Doc Martin (2004–…): Season 2, Episode 9 - On the Edge - full transcript

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Martin, I'm...
I'm just so sorry.

- [Glass breaking]
- [Gasps]

[Birds squawking]

Colonel.

Ellingham.

I was just mending
the chicken coop,

and I went over on my ankle.

I see. And you'd call that
an emergency, would you?

Didn't say it was an
emergency, Martin.

I just asked you to look at it.



You're sweating.

I had to walk here.

My car's still in the garage.

Fresh air will do you good.

Well, there's nothing
broken. It's just sprained.

But you will need to rest it.

[Knock on door]

- I said keep off it.
- Ohhhh!

Ah. Ellingham.

Ah, yeah.

[Chuckling] Hi, Joanie.

10:30. Time for a cuppa.

Well, I would get up, but
apparently I'm an invalid.

- [Chuckles]
- Is that loaded?



Oh, don't worry, old
man. I'm a professional.

It's for protection.

Uh, not for me, you understand.

For the choughs.

Who are the chuffs?

Well, they're birds, old man.

- Oh.
- Extremely rare birds.

And they're
nesting on the cliffs

for the first time
for many years.

Luckily, word hasn't spread.

It's still on a
need-to-know basis.

We don't want a bunch of
gawpers disturbing the nesting site.

I thought that
shooting bird watchers

was generally frowned upon.

Oh, wise up, man.

Rare birds' eggs are worth a
fortune on the black market.

What's that, then?

Uh... nothing.

- Bert?
- Oh. Almost done.

I just got to get a new
part. I'll be back in an hour.

Why haven't you finished it?
You've been here over a week.

Well, you can't rush it.

I mean, do you want a proper
job or a job done quickly?

I'm beginning to wonder if
you're capable of doing either.

Oh, grumpy grumps.

[Door opens, closes]

That was close. [Clears throat]

Now, you keep this info
about the birds on the Q.T.,

uh, Ellingham.

Doctor-patient confidentiality.
You understand?

The birds aren't my patients.

Who's he going to
tell, anyway? [Chuckles]

Well, a couple of warning
shots across his bow

should do the trick. [Chuckles]

Like Robert Finn.

Well, uh, that was an accident.

- You shot him in the back.
- Yeah, b-but it was dark.

And anyway, I... [Clears throat]

I, uh... I thought he...

I-I...

I thought he was a wild boar!

Well, it wasn't permanent.

Can't think what the
fuss is all about. What?

Oh, that's reassuring.

Well, I'd love to stay and chat,

but I have a long
walk ahead of me.

Auntie Joan, in future,
unless it is a real emerg...

My God!

You've killed her!

Auntie Joan?

You bloody, bloody fool!

Why, I-I didn't
do it on purpose.

COLONEL: It wasn't my fault.
This one's entirely down to you.

Well, I'm not the one who
left a loaded gun lying around!

COLONEL: Perfectly
safe in my hands.

Oh, I'm so sorry. Is my
bleeding bothering you?

That'd be because
of the gunshot wound.

It's just a few pellets.
The bulk of it missed you.

COLONEL: It's all right, dear.

He... He... He just
winged you, Joanie.

Well, I think we've
all learned a lesson

about carrying
around loaded guns.

JOAN: Yes... Keep
them away from you!

[Door opens]

Oh?

Spanner slipped.

Mixer seized up again.
Got blood all over the bakery.

- Bet that hurts.
- The doc busy?

He's on a house call.
He'll be back in a minute.

Have a seat and
try not to bleed.

Like a doughnut?

They're not mine.

Supermarkets are gonna do me in.

And I'm not exactly getting
rich standing around here

waiting for the doc.

Calm down. It's just a doughnut.

COLONEL: You... You'll
be all right, Joanie, dear.

Yes, yes. I'll be fine.

If it's all the same
to you, I, uh...

I think we should keep this
whole thing to ourselves, hmm?

I mean, t-there's no point
in anybody getting a, uh...

A reputation for
this kind of thing.

- [Grunts]
- Gilbert, leave it.

Ah, yes. Well, all right.

There's... There's no
point in lugging it around.

I'll... I'll, um... I'll pick
it up tomorrow, huh?

[Chuckles] Uh,
goodbye, Joanie, dear.

Goodbye.

Right. I'll, uh, check
in on you tomorrow.

There'll be some
bruising and tenderness.

But, uh, you'll be fine.

Apology accepted.

Can I trust you to
take that thing with you

and drop it off with P.C. Mylow?

No, I...

I don't want Gilbert
stalking the cliffs with it.

No. No, I suppose not.

Um, how do you find
the safety switch on this?

I'd feel much happier if you
weren't playing around with it.

I'm not playing around
with it. I'm just trying...

Fine. I'll give it to Mylow.

And mind you don't shoot
anybody on the way home.

Yes.

BAKER: Third time the
mixer's gone down this week.

Can't afford to buy a new one.

The doc gonna be back soon?

Just don't fancy bleeding
to death, that's all.

He should have been here by now.

[Sighs]

I'll take care of it.

Come this way, please.

Are you sure?

Shush.

If you'd like to sit down there.

I might just wait.

It's fine. I don't need the doc.

I'm his loco.

As long as you know
what you're doing.

There is nothing to worry about.

I'm almost a trained nurse.

Well, in three years or so.

If a university accepts me.

Mmh.

I really don't think you
should be doing this.

- I've worked here for ages.
- [Door opens]

- I'm a medical professional.
- [Door closes]

Aah! Ooh!

What the hell's going on?

I knew he wouldn't like it.

It's a superficial laceration.

No, it isn't.

Pauline, you don't
acquire medical knowledge

simply by sitting in the
next room to a doctor.

Couldn't go off by accident
or anything, could it?

No. Course not.

Call, uh, P.C. Mylow, would
you, and have him come and get it.

PAULINE: Mark's
on his honeymoon.

Hawaii. Alone.

How depressing.

[Water running]

Could you get a move on, Doc?
I need to get back to the shop.

All right. Hold that.

Aah! Oh!

Oh, God.

Stop whining.

You're not hemorrhaging.
Your life isn't in danger.

You have a minor wound.

- Ohh.
- Shush.

Can I help you?

Your doctor has a unique
way of dealing with his patients.

Don't you agree?

Do you have an appointment?

I'm here to see the
doctor on a private matter.

You'll still need to
make an appointment.

Uh, I'll come back later.

[Water gurgling]

BERT: So...

Right, then.

Something bothering you, Bert?

Oh, no. No.

These birds...

- Which birds?
- Chough birds.

They're valuable, aren't they?

Oh, I wouldn't know
about that, Bert.

I'm gonna feed the chickens.

Right.

[Door opens, closes]

The hardest bit was writing
something about myself.

I had to sum myself
up in a paragraph.

Do you think three pages
is too long for a paragraph?

[Sighs] It's gonna be
weird, you not being here.

They have this great invention
called a phone, you know?

Yeah, I know, but...

Well, be a little
different, won't it?

Maybe I won't even get accepted.

Nah. Of course you will.

You got your GCSEs, didn't you?

