Diff'rent Strokes (1978–1986): Season 1, Episode 6 - Goodbye Dolly - full transcript
After Kimberly donates Arnold's ratty old doll named Homer to charity and it is sold, he can't sleep. Mr. Drummond quickly tires of this, so he hires a detective to try and find the doll.
♪ Now the world don't move
to the beat of just one drum
♪ What might be right for
you may not be right for some
♪ A man is born
he's a man of means
♪ Then along come two
♪ They got nothin'
but their jeans
♪ But they got Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
♪ Everybody's got
a special kind of story
♪ Everybody finds a way to shine
♪ It don't matter that you got
♪ Not a lot, so what?
♪ They'll have
theirs you'll have yours
♪ And I'll have mine
♪ And together we'll be fine
♪ 'Cause it takes
♪ Diff'rent Strokes to
move the world, yes, it does
♪ It takes Diff'rent Strokes
to move the world! ♪
(KISSES)
(EXCLAIMS)
Hi, Willis. What's new?
(CHUCKLES)
Isn't it about time you
stopped sneakin' around?
I wasn't sneakin' around.
I thought I heard
mice in my socks.
It's about time you stopped
sleepin' with that doll.
Me sleepin' with
a doll? What doll?
Where do you see a doll?
Right here. You're
sleepin' with this doll.
Are you accusin' me of
sleepin' in that drawer?
You're the only one
in the family who could.
Look at this ratty, old thing.
You tryin' to tell me
I'm dreamin' this?
I'm givin' it my best shot.
A guy your age
sleepin' with a doll.
I can't believe it.
Good, we can forget
the whole thing.
Homer's my best friend.
We've been together
since I was a little kid.
He stuck with me
when I had the mumps.
What did you ever do for me?
I gave you the mumps.
It kept you out of
school two whole weeks.
Okay, I owe you one disease.
Let's just forget I
sleep with a doll.
Nobody knows.
You callin' me a nobody?
Yeah, and nobody
better tell nobody.
Here you go, dear.
Thanks, Mrs. Garrett.
You're welcome.
Good morning, Mrs. Garrett.
Good morning, Mr. Drummond.
Good morning,
Daddy. Good morning.
Well, Kimberly, what's all this?
Oh, our school is
having a charity sale
and all the students
are donating things.
I'll put you down for
something, Daddy.
Oh? Like what?
Like anything
you'd like to give.
It can be old or new.
I wish I was still married.
Why is that? I'd
donate my old husband.
Hey, you can have
my old golf clubs.
The last time I played golf, the
caddie suggested I take up bowling.
Yeah. He said the
balls are harder to lose.
Thank you, Daddy,
I'll take them.
Mrs. Garrett, do you have something
you'd like to donate to charity?
Yeah. I've got
somethin' for you.
I'll donate my black wig.
I gave it up 'cause everyone
thought I was Elizabeth Taylor.
Oh, hi, everybody. Hi.
Hi, Mrs. Garrett.
Good morning, waffles.
It's a lovely day
and I'm so sorry
you can't be around
long enough to enjoy it.
Hey, what's Kimberly doin'?
Runnin' away from home?
It looks like she's
doin' it the smart way.
After breakfast.
Oh, thanks. You're welcome.
Kimberly is
collecting old things
for her charity
sale at her school.
Yeah. I'm counting on you guys
to donate something
you don't need.
Will you take Willis?
I have an old pair of
sneakers you can have.
They're so old they
ran out of sneak.
Come on, Arnold. You must have
something you
want to get rid of.
Yeah, I'd like to
give some poor,
deserving kid my next
two years of school.
Hey, Arnold, what about that
beat-up doll you sleep with?
Doll? Who sleeps
with a doll? What doll?
And who's got a doll?
The one you keep
in the dresser drawer.
The one with the yellow hat.
Nobody knows, huh?
You told. I didn't
open my mouth.
Then your mouth
has a real bad leak.
Listen, Arnold, I didn't tell.
You must've said
somethin' about Homer.
No, I didn't.
I have secrets I
don't even tell myself.
Hey, Arnold,
where are you goin'?
I'm not hungry.
You can give my
waffles to charity.
Hey, come here, Arnold.
Look, now, you don't
need to feel embarrassed
just 'cause you
sleep with a doll.
Kimberly used to do that.
Sure. It was the kind
that cried real tears.
Daddy used to
think I wet the bed.
Arnold, I never told
this to anybody before.
