Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (2016–2017): Season 2, Episode 3 - Two Broken Fingers - full transcript
Dirk: Previously on
"Dirk Gently's Holistic
Detective Agency"...
Find Dirk Gently!
Burn down the entire
Trost farmlands. No!
Have you noticed an acceleration
of strangeness in your life?
What do you mean,
you lost Dirk Gently?
How did he escape?
Find the boy.
[ Grunts ]
I'm free.
Hobbs: You are under arrest.
Todd: For what?
Tina: Marina Cardenas?
Hobbs:
I found them with her body.
I'm Sheriff Sherlock Hobbs,
and this is my deputy,
Tina Tevetino.
Dirk: There's a person
in this tree?
They've both been missing
for the past 50 years.
I know where to go.
You asked for Mr. Priest?
♪♪
♪♪
[ Swords clanging,
distant shouting ]
Burn my farm...
kill my son!
They're all bloody
going to die!
Father!
Father Jeppum,
we don't know that this
was the Dengdamors,
and we don't know
that Panto is dead!
Panto is missing.
Want me to think
that they took him
on some kind of holiday?
He said he was trying
to get to the other world.
He said Wakti Wapnasi
was going to help him
to fulfill the prophecy.
Our home is Inglenook,
and the Dengdamors plan
on burning it all away.
It's only because of
the missing boy,
Farson!
The Dengdamors think
we're responsible.
If we could just find him --
Find the boy?
Find the boy?!
My son,
your brother, is dead.
Shame you, Litzibitz!
[ Crowd murmuring angrily ]
Shame you!
Kellum Knights!
Halt!
Father!
Pleasant evening, Sir Trost.
Did you bring
the weapon you showed me?
In the box,
a gift from the Mage.
These men
serve the Mage, Father.
The evil that will tear
our world apart.
Abandon the prophecy.
This...
This is real.
Death to the Dengdamors!
[ Cheering ]
♪♪
♪♪
[ Door opening ]
Rise and shine, everybody!
We got a full of day of...
well, nothing.
But now that you guys are up,
you want to hang out?
What's happening?
Are we free to go?
Just 'cause
you're prisoners
does not mean you have to live
like caged animals.
Actually, the term "prisoner"
literally --
Means something different today
than it used to.
Words change meaning.
Like "literally,"
which now figuratively
means "totally."
So it's perfectly
acceptable to say --
It's too early for this.
Excuse me, Tina,
I know this is
a strange ask,
but, um, do you have
any clothes I could wear?
Clothes? Sure.
We got all sorts
of old uniforms.
You're offering us...
police uniforms?
Old ones.
Plus, if you want to look,
Hobbs has got stuff
in evidence lock-up
from the campgrounds every year
after Sound of Nothing,
since, like, the '80s.
And by "Sound of Nothing,"
you mean...
It's a music festival.
You're telling me
you've got, like,
vintage police uniforms
and old rock star,
hippy clothes,
and you're just willing
to let us wear them?
Yep. Want to come on out
and take a look?
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Door.
Oh, yeah, sorry, sorry!
[ Keys jingling ]
♪♪
Hmm.
Best case ever.
Wait, don't look yet.
Okay, come on.
It's not like I haven't
seen it all before.
Not in this harsh lighting.
You look great, though.
It suits you.
This feels wrong.
I mean, yeah, I've wanted
to work in law enforcement
my entire life,
just like the rest
of my family, but...
I mean, a uniform is
something to be...earned.
Wait...
Ma'am, do you have any idea
how fast you were going?
Oh, officer,
was I going too fast?
Yep. I became a cop
'cause I love guns
every bit as much
as I hate fun --
Okay, you're ruining it.
Right.
- Sorry!
- Mm-hmm.
♪♪
Oh...okay.
[ Chuckling ]
Would you look at that?
Todd: Whoa.
Nice chisel work, Sheriff.
Would you like
to give it a try?
No, I'm...
I read in your file that
you're trained in this stuff.
Come on.
No, really --
Otherwise, we got to
call the coroner.
He's two hours away.
Come on. Why not?
Well, laws.
All the laws, but --
Just take it.
Yeah.
Hey! Dirk!
We've got a dead body
in a tree in here,
and they're letting us poke it.
Do you want to take a look?
Um...
This is like the most
Dirk-type deal I've ever seen.
I think I'm okay out here
for now, thank you, Todd.
You all seem to have
the tree...man under control,
so...
Maybe he's squeamish.
He's not.
[ Compressed air hissing ]
[ Gasps ]
Oh! What made
those holes? Bugs?
No.
Look at the fissures
around the hole.
It's a puncture wound.
He was already dead
when whatever put him
in a tree...
put him there.
This was a murder.
[ Sighs ]
Amanda: Vogel, I appreciate you
stealing this food for me,
but maybe let's just keep,
like, a lower profile.
Right, "profile."
I know that word.
Just...less smashing.
And if anyone asks,
you can tell them
that you're my, uh...
Son!
You're older than me.
Grandson!
Boyfriend.
What!?
Aah!
Gah!
Blah! Yah...
All right, calm down,
this is just rude now.
Bah...
♪♪
♪♪
Friedkin:
How did you find them?
Oh, come on,
finding them wasn't hard.
A rash of assaults
and vandalisms
by two young people
clad in black.
They're traveling in a car
with a "3" on it.
It's not exactly geometry.
So this has got to be
Hector Cardenas then, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, both bodies
are the same age,
only two miles apart.
Could whatever put him
inside the tree
put the car
up in the other tree?
Like some kind of tree...
weapon?
I'm just spitballing.
Maybe..
it was an accident.
An accident?
Yeah, like...
they had some kind
of argument,
and he got angry and went...
inside the tree...
and then she flew
her new car off
up into the...
sky...
What is going on
with you?
Nothing. Fine-ness.
[ Dinging ]
[ Dinging rapidly ]
♪♪
Okay, actually, what if it were
more of a case of...
Hi, Dirk.
[ Screams ]
I'd like to report a crime.
I want to understand,
I really do,
but why is there not
like, a breakdown video,
you know, just all this,
boom, ten minutes.
Done.
And it only
goes back to 2005,
after the first program
had already been shut down.
Where's all the other stuff,
from, like, the original...
Oh, it's --
it's right here.
They never had
them converted.
Apparently
it wasn't a priority.
We have a drive
to access these disks,
but they're encrypted.
We'd have to get
an authorization,
have a cyber guy sent over,
fill out a full report --
Uh...cyber, like a...
computer guy?
Like a tech...guy?
You want me to de-encrypt
a 5.25-inch floppy disk
from the year 2000?
Yes.
Like as an in-house,
sort of hush-hush deal.
A "hush-hush" deal.
Yeah, 'cause
I don't want to ask
the people above me,
the, um, the money --
you know, the supervisors,
I don't want them
to know
that I don't really
know what I'm doing,
so I thought this could be
like a you-and-me thing.
