Diff'rent Strokes (1978–1986): Season 2, Episode 8 - The Adoption: Part 2 - full transcript

♪ Now the world don't move
to the beat of just one drum ♪

♪ What might be right for
you may not be right for some ♪

♪ A man is born He's
a man of means ♪

♪ Then along come two They
got nothin' but their jeans ♪

♪ But they got
diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent strokes
to move the world ♪

♪ Everybody's got a
special kind of story ♪

♪ Everybody finds
a way to shine ♪

♪ It don't matter that you
got not a lot, so what ♪

♪ They'll have theirs and you'll
have yours and I'll have mine ♪



♪ And together we'll
be fine 'cause it takes ♪

♪ Diff'rent strokes to move
the world Yes, it does ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent strokes
to move the world ♪♪

[Narrator] Last week on Diff'rent
Strokes, the Drummond family...

received good news from their
social worker about Willis and Arnold.

Well, guys. just think. After
all this time, come Friday,

you will legally be my sons!

Oh, that'll be great! Not only do we get
adopted, we get to miss a day of school.

[Narrator] Meanwhile, in Jethro
Simpson's junkyard in Los Angeles,

Simpson finds some bankbooks
and a document in an old mattress.

It's the will of a deceased friend
of Arnold and Willis's late parents.

"I, Morton Ridley,
leave my entire fortune...

"to Henry and Lucy Mae
Jackson of New York City.

"Or, in the event
of their deaths,



to their sons,
Willis and Arnold."

Oh. Willis and Arnold Jackson...

sure need somebody
of their own kind...

to help take care of them
and all of that money.

And I vote for me.

[Narrator] The morning the
family was leaving for court,

to make the adoption
legal, Simpson appeared,

with a lawyer and a letter.

It's a letter from your
father, boys. Our father?

It says that, if anything ever
happens to him, or to your mother,

he wants your cousin, Jethro
Simpson, to be your legal guardian.

And now, part two
of "The Adoption."

Boys, is that your
father's writing?

I wouldn't know. I was
only a year old at the time,

and doin' more
thumb-suckin' than readin'.

Yeah, that sure looks
like his writin', Mr. D.

Tom, does that letter
have any validity?

Well, that'll be up to the court, if
Mr. Simpson is claiming guardianship.

Oh, no. He can't
take the boys away.

We won't let them
go! We won't go.

Yeah. You lay one hand on
us, I'll karate all over your knee.

[Karate Yelling]

Arnold, Arnold.
Now, now, calm down.

Simpson, you can see what
this is doing to my family.

- Why are you doing this?
- I'm sorry, Drummond.

I appreciate the way
you've looked after the boys,

but I think they'll be better off
with someone of their own kind.

Color has nothing to do with
anything. I love these boys.

- And I'm not gonna
let you do this.
- Mr. Drummond, if we have to,

we can go to court
and obtain a legal order.

Uh, Tom...

What is my position here?

Well, I know one thing: In view
of that letter from their father,

no judge is giving you
Willis and Arnold today.

But, uh... Let me
research it. I'll make a call.

Now, look, Mr. Simpson, there must
be some other way we can work this out.

Now, what do you want?
Just name it. Name it!

- Is it money? - Money? [Laughs]

Now don't insult my client
by offering him money.

Oh, I'm not insulted!

My client doesn't need your money,
Drummond. He's a wealthy man.

Mr. D.'s got money too.

If you hadn't noticed, this
isn't exactly a flophouse.

Yeah. We got four johns.

I warn you,
Simpson. If I have to,

I will put every penny I have
behind this and fight you all the way.

That's tellin' him, Mr. Drummond.
We're behind you, Daddy.

And if Mr. D. needs any more
money, I'll throw in my piggy bank.

Yeah, and I'll see if I can get an
advance on my old age benefits.

Now, let's not be hasty here. Think of
what's best for the boys, Drummond.

- I am.
- Mr. Drummond,
as you've indicated...

a court battle
could be very costly.

Now, as I've said before,
my client has money too.

Course, it's in Rio. The
Brazilian Savings and Loan.