But I slept with a doll
until I was in my late 20s.
You did? Mmm-hmm.
It was a little owl,
and every night
I'd squeeze it and it would say,
"Hoo, hoo."
And I'd answer,
"Anybody, anybody."
You see, Arnold? There's
no reason for you to feel bad.
You're just not old enough
yet to give up your doll.
You'll do it when you're ready.
I am so old enough.
I can give up
that ratty, old doll.
Like Mr. Drummond said,
Arnold, you don't have to.
Well, I want to
and I'm givin' it up.
I'm a big boy now, Mrs. Garrett.
I'd like a double order of
waffles and a beer to go.
(GRUNTING)
It's gone. Where
is it? It's not in here.
It's gone! We've
been robbed! Robbers!
(GROANS)
Huh? We been
ripped off! Robbers!
Robbers? Where?
Don't touch nothin'.
You'll mess up the
fingerprints. They got Homer.
Homer?
Arnold, you little dummy.
Don't "dummy" me, they're
holding my doll for ransom.
Boys, what's the matter here?
Somebody stole my doll.
Would you cool it, Arnold?
You know, Homer ain't missin'.
What you talkin' about?
Willis gave me
Homer for charity.
Who said you could
give my doll away?
Now, Arnold, this morning at
breakfast, in front of everybody,
you said that you
were a big boy now
and that you were
giving Homer up.
Don't you guys know when a little
kid is bluffin' to save his reputation?
Arnold, you're gonna end up
a 35-year-old man with a wife,
two kids, and a doll?
You can have my
wife and two kids.
I just want my doll!
Arnold, Arnold,
this is easily solved.
Kimberly, give him back his
doll and we can all go to bed.
I wish I could, Daddy, but
Homer was sold this afternoon.
You sold Homer?
I think my heart just stopped.
Kimberly, first thing, tomorrow,
I want you to go
and buy Homer back.
From who, Daddy?
It was just some man.
Maybe they'll have his name
and address at the charity sale.
That's right. Charities
are tax deductible.
Maybe he bought
Homer with a check.
A check for 10 cents?
You sold my best
friend for 10 cents?
We were asking 15,
but he talked us down.
Poor Homer. Sold
to a cheapskate.
Now, Arnold, don't give up hope.
Tomorrow, somehow,
we'll find Homer.
Now, off to bed.
How am I gonna
fall asleep tonight?
Oh, don't worry, you'll
be able to fall asleep.
No, I won't.
Without Homer, I'll only
be able to fall awake.
Arnold, I'll buy you
another doll to sleep with.
I can't sleep with another doll.
What kind of a guy
do you think I am?
Arnold, you can
sleep without Homer.
Never.
Sleepin' without Homer is
like eatin' a breakfast cereal
that don't crackle
and pop up your nose.
Oh, come on.
Poor Homer. He
never slept without me.
Arnold, could you try sleepin'
without Homer for one night?
Well, I'll try sleepin'
without Homer.
But it ain't easy
quittin' cold turkey.
You can do it.
Good night, Arnold.
Good night, Willis. Good
night, Mr. Drummond.
KIMBERLY: Good night, guys.
Lights out.
Arnold. Don't talk to me.
Listen, Arnold,
I'm sorry, but I wouldn't
do anything to hurt you.
You know, we're brothers.
I'd rather be total strangers.
Man, I didn't do it on purpose.
You still did it.
Yeah, but only because
you said yourself this mornin'
you were givin' that doll up.
In front of everybody.
Willis, I said that
for them, not us.
How am I supposed to know that?
Willis, you better stand
up for the rest of your life
or you'll be sittin'
on your brains.
ANNOUNCER ON TV: And
now, back to The Late Late Show.
One move and I'll bean you.
Mrs. Garret, it's me.
(EXCLAIMS)
No fair, your bat's
bigger than mine.
Oh. I thought it was a prowler.
Thank goodness I didn't
hit you over the head.
Tomorrow's payday.
MAN 1 ON TV: We're
wasting our time.
MAN 2 ON TV: Hey, Al, there's
gotta be a safe around here someplace.
Okay. Okay.
Look out for that lamp.
(CRASHING)
What was that?
Dummy. Don't bump
into anything else.
All right, all right.
Let's find that safe.
We're being
robbed. Take the bat.
I'm better with a
phone. I'll call the police.
Hey, what are you doing...
(MUFFLED)
(HUSHING)
Are you all right?
