Diff'rent Strokes (1978–1986): Season 3, Episode 4 - The Accident - full transcript

♪ NOW, THE WORLD DON'T MOVE ♪

♪ TO THE BEAT OF JUST ONE DRUM ♪

♪ WHAT MIGHT BE RIGHT FOR YOU ♪

♪ MAY NOT BE RIGHT FOR SOME ♪

♪ A MAN IS BORN ♪

♪ HE'S A MAN OF MEANS ♪

♪ THEN ALONG COME TWO ♪

♪ THEY GOT NOTHIN'
BUT THEIR JEANS ♪

♪ BUT THEY GOT
DIFF'RENT STROKES ♪

♪ IT TAKES DIFF'RENT STROKES ♪

♪ IT TAKES DIFF'RENT STROKES ♪



♪ TO MOVE THE WORLD ♪

♪ EVERYBODY'S GOT ♪

♪ A SPECIAL KIND OF STORY ♪

♪ EVERYBODY FINDS
A WAY TO SHINE ♪

♪ IT DON'T MATTER THAT YOU GOT ♪

♪ NOT A LOT... SO WHAT? ♪

♪ THEY'LL HAVE THEIRS ♪

♪ AND YOU'LL HAVE YOURS ♪

♪ AND I'LL HAVE MINE ♪

♪ AND TOGETHER WE'LL BE FINE ♪

♪ 'CAUSE IT TAKES
DIFF'RENT STROKES ♪

♪ TO MOVE THE
WORLD, YES, IT DOES ♪

♪ IT TAKES DIFF'RENT
STROKES TO MOVE THE WORLD ♪

COME ON, ARNOLD. ARE
YOU GONNA TAKE ALL DAY?



JUST SIGN THE CARD.

I'M WRITIN' DAD A POEM, TOO.

NOW, HOW DOES THIS SOUND?

NOW THAT YOU'RE 50

AND YOUR WAIST HAS HANDLES,

WE HOPE YOU HAVE ENOUGH BREATH

TO BLOW OUT THE CANDLES.

THAT'LL MAKE HIM FEEL
REAL GOOD, ARNOLD.

HE'LL ONLY BE DEPRESSED
FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE.

I HID THE PRESENT IN THE CLOSET.

YOU KNOW, ARNOLD, 50
REALLY ISN'T OLD ANYMORE.

LOOK AT RONALD REAGAN.

HE'S GONNA BE OUR
PRESIDENT AT 70.

70?

I THOUGHT ONLY
TURTLES LIVED THAT LONG.

WELL, HERE IT IS.

YOU LIKE THE WAY
I GIFT WRAPPED IT?

YOU THINK DAD'LL RECOGNIZE
IT'S A TENNIS RACKET?

UH, NO, ARNOLD. HE'LL
THINK IT'S A TIE CLASP.

WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU, ARNOLD?

DAD'LL TAKE ONE LOOK AT THAT

AND KNOW IT'S A TENNIS RACKET.

NO, HE WON'T.

HE MIGHT THINK
IT'S ONE SNOWSHOE.

ALL SET, GANG.

HEY, IS THAT YOUR
PRESENT FOR DAD, ADELAIDE?

UH-HUH. I HOPE IT FITS.

IT'S A 42 REGULAR.

NO, NO, NO.

IT'S CUFFLINKS. HA HA HA!

WELL, WE GOT OUR PRESENT READY.

OH, TERRIFIC! ONE SNOWSHOE!

ARNOLD ALREADY TOLD
ME WHAT YOU GOT HIM.

IT'S ABOUT TIME FOR
DAD'S BIRTHDAY SURPRISE.

I HOPE HE GETS BACK
BEFORE SHE GETS HERE.

SHE? YOU BOUGHT
YOUR FATHER A WOMAN?

DON'T BE SILLY, ADELAIDE.

HOW WOULD WE GIFT WRAP HER?

ADELAIDE, WE'RE NOT GONNA
TELL YOU ANYMORE ABOUT THE GIRL,

SO THEN YOU'LL
BE SURPRISED, TOO.

BE SURE TO LET
DAD OPEN THE DOOR.

HI, GANG!

Both: HI, DAD.

OH, THERE'S NOTHING
LIKE A GOOD MORNING JOG.

HA HA!

YEAH, YOU KEEP
JOGGING LIKE THAT,

AND YOU COULD DIE A
VERY HEALTHY PERSON.

I FEEL GREAT.

I RAN AROUND THE
RESERVOIR TWICE.

YOU'D FEEL BETTER
IF YOU TOOK A CAB.

UH, OH! DAD, WHY DON'T YOU

JOG OVER TO THE
DOOR AND ANSWER IT?

YEAH, GET A LITTLE
MORE EXERCISE.

ALL RIGHT, I'LL JUST DO THAT.

POW, POW, POW!

MORNING, PHIL.

DON! COME IN, COME IN.

IF THAT'S THE GIRL,

THAT IS A SURPRISE.

FORGIVE ME FOR JUST
DROPPING IN LIKE THIS,

BUT I HAD TO TALK TO YOU.

QUITE ALL RIGHT.
PLEASE HAVE A SEAT.

THIS IS MY DAUGHTER KIMBERLY,

MY SONS WILLIS AND ARNOLD,

AND ADELAIDE, OUR HOUSEKEEPER.

THIS IS DON CONNELLY.

All: HI. HOW ARE YOU?

WOULD YOU EXCUSE US, GANG?
WE'VE GOT SOME BUSINESS TO DO.

WHY DON'T YOU HIT
THE SCHOOLBOOKS?

SURE, DAD.

OK, DON, WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

I WANT TO DISCUSS THAT
FOREIGN CONSTRUCTION DEAL

BEFORE THE BOARD
MEETING THIS AFTERNOON.

WELL, I THOUGHT

I MADE MYSELF
CLEAR ON THAT, DON.

BUT IT'S THE BIGGEST DEAL
OUR COMPANY'S EVER HAD.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH PAYING
A COMMISSION TO SOMEONE

IF IT HELPS US NEGOTIATE
THE CONTRACT?

WELL, WHAT YOU
CALL A COMMISSION,

I CALL A BRIBE.

NOW, WE HAVE NEVER
DONE BUSINESS THAT WAY.

PHIL, WE CANNOT PASS
UP THIS OPPORTUNITY.

LOOK AT THIS PROFIT
PROJECTION I WORKED UP.

THINK HOW THAT'S GOING TO LOOK
ON OUR STOCKHOLDERS REPORT, HUH?

WELL, LOOK, I'LL ADMIT IT'S
AN ATTRACTIVE PROPOSITION.

BUT I REFUSE TO GET
IT BY BRIBING ANYONE.

OH, NO, BUT IN THEIR
COUNTRY, IT'S NOT A BRIBE.

IT'S PART OF THEIR CUSTOM.

DON, I APPRECIATE YOUR EFFORT,

BUT AS CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD,

I JUST HAVE TO
OVERRULE YOU THIS TIME.

PHIL, THAT'S PRETTY
OLD-FASHIONED THINKING.

WELL, YOU GET A CHANCE
TO CHANGE THINGS

WHEN YOU YOUNG
HOT SHOTS TAKE OVER.

DON'T GIVE ME ANY IDEAS, PHIL.

I DON'T THINK I
COULD GIVE YOU ANY

YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY HAD.

OH.

OH, GEE! I WONDER
WHO THAT COULD BE.

YEAH, WHO COULD
POSSIBLY BE AT THE DOOR?

SOUNDS LIKE A TOTAL
STRANGER TO ME.

ADELAIDE, WOULD YOU PLEASE?

I'M NOT OPENING THE DOOR
TO ANY TOTAL STRANGER.

WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

MR. DRUMMOND? YES.

HI. MY NAME IS CINDY,

AND YOU HAVE RECEIVED

A SINGING TELEGRAM!

Mr. Drummond: WHY, THANK YOU.

ARE YOU READY?

Y... YES.

AND...