Like metalwork and
woodwork and P.E.

Don't mess with me, Al Large.

Want me to post it for you?
I go right past the postbox.

Thank you.

Yeah? See you later.

Oh, Doc!

Mrs. Tishell, I was just...

I was just thinking about you.

In the latest issue of the MHRA,

there's a fascinating
article on elephantiasis.

- Um...
- Time for a cup of tea?

I ordered some antiseptic wipes.

Yes. That's right.

- And?
- Yes?

- Have they arrived yet?
- Oh. No, not yet.

- I have biscuits.
- I see.

You look like a
Hobnob sort of man.

I need a tube of tolnaftate
cream on my personal account.

Is it for yourself, Doctor?

Yes, it is.

Is it athlete's foot
or the... dhobi's itch?

Just the feet.

Right.

Yes. Sorry.

Sorry.

How long have you
had it? Is it in both feet?

I've got just the thing.

It's an aerosol.
Combination spray.

It'll clear it up in no time.

I'm sure I'll survive.

Well, I'll express
order it. [Stammering]

- Morning.
- Morning, Dennis.

Ah, Louisa.

Were you following me?

No. I wasn't.

I'm... I-I-I'd been
to see Mrs. Tishell.

Well, I'd hate to
accuse you of stalking.

'Cause I know what
it's like to be accused

of being something
that you're not.

Like, oh, I don't know,
a certain doctor claiming

that I suffered from delusional
romantic attachments.

I... Well, perhaps when
I said that, I was being...

Rude?

I hadn't thought
through the diagnosis.

And that's your apology.

I didn't apologize.

Here. Um...

What's this?

It's a card.

Hmm. Martin.

Happy birthday.

Joan put you up
to this, did she?

DOC MARTIN:
It's a birthday card.

LOUISA: Oh, I see. Thank you.

And, um, I was wondering,

perhaps, if you weren't
doing anything later,

you might like to have,
um, dinner with me.

I don't believe it.

Dad?

Well, what are you doing here?

- [Laughs]
- You should have called.

Oh! It wouldn't have been
a surprise, then, would it?

- Ah, you look beautiful.
- Oh, no, I don't.

Yes, you do. Just
like your mother.

Terry, this is Dr. Ellingham.
Uh, this is my dad.

- I thought he was dead.
- I never said that.

Oh, I must have dreamt it.

What happened to
old Doc Sim, then?

Uh, he... he is dead.

WOMAN: Tosser!

Uh, don't worry. That
was meant for me.

Local dialect for
"Welcome back."

Uh, well, I-I-I
have to go. Yeah.

Thank you.

I'll bet he's the life
and soul of the party.

No, Martin's all right.

He's just, you know...
He's just different.

I'm sorry... I'm just a little
bit surprised to see you.

Especially here.

I thought it was time
to pay you a visit.

Couldn't forget your birthday.

Why? You usually do.

Turned over a new leaf.

So you staying
in the village or...

Oh. Well, come on.

I wish I wasn't empty-handed.

I saw this lovely dress
in a shop in London.

All flowers.

Would look beautiful
on you, really.

I went in. They said,
"Wholesale only."

LOUISA: Yeah, school's fine.

And I got a promotion.

Headmistress.

- No.
- Yep.

Well, that's great.

I'd better behave myself, then.

I think you're a little
bit old for detention.

Not that you'd ever turn up.

Can't get higher
than that, can you?

Head of school.
What's the pay like?

Why?

[Chuckling] I was
just... I'm interested.

Look, Louisa, don't worry.

I didn't come back here to
try and borrow money off you,

if that's what you're thinking.

No, it wasn't. So
why are you back?

I missed you.

I knew you'd be
on school holidays.

I hoped to see you.

Oh.

Cup of tea?

You always change
the subject, don't you?

No, I don't. I just
wanted a cup of tea.

I know what it's like down here.

Listen hard, you can
hear the curtains twitching.

Can't have been easy for you,

putting up with what
people said about me.

No, it wasn't.

And I know I'm not gonna
win a father-of-the-year award.

But, well...

I'm not getting any younger.

I thought we could spend
a bit of time together.

What?

Well, when people say that,
they usually follow it up with,

"And I've only got
six months left to live."

[Chuckling] No,
no. I'm not dying.

I just missed my daughter.

I tell you what...

Why don't you sit down?

I'll make you a
special birthday dinner.

Uh, well, the thing is,

I'm supposed to be meeting
up with some people in the pub.

- That's all right.
- No, no, no.

It doesn't matter
because it's not definite.

And... And I would love that.

Oh, great.

Just two questions.

Do you have beans?
Do you have toast?

In the cupboard.

[Cupboard opens]

BAKER: All very well, you
saying things will get better.

You don't have an ex-wife
who wants you destitute, do you?

And you're not competing with
that supermarket in Delabole.

Well, you got to make
your own luck, don't you?

Taken half my customers, it has.

I mean, who wants a
sausage roll from me

when you can get light bulbs
and toilet roll in the next aisle?

Here. You take a
look at this, right?

Here. Chough birds, eh?

Now, just think of this, eh?

All those rare-bird fanatics

that go up and down the
land in search of them,

and we got them right here.

That doesn't help me none.

Well, you got to
think about it, right?

Now, I made some phone
calls, and I told them twitchers,

"You pack your throw,
missus, and come to Portwenn."

Tomorrow the place
will be teeming with them.

And that's when I can do
my bird-watching tours, see?

- They rare, then?
- Oh, the Colonel thinks so.

He thinks those eggs
are worth thousands.

The only trouble is he's not
letting anybody near them.

It's a bugger for my tours.

You...

You know what you
need to do, don't you?

You need to make some of
those bird-shaped pasties.

They'd fly off the shelves.

Don't think that's gonna
solve my financial problems.

[Laughing] They'd
fly off the shelves.

Oh, don't worry.

Things are looking
right up, my friend.

Things are looking right up.

Morning, Doc.

[Sea gulls squawking]

Ah. Hello again.

I thought I'd catch you
before the morning rush.

Gavin Peters. I'm
a doctor's friend.

You're what?

I work as a liaison
between practitioners

and the local medical committee.

I assist colleagues
with complaints.

It's part of the Cause
for Concern initiative.

There are certain issues

that have been
brought to our attention

regarding your patient care.

Right.

Oh.

Oh, that's... that's good luck.

I got it.

Right.

Yeah, we've had a few
complaints about your manner,

the way you deal with patients.

I don't want to
go into specifics,

just to say that certain people
felt you're a little brusque.

- Can I come in?
- Brusque?

Yeah, first of all, I
want to assure you

that nobody's in
any trouble here.

But patient care

isn't just about the
right diagnosis, is it?

We have a pastoral
duty, as well.

What do you think is a
doctor's greatest tool?

Hmm? Take a guess.

A thermometer.

No. It's these.

When we listen...
Really listen to patients...

We let them know we're here.

Can I just stop you there?

Sure.

[Sighs]

Doc, can I have a word?

- Not now.
- It's quite important.

What?

Ah! Ellingham!

Now, what did I tell you?

Not to broadcast it
around the village!

Broadcast what
around the village?