Well, encryption
on disks this old
is definitely outdated.
I mean, there is a chance
I could do it
with the right equipment.
Okay, yeah.
Anything you need, yeah.
I mean, what is this stuff?
That's the...stuff, man,
on the subjects.
Marzanna --
Bart?
The whole deal,
all the people
they used to keep in here.
And you're gonna give me access
to read all of that?
Yeah.
As a...favor?
Can I get out of this taxi?
♪♪
Hobbs:
So just right this way.
Right this way...
uh, madam.
Here we go.
Okay.
Okay, there, we're just gonna,
you know, keep you in there,
for, uh, just for right now.
Look, this is pointless.
Nothing can keep me captured.
You think I haven't been
in one of these before?
If I want it open,
it'll just open 'cause it's old
or broken or whatever.
I'm not the person out there
attacking people with shapes.
Hey...
do you guys know Ken?
Ken Schmidt?
6'6", red hair?
There are two Kens?
Okay, enough.
What happened to you?
Oh, I'm not
talking to you.
I'm only talking
to real police officers.
You know what,
this woman,
she stabbed me
in the leg,
so I'm not talking
to you two until you --
Fine!
Fine by me.
Hobbs: Uh, Tina?
[ Clears throat ] Okay.
Whose blood
is on you right now?
Okay, so I was killing people
down by this hole
after I fell off my bike.
They're all dead,
but there's
this woman there,
and she's screaming and crying,
and so I says to her,
"I will not kill you."
She picks up this stick,
and she shoots these shapes
into the air,
and then bam!
I go down into this big hole!
I mean, what's that
about, right?
Well, I didn't even kill her,
and she attacked me
for no reason.
Have you ever
had somebody
attack you
for no reason?
Y- You tried to kill me!
Dirk, I did not
kill you two times.
Right now, it makes three times
I'm not killing you.
I mean, we're practically
best friends.
Hobbs:
Whoa, I'm just gonna...
Hey, uh, just
take a time-out here,
I want to rewind you
back a little bit.
Did you say that
you were killing people?
Look, I'm trying to be better.
You know? I'm trying
to take control of my life.
So I'm killing some people,
and not other people.
The woman
who attacked you,
do you remember
anything else about her?
Yeah, she had yellow hair,
and she couldn't walk right,
and she made a noise like, uh...
"Oh, my God!
Please don't kill me!"
Blech.
Give us a second.
Be right back.
Blonde hair and a limp.
That sounds like Suzie Boreton.
Yes, of course.
Together:
Who is she?
Married to Bob Boreton.
He manages
the Sit and Stay Put Motel.
That's where
we were staying.
Shit, I knew the name
Cardenas was familiar.
It was on the sign
for the motel.
That's right,
they owned it in the '60s.
Yeah! Ah, man! Ah!
T- That's a...
This is one of the, uh...
Everything
is connected?
Yes! Yes!
Bart: Arrest her
and shoot her in the face!
She's...less catchy.
[ Instrumental version of
"Mr. Sandman" playing ]
♪♪
[ Knocking ]
Jeanette!
Hi! Ooh...
[ Squeals ]
Hello, ladies.
I am so excited
for book club today.
Or more like wine club,
if you know what I'm saying?
[ Laughing ]
♪♪
♪♪
Come on out.
Hey, Hobbs, I meant to say,
I really appreciate
the "not turning us in
and letting us
come along" thing.
Oh, yeah,
well, you know,
things get pretty slow
around here.
So, let me ask you,
what, um,
what's your deal?
I mean, does he, uh...
Well, does he pay you?
He's my friend.
He helps me.
Or not exactly "helps,"
but it's good to know
that not everything
happens for a reason,
like, maybe
some things do?
Huh.
Yeah, yeah...
Yeah, I like that.
[ Knocks ]
[ Knocking ]
Something feels strange.
That's a good sign. It means
we're close to something.
No, no, nothing holistic,
it's just, uh...
if nobody's home,
why isn't the dog barking?
Yeah, the dog should be
barking its head off right now.
The dang thing is
always in a tantrum.
Wait.
Where's Dirk?
♪♪
Oh.
Excuse me.
Hello.
Sorry to interrupt your...
whatever this is,
uh, but my name is Dirk Gently.
I'm a detective working
with local law enforcement.
Uh, okay, listen.
Whoa, you seem...ill.
Are you distressed, or --
Okay, listen, maybe actually
just very scary.
So, I, uh...
I'm -- I'm here about an
incident... [ Growling ]
...that may have involved
your wife,
and a very murdery
type of person
who identifies as "Bart,"
but I'm sure you're fine,
actually,
and come to think of it,
I should maybe be going.
[ Gulps ]
[ Snarling ]
[ Groaning ]
Dirk!
♪♪
Huh? Todd!
Oh!
Put the gol-darn
gun down, Bob.
[ Slurring ]
Trespassing.
Bob, do you
hear me?
Put the goddamn
gun down, Bob!
[ Cocking gun ]
[ Groans ]
[ Grunts ]
Where'd you get
the brass knuckles from?
You didn't --
You didn't search us.
Right.
♪♪
May I make a professional
recommendation?
Let me kill
Incubus Number Four.
Uh, kill him?
N- No, we're supposed
to capture subjects.
All right.
Project Incubus was originally
only three individuals.
Once we added the fourth,
things got out of control,
so if things go oblong
out here,
it might be a good idea to just
casualty the both of them,
Incubus Four
and the Brotzman girl, too.
Sh-She's just a civilian.
I read in your file that you
almost shot her in the head.
So why is she
so important now?
We can use her to control them.
She's valuable,
these people are valuable.
Yeah, well...
you're way over there,
and I'm over here.
We'll see how it goes.
Yeah, well, good luck.
There's no way you're gonna be
able to sneak up on them,
'cause won't the energy vampire
just smell you coming?
We'll see how it goes.
Farah: The stab wounds seem
random at first observation,
but they're not.
They're on the same
geometric line
even though they go off
in two different directions.
Hmm.
Wasn't the middle
and index finger
on the other corpse broken?
Right,
uh, but she's all broken up
from the crash, isn't she?
Yeah,
but those two fingers...
[ Clicks tongue ]
Oh, never mind,
it's probably nothing.
You're sad!
What?
Is it about you and Todd?
No, we're just friends.
You and Dirk?
Oh! Are they together?
'Cause I was getting that vibe,
not strongly,
but I could see
how someone would, like...
No, Todd isn't...
Or rather, Dirk --
I don't think he --
You know, actually,
I don't know what Dirk is.
Hey, man, it's cool.
I'm bi.
No judgment here.
I just thought maybe
that's why you're sad.
I'm not sad.
I'm sort of an empath.
I think.
