Diff'rent Strokes (1978–1986): Season 3, Episode 3 - Substitute Mother - full transcript

♪ NOW, THE WORLD DON'T MOVE ♪

♪ TO THE BEAT OF JUST ONE DRUM ♪

♪ WHAT MIGHT BE RIGHT FOR YOU ♪

♪ MAY NOT BE RIGHT FOR SOME ♪

♪ A MAN IS BORN ♪

♪ HE'S A MAN OF MEANS ♪

♪ THEN ALONG COME TWO ♪

♪ THEY GOT NOTHIN'
BUT THEIR JEANS ♪

♪ BUT THEY GOT
DIFF'RENT STROKES ♪

♪ IT TAKES DIFF'RENT STROKES ♪

♪ IT TAKES DIFF'RENT STROKES ♪



♪ TO MOVE THE WORLD ♪

♪ EVERYBODY'S GOT ♪

♪ A SPECIAL KIND OF STORY ♪

♪ EVERYBODY FINDS
A WAY TO SHINE ♪

♪ IT DON'T MATTER THAT YOU GOT ♪

♪ NOT A LOT... SO WHAT? ♪

♪ THEY'LL HAVE THEIRS
AND YOU'LL HAVE YOURS ♪

♪ AND I'LL HAVE MINE ♪

♪ AND TOGETHER WE'LL BE FINE ♪

♪ 'CAUSE IT TAKES
DIFF'RENT STROKES ♪

♪ TO MOVE THE
WORLD, YES, IT DOES ♪

♪ IT TAKES DIFF'RENT
STROKES TO MOVE THE WORLD ♪

GEE, ADELAIDE, HOW
ARE WE GONNA MANAGE

FOR 3 WHOLE WEEKS WITHOUT YOU?



YEAH. WE'RE SURE GONNA MISS YOU.

I MISS YOU ALREADY,
AND YOU'RE STILL HERE.

I'M GONNA MISS YOU GUYS,
TOO, BUT I HAVE TO GO.

YOU KNOW, MY SISTER'S LEG IN A
CAST AND HER HUSBAND'S OUT OF TOWN.

SHE REALLY NEEDS ME.

AH, WE UNDERSTAND.

BUT THE GIRL WHO'S FILLING
IN FOR ME, SONDRA WILLIAMS,

HAS VERY GOOD REFERENCES

AND SHE SOUNDED
REAL NICE ON THE PHONE.

WELL, HOW CAN YOU TELL ABOUT
HER COOKING OVER THE PHONE?

WITHOUT YOUR FUDGE
BROWNIES AND APPLE FRITTERS,

IN 3 WEEKS, I'LL BE NOTHING
BUT CHEEKS AND BONES.

YOU'RE ALL SET, ADELAIDE.

MY CHAUFFEUR IS WAITING
FOR YOU DOWNSTAIRS.

THANKS. I'M GOING IN STYLE.

A LIMOUSINE TO THE BUS STATION!

WELL, KIDS, THIS IS IT.

GOOD-BYE, ADELAIDE.

- BEHAVE YOURSELVES.
- BYE-BYE.

HELLO. I'M SONDRA WILLIAMS.

HELLO, SONDRA WILLIAMS.
I'M PHILIP DRUMMOND.

PLEASE COME IN. THANK YOU.

I'LL GET THAT.

HI. I'M ADELAIDE. HELLO.

MAYBE I SHOULD STAY A MINUTE
AND SHOW SONDRA AROUND?

THANKS. WE CAN DO THAT.

WE DON'T WANT YOU
TO MISS YOUR BUS.

IT'S A LONG WALK
TO PHILADELPHIA.

WELL, OK. GOOD-BYE, EVERYBODY,

AND I'LL SEE YOU IN 3 WEEKS.

I'LL CALL UP TO MAKE SURE
EVERYTHING'S GOING ALL RIGHT.

OK. BYE-BYE. HAVE A GOOD TRIP.

IF YOU GET TOO BUSY,
JUST SEND A CANDY-GRAM.

I THOUGHT SHE'D NEVER LEAVE.

SONDRA, IT'S VERY NICE
TO HAVE YOU WITH US.

THIS IS MY FAMILY...
KIMBERLY, WILLIS, AND ARNOLD.

