Desperate Housewives (2004–2012): Season 7, Episode 14 - Flashback - full transcript

The Scavos grudgingly bend to the rules of Lynette's ma's brand new millionaire husband Frank Kaminsky, but not for long: he dies during his first visit. His corpse must be hidden for a day...


You're marrying him for his money?

Lynette had reservations
about her mother's marriage.

You can't marry
an obnoxious jerk like that.

Susan began her wait
for a kidney donor.

- I'm going on a wait list.
- It takes years.

Bree found out that Keith had a son

but decided not to tell him...

Keith feels that it would be
too difficult for everyone.

Easing her guilt with a check.

Get out of the car!

Gaby's obsession with her doll...

Nearly cost her life.

It's not Grace.

And paul recognized the gun

that was used to shoot him.

Paul young had a son,

but he had not seen Zach in years.

He had lost him
to a world of fast women...

Easy money...

And hard drugs.

Paul had lost his son...

but he was determined to find him.

And he would do anything...

even if that meant
asking for help...

from a man who despised him.

- What the hell are you doing here?
- I need a favor.

- From me?
- I know. You hate me, and I hate you.

We're done with our traditional greeting
can I tell you what I want?

- Yeah, go ahead.
- I need to find Zach.

I went to that mansion
his grandfather left him.

- It's in foreclosure.
- I heard about that.

Do you know where he went?

I don't know where he is.

And even if I did,
why would I do you any favors?

Zach's the one who shot me.

The police showed me the gun.

It was the same one
Mary Alice used to kill herself.

And Zach kept it?

He's always been a strange boy.

If you really think
he tried to kill you,

why didn't you tell the police?

I'd like to keep this in the family.

So again, where is he?

Last I heard, Idaho.

If you hear from him,

tell him I know what he did...

and I'm very disappointed.

Though he didn't admit it,

Mike knew exactly where Zach was,

but the son Paul Young had lost...

had no interest in being found.

Par la Wisteria Team

It doesn't matter where we're going.

It doesn't matter how quickly
we try to get there.

It doesn't matter
that we never look back.

The past we left behind
will still find a way

to catch up to us.

I'm making grilled salmon.
Why did you get a pizza?

Because you're making
grilled salmon.

I wish you wouldn't put that terrible
food in your body. It's not good.

You know you want a bite.
Eat it.

Seriously, I have better-tasting food
under my refrigerator.

- I'm sorry to bother you.
- No bother.

Look, I'm outside.
I need to talk to you.

No, don't come over.
I'll come to you.

See you soon.

I need to run
to Lynette's for a minute.

Do you mind waiting for dinner?

Hurry up. I'm starved.

So the bank says your check
is gonna take five days to clear.

Is there any way
you can get me a cashier's check?

- I really need to pay some bills.
- Absolutely.

There's a restaurant
across from the bank.

I can meet you there
tomorrow at 2:00.

That'll be great.
Thank you again, Bree.

Bree, wait.

I know Keith
doesn't wanna meet Charlie.

But he should at least know
what his son looks like.

I'm sure he'll appreciate that.

So according to the donor database,

I will be waiting
three to four years.

Where does that put me on the list?

- Is there a number?
- There is no number.

It all boils down to your D.N.A.

And how long you've been waiting.

So, you have your beeper.

Four years is a long time.

From Fairview High.

I sat behind you in chem lab.

I was yearbook photographer?

Now I sell pharmaceutical supplies.

I friended you on Facebook,

like, 12 times.

I guess I didn't get them.

No worries.
Tell me, what's new? How are you?

I need a kidney transplant.

I'm gonna be spending
the next three to four years

on dialysis three times a week,
five hours a day.

I didn't know.

Then again, if you'd friended me...

I'll see you at the reunion...

If I'm still alive.

You like?
Frank gave them to me.

- They belonged to my first wife.
- She's dead.

Isn't that a little weird?