Truth is, I'm coming
out of a 10- to...
15-year dark period
where I experimented
with some pretty heavy drugs.
[ Chuckles ]
[ Telephone rings ]
Yeah, Hobbs?
Scott: Someone might have
hit someone with their car,
but if they did,
it definitely wasn't me.
Uh, who is this?
Mile Marker 127.
Scott Boreton, is that you?
Ugh!
Weird.
Who was that?
I think that was Scott Boreton,
and I think
he just reported
a hit-and-run.
Want to go check it out?
[ Wheezing ]
There ya go, Bob.
You're okay.
What's wrong with him?
Well, that crack
on the noggin didn't help,
but he's showing no signs
of concussion, at least.
I did find these, though --
Percocet --
plus an empty
bottle of wine out there.
I think he just needs
to sleep it off.
What? I don't get it.
You're not going
to arrest him?
Well, no, technically,
we were the ones trespassing.
He pulled
a gun on us.
That's true,
but he didn't --
he didn't actually
shoot it at anybody.
Yeah, because
I stopped him.
This is like
my ultimate nightmare.
I'm telling a cop
how to do their job.
Look, man, I'm not
going to just wander around
arresting everyone.
You are literally
a police officer.
Dirk:
This is connected.
[ Bob snoring ]
Well...
Everything in your town
has gone weird
in a three-day span,
and your fallback
is "it's a coincidence"
when you have a man
literally telling you,
"I'm here to deal with
all the weird coincidences."
Acknowledge and engage
the bizarre and preposterous
set of events befalling you,
or be swept under them
and drown!
That was
a little bit harsher
than the speech
you gave me, Dirk.
[ Door closes ]
He's got a lot
on his mind.
No, no, no, that's fine.
I understand.
[ Police radio crackles ]
Tina:
Farah's making me call you.
Why?
Well, we had to go out
on a call,
and the prisoner, Bart,
we left her alone.
Well, now, Tina, you left
the dang prisoner alone?
Well, we got a call!
Heckin' dang it.
Okay, come on,
we got to go.
Tina...
[ Clicks tongue ]
Happy now?
Weed gummy?
♪ I can hear it in your voice
when you're callin' my name ♪
♪ You know I got you, girl ♪
♪ You used to be a high signer ♪
♪ No time for a player
like me... ♪
You don't mind
holding my gun, right?
No.
Mm. It hurts
when I'm driving.
That's 'cause
it's a bad holster for you.
For your body type,
you'd need a shoulder holster
or a sling.
[ Chuckles and snorts ]
Man, how do you remember
all this stuff, huh?
My father.
When I was young,
he put me in classes.
For all sorts of
advanced placement.
He'd teach me
some of them.
It was fun.
Sounds intense.
I like intense.
♪ I got you hooked... ♪
Hey, there it is.
Mile marker 127.
♪♪
Gun.
♪♪
Someone was struck
by a car right here.
That looks like blood.
Hey...
Whoever it was came from here.
Look.
These footprints
are distinctive.
Yep,
I've seen these before.
These are the same shoes
leading out of
the Cardenas farmhouse.
Wouldn't a normal person
who gets hit by a car
stay on the road?
This person just
walks off into a field.
All right, come on.
We can follow
the crooked stems
through the high grass.
Your dad teach you
this one, too?
No.
This was the Army Rangers.
Power Rangers?
Army Rangers...
Woman: Who saw last night's
episode of "That is Them"?
Don't say another word!
I'm not caught up.
Jeanette,
you can't fall behind!
The best thing about book club
is talking about TV.
[ Laughter ]
[ Sighs dramatically ]
Is something wrong?
No.
Nothing.
I mean...
look at me!
[ Giggles ]
Guys, come on.
Look at me!
Yes, we've seen you.
So, why haven't you
said anything?
Frankly, we don't know
what to say.
It's bizarre.
And you know
you're not invited
to book club anymore.
I mean, it's worrying,
you coming in here
like this,
like you're having some kind
of psychiatric breakdown.
"Worried"?
Now you're worried
about me?
You've never cared about me.
None of you.
You've just made fun of me
behind my back.
For Scotty
always getting detention,
or that our house
is a little run down,
or that I have to work
at the quarry
and I don't have
a nice ladylike job.
Hmm?
Well, I'm sorry.
Our family needs
two incomes.
We can't all have husbands
who rake in the big bucks
as tractor salesmen,
or grain co-op managers,
or franchise owners
of Gas 'n' Gulp.
So just...put me down
to make yourselves feel better.
But I'm tryin'.
I'm tryin'.
I am out here on my own,
and I get nothin'...
nothin' but dirt
from all of you...
[Voice breaking] even though
I have always been
the nice one.
Always.
You screwed my boyfriend.
That was high school, Karen!
I needed friends!
You were prom queen.
You had all the friends, Suzie.
You can't be that deluded.
So it's jealousy.
Because you all
abandoned me --
We abandoned you?
You told everyone that Lisa
screwed Mr. Hauser --
Lisa told everyone I was smoking
cigarettes behind the gym!
You were!
Oh, who cares?!
Really? This is what
you all focus on? Huh?
You all think you're so...
Yeah, well, where were you
during the accident, huh?
Where were you
when I couldn't walk?
[ Sobbing ]
And my hip --
The accident?
You were driving on a Xanax
when you crashed your dang car.
You were driving
carpool.
My kid was in that car,
and you expect me to worry
about your dang hip?
Are you some kind
of freakin' idiot?!
You didn't even
call to apologize!
You've been avoiding all of us,
holed up in that house
with your poor stupid husband,
limpin' around
feelin' sorry for yourself
for four years,
like you're some kind
of underdog hero.
Well, you're not, Suzie.
You're not!
You're one of the bad guys!
Vensas!
Mm-hmm...
Pink hair.
Halt where you stand!
Hey. Easy...
Why are you following me?
Why does this bear
the insignia of The Mage?
What was the metal creature
that attacked me?
Tina!
Sorry! Sorry. Sorry.
Sorry!
Put down the scissors,
and we'll talk about it!
Put down the scissors.
Put 'em down, man!
♪♪
Tina! Yo-yo!
♪♪
♪♪
[ Sighs ]
[ Cheering ] Whoo!
Yeah, girl!
I mean, it's cool.
I'm cool.
It's cool.
It's a good job, though.
[ Dinging ]
Hey! What are you --
There you are.
Where did you go?
Did you get her?
How'd you get the bell
from out here into your cell?
Maybe don't get
so close to that.
Right, thank you.
Bart: Hey, I'm not talking to you
anymore until you find the lady...
Todd: You're being weird.
Even for you.
Well, I was just
thrown through a doghouse
by a zombie, Todd, so--
You were being weird
before that.
Don't you think
all of this relates back
to finding the boy?
I...I...
I thought you were excited
about being on a new case.