HI. HOW ARE YOU DOING?

WHAT A LOVELY FAMILY.

ADELAIDE TOLD ME ALL
ABOUT YOU WHEN WE SPOKE.

THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

WELCOME TO OUR HUMBLE COMMODE.

ARNOLD, I THINK YOU MEAN ABODE.

COMMODE REFERS TO THE BATHROOM.

OH. WELCOME TO THAT, TOO.

YOU ARE SUCH A CUTIE PIE.

COME ON, SONDRA. I'LL
SHOW YOU TO YOUR ROOM.

WILLIS, WOULD YOU HELP
WITH THE SUITCASE, PLEASE.

SURE, DAD. I GOT IT.

UHH!

UHH!

YOU CAN TAKE IT NOW, WILLIS.

I JUST WANTED TO SEE IF
IT WAS TOO HEAVY FOR YOU.

LET A MAN HANDLE
IT, LITTLE BROTHER.

HEH HEH! NOTHING
TO IT! I GOT IT.

SHE'S NICE, ISN'T SHE, ARNOLD?

YEAH.

AND SHE SURE SMELLS GOOD.

AND SHE SMILES
WITH HER WHOLE FACE.

AND DO YOU NOTICE THE
WAY SHE LOOKS AT YOU

WITH THAT REAL
SOFT LOOK LIKE THIS.

YOU SEEM TO BE VERY
TAKEN WITH HER, ARNOLD.

YEAH.

WELL, THEN MAYBE YOU
WON'T MISS ADELAIDE

AS MUCH AS YOU
THOUGHT YOU WOULD.

ADELAIDE WHO?

DO YOU EAT MOST OF
YOUR MEALS IN HERE?

WELL, DAD, WILLIS, AND I
EAT OUR MEALS IN HERE.

WITH ARNOLD, YOU CAN'T
EXACTLY CALL IT EATING.

IT'S MORE LIKE, UH, WELL...

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN
A PLAGUE OF LOCUSTS?

I'LL SEE YOU LATER, SONDRA.

UH, SONDRA, LET
ME GIVE YOU A TOUR

OF THE MOST IMPORTANT
THING IN THE KITCHEN.

WHAT'S THAT?

THE REFRIGERATOR.

NOTICE IT'S KING-SIZE.

HMM. GOOD IDEA.

A KING-SIZE REFRIGERATOR FOR A
LITTLE BOY WITH KING-SIZE CHEEKS.

CAN I PINCH 'EM?

SURE. BE MY GUEST. PINCH AWAY.

OOH. HEH HEH!

HEY, THAT DIDN'T EVEN HURT.

YOU'RE A PAIN-FREE PINCHER.

AND YOU'RE A
DARLING LITTLE DUDE.

I AM?

WELL, HOW ABOUT WE
MAKE SOME POPCORN?

I'LL GET THE POPPER.

SORRY. NO POPCORN BEFORE LUNCH.

YOU SHOULD EAT A BALANCED DIET.

I DO EAT A BALANCED DIET...

HALF-FOOD AND HALF-JUNK.

WHOA!

OH, ARNOLD!

OH, ARNOLD! LOOK
OUT! LOOK OUT! OH!

OH, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

OH, POOR BABY. DID
YOU HURT YOURSELF?

I THINK I BUMPED MY ELBOW.

LET ME KISS IT BETTER.

MMM-MMM-MMM. IS THAT BETTER?

YEAH. IT FEELS GREAT NOW.

THAT'S MY PITCHING ARM.

GOOD.

OH, DON'T FORGET
MY CATCHING ARM.

OH, OF COURSE!

MMM-MMM. HOW'S THAT?

GREAT. AND THEN
THERE'S MY SHOULDERS.

THEY HOLD MY ARMS TOGETHER.

ARNOLD, YOU ARE SOMETHING ELSE.

HEY, THAT'S WHAT MY
MAMA USED TO SAY TO ME.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING? HMM?

YOU KIND OF REMIND
ME OF MY MAMA.

THAT IS SO SWEET.

AND WHEN I GET
MARRIED, I'D LIKE TO HAVE

A LITTLE BOY JUST LIKE YOU.

SONDRA, THESE ARE
FOR THE CLEANER'S.