Thank goodness they
didn't see you. Who?
The burglars. Burglars?
I had to come up here from
Harlem to get ripped off?
I hear something
about used cars.
"Used cars"?
That's Crazy Sam,
the used car man.
Arnold, is the television
set on in there?
Yeah, I couldn't sleep.
You little devil.
I'll turn off the set.
Hey, what's goin' on down here?
What's all the noise about?
Oh, nothing much.
Arnold can't sleep so
he woke up the T.V.
to keep him company.
I'm tellin' you, I can't
sleep without Homer.
The monsters will get me.
You're a big boy.
There are no
monsters in your room.
You never heard Willis snore.
Oh, well, as long as we're all
up, why don't we have a party?
Oh, boy. I'll get my harmonica.
Hold it, tiger. There's
not going to be any party,
and we're all going to
bed and that includes you.
And that is an order.
All right. If you say
so, Mr. Drummond.
I do.
But I'm tellin' you this, without
Homer, I may never sleep again.
Of course you will.
Arnold, I'm going to
take you up to your room,
I'm gonna put you in your bed,
I'm going to fluff
up your pillow,
and I'm gonna tuck you
in all nice and snuggly,
and then you know
what's going to happen?
Yeah, I'll be starin' at the
ceiling for the rest of my life.
Get up there.
♪ He will keep you from harm
♪ Till you're once more
♪ In my arms ♪
Well, that didn't work.
What else have you got?
Arnold, it is 6:00
in the morning,
and none of us has slept a wink.
Don't get mad at me.
I didn't give Homer away.
He's the doll snatcher.
How can I get to
be the only child?
Arnold, why don't you
try counting sheep again?
Oh, I already counted
2,000 of them wool heads.
I even sheared some of 'em
and cut 'em up into lamb chops.
I got an idea. Hmm.
Okay. Arnold shuts his eyes
and counts backwards from 100.
Well, what would that do?
It will give me a chance to get
behind him and belt him over the head.
Please, Willis. No violence
unless it's absolutely necessary.
Please, Arnold. The
sun will soon be up.
If there's any way you
can stop it, I help you.
Why not try some warm milk?
Oh, I love warm milk.
(LAUGHING) Wonderful. Wonderful.
Especially with bacon
and eggs and pancakes.
Let's all have
breakfast. Come on.
Yes, well, I'm very concerned
about Arnold, Doctor.
I know that you told me he'd
eventually fall asleep, Doctor,
but that was two days ago.
It's the rest of us
that are falling apart.
Arnold's just fine.
My daughter's getting
wrinkles, she's only 13.
Yes, I'll call you later,
Doctor, if we survive.
If we don't,
Arnold will call you.
Goodbye.
What did the doctor say?
Same as before. Not to worry.
Arnold will eventually
fall asleep on his own.
I have this horrible feeling that he'll
be collecting social security by then.
Well, I had an idea.
I've hired a private detective.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
(KNOCKING
CONTINUES) I'll get it.
Drummond? Yes?
Miles Monroe, private eye.
Oh, yes, please, come in.
Why didn't you
use the front door?
I thought it'd be safer
to come up the back.
You never can tell
who's watching a building,
you know what I mean?
Miles Monroe, private eye.
Garrett, housekeeper.
Mr. Monroe is going to
help us find Arnold's doll.
Oh, it's worth a shot.
Shot? Who's been shot?
No, no, no, it's just
a figure of speech.
Hey, look, Drummond,
I charge $200 a day,
plus expenses.
Take it or leave it.
That's all right. This
is a very unusual case.
I want you to find a doll.
Well, you came to the right guy.
Monroe's the name,
finding dolls is the game.
(SIGHS)
Okay, now, what's
this doll's name?
Homer.
Kinky. Now what
was the doll wearing?
Kind of a raggedy blue thing.
With a little yellow hat.
PHILIP: Yeah.
Where was this doll last seen?
Sleeping with my son.
All right. How old is your son?
Eight years old.
You puttin' me on, Drummond?
Even Burt Reynolds
waited till he was 10.
You don't seem to understand.
My son's doll was given away
and I'm hiring you to find it.
Now, wait a minute. Are
we talking about a stuffed doll
with fake eyes?
An ordinary kind of
doll that kids play with?
That's right.
Well, now, this case
is gettin' interesting.
Here... Here's a picture
of Arnold and Homer.
Which one's Homer?
The little one
with the fake eyes.