You told the baker about
the choughs, didn't you?

Hmm?

Now that man can't
keep his trap shut, either.

He probably told the butcher
and Lord knows who else.

Now people know there are
choughs nesting on the cliffs.

- There are chuffs on the cliffs?
- Uh...

I don't care where the choughs
are nesting or who knows it.

Well, you're obviously not aware

of how common the
theft of rare birds' eggs is.

Not aware, don't care.

Unless you have a medical
problem, please leave.

Doc, about that word?

Can't help you.

All I need is to
borrow your boat

for an hour or two on Wednesday.

There's 50 quid in it for you.

And where'd you
get the money, eh?

Don't start with that.

£60.

I don't need your money.

Fellas!

Listen, fellas.

Can you help me out?

What are you doing?

Hello, boy.

Another feather
in your dad's cap.

- That's the police car.
- I know.

P.C. Mylow asked me to
look after it while he was away.

Yeah, I don't think he
meant turn it into a tour bus.

Tours of what, anyway?

- You ever heard of chough birds?
- Nope.

What we have here is
a real money spinner.

Here, don't go
spreading it about, but...

Are we gonna do any work today?

- You having a problem?
- No.

- Troubles with your girl?
- [Groans]

Well, whatever it is, you
can be sure of one thing...

At the end of the day,
it'll all be your fault.

I mean, that's the
way their mind works.

Come on. Lend us a hand.

[Groans]

You see, the thing is, it's
just easier to apologize.

It gets you off the hook,
and before you know it,

she's cooking you
something tasty for your tea

and you're watching
"Match of the Day."

Result.

You remember that
conversation we had

about some things I don't
want you interfering in?

This is one of them things?

Yeah.

All right.

Lend us a hand
with the other side.

Come on.

Like I said, all you
have to do is apologize.

What about a nice
bunch of flowers?

Always worked for me.
Nice bunch of flowers.

Did your mom send you a card?

What do you think?

Oh, you know what she's like.
She was never good at dates.

I know.

[Groans] I'm not sure
this is a good idea.

Come on. It's just a
drink. It's gonna be fine.

I mean, some people will
probably make the odd comment,

talk about us behind our backs.

But, you know, that's
just villages for you.

It's not that that
I'm worried about.

It's when they grab the flaming
torches and the pitchforks.

Still, you've always
believed in me.

Terry! Hey!

Hey!

There you are.

Jonathan?

I didn't expect to see you here.

Surprise.

Uh, this is my friend Jonathan.

This is my daughter, Louisa.

Pleased.

Good to meet you.

We have to talk.

Sure. Later.

I'm taking my
daughter for a drink.

Mmh, great. I'm parched.

[Chuckling] What?

What, I can't join
you for a drink, Terry?

Sure you can.

Garage has returned your car.

Can I sit down?

No.

What I am about to say
is gonna come as a shock.

Ah, this is really hard.

Okay.

Okay. Now, we've been
through a lot, you and me.

I mean, I don't want to
leave you in the lurch.

I know you've
come to rely on me.

What are you talking about?

I'm going to university.

To train as a nurse.

I'm leaving.

Goodbye.

Not straightaway.

I'll help you find
my replacement.

Not that it will
ever be the same.

I know.

I am gonna miss you.

Thanks, Doc.

And... And don't bother
about my reference.

I've already
written one for you.

Okay.

[Indistinct talking]

You never said you
had a friend coming.

He's my lodger.

He said he'd say hello
if he was in the area.

What was that about
him having to talk?

He seemed upset.

Probably nothing.

I never thought
I'd miss this place.

Same old decor.

Yeah, it's the
same old bird, too.

You know, uh, the government
are making a camera

that can go into
the eyes of birds.

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

It's a very miniature thing.

It's, uh, nanotechnology for,
um, you know, surveillance.

Don't ask where they
put the battery pack.

[Laughter]

LOUISA: Painful.

[Coins clink]

Everyone is watching me.

Give me some money
to put in the box.

- No, they're not looking at you.
- Yeah, they are.

No, they're looking at me.

I left Portwenn
under a bit of a cloud.

Wish they'd mind their
own bloody business.

Yeah, well, they better stop.

- Like elephants, this lot.
- Ignorant old sods.

Don't worry about
it. It's not worth it.

I...

I don't like this. I don't...

There's too much
coverage here, Terry.

I don't like this at all.

Keep calm. Finish your drink.

You should be ashamed
of yourselves, you know?

My dad is a good man.

He doesn't deserve
to be treated like this.

It didn't have
anything to do with him.

And it is because of
people like you that...

Look, I know that
my father is innocent.

- I'm onto you, you know.
- TERRY: Jonathan.

LOUISA: disgusting,
the way that he's...

No. There's no point pretending.

- I know you're watching me.
- BIRD: Give us a kiss.

Don't make fun
out of me. All right?

- BIRD: [Squawks]
- Are you?!

TERRY: That's it!

Come on.

[Squawking]

I-I-I just wanted to say
that. Right. That's all.

And that had nothing
to do with my father.

His friend just
doesn't like parrots.

- [Murmuring]
- WOMAN: What's got into her?

- [Knock on door]
- Come.

What do you want?

Just a chat.

Then chat with the
receptionist. I'm busy.

Dr. Ellingham...

May I call you Martin?

No.

There have been complaints
about your attitude towards patients.

Have there?

They always complain.

That's what
patients do, isn't it?

Yes.

Well, what I'm here to
do is to make a report...

Talk to people,
find out what's what.

Nothing to worry about.

Send me a copy
when you've finished.

Well, this is an
official matter.

I'd appreciate your
cooperation. I have a job to do.

So do I.

Ideally, we'd like
to resolve this issue

without it going to
a screening panel.

The practice is clean.

My medical knowledge is current.

Patients with urgent
medical needs

can consult with me immediately,
and I work within budget.

There is no problem here.

That's not for you to decide.

The medical
committee will decide

whether the G.P. should
have to undergo training or...

Are you saying that my
position is in jeopardy here?

I urge you to help
me to help you.

Indeed.

I'll get the door.

Very well.

Unfortunately, you
leave me with little choice

but to set up a review panel
to look into your conduct.

You will be required to attend.

[Indistinct talking]

- Morning.
- Morning.

Which way to the choughs?

Up to the top of the
hill and turn right.

Thanks, mate.

A right's gonna
take us over the cliff.

You mean left, don't you?

Right.

I had no idea that bird
watching was so popular.

Now, look here.

If you're going to take those
ghastly twitchers up there,

you better make sure they
don't get too close to the choughs.

Right.

But I thought it'd be nice for
you to meet like-minded folk.

Aah.

This way for the Large Tours!

We are the best ornithological
tour operator in town!

Come and see the amazing birds!

Hey, Al.

Oh?

Open it.

PAULINE: Oh!

Dinner. At your place.

- That's romantic.
- Maybe.

Wait.

You're not gonna
dump me, are you?

What?

I know the signs.

No, Pauline, I'm
not gonna dump you.

Well, of course not.
Why would you? I'm great.

- AL: See you then, yeah?
- Yeah.