AND WOULD YOU PLEASE TELL THEM

THAT I WOULD LIKE THE HOLE
IN THAT SWEATER MENDED.

MY GOLF PARTNERS ARE COMPLAINING

THAT THAT GIVES ME
AN UNFAIR ADVANTAGE.

HOW'S THAT?

WELL, I START
WITH A HOLE IN ONE.

HA HA HA HA!

BOY, WAIT TILL YOU MEET SONDRA.

WHAT A TERRIFIC SMILE.

SHE MUST HAVE 100 TEETH.

AND SHE CALLED ME "CUTIE PIE"...

JUST LIKE MAMA.

HEY, ABRAHAM,

WHAT IF SONDRA BECAME OUR MAMA?

WOULDN'T THAT BE TERRIFIC?

IS THIS A PRIVATE CONVERSATION?

OH, WILLIS, MAYBE YOU CAN
HELP ME WITH A PROBLEM.

IT'S ABOUT LOVE.

LOVE? HEY, BROTHER,
I WROTE THE BOOK.

WILLIS, WHAT MAKES A MAN
FALL IN LOVE WITH A WOMAN?

WELL, FIRST OFF, THERE'S GOT
TO BE THIS PHYSICAL ATTRACTION.

THEN THERE'S THIS
EMOTIONAL THING.

AND IT DOESN'T HURT

IF SHE HAS SEASON TICKETS
TO ALL THE BALL GAMES.

WILLIS, CAN SOMEONE
FALL IN LOVE IN 3 WEEKS?

SURE. SOME PEOPLE FALL
IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT.

AT LEAST, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS
TO THE GIRLS WHEN THEY LOOK AT ME.

WHY DO YOU THINK THEY CALL ME
"KNOCK 'EM DEAD" JACKSON? YEAH!

I THOUGHT IT WAS YOUR BREATH.

SPEAKING OF BREATH, HOW
WOULD YOU LIKE TO LOSE YOURS?

YOU WOULDN'T HIT A KID
WITH GLASSES, WOULD YOU?

LOOK, ARNOLD, WHEN YOU MIX
THE RIGHT PEOPLE TOGETHER,

ANYTHING CAN
HAPPEN... EVEN MARRIAGE.

BUT DON'T WORRY. I WON'T LET
YOU GET HOOKED BY ANY GIRL.

AW, WILLIS, I'M NOT
TALKING ABOUT ANY GIRL.

I'M TALKING ABOUT SONDRA.

SAY WHAT?!

ARNOLD, STOP DREAMING.

SONDRA'S NOT GONNA MARRY A GUY
SHE COULD PICK UP AND CARRY AROUND.

WILLIS, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
YOU HAD YOUR BRAIN TUNED UP?

I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT ME.

I'M TALKING ABOUT
SONDRA AND DAD.

DAD?

YOU BEEN BLOW-DRYING
YOUR HAIR TOO MUCH?

WILLIS, DOESN'T SONDRA
REMIND YOU OF SOMEONE,

ESPECIALLY WHEN SHE SMILES?

I DON'T KNOW, ARNOLD.

I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT.

AND THE WAY SHE SMELLS.

WHO DOES SHE REMIND
YOU OF, ARNOLD?

MAMA.

MAMA?

HEY, YEAH. YEAH, IN A WAY.

WOULDN'T IT BE NICE
TO HAVE A MAMA AGAIN?

AND ALL DAD HAS TO
DO IS MARRY SONDRA.

ARNOLD, I DON'T THINK
DAD'S GONNA MARRY HER.

HE HARDLY KNOWS HER.

THEY'RE FROM
DIFFERENT BACKGROUNDS.

AND IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T
NOTICED, SHE'S BLACK.

SO? DAD FELL IN LOVE WITH US AND
WE'RE NOT EXACTLY SNOW WHITE.

ARNOLD, I'M NOT SAYING
IT COULD NEVER HAPPEN.

THEY HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON.

SURE THEY DO.

LIKE WHAT?

I BET NEITHER ONE OF THEM

WANT TO GO SKY-DIVING
WITHOUT A PARACHUTE.

COME HERE, LITTLE BROTHER.

LISTEN. I KNOW YOU MISS MAMA,

AND I MISS HER, TOO.