Right, gotcha.
So, the other one, the
tall one is the real kid.
Well, naturally.
I just wanted to show you
you're not dealing with some loser
from The Gong Show.
It's vital that you find
this doll, Mr. Monroe.
Now, it was bought by somebody
at a charity sale
at this address.
Okay, now, who bought it?
We don't know. Just some man.
That narrows it down
to only half of New York.
Any other clues?
No, that's all, I'm afraid.
Every effort we made
to find the doll
ended in a dead end.
That's all?
Who do you think I am,
Drummond? The Pink Panther?
Please help the poor child.
There must be something
you can do about it.
Look, Mr. Monroe, I can't
tell you how important it is
that my son get his doll back.
Now, he has not
slept in two days.
Hey, Drummond,
what's the big deal?
Why don't you just
buy the kid a new doll?
No, no, we tried that.
They don't make them anymore.
Let me think.
Boy, I sure wish
he'd lost a cat.
Cat?
Yeah, I never have
any trouble finding cats.
I have this old suit
that smells like fish.
Now, look, Mr. Monroe...
Okay, wait a minute, wait
a minute. Just let me think.
I got it!
We'll blow up this picture, I'll have
an exact duplicate made of the doll.
We'll give it to the kid, he'll
never know the difference,
he's off to dreamland,
and the case is closed.
Why, that's a great idea.
Mr. Monroe, I could kiss you.
That'll cost you extra, baby.
Now look, Drummond, you remember
any identifying
marks on the doll?
Like a birthmark or a mole?
I seem to remember a spot of
strawberry jam right on the left elbow.
Yeah, sometimes Arnold would
wake up with Homer stuck to his ear.
I'm hungry again.
Here's my son, Mr. Monroe.
How ya doin', Homer?
That's Arnold.
This man is going to
find your doll, Arnold.
He's a detective.
Oh, boy. A real private eye?
That's right, kid. Monroe's the
name, finding dolls is my game.
I'll have Homer back here
before the night's over.
Oh, don't worry, I'll be up.
Won't we all.
Well, kid, I gotta
hit the pavement,
pound a lot of shoe leather
before the night's over.
Keep in touch, okay, kid?
See you, Drummond.
Thanks for hiring that guy to
find Homer, Mr. Drummond.
Now I feel a lot better.
Good. Now that we're gonna get
Homer back, how about taking a nap?
Nah, I got a better
idea. Let's go jogging.
(WHIZZING)
I'm a 747.
(EXCLAIMS)
Arnold, even a 747
has to land sometimes.
(DOORBELL RINGING)
I'll get it.
Hello?
(DOORBELL RINGING)
It's the door.
Goodbye.
MONROE: Evening, Drummond.
(WHISPERING) Did you get it?
Well, did you find Homer?
One thing at a time, kid.
MONROE: Recognize
anything in that picture?
Yeah, that's me and Homer.
This kid doesn't miss a trick.
Well, did you find
him? Did you find him?
Miles Monroe always
gets his doll, kid.
(LAUGHS)
(ALL CHEERING)
Well, isn't there anything you
want to say to Mr. Monroe, Arnold?
Yeah. This ain't my doll.
What are you
talking about, Arnold?
This ain't Homer.
Aha, it looks like Homer to me.
It looks like Homer,
but it ain't Homer.
Oh, Arnold, how can you tell?
When a guy sleeps with a doll
for eight years, he gets to know.
Tough luck, Drummond.
Guess that's 200
clams down the old toilet.
Well, thanks anyway.
Stop by my office tomorrow and my
secretary will have a check for you.
And I'm sorry about the kid.
That's the trouble with
being a private eye.
I get so emotionally
involved with the kids.
You're right, Arnold.
This isn't your doll and I'm
sorry that I tried to trick you.
I only did it because it's
impossible to find Homer again,
and we're all so worried
because you hadn't slept.
Homer's gone forever.
Listen, Arnold,
I know it's hard, but
sometimes in life,
we have to say
goodbye to things.
Even things that we love a lot.
That's part of growing up.
But you don't
have to have a doll
or anything else to
hold onto to feel secure,
and to help you go to sleep.
You're surrounded by
people who love you.
And that's the greatest
security there is.
(WHISPERS) He's asleep.
Hey, everybody, I can sleep!