This necklace belonged
to his second wife,

and she's sitting right over there.

That's weird.

I have to admit,
you two seem very happy together.

Tell her about Saturday.

What about Saturday?

Frank wants you to bring Tom
and the kids back up here.

I wanna take a family portrait.

Family is very important to Frank.

And since my first three families
aren't speaking to me,

I wanna get this one right,

so I can rub it
in their miserable faces.

That's a sweet thought,

but Saturdays
are kind of crazy for us.

Penny's got ballet,
Parker's studying for the S.A.T.S.

How about
I make it worth your while?

You're bribing me?

Call it gas money if it'll make you
feel any better. Will $500 do it?

I'm not taking his money.

Frank, isn't it time
for your heart medicine?

Look how she takes care of me.

Do what you have to do
to make this work.

But I'm not going over a grand.

What are you doing?

I just married the man.

He's in the process of redoing his will,
so we've gotta play ball.

I am not gonna bend over backwards
just to please that jerk.

You're the one
who married him, not me.

I can't tell Frank no.

But I can tell you no.

So if you want the picture,
you can come to our house.

Fine. I'll talk to him.

Will you stop staring at this necklace?
You are not getting it back!

So the fashion show ends,
and Yves Saint Laurent...

who doesn't swim, by the way...

rents a yacht for the after-party.

And that's where I met Mick Jagger.

Do you have any wine?

We don't really do wine in therapy.

You should.

A few glasses, and you'd have
your patients whining

about how daddy didn't love 'em
in half the time.

Did your father not love you?

I was joking.

My dad was great.

He died when I was a kid.

That must have been hard...
growing up without a male presence?

No. She remarried.

I forgot to tell you the best part
of the Jagger story.

He read my palm.

And he told me I would be
going below deck

to have sex with him.

Not only is he a great singer,
he's an amazing psychic.

Why don't you like
talking about your childhood?

What's the point?
The past is the past.

Sometimes what happens
to us in the past

affects who we are today.

By the way, Jagger, big cuddler.

Come on. We're gonna have
to go deeper here.

Well, that's the thing
about me-there is no deeper.

Ask any of my friends.

I'm the shallowest person they know.

I'm just skin, a little blood,

and stories about Keith Richards
drinking out of my shoes.

You don't have to be afraid.

Let's talk about your childhood.

I love therapy.

- Really?
- Yeah. It's like a talk show

Where I'm the guest,
the only topic is me.

So it's helping?
You talked to her about the doll?

That is confidential.
First rule of therapy.

First rule of therapy is no wine,
but I'm gonna change that.

I'm so glad this is working.
I've been worried about you.

It's exactly what I needed.

In fact, I'm gonna be going
three times a week.

Mondays, Thursdays, and Fridays.

That's a lot.

It was your idea.

By the way...

you're gonna have to take over
my carpools on Mondays.

That's okay?

Sure. I guess I could
move some things around.

And no golf on Thursdays,

because you'll have
to take Juanita to ballet.

Gaby, I do business on the links.

Do you want me to get better or not?

Okay. I will cancel golf.

And on Friday,
I have a gynecologist appointment.

That I need you to cancel.

Wouldn't that be great, though?

I see you brought Charlie.

I don't have anyone to watch him.

I have your cashier's check.

Thank you again, Bree.

- Honey, let's go.
- No. I haven't finished my pizza.

Let's go.

Do you mind keeping an eye on him?

The bank is right across the way.
I'll only be ten minutes.

- I don't know.
- Just order some pizza. It'll be on me.

I'm gonna play games.

Much better than conversation.

- My beeper went off. Does that mean
- Yes, we found you a donor.

But how?
You said it would probably take years.

The rules change

if someone wants to donate a kidney
to a specific individual.


Someone I know?


He's in my office right now
signing the paperwork.

It's a he?

I'm getting a man kidney?

Not that I'm complaining.

You're my donor?

Turns out I'm a match.
What are the odds, huh?