LAST MOTHER'S DAY,
I WENT TO THE STORE

AND LOOKED AT ALL THE
MOTHER'S DAY CARDS.

I ALMOST BOUGHT ONE, BUT
WHAT WOULD I HAVE DONE WITH IT?

YOU COULD HAVE PUT IT IN THE
DRAWER WITH THE ONE I BOUGHT.

OH, YOU TOO, HUH?

I GUESS WE'LL NEVER FORGET MAMA.

HEY, I KNOW IT'S HARD.

WILL IT EVER GET EASIER?

I DON'T KNOW, ARNOLD,

BUT IT DON'T HELP
TO KID OURSELVES.

SURE, SONDRA WOULD
MAKE A NICE MAMA,

BUT FORGET IT. OK?

I DON'T CARE WHAT WILLIS SAYS.

I GOT 3 WEEKS BEFORE
ADELAIDE COMES BACK.

I DON'T KNOW HOW
I'M GONNA DO IT,

BUT I'M GONNA GET SONDRA
TO FALL IN LOVE WITH DAD.

YOU CAN COME TO THE WEDDING.

YOU CAN BE BEST FISH.

DAD? YEAH?

DAD, WAIT A MINUTE.
GOT A SECOND?

WELL, I'M JUST ON MY
WAY TO THE HEALTH CLUB.

CAN IT WAIT?

WELL, IT'S REAL IMPORTANT.

I NEED HELP WITH MY HOMEWORK.

WELL, IN THAT CASE, SURE. OK.

WHAT'S THE SUBJECT?

MARRIAGE.

MARRIAGE? IN THE FOURTH GRADE?

THAT'S WHAT I CALL
PROGRESSIVE EDUCATION.

WELL, WE'RE LEARNING
ABOUT FAMILY LIFE.

YOU KNOW, HOW TO BE HAPPY
EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE MARRIED.

WHAT IS IT THAT
YOU WANT TO KNOW?

OK, QUESTION NUMBER ONE: MM-HMM.

WHEN YOU WERE
MARRIED, DID YOU LIKE IT?

VERY MUCH.

HE DUG IT.

WOULD YOU EVER
GET MARRIED AGAIN?

I THINK SO. YES.

READY TO TAKE THE PLUNGE.

OF COURSE THAT'S ONLY IF
I FOUND THE RIGHT WOMAN.

LOOKING FOR A 10.

WELL, I'D SETTLE FOR A 9 1/2.

THE TRUTH IS, ARNOLD,

I REALLY MISS BEING MARRIED.

GETTING DESPERATE.

WELL, I'M NOT EXACTLY DRAGGING
WOMEN OUT OF SINGLES BARS,

BUT IT WOULD BE NICE TO
HAVE SOMEONE I LOVE BY MY SIDE

TO TALK TO AND SHARE WITH

AND BLAME THINGS ON.

WOULD YOU MARRY
SOMEONE YOUNGER THAN YOU?

CERTAINLY.

SMARTER THAN YOU? GLADLY.

BLACKER THAN YOU?

BLACKER THAN ME?

WELL, I'VE NEVER
THOUGHT ABOUT IT,

BUT I SUPPOSE IF TWO PEOPLE
REALLY LOVE EACH OTHER,

THAT'S THE IMPORTANT THING.

THANK YOU. YOU MADE
A VERY WISE CHOICE.

WHAT WISE CHOICE?

OH, ANSWERING MY QUESTIONS.

YOU DID VERY GOOD.

THANK YOU. KEEP
UP THE GOOD WORK.

HEY, DAD, WHERE'S THE TIMES. I
NEED IT FOR MY CURRENT EVENT CLASS.

IT'S IN MY ROOM. THANKS.

BYE KIDS. BYE.

AND ARNOLD, DON'T GET
MARRIED BEFORE I GET BACK.

ARNOLD, WHAT DID DAD
MEAN "DON'T GET MARRIED?"

OH, WE WERE JUST
TALKING ABOUT WOMEN.

WOMEN, HUH? GETTING TIRED
OF YOUR ELECTRIC TRAINS?

KIMBERLY, I NEED
YOUR ADVICE ON WOMEN.

WHAT DOES A WOMAN
DO TO TRAP A MAN?