♪ HAVE AN "H," HAVE
AN "H," HAVE AN H-A-P ♪

♪ HAVE A "P," HAVE
A "P," HAVE A P-P-Y ♪

♪ HAVE A "B," HAVE
AN "I," HAVE AN R-T-H ♪

♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY ♪

♪ GIVE A CHEER, GIVE A
CHEER, GIVE A BIG HOORAY ♪

♪ THERE'S SOMETHING
THAT I'VE COME TO SAY ♪

♪ THEY TELL ME THAT
TODAY'S YOUR DAY ♪

♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY ♪

♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY ♪

♪ SO WHAT IF YOU'RE
STILL NOT 25? ♪

♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY ♪

♪ YOU'VE HAD THE
GUTS TO STAY ALIVE ♪

♪ DA DA DA DA DA ♪

♪ DA DA DA DA DA ♪

♪ DA DA DA DA DA,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ♪

♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY ♪

♪ TO YOU ♪

♪ HAPPY FIFTIETH ♪

YEAH!

THAT WAS JUST
WONDERFUL, YOUNG LADY.

DID YOU KIDS ARRANGE THIS?

DAD, WE WANTED TO
GET THE ROCKETTES,

BUT SHE WAS ALL WE COULD AFFORD.

I JUST LOVED IT.

IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN
GET FOR YOU, YOUNG LADY?

NO, THANKS. I'M
DUE AT A FUNERAL.

WELL, IT WAS IN THE WILL.

50, HUH, PHIL?

Mr. Drummond: YEP.

WELL, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, OLD TIMER.

THANK YOU.

SEE YOU AT THE BOARD MEETING?

RIGHT.

OH, THANKS, KIDS.
THAT WAS WONDERFUL.

THANK YOU. THANK
YOU. All: HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

WAIT A MINUTE, DAD.

THERE'S SOME MORE PRESENTS, TOO.

HAPPY FIFTIETH, MR. DRUMMOND.

OH, WHY THANK YOU, ADELAIDE!

HEY, DAD, HOW DOES IT FEEL
TO BE A HALF-CENTURY OLD?

WILLIS, YOU MAKE IT SOUND

AS IF I JUST GOT A MESSAGE

FROM THE OLD FOLKS'
HOME MARKED "URGENT."

WELL, TO ME, ANYONE
WHO'S ONLY 50

IS SOMEONE YOU
STILL HAVE TO BURP.

HERE IT IS, DAD...

FROM WILLIS, KIMBERLY, AND ME.

OH, TH... THAT IS
JUST MARVELOUS.

THANK YOU. WELL, LET'S
OPEN THE PRESENTS.

WAIT, DAD. DON'T! DON'T!

NO, NOT TILL AFTER
DINNER TONIGHT.

WHY NOT TILL AFTER DINNER?

'CAUSE WE'RE
TAKING YOU TO DINNER

TO YOUR FAVORITE
RESTAURANT AS A SURPRISE.

WELL, YOU JUST TOLD ME ABOUT IT.

NOW IT'S NOT A SURPRISE.

IT WILL BE WHEN THEY
GIVE YOU THE CHECK.

OK, I ACCEPT.

I WON'T OPEN MY PRESENTS
TILL AFTER DINNER.

DAD, JUST IN CASE YOU
THINK YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS,

IT COULD BE ONE SNOWSHOE.

THAT'S RIGHT. I JUST
HOPE IT'S THE KIND

THAT'S USED BY JIMMY CONNORS.

AND NOW I HAVE A
SURPRISE FOR ALL OF YOU

ON MY BIRTHDAY.
YOU, TOO, ADELAIDE.

Kimberly: WHAT'S THAT?

WELL, SINCE THIS IS
A HOLIDAY WEEKEND,

ANYTHING YOU WANT TO DO,
ANY PLACE YOU WANT TO GO,

WE'LL DO IT.

ANY PLACE? RIGHT.

WELL, I'D LIKE TO PUT IN

AN EARLY BID FOR PARIS.

OK, BUT JUST FOR
BREAKFAST, ADELAIDE.

WE JUST HAVE TO
HAVE LUNCH IN LONDON.

HEY, HOW ABOUT DINNER IN CHINA.

I LOVE MOO SHU PORK.

THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
WITH FIVE YOU GET TAIWAN.

LISTEN, GANG, LET'S KEEP THIS

WITHIN THE VICINITY OF THE
NORTHERN HEMISPHERE, ALL RIGHT?

OKAY, YOU KNOW
WHAT MIGHT BE FUN?

HOW ABOUT THE GRAND CANYON?

THE WHOLE WEEKEND
LOOKING AT A BIG HOLE?

SAY, HOW ABOUT HOLLYWOOD?

I UNDERSTAND OLDER
WOMEN ARE VERY POPULAR

WITH THE YOUNGER MEN OUT THERE.

JUST IMAGINE WHAT
A REALLY OLD BAT

LIKE ME COULD DO.

HEY, WE SHOULDN'T
JUST THINK OF OURSELVES.

IT'S DAD'S BIRTHDAY.

WE DON'T HAVE TO HAVE FUN, TOO.

DAD, I KNOW JUST THE PLACE TO GO

THAT'LL MAKE YOU VERY HAPPY.

WELL, THAT'S VERY CONSIDERATE
OF YOU, ARNOLD. WHERE IS THAT?

DISNEYWORLD.

IT'S VERY NICE OF YOU, ARNOLD,

TO MAKE THAT SACRIFICE FOR ME.

BUT IT'S A GOOD IDEA.

FLORIDA'S ONLY A
COUPLE OF HOURS AWAY,

AND AFTER ALL, I'M MOVING
INTO MY SECOND CHILDHOOD.

IS DISNEYWORLD
OK WITH EVERYBODY?

FINE WITH ME.

OK, I'LL STOP BY
MY TICKET AGENT,

AND GET THOSE TICKETS
FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.

DAD, COULDN'T YOU DO IT TODAY?

THEY MIGHT RUN OUT OF
TICKETS BY TOMORROW.

OH, I DON'T THINK THEY'LL
RUN OUT OF TICKETS, ARNOLD.

WELL, THEN THEY MIGHT
HAVE A LOT OF TICKETS

BUT RUN OUT OF PLANES.

WELL, LET'S SEE.

I HAVE A BOARD
MEETING THIS AFTERNOON.

ALL RIGHT, ARNOLD. I'LL PICK
UP THE TICKETS ON THE WAY.

THANKS, DAD!

THANKS, DAD.

THANKS, DAD.

THANKS, DAD.

OH, I'M SORRY. I
GOT CARRIED AWAY.

WELL, HOW ABOUT SOME BREAKFAST?

LET'S GO, GANG.

WHAT A TERRIFIC
VACATION THIS IS GONNA BE.

OH, YEAH.

BUT MY DIET IS GONNA
SUFFER, MR. DRUMMOND.

'CAUSE WHEN I'M ON A VACATION,

I REALLY PIG OUT.

I GUESS THE AIRPLANE
WON'T BE THE ONLY WIDE BODY

WE'LL TAKE BACK FROM FLORIDA.

HEY YOU GUYS, HURRY UP.

DAD WILL BE HERE ANY MINUTE.

ALL SET, WILLIS.

WELL, ALL RIGHT.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

INTRODUCING MISS AMERICA.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

MY LIFE'S DREAM IS BE SO SWEET,

IT MAKES EVERYBODY SICK.

YOU LOOK VERY HANDSOME, WILLIS.

THANKS, I KNOW.

LOOK OUT!

HERE COMES SHORT BUT STYLISH.

WELL, DIG THE FASHION PLATE.

JUST A PLATE?

I WAS TRYING TO LOOK
LIKE A 32-PIECE SET.

WELL I CAN'T WAIT TO
SEE THAT RESTAURANT

DAD SAID HE'S TAKING US TO.

HE SAYS IT'S ON TOP
OF A SKYSCRAPER

AND IT REVOLVES.

WHAT REVOLVES?

THE RESTAURANT
OR THE SKYSCRAPER?

ARNOLD, THE RESTAURANT REVOLVES.

HOW FAST?

I DON'T WANT IT TO MOVE
FASTER THAN MY FORK.

I DON'T WANT TO CHASE
MY FOOD AROUND THE ROOM.