- Morning, Doc.
- Yeah.

Next patient, please?

I'm next.

It'll be a lot easier if
you let me explain it.

- [Door closes]
- Take a seat.

Sit down. Take a seat.

There you go.

He needs lithium.

400 milligrams is
the usual dosage.

Is it? That's not how it works.

I'm just trying to
save you a bit of time.

I'm not in the habit of writing
prescriptions to save time.

JONATHAN: I'm fine.

I'm just here because
he is annoyed with me.

He doesn't want me here.
He didn't want me on this job.

Jonathan!

Surname?

Crozier with a zed.

G.P.'s name?

I don't, um... I don't remember.

He smells like soup, though.

Trust me.

You'll give them
to him in the end.

Mr. Glasson, don't tell
me how to be a doctor,

I won't tell you how to
be an absentee parent.

There's a couple of
tests I need you to do

before I hand out
any prescriptions.

Tests?

I, uh, don't like tests.

[Sniffles]

"Sadness... Choose from
the following statements

the one which
mostly applies to you.

I do not feel sad. I feel
sad much of the time.

I feel sad all of the time.

- Pessimism..."
- I see.

So you've already
taken the writing test

for bipolar disorder.

Who told you that?

Well, I assumed because
you've memorized it

that you had a passing
familiarity with it.

That's clever. That's good.

You almost had me there, Doc.

Mr. Crozier, when did you
last take your medication?

Shh.

It's just a smoke detector.

That's what you think.

- Mr. Crozier.
- How about you, Doc?

Do you ever feel helpless?

Do you feel totally helpless,

a little helpless,
not helpless at all?

Choose from the following
statements the one...

Mr. Crozier, be quiet. Now.

I'm sorry. I was just
trying to make a joke.

It's okay. Jonathan, it's okay.

If you don't resume
your medication,

you could suffer a
psychotic breakdown.

Since I got down here,

the headaches have
been much, much worse.

Could you just, um, write me
a prescription, please, Doctor?

And what's the usual dosage?

Who wants to know?
You or the giant rabbit?

- I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
- [Laughs]

He gets it. [Laughs]

I'm sorry.

- 400 milligrams.
- DOC MARTIN: Thank you.

Oh, could you make sure it's
the ones without tracking devices?

Yes.

MRS. TISHELL: A
few more minutes.

Sorry for your wait.

Oh, take your time.
We're not in a hurry.

You know the
doctor professionally.

- And personally.
- Well, yes.

You see a side of the doctor
that I'd like to know about.

Uh, I'm a doctor's friend.

[Gasps] My!

And I'm investigating
Dr. Ellingham.

Well, "investigating"
is a strong word.

He's not in trouble, is he?

Well, "trouble" is
another strong word.

Well...

Of course.

Anything you want
to know, just ask.

Much appreciated.
Makes my job easier.

You talk to his patients.
They talk to you.

Excuse me.

Dr. Ellingham is
a wonderful man!

Warm.

Caring. Even charming.

We are truly blessed

to have such a giant of a
man in our small village.

That's my professional opinion.

- I see.
- I'm a scientist.

But if anyone has
healing hands, it's our doc.

Big hands.

Big heart.

Fascinating.

That's not quite the impression
that I have, but I suppose...

Mr. Crozier?

Right.

TERRY: Thank you.

Doc? Sweetheart.

MRS. TISHELL: Isn't he just?

Ohh.

And anyone who says
otherwise is a tooty liar!

Wow. She was a looker.

Will you shut up?

Take one of these.

It'll make you
feel a lot better.

You'd like that, wouldn't you?

I told you not to
come down here.

I told you I wanted
to collect it myself.

What part of that
don't you understand?

You're hurting my hand.

It's just that you never...

You never tell me anything.

You take that
pill, I'll tell you.

The boat arrives
tomorrow at 12:00.

And when I get the package off
it, we'll leave town, head home.

Is that clear enough for you?

Good boy.

What on earth are
you doing, Auntie Joan?

You shouldn't be
exerting yourself.

Oh, shouldn't I, now?

Does that mean
you're going to pitch in

and help around here, Marty?

Um...

Well...

JOAN: Oh!

The more you rest, the shorter
your healing process will be.

I wouldn't need
the healing process

if someone hadn't shot me.

Now, nobody actually
shot you, did they?

You just got shot.

- What am I doing?
- Eggs.

Right.

Colonel is feeling very
guilty about the whole thing.

Yes. So he should be.

Oh.

Entirely his fault.

Shoo.

Shoo.

Running around the
cliffs with a loaded gun.

He's paranoid.

Yes, he is. But he
could have a point there.

He thinks he saw someone
on the cliffs the other night,

trying to steal the eggs.

Yes, of course he thinks
he saw someone on the cliffs.

The man's a nutcake.

And Terry Glasson
is back in town.

I certainly wouldn't
put it past him.

- What, Louisa's father?
- Oh, have you met him?

Yeah. Thoroughly disagreeable.

Does that makes
him an egg thief?

Oh, you obviously haven't
heard why he left in the first place.

There was an incident
involving money

for Charity for the
Lifeboat that went missing.

Quite a large amount.

That must have been
embarrassing for Louisa.

She didn't believe it.

But he was prosecuted?

Um, no.

Oh, I see.

Oh, you all must have
been so disappointed

when they stopped
burning witches around here.

Martin, I caught him
red-handed. He took the money.

You should have
called the police.

Yes, I know, but I
couldn't do that to her.

Louisa is the only one
you'll find around here

who still thinks he innocent.

[Chuckles] That's the funny
thing about families, Marty.

Loyalty is but a step
away from delusion.

[Birds chirping]

For an extra fiver,

you can travel shotgun
up front with me, love.

Bert.

- Terry Glasson.
- How are you?

- Busy.
- So I see.

Listen, you still got
that old dinghy of yours?

What's it got to
do with you, then?

Well, I'd like to borrow it for
a couple of hours tomorrow.

You don't borrow,
Terry. You take.

I'll give you 60 quid.

70.

No.

Look, I'm not asking
you to do me a favor.

I'm giving you money.

80 quid. Final offer.

Where'd you get that
money from, then?

Won it on a horse.

Whistling Beau. 6-to-1.

No. And I'll tell
you the reason why.

It's a poor man who
steals from his friends.

Look, Bert, I'm
giving you 80 quid

for two hours on your dinghy.

You're a man of
principle. I respect that.

But you'd be an idiot to
turn down an offer like this.

- I'm not an idiot.
- Then take the money.

Good to see you.

I'll drop by at 11:00 tomorrow.

Right!

Let's be having you!

Gonna have to
hurry you along, Doc.

Not long before I need
to... You know... again.

How are your bowel movements?

Not pleasant.
Not pleasant at all.

- Any pain?
- [Moans softly]

Mmh.

I'll need to take a stool
sample and have it analyzed.

Don't envy you on that one.

I'll get you a container.

Oh.

In the meantime, it
would be a good idea

to take some time off work.

Chance would be a fine thing.

Got a couple of
hundred pasties to bake

for the eating
competition tomorrow.

Biggest earner of the year.
Interested in taking part?

