Designing Women (1986–1993): Season 4, Episode 11 - They Shoot Fat Women, Don't They? - full transcript

♪♪

Well, we just had
a great session

over at the college.

Say, what's that? I
never noticed that before.

Oh, that's from my meeting.

There's a whole group
of us that are participating

in Operation World
Hunger this weekend.

I read something
about that in the paper.

Mm-hmm. It's a 48-hour food fast

that people all over
the world can join

and protest the world hunger.



And then, at the
end of the two days,

you donate the money

that you would have
spent on those six meals.

It all goes to buy food
for third world countries.

Anthony, I think that's an
absolutely fantastic idea.

Well, now I was hoping
that you would say that.

I'm responsible for signing
up at least five people.

All you need is a note
from your physician

saying that you're
able to participate,

and you get one of
these little gold-plated pins

in the shape of a 48

if you make it through the fast.

Well, you can count me in.

Thank you, Julia.



I appreciate that.

In fact, that is one of my
favorite things about you...

How you just grasp
things immediately.

You never think about
what's in it for you,

like I know you do not need
one of these little gold pins

to prove that you've
done something wonderful.

You just do it
because it's right.

- You're short on pins.
- That's correct.

We're expecting them any day.

Anyway, I just wanted to say
how much I appreciate you.

Just sitting here, it occurs
to me that I never tell you

just how much I like walking
in here in the morning,

knowing what a truly superior
human being that you are

and feeling just so
proud that, you know...

that you're in my life.

Anthony, you're
going to have to stop.

You're going to make me cry.

I'm the one who should
be saying these things.

I'm the one who's
had all the advantages.

You, on the other hand,
well, you just bowl me over

with all the fine things you do.

How kind and
big-hearted you are.

I've never known a
sweeter soul than yours.

I'm sorry.

It's just that no one has
ever said that to me before.

I didn't know that
you felt like that.

Oh, Anthony, we
all feel like that.

I thought you knew.

No, I knew that you liked
me, but not that much.

Of course we like you.

We love you.

And I love you.

I'm interrupting.
I'll come back.

Oh, no, it's okay.

We're just having coffee.

That's right. Anyway,

I've got to move the
bed around to the front.

I forgot today is trash day.

Thank you.

I really appreciate
this little talk we had.

So do I.

I tell you, I am so tired.

I'm just tired of everything...

Tired of going to
the grocery store,

tired of standing at
the check-out line,

tired of doing the laundry.

As a matter of fact,
I pulled this shirt

out of the dirty clothes
hamper this morning

and pressed it.

Mary Jo, I can't
believe you did that.

Oh, come on, Julia.
You live in another world.

Everybody has done
that at least once,

except maybe you
and Queen Elizabeth.

I'll tell you something else.
I'm tired of shaving my legs.

I'm not dating anybody,
so what's the point?

It's not like the kids care.

I mean, they never go "Gee, Mom,

your legs are so smooth."

Can one of y'all
give me a hand here?

Suzanne, what on
earth have you bought?

Oh, just some dresses
I took on approval.

I wanted y'all to
help me decide,

you know, for my class
reunion this weekend.

Now, you have to keep in mind

Friday night's a meet-and-greet,

so it's casual, and
Saturday is dressy.

Oh, I don't know.

They don't look much like you.

Well, I can't help it, Julia.

You know, since I
put on a little weight...

I mean, they don't have
as many cute things

in my size right now,

but, well, I thought this
blue silk was kind of nice.

Well, it looks
a little matronly.

You know, Suzanne,
you ought to go over

to that specialty shop
in Lennox Square.

They have some great things

that are very expensive-looking.

You know, designer
things for... you know.

What?

Big and Beautiful.

I beg your pardon?

Well, you know, that's
the name of the shop...

Big and Beautiful.

Well, thank you very much,
Mary Jo, for the hot tip.

I just don't think I need
to patronize any store

that would call
itself by that name.

But since you think
it's such a good idea,

why don't we just go all the way

and start shopping
at Fat and Fabulous?

Suzanne, you don't
have to be so sensitive.