WELL, ARNOLD, THAT'S A
VERY SEXIST QUESTION.

WOMEN DON'T TRAP MEN.

OKAY, FORGET THE WORD TRAP.

JUST TELL ME HOW THEY ROPE THEM.

YOU'RE IMPOSSIBLE.

OKAY, OKAY KIMBERLY.

JUST TELL ME WHAT MADE YOUR MOM

WANT TO MARRY YOUR DAD.

WELL, PROBABLY BECAUSE THEY
ENJOYED EACH OTHER'S COMPANY.

THEY WERE ALWAYS
TELLING JOKES AND LAUGHING.

JOKES, HUH?

YEAH. THEY WERE ALWAYS
GOING OUT AND HAVING FUN.

HUM, EVEN THEY STAYED
HOME THEY HAD FUN.

WHAT'D THEY DO? READ
THE COMICS TO EACH OTHER?

NOT EXACTLY.

MOM USED TO MAKE THOSE
REAL ROMANTIC DINNERS FOR DAD.

WHAT WERE THEY LIKE?

OH, WELL, MOM WOULD
HAVE CANDLE LIGHT

AND SHE'D WEAR A
FLOWER IN HER HAIR

AND HER DRESS WOULD BE
DAD'S FAVORITE COLOR, RED.

SHE SAID IT MATCHED HIS PASSION.

PASSION?

ARE WE TALKING
ABOUT THE SAME DAD?

AND SOMETIMES BETWEEN
COURSE, THEY'D DANCE.

GOOD IDEA.

WORKS UP THE APPETITE

FOR THE NEXT BATCH OF FOOD.

AND MOM WOULD END IT
WITH DAD'S FAVORITE DESSERT.

CREPE SUZETTES.

WHAT'S THAT?

WELL, THAT'S A PANCAKE
THAT'S BEEN TO COLLEGE.

ARNOLD, WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME

ALL THESE QUESTIONS ABOUT WOMEN?

WELL, I FIGURED THAT YOU
COULD TELL ME ABOUT WOMEN

BECAUSE BY THE LOOKS OF THINGS,

YOU'RE GOING TO
BE ONE ANY MINUTE.

OH. HI, SONDRA. WHERE YOU GOING?

OH, JUST TO THE MARKET
FOR SOME GROCERIES.

OOH, MAY I HELP? GROCERIES
ARE MY FAVORITE DISH.

NO, THANKS, CUTIE PIE, BUT
IT'S NICE OF YOU TO OFFER.

YOU ARE A REAL LITTLE GENTLEMAN.

AW, THANKS.

I LEARNED ALL THAT
POLITE STUFF FROM DAD.

HE'S A REAL
CONSIDERATE MILLIONAIRE.

HMM, "A CONSIDERATE
MILLIONAIRE."

THOSE ARE TWO OF MY
FAVORITE QUALITIES IN A MAN.

YEAH, BUT I FEEL SORRY
FOR THE POOR GUY.

IT'S LONELY AT THE TOP.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WELL, TONIGHT, ME, KIMBERLY,
AND WILLIS ARE GOING OUT.

THAT MEANS DAD WILL HAVE
TO EAT DINNER ALL BY HIMSELF.

OH, THAT ISN'T SUCH
A TRAGEDY, IS IT?

WELL, YOU DON'T KNOW, SONDRA.

HE'S BEEN REAL DEPRESSED LATELY.

IS THAT SO?

HE CERTAINLY HIDES IT VERY WELL.

YEAH. THAT'S MY DAD.

LAUGHING ON THE OUTSIDE,

BUT INSIDE HE'S
CRYING HIS GUTS OUT.

WELL, I GUESS I JUST
HAVE TO CANCEL OUR PLANS

AND DISAPPOINT KIMBERLY
AND WILLIS UNLESS, UH...

UNLESS WHAT?

UNLESS, UH, MAYBE YOU
COULD HAVE DINNER WITH DAD.

ME? OH, NO.

I DON'T THINK HE'D WANT TO HAVE
DINNER WITH THE HOUSEKEEPER.

DOES ADELAIDE HAVE
DINNER WITH YOUR DAD?

ADELAIDE? EH... OH,
SURE, YEAH, ALL THE TIME.