I warn you... Bert's
won it five years in a row.

No. Cancel it.

No, Doc.

In all probability, you
have a stomach infection.

Until I can find out what it is,

I don't want you spreading
it around the village.

It's a tradition, our contest.

Oh, yes, the tradition
of mass food poisoning

and the complications
that ensue.

Cancel it.

BERT: Afternoon, Colonel.

Which way to the birds?

West of Germany,
I'm afraid, old man.

What?

Yeah, the birds have
flown the nest, literally.

You've got to be joking.

Probably disturbed by all the
attention they've been getting.

Well, what am I gonna
do with my customers?

Well, with your well-known
charm and personality,

no doubt you'll sort
everyone out, right?

[Indistinct talking]

Yeah. Good.

Aye.

Uh, excuse me.

I've just been informed
by my learned co-associate

that the birds have
unfortunately flown away.

- [People groaning]
- But don't worry.

There are plenty
more rare bird types

for you to do your observations.

We just might have
to drive around for a bit

until we find them.

Now, if anybody
sees a rare bird type,

just give me a holler directly.

Right. In we get. Lovely.

There we are.

And the next one.
Thank you. [Chuckles]

Oh, you'll be glad to
know... No extra charge.

Thanks. Cheers.

Louisa.

Martin.

Ice cream.

Oh, no. It hurts my teeth.

Dad always used to take us
for ice cream every weekend,

He said that up to the age of
6 my arteries were made of ice.

That sounds fun.

Mmh.

Said you had a bit of difficulty
at the surgery yesterday.

Uh, no. Not really.

He said he practically
had to force you

to give his friend
some medication.

I told him that was just how you
liked to welcome new patients.

It's not. There are procedures.

Blood out of a stone.
That's what he said.

Well, at least I'm not a thief.

Martin, I was just teasing you.

And I wouldn't have
thought that you, of all people,

would join in with local gossip.

I'm not.

All this time, you keep
your distance from everyone.

And when you finally decide
to show some community spirit,

it's to join in with malicious
rumors about my father.

But they're not
rumors. Ask Joan.

She said she caught him
red-handed, stealing money.

Louisa...

Ah.

You've received
your official notification

about the review tomorrow?

Yes, I did.

Then I expect
I'll see you there?

Do I have a choice?

[Sighs] Martin,
this isn't personal.

I don't bear any
ill will towards you,

as I'm sure you
don't towards me.

Take your hand off me,

you unctuous,
platitudinizing eunuch.

- You have ice cream...
- I know.

Ah! Wine?

How much romance
can one girl take?

Actually, I never made
this marinara sauce before.

It says on the jar,
"Open and heat up."

But how long do
you think "heat up" is?

- I don't know.
- Eh?

- Don't know.
- Right. Sit down.

Not that one...
The, uh, comfy one.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Red wine.

Uh...

Well...

What's that, then?

What's it look like?

Open it.

Uh, okay.

[Laughs]

Oh, I c... I can't believe it.

I thought for a second
you'd gone all Bodmin

and you were actually
gonna propose to me.

[Laughing] I think I'm
actually having a heart attack.

Oh, but it's just a key.

A lovely, almost shiny key.

- So you will, then?
- Will I what?

Move in with me.

Oh.

Can I think about it?

Well, uh...

Yeah, just gonna...

Want some, um... Want
some cheddar on yours?

No thanks.

It's really sweet of
you, Al, but, um...

I just thought if you moved in,

then you wouldn't
want to leave is all.

Oh, it's not you.

I just don't want to
stay in Portwenn forever.

What's out there that
you can't get here?

Well, I just don't
want to end up...

What?

I can see us moving
in, getting married.

Getting fat, getting old.

You'd be Bert,
and I'd be Mrs. Bert.

And we'll never
have done anything.

I'll come back.

You could go off if you
wanted, and it'd be okay with me.

Oh, cheers. [Scoffs]

Let's take this
down to the beach,

lie on our rock, and
watch the sunset.

We'll stay all night
and watch the stars.

Will there be other stuff?

- Maybe.
- [Chuckles]

Well, could get
cold, couldn't it?

I'll keep you warm, Al Large.

Want to borrow a jumper?

Well, since you tidied,
I can't find anything.

Hmm.

Uh!

Uh...

Yeah, uh, I haven't got
'round to posting that yet.

This is my application.

Yeah.

I see.

Bye, Al.

Mmm!

Now, aren't they the
best scrambled eggs

you've ever tasted?

Well, maybe not the best.

Dad?

What is it?

I haven't forgotten, you know,

sitting in the bookmakers
on my 10th birthday

with a packet of sweets,

with you telling me
how the next race

was gonna be the
one that would come in.

- It was always the next one.
- Louisa...

[Sighs] Dad...

I need to know.

Did you take that money?

No, I didn't.

I might be many
things, but I'm not a thief.

Yeah.

When one person tells
you that you're wrong,

you can ignore them.

But when it's a
whole village, it's hard.

You know, every day
I'd have to ask myself,

am I being a fool
still believing in you?

You know... [Sighs]

I know how hard it
must have been for you,

bringing us up after Mom left.

It's nothing to do
with your mother!

Louisa, that money
was for the lifeboats.

Do you really think
that I'd stoop that low?

So Joan...

Joan never caught you?
She never saw you take it?

She's lying, as well?

Joan. Meddling cow.

How could you?

I had gambling debts.

Big debts.

And there was this
horse. A sure thing.

When it won, I was
gonna pay the money back.

Of course, it fell...

No, I meant how could
you lie to me all these years?

How could you let me
make a fool of myself

in front of my friends, in
front of the whole village?

I'm sorry.

I think...

I think you should
leave in the morning.

Dad.

[Indistinct talking]

Pauline.

I have nothing to say to you.

Well, maybe I've got
something to say to you, eh?

Listen, I'm... I'm really
sorry about the application.

I went past the postbox.

I honestly... I
saw it. I just...

Aah!

- I caught your finger, didn't I?
- Yeah.

Maybe I should
come and see the doc.

Right.

Aah.

So last night he only goes and
asks me to move in with him.

- What?
- Al.

Thought he could blindside
me with marinara, didn't he?

And he walked right
past the postbox.

Sorry. Sorry.

You know you got
your review panel.

Yes, of course I know.
I'm on my way there.

It's not like you can
miss a postbox, is it?

It's big and red.

Pauline, I'll be
back in an hour.

Yes. Sorry.

Yes.

Good luck.

[Door closes]

[Knock on door]

Jonathan.

Terry!

Terry, come here.

Terry, Terry, Terry. Come here.

I like what you've
done with the room.

Hey, I am... I-I think
I've worked it all out.

See, it's all in here.

You haven't been
taking your medication!

Yes. Of course I have.

That's why I'm thinking
so clearly, Terry.

You see, there's
a chip in my head,

and they're using their
chips to connect with it.

Listen. Listen.

Shh.

[Dial tone]

- Hear it?
- It's a dialing tone.

What are you doing?

I just need to, um...

Okay, there's someone down here,

and... and he's
transmitting into my head.

The longer I stay
here, the worse it gets.