♪ Now the world don't move
to the beat of just one drum
♪ What might be right for
you may not be right for some
♪ A man is born
he's a man of means
♪ Then along come two
♪ They got nothin'
but their jeans
♪ But they got Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
♪ Diff'rent strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
♪ Yes, it does
♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world ♪
to the beat of just one drum
♪ What might be right for
you may not be right for some
♪ A man is born
he's a man of means
♪ Then along come two
♪ They got nothin'
but their jeans
♪ But they got Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
♪ Everybody's got
a special kind of story
♪ Everybody finds a way to shine
♪ It don't matter that you got
♪ Not a lot, so what?
♪ They'll have
theirs you'll have yours
♪ And I'll have mine
♪ And together we'll be fine
♪ 'Cause it takes
♪ Diff'rent Strokes to
move the world, yes, it does
♪ It takes Diff'rent Strokes
to move the world! ♪
(KISSES)
(EXCLAIMS)
Hi, Willis. What's new?
(CHUCKLES)
Isn't it about time you
stopped sneakin' around?
I wasn't sneakin' around.
I thought I heard
mice in my socks.
It's about time you stopped
sleepin' with that doll.
Me sleepin' with
a doll? What doll?
Where do you see a doll?
Right here. You're
sleepin' with this doll.
Are you accusin' me of
sleepin' in that drawer?
You're the only one
in the family who could.
Look at this ratty, old thing.
You tryin' to tell me
I'm dreamin' this?
I'm givin' it my best shot.
A guy your age
sleepin' with a doll.
I can't believe it.
Good, we can forget
the whole thing.
Homer's my best friend.
We've been together
since I was a little kid.
He stuck with me
when I had the mumps.
What did you ever do for me?
I gave you the mumps.
It kept you out of
school two whole weeks.
Okay, I owe you one disease.
Let's just forget I
sleep with a doll.
Nobody knows.
You callin' me a nobody?
Yeah, and nobody
better tell nobody.
Here you go, dear.
Thanks, Mrs. Garrett.
You're welcome.
Good morning, Mrs. Garrett.
Good morning, Mr. Drummond.
Good morning,
Daddy. Good morning.
Well, Kimberly, what's all this?
Oh, our school is
having a charity sale
and all the students
are donating things.
I'll put you down for
something, Daddy.
Oh? Like what?
Like anything
you'd like to give.
It can be old or new.
I wish I was still married.
Why is that? I'd
donate my old husband.
Hey, you can have
my old golf clubs.
The last time I played golf, the
caddie suggested I take up bowling.
Yeah. He said the
balls are harder to lose.
Thank you, Daddy,
I'll take them.
Mrs. Garrett, do you have something
you'd like to donate to charity?
Yeah. I've got
somethin' for you.
I'll donate my black wig.
I gave it up 'cause everyone
thought I was Elizabeth Taylor.
Oh, hi, everybody. Hi.
Hi, Mrs. Garrett.
Good morning, waffles.
It's a lovely day
and I'm so sorry
you can't be around
long enough to enjoy it.
Hey, what's Kimberly doin'?
Runnin' away from home?
It looks like she's
doin' it the smart way.
After breakfast.
Oh, thanks. You're welcome.
Kimberly is
collecting old things
for her charity
sale at her school.
Yeah. I'm counting on you guys
to donate something
you don't need.
Will you take Willis?
I have an old pair of
sneakers you can have.
They're so old they
ran out of sneak.
Come on, Arnold. You must have
something you
want to get rid of.
Yeah, I'd like to
give some poor,
deserving kid my next
two years of school.
Hey, Arnold, what about that
beat-up doll you sleep with?
Doll? Who sleeps
with a doll? What doll?
And who's got a doll?
The one you keep
in the dresser drawer.
The one with the yellow hat.
Nobody knows, huh?
You told. I didn't
open my mouth.
Then your mouth
has a real bad leak.
Listen, Arnold, I didn't tell.
You must've said
somethin' about Homer.
No, I didn't.
I have secrets I
don't even tell myself.
Hey, Arnold,
where are you goin'?
I'm not hungry.
You can give my
waffles to charity.
Hey, come here, Arnold.
Look, now, you don't
need to feel embarrassed
just 'cause you
sleep with a doll.
Kimberly used to do that.
Sure. It was the kind
that cried real tears.
Daddy used to
think I wet the bed.
Arnold, I never told
this to anybody before.
But I slept with a doll
until I was in my late 20s.
You did? Mmm-hmm.
It was a little owl,
and every night
I'd squeeze it and it would say,
"Hoo, hoo."