WOULD YOU, HUH?

OH, ARNOLD, I DON'T KNOW.

OH, PLEASE, IT WOULD
MAKE HIM FEEL BETTER.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE?

OK, OK, OK!

IF YOU THINK IT
WILL CHEER HIM UP.

THANK YOU. OH, AND INCIDENTALLY,

DO YOU KNOW ANY JOKES?

JOKES?

OH, DAD LOVES JOKES.

WE HAVE SOME OF THE
FUNNIEST DINNERS AROUND HERE.

WELL, I GUESS I CAN
THINK OF A COUPLE.

AH, THANKS.

OH, AND COULD YOU DANCE
WITH HIM BETWEEN COURSES?

DANCE WITH HIM?

YEAH. IT HELPS HIS INDIGESTION.

IT KEEPS HIM FROM BELCHING.

ARNOLD, ARE YOU PULLING MY LEG?

NO. DAD USED TO
DANCE WITH HIS WIFE

DURING DINNER ALL THE TIME.

THEY WERE A COUPLE
OF DANCING FOOLS.

BUT THAT WAS HIS WIFE.

NOW DON'T TELL ME ADELAIDE
DANCES WITH YOUR DAD.

OH, SURE, ALL THE TIME!

YOU SHOULD SEE MY DAD GET DOWN.

ARNOLD, YOUR DAD
SURE IS A LITTLE UNUSUAL.

WELL, THAT'S 'CAUSE WE
LIVE ON THE, UH, TOP FLOOR.

THE AIR'S VERY THIN UP HERE.

WELL, I GUESS IF THAT'S
WHAT HE'S LIKE. OK.

OH, AND DO YOU HAVE A RED DRESS?

DON'T TELL ME. THAT'S
HIS FAVORITE COLOR.

YEAH. HOW'D YOU GUESS?

OH, JUST A WILD SHOT.

OH, AND COULD YOU MAKE
HIS FAVORITE DESSERT,

CREPES SUZETTE, AND
WEAR A FLOWER IN YOUR HAIR?

MM-HMM. I WAS JUST
ABOUT TO SUGGEST IT.

AH. THANK YOU, SONDRA.

OH, AND INCIDENTALLY,

DON'T TELL DAD I
TOLD YOU ALL THIS

'CAUSE HE'D BE KIND
OF EMBARRASSED.

OK. I UNDERSTAND, I THINK.

I'D DO ANYTHING
FOR YOU, CUTIE PIE.

GOOD. GOOD! GOOD!

HI, GUYS.

YOU WANNA GO ROLLER
SKATING WITH ME TONIGHT?

I'M PAYING. YOU'RE PAYING?

WILLIS, I THINK HE'S DELIRIOUS.

I MEAN IT.

INCLUDING HOT DOGS
AND EVERYTHING.

I THINK WE BETTER
SAY YES, KIMBERLY,

BEFORE HE DISCOVERS
HE'S SLEEPWALKING.

OK, BUT ONE OF MY
SKATE WHEELS IS LOOSE.

OH, NEVER FEAR.
FIX-IT MAN IS HERE.

SHOW IT TO ME. OK.

THANKS, WILLIS. SURE.

IT'S WORKING,
ABRAHAM. IT'S WORKING.

WE MIGHT BE ONLY ONE CREPE
SUZETTE AWAY FROM A HONEYMOON.

HELLO.

OH, HI, ADELAIDE. HOW YOU DOING?

FINE. HOW ARE THINGS
ON THE HOME FRONT?

OH, COULDN'T BE BETTER.

NO, SIR. EVERYTHING'S JUST FINE.

SOUNDS LIKE YOU DON'T
MISS ME AT ALL, ARNOLD.

OH, I DO.

MY STOMACH'S IN
MOURNING TILL YOU GET BACK.

WELL, YOU DON'T
HAVE TO WAIT 3 WEEKS,

'CAUSE I'M COMING HOME TONIGHT.

WHAT YOU TALKIN'
'BOUT, ADELAIDE?

MY SISTER'S HUSBAND
GOT BACK FROM HIS TRIP,

SO SHE DOESN'T NEED
ME TO HELP HER ANYMORE.

I'M COMING BACK ON THE NEXT BUS.