What's with the attitude?
I am.
Or --
Yeah, I-I was, but...
Why do you have
Pararibulitis, Todd?
Why?
Exactly.
[ Bart ringing bell ]
Bart: Find the lady,
and I'll give you the bell!
Find the lady,
and I'll give you the bell!
[ Muttering ]
It's okay...
It'll be okay...
God, Mom, where you been?
There's nothing to eat!
I'm starving!
Yeah,
Honey, hi, I'm sorry.
I was busy today.
You know, Dad's sleeping
in his room.
Looks like he hit his head.
His head? Hmm!
And I can't find
the dog anywhere.
And you look...
weird,
like, different.
Ugh, okay, I don't want
to talk about it, all right?
Just -- Just give me
my phone back.
Your phone?
Your phone...
♪♪
Shit.
♪♪
This is it.
This place is important.
Something happens here
or happened here.
I can't tell.
So, what now, boss?
♪♪
18.
Thank you.
♪♪
♪♪
Holy shit.
My name is on this pill bottle.
Ha!
How can that even
possibly be?
Oh, my God.
No way.
Todd?
[ Engine revving ]
[ Techno music playing ]
Oh, no way,
no way, no way!
Drummer!
You did it!
You found them!
Wait!
Let me go, man!
What's your malfunction?
No, no, no,
something's not --
Guys!
Guys!
Hello, Vogel.
No...
Y- You?
It's Blackwing.
It's Blackwing. It's Black--
It's Blackwing!
It's Blackwing!
[ Sobbing ]
It's Blackwing!
You can talk to me,
you know.
He's got pink hair.
The unconscious guy,
he's got pink hair.
Because of course he does.
Dirk, why did you ask me
why I had Pararibulitis?
Because...
[ Sighs ]
When I was in Blackwing,
I wanted to get out so badly.
I had this fantasy
that I would escape
and just go right back
to you and Farah,
and we would start
the detective agency,
and it would be brilliant.
We would solve mysteries
and help people,
and it would all be somehow...
I don't know, better.
Calmer.
But nothing's better.
Nothing's calmer.
It all just is...
and always will be.
You're not a pawn, Dirk.
It's not, like...
predestined.
Fate and chance
don't cancel each other out.
You don't know that.
Yes, I do.
I've seen it.
I've seen you fail,
but I've also seen you win.
You can't let the universe
push you around.
That's how you end up
getting slammed
through doghouses.
You have to make
bigger choices.
You want answers?
[ British accent ]
Take control of your life, Dirk.
Was that your British accent?
That was awful.
That was -- I don't do accents.
No, I love it.
Yo.
Pink hair's awake.
♪♪
♪♪
[ Whimpering ]
[ Gasps ]
[ Gagging ]
Ah! [ Gasps ]
[ Sighs ]
[ Panting ]
[ Gasps ]
♪♪
♪♪
Vensas!
♪♪
♪♪
I know you're there.
♪♪
I believe you have
something of mine.
I'd like it back.
If you won't give it,
I'll have to take it.
♪♪
[ Grunting ]
No. No!
No, it's mine!
Ah!
[ Chuckles ]
Hello again, Suzanne Boreton.
[ Engine starts ]
What a pleasant surprise.
My name is Panto Trost,
Lord Prince
of the Valley of Inglenook
in the Land of Wendimoor.
I came to your world
through the Pool
of the Empty Throne,
with help from Wakti Wapnasi,
forest witch
of the Santi Santiga,
who guides the Bofuki Nepoo.
She foretold the prophecy
I seek to enact,
that once the great dark wizard
found his apprentice,
no one in Wendimoor
could defeat him,
and his army
would come like a tide.
The only hope to save Wendimoor
is if the fiercest of foes
were united,
the great weapon is retrieved,
and she-who-sees-all
opened a door into a dream,
allowing through a man,
who, with him,
would bring a boy...
the boy who would save
our world.
Um...
Just quickly --
who is the dark wizard,
who is his apprentice,
who are the foes,
who is "she,"
what is the dream,
who is the man,
what is the "great weapon,"
and, perhaps most importantly,
who is the boy?
Hmm...
These things I know not.
I have only one answer.
The man who could bring the boy,
the man
who could save my family,
my world...
his name is Dirk Gently.
♪♪
♪ Hey! ♪
♪♪
Do you know Ken?
♪♪
It's not
supposed to go this way.
The voice said
I can die here
or things can change.
Priest: [ Over megaphone ]
How long do y'all plan
for this to go on for?
Honest question.
I'm trying to be a friend here.
So what's the big plan?
You know, what's the end game?
[ Squeaks ]
Jacob!
Amanda!
I could bring you back
to the boys.
I have the rest
of Project Incubus.
They are just waiting for you.
This could have
a very happy ending.
Yeah. Yeah,
good, good, good.
Okay, okay...
Wh-What do we do?
I don't know.
This isn't how this ends.
What?
This isn't how this ends.
Something else
is supposed to happen.
I am supposed
to do something.
Look, I know that guy.
What if he's truthing,
and the guys are out there
waiting for me?
Vogel, he is not
telling you the truth.
The Rowdy 3
are my family, boss!
You said
you would help me find them.
What if --
What if this is it?
Vogel...
you're all I've got left.
Please listen to me.
Okay?
Don't go out there.
What's it gonna be,
Ms. Brotzman?
Here we go.
Okay.
♪♪
[ Coughing ]
Oh, I'm sorry, boys.
[ Vogel screams ]
I can't stay in here!
That's the shit!
That shit!
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
Gah!
[ Bones crunch ]
Not so spooky now,
eh, Dracula?
[ Wrist snaps ]
Aah!
Yes! Yes, subdue him!
Detain him now!
I'll do things on my calendar,
Mr. Friedkin, thank you.
[ Wrist snaps ]
Aah!
Aah!
Oh!
Come on!
Come on.
[ Groans ]
Things have gotten
out of control.
I'm switching to lethal.
Friedkin: No, no,
capture them alive!
[ Cocking gun ]
I'm taking the shot.
No, do not take the shot!
That is an order.
Do not take the shot.
I'm taking the shot.
Do not take the shot!
I'm taking the shot.
♪♪
♪♪
[ Chuckling ]
[ Groaning ]
I took the shot.
No, no, something's wrong,
something's wrong, okay?
Someone's got to
do something!
Someone's going
to do something -- Aah!
[ Screams ]
♪♪
♪♪
[ Cocks gun ]
[ Whistles ]
I'm sorry, boss!
I messed up!
I messed up!
Whoever you are,
if you're gonna do something,
why don't you do it now?!
Do it now!
[ Gunfire,
Amanda and Vogel scream ]
Don't do -- Oh...
[ Groaning ]
♪♪
♪♪
Yeah, they vanished.
They vanished?