And I'd answer,
"Anybody, anybody."
You see, Arnold? There's
no reason for you to feel bad.
You're just not old enough
yet to give up your doll.
You'll do it when you're ready.
I am so old enough.
I can give up
that ratty, old doll.
Like Mr. Drummond said,
Arnold, you don't have to.
Well, I want to
and I'm givin' it up.
I'm a big boy now, Mrs. Garrett.
I'd like a double order of
waffles and a beer to go.
(GRUNTING)
It's gone. Where
is it? It's not in here.
It's gone! We've
been robbed! Robbers!
(GROANS)
Huh? We been
ripped off! Robbers!
Robbers? Where?
Don't touch nothin'.
You'll mess up the
fingerprints. They got Homer.
Homer?
Arnold, you little dummy.
Don't "dummy" me, they're
holding my doll for ransom.
Boys, what's the matter here?
Somebody stole my doll.
Would you cool it, Arnold?
You know, Homer ain't missin'.
What you talkin' about?
Willis gave me
Homer for charity.
Who said you could
give my doll away?
Now, Arnold, this morning at
breakfast, in front of everybody,
you said that you
were a big boy now
and that you were
giving Homer up.
Don't you guys know when a little
kid is bluffin' to save his reputation?
Arnold, you're gonna end up
a 35-year-old man with a wife,
two kids, and a doll?
You can have my
wife and two kids.
I just want my doll!
Arnold, Arnold,
this is easily solved.
Kimberly, give him back his
doll and we can all go to bed.
I wish I could, Daddy, but
Homer was sold this afternoon.
You sold Homer?
I think my heart just stopped.
Kimberly, first thing, tomorrow,
I want you to go
and buy Homer back.
From who, Daddy?
It was just some man.
Maybe they'll have his name
and address at the charity sale.
That's right. Charities
are tax deductible.
Maybe he bought
Homer with a check.
A check for 10 cents?
You sold my best
friend for 10 cents?
We were asking 15,
but he talked us down.
Poor Homer. Sold
to a cheapskate.
Now, Arnold, don't give up hope.
Tomorrow, somehow,
we'll find Homer.
Now, off to bed.
How am I gonna
fall asleep tonight?
Oh, don't worry, you'll
be able to fall asleep.
No, I won't.
Without Homer, I'll only
be able to fall awake.
Arnold, I'll buy you
another doll to sleep with.
I can't sleep with another doll.
What kind of a guy
do you think I am?
Arnold, you can
sleep without Homer.
Never.
Sleepin' without Homer is
like eatin' a breakfast cereal
that don't crackle
and pop up your nose.
Oh, come on.
Poor Homer. He
never slept without me.
Arnold, could you try sleepin'
without Homer for one night?
Well, I'll try sleepin'
without Homer.
But it ain't easy
quittin' cold turkey.
You can do it.
Good night, Arnold.
Good night, Willis. Good
night, Mr. Drummond.
KIMBERLY: Good night, guys.
Lights out.
Arnold. Don't talk to me.
Listen, Arnold,
I'm sorry, but I wouldn't
do anything to hurt you.
You know, we're brothers.
I'd rather be total strangers.
Man, I didn't do it on purpose.
You still did it.
Yeah, but only because
you said yourself this mornin'
you were givin' that doll up.
In front of everybody.
Willis, I said that
for them, not us.
How am I supposed to know that?
Willis, you better stand
up for the rest of your life
or you'll be sittin'
on your brains.
ANNOUNCER ON TV: And
now, back to The Late Late Show.
One move and I'll bean you.
Mrs. Garret, it's me.
(EXCLAIMS)
No fair, your bat's
bigger than mine.
Oh. I thought it was a prowler.
Thank goodness I didn't
hit you over the head.
Tomorrow's payday.
MAN 1 ON TV: We're
wasting our time.
MAN 2 ON TV: Hey, Al, there's
gotta be a safe around here someplace.
Okay. Okay.
Look out for that lamp.
(CRASHING)
What was that?
Dummy. Don't bump
into anything else.
All right, all right.
Let's find that safe.
We're being
robbed. Take the bat.
I'm better with a
phone. I'll call the police.
Hey, what are you doing...
(MUFFLED)
(HUSHING)
Are you all right?
Thank goodness they
didn't see you. Who?
The burglars. Burglars?
I had to come up here from
Harlem to get ripped off?
I hear something
about used cars.