YOU CAN'T DO THAT, ADELAIDE!

Adelaide: WHY NOT?

WELL... WELL... I...

WHAT I MEAN IS, UH...

YOU... YOU JUST BARELY SHOWED
YOUR FACE TO YOUR SISTER.

I MEAN, WHY COME BACK
AND SHOW IT TO THE PEOPLE

WHO HAVE BEEN
LOOKING AT IT FOR A YEAR?

ARNOLD, TELL ME SOMETHING.

HOW'S SONDRA DOING THERE?

OH... OH, I'M GLAD
YOU ASKED THAT.

I MEAN, DAD HIRED
HER FOR 3 WEEKS.

IT WOULDN'T BE FAIR
TO LET HER GO NOW.

WELL, DON'T WORRY. I KNOW
OF ANOTHER JOB THAT'S OPEN.

GOOD! TAKE IT!

I MEAN, UH... UH...

ARNOLD, HAS YOU FATHER SAID
ANYTHING TO YOU ABOUT MY JOB?

LIKE MY SERVICES ARE
NO LONGER REQUIRED?

NO, ADELAIDE, HONEST.
I DIDN'T SAY THAT.

YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO. I CAN
HEAR BETWEEN THE LINES.

THE OLD GRAY MARE
AIN'T WHAT SHE USED TO BE,

AND THE YOUNG FILLY'S
MOVED INTO THE STABLE.

Arnold: ADELAIDE, I...

I KNOW WHEN I'M FIRED.
GOOD-BYE, ARNOLD.

ADELAIDE...

OH, MAN!

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GOOD EVENING, MR. DRUMMOND.

GOOD EVENING, SONDRA.

MY, DON'T YOU LOOK LOVELY.

THANK YOU.

RED HAPPENS TO BE
MY FAVORITE COLOR.

MY, WHAT A COINCIDENCE?

I THINK THAT FLOWER IN YOUR
HAIR IS A VERY NICE TOUCH.

FLOWER? OH, YES, OF COURSE.

I HAD FORGOTTEN I HAD IT THERE.

WELL, HOW COME THE
TABLE'S SET FOR TWO?

THE KIDS TOLD ME THEY WERE
GONNA EAT AT THE ROLLER RINK.

DID ONE OF THEM COME BACK?

NO, BUT I THOUGHT
RATHER THAN EAT ALONE,

YOU MIGHT LIKE A LITTLE COMPANY.

OH. YOU MEAN YOU.

IF YOU DON'T MIND.

NO, NO, NO, NO. I
WOULDN'T MIND AT ALL.

I'D BE DELIGHTED TO
HAVE YOUR COMPANY.

ALLOW ME. THANK YOU.

THIS SALAD IS DELICIOUS.

THANK YOU.

SAY DID YOU EVER HEAR THE
JOKE ABOUT THE TWO FLIES?

THE TWO FLIES?

NO, I DON'T BELIEVE I HAVE.

WELL, THERE WERE
THESE TWO FLIES. MM-HMM.

AND ONE OF THEM
SAYS TO THE OTHER ONE,

"YOU LOOK TIRED."

AND THE OTHER ONE SAYS, "I AM."

THE BABY'S SICK, AND
I WAS UP ALL NIGHT,

WALKING THE CEILING.

THAT'S A GOOD ONE, ALL RIGHT.

I LOVE A GOOD FLY
JOKE WITH DINNER.

NOW TO MAKE IT ROMANTIC.

WHAT HAPPENED?

WELL, EITHER THE CIRCUIT
BREAKER WENT OUT,

OR I HAVEN'T PAID
THE ELECTRIC BILL.

I BETTER CHECK. EXCUSE ME.

Sondra: THE LIGHTS ARE ON NOW.

DARN! I FORGOT THE CANDLES.

THOSE CIRCUIT BREAKERS
DO THAT SOMETIMES.

OH, NO. NOT AGAIN.

THERE MUST BE SOMETHING
WRONG WITH THAT BREAKER.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD
GET SOME CANDLES.

THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.

I'LL GO SEE IF I
CAN DIG SOME OUT.

BOY. I WONDER IF CUPID HAD TO
WORK UNDER THESE CONDITIONS.

I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND
DINING BY CANDLELIGHT.

