God's sake.
I'll come back later.
Come on, Delph.
I think she's got some
kind of thyroid imbalance,
which might explain
her weight problem.
No wonder she's... Um...
No wonder what?
No, nothing.
Let's have a look at
that list, then, shall we?
[Horn honks, brakes squeal]
Delph.
Delph.
Delph!
Delph, what do you
think you're doing?!
Delph!
What?
It's just so dangerous.
Oh, she always doing it.
She's gonna kill herself.
I keep trying to tell her,
but will she listen to me?
And now she's not at school.
I can't be expected to
watch her all the time.
Has her school
mentioned anything to you
about assessing her for ADHD?
ADHD. What's that?
It's attention deficit/
hyperactivity disorder.
Is that what she's got?
Well, it's not for
me to say, really.
No. That's Doc Martin's job.
And he couldn't
be arsed. I told you.
He pushed me out that door
before I could get
a word in edgeways.
Maybe you could tell
him how bad Delph's got.
- Me?
- He'll listen to you.
- Possibly.
- Oh, thanks.
If it is ADHD, what
can the doc do, exactly?
Well, there's drugs, I think.
Yeah, like Concerta or Ritalin.
They just slow kids down a
bit. Helps to them concentrate.
Oh, that's what
Delph needs, drugs.
[Vehicle approaching]
Oh, be careful!
Delph! Oh!
- Be careful, Delph!
- Delph!
[Horn honks]
[Knock on door]
Louisa.
Uh, come in.
Thanks.
Have you, uh, registered
in Wadebridge yet?
No, no. Not yet.
But I'm not here
to talk about me.
Um, Alison Lane's
daughter, Delph.
Fat girl, bolshie mother.
Alison is very upset.
She's worried there's
something wrong with Delph,
and I'm worried there's
something wrong.
I'm sure Delph's gonna
do herself a serious injury.
I can't discuss my patients.
All right.
Well, if a young girl
came to see you with
extreme hyperactivity...
Possibly even ADHD...
Would you prescribe
her something like, um,
Concerta or Ritalin?
- What, just like that?
- Yes.
- No.
- And why not?
Any kind of behavioral disorder
requires a careful assessment.
It needs a thorough and
specialized examination
and a well-considered
treatment plan.
And I'm sorry. I
cannot discuss...
I saw Delph riding
around on the roof of a van
going at about 30 miles an hour.
How she didn't fall off and
kill herself I really don't know.
Have a seat, Louisa.
It's easy to forget that
some children are just bad.
Sorry?
There's a fine
line, isn't there,
between those that actually
require medical intervention
and those children that
are simply very naughty.
When I was a child,
if I misbehaved,
my father just gave
me a slap with his belt.
Or a table-tennis bat.
Or both sometimes.
Right, and you don't
think that's had any...
[Knock on door]
- Evening, Doc.
- What do you want?
I wanted another word
about my depression.
What?
I've been thinking
about my life as a whole,
and I just wanted to ask a
few more questions, that's all.
LOUISA: I'd best get going now.
Why is it exactly do you think
that I'm unhappy all the time?
[Laughing] I mean, I
know that's a hard one.
No, it isn't.
You're lonely, bored,
unloved, and past your prime,
if you ever had a prime.
Well, I thought you were
going to cheer me up.
How?
Well, with a few
words of wisdom.
I mean, do you think I need
a new challenge in my life?
You know, something to focus on
now that AI's left
me in the lurch?
Quite possibly.
Oh, so what you're saying
is I do need a new challenge.
Maybe shift my life into
a whole new direction.
[Chuckles]
In other words, I should
give up the plumbing.
Thank you, Doc. [Laughs]
I'll see myself out.
[Inhales sharply]
Um, how are you feeling today?
Okay, thanks.
Did you have some breakfast?
- Yes, I did.
- Good.
Hm.
Oh!
Ray?
Ray, where are you?
[Tires screech]
[Car alarm blares]
WOMAN: Look at this, George.
JOE: How fast were you going?
Oh, I don't know, Constable.
But I certainly wasn't speeding.
Maybe you're just
too old to be driving.
How dare you?
- You all right?
- Sorry, Doctor.