[ Squeaks ]
Hoo, boy...
This is gonna be a wild one!
"Dirk Gently's Holistic
Detective Agency"...
Find Dirk Gently!
Burn down the entire
Trost farmlands. No!
Have you noticed an acceleration
of strangeness in your life?
What do you mean,
you lost Dirk Gently?
How did he escape?
Find the boy.
[ Grunts ]
I'm free.
Hobbs: You are under arrest.
Todd: For what?
Tina: Marina Cardenas?
Hobbs:
I found them with her body.
I'm Sheriff Sherlock Hobbs,
and this is my deputy,
Tina Tevetino.
Dirk: There's a person
in this tree?
They've both been missing
for the past 50 years.
I know where to go.
You asked for Mr. Priest?
♪♪
♪♪
[ Swords clanging,
distant shouting ]
Burn my farm...
kill my son!
They're all bloody
going to die!
Father!
Father Jeppum,
we don't know that this
was the Dengdamors,
and we don't know
that Panto is dead!
Panto is missing.
Want me to think
that they took him
on some kind of holiday?
He said he was trying
to get to the other world.
He said Wakti Wapnasi
was going to help him
to fulfill the prophecy.
Our home is Inglenook,
and the Dengdamors plan
on burning it all away.
It's only because of
the missing boy,
Farson!
The Dengdamors think
we're responsible.
If we could just find him --
Find the boy?
Find the boy?!
My son,
your brother, is dead.
Shame you, Litzibitz!
[ Crowd murmuring angrily ]
Shame you!
Kellum Knights!
Halt!
Father!
Pleasant evening, Sir Trost.
Did you bring
the weapon you showed me?
In the box,
a gift from the Mage.
These men
serve the Mage, Father.
The evil that will tear
our world apart.
Abandon the prophecy.
This...
This is real.
Death to the Dengdamors!
[ Cheering ]
♪♪
♪♪
[ Door opening ]
Rise and shine, everybody!
We got a full of day of...
well, nothing.
But now that you guys are up,
you want to hang out?
What's happening?
Are we free to go?
Just 'cause
you're prisoners
does not mean you have to live
like caged animals.
Actually, the term "prisoner"
literally --
Means something different today
than it used to.
Words change meaning.
Like "literally,"
which now figuratively
means "totally."
So it's perfectly
acceptable to say --
It's too early for this.
Excuse me, Tina,
I know this is
a strange ask,
but, um, do you have
any clothes I could wear?
Clothes? Sure.
We got all sorts
of old uniforms.
You're offering us...
police uniforms?
Old ones.
Plus, if you want to look,
Hobbs has got stuff
in evidence lock-up
from the campgrounds every year
after Sound of Nothing,
since, like, the '80s.
And by "Sound of Nothing,"
you mean...
It's a music festival.
You're telling me
you've got, like,
vintage police uniforms
and old rock star,
hippy clothes,
and you're just willing
to let us wear them?
Yep. Want to come on out
and take a look?
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Door.
Oh, yeah, sorry, sorry!
[ Keys jingling ]
♪♪
Hmm.
Best case ever.
Wait, don't look yet.
Okay, come on.
It's not like I haven't
seen it all before.
Not in this harsh lighting.
You look great, though.
It suits you.
This feels wrong.
I mean, yeah, I've wanted
to work in law enforcement
my entire life,
just like the rest
of my family, but...
I mean, a uniform is
something to be...earned.
Wait...
Ma'am, do you have any idea
how fast you were going?
Oh, officer,
was I going too fast?
Yep. I became a cop
'cause I love guns
every bit as much
as I hate fun --
Okay, you're ruining it.
Right.
- Sorry!
- Mm-hmm.
♪♪
Oh...okay.
[ Chuckling ]
Would you look at that?
Todd: Whoa.
Nice chisel work, Sheriff.
Would you like
to give it a try?
No, I'm...
I read in your file that
you're trained in this stuff.
Come on.
No, really --
Otherwise, we got to
call the coroner.
He's two hours away.
Come on. Why not?
Well, laws.
All the laws, but --
Just take it.
Yeah.
Hey! Dirk!
We've got a dead body
in a tree in here,
and they're letting us poke it.
Do you want to take a look?
Um...
This is like the most
Dirk-type deal I've ever seen.
I think I'm okay out here
for now, thank you, Todd.
You all seem to have
the tree...man under control,
so...
Maybe he's squeamish.
He's not.
[ Compressed air hissing ]
[ Gasps ]
Oh! What made
those holes? Bugs?
No.
Look at the fissures
around the hole.
It's a puncture wound.
He was already dead
when whatever put him
in a tree...
put him there.
This was a murder.
[ Sighs ]
Amanda: Vogel, I appreciate you
stealing this food for me,
but maybe let's just keep,
like, a lower profile.
Right, "profile."
I know that word.
Just...less smashing.
And if anyone asks,
you can tell them
that you're my, uh...
Son!
You're older than me.
Grandson!
Boyfriend.
What!?
Aah!
Gah!
Blah! Yah...
All right, calm down,
this is just rude now.
Bah...
♪♪
♪♪
Friedkin:
How did you find them?
Oh, come on,
finding them wasn't hard.
A rash of assaults
and vandalisms
by two young people
clad in black.
They're traveling in a car
with a "3" on it.
It's not exactly geometry.
So this has got to be
Hector Cardenas then, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, both bodies
are the same age,
only two miles apart.
Could whatever put him
inside the tree
put the car
up in the other tree?
Like some kind of tree...
weapon?
I'm just spitballing.
Maybe..
it was an accident.
An accident?
Yeah, like...
they had some kind
of argument,
and he got angry and went...
inside the tree...
and then she flew
her new car off
up into the...
sky...
What is going on
with you?
Nothing. Fine-ness.
[ Dinging ]
[ Dinging rapidly ]
♪♪
Okay, actually, what if it were
more of a case of...
Hi, Dirk.
[ Screams ]
I'd like to report a crime.
I want to understand,
I really do,
but why is there not
like, a breakdown video,
you know, just all this,
boom, ten minutes.
Done.
And it only
goes back to 2005,
after the first program
had already been shut down.
Where's all the other stuff,
from, like, the original...
Oh, it's --
it's right here.
They never had
them converted.
Apparently
it wasn't a priority.
We have a drive
to access these disks,
but they're encrypted.
We'd have to get
an authorization,
have a cyber guy sent over,
fill out a full report --
Uh...cyber, like a...
computer guy?
Like a tech...guy?
You want me to de-encrypt
a 5.25-inch floppy disk
from the year 2000?
Yes.
Like as an in-house,
sort of hush-hush deal.
A "hush-hush" deal.
Yeah, 'cause
I don't want to ask
the people above me,
the, um, the money --
you know, the supervisors,
I don't want them
to know
that I don't really
know what I'm doing,
so I thought this could be
like a you-and-me thing.