I'M READY, GANG.

A PRETTY GIRL

IS LIKE A MELODY.

YOU LOOK REAL COOL,

FOXY LADY.

YOU WOULDN'T JIVE ME
WOULD YOU, TURKEY?

GEE, YOU LOOK TERRIFIC ADELAIDE.

YEAH, YOU REALLY DO.

I WONDER WHAT'S KEEPING DAD.

HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN HERE BY NOW.

I HOPE HE DIDN'T GO TO
DISNEYWORLD WITHOUT US.

ARNOLD, WILL YOU PULL WHAT
THERE IS OF YOU TOGETHER?

I'LL GET IT.

HELLO.

UM, NO, THERE IS NO
MRS. DRUMMOND HERE,

BUT THIS IS HIS
DAUGHTER KIMBERLY.

MAY I HELP YOU, PLEASE?

WHAT?

OH, NO!

WELL, IS HE ALL RIGHT?

WHAT'S THE MATTER, KIMBERLY?

DAD'S BEEN IN A CAR ACCIDENT.

HE'S IN THE HOSPITAL.

GO ON, PLEASE.

UH-HUH.

THANK YOU, NURSE. Intercom: PAGING
DR. HAROLD COHEN TO SURGERY.

DR. HAROLD COHEN...

I WANT NURSES AROUND THE
CLOCK FOR MR. DRUMMOND.

YES, DOCTOR.

OH, DR. BENSON, WE'RE
SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE.

EASY, KIDS. EASY, KIDS.

YOU DID THE RIGHT
THING TO PHONE ME.

YOUR DAD'S IN THE BEST HANDS.

I'VE CALLED A TOP
SPECIALIST TO LOOK AT HIM.

SPECIALIST?

YES. WE'VE TAKEN X-RAYS
AND SOME OTHER TESTS

AND GIVEN YOUR
FATHER MEDICATION.

C... CAN WE SEE HIM?

WELL, I'M AFRAID
HE'S NOT CONSCIOUS.

NOT CONSCIOUS?

PLEASE, DR. BENSON.

COULD THE KIDS SEE
HIM FOR JUST A SECOND?

WELL...

ALL RIGHT, BUT
JUST FOR A SECOND.

POOR DAD.

WHY IS HIS HEAD BANDAGED UP?

HE HAS A CONCUSSION.

HIS HEAD HIT THE WINDSHIELD

WHEN THE OTHER DRIVER HIT HIM.

A CASE OF DRUNK DRIVING.

HOW MUCH DID DAD HAVE TO DRINK?

HE MEANS THE OTHER GUY, ARNOLD.

BOY, I'D LIKE TO GET THAT GUY.

THE CORONER GOT HIM FIRST.

YOUR FATHER'S LUCKY
TO BE ALIVE, KIDS.

WELL, WHERE DID IT HAPPEN?

ACCORDING TO THE PARAMEDICS,

HE'D JUST COME OUT
OF A TRAVEL AGENCY

AND WAS PULLING
AWAY FROM THE CURB

WHEN HE WAS HIT.

TRAVEL AGENCY?

HE WAS GETTING OUR TICKETS,

AND I MADE HIM DO IT.

WAS THE CHAUFFER HURT?

NO, YOUR DAD WAS ALONE
IN THE COMPANY CAR.

MR. DRUMMOND'S GOING TO
BE ALL RIGHT, ISN'T HE, DOCTOR?

WE HOPE SO. HE'S
HAD A BRAIN SCAN

AND AN ELECTROENCEPHALOGRAPH,

AND THEY INDICATE THAT
THERE'S SOME PRESSURE,

BUT WE'LL KNOW MORE BY MORNING.

WHAT WILL YOU KNOW?

WHETHER OR NOT

HE'LL HAVE TO HAVE
BRAIN SURGERY.

OK, WHO'S READY FOR SECONDS?

HEY, YOU HAVEN'T
FINISHED YOUR FIRSTS YET.

I DON'T FEEL MUCH
LIKE EATING, ADELAIDE.

ME NEITHER.

I THOUGHT I'D NEVER
LIVE TO SAY THIS,

BUT I MAY NEVER EAT AGAIN.

COME ON, ARNOLD. TRY.

DAD'S ACCIDENT'S ALL MY FAULT.

IT NEVER WOULD'VE HAPPENED

IF I DIDN'T MAKE HIM GET THE
PLANE TICKETS RIGHT AWAY.

IT'S NOBODY'S FAULT
BUT THAT DRUNK DRIVER.

MAN, WHEN I START TO
DRIVE, I'M NEVER GONNA DRINK.

ME NEITHER. WHEN I GROW UP,

THE STRONGEST THING
I'M EVER GONNA DRINK

IS LOW-FAT MILK ON THE ROCKS.

WELL, I'LL KEEP THIS
WARM JUST IN CASE.

I'LL GET IT, ADELAIDE.

AH, HI THERE.

HI, MR. CONNELLY.

I'D LIKE TO SEE YOUR
FATHER, PLEASE.

HE'S NOT HERE.

WELL, WHERE IS HE?

WE HAD TO CANCEL THE
BOARD MEETING TODAY

BECAUSE HE DIDN'T SHOW UP.

I'VE BEEN CALLING
HERE FOR HOURS.

DAD'S IN THE HOSPITAL,
MR. CONNELLY.

HE'S BEEN IN A CAR ACCIDENT.

I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT.

IS IT SERIOUS?

YES, IT'S VERY SERIOUS.

HE'S GOT A PERCUSSION.

AND THEY HAD TO SCAM HIS BRAIN.

AND THEY HAD TO GIVE
HIM AN ELEPHANT-GRAPH.

WHAT HOSPITAL IS HE IN?

LEXINGTON GENERAL.

OK. WELL, I HOPE HE'LL BE OK.

I BETTER INFORM THE BOARD.

OH, LISTEN,

I'M REALLY SORRY, KIDS.

YOU KNOW SOMETHIN'?

THAT GUYS GOT
EYES LIKE A LANDLORD.

HE SURE HAS.

WILLIS, REMEMBER WHEN
I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL

AND I HAD MY APPENDIX OUT?

WELL, I KNOW WHAT
THEY DO FOR THAT,

BUT WHAT DO THEY DO
FOR A BRAIN OPERATION?

I GUESS IT'S A LOT LIKE WITH
YOUR APPENDIX, ARNOLD.

YEAH, THEY WHEEL YOU
INTO THE OPERATING ROOM,

THEY PUT YOU TO SLEEP,
AND WHEN YOU WAKE UP,

YOUR APPENDIX IS GONE.

YOU MEAN WHEN DAD WAKES UP,

HIS BRAIN WILL BE GONE?

NO, ARNOLD. HE'LL BE
OK, JUST LIKE YOU WERE.

THEN WHY AM I SO WORRIED?

COME ON, GANG.

LET'S TRY TO FINISH DINNER NOW.

AW, I CAN'T, ADELAIDE.

ME NEITHER.

I REALLY DON'T FEEL LIKE EATIN'.

AND IF I ATE,

I WOULDN'T FEEL LIKE SWALLOWING.

AW, CHEER UP, KIDS.

YOUR DAD'S GONNA BE JUST FINE.

YEAH.

JUST FINE.

OH, HONEY.

HEY, COME ON, KIMBERLY.

CRYING'S FOR KIDS.

YEAH...

FOR KIDS.

WH... WHAT DO YOU WANT?

I'M A KID.

I GUESS I AM, TOO.

WILLIS, ARE YOU CRYING?

NO, I'M NOT CRYING.

I GOT SOMETHING IN MY EYE.

YEAH... TEARS.

OK, SO I AM CRYING.
WHAT ABOUT IT?

OH, NOTHIN'.

IT'S OK.

WHEN MAMA GOT SICK THAT TIME,

PAPA CRIED.

GEE, WILLIS.

THEY DIED.

YOU THINK DAD'LL DIE, TOO?

I HOPE NOT, ARNOLD,

BUT A BRAIN OPERATION'S
VERY SERIOUS.

WOW.

WHY'D THIS HAVE
TO HAPPEN TO HIM?