Do you mind not
talking to the suspect
until I've concluded
my inquiries?
She's not a suspect.
She's my aunt.
Well, in that case,
we'll say no more.
How's that with you, Doctor?
Is your leg hurting?
Yes. And my
back's killing me, too.
[Inhales sharply]
DOC MARTIN: Mm-hmm. Right.
Now, the good news is your
victim, Mr. Cleary, is blind,
so he won't know it was
you that tried to kill him.
He walked out in front
of me. Wasn't my fault.
- It wasn't my fault, either.
- I didn't say it was.
Good. Because it wasn't.
Now, the bad news...
Your back pain.
I'm afraid it's due
to osteoporosis.
I'm gonna send you for a scan.
That is precisely why I didn't
come here in the first place.
It doesn't hurt. It's
a dual-energy X-ray.
It just measures your
bone mineral density.
I'll have to waste an entire day
sitting 'round
some ghastly clinic.
Well, if you'd like to end
your life bent double in agony
with your limbs
snapping like twigs,
then we can
forget all about this.
I'll have the stupid scan.
Mm. Good.
I'm gonna give you some stupid
hormone replacement as well.
Why?
Because that's what
I'm prescribing you.
Martin.
The estrogen will slow
down your bone loss
and promote bone formation.
Right. Thank you.
Next time you have a problem,
come see me straightaway.
Only if you stop treating
me like one of your patients.
You are one of my patients.
- [Ray growling]
- Are you ready for me now?
No, I'll tell you when.
You know that Right-a-lin you
prescribed for P.C. Penhale?
Ritalin.
Ritalin, then.
I was looking it
up on the Internet.
Pauline, can I suggest that
rather than surfing the Web,
that you order the latex
gloves and tongue depressors
that I asked for two weeks ago?
Oh, yeah. Mrs. Tishell rang.
They're ready for collection.
So, why haven't
you collected them?
I forgot.
I was reading
about this Ritalin,
and there's nothing says
you give it to grown-ups
to keep them awake.
How dare you?
I don't pay you to check
up on my prescriptions.
What you pay me to do is boring.
I want to be stretched.
Is there anything else
you can give me to do
apart from answering the
phone and making appointments?
And forgetting to
collect my supplies.
Yeah. What else can I do?
You can mind your own business.
Try it.
- Is the doctor in?
- PAULINE: I'm afraid so.
Well, I need to
see him right away.
Actually, I think I'm next.
Are you in pain?
A little. Yeah.
In a hurry?
No, not really, but
I've been waiting...
Well, I need to be at
work in five minutes,
so I'll go in front
of Mr. Cleary.
DOC MARTIN: What's going on?
Why is Ms. Lane
reorganizing my diary?
Can I have Mr. Cleary's
notes? He's the next patient.
- ALISON: He's not.
- Wait a moment.
Not yet.
Patients do not come into this
surgery without my invitation.
And yet here I am.
[Sighs]
I take it this is
about your daughter.
I got rung up by the
school this morning.
They want Delph to
go in there on Monday
for an interview with an
educational psychologist.
On Monday!
And?
And you need to
give me some drugs
to stop her from
jumping around the room.
You need to give me
some of that Ritalin.
Who told you about Ritalin?
- Was it Miss Glasson?
- I'm not saying.
Has Delph got ADHD?
Not in my opinion.
If I did think she had
ADHD, all I could do
would be to refer her
to a child psychologist,
where she would be tested.
She would be
assessed by specialists.
- Before Monday?
- Well, of course not.
But I need something
straightaway.
If the school thinks
she's normal on Monday,
they won't throw her out.
Until she starts jumping
on teachers' cars again.
Well, maybe she won't.
Maybe it's just a phase.
Acne is a phase.
That child needs taking in hand,
something you have
clearly failed to do.
It's not my fault!
She never used to jump on cars.
In fact, up until
two months ago,
it was all I could do to stop
her playing with a Nintendo
for hours on end.
Now she won't even
concentrate on anything
for more than a minute.
Well, perhaps if you had stopped
her playing on her Nintendo
and encouraged her
to take some exercise,
then she wouldn't have
put on so much weight.
What are you feeding her?