Well, encryption
on disks this old
is definitely outdated.
I mean, there is a chance
I could do it
with the right equipment.
Okay, yeah.
Anything you need, yeah.
I mean, what is this stuff?
That's the...stuff, man,
on the subjects.
Marzanna --
Bart?
The whole deal,
all the people
they used to keep in here.
And you're gonna give me access
to read all of that?
Yeah.
As a...favor?
Can I get out of this taxi?
♪♪
Hobbs:
So just right this way.
Right this way...
uh, madam.
Here we go.
Okay.
Okay, there, we're just gonna,
you know, keep you in there,
for, uh, just for right now.
Look, this is pointless.
Nothing can keep me captured.
You think I haven't been
in one of these before?
If I want it open,
it'll just open 'cause it's old
or broken or whatever.
I'm not the person out there
attacking people with shapes.
Hey...
do you guys know Ken?
Ken Schmidt?
6'6", red hair?
There are two Kens?
Okay, enough.
What happened to you?
Oh, I'm not
talking to you.
I'm only talking
to real police officers.
You know what,
this woman,
she stabbed me
in the leg,
so I'm not talking
to you two until you --
Fine!
Fine by me.
Hobbs: Uh, Tina?
[ Clears throat ] Okay.
Whose blood
is on you right now?
Okay, so I was killing people
down by this hole
after I fell off my bike.
They're all dead,
but there's
this woman there,
and she's screaming and crying,
and so I says to her,
"I will not kill you."
She picks up this stick,
and she shoots these shapes
into the air,
and then bam!
I go down into this big hole!
I mean, what's that
about, right?
Well, I didn't even kill her,
and she attacked me
for no reason.
Have you ever
had somebody
attack you
for no reason?
Y- You tried to kill me!
Dirk, I did not
kill you two times.
Right now, it makes three times
I'm not killing you.
I mean, we're practically
best friends.
Hobbs:
Whoa, I'm just gonna...
Hey, uh, just
take a time-out here,
I want to rewind you
back a little bit.
Did you say that
you were killing people?
Look, I'm trying to be better.
You know? I'm trying
to take control of my life.
So I'm killing some people,
and not other people.
The woman
who attacked you,
do you remember
anything else about her?
Yeah, she had yellow hair,
and she couldn't walk right,
and she made a noise like, uh...
"Oh, my God!
Please don't kill me!"
Blech.
Give us a second.
Be right back.
Blonde hair and a limp.
That sounds like Suzie Boreton.
Yes, of course.
Together:
Who is she?
Married to Bob Boreton.
He manages
the Sit and Stay Put Motel.
That's where
we were staying.
Shit, I knew the name
Cardenas was familiar.
It was on the sign
for the motel.
That's right,
they owned it in the '60s.
Yeah! Ah, man! Ah!
T- That's a...
This is one of the, uh...
Everything
is connected?
Yes! Yes!
Bart: Arrest her
and shoot her in the face!
She's...less catchy.
[ Instrumental version of
"Mr. Sandman" playing ]
♪♪
[ Knocking ]
Jeanette!
Hi! Ooh...
[ Squeals ]
Hello, ladies.
I am so excited
for book club today.
Or more like wine club,
if you know what I'm saying?
[ Laughing ]
♪♪
♪♪
Come on out.
Hey, Hobbs, I meant to say,
I really appreciate
the "not turning us in
and letting us
come along" thing.
Oh, yeah,
well, you know,
things get pretty slow
around here.
So, let me ask you,
what, um,
what's your deal?
I mean, does he, uh...
Well, does he pay you?
He's my friend.
He helps me.
Or not exactly "helps,"
but it's good to know
that not everything
happens for a reason,
like, maybe
some things do?
Huh.
Yeah, yeah...
Yeah, I like that.
[ Knocks ]
[ Knocking ]
Something feels strange.
That's a good sign. It means
we're close to something.
No, no, nothing holistic,
it's just, uh...
if nobody's home,
why isn't the dog barking?
Yeah, the dog should be
barking its head off right now.
The dang thing is
always in a tantrum.
Wait.
Where's Dirk?
♪♪
Oh.
Excuse me.
Hello.
Sorry to interrupt your...
whatever this is,
uh, but my name is Dirk Gently.
I'm a detective working
with local law enforcement.
Uh, okay, listen.
Whoa, you seem...ill.
Are you distressed, or --
Okay, listen, maybe actually
just very scary.
So, I, uh...
I'm -- I'm here about an
incident... [ Growling ]
...that may have involved
your wife,
and a very murdery
type of person
who identifies as "Bart,"
but I'm sure you're fine,
actually,
and come to think of it,
I should maybe be going.
[ Gulps ]
[ Snarling ]
[ Groaning ]
Dirk!
♪♪
Huh? Todd!
Oh!
Put the gol-darn
gun down, Bob.
[ Slurring ]
Trespassing.
Bob, do you
hear me?
Put the goddamn
gun down, Bob!
[ Cocking gun ]
[ Groans ]
[ Grunts ]
Where'd you get
the brass knuckles from?
You didn't --
You didn't search us.
Right.
♪♪
May I make a professional
recommendation?
Let me kill
Incubus Number Four.
Uh, kill him?
N- No, we're supposed
to capture subjects.
All right.
Project Incubus was originally
only three individuals.
Once we added the fourth,
things got out of control,
so if things go oblong
out here,
it might be a good idea to just
casualty the both of them,
Incubus Four
and the Brotzman girl, too.
Sh-She's just a civilian.
I read in your file that you
almost shot her in the head.
So why is she
so important now?
We can use her to control them.
She's valuable,
these people are valuable.
Yeah, well...
you're way over there,
and I'm over here.
We'll see how it goes.
Yeah, well, good luck.
There's no way you're gonna be
able to sneak up on them,
'cause won't the energy vampire
just smell you coming?
We'll see how it goes.
Farah: The stab wounds seem
random at first observation,
but they're not.
They're on the same
geometric line
even though they go off
in two different directions.
Hmm.
Wasn't the middle
and index finger
on the other corpse broken?
Right,
uh, but she's all broken up
from the crash, isn't she?
Yeah,
but those two fingers...
[ Clicks tongue ]
Oh, never mind,
it's probably nothing.
You're sad!
What?
Is it about you and Todd?
No, we're just friends.
You and Dirk?
Oh! Are they together?
'Cause I was getting that vibe,
not strongly,
but I could see
how someone would, like...
No, Todd isn't...
Or rather, Dirk --
I don't think he --
You know, actually,
I don't know what Dirk is.
Hey, man, it's cool.
I'm bi.
No judgment here.
I just thought maybe
that's why you're sad.
I'm not sad.
I'm sort of an empath.
I think.
Truth is, I'm coming
out of a 10- to...