NO, NOT AT ALL.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO DANCE?

I BEG YOUR PARDON?

WELL, I ALWAYS LOVE TO
DANCE BETWEEN COURSES.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO
HEAR ANOTHER JOKE?

NO. LET'S DANCE.

YOU'RE A VERY GOOD DANCER.

THANKS. I COULD HAVE
MADE IT REALLY BIG,

BUT FRED ASTAIR
STOLE ALL MY ROUTINES.

I'M FEELING VERY
LIGHT ON MY FEET.

MY WIFE USED TO MAKE
THAT SAME BUM JOKE.

AHA!

AND I'M NOT SURPRISED.

ADELAIDE, WHAT
ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I DIDN'T COME TO CUT IN!

I JUST CAME TO
PICK UP MY THINGS.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
PICK UP YOUR THINGS?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

IF YOU WANTED A DANCER,
WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?

CAN SHE DO THIS?

ADELAIDE, WHAT'S WRONG?

WHAT IN THE WORLD
IS BOTHERING YOU?

WHAT'S BOTHERING ME IS YOU
AND THIS BACK-STABBING VAMP.

DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME A
BACK-STABBING VAMP, SHORTY.

WHAT KIND OF A MAN WOULD
GET A LITTLE KID TO DO HIS FIRING?

FIRING?

HEY, IS ARNOLD IN HERE?

YEAH. HAVE YOU SEEN HIM?

ADELAIDE. WHAT
ARE YOU DOING BACK?

WHERE IS ARNOLD?

OH, I DON'T KNOW.

HE WENT OUT FOR HOT
DOGS AND NEVER CAME BACK.

WE LOST HIM AT THE SKATING RINK.

YOU LOST HIM?

HAVE YOU LOOKED EVERYWHERE?

YEAH, DAD. HE JUST DISAPPEARED.

I KNEW THIS PLACE WOULD
FALL APART WITHOUT ME.

UH, HI, EVERYBODY.

WELL, I THINK I'M GONNA
TURN IN EARLY. GOOD NIGHT.

JUST ONE MINUTE, ARNOLD.

I HAVE A FEW QUESTIONS FOR YOU.

I PLEAD THE FIRST AMENDMENT.

YOU MEAN THE FIFTH.

WHICHEVER ONE
WILL SAVE MY BEHIND.

YOU JUST START TALKING.

I'LL BE THE ONE THAT
DECIDES WHAT YOU SAVE.

WELL, DAD,

I ARRANGED THE WHOLE THING,

'CAUSE I THOUGHT IF YOU
AND SONDRA FELL IN LOVE

AND GOT MARRIED,

ME, WILLIS, AND KIMBERLY
WOULD HAVE A MOM AGAIN.

OH, ARNOLD, YOU KNOW I'M
REALLY VERY FOND OF YOU,

BUT I CAN'T BE YOUR MAMA.

I'M ENGAGED TO SOMEBODY ELSE.

WE'RE GONNA BE MARRIED.

YOU ARE?

THEN I GUESS IT'S
ALL OVER BETWEEN US.

ARNOLD, I KNOW THAT
YOU'RE DISAPPOINTED,

BUT MAYBE SOMEDAY
I'LL GET MARRIED AGAIN.

YEAH? SURE, ARNOLD.

WELL, I JUST HOPE YOU
GET A WIFE BEFORE I DO.

♪ NOW THE WORLD DON'T MOVE ♪

♪ TO THE BEAT OF JUST ONE DRUM ♪

♪ WHAT MIGHT BE RIGHT FOR YOU ♪

♪ MAY NOT BE RIGHT FOR SOME ♪

♪ A MAN IS BORN ♪

♪ HE'S A MAN OF MEANS ♪

♪ THEN ALONG COME TWO ♪

♪ THEY GOT NOTHIN'
BUT THEIR JEANS ♪

♪ BUT THEY GOT
DIFFERENT STROKES ♪

♪ IT TAKES DIFFERENT STROKES ♪

♪ IT TAKES DIFFERENT STROKES ♪

♪ TO MOVE THE WORLD ♪

♪ YES, IT DOES ♪

♪ IT TAKES DIFFERENT STROKES
TO MOVE THE WORLD, MMM ♪