I just need to... I just
need to work out who.

It's okay, Terry.

I know it isn't you.

Where are you going?

We have to go and
meet the boat, remember?

I'm leaving now.

Oh, okay. No, good. Good.

If you're going out, could you
get me a roll of aluminium foil?

What, to put on your head and
stop government mind control?

I've got some cheese I
don't want getting hard.

Jonathan, we're
leaving for London.

Yeah, of course we are.

Soon as I meet the boat.

No! I'm going now!

What?

I can't meet the boat on my own.

Then do yourself a favor,
please, and come with me now.

- You're lying.
- What?

You're lying!

You're not going
anywhere! You're just...

You just don't want me to
do the job with you, do you?

Goodbye, Jonathan.

And take your pills, huh?

[Door opens]

[Door closes]

Now, we all know the rules.

Each pasty must be finished
before you start the next one.

If you have to be sick, please
use the buckets provided.

[Light laughter]

And while I don't
condone betting

on such a spiritual
contest like this,

I will say I'm having
a fiver on Bert here.

So...

On your marks.

Get set.

Wait!

I thought I told
you to cancel this.

[People murmuring]

It's a serious
health-and-safety risk.

- Did you bake these yourself?
- Well, yeah.

Well, whatever your
stomach complaint is

could be passed
on by handling food.

I can't allow this to happen.

You can't exactly call
the police, can you?

There aren't any in town.

[Laughter]

I'll have you shut down on
a health violation for good.

My pasties are fine.

Bert!

- Put it down.
- But I got money on this.

So what? Come on.

All these pasties
here... Give them to me.

[Indistinct shouting]

Yeah, he's probably
been held up by a patient.

He's very dedicated.

Well, if Dr. Ellingham
doesn't feel

that his attendance
is in his best interests,

then the board
will have no choice

but to consider the
accusations substantiated.

[Shouting continues]

[Laughter]

Tosser!

That is not funny!

This is potentially
contaminated meat.

Honestly, I try and
help you people.

I don't know why I bother.

MAN: Take that! Take that!

Well, I think we've
sat here long enough.

Obviously,
Dr. Ellingham has decided

to show his contempt
for this process.

[Footsteps thudding]

Can we push this along?

There's something
I have to attend to.

I also have potentially infected
processed meat in my hair.

Dr. Ellingham,
this review board...

I know what a review
board is. Get to the point.

Are you aware that I've spoken

to a number of
people in the village?

They felt that your
attitude towards them

was a little superior.

Some would go so far
as to say "condescending."

Others simply settled on "rude."

I have a list of
the incidents cited.

Is there a particular medical
problem you wish to discuss?

Healthcare is more than that,

especially in
villages like this.

A doctor needs to
go the extra yard,

to be a part of the community.

All right, look, you've
carried out your investigation,

you've got lots of evidence,

and I don't doubt that you've
reached your conclusion.

So why don't you
just cut to the chase?

Fine.

LOUISA: You know, I-I'm
actually quite surprised

by some of the people that
you've chosen to interview

about Dr. Ellingham.

I mean...

Mrs. Redtree.

She's always got an
ax to grind, you know?

Last month it was because
the postman left her gate open.

Practically strung
him up for it.

Mr. Thornton.
Complaining is his hobby.

He even wanted
to ban the sea gulls

because they made
too much noise.

You know, he's hardly
a reliable witness.

Well, I spoke to a
number of people.

Really? None of them had a good
word to say about Dr. Ellingham?

Well, some. Um...

The chemist, for example.

She was very enthusiastic
about him, but...

LOUISA: Mrs. Tishell. Yeah.

So you just chose to write
down the testimonies of those

who enjoy whingeing, yeah?

Miss Glasson, what's your point?

Well, look.

Even I find Doc...
Dr. Ellingham a little bit...

frustrating at times.

But I also know

that we are very lucky to
have him here in the village,

and, you know, so do
most of these people.

- So my point is that...
- Thank you, Miss Glasson.

Dr. Ellingham, there
is a recent initiative...

A training course
focusing on people skills.

Oh, God.

It's two weeks,
and it will teach you

how to relate to your
patients as people,

not just medical complaints.

After that, I'll return to see
how you've taken it on board.

And what if I choose not to
attend your initiative, Gavin?

Well, then, I'll recommend
you be removed.

It really is down to
you, Dr. Ellingham.

Right.

Well, he... he
probably just needs

some time to think about it.

Oh. How'd it go?

[Door opens]

Went well, then.

[Door slams]

[Young women laughing]

- [Knock on door]
- Come.

Was that really necessary?

No, it wasn't.

You... You do realize
how serious this is?

Yes, I do.

Martin, they want
to get rid of you.

Don't you even care about that?

Look...

I know that you've never
really fitted in around here,

and I know that
you've never really tried

and that you're not
interested in doing so.

And I've always tried to
understand that about you

because... because,
well, that's just you.

That's... That's
what you're like.

But I don't even think
that this is about that.

I think that... That
you deliberately

wanted that review to go wrong.

And I think that you... You
want them to replace you

and to send you away from here.

Well, Martin, you know,
for what it's worth...

I-I would like you to stay.

So there.

Louisa...

[Door opens]

I certainly never intended...

- Can I help you?
- No, no. Shh.

DOC MARTIN:
[Talking indistinctly]

Aah!

- Sorry!
- Oh! Hi.

[Coughs] Um, we, um...

We need to talk.

- Get out.
- Shh! Um...

Mr. Crozier, you haven't been

taking your
medication, have you?

[Laughs] Of course I haven't.

- Why not?
- Because!

Because I know
what's going on here.

I know that you're all just
waiting for me to leave town.

I know that there's
somebody else,

and he's behind all of this.

So just...

I need you to just call
your dad for me, please,

'cause I really
need to talk to him.

No.

No, you see, you
don't understand.

If... If... If... If...

You need to call him,
and then he'll come back.

Otherwise, he will...

If you could just give
him a quick tinkle...

Mr. Crozier. Wait outside.

- Just... Just... Just...
- I said wait outside!

- Aah!
- Okay...

No, no, no, no, no!
Don't do that! Come back.

That's just upsetting
me. Why would...

Let her go!

Don't think you're supposed
to antagonize him, Doc.

Okay.

[Cellphone rings]

Hello?

[Gasps]

Hello?

Yeah.

Daddy.

Oh! [Whimpers]

Louisa?

Yeah?

Daddy, y-your friend's here.

- Jonathan.
- Jonathan.

And, um, he... he...

And, um, he's... he's
not in a very good mood.

And, um, he... he'd like you
to come... to come back here.

And... And he's got a knife.

Okay, the boat leaves
at 12:00. Don't be late.

Good.

Okay, sit down.

This one! This...

All right, Jonathan.

I want you to take
a few deep breaths

and give me the knife.

Then I want you to sit down

so that I can sedate
you and call the police.

Nice.

[Sighs]

Why don't you just go
over there, get that chair,

and bring it over here?

Come on.

And you... reception chicky...

Just get me some tying-up stuff.

- Surgical tape?
- Yeah.

And a gag. For him.