15-year dark period
where I experimented
with some pretty heavy drugs.
[ Chuckles ]
[ Telephone rings ]
Yeah, Hobbs?
Scott: Someone might have
hit someone with their car,
but if they did,
it definitely wasn't me.
Uh, who is this?
Mile Marker 127.
Scott Boreton, is that you?
Ugh!
Weird.
Who was that?
I think that was Scott Boreton,
and I think
he just reported
a hit-and-run.
Want to go check it out?
[ Wheezing ]
There ya go, Bob.
You're okay.
What's wrong with him?
Well, that crack
on the noggin didn't help,
but he's showing no signs
of concussion, at least.
I did find these, though --
Percocet --
plus an empty
bottle of wine out there.
I think he just needs
to sleep it off.
What? I don't get it.
You're not going
to arrest him?
Well, no, technically,
we were the ones trespassing.
He pulled
a gun on us.
That's true,
but he didn't --
he didn't actually
shoot it at anybody.
Yeah, because
I stopped him.
This is like
my ultimate nightmare.
I'm telling a cop
how to do their job.
Look, man, I'm not
going to just wander around
arresting everyone.
You are literally
a police officer.
Dirk:
This is connected.
[ Bob snoring ]
Well...
Everything in your town
has gone weird
in a three-day span,
and your fallback
is "it's a coincidence"
when you have a man
literally telling you,
"I'm here to deal with
all the weird coincidences."
Acknowledge and engage
the bizarre and preposterous
set of events befalling you,
or be swept under them
and drown!
That was
a little bit harsher
than the speech
you gave me, Dirk.
[ Door closes ]
He's got a lot
on his mind.
No, no, no, that's fine.
I understand.
[ Police radio crackles ]
Tina:
Farah's making me call you.
Why?
Well, we had to go out
on a call,
and the prisoner, Bart,
we left her alone.
Well, now, Tina, you left
the dang prisoner alone?
Well, we got a call!
Heckin' dang it.
Okay, come on,
we got to go.
Tina...
[ Clicks tongue ]
Happy now?
Weed gummy?
♪ I can hear it in your voice
when you're callin' my name ♪
♪ You know I got you, girl ♪
♪ You used to be a high signer ♪
♪ No time for a player
like me... ♪
You don't mind
holding my gun, right?
No.
Mm. It hurts
when I'm driving.
That's 'cause
it's a bad holster for you.
For your body type,
you'd need a shoulder holster
or a sling.
[ Chuckles and snorts ]
Man, how do you remember
all this stuff, huh?
My father.
When I was young,
he put me in classes.
For all sorts of
advanced placement.
He'd teach me
some of them.
It was fun.
Sounds intense.
I like intense.
♪ I got you hooked... ♪
Hey, there it is.
Mile marker 127.
♪♪
Gun.
♪♪
Someone was struck
by a car right here.
That looks like blood.
Hey...
Whoever it was came from here.
Look.
These footprints
are distinctive.
Yep,
I've seen these before.
These are the same shoes
leading out of
the Cardenas farmhouse.
Wouldn't a normal person
who gets hit by a car
stay on the road?
This person just
walks off into a field.
All right, come on.
We can follow
the crooked stems
through the high grass.
Your dad teach you
this one, too?
No.
This was the Army Rangers.
Power Rangers?
Army Rangers...
Woman: Who saw last night's
episode of "That is Them"?
Don't say another word!
I'm not caught up.
Jeanette,
you can't fall behind!
The best thing about book club
is talking about TV.
[ Laughter ]
[ Sighs dramatically ]
Is something wrong?
No.
Nothing.
I mean...
look at me!
[ Giggles ]
Guys, come on.
Look at me!
Yes, we've seen you.
So, why haven't you
said anything?
Frankly, we don't know
what to say.
It's bizarre.
And you know
you're not invited
to book club anymore.
I mean, it's worrying,
you coming in here
like this,
like you're having some kind
of psychiatric breakdown.
"Worried"?
Now you're worried
about me?
You've never cared about me.
None of you.
You've just made fun of me
behind my back.
For Scotty
always getting detention,
or that our house
is a little run down,
or that I have to work
at the quarry
and I don't have
a nice ladylike job.
Hmm?
Well, I'm sorry.
Our family needs
two incomes.
We can't all have husbands
who rake in the big bucks
as tractor salesmen,
or grain co-op managers,
or franchise owners
of Gas 'n' Gulp.
So just...put me down
to make yourselves feel better.
But I'm tryin'.
I'm tryin'.
I am out here on my own,
and I get nothin'...
nothin' but dirt
from all of you...
[Voice breaking] even though
I have always been
the nice one.
Always.
You screwed my boyfriend.
That was high school, Karen!
I needed friends!
You were prom queen.
You had all the friends, Suzie.
You can't be that deluded.
So it's jealousy.
Because you all
abandoned me --
We abandoned you?
You told everyone that Lisa
screwed Mr. Hauser --
Lisa told everyone I was smoking
cigarettes behind the gym!
You were!
Oh, who cares?!
Really? This is what
you all focus on? Huh?
You all think you're so...
Yeah, well, where were you
during the accident, huh?
Where were you
when I couldn't walk?
[ Sobbing ]
And my hip --
The accident?
You were driving on a Xanax
when you crashed your dang car.
You were driving
carpool.
My kid was in that car,
and you expect me to worry
about your dang hip?
Are you some kind
of freakin' idiot?!
You didn't even
call to apologize!
You've been avoiding all of us,
holed up in that house
with your poor stupid husband,
limpin' around
feelin' sorry for yourself
for four years,
like you're some kind
of underdog hero.
Well, you're not, Suzie.
You're not!
You're one of the bad guys!
Vensas!
Mm-hmm...
Pink hair.
Halt where you stand!
Hey. Easy...
Why are you following me?
Why does this bear
the insignia of The Mage?
What was the metal creature
that attacked me?
Tina!
Sorry! Sorry. Sorry.
Sorry!
Put down the scissors,
and we'll talk about it!
Put down the scissors.
Put 'em down, man!
♪♪
Tina! Yo-yo!
♪♪
♪♪
[ Sighs ]
[ Cheering ] Whoo!
Yeah, girl!
I mean, it's cool.
I'm cool.
It's cool.
It's a good job, though.
[ Dinging ]
Hey! What are you --
There you are.
Where did you go?
Did you get her?
How'd you get the bell
from out here into your cell?
Maybe don't get
so close to that.
Right, thank you.
Bart: Hey, I'm not talking to you
anymore until you find the lady...
Todd: You're being weird.
Even for you.
Well, I was just
thrown through a doghouse
by a zombie, Todd, so--
You were being weird
before that.
Don't you think
all of this relates back
to finding the boy?
I...I...
I thought you were excited
about being on a new case.
What's with the attitude?
I am.