Uh, Payton, I'd like to
have a word with you.

We can step out on
the terrace, please?

I can't believe
this is happening.

[Clicks Tongue] Five minutes
ago, we were all so happy.

- Life sure is funny.
- Yeah, life is like
an ice-cream cone.

Just when you think you got
it licked, it drips all over you.

Now, don't worry, kids.
We'll beat this thing.

I'm gonna see what
my lawyer's found out.

Payton, I don't think it's a good idea
to be tossin' all of my money around.

What's the problem? Cash flow?

That's right. At the
moment, the flow is slow.

But when you came to
my law firm and showed me

that letter, you said
you were a wealthy man.

I know. I was
there when I said it.

Well, the only way I can think of
to prevent a costly court battle...

is if the boys wanted to
go with you voluntarily.

Judges take into consideration
the wishes of children.

[Chuckles] Turn on
the charm, Simpson.

Oh, well that's easy. I'm
up to my armpits in charm.

Well, let me know what
you decide. Good-bye.

Uh, would you, uh,
lovely young ladies...

mind if I had a charming
chat with the boys alone?

Mr. Simpson. I hope you know
that you're tearing this family apart.

Yeah. Look at this face.

Look how sad you've made it.

I may never smile again.

Oh, my goodness!
Come on, guys. Cheer up!

As we say on the pampas,

every volcano
has a silver linin'.

- I don't understand that.
- Well, that's volcanoes for ya.

But believe me, we're
gonna have lots of laughs.

No, thanks. I get all
the laughs I need...

by watchin' Willis kissin'
himself in the mirror.

Oh, come on now.
You'll like South America.

It's real hot! I hate it hot.

Oh, except at night,
when it's real cold.

And there are lots of big
mountains down there.

I hate mountains. E-Except
on the parts where it's flat.

Yeah, and I bet it rains a lot.
Except when it's not rainin'.

Oh, you've been there before.

I ain't been there,
and I ain't goin'.

I'm stayin' right
here in New York.

Rio would be just like New
York, if you put in a subway,

the Empire State Building
and scatter some winos around.

Well, we ain't goin' there.

Okay.

All right, if that's the way you
feel about Rio, we won't go.

- We'll live in Los Angeles.
- Los Angeles?

Yeah. I've got a little
antique business out there.

Ain't no way I'm gonna
live in Los Angeles.

The smog makes your eyes run, and
the earthquakes make the rest of you run.

Oh, come on now.
You'll like Los Angeles.

We've got Disneyland!

You can play with Snow White and
her little friends. And Mickey Mouse!

I don't need Mickey Mouse.

I got Super Mouse!

And I got Grumpy and
Sleepy all rolled into one.

- Come on, Arnold. Let's go.
- Aw, well, hold on, fellas.

Uh, give a charmin'
man a break here.

Uh, I'll be good
to you. I promise.

N-Now, talk it over.
You'll get to like the idea.

Abraham is sure gonna take this
hard. You ever see a goldfish cry?

No, but I once took out a
barracuda that complained a lot!

[Cackling]

Is that a sample of the
laughs we're gonna have?

- That's right!
- Willis, we're in big trouble.

Uh, yes. Yes, I understand.

All right. Thanks, Bill.

- What did you find out, Tom?
- Well, there was a case...

where a judge took a black
child away from a white couple...

and awarded him
to a black relative.

But surely this
situation is different.

Yes, but Simpson
has that letter.

Are you telling me
that I couldn't win?

No, no, no. It's just that it
could be an uphill battle.

And, uh, very traumatic
for Willis and Arnold.

I just can't put
them through that.

They've been through enough,
losing both their parents.

Come on now. Cheer up.
Everything's gonna be all right.

That's what Custer
kept telling his troops.

This is worse. We're
already tied to the stake,

and Cousin Jethro's lightin'
the fire under our butts.

But don't worry, guys. Daddy'll figure out
a way to change our Cousin Jethro's mind.

I can think a lot of ways,
but they all get you 10 to life.

Mr. Drummond, what
are we gonna do?

[Sighs] Fellas,

I love you, and I always will.

But I just have to honor
the wishes of your father.