HE'S SUCH A TERRIFIC GUY.

YEAH, HE SURE IS.

AND HE ADOPTED 2
PAINS IN THE NECK LIKE US.

ONE PAIN IN THE NECK.

I'VE ALWAYS BEEN MORE
TROUBLE THAN YOU.

YEAH, MAYBE SO.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO AGREE SO FAST.

YOU KNOW, LIFE SURE IS FUNNY.

THIS MORNING, WE
WERE ALL SO HAPPY.

HI.

I CALLED THE HOSPITAL,
AND THERE'S NO CHANGE.

DAD'S STILL UNCONSCIOUS.

I WONDER HOW LONG IT'LL
BE BEFORE HE WAKES UP.

I'VE HEARD OF SOME PEOPLE BEING
UNCONSCIOUS FOR A LONG TIME.

I WONDER HOW THEY
GO TO THE BATHROOM.

AW, CHEER UP, GUYS. COME ON.

DAD'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.

HE'S A FIGHTER. HE
ALWAYS HAS BEEN.

I OUGHT TO KNOW.

YEAH, YOU'VE KNOWN

FROM THE MINUTE YOU
FIRST SPIT UP ON HIM.

HE'S SUCH A SWELL GUY.

YOU KNOW, HE'S ONLY
BEEN REALLY MAD AT ME

ONCE IN MY WHOLE LIFE.

THAT'S WHEN I WAS 9 YEARS OLD,

AND I DESERVED IT.

WHAT'D YOU DO?

WELL, ONE DAY, AT THE BEACH,

I BURIED HIM IN THE SAND
ALL THE WAY UP TO HIS NECK.

HE COULDN'T MOVE.

AND THEN I WENT SWIMMING
AND FORGOT ABOUT HIM.

I BET HE GOT SUNBURNED.

YEAH, BUT HIS FACE WASN'T AS RED

AS MY BEHIND WAS THAT NIGHT.

OH, COME ON, GUYS.

LET'S TRY TO GET SOME REST.

WE WANT TO GET TO THE HOSPITAL
EARLY TOMORROW MORNING.

I GUESS YOU'RE
RIGHT, KIMBERLY. YEAH.

GOODNIGHT. GOODNIGHT, KIMBERLY.

GOODNIGHT.

WILLIS, DO PRAYERS
ALWAYS GET ANSWERED?

I'M AFRAID NOT, ARNOLD.

LIKE WHEN MAMA
AND PAPA WERE SICK.

WE PRAYED REAL HARD.

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

I GUESS GOD HAS
WAYS OF DOING THINGS

WE JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND.

THEN WHAT'S THE USE OF PRAYING?

WELL...

I GUESS IT'S LIKE MAKING A
PHONE CALL TO SOMEBODY

WHEN THE LINE IS BUSY.

AND IF YOU CAN'T GET THROUGH,

YOU'VE GOT TO KEEP TRYIN'.

I'M GONNA GO BRUSH MY TEETH.

I'M TOO SAD TO BRUSH MINE.

HELLO? GOD?

IT'S ME AGAIN...

THE LITTLE BLACK KID.

THE ONE IN THE PENTHOUSE

ON PARK AVENUE.

THAT'S NEW YORK, 10016.

GOD, I KNOW IT'S NOT EASY

RUNNING THE UNIVERSE THESE DAYS,

BUT I WANTED TO TELL YOU THIS

JUST IN CASE YOU WERE BUSY

MAKING AN EARTHQUAKE
OR SOMETHING.

MY DAD'S BEEN IN A CAR ACCIDENT,

AND... AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT.

HE'S IN THE HOSPITAL.

PLEASE DON'T LET HIM DIE, GOD.

YOU ALREADY GOT
MAMA AND PAPA UP THERE,

AND... AND I KNOW YOU LIKE TO
HAVE THE BEST PEOPLE IN HEAVEN

CAUSE IT'S LONELY AT THE TOP.

BUT COULDN'T YOU LEAVE A
FEW NICE PEOPLE DOWN HERE?

FORGET MY DAD AND...

TAKE A POLITICIAN INSTEAD.

WELL...

THAT'S IT.

THANKS, GOD.

HAVE A NICE NIGHT.

OVER AND OUT.

IF THERE'S ANY CHANGE IN
MR. DRUMMOND'S CONDITION,

CAL ME IMMEDIATELY.

YES, DOCTOR.

DR. BENSON... OH, GOOD MORNING.

I'VE GOT GOOD NEWS.

THE MEDICATION IS HELPING,

AND HE SEEMS TO
BE COMING OUT OF IT.

IT LOOKS LIKE WE
WON'T HAVE TO OPERATE.

DR. BENSON, YOU
BETTER COME BACK IN.

WHAT IS IT?

MR. DRUMMOND IS TRYING TO TALK.

HE IS? ALL RIGHT!

COME ON IN WITH ME.

THANKS, GOD.

I OWE YOU ONE.

WELCOME BACK.

HOW DID I GET HERE?

WHAT HAPPENED?

YOU WERE IN A CAR ACCIDENT,

BUT YOU'RE GOING
TO BE ALL RIGHT.

YOU HAVE SOME VISITORS.

HI, HOW ARE YOU?

HOW YOU FEELING?

YOU LOOK GREAT.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT YOUR BIRTHDAY.

WE CAN CELEBRATE IT LATER.

BIRTHDAY?

WHO ARE YOU?

WHAT YOU TALKIN' 'BOUT, DAD?

DAD?

PHIL, THIS IS YOUR FAMILY.

YOUR DAUGHTER, YOUR SONS,

YOUR HOUSEKEEPER.

I'M SORRY, BUT I'VE
NEVER SEEN YOU PEOPLE

BEFORE IN MY LIFE.

I'M SORRY, BUT I DON'T KNOW

WHO ANY OF YOU PEOPLE ARE.

PHIL, YOU'RE PROBABLY
JUST A LITTLE FUZZY

FROM THE BLOW TO YOUR HEAD.

WHO ARE YOU?

I'M YOUR DOCTOR. YOUR
FRIEND. TED BENSON.

AND THIS IS YOUR
HOUSEKEEPER ADELAIDE.

AND THIS IS YOUR
DAUGHTER KIMBERLY

AND YOUR SONS ARNOLD AND WILLIS.

YOU'RE MY DAUGHTER?

SURE. OF COURSE, DADDY.

YOU'RE MY SONS?

THAT'S RIGHT.

WE SURE ARE.

WHAT COLOR IS MY WIFE?

DADDY, MOM DIED A LONG TIME AGO.

AND THEN YOU ADOPTED
WILLIS AND ARNOLD.

WHY?

OUR MOTHER USED TO
BE YOUR HOUSEKEEPER,

AND WHEN SHE DIED, YOU
PROMISED TO TAKE CARE OF US.

AND WE'VE BEEN LIVING
IN LUXURY EVER SINCE.

SOUNDS LIKE I'M RICH.

LOADED.

DADDY, WHY CAN'T
YOU REMEMBER US?

I DON'T KNOW.

CAN YOU EXPLAIN THAT, PHIL?

I'M TED, YOU'RE PHIL.

HE DOESN'T KNOW WHO HE IS.

MAYBE WE OUGHT TO SEW A
NAMETAG TO HIS UNDERWEAR.

OOH, MY HEAD. AHH.

I THINK YOU'D BETTER
REST NOW, PHIL.

YOU JUST HAVE TO GET
YOUR STRENGTH BACK.

TAKE IT EASY, DAD.

YEAH. YOU'LL BE OK.

YOU'RE GONNA BE
FINE, MR. DRUMMOND.

DRUMMOND?

IS THAT MY NAME...
PHIL DRUMMOND?

I DON'T LIKE IT.

WE'RE GONNA OPEN
UP YOUR PRESENTS

AS SOON AS YOU
GET HOME, OK, DADDY?

PRESENTS? WHAT PRESENTS?

YESTERDAY WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY.

HOW OLD WAS I?

YOU WERE 50.

50.

SORRY I ASKED.

I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.

I'M A TOTAL BLANK.

WELL, YOU REST NOW, PHIL.