Why? What's that got
to do with anything?
Because diet often has a huge
bearing on children's behavior.
I have not come here
to talk about my cooking!
No, you have come to
ask me to sedate your child
so you can pretend
she's a good little girl.
She is a good little girl!
There's nothing
little about her.
You mean she's fat?
Yes.
And I suppose you
think that I am fat.
Yes.
We can be as fat as
we like, Delph and me.
You tosser!
[Door slams]
DOC MARTIN: Mr. Cleary!
You can go in now, Mr. Cleary.
Thank you.
You okay, Mrs. Lane?
He wouldn't help me. I
know he could if he wanted.
Go through. Careful.
Mr. Cleary's notes.
I already gave them to you.
These aren't them.
Must be on your desk, then.
Find them.
This way.
No. No, Mr. Cleary. This way.
[Door closes]
I don't even know what happened.
You walked in front of a car.
But why did Ray run away?
He obviously
needs more training.
[Growls]
Bad dog.
[Barks]
Well, nothing's broken.
You should be fine as
soon as the gout clears up.
[Sniffs]
What's in your parcel?
Mackerel.
You shouldn't be
eating mackerel.
It's full of purines.
Bad for the gout.
Pauline said I
should eat more fish.
Oh, did she?
More fish.
Fruit and vegetables,
but especially fish.
Not that sort of fish.
She didn't specify.
Oh, didn't she?
[Ray barks, door opens]
I just told him what
it said on the website.
Which website was this...
"I Keep Forgetting I'm Just
a Receptionist" dot-com?
If anyone has a medical
problem, refer them to me.
I'm the doctor.
[Softly] Yeah. And
I'm just a receptionist.
What?
- Ooh!
- Sorry.
I think you squashed
my ciabatta.
- Really?
- Yep.
There's prawns everywhere, and
I've got mayonnaise all over me.
Uh, no. No, no.
- No, you're all right.
- Right. Thanks.
Can I buy you a new sandwich?
No, I'll just eat this
one with a spoon.
Right.
Actually, the reason
I had to get this
was because Alison Lane was
late again for work this morning.
Nothing was ready.
She said she'd been to
see you. Everything okay?
Yes. I understand
you've been talking to her
about the benefits of Ritalin.
Yes, yes, I may have
mentioned something.
But I have had pupils
that have been prescribed
drugs for their behavior.
I've seen what Ritalin
can do for kids like...
Louisa, it's bad enough
that I have a receptionist
second-guessing
my every diagnosis
without you joining in as well.
I'm just trying to help.
So am I.
Mrs. Tishell.
Oh, Doc. Sorry.
You have my tongue depressors.
Do I?
And latex gloves.
Oh, yes.
Oh, now, where did I put them?
Oh!
Oh, I'm sorry, Doc.
- I am in a bit of a tizzy.
- All right.
I've just had that Alison
Lane in here just now.
Oh, she gave me
a very hard time.
- Uh-huh.
- No.
She wouldn't believe me
when I said I had all
my diet pills on display.
Kept asking for
something stronger.
Mrs. Lane was in here asking
for appetite suppressants?
Yes. Oh.
Bingo. [Breathes deeply]
Has she bought
them from you before?
Yes, she bought them
a couple of months ago.
Sorry.
Thank you.
[Thudding, car alarm blaring]
Oi!
Get off my car!
[Woman gasps]
Delph?
Dial 999 and get an ambulance.
MAN: Is she okay, Doc?
Do you need any help?
Just get back. She
needs air. Plenty of air.
- WOMAN: Sorry, you lose.
- [Telephone rings]
Portwenn surgery.
Right. Done that.
Ambulance is on its way.
Look at all that blood.
Ugh! When's it due?
Oh. They didn't say.
Go and ask.
Oh.
Got your bag, Doc. [Gasps]
- [Vomits]
- Doc?
You all right?
All right.
I'll roll you over.
[Grunts]
All right, I need
an artery clip.
What's it look like?
Looks like a pair of
pliers with scissor handles.
Um...
All right, you
hold... You take that.
Can you get a...
Right. Can you open that?
Wait. Stand back, stand back.
- Have you called an ambulance?