What do you mean?

Well, boys, it breaks
my heart to say this...

But unless I can find an answer,

you just may have to go
with your Cousin Jethro.

[Sighs] I prayed for a
miracle, but it's no use.

Maybe God's on a coffee break.

Boys, I will never stop fighting
to try to get you back. Never.

But it just may be that Cousin
Jethro has the law on his side.

We'll just have to remember the year
we've had together as a... wonderful gift.

And be grateful that we had it.

Well, he wants to see ya. So...

I'll send him in.

Oh, my.

I sure am gonna miss seein' your
two faces at breakfast every morning.

I can't imagine walking into the
bathroom and not seeing "Hurry up"...

on the mirror in toothpaste.

I'm sorry I yelled at
you for that, Willis.

I'm not. I'm the one who did it.

We're even, Kimberly.
You yelled at Arnold...

when I was the one who put the
sour cream in your makeup jar.

As long as we're confessin'...

Who put the starch
in my panty hose?

Well, that was an accident. And
I'm sorry I brought the whole thing up.

Well, I don't want to see
that Jethro Simpson again.

I'm liable to say something, and I
don't like to use that kind of language.

Come on, Kimberly.

[Sighs] Boy, Willis, life
sure is confusin', isn't it?

Right now, I'm too
confused to be sure.

It's just not fair that
we have to leave here.

Yeah. I thought I'd
finish school, get married,

raise kids and grow old
right here in this room.

Yeah, well what can we
do? You heard the letter.

Goin' with Cousin
Jethro was Papa's idea.

Yeah, but bein' with
Mr. D. Was Mama's idea.

And it's times like this I wish you could
dial heaven direct and get some answers.

- [Knocking] - Can I come in,
fellas? It's your lovin' cousin.

Yeah, come in. Mm-hmm.

Well, my goodness. I can
see you're a little upset here.

But you're gonna
love livin' with me.

You'll see! You'll
like Los Angeles.

It's like Harlem,
with palm trees.

When you lived in Harlem, did
you see a lot of Mama and Papa?

Oh, all the time. A
week didn't go by...

when I didn't drop
in on them for dinner.

Sometimes, they
even invited me to stay.

Oh, did you know Cousin
Myrtle Waters from Detroit?

Uh, Myrtle? Uh, Myrtle.

No, I can't seem
to "recolleck" here.

How 'bout Mama's friend Bessie?

Bessie. Was she
a friend of Myrtle's?

- Yeah.
- I guess that's why
I can't remember her either.

That's strange. Mama knew
Bessie way before we were born.

Well, my memory ain't been
so good since I had jungle fever.

Shook me up so bad, for two
years, I thought I was a rubber plant.

Well, don't you remember anybody?
Maurice the Baker? Jimmy the Barber?

No, I can't recall them.

How 'bout Crazy Vito
the Vegetable Man?

He used to put carrots in his
ears and said he was a moose.

No, uh, I don't remember him.

But hey! How 'bout
old man Morton Ridley?

- I sure remember him.
- Yeah. Old Mr. Ridley.

He sure was a nice man.
He moved to Los Angeles.

[Giggling] Remember Papa used
to kid him about his mustache?

Yeah! He had the biggest,
funniest mustache I ever did see.

No, no, no! Papa kidded him
because he couldn't grow a mustache.

Oh, sure. I guess I was
thinkin' of Cousin Myrtle.

Uh, well, uh, boys, look.

Why don't we just
forget the past?

Looks like you already have.

Yeah. You got a
memory like Willis's shorts.

There's a big hole in it.

Well, I guess I
better be goin', boys.

Oh, excuse me. I didn't
know you were still here.

Oh, that's all right, Drummond.
I was just leavin'. [Door Closes]

And, uh, I think I'll come back a little
later and discuss the final arrangements...

If that's okay with you.

Yeah, I guess so.
So long, little cousins.

Mm-hmm. [Scoffs]

Well, boys, are you
getting to know your cousin?

Yeah, but he sure
got a awful memory.

He only remembers one
friend out of our whole family.

- Old Morton Ridley.
- Yeah. He didn't even
remember Cousin Myrtle.