IT'LL ALL COME BACK.

YEAH, YOU'LL...
YOU'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

BYE, DAD. BYE, DADDY.

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

IMAGINE DAD NOT REMEMBERING ME.

OR ME AND ARNOLD.

ESPECIALLY ME.

I ALWAYS THOUGHT I
WAS UNFORGETTABLE.

THAT POOR MAN.

YOU KNOW, ONE MINUTE
YOU HAVE A FATHER

WHO YOU LOVE AND WHO LOVES YOU,

AND THE NEXT MINUTE HE
DOESN'T KNOW YOU ANYMORE.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING.

I JUST THOUGHT OF A WAY

TO GET DAD'S MEMORY BACK. HOW?

WELL, I SAW THIS
OLD MOVIE ON TV,

WHERE THIS GUY
FALLS DOWN THE STAIRS,

AND HE HITS HIS HEAD.

AND HE DOESN'T REMEMBER
ANYTHING, JUST LIKE DAD.

SO? SO.

JUST SUDDENLY HE
REMEMBERS EVERYTHING.

HOW?

HE FALLS DOWN THE
SAME FLIGHT OF STAIRS,

AND BUMPS HIS HEAD AGAIN.

ARE YOU SUGGESTING NOW
WE HIT DAD ON THE HEAD.

WHY NOT? HE WON'T
REMEMBER WHO DID IT.

WELL, HI KIDS.

HI, MR. BISHOP.

YEAH, I JUST GOT BACK IN TOWN

AND HEARD ABOUT YOUR FATHER.

HOW IS HE?

YOU BETTER ASK DR. BENSON.

DR. BENSON THIS IS DAD'S
ATTORNEY, MR. BISHOP.

AH, HELLO. DOCTOR.

UH, WHAT'S YOUR DIAGNOSIS?

WELL, I WANT TO TAKE
SOME MORE TESTS.

BUT IT LOOKS LIKE PHIL
HAS A TEMPORARY LOSS

OF MEMORY CAUSED BY A CONTUSION.

IT'S CALLED
POST-TRAUMATIC AMNESIA.

AMNESIA.

I DON'T KNOW YOU GET AMNESIA.

I THOUGHT YOU DRANK IT
WHEN YOU'RE CONSTIPATED.

ARNOLD, THAT'S MAGNESIA.

DOCTOR, HOW LONG WILL IT
TAKE PHIL TO COME OUT OF IT?

WELL, SOMETIMES WE DON'T KNOW.

IT'S NOT UNCOMMON FOR A PATIENT
TO RECOVER ALMOST IMMEDIATELY.

BUT ON THE OTHER
HAND I'VE SEEN CASES

THAT HAVE TAKEN QUITE A WHILE.

HOW LONG IS QUITE A WHILE?

YOU MEAN HE MIGHT
NEVER RECOGNIZE US?

WHAT? THAT'D BE AWFUL?

NO, DR. BENSON
DIDN'T MEAN THAT, KIDS.

DID YOU, DOCTOR.

NO, OF COURSE NOT.

UH, WE'LL KEEP HIM HERE UNTIL
HE'S READY TO GO HOME, KIDS.

AND IF FOR SOME REASON HE HASN'T
RECOVERED HIS MEMORY BY THEN,

WELL, I'M SURE WHEN HE'S BACK
IN HIS FAMILIAR SURROUNDINGS,

EVERYTHING WILL
COME BACK TO HIM.

WHY, SURE IT WILL, SURE IT WILL.

NURSE. YES, DOCTOR, BENSON.

I WANT YOU TO
LOCATE DR. AARONSON

AS SOON AS POSSIBLE FOR ME.

I WANT HER TO LOOK AT MR. DRUMMOND,
QUICKLY. CERTAINLY, DOCTOR.

WHO'S DR. AARONSON?

A PSYCHIATRIST.

A SHRINK?

YOU MEAN DAD'S GONE BANANAS?

NO, ARNOLD, IT'S JUST THAT THEY
CAN BE VERY USEFUL IN THESE CASES.

THEY CAN HELP A
PATIENT RECALL THINGS,

THAT THE MIND HAS BLOCKED OUT.

NOW DON'T WORRY, KIDS.

YOUR DAD'S OBVIOUSLY
GETTING THE BEST OF CARE.

NOW I'LL BE WITH YOU IN A MOMENT
TO TAKE YOU HOME. DOCTOR...

COME ON, KIDS,

LET'S GO HOME. I'LL
MAKE SOME DINNER.

HEY, YOU KNOW SOMETHING,

I THINK DR. BENSON'S MORE
WORRIED THAN HE'S LETTING ON.

YEAH, I THINK SO TOO.

GEE, WHAT WILL DAD DO IF HE
NEVER GETS HIS MEMORY BACK.

POOR GUY.

IMAGINE LOOKING IN THE
MIRROR EVERY MORNING

AND SHAVING A TOTAL STRANGER.

WELCOME HOME, DAD. THANK YOU.

IT'S WONDERFUL TO HAVE
YOU BACK, MR. DRUMMOND.

YEAH. I CAN'T BELIEVE
IT'S BEEN 2 WHOLE WEEKS.

HOW'S IT FEEL TO
BE BACK HOME, DAD?

BOY, THIS IS SOME PLACE.

ARE YOU SURE I CAN
REALLY AFFORD ALL THIS?

I TOLD YOU, PHIL,

YOU'RE THE HEAD
OF A BIG COMPANY.

WELL, I HOPE IT'S A
LEGITIMATE BUSINESS.

OH, IT CERTAINLY IS.

I'M SORRY, BUT I CAN'T
REMEMBER ANY OF THIS.

AW, BUT NOW THAT
YOU'RE HOME, DAD,

YOU'RE GONNA GET YOUR
MEMORY BACK REAL FAST.

YEAH, YOU'LL SEE.

WELL, IT'S OK IF YOU DON'T
REMEMBER EVERYTHING,

LIKE THAT I'M OVERDRAWN
ON MY ALLOWANCE.

HOW MUCH ALLOWANCE
DO I GIVE EACH OF YOU?

$100 A WEEK.

LISTEN, IT'S BAD
ENOUGH I HAVE AMNESIA.

DON'T GIVE ME A
HEART ATTACK, TOO.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING, DAD?

YOU'RE FUNNIER WITH AMNESIA

THAN YOU WERE WITHOUT IT.

MR. DRUMMOND, WHY
DON'T YOU TAKE A MINUTE

TO LOOK AT ALL THE FURNITURE

AND THINGS IN THE ROOM?

MAYBE THAT'LL HELP
YOU START TO REMEMBER.

OK.

THIS SOFA...

DO YOU REMEMBER IT?

NO, BUT WOULDN'T IT
LOOK BETTER OVER THERE?

OH, BOY. I'M AFRAID THIS
ISN'T GONNA BE EASY.

I'M SORRY THIS IS SO
HARD ON ALL OF YOU.

I JUST CAN'T REMEMBER.

DON'T WORRY, PHIL.
IT'LL COME BACK.

YEAH. DAD, WAIT TILL
YOU SEE THE UPSTAIRS

AND YOUR OWN ROOM.

WHY DON'T YOU GO ON UP

AND TRY ON ALL YOUR CLOTHES?

YOU GOT 2 FULL CLOSETS
OF REAL MEAN THREADS.

MEAN THREADS? WHAT IS THAT?

THAT'S THE SAME AS BAD RAGS.

BAD RAGS?

DAD, THAT'S JUST JIVE
TALK FOR CLOTHES.

DAD, DON'T TAKE ME WRONG,
BUT BEFORE YOU MET US,

YOU WERE PRETTY SQUARE.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, SON.

YOU CAN GIVE ME
LESSONS IN JIVE TALK.

OH, DEAR GOD, I HOPE I
DON'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH

THE REST OF MY LIFE THIS WAY.

I BETTER SIT DOWN.
I'M STILL A LITTLE WEAK.

AH, YOU'LL GET
BACK IN SHAPE, DAD.

YOU'RE A GREAT ATHLETE.

I AM? SURE.

YOU PLAY SQUASH AND TENNIS

AND SWIM AND JOG FOR MILES.