- Of course we have.
ALISON: Excuse me. Excuse me.
Coming through. Out of the way.
Oh! [Gasps] Oh, my God.
- Delph.
- She'll be all right.
Did you give your
daughter diet pills?
What?
The pills you got
from Mrs. Tishell.
Cheap diet pills
cause hyperactivity.
I didn't give her
any diet pills.
[Siren wailing]
[Voice breaking] I-I did
gave her some Ritalin.
What? How much?
Just a couple of
pills this morning.
I thought they'd calm
her down, but they didn't.
Where did you get them from?
I saw some on your
desk, Paul. Sorry.
WOMAN: Excuse me.
I wouldn't have taken
them if you'd given me some.
Multiple lacerations to the
head, neck, chest, and arms.
I put a clip on the brachial
artery. She'll need an I.V.
Give her some colloid
and watch her B.P.
WOMAN: Wait.
Steady.
That's it.
Oh, I thought she was
gonna die. Didn't you?
No. You left Ritalin
on your desk.
Actually, it was you who
left the pills on my desk.
- No, it wasn't.
- You took them off me.
Then you put the bottle down
when you went to
deal with Mrs. Lane.
- You're wrong.
- You did!
It still looked full, so I
gave them to P.C. Penhale.
You haven't heard
the last of this.
I want a word with you.
Let me guess. "You're fired."
That's two words.
But I am, though, aren't I?
That is so unfair. I told you...
Phlebotomy.
- What?
- Phlebotomy.
I don't know what that means.
You clearly don't have a
problem dealing with blood.
I want you to go on this
course. It's in Truro next week.
They'll show you
how to find a vein,
how to insert a
needle into a patient,
and how to draw
blood for analysis.
I'll tell you who to bleed.
But you'll be in charge
of the actual bleeding.
Bleeding. [Chuckles]
Oh, my God.
How much more money
are you gonna pay me?
- What?
- It's a promotion, isn't it?
- Well, sort of.
- I should get more money, then.
What about so many
pounds per blood sample?
That'd be fair, wouldn't it?
Say, £10 a test
tube, plus a bonus
if I do it quicker than
you were expecting.
- [Door opens]
- Can I wear a white coat?
[Door closes]
[Footsteps approaching]
[Knocking]
Martin. Sorry it's late.
No, no. Come in.
I've brought someone to see you.
DOC MARTIN: Oh, you.
How's your daughter?
She's all right.
LOUISA: And what did
they say at the hospital?
They said she would be
dead if it weren't for you.
Yes, that's right.
Alison...
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Alison was worried
about coming to see you.
She said you might be
angry, so I said that I'd...
Come and protect her.
- I'm sorry I stole the Ritalin.
- So am I.
But if you'd given me
some when I asked...
LOUISA: Alison.
Listen, your daughter is
nearly an adolescent, not a child.
She reacted to the Ritalin
in the same way
that an adult would.
It stimulated her.
Added to the fact that
she was already strung out
on diet pills, wasn't she?
I told you no.
Hmm. You did.
- Are you calling me a liar?
- Yes.
For your information,
the diet pills were for me.
All right?
Although I suppose she
could have nicked some.
Oh, God.
Well, I suggest
you lock them up.
Or find an alternative
method of weight loss.
Such as?
Keep your mouth shut.
And it's time to go.
She really is very grateful.
Can I stay here?
Of course you can.
No, I promised to
take Alison home.
I meant, can I stay
at the surgery...
as your patient?
You want me to be your doctor?
I want you to be my... doctor.
Yeah.
What changed your mind?
I don't really know.
Do you think...
What?
Do you think I'm anemic?
I can find out, but I wouldn't
worry about it at this stage.
But I do worry.
- Do you?
- Yes.
- What about?
- Everything.
I worry about what
I'm doing with my life.
Well, I'm sure that's
not uncommon.
Well, do you worry
about your life?
Well, I tend not to
dwell on those things.
I try and keep busy, really,
with work and my hobby.
Your clock.
Mm. I've nearly
finished this one.
Then what?
Hmm.
Perhaps it'll be time
for something new.
I hope so.
Good.
Yes.
[Door opens, closes]
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