[Chuckles]

Put it down. Sit down on it.

Yeah.

I never done this before.

I wouldn't have guessed.

Mr. Crozier...

why don't you stop and
consider the consequences?

Put that clock down.

- [Thud]
- Just say please.

Listen. Listen.

Electronic static.

Can you hear it?

No.

I think I can!

All right, I-I don't want
anybody to worry, but...

I think they've
got in here, too!

They'll call the hostage
negotiator in soon.

He's getting worse, isn't
he? Much, much worse.

Martin, I-I'm sorry.

[Clattering]

You break it, you pay for it!

Martin, just stop annoying
the man with the knife.

Yeah.

Don't trust Terry.
Don't trust Terry.

He's... He's nothing but a liar.

Seems to be having
a moment of clarity.

Talking about my
father, actually.

Um, w-why would you
want him to come back here?

What?

The boat, the shipment...

That's... That's none
of your business, okay?

- What boat?
- Who told you about the boat?

Did Terry tell you? Did
Terry tell you about the boat?

I told you... You
can't trust him.

You can't trust him.

[Fax machine whirs]

This is really interesting,

seeing what goes on
in the mind of a mental.

I'm thinking of becoming
a psychiatric nurse.

- You'd meet all sorts.
- Shut up.

"Camplyobacter"?

Campylobacter.

This is code.

No, it isn't. It's a
strain of bacteria.

Don't you think
it's a bit convenient

that this comes in right now?

I'm a doctor.

I tend to get faxes
about medical things.

This is about me.

What does it say?

A local baker has
a bacterial infection

associated with raw
chicken and bird feces.

I don't see your
name here anywhere.

You're a liar.

I know you're lying.

I want you to tell me
what's really going on here.

PETERS: Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Get rid of him.

Get rid of him.

You don't think he
might find it suspicious

that I'm strapped to a chair?

Probably.

DOC MARTIN: I'm with
a patient! Out in a minute!

Ah.

Mr. Peters.

How nice to see you again.

Look, Ellingham,
you've forced my hand.

I'm going to recommend
your removal.

Fine. Fine.

Um, just send me the
relevant papers, and I'll be off.

This could have been avoided
if you'd agreed to the course.

I'd love to go on the course.

Really?

Yeah. Uh, yeah, a-a-absolutely.

Count me in.

Well, I'll sign you up, then.

I'm your man.

It's two weeks, you
know? People skills.

Sounds super.

I will be checking
your attendance.

Thank you.

Well...

- Thank you.
- No, thank you.

Lock it! Lock it!

[Click]

Come on.

Okay, sit down.

All right, um, Jonathan,
let's, uh, put the knife down.

Doc.

Things seem muddled for you now,

but, uh, you're amongst friends.

I'll sit down.

Yeah, I think that would
be a really good idea.

Just...

I keep getting these headaches,

and they're just burning
into me right there.

I got them checked out,
but it didn't show anything.

Headaches or migraine?

I read an article last
year about the correlation

of migraines and,
uh, bipolar disorder.

Yeah, migraines, headaches...
I don't know the difference.

All I know is it
really, really hurts.

With a migraine, you get
blurred vision and nausea

and a sensitivity to light.

Yeah, but is it caused by radio
waves being beamed into my head?

- Hit him!
- JONATHAN: Get off me!

[Grunting]

Jonathan!

- [Groaning]
- LOUISA: Dad!

No, um, I didn't, uh... I...

I didn't do that.
They made me do it.

Don't do that. You'll
severe an artery.

- It really hurts.
- You'll bleed to death.

I'm the worse friend ever!

Just, um...

Fix him! Fix him. I'll pay.

I'm tied to a chair!

TERRY: [Moaning]

Right.

All right, sit...
sit... sit there.

TERRY: B-Be careful.

Oh, no, no. No, don't, please.

Please g... give me
something for the pain.

All right. Now be quiet.

TERRY: [Groaning]

Aah!

Good.

It hasn't severed the artery.

[Vomits]

You all right, there, Doc?

DOC MARTIN: I'm fine. Hold that.

- Can I have the knife?
- No, you can't.

Fine.

TERRY: You okay, Louisa?

Fine. Is it still
really hurting?

It's a bit sore, yeah.

DOC MARTIN: Stop
moving your arm.

Martin!

Put that down.

Why are you leaving
guns lie about?

- What's the matter with you?
- Shut up.

Aah!

How did you get in?
The front door is locked.

I came in through the kitchen.

Right. Well, that
makes more sense.

Okay, 12:00.12:00.

We need to, um... We need
to get to the boat at 12:00.

- Um...
- You're on your own.

What? No, no, we... we need
to go and get the package.

Jonathan, I'm not
going anywhere.

Okay.

Right.

I'll go.

Yeah, I'll go.

And, um, you need to tell
me where to get the boat.

Um, and then I'll
go down there...

No, because then I'll be out
there and you'll all be here,

and you'll just call the police.

Okay, we need to get someone
else to go and get the boat.

You won't do it, so, um...

You.

You can do it. You're going.

I can't work a boat.

He's from London.

Can I just point out that
you're automatically assuming

that a woman
isn't up to the job?

Fine.

You do it.

I'm probably not strong enough.

[Knocking on door]

AL: Pauline! I
know you're in there!

Pauline!

I know you're in
there! I just want to talk!

I don't care how
long I have to wait.

You're gonna talk to me.

Go.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Is that real, is it?

Through there.

Come on.

Come on.

What's going on?

I know.

You can go.

Go where?

You need to get a boat and
pick something up at 12:00.

I can't get a boat, mate.
I-I-I'm just a plumber.

Our Mr. Crozier's suffering
a psychotic breakdown.

What does that mean?

It means he's mad.
Just do as he says.

Either you do it,

or I make a colander out of...

reception chick.

- What's a colander?
- It's a type of sieve, Al.

It's bigger than a sieve.

Aah!

My dad's got a boat.

I want to go home.

Okay, tell him. Tell him.

Three miles up the coast.

Nelson's Point. Do you know it?

Yeah.

A Spanish trawler about half
a mile from Nelson's Point.

Tell them Terry sent you.

Say, "Terry me manda
a por el paquete."

All right, yeah. Okay.

Say it... Terry me
manda a por el paquete.

Terry me manda a por...

DOC MARTIN: No.

Uh, it's, "Terry me
manda a por la paquete."

No, no. It's "a por el paquete."

Seriously!

Ticktock! Ticktock!
Ticktock! Ticktock!

Come on.

Come on!

He'll be all right, won't he?

[Door closes]

Course he will.

What is all this about, Dad?

Jonathan, will you please
take a couple of your pills?

What is in the package?

Drugs.

Oh, Dad.

You wouldn't want to be
putting this stuff up your nose.

It isn't drugs.

It's explosives.

Oh, that's much better.

We're bank robbers.

It isn't a bank.
It's a warehouse.

It has a safe in it.

TERRY: Doesn't make it a bank.

Wait.

You sent Al to
pick up explosives?

All right?

Uh, Terry me... me manda por...

Uh, Terry me manda...

Uh, Terry Glasson sent me.

Ten mucho cuidado.