- I don't know what to say.
- I'm giving you a vital organ.

How about "thank you"?

Why would you do this?

We haven't seen each other
in years, and...

I barely remembered you.

I remembered you.

You were really wonderful
to me in high school.

And you're in trouble,

and I wanna help.

So what's a guy gotta do
to get a hug?

Give you a lung?

Come here, you!

Please know
you've made me very happy.

I'm so glad.


I'm on my way to Mrs. Goodman's place
to finish that job and what do I see?

Your car,
parked in front of a pizza joint.

- About that...
- Admit it.

You're hooked.
What are you, a deep-dish girl?

Thin crust?

You got me.
I am a closet pizza lover.

Mystery solved.
You can go to your job now.

I need more quarters.

Who's this?
What do you got, some secret boyfriend?

This is Charlie.

I'm, uh, watching him
for a friend of mine.

I'm sorry, I don't have any more change.
Now, could you excuse us?

You got quarters?

I got some.

Come on.

What about Mrs. Goodman?

She's lived without a screen door
for 30 years. She can wait an half hour.

All right.
Let's see what you got.

I'm gonna show you something.

But this is just between you and me.


In the cookie jar.
Bang. Let's see it.

High five. That was a good one.
Let's see it again. One more.

Step-back jumper fadeaway.

Nice one.

Are you kiddin' me?
One more, I'm calling the NBA.

- That was awesome.
- Did you see that? Three in a row.

I certainly did.
It was wonderful.

Charlie, I gotta take off.
Nice meeting you.

See you later.

Remember me
when you're on the Lakers.

They're here!

Frank drives a Bentley.

Of course he does.

Why are we taking this stupid picture?
I mean, we barely even know the guy.

It's for your grandma.

And the lovely man she just married.

Hello! Welcome!

- Hello, everybody!
- Hey, grandma.

So, this really is where they live.

I thought you were kiddin'.

How was the drive over, Frank?

It took forever.

We got behind
this Asian woman driver,

slow as soy sauce
going uphill in winter.

Okay. Small talk's over.

Let's take the picture.
We were all thinking we'd sit over here.

I don't wanna see your crappy kitchen
in the background there.

Let's move this sofa over there.
I want it to be real homey.

Cagney and Lacey,
grab this end of the couch.

What are you doing?

You can't just walk into people's houses
and move furniture around.

When it looks like this, you can.

No. Put it back.

It's bad enough you make me drive
all the way out here to east podunk.

Well, bull!

I want my picture, my way!

Whatever you say.

That's too heavy.
You're all red.

That's 'cause the girls here
were not much help.

Come and take your place around...

Grandpa Frank.

Here we go.

Everybody smile and say "Bentley".

Okay. Nobody move.
I wanna check that it's good.

Hang on.

We have to do it again.
Frank, your eyes are closed.

What's wrong?

He's dead.

Of course he is.

There's no pulse.

No pulse.
He's definitely dead.

Is his ghost gonna be trapped
in our house?

Is he gonna haunt us?

No, honey. Of course not.

Gross. A dead guy's on our couch.
And I'm having friends over.

How long till he starts to smell?

Go upstairs.
There's nothing to see here.

What are you talking about?
There's a dead body.

That's totally something to see.

Come on.

Let's go. Upstairs.

Come on.

Mom, I'm so sorry.

I can't believe he's gone.
Just like that.

I know.

What are you doing?

I'm calling the police
so they can get a coroner over here.

Hang on.
You can't call them yet.

- Why not?
- That new will I told you about...

the one leaving everything to me?

It doesn't go into effect
until tomorrow.

You want me to keep him here?

Like that? All night?

If we call the coroner now,

I get nothing.

If we call in the morning...

I didn't want Frank in my house
when he was alive.

Now you want me
to hang out with his corpse?

Then throw a sheet over him
and spray a little air freshener.

You won't even notice.