"Used cars"?
That's Crazy Sam,
the used car man.
Arnold, is the television
set on in there?
Yeah, I couldn't sleep.
You little devil.
I'll turn off the set.
Hey, what's goin' on down here?
What's all the noise about?
Oh, nothing much.
Arnold can't sleep so
he woke up the T.V.
to keep him company.
I'm tellin' you, I can't
sleep without Homer.
The monsters will get me.
You're a big boy.
There are no
monsters in your room.
You never heard Willis snore.
Oh, well, as long as we're all
up, why don't we have a party?
Oh, boy. I'll get my harmonica.
Hold it, tiger. There's
not going to be any party,
and we're all going to
bed and that includes you.
And that is an order.
All right. If you say
so, Mr. Drummond.
I do.
But I'm tellin' you this, without
Homer, I may never sleep again.
Of course you will.
Arnold, I'm going to
take you up to your room,
I'm gonna put you in your bed,
I'm going to fluff
up your pillow,
and I'm gonna tuck you
in all nice and snuggly,
and then you know
what's going to happen?
Yeah, I'll be starin' at the
ceiling for the rest of my life.
Get up there.
♪ He will keep you from harm
♪ Till you're once more
♪ In my arms ♪
Well, that didn't work.
What else have you got?
Arnold, it is 6:00
in the morning,
and none of us has slept a wink.
Don't get mad at me.
I didn't give Homer away.
He's the doll snatcher.
How can I get to
be the only child?
Arnold, why don't you
try counting sheep again?
Oh, I already counted
2,000 of them wool heads.
I even sheared some of 'em
and cut 'em up into lamb chops.
I got an idea. Hmm.
Okay. Arnold shuts his eyes
and counts backwards from 100.
Well, what would that do?
It will give me a chance to get
behind him and belt him over the head.
Please, Willis. No violence
unless it's absolutely necessary.
Please, Arnold. The
sun will soon be up.
If there's any way you
can stop it, I help you.
Why not try some warm milk?
Oh, I love warm milk.
(LAUGHING) Wonderful. Wonderful.
Especially with bacon
and eggs and pancakes.
Let's all have
breakfast. Come on.
Yes, well, I'm very concerned
about Arnold, Doctor.
I know that you told me he'd
eventually fall asleep, Doctor,
but that was two days ago.
It's the rest of us
that are falling apart.
Arnold's just fine.
My daughter's getting
wrinkles, she's only 13.
Yes, I'll call you later,
Doctor, if we survive.
If we don't,
Arnold will call you.
Goodbye.
What did the doctor say?
Same as before. Not to worry.
Arnold will eventually
fall asleep on his own.
I have this horrible feeling that he'll
be collecting social security by then.
Well, I had an idea.
I've hired a private detective.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
(KNOCKING
CONTINUES) I'll get it.
Drummond? Yes?
Miles Monroe, private eye.
Oh, yes, please, come in.
Why didn't you
use the front door?
I thought it'd be safer
to come up the back.
You never can tell
who's watching a building,
you know what I mean?
Miles Monroe, private eye.
Garrett, housekeeper.
Mr. Monroe is going to
help us find Arnold's doll.
Oh, it's worth a shot.
Shot? Who's been shot?
No, no, no, it's just
a figure of speech.
Hey, look, Drummond,
I charge $200 a day,
plus expenses.
Take it or leave it.
That's all right. This
is a very unusual case.
I want you to find a doll.
Well, you came to the right guy.
Monroe's the name,
finding dolls is the game.
(SIGHS)
Okay, now, what's
this doll's name?
Homer.
Kinky. Now what
was the doll wearing?
Kind of a raggedy blue thing.
With a little yellow hat.
PHILIP: Yeah.
Where was this doll last seen?
Sleeping with my son.
All right. How old is your son?
Eight years old.
You puttin' me on, Drummond?
Even Burt Reynolds
waited till he was 10.
You don't seem to understand.
My son's doll was given away
and I'm hiring you to find it.
Now, wait a minute. Are
we talking about a stuffed doll
with fake eyes?
An ordinary kind of
doll that kids play with?
That's right.
Well, now, this case
is gettin' interesting.
Here... Here's a picture
of Arnold and Homer.
Which one's Homer?
The little one
with the fake eyes.
Right, gotcha.
So, the other one, the
tall one is the real kid.
Well, naturally.
I just wanted to show you
you're not dealing with some loser
from The Gong Show.