WELL, IF I'M SO RICH,

WHY DIDN'T I HIRE
SOMEBODY TO DO IT FOR ME?

HA HA HA HA! MR. DRUMMOND,

ONE THING YOU HAVEN'T LOST

IS YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR.

IT WASN'T THAT FUNNY.

OH.

WELL, I'LL GO MAKE SOME COFFEE.

I'LL GET IT.

HELLO THERE.

HELLO, MR. CONNOLLY.

HELLO, KIDS.

Arnold: HOW YOU DOING?

TOM... DON...

GOOD TO SEE YOU BACK HOME, PHIL.

I PHONED THE HOSPITAL,

BUT THEY SAID YOU
WERE JUST RELEASED.

I'M SORRY, BUT I DON'T
KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

YOU SEE... AW, COME ON, PHIL.

I KNOW WE'VE HAD
OUR DIFFERENCES,

BUT THERE'S NO REASON
TO TAKE THIS ATTITUDE.

I CAME BY PERSONALLY
TO TELL YOU THAT

THE BOARD MEETING IS
RESCHEDULED FOR THIS WEDNESDAY.

BOARD MEETING?

HEH, THE ONE THAT WAS CANCELED
BECAUSE OF YOUR ACCIDENT.

OH, I GUESS YOU DON'T KNOW,

BUT I'M EXPERIENCING A
TEMPORARY LOSS OF MEMORY.

LOSS OF MEMORY?

I DIDN'T REALIZE IT
WAS THIS SERIOUS.

WELL, HE'LL GET OVER IT.

YEAH. IT'S NOT THAT SERIOUS.

YEAH. DAD'LL FIND HIS MEMORY

AS SOON AS HE REMEMBERS
WHERE HE LOST IT,

RIGHT, DAD?

RIGHT, WILLIS.

I'M ARNOLD.

OH, YEAH. YOU'RE WILLIS.

RIGHT. YOU SEE,

OUR DAD'S GETTING HIS
MEMORY BACK ALREADY.

YOU ACTUALLY DON'T
REMEMBER YOUR OWN SON?

UH, DON, I THINK
IT WOULD BE BEST

TO POSTPONE THAT
MEETING UNTIL PHIL IS BETTER.

HOW LONG WILL THAT BE?

WELL, WE REALLY
DON'T KNOW FOR SURE.

THE DOCTOR CAN'T GIVE
US A DEFINITIVE ANSWER.

WELL, DAD MAY NOT
KNOW WHO HE IS,

BUT WE ALL DO.

YEAH. RIGHT.

HE'S OUR DAD.

YEAH. THE ONE WHO LOVES US

AND TAKES CARE
OF US, RIGHT, DAD?

UH, RIGHT.

PHIL, WE'VE GOT A
COMPANY TO RUN,

AND THERE IS THAT
IMPORTANT VOTE COMING UP

ON THAT CONSTRUCTION DEAL.

WELL, OBVIOUSLY I CAN'T HOLD
A MEETING IN THIS CONDITION,

EVEN IF I AM THE HEAD
OF SOME COMPANY.

THEN MAYBE WE'LL HAVE TO
DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT, PHIL.

I'LL BE IN TOUCH.

OH, BY THE WAY, I DO
HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER.

I DON'T THINK I NEED
A MEMORY TO KNOW

THAT THAT MAN DOESN'T
LIKE ME VERY MUCH.

THAT'S RIGHT, PHIL.

PARTICULARLY ON
THAT FOREIGN DEAL.

YOU TURNED THAT DEAL
DOWN ONCE BEFORE

BECAUSE IT ENTAILED A BRIBE.

WELL, IT'S A RELIEF TO KNOW
I'M AN HONEST BUSINESSMAN.

YEAH. IT'S A WONDER YOU
EVER MADE ANY MONEY.

I'M HONEST, I'M A GOOD ATHLETE,

MY FAMILY LOVES ME.

I MUST BE A GREAT GUY.

I CAN'T WAIT TO GET TO
KNOW MYSELF BETTER.

PHIL, THIS COULD BE MORE
SERIOUS THAN YOU THINK.

NOW CONNOLLY WOULD JUST
LOVE TO TAKE OVER YOUR COMPANY

AND THROW YOU OUT.

AND HE COULD TAKE
ADVANTAGE OF YOUR CONDITION.

UH-OH. GOOD-BYE, PENTHOUSE.

HELLO, POORHOUSE.

SO HE'S GONNA WIPE ME OUT?

NO. YOU'D STILL HAVE
YOUR SHARES OF STOCK,

BUT YOU'D LOSE EVERYTHING

YOU'VE WORKED SO HARD
FOR ALL THESE YEARS.

ISN'T THERE ANYTHING
I CAN DO TO STOP HIM?

JUST ONE THING.

REGAIN YOUR MEMORY.

WELL, THAT WAS A
DELICIOUS DINNER, ADELAIDE.

THANK YOU. SURE WAS. YEAH.

I SEE YOU ATE ALL YOUR
BRUSSELS SPROUTS, MR. DRUMMOND.

WELL, WHY WOULDN'T I EAT THEM?

'CAUSE YOU HATE THEM.

THEN WHY DID YOU
SERVE THEM TO ME?

WELL, I WAS HOPING YOU'D
REMEMBER THAT YOU HATED THEM.

OH, NICE TRY,
ADELAIDE. THANK YOU.

I WANT TO THANK ALL OF
YOU FOR TRYING SO HARD.

YOU ARE SUCH TERRIFIC KIDS.

THERE ISN'T ANYTHING IN
THE WORLD I WANT MORE

THAN TO BE YOUR FATHER AGAIN.

AWW, SAME GOES FOR US, DAD.

WE ARE SO GLAD TO HAVE YOU HOME,

AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA
LOSE YOUR BUSINESS.

I'VE BEEN HOME FOR 2 DAYS NOW,

AND NOTHING'S COMING BACK.

I'M REALLY STARTING
TO GET DISCOURAGED.

WELL, YOU DON'T WORRY, DAD.

WE'LL THINK OF SOMETHING
THAT'LL HELP YOU.

WE SURE WILL.

HEY I JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING

THAT MIGHT JAR YOUR
MEMORY BACK, DAD.

WHAT'S THAT?

THE NIGHT KIMBERLY TURNED BLACK.

YOU TURNED BLACK?

THAT DOESN'T JAR MY MEMORY,

IT BLOWS MY MIND.

NO, WHAT HE MEANS IS

THAT I PUT ON SOME BLACK MAKEUP

TO EMBARRASS A BIGOT
WHO WANTED TO DATE ME.

I SEE. I DON'T REMEMBER THAT.

DO YOU REMEMBER THE TIME
THAT GUY PICKED ON ME AT SCHOOL,

AND YOU SHOWED ME
HOW TO DEFEND MYSELF?

MAN, I GAVE THAT GUY
A RIGHT AND A LEFT

AND AN UPPERCUT.

POW!

WELL, DID IT WORK?

YEAH, I GAVE HIM A BLACK EYE,

BUT YOU GOT MAD AT ME.

WELL, WHY WOULD
I GET MAD AT YOU?

BECAUSE THE KID'S
FATHER CAME OVER

AND GAVE YOU A BLACK EYE.

YOU DON'T REMEMBER
ANY OF THAT, DAD?

NO, I DON'T.

I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING.

THERE'S A LOT TO
BE SAID FOR AMNESIA.

I'LL GET IT.

THANK YOU.

HELLO, KIMBERLY. HI, MR. BISHOP.

TOM... OH, PHIL,

I'M SORRY TO BOTHER
YOU AT DINNER,

BUT THIS IS URGENT.

WELL, WE JUST
FINISHED. WHAT IS IT?

WELL, JUST WHAT
I'VE BEEN AFRAID OF.

CONNOLLY IS UP TO
SOMETHING REALLY ROTTEN.

HE'S THREATENING
TO FILE A PETITION

TO PROVE YOU'RE
NON COMPUS MENTIS

NON COMPUS WHATS-IS?

WELL, THAT'S A MENTAL DISORDER
WHERE THE MIND BECOMES DISORIENTED.