Got it.

Con cuidado.

All right, yeah.

[Speaks Spanish] ¡Con cuidado!

I don't speak Spanish, mate.

[Speaks Spanish] Sí, vamanos.

You there! What do you think...

Ugh! Aah!

Oh, God.

[Telephone rings]

Surgery.

Yeah, it's me.

You got the package?

Yeah, I got it. Yeah.

Is Pauline okay?

Pauline is fine.
Pauline's great.

Who's Pauline?

Al, careful with the package.

Shh.

Okay, bring it back here.

Let me speak to the
doc. Someone's been hurt.

No, no, no. You need
to bring it back here now.

Look, someone's fallen off the
cliff near Pulver's Cove, yeah?

Al, for God's sake,
bring the bloody package!

- Shh.
- Shh!

Look, you'll get your package.

If you let me
speak to the doctor.

All right.

It's for you. No, wait.

No funny stuff.

Okay? No code.

All right. Hold on.

He said someone's
fallen off a cliff.

- And?
- He says, "And?"

He can hear me.

Al?

Well, I think he's
hurt badly, Doc.

I mean, I can't see him moving.

- Well, call the Coastguard.
- No Coastguard.

No Coastguard!

Why not?

Well, they'll see
the explosives.

The doc can go down there.

I don't know.

The doctor can
treat his patient,

and we can get
ahold of the package.

Right.

Um, okay. Uh, plumber boy?

We're coming there.

All right, everybody. Come on.

Let's go. We're leaving.
We're leaving now.

I said we're leaving!
Come on! Are you deaf?!

Oh!

[Chuckles] Just... Just...

[Grunting]

Yeah. Dad, it's me.

No, the flowers didn't work.

Uh, listen.

I'm gonna need some help.

[Grunting]

Ted?

Got one. Yeah.

Be all right now.

- [Groans]
- Oh, Ted, no.

Ellingham!

Ellingham!

Quickly! Over here!

- The... The baker fell!
- Where is he?

That bloody fool! He was
trying to steal the eggs!

I must say I expected
something better of a local man.

Okay, okay, hold
on! Hold on! Hold on!

- DOC MARTIN: [Sighs]
- Okay, where's plumber boy?

Bloody hell. That's my gun.

What's going on?

Hi. Name's Jonathan.

Okay. Okay, where
are the explosives?

What explosives?

How do you know
about the explosives?!

Colonel, has the baker
lost consciousness?

The baker? The colonel?

Do these people have no names?!

What's going on here?!

AL: Doc!

Come on.

What is so important
about the baker?

Okay, come on.

Come on!

Down there, down
there, down there.

Doc, I think he's having a fit!

Cushion his head! He
may be hemorrhaging!

- Aah!
- Oh, my God!

This is the baker they
sent you the fax about?

It's causing
pressure on his brain.

Something's
pressing into his brain?

In all probability, yeah.

Well, you've got to
get down there, man!

No.

The baker.

He's in charge of
this whole thing.

Everything has to get
coordinated through him.

Quite.

Yeah, yeah, that's why it's
been so strong down here.

He's got a transmitter
chip in his brain,

and he's been using it to
send signals into my head.

This chap's absolutely
bloody barking.

Okay, we've got to, um...

We've got to neutralize the
transmitter chip in his brain.

DOC MARTIN: We need to
get some sort of pulley system

to get the baker up here.

You're going down.

You're gonna go down there,

and you're gonna
take the transmitter chip

out of his head.

Right now.

Hello!

Doctor.

My... My lad said
you'll be needing this.

Bert, have you got a drill?

Hold tight, Doc! That's it.

Okay. Mind your back.

All right!

Hang her out now! That's good!

Let the rope keep going.

Till it gets tight.

Right, Doc?

You ready?

[Motor whirs]

Keep going!

[Whirring stops]

Just let it all out!

LOUISA: It's only
another few feet!

That's the end of the cable!

Hold on!

Come on.

[Engine turns over]

LOUISA: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Oh, God.

Not looking good, Doc.

I think he's on his way out.

That's your diagnosis, is it?

Yeah.

What's he doing up
here, anyway? Eh?

Uh, stealing chough eggs...

Hold this, Al...

And contracting a
bacterial infection

from bird feces.

He'll be all right,
though, will he?

His, uh, optic nerve is swollen

due to the increased
intercranial pressure.

Which means that your first
diagnosis could well be right...

He's not gonna make it.

Unless...

Hang on a minute.

I need to relieve the pressure

on his brain.

How you gonna do that?

- [Whirs]
- Ugh.

Uh, Doc, uh... How do you
know if you've drilled far enough?

His eyes will open.

[Whirring]

[Grunts]

PAULINE: There.

LOUISA: Just watch him.

BERT: Don't touch his head.

Give me that bag.

[Groans] You're kidding, right?

Give it.

Oh, come on. Get off!

- Give me that back.
- No.

Pauline, call an ambulance.

Tell them to expect a man
with an intercranial bleed

treated successfully by
emergency trepanation.

Accompanied by a
really annoying man

who needs sectioning
under the Mental Health Act.

Me?

Uh, I-I'll...

Al?

Uh, Ellingham, I'll...

You lock those explosives
in the boot of my car

before somebody gets blown up.

Explosives?

Oh, come on. You
carried them up a cliff.

You'll survive
the trip to the car.

Okay, I'll... I'll take
that now, thank you.

What? No, you won't.

Al, lock that up, too.

Yeah.

Uh, uh, uh...

Colonel.

I'm not going to put
up with this, you know?

DOC MARTIN: Don't be ridiculous.

You plainly aren't
remotely in control.

Oh.

Oh. It's the chip.

Thank you. Sir.

LOUISA: We got an
ordinary car here quite easily,

so you should be all right.

Yes, the both of
them. Two. Yeah.

Yeah, but I-I wouldn't put
the both of them in the same...

That's right. Yeah.

Yeah. Thank you.

On their way.

Oh. Uh, thank you.

Martin.

Um...

Yeah. Yeah, I should...

- Action man.
- [Chuckles] No.

Yeah. Totally.

Climbing up the
cliff and all that.

[Chuckles] Well, it
was quite exciting.

- You okay?
- Yeah. Shaking stopped.

Don't think I'll be setting
foot outside the house again.

Well, Portwenn,
anyway. Not for a while.

I don't know. I think you're
onto something there.

It's a big world out there.

What? You know I'd
always come back to you.

Don't you? Huh?

[Smooches]

- I do love you.
- AL: How's he doing, Doc?

DOC MARTIN: He
seems to be stabilized.

AL: Is he always gonna
have a hole in his head?

DOC MARTIN: Sit down.

I'd better go.

Dad?

Bye.

So, uh...

I'm gonna take off, then, folks.

Where did you get that bag from?

I just got the crowbar from
the big plumber man's van

and [Clicks tongue]
pried your car door open.

So thanks for that. Here it is.

I feel, uh...

[Laughs]

- Ugh!
- Thanks for all your help.

Give that... Give that back.

- No.
- Give it back to me.

Shut up!

[Birds squawking]

Excuse me.

[Siren wailing]

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