Frank wanted me to have that money.

No! It's too weird!

You wouldn't have
to take care of me anymore.

In fact,

I could even take care of you.

College tuition?

It would make me feel so good

to be able to help you for a change.

It's been a long time, son.

Yeah, I guess.

How's it going?

I couldn't be better.
What can I do for ya?

Let me guess.

You want money.

I nailed it, didn't I?

But you can see,
a lot of other people...

they got here first.

Sorry to hear that.

Who cares?

It's time to downsize,
minimize my carbon footprint.

- You feeling okay, buddy?
- I feel great.

Sounds like
you're the one having problems.

Susan and I
are going through a rough time,

like a lot of people.

So how screwed are you?

We had to rent out our house...

to your father, in fact.

My father's in prison.

He's out.

You didn't know?

- You sure you're okay?
- That bastard gets to walk free

after everything that he did!

I didn't mean to upset you.

It's okay. Just...

Could you leave?

I need to be alone. Just...

You never sneak up behind someone
when they're staring at a dead person!

I'm sorry.

It's just... your scream...

it was like all the testosterone
left your body at once.

This whole thing creeps me out.

It's just...

a body.

How do you become this guy?

9 kids, 14 grandchildren,
and you never talk to any of them.

That's the tricky thing about money.

Changes people.

Changes relationships.

It sure does.

And after you're dead,
what's it all mean?

Not funny.

Hi. This is Maria.

I'm calling to confirm Gabrielle Solis
for her 1:00 appointment.

- Yep. She's on her way.
- Terrific.

You wouldn't happen to know
what kind of treatment she wants today?

I don't know.

Whatever you've been doing
seems to be working.

On Monday she got the seaweed wrap,

Wednesday the hot stone massage.

We just want to make sure she takes
full advantage of our entire spa menu.

She is taking full advantage,
all right.

Good, Sandro.
There you are.

I think we should start
on my shoulders today.

That's good.

Maybe a little lighter
on the pressure.

No, no. Lighter.

Maybe let's not do the shoulders.

How about the glutes?

Carlos, what are you doing here?

You're supposed to be in therapy.

This is therapy!

Didn't you see the sign?
"Massage therapy", "Aromatherapy".

I talked to Dr. Wyner. You haven't
been back since the first session.

Why not?

I just don't think I really need it.

This is really helping.

This is ignoring the problem.

You know, the way you say "Problem",

you make it seem
a whole lot worse than it actually is.

Gaby, you almost got us killed
pulling a doll out of the car.


If it'll get you off my ass,
I'll make an appointment for next week.

Now get your clothes on.
We're leaving.

God, now I'm so tense.

I'll give you 100 bucks if you work
on my shoulders for ten minutes.

That's for free.

Let's go.

He came downstairs
just after midnight

to watch some TV,

and we didn't find him
until this morning.

In that case, I'll just put down
time of death around 3:00 A.M.

Would you like us to bring the body
directly to the funeral home?

Yes, thank you.

Again, ma'am,
I'm sorry for your loss.

My god. I'm rich!

Again, ma'am,
I'm sorry for your loss.

I know.

I spent some of the best weeks
of my life with Frank.

But he's gone,
there's nothing we can do about it,

and I am a millionaire.

You can buy me a new couch.

- I'll buy you whatever you want.
- I was kidding.

Well, I wasn't.
What do you need? Anyone.

- I need a laptop for school.
- Done.

Can I have a motorcycle?

- For school?
- Kids, knock it off.

Frank's body's not even
in the van yet.

Actually, it is.

I don't care.
We're not talking about money right now.

A man died, not a bank account.
A man.

Let's show a little respect.

We should probably figure out
what to do about that Bentley.

Anybody here?

It's me!


It's a rough neighborhood.

You know how it is.

Two visits in one year.
What's up?

Would you mind sitting down?
We need to talk.

Do we?

Sure, just... in a minute.

Who you looking for, Zach?
Your father?