Mary Jo is just
trying to be helpful.

I don't care what
she's trying to be.

I don't appreciate being
told to go to a stout shop.

I'll admit I have put on a
few pounds here and there,

but you're all like I
should be ordering fabric

over at Georgia Tent and Awning.

You know, the names of
those stores are kind of dumb.

And have you noticed

that if it's in a real nice
expensive kind of mall,

you know, they'll have names

like Women of Distinction
or New Dimensions.

But if it's for poor
overweight women,

they'll just call it
something like Fat Girls.

Why do you know so
much about all of this?

'Cause my neighbor
gets a subscription

to Big and Beautiful
Women magazine.

Oh, well, now I
guess we all know

what I'll be getting
for Christmas.

Oh, listen, you would love it.

The short stories are great.

They're always about, you know,

some guy who has
dumped his skinny girlfriend

for a great big woman

and has lines like "He
took Rosemary's soft, ample,

"voluptuous body into his arms,

"forever ridding
himself of the memory

of Celia's haggard, pinched
face and boyish rear end."

Oh, and I suppose
you think I'm Rosemary?

Well, Suzanne,
it's a compliment.

I mean, Rosemary
is the neat one.

No, she isn't.
She's the fat one.

Suzanne, we are
just trying to point out

that you have put on
more than a few pounds

and people at that reunion

who have not
seen you for a while

are definitely going to notice.

I just don't want you
to get your feelings hurt.

Maybe I have gone up
a size or two since then.

I don't think it's
that noticeable.

I mean, it's not like I'm
gonna enter the banquet room

followed by a tidal wave.

You know, anyway,
I'll just wear something

that, you know,
covers everything up.

Okay, but you've
gained a little weight

- in your face, too.
- Okay. That's it.

I don't have to take this.

If I wanted to be insulted,

I could just have
just stayed home

and waited for a crank call.

Anyway, you all have
certainly made your point.

I'll just be going now,

if you think the
streets of Atlanta

can stand the strain of
both me and my Mercedes.

Or maybe I should just have one

of those big trucks
drive in front of me,

you know, warning
people with a sign

that says "Caution, wide load."

Hey, Suzanne, you're just
the person I've been looking for.

How would you like to sign
up for a two-day food fast?

How would you like a fat lip?

Suzanne, do you
have any children?

No, I don't.

I had a pig, but she ran away.

Get out of here.

Hey, Suzanne, you want to dance?

Not unless you are any better
than you were in high school.

Man, I guess she told you.

Come on, try me.

Well, all right.

Excuse me.

I just can't believe
how big she's gotten.

She doesn't even look
like the same person.

Did you meet my wife Marcy?

Yes, I did. She's very nice.

You know, it's crazy,

the ideas people get
built up in their minds.

She didn't want to come tonight

because I used to date you,

and she knows you're
a big beauty queen.

And now that she's seen
you, everything's cool.

I'm sorry. I didn't
mean it like that.

That's okay.

Listen, if you don't mind,

I think I'm just going to
powder my nose, okay?

Hey, Suzanne.

Oh, I didn't mean to interrupt.

How you're doing?
I'm doing great.

- Watch your drink there.
- Okay, okay.

I just want to ask one question.

Jeffrey and Patterson
and I have a bet going.

Actually, we've had a bet
going since high school.

Tonight we're
going to settle it,

but we need to get your
bra size then and now.

What's the matter with her?

Shut up.

Did you see Leslie Gillespie?

Doesn't she look
absolutely darling?

Hmm. She's an attorney,

and she's got four
kids. Can you believe it?

Did you hear what Jay said
about Suzanne Sugarbaker?

The new poster girl
for Save the Whales?

Well, no wonder she came alone.

I bet she can't get a date.

You know she's been
married bunch of times.

Yeah, I heard.

Jay says they probably left

because they weren't
getting enough to eat.

- Oh, stop.
- You're terrible.

Hey, I didn't say it. He did.

Well, we're on this 48-hour
fast thing for world hunger,

and we're feeling a little weak.

Charlene, I'm
going to get off now.

I'm so glad you're better.