YOU MEAN YOU'RE NUTS?

THAT, TOO.

WHY WOULD MR. CONNOLLY
WANT TO DO THAT

TO DAD, MR. BISHOP?

WELL, HIS FIRST STEP IN
TAKING OVER THE COMPANY

IS TO GET YOUR
DAD OFF THE BOARD.

WELL, CAN HE DO THAT?

YES, I'M AFRAID SO.

PHIL, IF CONNOLLY CAN
HAVE YOU DECLARED

MENTALLY INCOMPETENT,

YOU CAN BE INVOLUNTARILY HELD

FOR 72 HOURS FOR TESTS.

NOW DEPENDING ON THE RESULTS,

THE COURT COULD
APPOINT A CONSERVATOR

TO WATCH OVER YOUR AFFAIRS.

WHAT DOES ALL THAT MEAN?

IT MEANS DAD WON'T HAVE ANY SAY

ABOUT HIS BUSINESS ANYMORE.

THAT'S A DIRTY TRICK.

THAT CONNOLLY GUY IS A
SNAKE IN JOCKEY SHORTS.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING, TOM?

MAYBE THIS WHOLE THING

IS TOO MUCH FOR ME TO FIGHT.

MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST
LET HIM TAKE THE COMPANY.

I CAN'T RUN IT ANYWAY LIKE THIS.

NO, DADDY, YOU'VE
GOTTA HANG IN THERE.

REMEMBER, EVERY
CLOUD HAS A SILVER LINING.

AND IT'S ALWAYS DARKEST
BEFORE THE DAWN.

AND DON'T SHOOT TILL YOU
SEE THE WHITES OF THEIR EYES.

SAY WHAT?

IT'S THE ONLY QUOTE
I COULD THINK OF.

WELL, KIDS, THANKS FOR
THE ENCOURAGEMENT,

BUT THERE'S JUST NO POINT

IN ME TRYING TO HOLD ON

TO THE COMPANY ANY LONGER.

PHIL, I'M AFRAID
LOSING YOUR COMPANY

ISN'T THE WORST PART OF THIS.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WELL, IF CONNOLLY CAN HAVE
YOU DECLARED INCOMPETENT,

IT'S POSSIBLE YOU COULD LOSE
CUSTODY OF YOUR CHILDREN.

Kimberly: CAN THEY DO
THAT? Arnold: IS THAT TRUE?

PHIL...

I'M AFRAID THAT IN YOUR WILL

THERE'S NO PROVISION MADE

FOR TAKING CARE OF YOUR CHILDREN

SHOULD YOU BE
SERIOUSLY INCAPACITATED.

THEY COULD BECOME
WARDS OF THE COURT.

OH, NO, DADDY, YOU
CAN'T LET THEM DO THAT.

LOOK, LOOK. TOM, WHY CAN'T
WE JUST CHANGE MY WILL

TO TAKE CARE OF THAT?

IT'S CATCH-22.

YOU CAN'T LEGALLY CHANGE IT

WHILE YOU'RE IN THIS CONDITION.

REALLY?

Willis: WHAT ARE
YOU GONNA DO, DAD?

DAD, WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN TO US?

DAD, YOU GOTTA FIGHT IT!

QUIET, EVERYBODY! I CAN'T THINK!

I'M GETTING A HEADACHE!

PLEASE, I NEED TIME TO BE ALONE.

I GOTTA THINK THIS
THING THROUGH.

IT'S OK, DADDY, WE UNDERSTAND.

COME ON, GUYS, LET'S GO.

YEAH. YOU'LL WORK IT OUT.

TAKE ALL THE TIME YOU NEED, DAD.

IF YOU NEED US, WE'LL
BE IN OUR ROOMS.

SORRY I HAD TO
TELL YOU THIS, PHIL.

IF YOU NEED ME, YOU
KNOW WHERE TO REACH ME.

NO. AS A MATTER
OF FACT, I DON'T.

OH, YES.

UH, WELL, MY
NUMBER'S IN THIS INDEX.

YOU KNOW, "B" FOR BISHOP.

THANKS, TOM.

GOODNIGHT, PHIL. GOODNIGHT, TOM.

HELLO? IS THIS DON CONNOLLY?

THIS IS PHILIP DRUMMOND.

IT'S URGENT THAT I TALK TO YOU.

COULD YOU COME RIGHT OVER HERE?

WELL, THEN COULD YOU COME
OVER HERE AFTER THE THEATER?

WELL, I'VE DECIDED TO
RESIGN FROM THE COMPANY.

I'LL EVEN SIGN A
PAPER TO THAT EFFECT

IF YOU'LL AGREE TO
WITHDRAW YOUR EFFORT

TO HAVE ME DECLARED
MENTALLY INCOMPETENT.

YES, I MEAN IT.

FINE. I'LL SEE YOU
HERE AROUND 11:00.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING, WILLIS?

I THINK I KNOW A WAY TO
JAR DAD'S MEMORY BACK.

I'LL PUT ABRAHAM IN HIS BATHTUB.

NOW, ARNOLD, HOW IS THAT
GONNA JAR DAD'S MEMORY?

WHEN A NAKED MAN
JUMPS 6 FEET IN THE AIR,

IT'S GONNA JAR SOMETHING.

LISTEN, ARNOLD, WE GOTTA TALK.

I THINK THE BEST THING FOR
US TO DO IS GET OUT OF HERE.

OK. MAYBE A MOVIE
WILL CHEER US UP.

NO, I MEAN GO LIVE
WITH OUR FRIENDS

AND GO BACK TO HARLEM.

WILLIS, I THINK YOUR COMPUS

IS GETTING A LITTLE
NON MENTIS, TOO.

LOOK AT THE FACTS, ARNOLD.

I MEAN, HE DOESN'T REMEMBER US,

WE'RE MAKING HIM YELL AT US,

AND WE'RE GETTING ON HIS NERVES.

BUT WE USED TO DO THAT
WHEN HE KNEW WHO WE WERE.

NO, ARNOLD. IT'S JUST
NOT THE SAME ANYMORE.

WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE
WHILE THE GETTIN'S GOOD.

NO, WILLIS. WE LOVE DAD,

AND WE HAVE TO
GIVE HIM A CHANCE.

AM I INTERRUPTING, FELLAS?

OH, NO. COME RIGHT IN, DAD.

WELL, I JUST WANT TO
APOLOGIZE FOR YELLING.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT GOT INTO ME.

THAT'S OK.

YEAH, SURE. YELLING'S
GOOD FOR YOU.

IT GETS ALL THE POLLUTION
OUT OF YOUR THROAT

AND INTO THE AIR
WHERE IT BELONGS.

SEE, IT'S JUST THAT I'VE BEEN
TRYING SO HARD TO REMEMBER,

AND IT'S GOTTEN ME
VERY FRUSTRATED.

HEY, DADDY, I'VE
GOT A GREAT IDEA.

WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A LOOK

AT OUR OLD FAMILY ALBUM?

YOU KNOW, THAT MIGHT
HELP YOU TO REMEMBER.

THAT IS A GOOD IDEA, KIMBERLY.

LET'S TRY THAT.

LET'S JUST MOVE ABRAHAM HERE.

THAT'S ME WHEN I
WAS JUST A LITTLE BABY.

YOU WERE JUST DARLING.

YEAH, SHE WAS CUTE.

YOUR CHEEKS WERE AS BIG AS MINE.

EXCEPT MINE ARE ON MY FACE.

AND THAT'S YOU PUSHING ME

ON THE SWING IN THE PARK, DADDY.

DO YOU REMEMBER THAT?

NO, I'M AFRAID NOT.

WHO IS THIS PRETTY LADY
IN THE FLOWER GARDEN?

DADDY, THAT'S MOTHER.

YOU DON'T REMEMBER
YOUR OWN WIFE?

NO.

OH, DADDY.

AWW, I'M SORRY.

DON'T CRY, PUMPKIN.

PUMPKIN. DAD, YOU
CALLED ME PUMPKIN.

THAT'S WHAT YOU USED TO CALL ME

WHEN I WAS JUST A LITTLE GIRL.