And she had a face
people pay money to forget.

Tell me, just who is
this Morton Ridley?

Some poor old bum
Papa used to be nice to.

He said he was gonna
leave Papa all of his money.

Yeah. I think
Mr. Ridley was a little...

He had a lot of air
between his ears.

Well, do you know where
this Mr. Ridley is now?

A long time ago, he
moved to Los Angeles.

Like Cousin Jethro
said we're gonna do.

Wait a minute. I thought
he came from Brazil.

Well, he said he had a little
antique business in Los Angeles.

We don't wanna
live there either.

Yeah. Who wants
to live in a city...

where they only let you
breathe on an odd or even day?

Excuse me, guys. I've got
to make a call to Los Angeles.

I have a sudden
interest in antiques.

Listen, Arnold. We don't want
to live with Cousin Jethro, right?

Right, definitely,
absolutely and I mean it.

The court'll make us go.
Kids don't have any rights.

Then there ought to be
a country run by just kids.

- What would we do
with the grown-ups?
- Put 'em to bed early...

and make 'em eat broccoli.

Arnold, if we can't live with
Mr. D., we've gotta run away.

- Run away?
- Are you with me?

Sure, Willis. I always
wanna be with you.

But could we run
away after dinner?

Mrs. Garrett is cooking
some of my favorite stuff.

- What's that?
- Food.

You all ready to leave?
Yeah. Just one second.

Well, good-bye, Abraham.

I'll never forget the way you
look up at me every morning...

and flap your
little fins and go...

Come on, Arnold. Let's get goin'
before Cousin Jethro gets back.

You think they suspected
anything at dinner?

No. But I thought you blew it when
you asked for dessert in a doggie bag.

Well, I figure we might
get hungry on the road.

Should I pack my
electric blanket?

Where are you gonna
plug it, into your nose?

Let's go. All right.

Did you write the good-bye
note? Yeah, it's right here.

"Dear Mr. D., Kimberly
and Mrs. Garrett.

"If we can't live with
the people we love,

"we wanna live alone.

"Don't worry about us,
we've got each other.

"Signed, Willis and Arnold,

your almost former sons."

Well, I guess that
just about says it all.

Come on, little
brother. Let's go.

Well, good-bye, Abraham.

Here's one for the road.

Wait up.

[Sighs]

Hey, fellas!

Where are you going
with the suitcases? [Sighs]

We'd rather run away
than live with Cousin Jethro.

Yeah, when our mama died and you
took care of us, where was Cousin Jethro?

Down in South America,
sittin' on his big, fat plantation.

Boys, I don't think you're gonna
have to go with Cousin Jethro.

What you talkin' about, Mr. D.?

I just spoke to a friend of mine in
Los Angeles, and you know what?

Jethro Simpson isn't
a rich man from Brazil.

He's a junk dealer from L.A.

And I'll bet he is no
more your cousin than...

Kermit the Frog!

Then why was he
tryin' to take us away?

I don't know, but I think it has
something to do with old Morton Ridley.

Didn't you say that he was going to
leave all of his money to your father?

Yeah, but he was a poor
old man, wasn't he, Arnold?

Was he poor? Alley cats
used to bring him food.

- [Doorbell Chimes]
- Now, listen.

If that's Cousin Jethro, don't
mention anything that I said.

Put those suitcases
under the desk. Okay.

Well, hello, Drummond. How
are you doin' this find evenin'?

I couldn't be better, Cousin
Jethro. Come in. Come in.

Thank you. Well, how are
my little cousins feeling?

- Real cool, Cousin Jethro.
- Yup. If we were any cooler,

we'd have to be defrosted.

Cousin Jethro, how about a
drink? Oh, don't mind if I do.

Make mine a Harvey Wallbanger. Light
on the Harvey, and heavy on the banger.

[Chuckles]

Would you settle for a glass
of wine? Well, I certainly will.

Uh, liquor is quicker,
but wine is fine.

Well, here's to ya. Bottoms up!

What do you hear from
Morton Ridley? [Spitting]

I've heard of tossing one down,
but I never saw anybody toss one up.