Or --
Yeah, I-I was, but...
Why do you have
Pararibulitis, Todd?
Why?
Exactly.
[ Bart ringing bell ]
Bart: Find the lady,
and I'll give you the bell!
Find the lady,
and I'll give you the bell!
[ Muttering ]
It's okay...
It'll be okay...
God, Mom, where you been?
There's nothing to eat!
I'm starving!
Yeah,
Honey, hi, I'm sorry.
I was busy today.
You know, Dad's sleeping
in his room.
Looks like he hit his head.
His head? Hmm!
And I can't find
the dog anywhere.
And you look...
weird,
like, different.
Ugh, okay, I don't want
to talk about it, all right?
Just -- Just give me
my phone back.
Your phone?
Your phone...
♪♪
Shit.
♪♪
This is it.
This place is important.
Something happens here
or happened here.
I can't tell.
So, what now, boss?
♪♪
18.
Thank you.
♪♪
♪♪
Holy shit.
My name is on this pill bottle.
Ha!
How can that even
possibly be?
Oh, my God.
No way.
Todd?
[ Engine revving ]
[ Techno music playing ]
Oh, no way,
no way, no way!
Drummer!
You did it!
You found them!
Wait!
Let me go, man!
What's your malfunction?
No, no, no,
something's not --
Guys!
Guys!
Hello, Vogel.
No...
Y- You?
It's Blackwing.
It's Blackwing. It's Black--
It's Blackwing!
It's Blackwing!
[ Sobbing ]
It's Blackwing!
You can talk to me,
you know.
He's got pink hair.
The unconscious guy,
he's got pink hair.
Because of course he does.
Dirk, why did you ask me
why I had Pararibulitis?
Because...
[ Sighs ]
When I was in Blackwing,
I wanted to get out so badly.
I had this fantasy
that I would escape
and just go right back
to you and Farah,
and we would start
the detective agency,
and it would be brilliant.
We would solve mysteries
and help people,
and it would all be somehow...
I don't know, better.
Calmer.
But nothing's better.
Nothing's calmer.
It all just is...
and always will be.
You're not a pawn, Dirk.
It's not, like...
predestined.
Fate and chance
don't cancel each other out.
You don't know that.
Yes, I do.
I've seen it.
I've seen you fail,
but I've also seen you win.
You can't let the universe
push you around.
That's how you end up
getting slammed
through doghouses.
You have to make
bigger choices.
You want answers?
[ British accent ]
Take control of your life, Dirk.
Was that your British accent?
That was awful.
That was -- I don't do accents.
No, I love it.
Yo.
Pink hair's awake.
♪♪
♪♪
[ Whimpering ]
[ Gasps ]
[ Gagging ]
Ah! [ Gasps ]
[ Sighs ]
[ Panting ]
[ Gasps ]
♪♪
♪♪
Vensas!
♪♪
♪♪
I know you're there.
♪♪
I believe you have
something of mine.
I'd like it back.
If you won't give it,
I'll have to take it.
♪♪
[ Grunting ]
No. No!
No, it's mine!
Ah!
[ Chuckles ]
Hello again, Suzanne Boreton.
[ Engine starts ]
What a pleasant surprise.
My name is Panto Trost,
Lord Prince
of the Valley of Inglenook
in the Land of Wendimoor.
I came to your world
through the Pool
of the Empty Throne,
with help from Wakti Wapnasi,
forest witch
of the Santi Santiga,
who guides the Bofuki Nepoo.
She foretold the prophecy
I seek to enact,
that once the great dark wizard
found his apprentice,
no one in Wendimoor
could defeat him,
and his army
would come like a tide.
The only hope to save Wendimoor
is if the fiercest of foes
were united,
the great weapon is retrieved,
and she-who-sees-all
opened a door into a dream,
allowing through a man,
who, with him,
would bring a boy...
the boy who would save
our world.
Um...
Just quickly --
who is the dark wizard,
who is his apprentice,
who are the foes,
who is "she,"
what is the dream,
who is the man,
what is the "great weapon,"
and, perhaps most importantly,
who is the boy?
Hmm...
These things I know not.
I have only one answer.
The man who could bring the boy,
the man
who could save my family,
my world...
his name is Dirk Gently.
♪♪
♪ Hey! ♪
♪♪
Do you know Ken?
♪♪
It's not
supposed to go this way.
The voice said
I can die here
or things can change.
Priest: [ Over megaphone ]
How long do y'all plan
for this to go on for?
Honest question.
I'm trying to be a friend here.
So what's the big plan?
You know, what's the end game?
[ Squeaks ]
Jacob!
Amanda!
I could bring you back
to the boys.
I have the rest
of Project Incubus.
They are just waiting for you.
This could have
a very happy ending.
Yeah. Yeah,
good, good, good.
Okay, okay...
Wh-What do we do?
I don't know.
This isn't how this ends.
What?
This isn't how this ends.
Something else
is supposed to happen.
I am supposed
to do something.
Look, I know that guy.
What if he's truthing,
and the guys are out there
waiting for me?
Vogel, he is not
telling you the truth.
The Rowdy 3
are my family, boss!
You said
you would help me find them.
What if --
What if this is it?
Vogel...
you're all I've got left.
Please listen to me.
Okay?
Don't go out there.
What's it gonna be,
Ms. Brotzman?
Here we go.
Okay.
♪♪
[ Coughing ]
Oh, I'm sorry, boys.
[ Vogel screams ]
I can't stay in here!
That's the shit!
That shit!
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
Gah!
[ Bones crunch ]
Not so spooky now,
eh, Dracula?
[ Wrist snaps ]
Aah!
Yes! Yes, subdue him!
Detain him now!
I'll do things on my calendar,
Mr. Friedkin, thank you.
[ Wrist snaps ]
Aah!
Aah!
Oh!
Come on!
Come on.
[ Groans ]
Things have gotten
out of control.
I'm switching to lethal.
Friedkin: No, no,
capture them alive!
[ Cocking gun ]
I'm taking the shot.
No, do not take the shot!
That is an order.
Do not take the shot.
I'm taking the shot.
Do not take the shot!
I'm taking the shot.
♪♪
♪♪
[ Chuckling ]
[ Groaning ]
I took the shot.
No, no, something's wrong,
something's wrong, okay?
Someone's got to
do something!
Someone's going
to do something -- Aah!
[ Screams ]
♪♪
♪♪
[ Cocks gun ]
[ Whistles ]
I'm sorry, boss!
I messed up!
I messed up!
Whoever you are,
if you're gonna do something,
why don't you do it now?!
Do it now!
[ Gunfire,
Amanda and Vogel scream ]
Don't do -- Oh...
[ Groaning ]
♪♪
♪♪
Yeah, they vanished.
They vanished?
[ Squeaks ]
Hoo, boy...
This is gonna be a wild one!