Paul came to see me.

He thinks you shot him.
That true?

Okay. I shot him.

He ruined my life,

but he gets to start his over.
It didn't seem right.

It was easy.

I practiced it in my head
over and over again, and then...


But then I got all paranoid
and I dumped the stupid gun at Bree's.

I don't know what I was thinking
with that one. I wasn't thinking.

That's the problem with being high.
You do things without thinking.

I'm not using drugs.

I've been there.

You need help.

- We got to get you into rehab.
- You want to send me to rehab?

So my father can come and find me
and take me to prison? No way.

I want to get you some help.

It's too late for you
to pretend to be my father.

- But I still care.
- Then why did you let me go?

You let me get raised
by that monster.

That's not how things happened.

- I don't care.
- Let me help you...

Just get out my house.

Get out!

It's really nice of you
to have me over.

Are you kidding?

I am gonna spend the rest of my life
thinking of ways to thank you.

But as a start...

Oh, come on.

That is so sweet.
A crystal heart.

I looked for a crystal kidney-
Surprisingly hard to find.

In high school I always dreamt
you'd give me your heart.

You know, speaking of high school,
I have a present for you, too.

In addition to the one that's
being ripped out of your body?

- Sorry. That was a little too vivid.
- No, that's all right.

Here you go.

What is this?

It's just some memorabilia
that I'd thought you'd enjoy.

Some photos I took that didn't
make the cut for the yearbook.

There I am
on the field hockey team...

And in Pippin.

These are great.
Who else do you have in here?

Oh, there's me on the debate club...

And me at the spring formal...

Me in a bathing suit...

Taken through a fence.

Not easy to get.

Those bushes around your yard
were really thick.

Is this one
of my old english papers?

Yeah, you threw it away,
and I fished it out of the garbage.

That's also where I found this.


My retainer?

I would have returned it, but I
was too scared to talk to you.

Isn't it funny
how we're talking now?

Yeah, really funny.

And now...

We're gonna be bonded...

You know... Forever.

If you told me back in high school
that one day my kidney

would be cleansing
Susan Bremer's blood,

I would have been
the happiest guy on Earth.

Well, I'm glad I could
make that happen for you.


Why don't you go see
what's shaking at the malt shop?

Thanks, grandma.

What's all this?

A little thank you for all the help
you've been the last few days.

Open it, open it.

Wow, it's beautiful.

2,200 bucks.
Didn't bat an eye.

- That's a lot of money.
- There's more where that came from.

Why don't you and the whole fam-damily
come for dinner Sunday night?

I thought you were coming here Sunday.
I was gonna send a kid to pick you up.

It's better you come to me.

But Sunday's a school night,
Tom's got an early meeting Monday.


Nah. Sunday.

Oh, heads up.

Dinners at the center are fancy.

You'll have to squeeze your boys
into some jackets and ties.

Are you not listening?
It's not gonna work for us.

I would think you would want
to make it work, Lynette...

Given everything I'm gonna
be doing for the family.

Are you blackmailing me?

I'm inviting you to dinner.

If you can't make it,

I can ask one of your sisters.

No, cover your man.
Come on.

Hey, babe.
Game's almost over.

Are you kidding me?

You okay?

I'm sorry.
I should have given this to you before.

Why are you giving me a picture
of the kid from the pizza place?

He's your son.

I still can't get over this.

You run into some random
classmate from high school,

and he's gonna end up
saving your life?

Here's the part I can't get over.
You never put out for this guy?

No, I barely remember him.

Monroe is just doing

this incredibly
selfless act of charity.

It's inspiring.

What's this?

Just put that away.

It's got your name on the cover
in glitter.

No, it's just a gift from Monroe.
Can I please have that?

You used to be cute.
What happened?

No, there's like,
a million pictures of you in here.

I guess he had a little crush on me.


This Monroe guy's obsessed with you.
This is a shrine.