Well, all right, darling.

Well, bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

I suppose we should
get in that storeroom

and start going through
that fabric shipment.

Yeah, I know we should.

But I'm too weak.

I guess we could eat

and pay the money anyway,

but that wouldn't be right.

- No, it wouldn't.
- That's what I said.

I was going through
that literature

Anthony gave me last night.

Just to think, here
we've gone without food

for about 40 hours,

and we're weak and desperate.

Can you imagine all
those thousands of people

all over the world who
don't eat for days and days?

Sugarbakers.

Oh, hi!

I was going to call you, but
I didn't think you'd be up yet.

How's the reunion?

Oh. Mm-hmm.

Well, I see.

Well, what are you
doing right now?

Oh, nothing much happening here.

I just thought I
might come over.

See you in a minute.

She didn't have a good time?

She didn't say, exactly.

I think I'm just going to
go over and check on her.

Okay.

Julia?

Mm-hmm.

Do you think that fasting means

that... that you can't
have... sugarless gum?

Yes. I do think it means that.

And just for the record,

when I return, I'll be
checking your breath.

Bitch.

Suzanne, it's just human nature.

People love to see
beautiful women get old or fat.

All my life, I've had
to fight my weight.

I'll admit food has been
my security blanket,

but also I just gain
weight more easily

than some people... like you.

You've always had
that little tiny waist

and those skinny legs.

But I can't be that.

And people have always
tried to make me be that.

Suzanne, you're not alone.

I'd be willing to bet

most of the people in this
country are overweight.

The point is it's
different for women,

especially beautiful women.

Look at Elizabeth Taylor.

I bet I've seen National
Velvet probably 20 times,

and if she never did
anything else in her life,

what a contribution that was.

But all of a sudden,
because she got fat,

it was like she no
longer had the right

to live in this country.

And that's how I feel right now.

Boy, drugs, alcohol, cancer...

Whatever your problems,

people are sympathetic
unless you're fat,

and then you're
supposed to be ashamed.

Everything's set
up to tell you that...

Magazine covers, clothes.

I mean, if you're not thin,

you're not neat, and that's it.

And if looks are all
you've ever had...

Wait a minute.

What do you mean,

if looks are all
you've ever had?

Suzanne, first of all,
don't be a dummy.

Your looks will never be
in the past tense, okay?

That face speaks for
itself, and it's here to stay.

And secondly, even if
that weren't so, who cares?

What do you mean?

I mean that you and I

are getting pretty
far along in life now,

and I have been able to
figure out a couple of things.

Are you going to
give me the key?

Yes, as a matter of fact, I am.

In the end, it doesn't matter

what anybody else
thinks about you.

People are going to forget you

about ten minutes
after you die anyway.

The point is you have to be

exactly who and
what you want to be.

Most everybody is coasting along

on phony public relations...

People who say being beautiful

or rich or thin
makes them happy,

people who are trying
to make their marriages

or their children seem
better than they actually are,

and for what?

Appearances.

Appearances don't
count for diddly.

When it's all said and done,

all that counts is what
was true and truly felt

and how we treated one another,

and that's it.

8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

Pig fest!

Hallelujah. I knew
we could do it.

How should we start?

Why don't you just
put it on the floor

and I'm going to do a swan dive.

Let's not eat too much at once.

We might get sick.

Let's save some
for after dinner.

Great idea. Where are
we going to go for dinner?

- Everywhere.
- Mmm.

Let's go to Jilly's first and
eat the whole salad bar,

and then we'll fill the
back of your car with ribs.

That'll get us to the next stop.

Hi.

Mmm.

Don't you look smashing.

I thought you weren't
going to the reunion?

Well, you changed my mind.

Anyway, I just came by to
give you this check for Anthony.

I feel guilty, you
know, about not fasting

because well, I just
didn't understand it.

But, you know, I still
want to contribute.

Good evening, ladies.

Oh, I see we have
completed our fasting

and have progressed
on to the next level.

You better believe it.
We want our pins, too.

Mm. I've got our
checks all ready,

and now Suzanne's
brought one, too.