Excuse me, that's just a... a little
jungle twitch I get every now and then.

Have a seat. Well...
[Chuckles] Thank you.

Thank you, Mr. Drummond.

Now, who is that
you asked about?

I was asking about
Morton Ridley.

Oh, yes, Old Ridley.

He was a friend of
mine. Lived in Harlem.

Richest dude in
the neighborhood.

Always goin' around
flashin' his money.

The boys tell me he didn't
have any money to flash.

Th-Th-That's right!

Uh, I did... I didn't
say he was flashin' it,

I said he was stashin' it.

Simpson, there is something
very fishy about all this.

Maybe it's the tuna sandwich
I packed in my suitcase.

Simpson, you've been
lying, and we know it.

Now, what's your game?
Come on, I want the truth.

Okay. O... [Panting]

All right, I-I confess.

I'm a freelance reporter doing
an article on child-stealing.

Oh, boy. Meet the
president of the Liars' Club.

Simpson? The truth.
Now what are you up to?

Right now, it looks like I'm
up to my bumpers in trouble.

Spill it, Simpson, or you're
gonna be up on a 428.

Heard that on a
Columbo rerun. [Laughs]

O-Okay, Drummond.
I'll tell you everything.

Uh, boys, now, this may
come as a shock to you,

but I ain't your cousin.

I'm no more a relative
than Miss Piggy.

I was close.

And, I'm not into chinchillas
and coffee in Brazil.

I've got a junkyard in
Los Angeles. I know.

You do? And do you also know
about the fake letter from their father?

I do now.

You better quit
while you're behind.

Why would you try to take
us away from Mr. Drummond?

And what has Morton Ridley
to do with all this, Simpson?

Well, you see, he
died, and, uh, I found...

Ridley's old will, leavin' all
his money to Willis and Arnold.

Say what? Money?

Oh, sure. I get it.
And you figured...

Well, hold it! Let's talk a little
bit more about that money!

See, boys, he figured
that whoever the

guardian was would
have control of the money.

Isn't that right,
Simpson? That's right.

I mean, I didn't mean
any harm, honest.

- Let's get back to that money.
- Arnold, the money
isn't important.

How much did
Ridley leave the boys?

- $97,000.
- $97,000!

Willis, do you know how many
gumballs we could buy with that?

Simpson, you should be put
in jail for what you tried to do.

Uh, jail is really too
good for me. [Sobbing]

I should be locked up in a
room with Donny and Marie.

Oh, don't be too hard on
him, Mr. D. He's an old man.

Yeah, and he did confess.

What he did was unforgivable.

Have mercy on him, Mr. D.

From the way he looks, he doesn't
have much longer to live anyway.

Oh, please let him go.

All right, "Cousin Jethro."

Since my sons want it that
way, and no harm was done,

I'll let you off the
hook. Thank you.

Thank you. Y-You
know, Mr. Drummond,

you're a lucky man to
have two fine sons like that.

¡Hasta la cucarachas!

All right, boys. You can unpack
those suitcases. [Willis] All right!

Right! Yeah, that was great.

Well, it's finally
official, guys.

- You're my sons.
- And my brothers.

Oh, what a perfect day!

You got adopted, and the court
clerk asked for my phone number.

We got a surprise for you all. Now that
me and Arnold has inherited all this money,

we'd like to take you
all out to dinner. Oh!

Oh, that's very generous of you.

But you can't get the money till
you're 21. I'll be starved by then.

I'll loan you guys some
money from my savings.

And I got a little mad money
I haven't had a chance to use.

Oh, no. This treat's all on me.

You're the greatest, Mr. D.

Arnold, you said it
wrong. I did? Oh, I did!

You're the greatest, Dad.

[Laughing] I second that, Dad.

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♪ To the beat of just one drum ♪

♪ What might be right for
you may not be right for some ♪

♪ A man is born He's
a man of means ♪

♪ Then along come two They
got nothin' but their jeans ♪

♪ But they got
diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent strokes to
move the world Yes, it does ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent strokes
to move the world ♪

♪ Mmm ♪♪