- It is not.
- It is.

I know. I've made them.
I can't mail things to Seacrest anymore.

It's creepy.

Like that movie
when they go to the guy's basement

in front of the picture
of the woman he's gonna kill.

Those guys are often misunderstood.

You're gonna take a kidney from him?

Okay, I admit,
I'm a little concerned.

Yes, he may be 5% stalker.

Is this a lock of your hair?

10% stalker.

But if I don't take his kidney,

I could wait another six years.

Why shouldn't I?

Because you'll be
forever connected to him.

You'll never get rid of him.

And I have a feeling that's not
the only organ he wants to...

share with you.

Carlos, can you feel my forehead?

- I think I have a fever.
- You're fine.

- You didn't even feel!
- 'cause I don't need to. Liar.

No, I'm really sick.

Let's reschedule.
I shouldn't see the therapist today.

- We're going in.
- What if I need to throw up?

It's a therapist.
You're supposed to get it all out.

You are going to therapy,
and that's all there is to it.

Can I at least go to the bathroom first?
My bladder is the size of a dime.

- How many years have we been married?
- Too many, if you ask me!

- Where are you going?
- Home.

Gaby, you are sick.
You need help.

Look, you want me take pills,
I will take them.

To see a hypnotist?
Bring him to the house.

Hell, I'll even let you hire
a priest to do an exorcism.

But what I am not going to do
is talk to that woman in there.

Why not?

Because she wants to talk
about my childhood!

Can I say one thing?

You found a way to talk about it before.
With me.

Just that once. We had gotten married.
I thought you had a right to know.

You never wanted to talk about it again,
and I have respected that.

But over the years,
I have seen what it costs you.

The nights I hear you
crying in the bathroom...

Sad look on your face when
people ask about your past...

You think that you've left it behind,
but you haven't, Gaby.

You carry that burden
around with you.

I just want you
to consider the idea that

this therapist might be able
to help you

let all that go.

Can you come with me?

So when I lost Grace,

it tapped into this need
I have to protect children.

Where do you think
this need came from?

'cause no one protected me.

When I was a child,
my stepfather molested me.

- Get in.
- Why would I do that?

I know where Zach is.

Are we driving to Idaho?

Look, the reason I didn't tell you
where he was before

is I didn't know
what you wanted to do to him.

But whatever it is, it can't be worse
than what he's doing to himself.

And why should I care about that
after he tried to kill me?

He's your son.

He's my son.

He needs our help.

Hey, neighbor.

What do you mean, "neighbor"?

Your landlady's
showing me an apartment.

Now that we're back
in each other's lives,

it would be better if I lived close.

Here's the thing about that.

There's close...

And then there's Glenn Close.

This feels a little...



I'm giving you a kidney.

Monroe, come with me.

The other day,
when you were over here,

I did not give you the full story.

This is Mike.

He is my husband.

And this is our son MJ.

Why are you showing me this?

Because I want you to see

that there isn't room for anyone else
in that picture.

Don't get me wrong.

I am so grateful
that you want to give me a kidney.

But once the operation is over,
that has to be it.

- Why?
- Because...

You want to be more than
friends, and I'm married.

The tricky part is that...

I still need a kidney...

'cause I want to stay healthy for...

the two special guys
in that picture.

So if you...

still want to give me one...

no strings attached,

I will be honored to take it.

And you will have
my eternal gratitude.

Yeah, but that's all I'll have.

What do you say?

I can't.

I thought if I did this,
then you would finally...

I know.

I'm so sorry.

Don't be.

I'll be fine.

I guess I'll see you around.

Actually, I guess I won't.

We may think
we've left the past behind,

but it has a way...

of catching up to us.

Though we want to run away,

we are forced to confront our past.

And the secrets that it buried...

must come into the light.

And then,

if we are strong,

we are able to move on.

We all need to leave the past behind

and move on toward the future.

And if we're lucky,

we will have help getting there.