It's vital that you find
this doll, Mr. Monroe.
Now, it was bought by somebody
at a charity sale
at this address.
Okay, now, who bought it?
We don't know. Just some man.
That narrows it down
to only half of New York.
Any other clues?
No, that's all, I'm afraid.
Every effort we made
to find the doll
ended in a dead end.
That's all?
Who do you think I am,
Drummond? The Pink Panther?
Please help the poor child.
There must be something
you can do about it.
Look, Mr. Monroe, I can't
tell you how important it is
that my son get his doll back.
Now, he has not
slept in two days.
Hey, Drummond,
what's the big deal?
Why don't you just
buy the kid a new doll?
No, no, we tried that.
They don't make them anymore.
Let me think.
Boy, I sure wish
he'd lost a cat.
Cat?
Yeah, I never have
any trouble finding cats.
I have this old suit
that smells like fish.
Now, look, Mr. Monroe...
Okay, wait a minute, wait
a minute. Just let me think.
I got it!
We'll blow up this picture, I'll have
an exact duplicate made of the doll.
We'll give it to the kid, he'll
never know the difference,
he's off to dreamland,
and the case is closed.
Why, that's a great idea.
Mr. Monroe, I could kiss you.
That'll cost you extra, baby.
Now look, Drummond, you remember
any identifying
marks on the doll?
Like a birthmark or a mole?
I seem to remember a spot of
strawberry jam right on the left elbow.
Yeah, sometimes Arnold would
wake up with Homer stuck to his ear.
I'm hungry again.
Here's my son, Mr. Monroe.
How ya doin', Homer?
That's Arnold.
This man is going to
find your doll, Arnold.
He's a detective.
Oh, boy. A real private eye?
That's right, kid. Monroe's the
name, finding dolls is my game.
I'll have Homer back here
before the night's over.
Oh, don't worry, I'll be up.
Won't we all.
Well, kid, I gotta
hit the pavement,
pound a lot of shoe leather
before the night's over.
Keep in touch, okay, kid?
See you, Drummond.
Thanks for hiring that guy to
find Homer, Mr. Drummond.
Now I feel a lot better.
Good. Now that we're gonna get
Homer back, how about taking a nap?
Nah, I got a better
idea. Let's go jogging.
(WHIZZING)
I'm a 747.
(EXCLAIMS)
Arnold, even a 747
has to land sometimes.
(DOORBELL RINGING)
I'll get it.
Hello?
(DOORBELL RINGING)
It's the door.
Goodbye.
MONROE: Evening, Drummond.
(WHISPERING) Did you get it?
Well, did you find Homer?
One thing at a time, kid.
MONROE: Recognize
anything in that picture?
Yeah, that's me and Homer.
This kid doesn't miss a trick.
Well, did you find
him? Did you find him?
Miles Monroe always
gets his doll, kid.
(LAUGHS)
(ALL CHEERING)
Well, isn't there anything you
want to say to Mr. Monroe, Arnold?
Yeah. This ain't my doll.
What are you
talking about, Arnold?
This ain't Homer.
Aha, it looks like Homer to me.
It looks like Homer,
but it ain't Homer.
Oh, Arnold, how can you tell?
When a guy sleeps with a doll
for eight years, he gets to know.
Tough luck, Drummond.
Guess that's 200
clams down the old toilet.
Well, thanks anyway.
Stop by my office tomorrow and my
secretary will have a check for you.
And I'm sorry about the kid.
That's the trouble with
being a private eye.
I get so emotionally
involved with the kids.
You're right, Arnold.
This isn't your doll and I'm
sorry that I tried to trick you.
I only did it because it's
impossible to find Homer again,
and we're all so worried
because you hadn't slept.
Homer's gone forever.
Listen, Arnold,
I know it's hard, but
sometimes in life,
we have to say
goodbye to things.
Even things that we love a lot.
That's part of growing up.
But you don't
have to have a doll
or anything else to
hold onto to feel secure,
and to help you go to sleep.
You're surrounded by
people who love you.
And that's the greatest
security there is.
(WHISPERS) He's asleep.
Hey, everybody, I can sleep!
♪ Now the world don't move
to the beat of just one drum
♪ What might be right for
you may not be right for some
♪ A man is born
he's a man of means
♪ Then along come two
♪ They got nothin'
but their jeans
♪ But they got Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
♪ Diff'rent strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
♪ Yes, it does
♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world ♪