Well, I am impressed.
Thank you, Suzanne.

She didn't fast.

She doesn't get a pin, does she?

I'm sorry. Maybe next time.

I'll just be taking
these with us.

We're on our way to the banquet.

Oh, Mary Jo, Julia, Suzanne,
I'd like for you to meet

the Atlanta Director of
Operation World Hunger,

Mr. Guy Whitworth.

- How do you do?
- So nice to meet you.

It's a pleasure
to meet all of you.

I'm driving Mr. Whitworth
this evening,

and this is our special
guest of honor, Derrick.

Derrick is from Ethiopia.

That's right. He lost his
entire family to famine,

and now he's traveling
around with our organization

telling people about it.

It's so nice to
meet you, Derrick.

Hello.

- Do you speak English?
- Yes.

I tell people about my
country and other countries

where other children are dying
because they do not have food.

40,000 children every day.

No. That's not true.

Oh, yes, it is worldwide.

40,000 children die
every day of malnutrition?

- That's right.
- Well, that's unbelievable.

Suzanne, you should
read this literature.

Every 72 hours,

the same number of
people die of starvation

as were killed by the
Hiroshima atomic bomb.

That's two atomic bombs a week.

Well, I don't know why this
is not on the news every night.

I can't imagine a
bigger story than this.

What? Some politician
going to prison?

Some movie star
getting a divorce?

Unfortunately,
starvation's an old story.

Most people aren't even aware.

That's why what Derrick
is doing is so important.

What a job for a little boy.

May I shake your hand?

Yes, ma'am.

I just want to say

that I think you're
a real neat kid.

You're pretty.

Thank you, darling.

I needed that.

And what was
that last award for?

Oh, yeah, the person
who came the farthest.

How about an
award for the person

who went the
farthest in high school?

That would be Ruth Dillingham.

She's not here.

She's still under the bleachers.

Keep it down, fellas, okay?

Now we have another
award to give out

for the person who
is the most changed.

- Hi.
- How is it going?

- Where'd you all come from?
- Coffee shop.

- What are you doing here?
- Eating pies.

Any sex change
operations in the room?

We came to check up on you.

I guess not.

All right, well, the day
of reckoning has come.

Let's announce the winner.

And the winner from
the Class of 1974

for the person who
has changed the most...

Suzanne Sugarbaker.

Well, this is quite a surprise.

I guess maybe I
deserve this award

for the person most changed,

but not for the
reason you think.

Last night I got
my feelings hurt

because I came to this
reunion thinking I was beautiful,

and what I found
out was that I'm fat.

At least you think I am.

But that isn't the
biggest change in me.

The biggest change
is that the old Suzanne

wouldn't have shown
up here tonight.

She would have just gotten
thin before the next reunion,

and then she would
have gotten even.

But I'm a little older
and I hope a little wiser

than that person used to be.

A lot of things have
happened to me.

A lot of things have
happened to all of us.

Sandy Smothers was killed
the night before we graduated.

Diane Mitchell's
got two sets of twins,

and Galen Chadwick's
working in the White House.

We had a lot of dreams together,

and there's no
point in pretending...

Some of mine came
true, and... some didn't.

I met a little boy
from Africa tonight

whose family died of starvation,

and I realized I spent
the whole day at home

worrying about the fact
that I have too much to eat.

I'm not sure the old Suzanne

would have appreciated
the absurdity of that,

but... this one does.

So you men wanted
to know my bra size,

but I'd rather talk
about my heart

because it's a little
bigger than it used to be.

The old Suzanne
wouldn't have forgiven you

for the things that you said,

but this one will

because when I look
around this room tonight,

I don't see receding hairlines

and the beginnings of
pot bellies and crow's feet.

I just see all the beautiful
faces of old girl friends

and sweet young boys who
used to stand on my front porch

and try to kiss me good night.

And you can remember
me any way you like.

But that's how I'll
always remember you.

And so I thank you
for giving me this award

for the person most changed,
however you intended it.

I'm going to treasure it

because, number
1, I love trophies,

and... number 2, I earned it.

Thank you.