I DID?

HEY, HE'S STARTING TO REMEMBER!

SHOW HIM SOME
MORE PICTURES. QUICK!

DADDY, LOOK. DO YOU
REMEMBER THIS DAY AT THE BEACH?

I THINK I DO.

DID YOU BURY ME IN THE SAND?

RIGHT UP TO YOUR NECK.

AND I GOT A TERRIBLE SUNBURN.

OF ALL THE THINGS
YOU HAD TO REMEMBER.

THANK GOD SOMETHING
IS STARTING TO COME BACK.

HEY, DAD, REMEMBER THIS...

WHEN YOU TOOK US TO
YOUR COMPANY PICNIC?

NO, I DON'T.

WELL, THAT'S YOU AND ME
IN THE POTATO SACK RACE.

WELL, WHERE ARE
YOU? IN THE SACK.

HEY, DAD, THERE'S US IN
THE PIE-EATING CONTEST.

I DON'T REMEMBER THAT, EITHER.

ARE YOU SURE?

I MEAN, THEY HAD TO
TAKE YOU TO THE DOCTOR.

WHAT FOR?

TO GET THE BLUEBERRIES
REMOVED FROM YOUR NOSE.

I'M SORRY, FELLAS, THAT JUST
DOESN'T COME BACK TO ME.

BUT IT'S WONDERFUL AT LEAST

THAT I REMEMBERED
SOMETHING ABOUT KIMBERLY.

COME ON, DADDY. LET'S
GO AND TELL ADELAIDE.

SHE'LL BE SO HAPPY.

OK, PUMPKIN.

WILLIS, HOW COME DAD CAN
REMEMBER KIMBERLY AND NOT US?

I WAS WONDERING THE SAME THING.

I GUESS DEEP DOWN INSIDE,

HE DOESN'T WANT TO
REMEMBER US, ARNOLD.

I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT.

I GUESS WE SHOULD GO BACK
TO HARLEM WHERE WE BELONG.

YEAH. WE'LL WRITE
HIM A NOTE TONIGHT

AND SLIP OUT WHEN
EVERYBODY'S ASLEEP.

I GUESS WE COULD
STAY WITH VERNON.

BOY, WILLIS,

WHEN WE CAME FROM
HARLEM TO PARK AVENUE,

NOBODY TOLD US IT WOULD
BE A ROUND-TRIP TICKET.

BOYS?

OH, DAD.

WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING
WITH THOSE SUITCASES?

OH, IT'S A GOOD
THING YOU WOKE US UP.

WE MUST HAVE BEEN SLEEPWALKING.

I DON'T THINK YOU EXPECT
ME TO BELIEVE THAT.

LOOK, GUYS, I KNOW IT'S KIND
OF ROUGH AROUND HERE FOR YOU

WITH THE WAY THINGS ARE,

BUT RUNNING AWAY
WON'T SOLVE ANYTHING.

WELL, I THINK IT WILL.

I MEAN, WE DON'T WANT NO JUDGE
TELLING US WHERE WE HAVE TO LIVE.

WE WANT TO LIVE
WITH OUR FRIENDS.

YOU'RE GONNA LIVE RIGHT HERE.

I'M WAITING FOR
MR. CONNOLLY NOW.

NOW I TOLD HIM
THAT IF HE'LL AGREE

TO WITHDRAW HIS EFFORT TO
HAVE ME DECLARED INCOMPETENT,

I WILL RESIGN FROM THE COMPANY,

AND EVERYTHING WILL BE OK.

NO, IT WON'T, DAD.

NOT AS LONG AS YOU DON'T
REMEMBER ME AND WILLIS.

WELL, I'M REMEMBERING
MORE THINGS EVERY DAY.

ONE DAY I WILL REMEMBER YOU.

YEAH, ONE DAY.

WHEN WILL THAT BE?

BY THEN, YOU'LL BE
COMING UP TO OUR ROOM

TO KISS 2 BEARDED
OLD MEN GOOD NIGHT.

I'M SORRY, DAD, BUT
OUR MINDS ARE MADE UP.

WE'RE GOING. YOU'RE
NOT GOING ANYWHERE.

GO UP TO YOUR ROOM.
NO, WE'RE GOING.

DON'T YOU TALK BACK TO ME,
WILLIS. I'M STILL YOUR FATHER.

NOW PICK UP THOSE SUITCASES

AND GET UP TO YOUR ROOM.

WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO YELL AT US, DAD.

IT'S MY HOUSE. I CAN
YELL AS MUCH AS I WANT.

NOW GET UPSTAIRS.

HEY, WHAT'S ALL THE YELLING
ABOUT DOWN HERE? YOU WOKE ME UP.

IS SOMETHING THE
MATTER, MR. DRUMMOND?

I'LL SAY THERE IS.

MY 2 BOYS HAVE FORGOTTEN
THAT I'M THEIR FATHER,

AND IF THEY DON'T GET
THE MESSAGE SOON,

THEY'RE GONNA BE
GROUNDED FOR 2 WEEKS.

2 WEEKS?

YOU NEVER GROUNDED
US FOR 2 WEEKS.

OH, YES, I DID.

THE VERY LAST TIME YOU
BOTH TRIED TO RUN AWAY.

HEY, DAD...

HOW DID YOU KNOW WE
TRIED TO RUN AWAY BEFORE?

WELL, HOW COULD I FORGET?

IT WAS THE VERY DAY YOU
CAME TO LIVE WITH ME. I...

AND I... DAD!

YOU REMEMBER US?

IT WAS...

HEY, WAIT. WAIT.

IT'S... I'M GET... JUST
GIVE ME A MINUTE NOW.

UH, DISNEY WORLD, RIGHT?

All: RIGHT! YEAH!

AND I WAS ON MY WAY
TO THE TRAVEL AGENT

TO GET THE TICKETS, RIGHT?

All: YEAH! I CAN REMEMBER!

I REMEMBER!

I REMEMBER!

I WONDER WHO THAT IS.

OH, THAT'S PROBABLY
DON CONNOLLY.

I ASKED HIM TO COME OVER.

I'LL GET IT. NOPE.

THIS ONE'S ON ME.

Willis: HA!

Arnold: UH-OH. UH-OH, ADELAIDE.

GOOD EVENING, PHIL.

GOOD EVENING, DON.

I'VE GOT YOUR LETTER OF
RESIGNATION RIGHT HERE.

GOOD. SHOVE IT.

WAY TO GO, BLOOD.

RIGHT ON. RIGHT ON!

I GUESS THAT TAKES CARE
OF MR. CONNOLLY, HUH?

ARE YOU GONNA FIRE HIM?

OH, WELL, THAT
MIGHT SEEM VINDICTIVE

AS IF I WAS TAKING
ADVANTAGE OF MY POSITION.

YEAH, I'M GONNA FIRE HIM.

AND WHEN THE
DOCTOR SAYS IT'S OK,

I'M STILL GONNA TAKE
ALL OF YOU TO FLORIDA.

THANKS, DAD. GREAT.

I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW GREAT IT IS
TO BE ABLE TO REMEMBER AGAIN.

BUT THERE'S STILL ONE THING
YOU FORGOT, THOUGH, DAD.

THERE IS? YEAH.

♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU ♪

♪ NOW, THE WORLD DON'T MOVE ♪

♪ TO THE BEAT OF JUST ONE DRUM ♪

♪ WHAT MIGHT BE RIGHT FOR YOU ♪

♪ MAY NOT BE RIGHT FOR SOME ♪

♪ A MAN IS BORN,
HE'S A MAN OF MEANS ♪

♪ THEN ALONG COME TWO ♪

♪ THEY GOT NOTHIN'
BUT THEIR JEANS ♪

♪ BUT THEY GOT
DIFF'RENT STROKES ♪

♪ IT TAKES DIFF'RENT STROKES ♪

♪ IT TAKES DIFF'RENT STROKES ♪

♪ TO MOVE THE
WORLD, YES, IT DOES ♪

♪ IT TAKES DIFF'RENT STROKES
TO MOVE THE WORLD, MMM ♪

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